The Muslim Family #19 – Did Allah Command You to Do This
Channel: Tim Humble
Series: Tim Humble - The Muslim Family
File Size: 22.96MB
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Lou well Mustafa de
Lu Alhamdulillah europeen alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala Abdullah he was truly Nabina Muhammad while earlier he also happy edge main Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. As always, we begin with the praise of a lion by asking Allah to exalt the mention of grand peace to our messenger Mohammed Sal, Allahu Allah, He will send them to his family and his companions. We are speaking about the rights of the husband and the rights of the wife as part of this short course brought to you by madrasa tutor Maria, on the topic of the Muslim family. And we had spoken about some of the obligations that the husband has, and some of the obligations that the wife has. And in the previous
episode, we spoke about the severity and the importance and the greatness of the obligation of the wife towards her husband.
What we're going to do now is continue on with some of the rights and expectations and obligations that relate to the wife in Islam. And we're going to set the scene with an ayah in which Allah azza wa jal he said, What codnor Fie boo tikhon wallet about Regina tbev widjaja Haley Yeti oola joaquina sila, Tina's zecca without clear and no law How are Rasulullah in ma you read the love will you use the Heba Nkomo register lol bait were you taught hero calm, total hero lies Virgil said and what codner and remain or and be based and stay within your homes and do not go out displaying your adornment in the way of the previous pre Islamic times of ignorance and perform the prayer and give
the zeca and obey Allah and His messenger. Allah only wants to remove from you register lol bait, he wants to remove anything that is any impurity from you or family of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa send them and he wants to purify you with great purification. Now, this ayah no doubt primarily is directed towards the wives of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam model Viola Martin Han, however, this command for staying around the home and being based around the home and making the home the base from which to the woman she she spends her time. This is a command which Allah subhanaw taala has extended to the believing women, first of all, by example, following the example of the mothers
of the believers, Ravi Allahu anhu. And also other ahaadeeth that indicate that the prayer of the woman for example, that she prays in her room is better than the prayer that she prays in her house. And the prayer that she prays in her house is better than the prayer that she prays in her local Masjid. And the prayer that she prays in a local Masjid is better than the prayer that she prays with the Prophet sallallahu it was said, but this indicates that it is better for a woman to remain within her home and to be based around the home. And some of the scholars they mentioned the statement wakandan Effie booty, this word wall corner it indicates alcara that her place where she
is safe, and she is comfortable, is to be around the home. And we have
sort of alluded to issues relating to a woman working. And we've said that that's not necessarily Haram in of itself is not something which Allah has made haram but it is something which has conditions for it. Among the conditions is that she has the permission of her husband, I have spoken about the woman's obligation to obey the husband from the conditions is that her work is not haram doesn't involve being around the opposite gender mixing with the opposite gender, things relating to the hour and so on.
From the conditions is that it doesn't take away from her other responsibilities that Eliza which has given her but that doesn't stop the fact that this ayah tells us that one of the expectations we have of our wives is that they will be primarily based around the home. And as we said that doesn't mean that they're never allowed to go out the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he told
Not to forbid, the female slaves of Allah from going to the massage it will boo to hoonah Hi, Ron, and the houses are better for them. So here this concept of being based around the home, making the home her base, that is, I think, a reasonable expectation based upon this idea and based upon the many a hadith which indicated from the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam. And we're going to hear some of the Hadith around this topic of being based around the home and her responsibility and her obligations as it relates to her home and as it relates to her children.
So, we have a Heidi's and the Hadeeth is that the Prophet sighs and then, Russell Lai, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and to Ken lemon Nisa, or inlab is near as well as rajyotsava Ronnie, Heidi Hadeeth narrated by a avani or recorded by a tapa Ronnie, the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam forbade that women be spoken to, except with the permission of their husbands. And what this means is that for in terms of the hour of the woman and her protecting her our is that it's not right for a man to approach a woman and start a conversation with her, except with the permission of her husband. So married lady, it's not right for him to walk up to her and start a conversation with
her, except with the permission of her husband. And that's an expectation from among the rights of the husband, that another man who was foreign to his wife is not her father, not her brother, not her paternal or maternal uncle comes to her and like a strange man, and just starts talking to her like, that just starts a conversation with her. That is, uh, goes against the rights of the husband, her husband has the expectation that no strange man that is foreign to that woman, his wife is going to go up to her and talk to her like that and start a conversation with her like that, unless there is a of course harder and need that indicates that and there could be a need. That indicates that
for some reason, she could be out shopping or something like that there could be somebody who said is this does this belong to you or something like that? These are things that for which there is a need, but generally our husband should have an expectation that his wife will not be having conversations with men that are not maharam to her except with His permission. And that's what's indicated by this Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that he forbade women be spoken to accept with the permission of their husbands. Our next Heidi Heidi of ebony Ibis, rhodiola and Houma, la Lu and Raj will be more it in lower Manhattan Muharram while to surfing model in Madhavi,
Mahara will Hadeeth in Delhi mammy Muslim visa, hey, this hadith is recorded by a Muslim and his sohei. From the height of the Ibis, let not a man be alone with a woman. Except while there is a maharam with her. And let not a woman travel except when there is a maharam with her. Now, this hadith is not specific to marriage. This covers the married woman and the unmarried woman. However, the reason we brought this Heidi here in this particular part is in terms of the married woman, it's her husband, who would be the primary person you would expect to be the maharam in that situation. So of course, not the only matter. But we can take from this that this lady, she's not allowed to
travel without her husband's permission. And she's not allowed to be alone with another man. Again, except with her husband's permission, a lot more or less. This is a maharam of hers. So the reason we brought this even though this is general and it could be her father, it could be her brother, who is the Muharram when she's married, it's her husband's permission that is more deserving. And that's why the scholars they say that the husbands permission and the husband and obedience to the husband, for a woman takes precedence over the obedience to her parents. And it takes precedence over the wishes of her parents when she gets married. The obligation to her husband is greater than the
obligation to her parents. And that doesn't mean you don't have an obligation because it doesn't negate the statement of allies or gel. Why Buddha law to shake up Shea and Warby Wiley, Dania Santa, worship Allah and don't make any partner with him and be good to your parents. That doesn't get negated but the husband's the obligation of obedience to the husband, it takes priority. So even in these issues of her traveling, the husband can expect that his wife will not travel without asking his permission, and he can also expect
That she will not be alone with a non Muharram. Except with when there is another person dead when when the husband is there, or the brother or the father is there, and as we said, it's not specific to marriage. But it is a Heidi which has a relation to marriage as it relates to the woman, particularly with regard to the traveling, that that woman would, her husband would expect that she wouldn't travel without asking her husband's permission. And again, you know, we speak about these things, I understand that there's often a lot of negativity around these kinds of things. And a lot of it to be honest with you. It comes from the non Muslims. And it comes from the kind of attitudes
that they are putting forward towards our Muslim women and Muslim men, indeed, Muslim men as well. And the attitudes of not submitting to Allah, of not submitting to the laws of Allah, of painting this as some kind of oppression. Ultimately, we've spoken extensively about the rewards of the woman that obeys a husband, we've spoken extensively about the weight of the responsibility upon the husband to do what is right, and severe punishment that he is liable to if he oppresses his wife. And we've spoken about all these things. So it's not right for a person to look at this and say, this is you know, not allowed, this is oppressive towards the woman, she's not even allowed to
travel. Allah azza wa jal didn't prevent you from something except for a reason that is beneficial to you men and women, anything allow me to hold on for you. Anything Allah restricted you from his from his, from his mercy, that he has restricted you from that thing. So there has to be harms in it, whether you know, those harms or whether you don't know those harms, and submitting to allies what this is about. And ultimately, if it were the other way around, the man would have to do the same thing. If it were the man that had to ask his wife's permission to travel. And if that was what a law had legislated, then the man would have no choice except to submit to that. Because
ultimately, we are here to worship Allah to submit to Allah. And if that means that I have to obey a certain person, or that a woman has to obey her husband, or the man has to obey the ruler and authority over him, or the man has to obey his mother, for example. Ultimately, if that's what it takes for a lot to be pleased with me, then that is I'm going to be satisfied with that girl D to be here, Rob. We're bill Islami, Dena will be Mohammed in sallallahu, alayhi wa sallam and obeah. I'm content with allies, my lord with Islam is my religion with Mohammed Salim is my prophet. And sadly, in this time, there is a strong push from among the non Muslims, and indeed some of the Muslims that
try to break people out of this system that a lot. So a gel has put. And ultimately, I can promise you, anyone who tries to go outside of the obligations that are law as origin set for them and the and the framework that our allies will put for them, they're going to lose out at the end of the day, they're going to lose out in the dunya, they're going to lose out the hasura toniolo. They're going to lose the tawnya, they're going to lose that ultimately, whoever recognizes it recognizes it and whoever doesn't, doesn't. And I think there's a beautiful example, I'm going to give you that as the example of hotjar hotjar alayhis salam Ebrahim Ali salam, when Ibrahim he left hijab, and is
smartly in a word in in a valley lady bizarre without any vegetation. In the set beside the sacred house of a lion muck.
When you blow him left it in that place, she asked a very, very important question. And this question, to be honest, is the only question a woman should ever need to ask when it comes to the rights of the husband, the rights of the wife, she said, Our love what Mr. Kirby had? Did Allah command you to do this? Because if a law commanded you to do this, he will never ever cause us to be lost. If Allah commanded you to do this, so if a husband is telling his wife that you need to ask my permission before you travel, if it is a law that said that all the prophets I send them who said that, then that woman she doesn't have an opinion. She doesn't have any choice in the matter.
Walmart can only move meaning what Mina, either called Allahu or pseudo Emre, or cornella homonuclear lotrimin Embrey him is not for a believing man or a believing woman. If Allah and His Messenger have decreed a matter that they should have any see in it at all. Not for the Muslim man, not for the Muslim woman. I love what Mr. Kirby had. Did a lot command you to do this. However, if the husband is saying
His own, you know, his own ideas, his own culture, his own misconceptions, that is a different matter. But if it is something that Allah commanded that don't let our sisters in Islam be deceived by those who don't want any good for them, because at the end of the day I, I can't speak on behalf of every Muslim man I can only speak on behalf of myself. But I know that Allah Subhana Allah Allah, Allah azza wa jal R Rahman r Rahim, the Most Merciful are right off lkt the most kind, the most noble, the most generous allies, so it just doesn't make laws accepted, those laws are good for you and in your interests. So you should recognize that and you should ask the same question harder
asked our law, what Amala could be harder? Did Allah command you to do this? Because if Allah commanded you to do it, it's not about obedience to the husbands of obedience to Allah, because obedience to the husband is only a branch or a subset of obedience to Allah subhanaw taala. It comes underneath that, and it's there because of that. And so ultimately, if Allah commanded us to do something, we have to submit to that. So I just said, I brought these issues up, because it is something you hear a lot these days you look at instructions. And yes, there are people look at certain countries, and they say, look at the way women are treated in this country, look at the
restrictions upon women in this country. But ultimately, what concerns us is not a country, it doesn't concern us what one country or another country does. It only concerns us, our law, Mr. Kirby hada did Allah commanded you to do this? That's what concerns us, if Allah commanded is not for a believing man, or a believing woman, if a lion is messenger decree a matter that they should have any say in it all, complete submission, complete submission to Allah, and to what Allah azza wa jal decreed, and that's required for men is required from women. So that's something to bear in mind when you hear about these obligations. And we had also already to be fair and balanced. We've
already spoken about the severity of the obligations upon the husband as well, and how serious he has to take those and how much responsibility that Eliza described describe the wife as an Amana, in the sight of Allah, me Falcon vallila, a weighty covenant. And it is something very serious on both sides. So nobody should should hear restrictions and then start to, you know that the shape time comes to them. And then they start using that there they are being oppressed, or that they are not being treated fairly, for everything in the religion of Eliza, which is balanced and everything in the religion of Eliza gel is fair. Well, a overly more advocate a hider. And your Lord doesn't
oppress anybody. It's also important to note on that topic, that there are two types of permission that a husband can give. And this may help to lighten the burden somewhat or make things easier between the husband and the wife. One of those types of permission is a general permission, ie that she doesn't need to ask the husband every single time. She knows that he doesn't have a problem with it. Or he says, Yeah, whenever you want to do that, go ahead. So here, there is no, it's an understood and implied permission. And then there is an explicit permission where he's clearly says that this, you know, she asked him for one thing one time and he says, Yeah, that's okay. Oh, he
says, No, that's not okay. Oh, he says, you know, ask me next time or whatever it is. So it is the case that in many of these issues of permission and authority, it might be the case that the wife has an implicit permission from a husband and he never minds are doing that. We now come to a hadith narrated in Muslim I met Susan I widowed and Jeremy tirmidhi. From our mother, our Asia probably a lot more and her that she said, a human right at in Walmart theater, her fee of 80 bt zoji. Half I'd had tickets sit mabena how are they in a law? She says the law and how whichever woman removes her clothing in any place other than her husband's house has removed the barrier or the covering that is
between her and between a lot has torn down the covering that is between her and between a lot. So one of the expectations that husband can have with his wife is that she is not going to take off her
outer garments are covering her by her hijab and so on. She's not going to take that off except in her husband's house or in a place where she has that she her husband is okay with that. And she has
That degree of security and safety. So husband's house, it could be a father's house, it could be that her husband provides for her a place like a hotel room, and he takes her there. And he says it's okay for her to, you know, for her to just wear her ordinary clothes there. But generally speaking, you can have an understanding and an expectation that she isn't going to remove her hijab in the broad sense of the word, except in her husband's house. And as we can see, in this Hadith, whichever woman removes her clothing in other than the house of her husband, she has toned down, the barrier that is between her and between a lot a matter is quite an important one. And it is an
obligation upon a woman that she's careful about her hijab, and she's careful about where she takes it off. Of course, there may be places where that's safe. And there may be places where the husband doesn't have a problem with that. But generally speaking, this should be the default position. And this is a big thing. And it's a thing that a lot of people don't know about. And a lot of people break those rules and, and go against this, this particular prohibition. And for example, classic example is our weddings.
And likewise, you know, things like changing rooms, in shops, where, or even places like gyms and stuff like that, where there might be CCTV cameras and things like that, where a woman might take off most of her clothing, or all of her clothing, or some of her clothing or change her clothing into different clothing, and outside of her husband's house, so the matter is not one that is you know, it shouldn't be taken lightly. And it should be considered to be the default principle that the only place she removes her clothing is in her husband's house or the places where her husband has got that he doesn't have a problem with it, and a place where it's safe for her to do so as for
the culture these days where people might get changed completely, you know, like in a gym, in
store in a in a shop, where they have the changing rooms, or in other places, a friend's house or whatever, to change claws or whatever. Then this is something that you know, it has to be taken seriously and it's one of the rights that the husband has an expectation that the husband can have and as we said it's all related around the woman being based around the home cognetti BeautyCon.
Our next Heidi relates to a slightly different matter. This Hadeeth of de la Viola and NFL Thema Shekar Martel car fee Eddie hermina raha the editor nebia Sala La La He will send them to Allah who Hardyman Pelham tigit
further calidad de Cali our Isha wlm merger
so this Hadeeth Sadie the value of the alarm and that faulty model the alarm on how she complained that she was getting sore hands.
Because of she she was working in the house and her hands were becoming blistered and saw she came to the Prophet sighs him to ask for a servant and he wasn't home. So she Rue she mentioned her need to Ayesha she told eyeshadow, the law and how to tell the profit side of that this was her need. And when the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam came Asia informed the Prophet size about what Fatima had said. Kala fudger Anna wakad huttner ma ba jianna for the hub to akun takala mechanic if you're jealous. For jealous Urbina had wanted to borrow the idea may borrowed the idea may he Allah sorry, for color Allah I do. lucuma Allah Hi, Ron lacco Mammon, Hardy
says so the Prophet size and King and we had both already laid down to go to sleep to go to bed. And so I went to stand up and he said, stay in your place. So he sat down between us until I found the coolness of his feet on my chest.
He said, shall I not tell you both something which is better for you than having a servant?
Either way, tumor lfu Rashi Kuma, our tumor malba gr Kuma vocab de la Sol Earth and what had I seen was that behind Salat and with that I think what matters a lot and what's that I seen, the higher the higher on lacuna, I mean Harding had is narrated by party and others and in some of the narrations. It also mentions
About the about the
tech appear as being 34. So the Prophet sighs time he said, when you go Shall I not tell you something better than a servant when you go to your bed, or when you lie down to go to sleep, say the tech beer 33 times, and then say the test beer, so panela 33 times, and then say Alhamdulillah say the hand 33 times, this is better for you than having a servant. So I'm going to ask you a question. Why do you think we brought this Heidi, in the topic of the obligations of the wife and the responsibilities that she has? What is this Hadeeth have? What is the connection between this Heidi, and the obligations and responsibilities of the wife have a think?
So hopefully, you had a think about that. He paused the video how to think about it. The reason we brought it is, if Fatima was required to serve her husband, and her hands became sore because of serving her husband in the hole, then we can take from this the obligation of the wife serving her husband. And that's something that not everybody agrees upon. And so therefore, we have to highlight it. Is it a responsibility of the woman to serve her husband as in to serve food for him to maybe bake bread for him, or whatever the the the staple food is for her to iron his clothes for her to
you know, just to do generally serve him around the home. Well, if our if Fatima, the daughter of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam model the alarm went in her hands became sore from serving a husband and the Prophet size of did not agree to give her a servant, then this is an evidence for the obligation of a woman to serve her husband in what is not a wolf in what is customary and usual, according to a place that she lives according to the culture that she's within, according to her status and his but it is expected that she will one of her obligations is a little awkward metazoa to look after her husband and take care of him. Our next Howdy, Abdullah Agni, Mr. Ravi loveline,
Houma and not a solo leisel a lot more and he was sending my pile. Leia, Julie Martin altea 1011 Nisa Jia.
He said, I believe in Amel that the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said it's not allowed for a woman to give a gift except with the permission of her husband. And this would indicate that it's not allowed to give a gift from his wealth. And there are other narrations that indicate that even in terms of how she spends her wealth, she should also seek the permission of her husband for that and this is one of the general narrations are clear any, anything that she gives out that she should give it with the permission of her husband, ie from from his wealth. And what indicates this also is a hadith which is narrated by Abby oh mama bear Haley, Carla semir told us
all lie sallallahu alayhi wa sallam feel hope that he am hydrated wider yaku latinfeels in Milan, attune chez Ameen Beatty's LG her Ellerbee is Nisa, Jia clelia Rasul Allah Wa La color of Babu, Mr. Lena. The Hadith is narrated by widowed it's narrated by iterated by magic to the movie and others,
that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was heard to say, by Abu Mohammed and bear Healy on the in the farewell hedge that he said, a woman is not allowed to spend out of her husband's house except with the permission of her husband. She said, or messenger it was said or messenger of Allah, not even to give out food, the prophet size and said, this is the best of our wealth. So not even to give out food from our husband's house, from our husbands covered except with His permission. And as we said, there could be a general permission for that. And there could be a specific permission for that.
The very last Hadeeth we're going to cover in the rights of the husband and the obligations of the wife. And indeed, actually we can we really could can put this in, in the mutual obligations, but I didn't bring it and I wanted to bring it at the end when I was going over and reviewing my notes, and the works of the scholars and their statements about what they said the rights of the husband and the rights of the wife were, I found that there was one that I really should have, I really should have highlighted in the topic of equality where the husband and wife are equal, but I think it's it's nice one
To end on, and that is a hadith narrated by Obadiah even assignment and notice all Lysol a lot more anywho we're setting them up Kaaba and Lao Bharata, while at the wrong side is narrated by nomada and others
from Arvada, an assignment that he said that the Messenger of Allah I send them judged, there be no bottle and naughty rock. Now the scholars, they have different understandings of these two words they both are very similar to one another in terms of linguistically thought out, and there are, but it could be deliberate harm or accidental harm. It could refer to harm to yourself and harm to other people. It can refer to harm that is done that affects somebody else, and harm that comes back upon a person a lot of different a lot of different explanations of this term, LA, da, da, da, da, da, da. But what we want to highlight here is that is not allowed for a man to harm his wife, nor is it
allowed for a woman to harm her husband in any way, not for a man to harm his wife, nor for a woman to harm her husband. And really, this is a right that is there is more matter that there is equality in it, because the prophets I said didn't mention it in regard to the woman or in regard to the man. Rather, he made it a general rule for everybody, LAO, dada, what are the wrong, no husband is allowed to harm his wife, and no wife is allowed to harm her husband. So that brings us to the end of this episode, which we've talked about, and we've completed our discussion on the obligations of the wife in response to the husband. And if you look at the way this has been structured, and I've
done my best to structure it in a way that is helpful, is that we've started off with the things in which there is equivalence, broadly speaking, some degree of equivalents, then we've gone on to the things in which there is a kind of an opposition. And then we've talked about some of the things which the husband has to do some of the things which the wife has to do. And now inshallah Allah, we're going to talk about in the next episode, problems that happen between husband and wife, and a shackle is algea. The problems that happen between husband and wife and enemy could be said, like, why did why are we dealing with this? Why are we not always talking about happy families? Because
reality is that as you know, there is no marriage that doesn't go through one or two bumps in the road from time to time, as part of the nature of Benny Adam. And so inshallah Allah in the subsequent coming up episodes, we're going to look at the problems that exist between husband and wife and how those problems can be solved. That's coming up in the next installment of this short course on the Muslim family brought to you by Maria and until then Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh Well, la wa salatu salam ala nabina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi Hv
a Salaam Alaikum. If you're enjoying these videos, and you'd like to keep up to date with all of the courses we're going to be running, make sure you head over to M au adho.com