Taimiyyah Zubair – Taleem al Quran 2012 – P04 054D Tafsir Al-Nisa 3-4

Taimiyyah Zubair
AI: Summary © The speakers discuss the history and importance of marriage, including the idea that it is not just a matter of being the same as their relatives, but rather a matter of being the same as their relatives. They emphasize the importance of being a good husband and wife to avoid harming oneself and others, maintaining attraction to a woman, avoiding double union, not being forced into marriage, maintaining healthy relationships, and giving gifts to couples. They also discuss the importance of giving back money to couples and not feeling guilty about it. The speakers emphasize the need for a woman to marry a man who is un attracted and maintain healthy relationships, and encourage those who want to give gifts to couples to take it happily.
AI: Transcript ©
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I will do a quick recap of the first two verses and then inshallah we will continue. So the Messiah is a murky Surah Madani Surah Madani what does that mean it was revealed in the city of Medina? No, it was revealed after the Prophet sallallahu sunnah migrated to Medina, what's another name of surah? Nyssa

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Surah to the other one version of justice and mercy. Why? Why is it called the pseudo of justice and mercy? Because this surah tells us about

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the rights of all those who are deprived? And who are those who are deprived? What are some kinds of people who are deprived in society of the rights, women and orphans? So in this surah, there are many commands related to the rights of orphans as well as the rights of women. When can a person acknowledge that the fact that he has to give the rights to those who are oppressed? Because many people disregard the weak that what are they going to do? For example, if it's a woman, What can she do with money? Ignore her, what is she going to say? What power does she have? When can a person acknowledge another being his existence or her existence, their rights, their feelings, and as a

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result, give them what they deserve? When can a person do that? When they have Taqwa? And when they realize that just like I am a human being, they're also a human being. Just like, I want to be respected. They want to be respected to just like, I want that my rights are given to me, they want that their rights are given to them as well. And this is the reason why the surah begins with what yeah, you have NAS Itakura calm or mankind or people Fear your Lord under the Halacha Coleman nevsun Wahida the One who created you from one soul meaning all of you regardless of your gender, regardless of your social status. You all come from who one man Adam or a cena you are all brothers

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and sisters you are all human beings. Well hello come in has soldier her and if you look down on women, why do you look down on women if you think about it, how what came from home, Adam Rene Sinha, bow to come about you are one of another meaning you are from one another. We're both the men who marry John and Catherine when he said, and from them to his spread out and many men and many women, what duckula And fear Allah, Allah the the SIR Aluna behave by whose name you're always demanding your rights, by whose name you're always asking each other for what you deserve. So you remember Allah when you want something? But do you remember Allah when you have to give something to

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someone? Many times it happens, right? That when it comes to our rights, then we start telling people fear Allah. And we think about how Allah will question that person and punish them. But when it comes to our duties, our obligations, the rights of others, that we have to give, where does the fear of a logo So fear Allah by whose name you demand from one another, your rights while on ham, and the wounds meaning fear Allah concerning the relationships in Allah can earn equal Akiba. And remember that Allah is always watching you. He's watching you, just like someone has their eyes fixed on another person's neck. So he is watching you wherever you go, whatever you do, he knows,

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the first command that Allah gives with regards to the rights of people will actually aterna and wanna give to the orphans, their properties, meaning the properties that the orphans have inherited from their parents, from their relatives, then that property should be given to them. And an orphan is who a 20 year old man whose father has passed away is that an orphan who was an orphan, a child who has not yet reached the age of puberty, and their father has passed away. All right, and the thing is that a child inherits from who their father, he also inherits from the mother definitely. But the father's property is typically more than that of the mother. Right. So this is why it's

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necessary that they get Amma to the orphans, their property is given to them. One after the buffalo habito the tube and do not exchange your impure for their pure meaning you give them your bad wealth, and in return, you take their goodwill, because when an orphan moves in with someone, he will come with his belongings and eventually those belongings might get mixed up. Or what does an orphan know that this part of the garden is mine and this part of the garden is my uncle's the orphan doesn't know. But if the uncle says, Yeah, this part of the garden that belongs to the orphan has better trees, okay, is more productive. So I'll keep this one and I'll give him my bad part.

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Allah says do not do that. Because you see an orphan does not know

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What's going on because of his young age? All right, and he can be easily deceived. You know, like some many women, they say that our husbands is that a sign here and sign there and sign here and we have no idea.

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Okay. And many times it happens that a woman does not even know and her husband sells the house or gets another mortgage or gets a loan, or makes a very bad financial decision. And the wife had no idea, she just goes in times over there. And then later she has to suffer the consequences. So imagine this is a woman who can read who can understand, but even she gets deceived easily. But what about a young child who has not even yet reached the age of puberty, he can be easily deceived. So this is why one has to fear Allah concerning the rights of the orphans, one after Kulu Awana whom Illa unwelcome and do not consume their wealth to your wealth, meaning don't mix it up in such a way

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that their wealth becomes your wealth. And at the end, the orphan is left with nothing. If you do that in the hookah huben Kabira. Indeed, it is a really bad sin. What kind of a sin is prob with regards to Family Matters against relatives, right, whether they are immediate family or distant relatives. So this is a great sin, if no kind of Hoban Kabira. Then Allah says we're in Clifton. And if you fear, Allah, Takasu, philia timer, that you will not be able to maintain justice with the orphans.

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The previous idea was about the property of the orphans that give them their property. This idea is about the orphans themselves, their lives, that first of all, you have to safeguard the property of the orphan. And secondly, you have to look after the well being of the orphan as well, that their life is not wasted. Their lives are not ruined. Because an orphan doesn't just come with property with money, he doesn't just have money, he has a life that he has to live right that she has to live.

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So you have to look after their well being as well. And one of the major things that happens in life is what marriage is an eternal marriage is something that is very, very major, it really affects a person. So this is concerning the marriage of who of orphans, in particular orphan girls, because boys they can survive, but girls are more vulnerable, aren't they? Aren't they? A boy, he decides whom he wants to get married to when where he wants to live. But a girl, if she's given off in marriage to someone, does she have any control over her situation? She doesn't. And especially a little girl whose father is not there, whose parents are not there to make the best decision for

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her, then who is going to defend her who is going to fight for her. So this idea is about what the marriage of orphan girls. So Allah says that if you fear and lead to proceed to tuxedo from the root letters up seem BA from the workplace, and this means justice, fairness, so you fear that you will not be able to maintain justice with who with the utama and utama. Plural of your team in particular, this is referring to the Atacama Nyssa female orphans, meaning orphan girls, eventually they're going to grow up eventually they have to be married. So if you fear that when you will marry an orphan girl, okay, and you will not be able to maintain justice with her. Then what should you

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do? Don't marry the orphan girl instead. phunki who then go and marry from Nikka known calf her who should you marry Melba Bella co Mina Nyssa those women that melt lava let you like Baba is from Toya but please. Kleber to like something. So go ahead and marry those women whom you like. Now, what is this justice with the orphan girls that has to be maintained and a person fears that if he will marry an orphan girl, he will not be able to maintain that justice. What is this referring to?

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Now, it was very common amongst the Arabs, that if a man became the guardian of some orphan girls that were obviously his relatives, okay? Like, for example, his cousins, let's say his uncle died, he left behind two daughters, they've got no other relatives, or because he is the closest to them in relationship, he would become their guardian. All right. So when they would become guardians of orphan girls, who were their relatives, what would they do? They were simply just married. Okay, I'm not saying that she had to be two years old or four years old. I mean, eventually when she was have a marriage

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will age. In many societies, you will see that even though a girl is not of marriageable age, still she's given off in marriage. Right? So they would simply marry her. Why would they marry her? Not because they liked her, you know, she was compatible with them in age or in mental level, or, you know, in her nature, or they liked one another No, not because of this reason, simply because she had inherited some property from her father.

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In Sahiba, hottie we learned that an orphan girl was married to simply because she owned a date palm.

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And the man, he wanted that debt bomb. So he would say, If I marry her, I can take that debt bomb. But if she married someone else, then the debt bomb will be her husband will have a share of that. So you know what, I'm not going to let her marry anybody else? I'm going to marry her so that I can get this debt bomb. So if you marry someone just because they own a debt bomb? Really? Can you love them? Can you be fair with them? Can you take care of them? No way? Can you show love to them anything? Will this be a healthy relationship between a husband and a wife? Not at all. Not at all. And sometimes, the man himself would not like the girl or would not like the woman, the only reason

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why you would marry her, or you know what, she's got this garden, she's got this house, it can become mine. That's the only reason. And also, he would think that if I go and marry someone else, I would have to give her Mahesh, I would have to give her a bridal gift, which would be a lot because her father is alive, her brother's there, they're going to demand that a lot of money be given. But this orphan girl her father is not there. I am her guardian. So who's gonna tell me to give her mom, I won't have to give her any more. So they would basically give her very little Maha, or no matter at all. And sometimes the girl even did not want to marry, but they would force her into that

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marriage. So Allah subhanaw taala revealed this idea, guiding his servants, that when you fear that you will not be able to maintain justice with the orphan girls, then don't marry them. Don't marry them and make their lives miserable, and incur sin upon yourself. Don't do that. Instead, go and marry someone else. And who should you marry mouth? Baba koombana Nyssa those women whom you like, marry a woman whom you like, and Why marry a woman whom you like man over here. Remember that the word man when it's used for living beings, it refers to the description of that individual. So the description of the individual is what that you like them? Why do you like them? Why should you marry

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someone whom you like? Because only then can you be fair with them? Only then can you give them the money that they deserve? Only then will you seek them? Will you want them and when you want something, then you are sincere and you are fair, and you strive for it. An orphan girl who's going to tell you to give her mug nobody who's going to fight for her no one at all. But if there is a woman whom you will like whom you want to marry, and she's got a father, and he's gonna say you better look after her. You better give her a decent Mahal. You better take care of her. So you will be more fair. So funky, Houma, La Bella, calm. Mina Nisa, because the thing is that marrying the

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orphan girls was very convenient, okay. But it would mean being unfair with the girl. And secondly, forcing oneself to do something that a person does not want from the heart. He's getting married to her just for money, not because he likes her. And the thing is that forcing yourself to do something, even if you know that you're going to get some benefit out of it is like eating something that you don't want. It's like eating food that you do not like. And when you force yourself to eat something that you do not like, then what's going to happen, your body is going to refuse it. Does it happen that people eat something that they don't like, and they end up throwing up? Isn't It's my

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little girl. She does not like lentils at all. And if through some trick or something, I will just manage to put a little bit into her mouth. Immediately, she will spit it out. She will spit it out immediately. She just cannot keep it in her mouth. Even she cannot even swallow it. She just can't. And think about it. If it's forced, then what's going to happen? She can throw up. Correct. So this is what happens when you do not like something and you force yourself to do it, even though it may be very beneficial for you. What's going to happen, it's actually going to harm you. So likewise, if you marry someone whom you do not like even in the case of the man, you're going to harm yourself.

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You're harming the girl but you're going

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No harm yourself do. You're going to incur sin, you're going to make your life miserable. The Prophet sallallahu sallam said a woman is married for four reasons for her well for her lineage for her beauty for her Deen. So these four things, these four factors, what are the things that are a cause of attraction? So there has to be some element of attraction between the husband and wife. So Allah says, go ahead and marry the woman whom you like, and marry how many you can marry Mithuna with Allah Azza wa Aruba.

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Okay, Magna, Intuos Salesa in threes, little bar in fours, please, everybody give me a big smile. Because this is like, Oh my god. So just relax. Okay, relax, chill. Anyways, Magna. Its name its name. It's from the word if name two and Mithuna westerleigh Thalassa salsa lesson entries, little bar, a bar a bar meaning enforced meeting some of you will go ahead and marry do women, others will go ahead and marry three women and others will go ahead and marry for women. More than four not allowed. Now the Arabs, they would marry many women. Okay, now imagine a person has a wife. And then he becomes a guardian of an orphan girl. So he marries her to and then he becomes a guardian of

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another two orphan girls. So he raised them to now he has got four there is a cousin of his he liked her. There is a you know, a good friend of his so his sister or his daughter. Some men would actually have done wives. Okay, done wives. And we learned that it's reported in Musa dharma, that a man Leland Ben Salem has coffee. This person had done wives when he became Muslim, and the Prophet sallallahu Sallam told him choose any four of them and divorced the rest, you can only keep four wives not more than four wives. Why? Because if a person has a need to marry more than one,

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that he cannot maintain justice between more than four, he can marry up to four but more than four maintaining justices. Impossible. And by the way, having multiple wives is is something really strange today.

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Really, with the concept of Sister Wives.

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You know what I'm talking about? You have no idea. You don't watch TV.

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This is something that's common, not just in Arabia. This is something that happened not just 1400 years ago, but it's something that happens today. This is something that's not just practiced by Muslims. Okay. But it's something that's practiced by people of other faiths as well. All right, for example, who even Christians, different fits, right? People practice them. And these days, people are so happy and confident about the decision that they've made that they have no problem coming on television, that the husband is sitting in the middle and two wives on one side and two hours on the other side.

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And it says though, they're best friends, they have no problem.

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If you don't know what I'm talking about, go googoo. Sister Wives. Anyways, I don't want to go into details. But the point over here is that over here, Allah subhanaw taala is giving an allowance. This is something having multiple wives is something that has happened throughout history, in various cultures, across the globe. In different societies. This is something that has happened. And when it has happened throughout history, it means that this is something that's kind of normal. When it has happened throughout different cultures, different countries, different societies. This means that there may be a situation where there is a need to have multiple wives, or some people may be

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very comfortable with it. Others are shocked at the thought of it. At the idea of it. They're repulsed, but others, they have no problem whatsoever.

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She's giving an example of how she watched a documentary once and in that there was a man who had 31 wives. Now, this is something that's not allowed in Islam, because maintaining justice between 31 wives Impossible. Impossible. It's really not possible that a person can maintain justice between 31 wives. And the reporter asked this man that how do you manage them? And he asked him the reporter that how many wives do you have? You've got only one. So this man with 31 wives burst out laughing, that he couldn't even comprehend the idea of having only one wife. So anyways, it was so normal for him. Likewise, it is very normal for many people.

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So the point is that Allah subhanaw taala has given an allowance where there is a need, okay, where people feel that this will make their life better. This will make their situation better. This will help them in the way they live. So this is an allowance that is

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being given, and four is the limit. Four is the maximum not more than four, because maintaining justice between four is not humanly possible. Now, what are some of the reasons why Allah subhanaw taala would even allow this? For example, a man gets married, okay? Him and his wife, the loved one another very good relationship, a healthy relationship. And he wants kids, but she cannot have them. So, if he wants children of his own, then why should he be deprived? Especially when he can have now at the same time, he likes her, she likes him, they're living a perfectly normal life, they don't want to be apart from one another. So should he have to divorce her to marry someone else? So that

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he can have kids? No, it doesn't seem fair. So in that situation, if he wishes to marry someone, why not? Does he not have the right to have kids? He does. Now, you can say that, Oh, you should go and adopt someone. But it's a different thing, right? It's a different feeling when you know that this child is mine, my progeny, my descendant, my son, my daughter, it's a different feeling altogether. So people live different lives, their situations are different. And they may be in that situation where they need more than one wife. So the allowance has been given. And the maximum limit is four. Then Allah says for in halftone. But then if you fear aleteia, or dealu, that you will not do our

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agile 32. From our Cinderella, you fear that you will not maintain between who, between more than one wife, that if you have two wives, you cannot be fair with them. Or if you have three wives, you cannot be fair with them. You have four wives, you cannot be fair with them. These days, a person cannot maintain justice between his work and his wife, isn't it? Isn't it so that the wife says, you know, I'm jealous of your boss or your work? Or that I don't like the idea that you're gone for so long? And he's constantly juggling. So if he goes on marrying two wives or three wives or four wives, and he fears that he cannot maintain justice, his situation is such or he feels that he's

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weak. He's not that strong. He doesn't have that good management skills or organizational skills. Then what should he do? Allah says Villa Haider, then only one, limit yourself to one wife. Don't go ahead and marry more. Oh, my Monica. Amen. Oh calm. Or that which your right hands possess a man is a plural of You mean You mean his right hand? Now in Arabia, slavery also existed. And it was something that was very common, you could say that half of the population was perhaps of slaves, okay. And these slaves, they had been brought from were all over the world. Right? They were slaves in Makkah that had come from Rome. That had come from Rome, right? Likewise, there were slaves in

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Medina that had gone from Persia, Salman Farsi. He was originally from Persia, and he ended up in Medina. Now, a person who does not have any family, if all of a sudden Allah subhanaw taala gave the command that free your slaves, you're not allowed to keep your slaves, then what would happen? Those slaves would not know where to go.

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All right, they will not have any family. They were basically very much integrated in the society. Now it this is a completely different topic. When we think about slavery, we're like, why is this even allowed in Islam? There are many reasons. There's a whole history behind it. And we see that in our deen many sins that are committed by a person, their compensation is what

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their compensation is freeing a slave freeing a slave. There's so much reward for freeing slaves. And this is why we see that so many companions, we learn about them, that they were pre slave so regularly. This was something that was very common amongst the sahaba. So anyway, slavery is something that was practiced. And in our deen, we see that many rights were given to the slaves. Like for example, if a slave wanted to buy his freedom, right, if a slave wanted to buy his freedom, then he should be allowed he should be held, in fact, like Salman Pharisee, he wanted to buy his freedom from his master. So what happened? All of the companions even the prophets of Allah Islam

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helped him how the payment was basically that Samantha to see how to grow a certain number of debt bombs. So all the companions that got together and they helped him

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all right, and when a person is a slave, he has to pray for Allah. All right, and we see that so much emphasis the prophets of Allah to them late in the hotpot Have you had to deal with or even on the rights of slaves? So this is a completely different discussion, but with the knowledge with the awareness that slavery did exist, Allah subhanaw taala says, oh,

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Wilmer Melaka a man that benefit from that which are right hands possess meaning benefit from the slaves that you own. right hands possess refers to your ownership meaning the slaves that you own. So basically what is being said is that if you have one wife, all right, and you want another wife, you need another wife for whatever reason, okay? You want another wife, but you fear that you cannot maintain justice, you can barely keep her happy, how can you keep another wife happy, because the rights of a wife are many, correct, there are many, and a person is responsible, he has been made Qalam he is responsible for maintaining her for looking after her and everything. So if he fears

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that if he marries more than one, he cannot maintain justice. But at the same time, he needs another wife, his wife, for whatever reason, is not able to fulfill his rights. Okay? Then Allah says, go ahead and benefit from the slaves that you own, which slaves are these, it refers to the slave women. Remember that when a person owns a slave woman, that slave woman is his, she cannot be shared by any other men. All right. And that slave woman is like, you can say a servant in the sense that she will serve him, she will obey Him. But a man is also allowed to have relations with the slave woman. But remember that she is only is not to be shared by anyone else. All right, she's not to be

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shared by anyone else. And the scholars have said that the relationship between a master and a slave woman is in fact stronger than the relationship between a husband and a wife. Okay, why? Because a wife, she has her rights and she can demand and she can take color and she can walk away. A man can just pronounce one word and divorce her and everything's finished. Right? But the slave woman and the master he owns her. There is a much stronger bond over here. She obeys Him, she listens to him. And it doesn't mean that he does not take care of her he does not provide for her. No, he has to he has to and he has to be very gentle very lenient with her very good with her in every possible way

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and the rights of slaves another discussion completely, but please don't go online and google rights of slaves in Islam because if you refer to share Google, I'm sorry, you're gonna be in a lot of problem. So anyway, oh, my Monica is a man who can benefit from the slave women that you own, then he can Adena that is closer from the new doll known well, that is closer aletta Rulu that you will not dare although you will not inclined to injustice there Oh Louise from Irene while lamb Allah your oluwo is to incline to one side to lean towards one side. Why for personal benefit for personal enjoyment. Like for example, a person has two things he has to manage. And he has to maintain

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justice. So he has to remain in the middle and he has to remain straight. But if he inclines to one side, okay, because he finds it more convenient or he enjoys more than this is what are they Oh, this is injustice, because when he will lean on to one side, he will deprive the other. For example, if a person is working two jobs, okay. And one job he really enjoys, he likes it. He has fun over there. So what does he do? He spends more time doing that. He spends more time in that workplace doing that work. And as a result, he will neglect the other.

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You understand? So likewise, if a person has more than one wife, okay, he has more than one wife, then there is a chance that he will be unfair. Because one of them, she cooks better, she takes care of him more, she's more respectful. There's more compatibility between the two of them. And the other one, she's also good everything, but he doesn't feel that close with her. So as a result, what will happen he will incline more towards one. So Allah says that he can add a letter Rulu that if you marry only one wife, that is closer that you won't be unfair. That is closer to justice. That is closer to justice. Another interpretation of this verse is that marrying 234 Women How many ever but

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only four. But the women whom you will like, as was mentioned, is more closer to justice. It will help you be more just compared to marrying

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An orphan girl.

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If you marry an orphan girl, it's very much possible that you will be unfair. But if you marry even 234 wives, but you like all of them, then you will be more fair with them so that he can add dinner and let her roll. And if a person has more than one wife, and he is not fair with them, this is a problem.

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It's a problem in the sense that he will live a difficult life. Okay. And secondly, this is something that is very serious. On the Day of Judgment, the Prophet sallallahu sallam said that whoever has two wives and inclines towards one of them over the other, he deprives one, he's not fair with her. But he will come on the day of judgment and one side of his body will be slanted. What does it mean by slanted that it's like paralyzed, that it will be falling? That he will be slanted, like he won't be able to carry one side of his body at all. And everyone will see him.

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So this is something serious. A lot of us talk about, oh, you know, why is this allowed? Why is this permission given, but remember that every allowance every permission, comes with responsibility? And accountability?

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Yeah, there are different benefits. You know, people have said behind this allowance, like they some have said that the population of women is more than that of men. But even if you ignore that, if a person is in a situation where he needs more than one wife, then that allowance has been given. So what are some of the lessons and benefits that we see in this ayah? first of all, the obligation of being careful when a person has this fear of falling into sin? When a person is afraid that if I do this, I will end up making a mistake, I will end up committing sin, then what should he do? He should be careful. And he should stay away from that situation. If a person feels that they will be

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working in a place studying in a place going to a place where their Salah will be compromised or higher will be affected, then they're responsible. They're supposed to stay away.

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When it comes to this allowance of married more than one wife, then can a girl have more than one husband? And why not?

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Those of you who are married?

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I'm asking you. You have only one husband, right? Do you feel that you're able to really satisfy him and please him and make him happy every single day? Tell me are you able to, you're not you prepare the best food. And then what happens? You're so exhausted.

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Or you go straight in your hair and dress up and everything and clean the house and you know, you're all ready to spend time with him. And then he's like, I'm hungry. Like, I can't do everything.

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And then, you know, you cook food, you look after him and you dress yourself up and everything. And he's like, why are the kids so cranky today?

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Like, seriously, you know, in that shirt of mine, you still haven't ironed, you still haven't folded this laundry. It's not possible for a woman to please her husband, that is only one 100% It's not possible for her.

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It's impossible for a woman to please more than one husband. It's impossible physically, emotionally, biologically, in different ways. It is impossible. And there are certain societies where this is practice like Tibet. Okay, this is practice that a woman may have multiple husbands, but they don't live with her. And if you don't live with your spouse, that's not a marriage. Really. If you don't live with your spouse, then what kind of a marriage is that? When a man has multiple wives, like we see that the prophets of Allah said and what was his sunnah? What was his way, that during the day, he would visit every single one of them. Every single one of them, he would go and

00:33:59 --> 00:34:23

spend time with her. And then the night would be spent with who's ever returned at once. And sometimes even during the night, he would go and visit them like it was part of his regular routine to visit all of his wives. Now, a man can do that. But a woman who has two infants, like really, is it possible for her to go and spend time with one man after the other? Come on? It's ridiculous. You cannot even imagine this.

00:34:24 --> 00:34:24

All right.

00:34:26 --> 00:34:56

Another lesson that we learned in this verse is about the fact that a person should marry the one whom he likes or she likes a person should not be forced into marrying someone whom they do not like. Now, this does not mean that you have such a high standard that I have to marry. Like a man says I need to move. You know, she has to be beautiful. Just be very loving. She has to be perfect in this way in that way. Then I'm sorry, you're not going to find a perfect wife. Likewise, my dear sisters, don't expect you know heroes. Okay.

00:34:57 --> 00:35:00

Men are men, their input

00:35:00 --> 00:35:39

referring just as you are imperfect, there are things that you have to compromise on. But think about the fact that okay, I think I can live with this guy. I think we are compatible. So then go ahead with it after it's the hara after praying to Allah go ahead with it. But remember that there has to be some element of attraction. You have to like that person, whether it is for their knowledge or it is for their deen or it is for their looks, their o'clock their family, there has to be something that will be a cause of attraction. Because husband and wife must love one another. In the Hadith we learn is the best thing that could happen between two individuals who love each other

00:35:39 --> 00:35:43

man and woman is what marriage Nikka that's the best thing that can happen.

00:35:44 --> 00:36:00

Another important thing we learned here is about the permissibility of marrying more than one wife but less than four at a time when there is a need. And this is an allowance. Remember, it's not a must. It's not mandatory. So relax. It's an allowance for those who need it

00:36:01 --> 00:36:59

will administer and give to the women. So Ducati in their bridal gifts. So the card is the plural of Sadako from slot Delta slip also from the same route. What does that mean? Like truthfulness? sadaqa is the gift that the husband gives to the wife sadaqa is what the gift that the husband gives to the wife at the time of marriage. And this gift is called Sudoku. Why? Because it shows his said it shows his truthfulness, his sincerity, in wanting her that he means that he wants her as his wife, because he's actually giving her a gift. You know, when someone gives you a gift, it proves their the love that they have for you. Right? It proves their commitment. So likewise the husband, he is

00:36:59 --> 00:37:23

proving his commitment to that relationship, commitment to his responsibility of looking after the wife and her needs. So Allah says gift to the women at the time of their marriage what sort Ducati in but how should you give it to them near Latin from noon Harlem, Nikola is a gift that is given happily, so give them this as a gift.

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And give it happily don't give it grudgingly that Oh, such a big burden. Now I have to give her a hug.

00:37:33 --> 00:38:18

Not with dislike that. Oh, she's so expensive. No, not at all. You have to give her a gift. Happily, you know graciously in a good way without expecting anything in return. So the man should not say by the way when we got married I gave you $10,000 I gave you $20,000 And you can't even iron a shirt for me like seriously. This is not an inheritance, that he keeps reminding her for the rest of her life. I gave you this much money. I gave you this much gold I gave you this and this and this when we got married so you better do this. You better do this. You better do this. This is not Nicola. Nicola is a gift that is given happily. Okay. And you don't expect anything in return. Now, what's

00:38:18 --> 00:38:21

the translation? I have a question for you. What's the translation for sadaqa?

00:38:22 --> 00:38:29

How would you translate that in English? What's the word that you will use for sadaqa? For Maha? Hmm.

00:38:31 --> 00:38:35

No, not sadaqa? No, I'm talking about sadaqa the MaHA

00:38:36 --> 00:39:00

dari no dowry is the property or money that is brought by a woman to her husband upon marriage. dowry is the money or the property the linens and the bed and the furniture and the refrigerator and the deep freezer and all of that stuff that the woman brings to the husband at the time of marriage. This is not my her

00:39:01 --> 00:39:05

any other translation that you can think of any other word in English that you can think of? Yes.

00:39:06 --> 00:39:20

bride price, okay. bride price also called bride token or bride wealth is an amount a token or property that is given by the groom to the wife's family.

00:39:21 --> 00:39:33

It is given to the wife's family at the time of marriage. So for example, the man says I have this land. And Mr. So in Seoul, please take this land for me and give me your daughter.

00:39:34 --> 00:40:00

So it's like he's purchasing the daughter from the Father. This is what bright price is. Is this MA? No. Any other words you can think of? Yes. Okay. Dower is also another word that's used for my home. But it's not down where either dour is a widow's share for life of her husband's estate if she survives him. That if the husband dies, then what I

00:40:00 --> 00:40:08

Over she gets from his money. Okay, that is dour. The fact is that there is no English word.

00:40:09 --> 00:40:19

There is no word in English. That gives the concept of Maha. Why? Because this is a concept that exists only in Islam.

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It doesn't exist in other cultures. This is a concept that exists only in Islam, that when a man gets married to a woman, then he has to give her something, not her father, not her brother, she is not supposed to give him anything. He is supposed to give something to her. Why, as a gesture of his commitment of his truthfulness, in wanting her in seeking her and being committed to her, that I need to be your husband, I mean to be responsible for you, I am going to spend on you, I am going to take care of you.

00:41:01 --> 00:41:05

I want you this is what the sadaqa means. This is what Maha means.

00:41:07 --> 00:41:12

And there are women who complain In Islam there are no rights for women. Seriously,

00:41:13 --> 00:41:51

what atom Isasa Ducati in natten give to the women there Maha happily for employee Wynonna calm then if they like for you webinar from playa, same word that the women like for you, I'm changing from something men who have it have one of them have meaning the husband gives, let's say 20,000 to the wife at the time of marriage as her Mahesh. And then she says that I know that you need a car, or you need to upgrade your car. So how about I give you 10,000 from the mother that you gave me.

00:41:52 --> 00:42:38

So she is giving something of her Maha to him to him? And how is she giving it not son not son meaning of themselves. This is a decision that they make themselves. It's not forced on them. That the wife is forced by the husband that okay, in the masjid I gave you this money, give it back to me right now. Give it to you. He cannot do that. Or that the father in law or the mother in law or the sister in law or the brother in law or the father of the girl or the brother of the girl? They say that look, we let you get married to him. Now give us a share of this Mahesh know, or give him something. Give it back to him. It doesn't look nice. You're going to keep all that 20,000 yourself.

00:42:38 --> 00:43:24

How shameful give him something back. She should not be forced into it. If she wishes to give it herself than Allah says for Kulu honey and Maria for Kulu eat it meaning ticket how honey and Maria. She's giving it herself take it in satisfaction and an ease honey and from hand on Hamza. Hannah, is when someone consumes something, eat something. And while he's eating it while he is consuming it, he's enjoying it. He likes it. So for example, you're eating some food and you know you're really enjoying every morsel every bite every sip, you're really enjoying it. This is Annie and Maria from Imran Hamza. This is when something is good in its outcome. So after eating, then your tummies

00:43:24 --> 00:43:57

aren't hurting, you're not bloated, you don't have diarrhea, you're perfectly fine. So like, at the time of consumption, you're happy. And after consumption, you don't suffer at all. So when they give you something take it happily and later for the rest of your life don't feel guilty. You understand? Don't feel guilty Kulu honey and Maria. So, what do we learn this is about the obligation upon men to give more to to their wives because Allah subhanaw taala gives a command to how much more should be given

00:43:58 --> 00:44:03

22 rupees as it is Yeah, is it how much is it?

00:44:04 --> 00:44:13

32 Yeah, in Pakistani culture Brandy 32 rupees is the model that a man has to give to a wife and how much is 30 rupees not even $1

00:44:14 --> 00:44:59

Yeah, seriously, because I said this was a shutter eat mucholder whatever a person is able to whatever he is able to whatever his financial position allows. And basically remember the term model what is acceptable culturally? You know, people are not shocked that oh my god, he gave only $50. Like, seriously what? What is that? It should not be shocking. Something that is culturally acceptable. Likewise, if a person says $100,000 where he doesn't even own a car, where he still has his tuition from university to pay off, does it make sense to give $100,000 No, it doesn't. So how much can a person give

00:45:00 --> 00:45:23

Whatever he is able to whatever his financial position allows whatever is culturally acceptable, all right. And the wife has to agree to the Maha, and the Wali, also the guardian of the girl, he also has to agree in the sense that if the husband says, I'm giving her $100, because that's all really that I can afford, and he means it. That's all he can afford.

00:45:25 --> 00:46:01

Exactly, it can be in the form of jewelry, it can be in the form of property, it can be in the form of cash, different forms. So if the girl says, okay, I'm fine with it. And the Wali says, Yeah, I think even I'm okay with it, because the girl just wants to get married to him. So she doesn't care if it's $100 or what she's just desperate to get married. So she's gonna be making a very foolish decision. So the Wali has to agree to all right. So as long as it's agreed upon, it is good, but there is no limit. In the Quran, Allah says that even if you've given a pin bar, then do not take it back what has been thought, heaps of gold

00:46:04 --> 00:46:50

there has to be agreement, okay, there has to be agreement. What kind of Maha should the husband give to the wife, whatever he can afford, whatever is culturally acceptable, whatever his financial position, allows him to, and whatever the wife agrees to whatever she is happy with. Now remember, that Maha can be something tangible. And it can also be something intangible, meaning it can be something physical, all right. And it can also be something that's not really physical, physical, like money, property, jewelry, house, these are all what different forms of Maha. You know, a girl might say that I want a laptop. Okay? So that's what he gets for her. Or she says that I want a

00:46:50 --> 00:46:55

font. So that's what he gets for her. So that can be more if she's okay with that. All right.

00:46:56 --> 00:47:38

But if that's not possible, meaning the man cannot afford to give, he's not able to give anything physical, anything tangible, then can he give her something that's intangible? Yes, he can. For example, once there was a man, and he requested to the Prophet salallahu Salam, that the Prophet sallallahu Sallam should marry particular woman to him. And the Prophet salallahu Salam asked him that okay, what do you have meaning what can you give her? He said, I've got nothing. I'm poor. I'm a 14, I really have nothing. Prophet sallallahu sallam said that no, you have to find something. This is a Hadith as reported in Makati. And the Prophet sallallahu Sallam told him go to your family

00:47:38 --> 00:48:14

and see what you find go home, find something at least. And even if you can find an iron ring, okay, meaning a ring that's not made of any precious metal. It's made from iron, even if you can find that, you know, something like a keychain ring. Basically, this is what you're talking about, or a ring that you can get from the dollar store. This is what you're talking about. So the profit is what allows them to get anything. The man went, he came back, he said, I found nothing. I really have nothing to give. But he wanted to get married and he was asking the prophets Allah loves him, please get me married to this woman. So the Prophet sallallahu sallam, he said, you know not

00:48:14 --> 00:48:24

acceptable, you have to give something. So that man said, I have an ease off what is an either a lower garment, meaning this is all that I own my clothes.

00:48:25 --> 00:49:03

The Prophet sallallahu sallam said that? No. I mean, if you wear it, she can have it. And if she has it, then what are you going to wear? So this is no matter. You know, the man that you give to the woman, it belongs to her. So you can't say okay, I give her my pants, but then you're the one who's wearing those pants. What good are those pants to her? They don't benefit her. All right. So then the man just sat down. And he was just sitting and sitting. And then he was leaving, he got up to leave. When he found no hope nothing happened. And the Prophet sallallahu Sallam called him and he said, how much of the Quran Do you know?

00:49:05 --> 00:49:44

He said, I know this, sir. I know this surah I know this surah like he started listing the number of sutras that he knew. So the Prophet sallallahu sallam, he said that will you teach her? He said, Yes, I can teach you all of the sodas, and that will be the mash. And the Prophet sallallahu Sallam agreed because he was the Guardian, in a way because he was performing the Nikka. He was the Guardian, the woman, it seems that she accepted. So the Nikka was performed based on that Muhammad and this is reported in Sahih Bukhari. So from this, we learn that marriage is something that is so important, right? That just because a person cannot afford a super valuable, expensive model, it

00:49:44 --> 00:49:59

doesn't mean that he doesn't have a chance of getting married. He still can get married with whatever means that Allah subhanaw taala has given him why because marriage is a means of protecting yourself, isn't it so it is something that helps a person keep chaste. Now this

00:50:00 --> 00:50:44

doesn't mean that a person doesn't bother to strive to earn money to provide for the family, he has to he is obligated with that responsibility. But if a person is trying to get a job to get a degree, but is not able to doesn't mean he never gets married, no, he will. And if he find someone who is willing to live in that condition with him, go ahead, but he still has to give something, he still has to give something. So we see that giving something tangible is the better option, the best option, the obligation, where that is not possible than giving something intangible is necessary. But something has to be given to the woman. Something has to be given. All right. We also learned

00:50:44 --> 00:51:14

over here that whenever a person gives a gift to someone, how should they give it? Happily? Okay, and when a person is receiving something from someone, then how should he take happily Honey, I'm Maria. Take it happily later on. Don't feel guilty. That Oh my God, when I got married, this person gave me $100 So now I have to be really nice to them. And I have to make sure that when their son gets married, I give them $100 To know Maria be guilt free. They gave you a gift. Enjoy it. Yes.

00:51:15 --> 00:51:20

The mod can be given after even but it has to be agreed upon at the time of marriage.

00:51:22 --> 00:51:51

The wedding ring, why not? But remember that there's no wedding ring that has to be there. I mean, Islamically but if the husband is buying a really nice ring that cost a lot of money. And he says that this is all that I can give you but I love it. I want to see it on you. She's okay with it. That's fine. Okay, that if the man has to give the money to the wife, like for example to get married, and it's agreed upon that he will give her a certain amount of money by the end of the year.

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Because he says I just graduated from school I've started working and I'm going to save every month this much money and by the end of the year inshallah I will have it and this money is going to be for you. This is the MaHA she agrees her father is everything got married. Now, this Maha that he has to give this money that he has to give it's an Amana on him he has to give it and if he dies before that, then you know what before his property his estate is divided from that the money will be taken first and given to the wife and then the rest of it will be distributed amongst the years It's that serious let's listen to the recitation of these verses from the beginning.

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This means your Walkman you're watching

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