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The Muslim Family #12 – Fear Allah in Your Marriage
Channel: Tim Humble
Series: Tim Humble - The Muslim Family
File Size: 20.38MB
Episode Transcript ©
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What are kulu filco Ronnie Naja E
to carry mouza lu wa colocar La la la de la Lu. Well Mustafa al de
leeuw al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa salatu salam ala rasulillah Nabina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi edge mine Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
As always, we begin praising Allah, asking a lie. So Joe takes up the mentioned grand peace to messenger Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam to his family and his companions, we are talking about the essence of the marriage contract. And this is before we go on to talk about her talk as though Jane the rights of the husband, the rights of the wife, and then marital discord, because we want to establish the terms and conditions if you like, what are the terms and conditions? What am I even agreeing to when I'm married? What are the what are the essence? What's the essence of this contract? How is it? How is it structured? How is it made up? And maybe many of the people watching
this video already married, but they don't they themselves might not have known They married in a customary way. You know, somebody said, I offer you my daughter in marriage, and I said, possibility I accepted it, and so on. But did they really know what they accepted? And did they really understand the basis upon which the new car is built? So we said that one of the recommended actions in the new car is the hot button. And there are three ayat that I just think they're so important to go over in the light of marriage. Now that you go over them in general in terms of hijab, but just to talk about them in the light of marriage, three ayat, there is an eye in sort of Nisa, an eye
insult earlier mind and an iron sword. So as for the ayah, in Surat, Allah in Milan, the statement of Eliza which will lead in tequila, to karate, what are termed tuna Illa. And to Muslim or you who believe and whenever the statement or you who believe comes in the Quran, this statement is intended for to to catch you to make you listen, to make you say, this is something Allah is telling me and ally sending it to the husband and the wife in terms of nootropics we're talking about a new car here, that Eliza gel is telling to the husband and the wife Yeah, you are living or you believe it. La katikati have Taqwa of Allah as he deserves. That you should have Taqwa of him.
have Taqwa of Allah to the extent that Allah deserves you to have Taqwa of him. So remind ourselves again what is taqwa? I say what it is, I'll give you a chance to pause the video and see if you can remember a good definition for a tough while linguistically and islamically have a think.
So inshallah Allah you had to think about it, linguistically talk ways to put a barrier between you and something that you are scared of give the example of smashing a glass on the floor, putting your shoes on. Another example I often give if you've ever had an X ray, you saw the X ray technician goes behind the big LED screen to protect himself or herself from the rays, the X rays that come out, that could be harmful. That is also linguistically a taqwa. Put a barrier put a shield between you and between something you're scared of. In Islam, it's the put a barrier or a shield between you between Allah punishment, his anger, his curse and the Hellfire by doing what Allah commanded and
keeping away from what a law prohibited. So that's what a marriage should be based upon. That's your that's what your that's what your marriage is based upon. That's the awesome. That's the foundation that it's built upon is a taqwa is having that taqwa of Allah, he got okati as he deserves that you have Taqwa of him
while at home or tonight in our anti muslim world and do not die except as Muslims. How can you not how can you choose in what situation you die? How can you choose? You can't choose how you die, right? Like I can't. I don't know if I'm gonna die before I finish this video after I finish this video. Before I finish this series after when I'm old when I'm young. I don't know when I'm going to die. So how can I die? as a Muslim? Very simple. Live your life as a Muslim. Because generally speaking, a llama if a person has a plus, and with the Rama of a lion, his father and his son subhanaw taala. A person will die the way that they lived.
If they lived with their son, if they lived with class, if they lived with a man be evening a mole edge and a few arola they will die in that state while at a lower end to Muslim. So the husband and the wife they live Islam and their marriage. Marriage is
built upon Islam and they live Islam in their marriage. The next is sort of neisseria yohannes with tuck Rob Bakula de Hala hakomi nefs. in WA Haider, wahala caminhada Weber Semin Houma region and casier on one is
what topple la la de has a lot to be he will our hand in Allah Cana la cumbre Kiba all mankind have tough what have your Lord second time that tuck wise we mentioned it double la Hakata party. Yeah you Hannah's it taco?
taco Rebecca, have Taqwa of your Lord, who created you from a single soul Adam, created from his wife Hawa, and from them came out all the men and women and that we talked about the very first establishment of the Muslim family in Islam was with Adam and halwa. So Allah azza wa jal reminds you to have Taqwa of Allah because how Ally's which has started that huge family, which is everyone on this earth, from Adam and how what Allah subhanaw taala can bless your marriage and bless your family and bless your offspring.
If you have Taqwa of him
what type of law the third time have Taqwa of Allah and levita aluna be the one that you ask by him. So you say, Allah Kabila, I asked you by Allah to do this. You took your wife as an Amana from Allah, the One to sell a Luna be you ask in his name, well our hand and fear Allah with regard to your relatives, the ties of kinship, Fear Allah with regard to the ties of kinship, that's one of the tipsy of the I fear Allah with regard to the ties of kinship your relatives, Fear Allah with regard to that, in the LA Cana la cumbre Kiba lies always watchful over you. Yeah, you have levena Amman to you I live in an otaku La La Kunal Colin said either you'll slip America well Phil, come on
over come with me You are a solo advisor for Aviva. This is the fourth I don't know the fourth time now time now that a light switch has said oh you who believe have Taqwa of Allah.
Yeah, you have levena am Allah tala haka, Ducati. Then in Salta, Nisa, Johan nessa Taco Bell? What taco lol Evita and whenever he was out on the fourth time, yeah, you had a lady in ermine, taco LA. have Taqwa of Allah workqueue. How will en sadita and say a statement? That is correct. And that is true. So this is the importance of being truthful in speech. And speaking what's right see what's right call or Colin said, either see what is right. And that's so important in a marriage, that the husband and the wife they speak to each other. Colin said he that they speak the truth. There's no lying, there's no betraying there's no going behind each other's back and they say what is right to
each other? failure call hiren Alia Smith let him say something good or don't say anything at all.
What will happen if you say the right thing Colin said either you see the right thing? You see what is correct and what is true. Allah subhanaw taala will do what he will correct your deeds. He will correct you are mad, he will correct your marriage can make your marriage right even if your marriage is not right. you'll select a low we'll make it right Allah will bring it back and make it right. So now
we have for lack of zonal backup and Allah will forgive your mistakes and your sins, including those things that happen in a marriage that you didn't intend.
Allah will forgive you since when you clearly learn how our soul and whoever obeys Allah and His messenger and that shows that marriage is based upon obedience to Allah and obedience to the messenger for confess our faults and alima that person has had the best success if your marriage is based upon a being a light and a being the prophets I some people talk about why is the wife or be the husband and why the children or be the wife and the mother and father and
this family unit is based upon por la wa Taurus and being a law and a being his Rasul Salatu Limassol. It is not about obedience of one person to the other. This is a side effect of structure in the family and following the commands of Allah, but it's about obedience to Allah. So a husband doesn't tell his wife to do something unless he knows this is thought to allow a title solely obedience to Allah means to the messenger. So I said, and the wife doesn't listen to the husband, except in that which is part of our Torah, Torah, Sunni, obedience to Allah and obedience to the messengers will allow you to send them along any. He does it in the right way and with the best
etiquette, but she only her concern is of being Allah and obeying her 100
As a part of a being a law, as long as what the husband says is in line with an agreement with obedience to Allah azza wa jal
and that's the true success. That's what success is really built upon. So I thought these three is just so appropriate for the topic of marriage because all of them are said in the new guys from Mr. Hubbard, and he got to sit with Roger. And, of course, we haven't mentioned the whole purpose of hajat. Now, Hamlet, Elaine earnestine. Want to start when I will be leaving shortly and fusina women see it at Malina. Me at Hillel for them will allow me to delete photo Heidi ella y shadow Allah ilaha illallah
wa shadow Anna Mohammedan Abdullah, what a pseudo Abdul solo, okay makalah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that all praises for a low he prays and we seek His help we ask his forgiveness. We seek refuge with Allah from the evil of ourselves the evil of our actions.
Whoever Allah guides there is nobody can misguide. And Allah guides the one who what, who works hard, who is sincere for a lot and tries hot and whether ally misguides because that person has preferred misguidance for themselves and turned away from Allah subhanaw taala
and saw allies which are justly and fairly and with wisdom misguides there is nobody that can bring that person to guidance for me at him in that dilemma, who is it who can guide that person after Allah? Nobody can can guide that person after our last panel tada
and we bear witness that there is no god worthy of worship Allah and Mohammed seisen is the Messenger of Allah, our lives our Deen our, our entire existence is built upon La ilaha illAllah Muhammad Rasulullah sallallahu it was with them, so shouldn't our marriage be built upon the same thing. So heat and Eman should be built upon a toe heat and should be built upon a man. And there are many other benefits we can take the issue of
war keeping away from the innovations and the things that are newly introduced into Islam Nicola with it. But Allah every bidder is a misguidance. And how many things are that you know, in terms of bidder in terms of innovation? Definitely marriage is one where it comes up marriage funerals are to where, you know, all the innovations come out. So many innovations come out so many so much harm, so much copying the non Muslims, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said unauthentic howdy mentorship, perhaps your co mean for women home whoever resembles the people is one of them resembles them in their worship in their things that are unique to them. You know, Subhanallah we
have people dressing up like Christians standing at the altar, Muslims giving vows to each other. We have Muslims behaving like Hindus to the point where the Hindu couldn't tell whether it's a Hindu marriage or a Muslim marriage except for the fact that the guy's name is Ahmed. And the woman's name is Fatima. You can't tell any difference between them, they might the same culture, the same traditions, the same dresses, the same clothing, the same behavior in their marriage. So we keep away from all of these metathetical more and will allow will give you a piece of advice I believe will lie it is appropriate to give here and I believe it's indicated by hospital hygiene. And that
is that if a couple can make their wedding day, a day of obedience to Allah, and a day that doesn't have much authority or more, doesn't have the innovations in it. Then a shout out to either their wedding will be mobarak will be blessed by the permission of allies which it will be as the word Anika which is mobile rock will be blessed by a larger live euro. If that because that day is a day where so many people compromise a woman she's worn strict hijab, on that day, law hijab, no separating between the men and the women. There are people coming in he said I'm her uncle, I'm not you know this and he she doesn't know him from Adam.
And he comes in and he's sitting with the husbands brothers feeding a cake and all kinds of Muhammad Manzil Allah will be home in salt pine, Allah never sent any authority for any of it. So if they can make that the idea of obedience to Allah and obedience to His Messenger, and if they did wrong, they make Toba and they come back to Allah and they resolve for their children's marriages. They will not get married like that. And they keep away from the innovations and the bidder. Then a shout Allahu to Allah. Allah will bless them in their marriage by his permission. subhana wa Tada. To continue. Marriage is an act we set
rockster to nikka it's a matter it's a it's a contract. And contracts have a very special place in the state of Alaska, which a las panatela said in the first is sort of murky there. Yeah. And
Over 4 billion records are held at lackland Bahama to an army Elana You are a lie you're on more Henley's side you are
in a lie kimono you read or you believe, fulfill your agreements, carry out your agreements, all of your agreements, some of the LMR they said the whole of Islam is in this ayah Oh forbidden. Everything in Islam, your agreements with Allah, your agreements, in terms of the shediac what you promise to do all of your MLS you have with people all of the data in the more I'm alert can be summarized by the statement of a lie. So jelly I levena am an old four bit report, stick to your agreements.
This is an act and you have to fulfill that agreement on both sides, the husband and the wife they have to fulfill that agreement on both sides. So it's I want to just go on to talk about this issue of conditions and agreements in the marriage contract and that these this is a contract that has to be fulfilled because I lost it. Oh for Bill record in certain Lisa is number 58. Allah azzawajal said Enola higher moral come into a duel Mr. Naughty earlier what either How come from being a nursing and technical mobile idle in no law her name Maria evil can be in Allah can SME and basura Eliza just said Allah commands you that when it comes to the AMA not. Now how do we know marriage is
in America the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, took them Amanullah in some of the generations be amanatullah you took them by a laws Amarna they became your wives by a laws a man. When it comes to the amarnath Allah commands you that you give those a minute you render the trust to the people that you're there due to. Now here marriage is an Amana, between you and Allah
in the sense that you have to fulfill that Amana before Allah, and it's in a manner in terms of the wife's family that they gave their, their daughter to you as an Amana and it's an Amana in terms of your relationship with your wife that you're responsible for her as the head of the household. You have responsibility over her, then you use that responsibility in the way that is right that's an Amana Allah commands with regard to a magnet that you return those Amana to force the way that I kept on being a nasty attack on it. And when you judge between people you judge in justice. So we said that marriage is an act and a law commands you to fulfill.
Fulfill your agreements, and marriage is an Amana and Allah azzawajal commands you that when it comes to the AMA and that you look after them and you you you fulfill them to the people that they are due to Aqua, even Robbie Allah. He said clutter Rasulullah sallallahu he was in them in a hot shot, and you will be Mr. Hillel to be helpful.
Rock Bottom and he said the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, the most deserving of all conditions for you to fulfill are those that make the private parts Allah Subhana Allah, the most deserving of conditions. So we talked Allah said it's an act Allah said Ofer will output. Allah said it's an Amana Allah said in Allah higher moral command to amend it in a hernia. And here it's a shot. It's a condition. And we know the prophets lie Selim said a Muslim owner actually wrote to him that Muslims have to fulfill the conditions they agree to and in the conditions and decide isn't party a Muslim, the most deserving of all conditions to be fulfilled are those that make the private
parts halaal ie those conditions that form a part of the kneecap. Now, that could be implicit conditions, that is the hook of xo Jane the rights of the husband and the wife and it could be the conditions that are made in addition, because one of the things that can exist in the actinic are like all marmelade there can be sure wrote a lafiya additional conditions which are added
additional conditions and not could form some of you will not have that in your marriage contracts, meaning your marriage contracts will be like the worst right vanilla you know, no nothing added just plain
contracts. And those that in that case, the short, either short or that are lies or gel and His Messenger sly Selim explained to us the basic conditions for poker, the rights of the husband and the wife, which we're going to come to, but it may be that there are conditions, it could be conditions in the contract people put certain things, the condition is such and such a condition is such and such. And that condition could come from the wife, it could come
From the husband, either could make conditions upon the other. So it is important that if these conditions are made, they are the most deserving of all conditions to be fulfilled, and the most deserving of all conditions. And that doesn't have to be always additional conditions. It can also be the inherent and implicit conditions that exists within the UK in terms of the rights of the husband, and the wife, the Amarna, that the act itself, the conduct contract itself and so on. But many people do have additional conditions in their marriage contracts. So I wanted to take a little bit of time to talk about these additional conditions. As I said, the profit slice said in a hadith
and the Hadith is in German activity. It's also a similar wording is also mentioned, I bedeviled that one from ebihara that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he said, a soul who is on beno muslimeen, in LA Sol hanhart, Rama halaal and a hella Rama will Muslim owner at ash roti, him Illa Shelton how Rama Holla Holla Holla Holla Rama the Prophet size them said making solar making and we're going to come to soil in marriage later on, like making a peaceful agreement.
This there's a word for it like a good natured agreement or making peace is permissible between the Muslims except for an agreement which makes haraam something that was halal or makes halal something that was haram and Muslims who are bound by the conditions they agree to unless it is a condition that makes haraam something halal or makes halal something haram Muslims are bound are bound by conditions when you sign the terms and conditions of a contract. I will mostly Muna eyelash rule to him You are bound by those conditions unless there is a condition that makes something halal haram or something haram halat. So it's very important that the conditions you agree to in any car you are
bound by them you have to stick to them unless there is something which makes her arm Hello, hello. Hello. This is further clarified by the Hadeeth of eyeshadow. The Allahu anhand Hadith is in poverty and Muslim. The Prophet size M said I'm just going to quote a part of it. He said Mr. Barrett, from our bad luck woman yesterday at Ornish Walton les set Viki tabula mecanim in shouting laser Viki tabula he azova Jennifer who were in Cana me at a shot, key tabula, he was shocked to LA he also had his Mahalia Muslim from the hydrafacial Viola and, and this part of the highlight that we want to quote the Prophet say some said to continue, what is the matter with some people that they put down
conditions, these conditions are not in the book of Allah. They're not in the book of Allah. Whatever condition is made to any mammal, any kind of interaction, whatever condition is made, that is not in the book of Allah azza wa jal is false, ie it is invalid. Even if it there are 100 conditions, the Book of Allah is more deserving. And the conditions of Allah are more stronger and more tightly, you're more tightly bound to them.
So here we take a number of benefits. First of all, it's not allowed for there to be any extra stipulated conditions that go against the book of Allah. And the book of Allah includes the Sunnah of the Prophet sighs I'm here because Allah azzawajal said in his book, one that I talked about rasuluh for Hulu, and movento, whatever the messenger gives you take it and whatever he commands you to stay away from prohibits you from then abstain from it. So Allah azza wa jal included the commands of the Prophet slicin within the within the commands of the Quran. In other words, they are an commands you to follow the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam. So if there is a
condition that goes against the Quran, or goes against the sin, then this condition is false hood. And likewise, if it goes against each Mark consensus, because the Prophet slicin told us that our Alma dishonor will not gather together upon falsehood. So all of these are included, there is a condition that goes against the book of Allah, or the sun, or the consensus of the Muslims. This condition is bar clearly it's invalid, even if 100 of them are written down. 100 of them are written down the book of a life more deserving. And the condition of a life Elsa and from here we can understand that when we say about condition, about the most important conditions to follow are those
that make the private parts halaal that hear from the conditions are short to law, the conditions that are laid down, they are the strongest and the most heavy and the most weighty are the conditions that Allah azza wa jal laid down, but if you make a decision
No conditions, those conditions cannot go against the book of Allah or against the Sunnah of the Prophet slice them or against that which the Muslims have unanimously agreed upon, shared Islam with me or I'm allowed to Allah. He said in a statement explaining this he said many stellata philosophy I will it be, I will here that will be our inika How will ijarah are we never a very valid time to hire the former ketubah who Allahu Allah a baddie. He said, I just translate this part he said, Whoever makes a condition in a walk, like something which is given in terms of it becomes like a charitable trust, or it freeing a slave or a gift, or a business transaction, or nikka, marriage or
renting, or an auth or anything else. They make conditions that go against what Allah has made obligatory over his servants, they go against what Allah has made obligatory over his servants. He then said, Be Hazel Teitelbaum, men will tell cachorro Allah amla Bhima now Allah Who are we now here? I'm Mr. Robbie. I will lead Mr. harana outta Hurry, Mama halala the hair the shortall bar Lila big Tifa in muslimeen fija. Me, Jamie.
He said, How does the speech such that these conditions entail
commanding something which Allah forbade or forbidding something which Allah commanded, or making halaal something Allah made hot on or making her arm something Allah made highlight these conditions about Lila, they are invalid, they are false, they are worthless by the consensus of the Muslims in every single contract. So that includes the contract of a kneecap. That includes the contract of Nikesh. So in the contract of Nika, any conditions are made, that that what that condition entails even if the wording but entailed that have done what what it entails, what it contains, is to command something a lot prohibited or bribe it's something Allah commanded or make something halal
that allow made haram or make haram what Allah made halal, these conditions are,
they are completely invalid as though they never existed in the first place. And this is a matter of edge math of consensus among the Muslims. So what have we done so far, we have, in this particular segment of the course, we've taken a look at the Act, the contract of the marriage, and we've taken a look at what that contract really is built upon and what it entails. So we're now ready inshallah to Allah in the next episode, to go on to talk about the hook or the rights of the husband and the wife, the rights that are equal, and how the family structure is based in terms of the responsibilities in the household and who is responsible for who and how the decision making process
is made, and what the rights of the spouses are. So that's our next portion a shout Allahu Allah and then after that we're going to go on to unusuals, marital discord and how we deal with it. And then he shot low to Allah we're ready to move into a whole new segment of of the course which would be to do with inshallah to Allah to do with children and raising children and the relationship between parents and children, children and parents and that's coming up in future episodes and part of this course, brought to you by a madrasa. Maria on the topic of the Muslim family. That's what allies are generally easy for me to mention and allies with journalists best was Salatu was Salam ala nabina
Muhammad while earlier wasapi edge mine
as salaam alaikum. If you're enjoying these videos, and you'd like to keep up to date with all of the courses we're going to be running, make sure you head over to am [email protected]