Boycotting your brother in Islam during Ramadan #844

Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa Salaam Alaikum and welcome to the deen Show. I'm your host, and we have a very important special topic that we're gonna be talking about is Ramadan. And we're with our

esteemed guest Dr. adad How are you?

I'm good Alhamdulillah Mashallah, how are you? How is your Ramadan? Is Good going good 100 and how was your? How was your Ramadan?

Excellent, excellent, so Han Allah, one of the best Ramadan and by the way to Allah I don't know for whatever reason, so many brothers and sisters they confirm that this Ramadan is maybe better than all the previous Ramadan which is really hamdulillah very good news. Mashallah. So tell us for the for the audience, I didn't get a chance to read your bio. But I mean, for those that don't know you. So you have you're someone who actually tell us fill us in. I mean, you have like student a knowledge check. You have Mufti accardi. You're kind of like a judge, right? You're at that level where you, you know, judge a lot of matters between family disputes, marital disputes. So what's

your official title?

Well, see, well, the issue of title is very subjective. And inshallah maybe sometime in outside Ramadan, we can talk about this, because in Ramadan, yianni is better that we focus on the main issues. And in order to give more time for a better Yeah, so the only reason we ask is because the advice that you're going to give you know, sometimes it's important, some people like well, who is this guy to give me advice? You know what I'm saying? You ever hear? Come on, man.

Don't worry about that. They will say, Okay,

I'm here to preserve you protect you. Before we get into the main topic, we talked we want to talk about because it's a sad, but realistic thing that's happening. You were addressing that I was listening, we were listening to a talk you were giving last week, I believe, and you talked about

brothers actually, who are fasting, you gave an example family members and wasting their fast because they haven't been on speaking terms for so many years. So that's the topic we're gonna be talking about boycotting family members cutting ties of kinship, especially now because we don't lose our fast and our good deeds. law here we see in the West. Examples I am warning the young people. Yeah. And not only the young people, the old people from this grave sin, which is what, which is cutting the ties of kinship and say, so many people are looking for solutions. They have depression, they have anxiety, they have other mental illnesses, a check in the life, you will see

that they are not maintaining the ties of kinship, and SubhanAllah. Well, I hate to date today. Yeah, but Hamza, today, a sister rang me and she was complaining to me about her brother, who is above 5050 years of age and the way he is treating his father who is suffering from dementia. Yeah. Now, I said to her one of the things that I said to her, tell him that your father will pass away, you will become old.

Allah, Allah, Allah as the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, will punish you in the dunya before the algebra and will send upon you those who will humiliate you. Yeah. As a result of being worked. I'm grateful to your father. Yeah. So I am wanting every single one, again as to what again is the break of the ties of the the ties of kinship and look, look, see. When Allah Allah, Allah created in the Hadith, when Allah Allah, Allah created the creation. What happened? The Salah Torah had the ties of kinship, it stood and said, The Allah, Ya Allah, we are appealing to you. And then Allah, Allah, Allah said, What do you want? Yeah.

The Rahim the ties of kinship, Surya, Allah, Allah I seek refuge in You from those who cut me off. So Allah, Allah, Allah said, Okay, I will please you. I will look after those who look after you. And I will cut off those who cut you off.

Brothers and sisters, you will not have a successful life. A if you impart tickler

may cut the ties of kinship in particular to your parents.

With your parents, let me say that again. Maybe you can, yeah, brothers and sisters, you will never be successful in your life whatsoever. If you don't maintain the ties of kinship, especially to your own parents, you know, Subhan Allah recently, recently, one brother attended a course with one of the big organization, we are not the only, maybe it's not good to mention their name, because they want to keep everything confidential. And every year they train

over, I think 200 or something 1000 people around the world, you know, in the first day of the training, these are non Muslims. None kind of Christians. This is just simple coaching. Yeah.

The first day, they are asking the students to do what

to call their parents and to fix their relationship with their parents.

And non Muslims, non Muslims.

Part of their training, exactly part of the training, and this is the first thing they do in their training. And then we see some how our D, yeah, our Dean, a, our Dean is encouraging us to do this, simply. So Allah Allah, Allah took upon himself that he will look after those who will maintain the ties of kinship, uphold the ties of kinship, and cut off those who cut the ties of kinship. And then the Prophet sallallahu Sallam recited the ayat. The hell as item in our later man. Oopsie do Hill all the way to octo ohana qumola, aka larina, la norma LA, the Asana home, were absorbed are so strong, so strong, the translation of this, if you go away, turn away from my guidance, what will

happen? Yeah, you will work you will cut the ties of kinship. And as a result of this, number one, the curse of Allah, Allah Allah will happen to you. Number two, Allah Allah, Allah will turn you to be what to be deaf. And then number three, you will not see the truth. You will not find a happy person.

I challenge you, I you don't find a happy person that he is rude to his parents in particular.

Let me let me ask you, Shay, I'm going to get a bunch of questions as before we conclude. Cuz we're limited on time. Can you just let's start off with that story. And then I'll jump in, I want I want to get some of your feedback on some is from the Quran, and some Hadith that are revolving around this topic, if you can tell us are they authentic? and also your comments on the Hadith that are related to this. But let's start off with the story that you mentioned, just real quickly, the story of us getting into Ramadan, and then you had these brothers, that story that you were narrating It was really touching.

Yeah, so this is actually this is a true case. We had it just before the end of Ramadan. And it was really this is amazing. This is

a brother he brought his father in law. Yeah.

See, the brother brought his father in law to me. Because what he wants me to speak to his father in law regarding the importance of what maintaining the ties of kinship and to start to talk to his brothers for the last 15 years, he did not speak to them and they are living all of them are living in the UK forget about even living in the UK, even if they live abroad now, okay, we can you are in America and I am in the in London and we are communicating. Yeah. So that is not an execute for 15 years, and see what I cannot believe until now. Although the father is the one who told me that the father told me that his son, he went away of the deal. He is living in London, and he has not been

in his father's house. For how long?

for 20 years.

Can you imagine? Now are you telling me that this person will be a successful person in his life? Well ah he never never, ever, never, ever

But, and this person, he now maybe he is in his 40s Okay, later on, he will become on his 70s and he will die. I don't want to use the word like maybe any even a dog in the West will be you know, someone will look after it he will die like I don't know. Yeah. And no one will look after him Why? Because he was not looking after his father.

So, let us let us be practical. I want all the brothers and sisters who are listening now this is live Yeah.

It is not like is recorded. Okay. Right. Okay, I want all the brothers and sisters who are listening get out. I want them what? To go immediately and to fix their relationship with their parents. And the first thing they need to do is what? Call your mom and call your dad and fix your relationship with them. This is the first step towards work towards real happiness, contentment and success. How do you deal with before I get into the aisles of Quran and the Hadith? How do you deal with excuses because everybody has some kind of reason justification. The person will say, Look, my father never told me he loved me. He's not the father that I saw on the TV shows. What do you say to those?

excuses?

Yeah, executed. See.

And then and then and then and then assign assign some will even say, you know, I'm ready to go in front of the court of a law because of these excuses. I'm ready to go. Yeah, yeah. See, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam says they shall wasu bill McAfee. The reason for us commanded to be kind to our parents is not because they looked after us see,

if there is a father here or a mother,

they had a child and the child was brought up by someone else. He was taken by social services or was maybe the father abandoned him or the mother abandoned their chocolates as imagined. And then later on, yeah, the for the child came to know about his mother or father.

He must

he must look after them.

Yeah, even if they abandoned him, even if they did not care for him being even for one single day because it is not reciprocal. Yeah, it is not. They paid me I pay them back. No, it is because they gave birth to you. And the reason for you to exist on this earth is them full stop. This meaning Unfortunately, many speakers many shoe they are not focusing on it. And that's why we see righteous people who may be not in touch with their parents. And I say to them, how long How long? How long? Yeah, and here in the West, if you only you, if your father abused you or whatever, then hallas is not your father anymore. No, no, this is wrong. Yes. Say in the Quran. When Allah Allah Allah Allah

says Waka barakallahu li Yaga Dania, Santa has alleged Allah Allah mentioned, if they took care of you know, when Allah Allah, Allah also says, Yeah, we're finally in Santa viola, a person hemella, tomo. 100. Allah one.

Yeah. What do you say to who? FEMA or the other is hemella Tomoko Cora, Cora, Allah, Allah, Allah linked the ruling, or the rights of parents and the rights of mother for example, for one

one reason, which is what? That she bought him and her tummy. And then she gave birth to him. That's all. Yeah. And then Allah gave more right? Once because he has breast fed him. But just by being his mother or her mother, this is more than enough by being his father or her father. This is enough for the parent to have their rights upon you. No excuses, no excuses. And on the other side, I would like to say to you brothers and sisters, that

If you know that, if your parents were not nice to you, they were, you know,

they were abusing you whatever.

Once you will look after them will lie their reward will be doubled. Because now you are doing it for the sake of Allah Allah. And not only that Allah, Allah, Allah will give you the best in your children. So you are the first one to benefit, you are the first one to benefit. However, if you don't look after them, you are the first loser in this life and in the Hereafter. Recently, I came across a book, Yanni in Arabic, by I hate my father. And in that book, it says that say you hate him or you don't hate him. And he went through some end some issues maybe that child, as you said, his father never told him I love you, etc. But he said, one of the key strong points at the end of the

day, you need to look after your father for your own success. And when children and they say, I am not moving on in my life a check, you will find that they have very bad relationship with their parents.

And see, I would like to say, yeah, let me be honest, because I mixed with young people speak to them a lot. Let me be honest, many young people, they what they use excuses for their own failure. They put it on their parents. Yeah. And I don't know whether I have mentioned this are not one time I was approached by a young person. And he told me Yeah, I want to, you know, have a private chat with me or with you. Okay. He said, I am a failing person. Okay, Habibi. Why are you failing?

He said, because I remember was, I remember once that my father was telling my mother that this child is failing.

I said, and then you became, yeah. Failing person because of this.

Yeah. He said, Well, yeah. I said Habibi, you are fooling yourself. You are failing because you want to fail, not because of your father. Forget about your father. I am sure he wanted the best for you. Yeah. You might say there are exceptions. Of course, only children and they say that there are exceptions. Yeah, but I am sure he wants the best for you.

But imagine that he was not like this.

What what you need to move on,

you need to move on, you cannot get stuck. If you get stuck, you will harm yourself. And by the way, might be one time, we need to speak about this issue of one of the main reasons for mental illnesses, which is what living in the past.

One of the Can you repeat that? So one of the main causes? This is very, very profound statement you just made. So one of the profound one of the key reasons for mental illness could be

living in the past, living in the past if the key if not vecchie. Reason for many mental illness.

Yeah, it's the key. Yes. Is what you think in the past. What does living in the past, you know, that's why the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says, Yeah, be careful of what had I done? Yeah. That either.

Yanni had I done this, I've done this either. And this time, lol sorry, final test that Emily shared, but had I done this, it will open what the doors for the shape on and most of the people who are going through mental illnesses that I have seen. And by the way, I speak to any number of

psychologists and psychiatrists frequently because my work as a share has a Mufti as whatever, a counselor inand etc. I give a lot of counseling. So I take help from them. Now I am dealing with one of Yanni you can say relatives and he is going through very bad depression. And the key reason for him to go through this is what

living in the past, regretting for something that as what that has been done.

Tell me shake so now we have I got a bunch of questions here. So we have so many ideas. For example, in the crowd. Let's talk

So we talked about family and then now you have siblings you know and and this can be something you know for for my children for you know there's children's you leave behind something good that they can come back to and and hopefully you know reflect over because you have a lot of the breakdown of the family because of the sibling rivalry and the boycotting of when I say brothers I'll say also this is including sister and sister brother and brother, but then some of these eyes and you can tell us what do we take from it? One Two believers are nothing else but brothers in in the deen. So make reconciliation between your brothers. And then another idea and fear God Allah through whom you

demand your mutual rights and do not cut off the ties of the kinship. Again another I have fear Allah and reconcile the bonds that have been broken between you so they go on and on from the Quran. And then you have this hadith mentioned there's two versions of a shear. Can you tell us the other one one is in Bahati where it says do not desert one another? Do not Do not nurse hatred towards one another Do not be jealous of one another and become fellow brothers and slaves of Allah. It is not lawful for Muslim to stop talking to his brother for more than three days. This is a Muslim but is this one authentic? Also it's an Abu Dawood we don't hear this one it says it's not lawful for most

of the forsake his brother for more than three days and whoever does so for more than three days and then dies on it was certainly enter the hellfire.

So what's your thought? When when you? Yeah, see, I actually I want I wanted to go to this Heidi brothers weather this the last part of the video, it's authentic or it is weak. But Yanni we cannot confirm, but the general meaning is there. See if the Prophet salallahu alaihe salam is talking about this are talking about to those who are just not blood brothers?

Yeah.

It is not allowed. Yeah. For a Muslim to boycott his brother, and Islam. For what? More than three days? What about your own blood brother?

Yeah, that's why this is a major sin. And that's why maybe this narration that if the person dies like this, he deserves the fire of hell, because he is dying on a major sin. But someone will say shave, but someone will say Hold on, he needs time, you know, or she needs time and they'll say, Okay, he's needs to get himself together. So six months will pass seven months will pass. And then they're just leave the person alone. How do you respond? I mean, what's the right approach then? Yeah, these are just excuses. And now, so many people, whenever you tell them something, yeah, they always use this excuse. Brother. Why don't you pray? I need time. Dave. Okay. I'm sure 10 years ago,

someone told you why don't you pray? And you said you need time? Yes or no? Subhan Allah.

Yeah, yes. They are the they are what using an excusive? This is when our number one number two, what about you? What about if you die before the time comes? Are you sure? give me any confirmation that you are going to live? And then I will give you what? I will give you a time. Yeah, this is number two. Number three, thou shalt upon more likely will make more hated. Yeah, the hatred will increase. So you need to cut the way. Yeah, of the show pan and then go directly. That's why Allah, Allah, Allah, the prophet as well. I mean, one of veneration, he said, he yelled

at me, and this one turns away and the other one turns away. What did the Prophet sallallahu Sallam say?

The best of them is the one who What? Yeah, but that will be set up. The one, the first one to start the Salah, one of the companions, went to the processor, and he said, I have some relatives, and I maintain the ties of kinship dogs, they cut it, I maintained a cot, I maintain a cot. Yeah. So yeah, rasulillah What shall I do? He said, No, you need to continue to do that the meaning of what the prophet SAW Selim said, Because you are actually feeding them with what with that with the call? Yeah. To say for me, Mel. Yeah. So and you brothers and sisters, were lucky when the person is on that bed. Yeah, he will regulate so many things. And he will say, Oh, please call my brother. Call

my sister. Let them Forgive me. I want to do this and that. Okay. Another important point, which is you

Your children. Yeah, brothers sisters Wake up, wake up, please. Your children will copy the way you were what? It reading your own brothers and sisters. So don't see don't say that are my children and now there are very nice with each other, etc. Yeah. Now once you die, they will remember how you used to treat your brothers and sisters, whether you were tolerant, whether you were maintaining the ties of kinship, visiting them, loving them, showing respect, tolerating forgiving them, etc, they will do the same

as us. And and say, we have we have example of parents telling their children Oh, look, your uncle is this and that and either your auntie is this and that so many people are doing this.

Your children will do the same thing to each other once you pass away.

This is life.

Yeah, change. So what's your the person do the one who is trying to on the receiving end, the person doesn't want to fall into this major sin is haraam. So the person is trying to reconcile with their brother or sister they're trying their best, but every time now they're getting resistance. Family members are also saying just leave it alone. What should that person do? Are they absorbed? What do they do?

No, they should continue to stop. Simple, but how what? Like how, how should they continue like way? Different ways? They try different ways. Sometimes by sending gifts, sometimes by sending color, sometimes by quoting sometimes by visiting, sometimes send your children. Yeah.

Because if I have something with my wife or my brother, I should not let my children and boy cut him. He should not let his children boycott me. I said my I should send my children I should teach them no respect your uncle, respect to your cousin. Make sure that you you communicate with them.

Yeah, this is the way and see let us not think that people are evil. When I keep trying at the other side, their hearts will be soft and one time there will be soft. Now is there in a situation where some people will say okay, now they'll start to use the psychiatry of this time psychology. So is there is there things that we'll take from it, but then when it conflicts like a person will justify, okay, a person has boundaries, respect their boundaries, so they'll quote now they'll quote psychologists, psychiatrists, and psychologists and whatnot in this matter. So then what do you do? Like you have Dean here? And then you have over here? I know. Yeah, exactly. That's why, you know,

we sometimes there are major conflicts. And you know, although I am a person who likes psychology a lot, and I read in it, but we need Islamic psychology. Because sometimes, you know, the non Islamic psychology can be harmful. I'll give you an example. Okay, now, psychiatry's, they like labeling people.

Yeah, you go to and they say oh, you have very bad, very bad depression. And once the person is this, what will happen? He will internalize this.

Yeah, and once the person internalizes this, he will use this as an excuse or he will use this as excuses for so many things. And we have seen that Okay, why don't you do this? I am I have depression the other day about fasting? Yeah, well, she has anxiety. And if she fast Yanni, then yeah, but but is this is it really? Okay. Well, yeah, she has anxiety

either either. OCD. Yeah. Other problems by what their problems will be. The person will internalize them, will it be embedding them? Once the person

is labeled like this? That's why

from an Islamic perspective, from an Islamic perspective, it focus it doesn't focus on labels. It focuses on what actions Yeah, because yeah, this action is wrong. I can get rid of it. But if I am a classified as a depressed person, either

If I can do things correctly, no, I am depressed.

Yeah, so I will act accordingly.

That makes a lot of sense tell us shake another Hadith where the prophet SAW some is talking about that the deeds of Allah, this is in Muslim are presented to Allah on Mondays and Thursdays and then every slave of law is granted forgiveness. He does not associate anything partners with a law in worship, but except the person who's now can you go and finish this and tell us what this hadith is talking about?

Is that cool? Okay, actually, I don't know I did not mention it when I was. The Prophet sallallahu Sallam said that the deeds will be raised to Allah, Allah Allah on Mondays and Thursdays. And as we know that when the prophets are cinema's fasting Mondays a lot he was asked and he said, this is a day that needs to go are raised to Allah, Allah, Allah and I like my deeds to be raised to Allah, Allah, Allah when I am fasting. In this narration, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said that Allah Allah Allah will give will forgive those who did not commit any kind of share. bought those who have what? boycott each other. And these are not the brothers the blood brothers. No, these are not the

relatives. No, they are Who? Yeah, the normal people.

Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah will say, No, no, no, don't forgive them until they re consult Subhan Allah. So your deeds are you technically Are you tackling your prayer, your fasting right in Ramadan? If you're like, is it technically you'd like almost sabotaging your deeds? Because you're boycotting your brother, your sister? Exactly, exactly. That's why we are Yanni. That's why I am a bit emotional about this thing I want brothers and sisters to wake up is not an easy issue is not an easy issue. This is what these are, again, not your blood brothers, but they are just Muslims.

Yeah, well, what if it's now so you're saying it's even more severe if these are blood? Brothers, sisters?

Of course, of course, if there are relatives, what about your parents? And that's why what about Shame, shame. What about but now the excuses come in. Now the sister the brother says that he wronged me via B. And, you know, when I was young, he hit me or he, you know, did this did that and the list of excuses start to come up? What about that? Is there justification there? Yeah, all of these are excuses. That maintaining the ties of kinship with him is something you see from an Islam Islam is a very, really any realistic way. I'd say is that well, this is something and this is something else. This person committed this mistake, it doesn't mean that we what shut him off

completely and we forget about all of his right. No, he deserves to be punished for that. We are in this life out in the hereafter button from the other side. He what has certain rights? This does not justify this. We say in English. Yeah. What is it? Two errors will not make the What is it? to also make a right. Yes to what two wrongs don't make a right. Yeah, two wrongs will not make one right. Okay. So he responded to you He treated you badly. It doesn't mean that you do the same thing because that is wrong. That is wrong. It doesn't make it right. Yeah. And that I Allah Allah Allah says, while at the stone center to Allah ceja egg fabulet he hasn't either la de vida Kobe, no other

way to

me, one, in the loneliness over one Iraq, ah ha

ha Santa good is not likely that if a person you have something with him, deterred the evil with what with doing good. So as a result, if there is a person, you have hatred against them, he is your enemy, but because you responded to his evil in a very nice way, we are not talking about

the enemy of Islam and Muslims. No, no, no, we are not talking about that. We are talking about a normal person. Muslim, I believe, who is generally speaking good, not evil. Yeah. But you think that he wronged you? Then what will happen? Once you respond in the best way? Then you will be as close friends. And let me just say one important point about this. Many brothers and sisters

They enjoy looking at themselves as victims.

Yeah, they like, Oh, look, everyone is against me. You know, when I was young, my parents, my parents were against me. My parents used to favor the other child. My, my other siblings, my older brothers, they used to beat me up. They used to take my things. I used to get the old clothes. I used to get the secondhand clothes after they wear it. I was, yeah, they liked what? to victimize themselves. They enjoy it. Because what, because this victimizations lead to many justifications of many of their mistakes, brothers and sisters, a successful person will not victimize themselves.

The successful person will move. We'll keep moving, we'll keep moving. That's why to keep moving, go and fix your relationship with your siblings and with your relatives in general. Just a couple more that we want to share with you shake can this next Hadeeth does narrated Abu Dawood Can you tell us Can this be now encouraging people to get involved where you hear the promise? I was saying, asking the question, do you know what is better, far better than charity, prayer fasting, they said, What could be better? He said, bringing those ties of kinship together, shall I inform you of something more excellent degree than fasting prayer and southern God then the people replied, Yes. So

messenger of Allah, He said it is putting things right between people spoiling them as a shaver. How do we understand this? padishah Yeah. See, this is? See Islam wants us to remain as as solid society. Yeah. Once this society is this united? Yeah, the whole oma will be this united. And then it will be fragmented, and it will be weakened. Yes. That's why we say unity starts at all. That's why Allah Allah Allah warned us against this unity, while eternal self attempts to attend a very hokum don't need this united otherwise what? You will lose courage and you listening will work will depart. That's why, you know, those who maintain the relationship between people reconcile between

people, they have they are doing one of the best deeds, if not the best deed. Yeah. And this is what the promises Selim says, shall I tell you about that? Which is better than look, sada saga and sia in the Quran? Allah, Allah Allah says La Jolla, pttd, Managua, honey, lemon, soda, you know, not working out is in vain and nursed. Yeah, so Allah, Allah, Allah making,

building the bridges and fixing the relationship between people. See, we are allowed to lie.

We are allowed to lie in order to what to fix the relationship between people see how much weight and exceptions Allah Allah Allah gave for this process? Which is what reconciling between people so this falls into so no button so nobody gets the wrong impression this falls under those categories. Specifically, if let's say your wife makes you some food, too much salt in it or what night like a you know, how is it? Yeah, it's great honey, or this to bring unity together. This is an exception for that. But in generally in lying is detested. It's a it's a it's something that's totally, you know, you're not supposed to lie, but in this case, yeah, of course, this is one night and you know,

we don't need to Yeah. Okay to clarify that. Like, for example, A and B, and you go to a, yeah, A and B, they have problems. And these are not Blood Brothers, by the way. And then you go to a and you say, you know what, I the other day, I was with B and he told me that you know, well, I love it. And, you know, I'm lying for that for the reconcilation not lie about anything else. Yeah. And you go to a and you tell him that Listen, you know be told me that I want to reconcile with a bot I feel that if I may reconcile him, he might misunderstand me or he might, you know, put me off or so, then he will say Really? Yeah, really. And then you go to B and you tell them the same thing in order to

fix the relationship. This is what this is allowed. And this is the scholars mentioned it is some of the scholars mentioned this as a comment on this IRA hierarchy cadherin manual Joe alchemilla Masada saga cleaner Okay, now he's laughing. Yeah. And they said this kind of secret. Yeah, hidden discussion.

A hidden discussion in an isolated way. It is not allowed in general. Yeah, except if you are an outsider catinaccio manana, except if you are doing these good things, including what? Including fixing the relationship between

okay Shay just one more Hadeeth and a story and we know that we strive I mean to be on par on pure monotheism to worship the creator not the creation the one and only created the heaven the earth the same God of Moses, Jesus Abraham the last the fundamental problem have a piece of Busby upon them all they glad to get glad tidings of what we're striving for to avoid the Hellfire and to get to Jannah that's why we're fasting this month of Ramadan praying doing all of these good deeds now to hear this howdy This is in Bahati. You know, it's really scary and should hopefully, you know, rattle some of the emotions as someone to go ahead and you know, make amends with their brother or

sister it says one does not enter Paradise who breaks up his family ties

this

Yes, yeah.

So, this is in behati, this authentic hadith. I mean,

what do you say about that show? Yeah, I need the person the person who dies while he is they still did not fix the relationship with his with his relatives, yeah, he will be a stopped before getting into gender until What if he has rights or they have rights until that is fixed between what between is

between his his relatives, some scholar said that they are liar collusion net account that means that he should be punished before again before getting to them not because he has committed a major sin. Of course, they are Holden Nakata. Here, it doesn't mean permanently, because we as you know, I listen. Now we believe that even if the person committed a major sin, yeah, eventually, he will be purified from that major sin and will go to Ghana. But this shows the severity of this. What of this same

is why it's so important to go to a scholar like yourself, you know, people have knowledge to go ahead and get clarification context of such Heidi now there's a story share that we want to end with. And the story goes like this. I don't know if you probably have heard it's attributed to Abraham ADA, one of the companions of the Prophet said a young man went to attend the weekly halakhah lecture of Abu huraira. But staff when he heard him saying if anyone sitting here has severed ties, a kinship, he should leave. So the story continues, said he recalled that he had not been on speaking terms with his aunt living in the same town. The young man quickly left the

gathering and went straight to his hands house and asked for forgiveness for his past behavior and sought sought forgiveness. When the aunt inquired about the reason for the change of heart. He narrated the incident and story continues. She accepted apology but asked him to inquire from Abu Zubaydah to the online. The reason for this unusual statement. Why did avoider leave all the other major sins and focus only on this? What was so special about the ties of kinship? I will Herrera replied that he had heard the prophet SAW some narrate that our deeds were presented to Allah every Thursday night and anyone who had severed family ties, has his good deeds rejected he did not want

any such person sitting in his gathering, which was held on the same night for fear that it could deprive the entire gathering of the blessings of Allah.

But how do we take the story shake? How do we take this story? Is this authentic? How do we like it? Yeah, yeah. Okay. This is speaks for itself. This is speaks for itself. That's why we and I appeal to amounts to show you to focus on this. Yeah. on this issue, maintaining the ties of kinship and to show Yes, to narrate the verses what Kabbalah bukanlah taboo Allah Yahweh holiday in Asana, our combined between what commanding torture alone and what not to be rude to your parents and to look after them. Allah Allah, Allah says, Thank me initially while you I read Aika be thankful to me and to your parents. Yeah, in particular. And, and and see the one of the I there are so many stories,

one of the, one of the people can turn around

and say to him, You know what, my mother became ill and disabled and in order for her

To relieve herself, she cannot relieve herself except if she sit on my back. So she sits on my back.

Wanted to relieve herself I turn away and I don't look at her our Yeah, this is the way she can relieve herself. So Oh amalgamating that I have fulfilled her right. And then I'm gonna know how about He said, No, no, no, no, ever. He said, How come? How come Gee, I need this is the way she relieves herself. Yeah, defecate or urinate? Yeah, on my back. When I'm carrying her. He said, Yeah, because she did the same thing when you were young. And she wanted you to continue on to grow and to become, you know, to see you as a man. But to now you want to get rid of this? Yeah. Look, yeah. I said he was not actually saying he could not eat with his mother. He said big. Why? Because I was

afraid that I might eat something that she was thinking of eating it. One person asked one of these colors. Can I argue with my father, he said you cannot stare at him. just staring at him. You will see we can go on and on by talking about those stories. Anyway, just because of time. It also stories speak volumes, and will lie. I feel sorry for our young people in the West. Yeah, in non Muslim countries in general, because these values are not there are not common. They are not used to these values. And that's why even from our perspective, I will you know, when they talk about American values, British values, I say on index in those values, the most important value, which is

what? Yeah, say that looking after your parents, yeah, maintaining that ties of kinship, and the impact of that is on social cohesion, the welfare, the well being of the society, the security, you name it, and it's still none of those countries consider it as what as a value in fact in to control the of that if your father Yeah, if you the Father, you know, I don't know whether I mention this or not to you Although I mentioned it one of the sisters one teacher here. He told me that a one of the girls she found it a police for her parents because they stopped what the Wi Fi

Yeah. So this is now the culture unfortunately, and we need campaigns inshallah we will be doing a campaign like this, which is look after your pal something like this. All right, last closing comments and advice. Now the person we talked about the parent and now finishing off for the brothers sister who's boycotting each other, they're tuning in last minute that we have, what advice do you have for them to help maybe soften his her heart so they can reconcile on his blessing month Ramadan?

Well, llahi brothers and sisters, I swear by Allah, Allah, Allah, nothing more sweeter in your heart, and nothing that will soften your heart and make you closer to Allah. Allah Allah than suppressing your ego and what and call your parents First of all, and then your siblings and the other relatives and you will see the impact of this on your life in your contentment. When your happiness when your children Own your life in general. Say thank you so much. Thank you so much, inshallah doesn't go down in history and help to go ahead and mend some relationship bring much good to the homes of unbroken Jazakallah Hi, thank you she

bought a coffee is so lucky.