Tim Humble – The Muslim Family #18 – Obligations of a Wife in a Muslim Marriage
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The conversation covers various aspects of the rights of women, including obligations, disinterested women, privacy, and responsibilities. It touches on the importance of intimacy, honoring women, and the history of the Prophet sallahu. The speakers emphasize the need for men to handle behavior and fulfill obligations, and stress the importance of men in achieving these rights.
AI: Summary ©
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leeuw Alhamdulillah lillahi Rabbil alameen wa salatu salam, ala Atilla he was already he Nabina Muhammad wa ala and he also happy h minor salaam aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh. All praises due to Allah alone, we ask Allah to exalt the mention and grant peace to our messenger Muhammad Sallallahu sent his family and his companions, we're talking about the rights of the husband, the rights of the wife, we've talked about the rights in which there are general equivalents. And we're also talking about the rights that are rights of the husband. We've talked about the obligation of the husband to spend upon his wife to provide accommodation for his wife, the obligation of the
mouth. And these are some of the major obligations that the husband has to take talked about obligation of providing food, and clothing and issues really, around spending, equality in spending between co wives and so on, we're now going to come to some of the obligations of the wife.
And we're going to start by talking about how serious the wife's obligations are, we spoke about how serious the nataka the husband, the spending of the husband how serious that in fact that spending is, we're now going to talk about how serious the obligations of the wife are. And I show the last line here and notice all ally Salalah while he was selling my car, low mode to edit, and yes to that he had a model to model utter and test Judy's LG her the Prophet size and said if I was going to command someone to prostrate before I eat a bow before someone, I would have commanded a woman to bow before her husband.
That's one of the highlights on this topic. And we're going to cover quite a few different wordings of this hadith and different ideas or different different versions of it. So here we talk about the seriousness of a woman fulfilling her husband's obligations, and the importance of obedience to the husband. Since the husband has been set up as the head of the family, Eliza just hit outreach Aluko where moon Island nissa men have a degree of responsibility over women because of what Allah has preferred some of them over others and because of what they spend out of their wealth.
In response to that, a woman has to respect that coworker that responsibility that her husband has, and she has to obey Him and we've spoken already about obedience. And we've spoken about the great rewards of obedience that if a woman obese, her husband praise her prayers faster Ramadan keeps herself chaste and obeys her husband, it will be said to her yomo Kiana enter from whichever the doors of Paradise you wish.
But regardless of what her husband asked her to do, if he's not asking her to do something forbidden, then she must do what she's told. However, when it comes to doing what you're told, and we're going to come to this inshallah we could talk about the parents as well. Doing what you're told we're going to talk about two aspects of it. The first is, there is no obedience to creation in disobedience to the Creator. Law at alima lukin, female Seattle Holic there is no obedience to creation in disobedience to the Creator. So the husband says to his wife, take off your hijab, the husband says to his wife
that do go out with you know, adornment makeup or whatever. The husband says to his wife don't pray. The husband says to his wife, don't fuss Ramadan, LA, Lima Hulu, clean female Seattle Holic there is no obedience to creation in disobedience the Creator, but if she has to disobey her husband, because he's asking her to do something, how long she should disobey Him in the best possible way, ie with the best of manners, the kindness of manners and the best of character because we said this is part of the macro Wolf, that the husband and the wife are commanded to live together with the best of manners, the best of character, so if she has to disobey Him in something because he asked her to do
something wrong, and she does it in the best possible way. And that's the same with the child towards their parent. And it's the same of the husband towards the Muslim ruler, for example, that if you're going to disobey someone because they asked you to do something harm you got to do in the best and the kindest possible way. Also if the husband asks her to do something which is unreasonably unreasonable or harmful to her, so he asked her to do something which is harmful and brings about harm upon her. Then she doesn't have to obey Him in this but again, she has to do this according to a narrow according to what is good and this is an area where she should seek
consultation from the people have knowledge because it's difficult to give a single answer. There are many different situations she might feel it's harmful but the husband might be justified. So it's better that she should ask from the people of knowledge to understand this particular issue, but generally speaking, she obeys her husband, unless he asked me to do something harm or something which brings upon her considerable harm, which is unreasonable within the limits of what is customary and soil and what is in the limits of the shediac. Continuing on from this, we come to a Hadeeth and sideeffects insanity we measure others that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he
said we're living next to Mohammed in bat led to a dilemma to have Rob be here. Hi, Ted to idea haka would you have? Well I will set Allah Hi, Neff, Sahar. We're here Allah Khattab, LEM Tam, now who
said by the one that the soul of Mohammed is in his hands I in that By Allah, a woman does not fulfill the rights of her Lord, until she fulfilled the rights of her husband. And if you asked her for herself, I asked her for intimacy while she was in the saddle.
She would not prevent him from that. And that means that she's in it, it's very inconvenient to any she's saddled up riding the camel or whatever, you know, and He then asked her for intimacy, she then has to get down to make herself available for her husband. And that is one of the major obligations of a woman over a husband and some of the scholars, they've put it in opposition, in contrast to unethical to the husband spending upon her, and that is the right to intimacy. However, in reality, there is an element of the right to intimacy, which is below method, which is equivalent. And this is evidence from a number of points of view. First of all, the fact that God
will bustle and sufficing yourself and lowering your gaze is an obligation upon both the husband and the wife. So the fact that lowering the gaze is an obligation upon the husband and the wife, and protecting the chastity is an obligation upon the husband and the wife. Therefore, fulfilling desires of the husband and the wife is an equivalent obligation. To an extent, however, where it becomes specific to the man is the immediacy, the right to immediate
intimacy or immediate satisfaction as of intimate desires, that that needs to be with regard to the man there is an immediacy there is an urgency that isn't mentioned with regard to the woman even though it is still from her rights. I shared with them at Mia Rahim Allah, Allah mentioned it from the greatest of the rights that the woman has, that her husband fulfills her needs into of an intimate nature. But here,
this emphasizes the immediacy with regard to the husband. And that is, for a couple of reasons. First of all, the scholars, they say that this is the husband's right when he is spending upon his wife, when he has paid the mouth, that he has done so on the understanding that she will be available for him in terms of intimacy. And he has that understanding it's part of the Act, it's part of the contract. And we define the contract as being a contract, which makes intimacy between the two parties permissible in the way that the Sharia has legislated it. So if that's the very definition of actor nica, then ultimately it has to be a major part of the understanding between
husband and wife. So he or she is not allowed to prevent him from that, and also the nature of men is typically different. And man, if he isn't satisfied in that way, and isn't given that right, then it may be that it leads him to looking elsewhere. It may be that it leads him to something that will go back to that woman and bring harm to her like her reputation and her honor, because he isn't able to control himself. So a man's needs are somewhat different in that regard. So we're going to see that if we look at it one way intimacy is a shared right. And it's equivalent, because both husband and wife have the right to intimacy in general, but in terms of immediacy and intimacy, like as in
it being an immediate need, then this is a write of the husband in response to the welfare he spends upon his wife and the mother has given to her.
Likewise, in the duration of this Hadeeth in IB doubled in the hidesign this particular hydrogenerator from while they were in Java, that the prophet SAW Selim said lo come to me on ahead and and yesterday I had in a multiple Nisa, and yesterday
nearly as big hint le magia de la la la la hiner miniloc.
The Prophet slicin said if I was to command anyone to prostrate before anyone, I would have commanded women to prostrate before their husbands because of the rights that Allah has given their husbands over them. And in the Hadeeth of *, that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said is slowly measuring and yesterday Bashar is not right for a man or a person to prostrate before another person. While also they're highly measuring and yesterday that he shot a multiple model and texture that he zoji her mini me happy early her. He said that if it was right for a person to prostrate before another person I would have commanded a woman to prostrate before husband because of the
greatness of the right that he has over her. Likewise, in another Hadith the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam explained in even more detail when leaving fcbd your Academy Academy he lm authority Roxy here are 10 badges. Bill Kai he was studied through Mr. bellet fellow heavyset man attack.
The profits licensed said by the one whose hand my soul is in if there was from the man's feet to the crown of his head, an ulcer that was spilling out blood and pus. And then she came and she faced him, and she licked it off, she would not have given him his right. She would not have given him all of his rights. And that is really explains that the severity and the seriousness of the right of the husband, and the obligation of the wife towards the husband that the profits are so excellent explained with such an emphasis that if he had an ulcer that was bleeding with blood and pus from his head to his foot, and she licked it, if she would not have fulfilled the right that he had over
her. So the rights are very, very important to take seriously, and for her to strive to fulfill to learn what those rights are and to fulfill those rights. And Abdul Leben Amma aerated from the profit center, that he said, Hey, I'm rural la isla de la, Tasha, Lashkar Li Xiao Jia, ye eletter. Stefania. Allah does not look at a woman who doesn't sank her husband or show gratitude to her husband, even though she cannot live without him or she can't manage without him.
Allah azza wa jal doesn't look at it doesn't there's no benefit for that woman that are lies or jealous or look at her. There's no good for her. If she doesn't show gratitude to her husband, even though she should recognize that she can't manage without him. These are all authentic Heidi's from the Prophet sallallahu wasallam one Esma binetti yazeed and outside iya
call it Mandala be a Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam what NFV g we're in at Robin Lee.
Asma, Binti z that I'm sorry she said the prophets I said passed by me and I was with a group of
of girls that were of a similar age to me. Heidi was in a party and edit
and she said for Sella Marlena he gave Salaam to us What color? A you eat what color? He corner waku for me. She said keep away from in gratitude towards the one who gives you goodness. She said Welcome to min agile hiner LMS in at LMS lsvt. She said I was one of the most brave to ask him questions. The call to jasola I said O Messenger of Allah will now call for a mean what does it mean to be ungrateful towards the one who gives you goodness?
Pilar la la. Conner tulku a metal Ha. mean Abba. through mail Zuko Allahu xojo zoologia Why are Zuko ha min hawala de facto bah bah bah bah
bah bah bah bah, bah, bah bah. For tech photo fighter cool ma a to minca Hi, Ron.
He said perhaps one of you women will be single for a long time with her parents living with her parents. She will not be married, that alone will give her husband and from her husband will give her children. So she gets angry with a bit of anger one day and she's ungrateful and she says I never saw any good from you. We have already spoken about this from a different angle, when I emphasize that one of the rights is that she should not be ungrateful towards her husband and one of her
ligations his gratitude towards it and that she never uses these words like never. I never saw any good from you or I never knew any good from you. Or you never did anything good for me and words that are equivalent to this
Why did her saying even us on an amazing met in LA who attend Navy so I saw lymphie hijjah
for 30 min hi jetty ha for Karla hanabusa Lola while he was sent them,
either to zodion nt, pilot Nam Pilar workiva anttila. So, Hassan narrates that a paternal aunt of his came to the Prophet slicin for a need and when he finished with that need that she had, he said to her, Are you married? Are you do you have a husband? She said, Yes. He said, How are you towards him? The Hadith is narrated by the man Ahmed and Al Hakim.
call it marylu She said, I am not I try not to be deficient towards him in his rights illuma I just to unaccept if I'm unable to do it, call a phone votary Aina Auntie Min hufa in NEMA, who agenda Toko. Now.
He said. She said I try not to fall short in any of his rights.
The prophet SAW Selim said
she said except what I felt what I can't do. And I put this hadith because I felt that it's a really nice explanation of how she coped with this huge responsibility of the husband.
You know, all these are Hadith we heard about this weighty responsibility and we've heard on both sides, what a husband could miss out on value that they took from you a heavy oath. And we've heard the right of the of the husband over the wife, and that the Prophet sighs him said that I wouldn't have commanded anyone to prostrate to anyone but if I did, I would have said for a woman to prostrate to a husband. How did the women cope with this? She explains it beautifully. She said, I try my best not to fall short in the way that I deal with him. Except if I'm just unable. I just I couldn't do it. I did my best sometimes I couldn't do it. He said look at how you are with your
husband, for your husband, he is your gender or your now he is your paradise, or he is your hellfire. And that we have mentioned already in the Hadith that if a woman prays her five daily prayers, and faster month of Ramadan God's a chastity and obeys a husband it will be said to enter from whichever the doors of gender you wish.
And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said Allah bureau can be rigidly configured gender, shall I not inform you of your men in Paradise, and their beautiful gender the profits or in gender or Sudoku fill gender and acidic the truth for one is in gender, where shahidul the gender and the martyr is in gender. While mo Ludo fill gender and the child dies before puberty is in gender. What Roger little years old or a half feanor here to massage layers Ooh, La La HIV in general. And a man visits his brother in the far side of the city, and he only visits him for Allah He is in gender. Then the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said Allah biro company sorry company Jenna kulu. We're
doing well. Shall I not inform you of your women in paradise everyone who is loving and bears many children
either hobby but we'll see at La how the buzzer when
she gets angry.
Or
that she something she is by this done to her husband gets angry with her pilot hi the ad theoretic she says this is my hand in your hunt, law actor Halo be rumbling Hatter taco bar, at my eyes are not going to close to sleep until you're happy with me. The High Desert Pavani an essay in a swinnen l Kabbalah from the Heidi the NSF, NIH bearse and caribou nirjala. This Hadith is a powerful Hadith, powerful Hadith that the woman described as being the women of the people of gender. She she gets angry, or her husband gets angry, or things don't work out the way they're supposed to. She puts a hand in her husband's hand and she says My eyes are not going to sleep until you're happy with me.
And what a beautiful etiquette that is and what an example of the responsibility and the obligation of the wife towards the husband. And that's why we put in
That particular in that particular place in our discussion so far another beautiful example of how really to make this work to make these responsibilities work because we don't want to make people feel like it's a burden they can't bear lay you can live for long enough 70 levels Aha. A lot doesn't burden a person with what they can't bear. Is that our mother I she said the prophet SAW Selim, he said, in Nila Alamo is our country and neuroglia will either continue on with either country I lay out
he said I know when you're angry when you're happy with me and I know when you're angry with me. harlot for call to mean a notoriety for garlic. She said I said to him, how do you know this? For call? Emma either couldn t and neuroglia for in Nikita, Coleen la warabi Mohammed. He said, When you're happy with me, you say, I swear by the Lord of Mohammed, and she swears by Allah. But she says it in the way I swear by the Lord of Mohammed when she's happy with the prophets.
What are you there quinti ie are called the bat cruelty law or a bee Ibrahim. And if you're upset with me, you say by the Lord of Ibrahim, call it school to agile voila, he are Sol Allah. Ma judul in less mek.
She said indeed, that's true by Allah or messenger of Allah. But I don't leave anything except your name. Look at a beautiful way that I shall manage this huge responsibility. Now remember, Ayesha has much more responsibility than than an ordinary wife, because her husband is a prophet. So she has a responsibility of a wife to a husband and a responsibility of a follower to a prophet. So it's a very serious responsibility, this hadith in Bukhari, and Muslim. It's very serious. But here, look at how she says that when she gets angry, she doesn't shout or say anything bad or upset the prophets, I seldom just you can tell from the fact that she doesn't say by the Lord of Mohammed, but
she says by the Lord of Ibrahim, and she said, the only thing I left was your name, I didn't want to make you angry, or say anything to make you angry. By just I, I didn't mention your name, that was all, and the profit size. And look how beautifully he took it, and how beautifully he managed that situation with Arusha and how each knew about the other when they were upset, and how each one managed that, and how I should took on the rights of the wife and fulfill those rights and the rights of a someone who of course, her husband as the Prophet, so I sell them, she has to also follow him as a prophet and as a guide and a teacher, as well as as a husband and how she joined
between those rights. So I wanted to bring this to show you that these rights are not impossible to fulfill. And nobody should hear these rights and feel like it's not possible or it's not, it's not doable for a woman to fulfill them. Rather, it is doable, it is possible, just like it's possible for a husband to fulfill the obligations that he has always wife, but it requires that beautiful living together. Why should we live together with them in the most beautiful way? And it requires that more word and that Rama and forgiveness and love and care that is required from both sides for these weighty rights of the husband and wife to be able to be fulfilled when we're either Binney
Jebel Ravi Allahu and resize lm and no call
LA to the Moroccan Xhosa for dunya Illa. Pilate xojo to who minella holy Lorraine.
La to the cartel Akela for Inanna, who are in deki the he don't you shikou, a new feria Kalki Elena,
it is a tournament even a major Muslim I met from the Muslim in general the prophets I some said Let not a woman upset her husband or harm her husband in the dunya. Whenever she said if she does this, then his wife from the whole aim from the women of gender, she says door upset him. May Allah fight you for his only with you for a time a temporary time temporarily. And he is about to leave you to come to us. And he's had he tells one of the the the warnings and and the instruction to the wife to tell her not to harm upset her husband and not to harm her husband and that is one of the obligations that is upon her and to understand that if she does so then this is only going to
raise his rank and only going to cause the hurdle ame from the women of gender to say to make against that woman and to remind her that he is only going to be with her for a short time. This also talks about the severity of the obligations and the importance that she doesn't harm her husband and she doesn't upset her husband.
The Prophet sighs him He said if nanny later Later, Joe was also allowed to warm up
abdun Abbott, meanwhile, he had a larger, one Moroccan acid zosia her hotter temperature.
The prophet SAW him said to people, that prayer does not reach above the head, a servant who runs away from a slave who runs away from his master until he returns and a woman who disobeys her husband until she returns to a being her husband and this is a further emphasis for the obligation of obedience and in Bukhari and Muslim from the Heidi. I'll be alone and they'll call Carlos will lie Sal, Allahu Allah send them either doubt Roger Murata who lfu Rashi the abbot for Berta, love the burn IE her Lynette Alma aka habitat
ebihara narrates the Messenger of Allah sly Selim said if a man calls his wife to bed, and she refuses IFA intimacy, she refuses. And he goes to sleep, angry with her, the angels curse her until the morning comes in in other narrations until her husband is happy with her. So we can take from this the right of intimacy. We had spoken about it briefly where it said there's a degree of equivalence in the right of intimacy, but that the immediacy of it is a right which is for the husband
and it's a Muslim from the mid thigh before I have a body alarm and Carla Carlos autolyse a lot more he was sending when leadin fcbd mermin Rajamouli near the rim writer who lfu Rashi her
Fatah la Illa Kana ladyfish. Summer e se upon la her, had Tayyaba and
the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said by the one whose hand my soul is in, there is no man who calls his wife to her bed and she refuses him except that the one in the heavens is angry with her until her husband is pleased with her. Heidi has insight he will Muslim.
But having said that, we also need to bear in mind on the other side, Heidi the Muslim from Abby Seidel? Quadri yaku Kala Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in Nam in a shuttle in Amman, Ashley Nasir in the LA human Xena, yo malkia are rajul you are rajul you flee in a Marathi he was to de la he from a young chaurasia raha.
He said from the worst of the people in the sight of a lion position on the Day of Judgment is a man who goes to his wife and she goes to him and intimacy then he spreads her secrets. So from the obligations which counterbalances that obligation of immediate intimacy from the wife towards the husband is that the husband has the obligation of keeping what happens between them in the bedroom, quiet and private, and not spreading that to anyone. And that is also an equivalent obligation as it goes to the wife. That's why the prophets I said a man who goes to his wife and his wife goes to him. It's not allowed for him to spread any of the private things that happen between them in terms
of intimacy. So that's kind of a counterbalance to that, and in addition to this, from the obligations is that which narrated by ebihara the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, lay a hill in writing and asuma was ojou Hasha. He'd elaborate, isn't he?
What a 10. Then, fee Beatty, he elaborates upon it, that the Messenger of Allah sighs lm said, it's not allowed for a woman to fast while her husband is present, except with His permission, I in case of his need of intimacy, nor to allow someone to come into his house except with His permission and the Hadith is in piety and Muslim, so very important here, that even when it comes to fasting, that is the voluntary fasting or the makeup of the fast that she delays that he or she seeks a husband's permission in that in case he has the need of that immediate need that media obligation for intimacy as we had mentioned earlier.
That's all we have time for in this session where we've looked at some of the major obligations upon the the wife as it relates to obligations she has towards her husband as we looked at once from the husband previously, as well ally made easy for us to mention and allies with generals best wa Salatu was Salam ala nabina Muhammad Ali are so happy he made
it
Salam Alaikum if you're enjoying these videos, and you'd like to keep up to date with all of the courses we're going to be running, make sure you head over to a m [email protected].