The Muslim Family #11 – The Most Important Contract You Will Ever Sign
Channel: Tim Humble
Series: Tim Humble - The Muslim Family
File Size: 20.75MB
Episode Transcript ©
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What are kulu filco Ronnie magia II
to carry mouza lu wa colocar La la la de la Lu while Mustafa de
leeuw and handling lillahi Rabbil alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala ala nabina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi Ah, Marina Salam alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. As always, we begin by praising Allah as the origin and we begin by asking Allah to exalt the mention of grand peace to messenger Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, to his family and his companions, we've reached the topic of the marriage contract itself, the actual act, the agreement, the terms and the conditions if you like, and like they tell you about any contract, you should always read the small print
should always read the terms and conditions. So in this episode, inshallah, we're just going to give you an overview of the Act. What are these? You know, these two people came together as a husband and wife, On what basis did they come together? What's the small print? What are the terms and conditions in the contract? That's what we're going to cover in this episode, be vanilla he'll carry. So we're gonna start by describing the fact that marriage is an act. It is an agreement, and it's a contract. And that's why it's called up to Nika. The contract of marriage and Annika the word Nick, because we covered the word zenwatch. Earlier, the word nica in the language is used for two
things. It's useful for a contract of marriage and it's also used for marital intimacy, I intimate relations between husband and wife. Both of these are called nikka. Like in the hadith of Anna's in Sahih, Muslim in which the Prophet spice himself is now Kula Shea in inland Nikesh, when he talked about a woman who is on her menses and how her husband should interact with her. He said do everything with her except Nika, I accept intimacy or an act of intimacy I intimate relations between husband and wife. So a nikka either means intimate relations or it means the actual marriage itself. And we already mentioned a brief definition there are many definitions of scholars get but
just one definition. They said okdo new faedo hellesdon Terry Cooley, minella, Rp danehill aha L, which I'm sure that it is a contract, which allows the permissibility of intimacy between the two parties, either husband and the wife with each other in the way that Islam has permitted. So it's a contract and a contract comes under
elmora monotony in Islam, right? It comes down to the topic of morality. It comes into the topic of
the interactions and agreements that we make with people. So it has terms and it has conditions. Allah subhanho wa Taala
called it an act in sort of Dakota Iowa number 237. Allah azzawajal he said, waiting for luck to hunt I mean, cobbly and tema soon our path forward to Laguna Fariba, Venice for my father. In as soon as we are for ledi ba de la codetwo Nikesh will enter fu Acropolis taqwa wallet and Seville favela. Bina come in the lobby my time and whenever
lies which has said and if you divorce them before you have touched them. I before you have been intimate with them all before you have been alone, some of the scholars said alone privately in a situation of intimacy with them. And you had declared for them their furry over their mouth.
Then give them half of what you had declared. Unless they forgive it, they let it go. They piled on it and let it go. Or the one whose hand the rock that will kneecap the act of the kneecap the kneecap contract is in and for you to for the men to let it go and give them the whole amount is closer to taqwa. And don't forget the grace that is between you and Allah is all seeing of what you do. But he I just wanted to clarify that Allah subhanaw taala he called it Dr. Tony Gar and some of the scholars of Tafseer when they came to the word octatonic and they said it means act, Annika it means the the contract of marriage and that the contract of marriage is in the hands of the man. And
that means that the man is the one who has to we're going to talk about the conditions of the contract that has to enter into it. And the man has the ability
unilaterally if that's the right word on his own. To exit that contract. As for the woman we talk about ensures talaq and hula and things like that she has the ability to exit that contract but it's not unilateral. In other words,
She can't do it by herself with the support of anybody else she needs an Imam or a judge call the someone in that position to do that for her instead, or at least to support her in doing that, the husband is in his hands octatonic at the act of Anika, the contract of Anika so Allah azza wa jal called it an act, but that's not the only thing that Allah subhanaw taala called this in the Quran, Allah subhanaw taala and certainly saya number 21. He said okay, Fatah, Luna, who are called f bar that will come in about 100 nam income, Misa con Gali avadh. How can you take it back either from them when you have been intimate with one another, and you have taken or they have taken from you,
me, Sal Khan Valley have a weighty covenant, a weighty covenant. So Allah called it an act worked at Nika, and a law called it and Misa a covenant. So a covenant seems like I've got some some serious things I've agreed to await he promised, I promised, you know, like, you know, I mean, the Christians get married, and they have that whole thing like they say, to have and to hold and to cherish and all that stuff until death do us part and whatever. Like,
a covenant is like that, right? It's like you've made a promise that is more than a promise. It's more than a contract. It's a covenant. You've taken something on board as an Amana as a responsibility. And you've pledged a pledge and mythique that you are going to stick to that responsibility. So what is this pledge that you had agreed to what is this covenant? What is this thing that you said that you are going to stick to no matter what? In Nigeria, he mentioned a number of different opinions, imagery of poverty, Primal love to Allah, the great scholar of Tafseer, the Imam of the scholars of Tafseer, and God, poverty. One of the opinions he mentioned, it is encircled
by Mr. Wolf LTC home, yes. And
that the pledge the Muslim makes his whole to have and to hold until death do us part and all that stuff. That's not what the Muslim pledges, that's not the misac of the Muslim, the mythos of the Muslim is emcell can be maroof.
Either, I will keep that lady in the best possible way, what I will let her go in a beautiful and excellent way. Meaning if she stays with me, I will treat her with my roof in a good way. And my wife can also be in a way that is, she would expect from me that people would expect from me, I can also imagine Ruth can have two meanings it can be good morning, Bill Maher off you command that which is good. And it can also be a lot of that which is customary, and and that which is expected. So I will when I keep her with me, I'm going to keep her in a way that is good. And if I ever let her go, I'm going to let her go with San in an even better way than she would expect from me.
Because sometimes marriages break apart, happens. Sometimes marriages break apart and divorce is not something in Islam that is haram. Absolutely in an absolute sense. Or that at the end of the day, sometimes marriages break apart, but the husband he pledges his mythique is when I keep you I'm going to keep you in the best way. And if I let you go, I'm going to let you go with his son in the kindest, most excellent way that exceeds the expectations. Some of them said the mythique is the act itself. Some of them said even God you mentioned an act, that he can itself that he makes them he thought is the act of the Nika where he says I accept and he takes her as a wife that that's the
mythique and some of them mentioned that it is 100 to 1pm and Allah was the hello to him for Roger furuya gonna be Kelly Mattila. We had mentioned this hadith that the prophet SAW some had mentioned in the in the hook by that he gave one of the top one of the hoods that he gave in the farewell Hajj that he says you have taken those women as a responsibility from Allah as an Amana in the sight of Allah and their private parts have become halaal for you, by the words of Allah I obey the commands of Allah the words of Allah that were revealed in the Quran, the statement of Allah the speech of Allah in the Quran, and what the prophets why some conveyed from Allah in the sooner that has made
marriage permissible between the husband and the wife and made intimacy permissible between the husband and the wife. You've taken them with the Amana. They said the mythique is that the husband says, I take you as an Amana in the sight of Allah. That's a very weighty mythos. And Holly Eva is a heavy oath to swear the husband to say, I have taken you as a wife as an adult.
Mine from Allah, I've taken you as an Amana from Allah. That's one of the opinions that even though God he mentioned and at the end of the day, there is no reason why all of these opinions cannot be taken. So the husband is not you know, we have any of this to have and to hold and to love him to whatever cherish until death do us part and whatever else the Christians say, our mess up our covenant is that we if we keep our wife as a wife, we're gonna keep her bill marital in the best possible way. And if we let her go, we're gonna let her go in the best possible way. We agree to the conditions of the new guy and the rights that are implied by it. And we have taken her as an Amana
in the sight of Allah. That's what it means when we say me Falcon kaliba awaited covenant in the sight of Allah, because not in a manner from you know, Amador Mohammed is not even an Amanda from her father. It's in a manner from Allah azza wa jal and that's enough to make any man any mind scared as for this,
keeping her in a good way, this is found in sortly bacara in a number 229 of tala Kumar Ratan for himself and beam are often ltsp on Piazza, Eliza which has said divorces two times this is within the items total Baccarat talk about divorce. Either you keep her in a good way, Bill maroof in the best way, and in a way that is, you know, according to the earth, according to the custom and expectations, or you let her go in the best of ways with S and with the kindest of ways you let her go. So that's the reference for the statement that was mentioned by Immanuel jarier Rahim Allah to Allah from a number of the self with regard to what the meaning is me Falcon highly evolved me
also in sort of Nisa
alized ritual, he said, Why should I build my roof for inquiry to mohana fossa and Takahashi and we ajala la houfy hyaluron tesira Alliance, which has at the end of the ayah
will actually ruhuna the mouth. Live with your wives bill now. And again, Bill my roof it can mean with good live with them in a good way. Or it can be live with them in accordance to what the expectations are. And the norms are.
And some of the scholars said this is the most
generic and general and comprehensive description of how a man has to be in the marriage contract in the marriage with his wife, well as your mouth. Everything that is said about how a husband behaves towards his wife can be summarized by the statement of a lower ashy, ruhuna bill mouth, live together with them in the best way, live with them in the best way. That's what the husband has to do. That's what he's doing when he that's what he's taking on board that is a man that he's taken on board in the sight of Allah and that all of the rights of the wife can be summarized, why should that be mouth, live with them in the best way. And in a way that is, again, we said according to
what the customs, the norms, and the expectations are. And if you dislike them, then perhaps you dislike something and a lot puts in a great deal of good. And how many times is that true that a person dislikes something and thinks it's not good for them. But Allah puts in a great deal of good and we mentioned a Heidi's earlier on regarding one of the female companions. And she was she had asked the prophets I said when he said Inca Hill Cemetery marry Osama bin Zayed Ravi Allahu anhu, may Allah be pleased with them all. And she said, I didn't you know, I didn't like it. I didn't. I wasn't happy with it. And then the Prophet size and told her to obey. And she married him and she
said a lot put in it higher or a lot put in, it's so much good for me. So in terms of this contract, how does this contract work? Well, this contract has pillars has our can. And our can are the things which if you don't have them, the contract doesn't exist at all. It's completely false from its, you know, from the from the bottom, from the base of the foundation of is false. It has to have three essential things for this contract to be. The first is wardrobe. So Jean below
that, and I'm just making this summarize, instead of bringing you the whole definition, just summarize it, that you have the two spouses without any Islamic reason why they can't get married. What would be an Islamic reason why they can't get married.
Cofer, for example, disbelief, that one of them was a disbeliever.
Alarm unless the exception of marrying the Qatar via the woman from Al Kitab. And that is something that we're not going to dwell on too much here, I will just simply say that I would not advise it this time, unless it is a necessity for a person. Because the situation is that there's a lot of issues over children, there's a lot of issues over divorce. There's a lot of issues that so many things with marrying the caveat. And it's better for a man to marry a Muslim woman rather than look into the key tabea. But it could be necessary for some people like to revert who accepted Islam and his wife is still Christian, he can stay married to her, for example, that might be something to
think about. But generally corporate is one of them.
That that the husband is not a Muslim, or the wife is not a Muslim. As I said, with the exception of Al Khattab for the husband, Muslim husband who marries Ecotopia a wife who is a Jew or a Christian.
For example, nessa could be a man, like there could be some relation between them that makes them that that means that they can't get married.
Like the close family members that can't marry and things like that Mahara. Mia could be a ammonia, like there could be a Muharram for one another, so they can't marry. That's not only down to blood ties, it could be other reasons. And also ties of breastfeeding as well, because breastfeeding establishes the same ties that the blood ties that are established by blood. So therefore, it could be that the that those are all different reasons why the couple can't get married. And if those reasons are uncovered later on the marriage is instantly invalid. So someone comes and says, I didn't realize I married a woman. And I didn't realize that
her an eye or that that she and I had been fed a breastfed by the same woman. We didn't know that.
Instantly the marriage is invalidated. And likewise, Kufa and new races. Well, how could a woman not know that her husband was not a Muslim? But it can happen. And I've seen personally seen cases like this, where the woman married and the husband said, Yeah, Muslim, and maybe the well, he didn't really check it out as much as he should have done. And he said, Yeah, I'm gonna convert and whatever. And when you speak to him, he says, No, I won't have anything to do with Islam. I just said that to become Muslim. I just said that for the sake of, you know, converting. So here, you talk to him, you give him a chance to understand Islam, you tell him, but if he continues to say,
I'm not a Muslim, and I just said it for the sake of getting married, then this marriage is not valid. So you've got to have two spouses that are compatible with each other.
You have to have a job and a couple, you have to have
a job, which is the offering. And the offering is made by the wellI of the bright, and we see the Well, usually the well he is the father in almost all situations. But there are some situations if her father is not a Muslim, perhaps he passed away where there might be another way. So the wellI of the bride, the guardian of the bride offers her in marriage to her, her future husband, he says, For example, I offer you. So my daughter saw and saw in marriage, I offer you my daughter saw and saw in marriage. And the third pillar is that the husband says the husband to be the groom, he says, I accept, he says, I accept or accept your offer, and so on, or words to that effect. So those are the
three sort of pillars that it's based upon. As for conditions, that things that have to be in place, it has to be clear who the two spouses are, you know, it can't be anything like I married you to my daughter, and he's got four daughters that are unmarried. So we don't know which of the four is married to. And so Paula, in some cultures, this happens. I personally never come across anything like this, but I've seen cultures where it is the case that a man thinks he's marrying one daughter, and on the wedding day, he found out that he married another daughter, the other daughter. So he there is no tie in so Jane that the husband spouses are not known. Or I marry you to, you know,
alpha is alpha furlan who is he you know, which one where, you know, like so on Falange or whatever it is, you know, like so the HUD the husband, the wife, they're not and it's not clear who the two of them are, like I offer you and there's like four people standing there and he says that offer you know, it has to be clear who is the husband, who is the wife, whatever we make them clear, you know dimension their full name or either you know, there's only two of them then it's point to one on the other. It's it's got to be clear who the two spouses
another condition is Reba zoji the two spouses must be content to marry. There's no such thing as forced marriages. In Islam we don't have forced marriages in Islam we haven't had forced marriages. The Prophet sighs lm an old them from the beginning. And that's a big misconception about Islam and in Bukhari Muslim from the hadith of Abu hurayrah and then also loss of Allah Why do Salah mokai let him tell me where to start more while our tune will be crew hashtag to steden Kalia Rasul Allah y k for his new
pilot and test could
be very underrated from the Messenger of Allah. So I sent him that he said that the previously married woman should not be married again, as in should not have her marriage contract done again, until she commands for it. She She says for it to happen, nor should the virgin girl have her marriage done, unless her permission is sought. They said, O Messenger of Allah, How is her permission sought? He said that she is silent, meaning that she doesn't say no. The father comes and says that I've decided or that we've agreed Finally, with the husband and whatever the groom, that this is going to be the marriage. Are you content with that you're happy to go ahead, either she
says yes, she remains silent. But she doesn't say no or she doesn't say that I'm not happy. I don't want to marry that person. And we have an example of this. And it is narrated in the merger. Suddenly the merger and barreda net has labeled the alarm and call jet fighter to be sold a lot more it was selling for call it in a visa wedge NF E. Li B. hussy setter.
She said or Breda. He said well, the alarm handler, a young girl, young woman, she came to the Prophet sighs so much she said, My father has married me off to my cousin to raise his status. I against my Willies forced me to marry my cousin against my will for jerilyn m La La her the pilot had to adjust to masana Abby, what I can add to anti lemon Nisa, and Lisa lol, II mean an M Rishi.
She said, all the prophet SAW Selim, he gave her a choice. And this is live from the wisdom of Islam. It's so beautiful. She got married, she was forced to marry, the Prophet says, and then dissolve the marriage and say, Okay, I see now you're divorced. Now, not only did you get forced into marriage, also a divorce, you got forced into marriage and your divorce, he gave a choice, what do you want to do? Do you want to if you want to stay with that man, you can stay with him. And if you want to divorce him, I can break up the marriage. She said, I am okay with what my dad did. I've allowed what my dad did. But I wanted the women to know that fathers don't have a right to do this
thing. That's as roughly as I can translate that fathers don't have control the matter is not in their hands. It's not their Matic that they have the right to decide. So it's a beautiful Hadith explaining that you have to have both the husband and the wife have to be happy. And if it's the case that the wife is not happy, or the the the bride is not happy, and she's forced into it without her permission, then in this case, she has a choice either to stay in the marriage or either to leave the marriage and it's entirely up to her. The next condition that we have is the presence of the welly. And as we said the wellI generally speaking, will also Aslan is the father does that the
Father has the right to give his daughter away in marriage. However, there are times when it might not be the father, the father passed away or the Father has some reason why he can't be the welly. Like, for example, he's not a Muslim.
And of course, it's not allowed for a non Muslim to have authority over a Muslim is not allowed for a non Muslim father, to decide for his daughter or to give his daughter away in marriage, because that's a kind of authority. And it's not allowed for him as a non Muslim to have that authority over his daughter who is a Muslim. So the wellI usually is the Father. In some cases, it might be another relative in some cases, it might be the Muslim judge or the Muslim Imam. It could be that's in different cases. But this also this issue of just randomly choosing a wedding is not something praiseworthy, like some of the reverse sisters. And they just say like, I just choose my wedding.
That's not the way the way it works. The way he is the father. If the father is not suitable, then it goes to the quality to the judge and the judge chooses who the wedding should be either he takes himself or either he appoints your brother, your
you know your uncle, Phil and the owner of this place the Yanni the Imam of the masjid, he will apply
Somebody it's not for the woman to say I've chosen this guy is that well yeah and then the next the only two weeks later she marries him as this is like folder is complete chaos this issue of choosing the wedding. So the Prophet size him he said a human a human right?
because he is new well he has a funny car who has about 11 funny car How about a loan funny car How about
he said whichever woman she marries without the permission of her welly her new car is bolted is completely
in invalid. And you guys invalid her Nika is invalid. And the Hadith is narrated in jammy activity, and in other places with different wordings.
It's also a requirement for the contract to have two witnesses. And that's because the prophets said in the Heidi Pavani landecker, hacky, lebu alien or shahidi, there is no Nika, except with the weli. And two witnesses, those two witnesses, obviously, two male Muslim witnesses above the age of puberty, who are people of religion, and people of honor, and any who are interested in their witness. And also, and some of the scholars made this a condition and it's safer to make it a condition. And even though some of the scholars didn't say it's a condition, like it's, it's safer to consider this, at least highly recommended, if not a condition is a statement of the profit
slice. And Eileen Meeker announced the marriage and that it was never meant to announce the marriage. In other words, that the marriage isn't done in secret. I share Islam on Tamia, I'm allowed to Allah, he considers to be so important that it can even come above the shading above the two witnesses. Because at the end of the day, if you announce it then takes the place of that. But here, I think that we bring all of them together, we bring the two witnesses, and we announced the marriage and it's safer to consider that condition or a highly highly recommended action that should not be there should not be gone aside from alarm unless the person is unable to announce it I
because they are they got married, let's say on a journey. And they were not able to announce it to everybody. But this idea of secret marriages. And this guy's been married to him for 10 years. Nobody knows that he married had a lion, but he is not appropriate. And in the opinion of some of the LMR. For me, it puts a great doubt upon the validity of the marriage, or at least it's extremely, extremely dislike for a person to do that. So I consider this to be very serious that the airline should be done, the kneecap should be announced. Now some people might be asking about the mountain as for the Maha Maha is not the necessarily part of the conditions meaning if the Maha is
not mentioned and you guys still valid and the Maha just becomes the Mahara, which is normal or customary for a woman of that status in that kind of place. But Eliza which has said what are two nissa asado party him Daniella, fen Clyburn Allah Comanche min Hoon f sampha, Kuru honey and Maria sorta Nisa. Number four. Give the women their mouth there's their subtle color Ducati in their sadhak their Maha Nicola for inclement Allah and if they are happy with if they are happy to give you some are they happy to share some spend some on something for you, with Cleburne neffs any like they're totally like content, it's not forced. It's not like pushed for them. And they said yeah,
like they had some of them Haha, and they gave it to the help the husband with something, then the husband is allowed to take it honey America without any concerns or any worries. So that is the obligation of giving them out. But it's not a condition of the kneecap, meaning if it's not given, it just goes to mouth and misses. It just goes to the heart of what is customary for a woman of that kind of status in that kind of place.
As for the things that are recommended in the contract, then we have the hookah alhaja and that is something that I would like to take in the next episode inshallah to Allah to go through with you and translate and take some of the benefits from because that hot button Hydra has a lot of benefits in it as it relates to the Nika and we can look at it from the point of view of the Nika inshallah Allah that's coming up in the next episode, and that's what allowed it easy for me to mention. And Allah knows best or Salatu was Salam ala nabina Muhammad wanna add your side pH May,
a Salaam Alaikum. If you're enjoying these videos, and you'd like to keep up to date with all of the courses we're going to be running, make sure you head over to M au adho.com