Taimiyyah Zubair – Taleem al Quran 2012 – P04 051C Tafsir Aal-e-Imran 159

Taimiyyah Zubair
AI: Summary © The Ministry of Energy stresses the importance of forgiveness and avoiding behavior towards people, as well as the need for everyone to be gentle and caring for others. They stress the importance of trusting oneself and avoiding embarrassment in public. The speaker emphasizes the need for everyone to make a decision quickly and not give up on one's decisions. The importance of remodeling behavior and not giving up on one's decisions is emphasized.
AI: Transcript ©
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The Ministry of Energy must mean they have remained over here. Then Allah says Furby malwares Mati min Allah He Lynn Turner home. So it is because of the mercy from Allah, that you are Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam more lenient towards them. Allah reminds the Prophet salallahu Salam and the believers of his great favor of His great mercy upon them. How that out of Allah's Mercy, the prophets of Allah is Allah was lenient to words, the companions for be male or muddiman, Allah He Linton a home, Linda is from the New letters lamb. Yeah, noon from the word lean, which is to be soft to be flexible, when something is easy to mold, when something is easy to mold when something

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is easy to deal with. So for example, if there is playdough, okay, that's fresh out of a container brand new, how soft? Is it going to be very soft, but if you've left it out for a long period of time, then how is it going to be hard? Dry, it's not going to be easy to mold it. It's not easy to deal with it. So lean is softness, tenderness when something is easy to deal with. And it's basically ease and gentleness in dealing with someone. And it's the opposite of harshness, when you're dealing with someone. How do you deal with them through your words and through your actions, your behavior. So lean is gentleness in words with which a person addresses another and gentleness

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in behavior, okay, in the way that a person interacts with the other deals with them. Okay, so this is what lien is. So Allah says that out of Allah's mercy, you are Prophet salatu salam are lenient with the companions. So when you say something to them, you say words that are gentle, when you sit amongst them, you make them feel comfortable, when you deal with them, when you tell them to do something, you are lenient, and gentle in all of your circumstances and all of your affairs with them. You are gentle,

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and the Prophet sallallahu sallam was one of the most easiest people to deal with. He was someone who was very gentle in nature, and who had a very gentle mannerism character and Allah subhanaw taala. himself testifies to the good character to the noble character of the prophets of Allah is Allah, where Allah praises him in the Quran in surah, two column and number four, Allah says what in Allah, Allah who are looking are lame, and indeed you are surely of a great moral character, you have the best moral character, the best one, and part of that was his gentleness. Now, Allah subhanaw taala revealed this verse in the context of the Battle of health. At the Battle of war,

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what happened the prophets thought a lot of them give such clear instructions, especially if the people who were appointed on the small HELOC and they were told very clearly do not move even if you see us killed unless I signed for you. But still, what happened? Those companions disobeyed

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when the mushy keen, attacked again, the Sahaba were running away and the Prophet sallallahu Sallam took a big risk. And he said la yerba De La La Jolla, Reba de la. But those companions look back. No, they just kept running away. They just kept climbing on the mountain. They didn't even look back at the prophets all along is

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the Prophet sallallahu Sallam got wounded, injured, so much so that he didn't have the energy, the strength to climb the mountain himself. He was so badly wounded, the bleeding would not stop. His daughter had to burn a straw mat and those ashes she had to put on the wounds of the Prophet sallallahu wasallam to stop the bleeding. Imagine

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he was thirsty, he was tired, he was exhausted. Because imagine them were sticking we're all attacking him one after the other. We're coming. How exhausted he must have been out of breath. Earlier who were and who he got some water for the Prophet salallahu Salam, but what are the he could find? The source from which he brought it? It smelled really bad. The Prophet saw lots and could not even drink it. But still, did he reprimand them? Did he say to them, you're fired. Don't ever speak to me. Don't ever come near me. I'm going to leave you I'm going to abandon you. That's it. I've had enough of you. You disobeyed me you did not listen to me so many companions died. But

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still, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam dealt with them very leniently, very gently. And Allah says, It is out of Allah's mercy that you were gentle with them.

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When as a person gentle with others, when he can tolerate their mistakes

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when you can tolerate someone's mistake, only then you can be gentle with them. And if you cannot tolerate, then the slightest disobedience or the slightest mistake will bother you will irritate you so much that you can start yelling at the top of your voice. Isn't that so? Like, for example, a child.

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If you love them, and you can tolerate their mistakes, then even if they make a big mess, you will still have a smile on your face. But if you don't have that tolerance, then you know what you will yell at the child, you will scream at him on every little thing, not that it's going to make any difference but that's what you will do. So when can you be gentle with someone when you can tolerate their mistakes and when you can forgive them. And when a person is able to show us a gentleness to others, then this is Allah's mercy upon him. And Allah's mercy upon those with whom that individual is dealing with.

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Because Allah says for Bhima, Rama teaming Allah on you and on the Sahaba because if someone is not lenient with us, then definitely Allah's Mercy is not there. If we are not lenient with others, then we are deprived of Allah's mercy. And notice it is min Allah, it is from Allah and what is from Allah is very great indeed. So it is out of Allah has great mercy on you, that you were lenient with them.

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You were lenient with them. And then primarily refers to the Companions, but not just the Companions, it applies to all the people who believe in the Prophet sallallahu sallam, so the entire Muslim Ummah, because when the Prophet sallallahu Sallam commanded the companion, something that it wasn't just for them, it's also for us, and his leniency towards the Companions is very evident, and his leniency towards us is also very evident towards them. The example that I gave you at Ohio, he did not reprimand them, he did not fire them, he did not punish them. No, he was gentle and lenient, he was forgiving and compassionate. He knew that if he had suffered the Sahaba also had suffered. So

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he understood their situation as well. And for the rest of them, that is also very evident, that for example, when the prophets Allah lorrison, he had a choice between two things, what would he choose, the more easier one, why? Because it would be easy for the rest of the Ummah as well. So for example, he loves to do miswak himself, and he wanted to make it compulsory for every scholar, but he did not out of what leniency with us because imagine if it was compulsory, imagine if he made compulsory how difficult it would have been. The Prophet sallallahu Sallam had a habit of praying at night, he led the companions in the nights of Ramadan for a few nights. And he loved that the

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Companions also love that imagine hearing the Quran, from the prophets of Allah, there's no intro we have salah, but the prophets of Allah Edison did not continue this. Why? Because if he did, then so that the Torah we would be obligatory, then what would you do? Or what would you do? If you had your exams?

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In the month of Ramadan? You will be sending if you left that away. What would you do?

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If the fasts were very long, and the night was short, and all you could pray was just for a few minutes, a few units of prayer, then what would you do you would be sending? Just imagine what would you do?

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If you had little babies?

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You would be sending basically if you left out on taraweeh. So it is the profits on a lot of systems leniency His gentleness towards not just the Companions but towards the entire Oma.

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He is indeed a mercy for who Leela aalameen Allah says hello Kunta and if you were Fung one rude, Ill mannered Ali will call harsh hearted, learn for bloomin Holic, they would have dispersed from around you, if you were falling foul is from foul law. And this is rudeness in politeness in speech in character. When someone is arrogant and harsh towards people. He does not soften towards them. He is very rude and impolite and course in dealing with them. So for example, if he's angry with someone because the mistake they have made, he does not forgive them does not overlook them. And moreover yells at them doesn't just yell at them but insults them humiliate them, not just you know

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alone but in public. ruins the reputation in front of others. This is what fall

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Have rude, Ill mannered, Ill mannered someone who does not have any humidity when he's upset, he humiliates others. This is who fell is an illegal call. Someone who is hard hearted Lila's from the rule actress Lane lambs law and Leila is to be thick, when something is hard and severe, rigid, stern and Lily will remember that Leila this harshness is in the heart, which is why Allah says Lily will call harsh hearted and what is that when a person is also called when he has a hard heart fierce of the heart, what does it mean by this one person is fierce or the heart when a person is hard hearted than when he is unaffected by anything, a person may be crying in front of them, a

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person may be struggling in front of them, you know striving, so hard taking so many pains to do something, but still, their attitude towards them is this is not good enough. This is what it looks like when a person is unaffected by anything, his heart does not soften for the other,

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he does not have any mercy. And this is particularly when a person is of a higher degree, meaning he has a leadership position. Okay, he is above the others. When a person has subordinates when a person is of a higher degree compared to others in any position of authority, you can say, whether it is that of a boss, or even as a parent, as the finance manager of a house of a family, someone who brings in money to the house, it could be the son, for example, they manage all the finances of the house, even of their parents, so they have a position of authority in a way above their parents, okay. Likewise, at a workplace, as a teacher, when you are dealing with people who are under you,

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then what happens? People make mistakes, isn't it so people fall short in what they're required to do. And there could be various reasons behind that. One is that, you know, they're being lazy.

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So for example, a student has to do their lesson, they just don't do it. What's the reason then feel like, okay, they're genuinely wrong. The other instance, someone is not able to do their work because they are not able to,

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they don't have that capacity. Their circumstances do not allow, do things, they don't have the capacity, or their circumstances did not allow them. So for example, a person got extremely sick,

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okay, or they have little children, they have too much work to do. And on top of that, if there are five assignments to submit at one time, it would be indeed very hard for them. Okay. Likewise, a person does not have the capacity, they don't understand. They're too young, they don't know the language, they don't understand the concepts, for example. So then, is it fair to deal with everyone in the same way?

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Is it No, it's not fair to deal with everyone in the same way.

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And if a person deals with all the people in the same way, then this is in a way harsh heartedness. Because we are expecting someone to do something that they are not able to do. We are ignoring their circumstances. We are ignoring their capacity. Okay, we are ignoring their weakness we are ignoring the struggle that they have to go through. And this is unfair. It is necessary that we deal with the people the way they deserve to be dealt. And Zillow, NASA mana, Zillow home, but people at their positions meaning deal with them the way they deserve to be dealt with. So for example, an older person is dealt with differently compared to a younger person. If a child takes a glass and throws

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it on the floor, and as a result that glass breaks, is it the same as your teenager taking the glass and smashing it on the floor? Is it the same? No. But if you yell at the two year old kid, the way you yell at the teenager, is that fair? Is that fair? It's not fair. So a legal called harsh heartedness is to ignore the situation of the people the reason why they have done something, disregard everything, just look at what they have done, and deal with them the way you would deal with someone else. This is Harsh heartedness. When a person does not have any mercy, any compassion for another saying statements like, don't tell me how hard you work. Tell me what you got.

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I don't care about how long you were studying. Tell me Did you complete your work or not? This is not correct. This is not mercy.

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If this is something that does not be fit, a good leader

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level call, it should not be the way of a believer. And many times it happens that we expect people to perform in the same way, meaning everyone to perform at the same level. And we think that if someone can do it, others can do it too. But it's not possible. Like for example, if someone has three children, then they know that every single one of them is different. They have different set of skills, different weaknesses compared to the other. So you cannot expect that all three should be doing the same thing. In the same way. It's not fair. And if the same is expected, they will fail. And it is unfair.

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And the worst is when we expect children to behave like adults to be like adults, when we expect that a two year old child should display manners off and a 10 year old child should display etiquette of an eight year old kid. It's not fair, that child doesn't know. He doesn't know any better. So what needs to be done is lower your expectations.

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Lower your expectations. If someone makes a mistake falls short in their duty in what they're supposed to do. Forgive, let them go. It's okay. It's not a big deal. And if a person does not care, then it's a sign of harsh heartedness. You know, once the Prophet sallallahu sallam, he was kissing his grandsons and aplomb and harvest when he saw the prophets on walls and kissing his grandson, he said, You kiss your children, that you kiss your kids. And the prophets will have also said no, of course, why not. And of course, I said that I have 10 kids, and I've never kissed even one of them.

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And the Prophet sallallahu sallam said, if Allah has taken mercy away from your heart, and the word Nizar has been used, if Allah has pulled it away from your heart, and what can I do about it?

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What can I do about it when I can't help you? But we think that being harsh hearted, is a means of strength. No, it's not a means of strength. Being gentle, is something that makes you stronger. being loving and caring and affectionate, understanding, listening to the others, helping them not just ordering and commanding them, but helping them. And this can only happen when you are really sincere to someone when you want the best for them.

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Like, for example, if a two year old kid throw something on the floor, and you slap him, or you yell at him, are you teaching him? No, he is going to be terrified. But he's not going to learn the lesson. He's not going to learn the lesson. Really, he won't. Which is why it happens that when you tell children, like little kids even No, no, no, then you know what they will do? They will do what they want to, and at the same time, they will say themselves, no, no, no. They don't know what no means they have no idea.

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So always understand the situation, the circumstances, the capacity of every unique individual, when dealing with them, whether they are your spouse, your coworker, your sibling, your parent, whoever they are, understand why they have done what they have done, and then only we can be lenient, only then we can be forgiven. Only then we can be tolerant. So Allah says, well, oh canta found one really well called sofa who is who someone who is harsh in his words, and really low carb is who someone who does not care about the difficulty of the other does not have any mercy for them. Allah says, if you were like this, learn for bloomin how like the Sahaba would have dispersed from you.

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They would not have stayed with you. They would not have tolerated with you. They would have left you. If someone disobey is us. We tell our kids go wash your hands sit at the table and they don't do it. We say Go wash your hands sit at the table. Aren't you listening? You're a bad boy. You never listened to me. If you don't listen to me, I'm going to break this game of yours. I'm going to throw your toys out. You know we threaten and the kid doesn't know what's wrong with my mom. What's wrong with my dad? What's wrong with this person who's babysitting me what's wrong with them? The kid has no idea.

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If we become harsh like this, then what's going to happen? Learn frog boom in holik. They will run away from us. They will not run to us. They will run away from us.

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Len Foggo is from fair bought bought from the word football field by silver. What happens to silver

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mentally breaks away and it goes away. Right because you have to give the

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Get on it, you end up spending it right? Or you end up making jewelry, and a piece of it breaks and it goes away. So in football is when something breaks away and scatters, breaks away and scatters like for example, if you have a string of pearls, okay? Then they're together, but once the thread is broken, what will happen? What will happen they will break off from one another, they will not be together anymore, and they will scatter. Even if you try to keep them in one place, what will happen, you will lose one, another child came and took one, another child came and ate one, right? So it will happen. This is when in feedlot is in feedlots. Basically, when gradually one after the

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other something disperses, like a group disperses. So for instance, all of you are here in feedlot would be when, let's say 10 People go and then five people go from here and then 10 People leave from here. So gradually, gradually, gradually, everyone goes until no one's left. Like for example, once the Prophet total Audison was given the hotbar do more hookah

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and a trade caravan came into Medina at the same time. And when they came, they came with their bells and their announcements. And the sahaba. They were like you know, we better go and buy the food and whatever. Because if we go after the Salah, then we might miss out, everything might be gone by then. So one left and another left, and then another left and another left until only a few individuals were left.

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So the same word is used over there too. And the Muslims were prohibited thereafter that don't do this again.

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So anyway, learn for domain Holic and notice the word mean how like what does How will mean around, Allah did not say learn for domain CA

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They would have distanced themselves and gone away from you know, they would have distanced themselves and gone away from around you. When you don't like someone, you don't want to be near them even.

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You don't want to be in the same space even you avoid them and you avoid where they are.

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Is that so?

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Am I right in what I'm saying? Where am I wrong?

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If there's someone you don't like, and you see them at somebody's house at a party, and you see that they're sitting in the living room, will you go to the living room and sit there? No Where will you go in the kitchen? Or you go sit with the kids in the basement or you will go out in the backyard? No matter how uncomfortable you are? Or you will make an excuse and leave or you will go hide in the washroom which many girls do.

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They're just they're fixing their makeup and fixing their hair constantly. I don't know why they came to the party. Did you come to fix your hair do your makeup or did you come to actually sit with other people eat and enjoy anyway?

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Lanford lumen Holic, they would not tolerate you at all. Because rudeness and harshness is something that people do not tolerate. If someone is treated with rudely, if someone is treated with in a very harsh manner, if someone is insulted, then they don't put up with that.

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People don't put up with that. And we see that even children run away from people who rebuke them.

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Even if that person maybe their mother or their father, or their grandmother, or their grandfather or their aunt, or their older brother. Little kids even are averse to those who yell at them isn't.

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So learn for domain Holic, people feel comfortable, where they feel welcomed. They're relaxed, where they feel safe. And if a person feels that there is a threat to their dignity, then they begin to avoid that place. They begin to avoid that individual, then it doesn't matter how important it is for them to be there, how beneficial it is for them to be there. They don't care. They'll avoid. It doesn't matter how hungry you are. You will not go and sit at the table where someone who insults you is sitting.

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Right? Someone who yelled at you, if there are somewhere it doesn't matter how desperately you need to be there, you will not go there. You will not go near that individual because you don't want to be hurt. Learn fragomen Holic they will distance themselves from you, they would not want to be around you. So the prophets of Allah wa salaam, his gentleness, Allah appreciates that Allah praises that. That out of Allah's mercy, you were gentle. At another occasion, you had the right to yell at them to be upset, but still you were gentle. And if you were not, the people would not have tolerated you

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know, imagine this is the Sahaba people like the Companions not putting up with rudeness and harshness that comes from who a prophet of Allah

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Allah says that if you Oh prophet were harsh, these companions would not have stayed with you. And you know what, they will be justified in that.

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So you think that ordinary people would tolerate harshness and rudeness from us?

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If the Sahaba would not tolerate a rude Prophet, then how can we ever imagine that a husband can tolerate a rude wife that a child can tolerate a rude mother.

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Because unfortunately, I've seen that mothers, when they become upset with their children, they yell, and they curse and they insult and they rebuke and they humiliate. And this is done in public, this is done in front of others. This is done even when there is no need. And there is no need to humiliate and insult someone like that.

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It is incorrect to yell at a child to reprimand them to point to someone's mistake in a way that they will be humiliated. We should be very careful, very, very careful. Shall we'll go into the details later. This does not mean that if someone makes a mistake, then you never point that out. You never correct them because you're being lenient. So you don't do your lesson. And so Oh, you know, we'll be very lenient with you don't do your lesson. It's okay. No, that's not what it means. Leniency is in manner.

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Not in principle.

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Okay. Leniency is in the manner of how you deal with someone, not in principle.

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Like for example, the Companions if they made a mistake, yes, it was a mistake. It was wrong, Allah reprimanded them.

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Their mistake was pointed out. But the way they were reprimanded, the way they were corrected, the way their mistake was pointed out, was gentle, and lenient. So this is something that we need to understand and we need to beg Allah for His mercy, that may Allah make us gentle in the way that we deal with others. So Allah says far for on whom forgive them, oh, prophets are a lot of sin and forgive them, keep and maintain this good relation with the Sahaba forgive them at this great mistake of theirs. Look at the overall picture. They are obedient, they are righteous, they are good people. They are sincere people. So let their mistake go at this time, don't punish them. Because

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every human makes a mistake. Every human makes a mistake. We make mistakes. Our kids make mistakes, our spouses make mistakes, our parents even our in laws, because who are we human beings, people and people make mistakes. So when they have made a mistake, let it go. And we see that it wasn't just that the battle of or that the profit or loss and forgave them. But it was also at many other occasions that the Prophet saw logs and forgave the people who hurt him. You know, even the wives of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam sometimes he would say things that were harsh,

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that were harsh, and that would really upset the prophets of Allah Islam. So we're told that once he decided not to go back home to any of them for 30 days, and he did not

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so when they were women after all, right, they were human beings do. But the prophet saw a lot of sin, what was his reaction? He forgave. Likewise, we know of so many occasions when someone's had harsh words to the Prophet sallallahu Sallam accused him of cheating, of injustice. But the prophet saw a lot of sin and forgive far for and hope forgive them. Because if we start picking out on every mistake, then you know what, we will never be happy. Never. And people will never be happy with us either.

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You have to pick your battles.

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You know, if your kid is tidying up, and you put all the Duplo away, but forgot to put the car away one car and we say no, you did not tidy up. You're not getting your sticker. Then the child can be so disappointed he's not gonna want to tidy up ever again.

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Right? If the daughter in law is trying she's cooking and the food didn't turn out perfectly, I mean, very good. For God's sake, didn't you ever make a mistake in cooking?

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I mean, everyone does right. So we are all human beings, we make mistakes far foreign home. And the thing is that the more you deal with people,

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the more problems you suffer at their hand.

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And far foreign home in particular is forgive them with regards to their falling short in your right, or prophets all along so far for anyone with regards to their falling short in your right they should have obeyed you but they disobeyed you. They should not have left their spots but they left and as a result you suffered physically personally. Emotionally you lost your uncle so many things happened. But still Oh Prophet, forgive them.

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The more you go out the more you work with people, the more you suffer

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use their hands. And the Prophet sallallahu sallam was told to forgive them. And this is the reason why he was successful as a leader.

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Also remember that the people would most sins are those who focus and list a number, the sins and mistakes of others.

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If our focus is on the mistakes of other people, she's not doing this, right, he's not doing this, right, she's doing this, this, this, this, this is wrong, then you know what, we are more sinful. We are overlooking our mistakes, looking at others mistakes. Allah says far foreign home forgive them. And the more we point out other people's mistakes, the more depth they become towards us.

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The more they begin to ignore us, the more they disregard what we are telling them.

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You know, it happens with many girls that have their grandmother's around and their grandmother tells them, well make sure you wipe the counter and make sure you watch your head and make sure you put the spoons in the right place and make sure you do this mission. You know, they're telling you and you just shut your ears off, and you do what you have to do. Because if someone keeps correcting you keeps reprimanding you, on every little thing. A point comes on, you're like, you know what, I can't take this anymore. And you don't pay any heed to what they are saying. So again, pick your battles so that you are more effective.

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For our foreign whom was the fiddler who forgive them yourself and also ask Allah to forgive them. Why? Because when they have done wrong, they have also fallen short in their duty to Allah.

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They have fallen short in their duty to you and also in their duty to Allah. So forgive them yourself and ask Allah to forgive them. And this will clean your heart. This will really clean your heart. You know, my sister, she has three boys and you can imagine boys. It's kind of difficulty with boys sometimes.

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And one thing that I've noticed in her is that mashallah, when her boys, you know, they really bother her. She tells them, go and pray Knuffle and ask Allah for forgiveness, because you have really hurt your mom today.

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So the kids are not scared of the mother, they're scared of Allah.

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And this is a reality that when we hurt someone, when we disobey them when we fall short in our duty to them, then yes, we have done harm to the person. But we have also angered Allah, because Allah is also going to ask us about our actions.

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So seek forgiveness for them from Allah that Oh ALLAH forgive them. And when you will ask Allah to forgive them then obviously you will be able to forgive them. Then your heart will be cleansed as well. Then there will be no grudges left in your heart. Well Shall we jump in on them and consult them concerning the matter shall we run from the letter seen wild or shallow your shoulder is to collect honey from the hive to collect honey from the hive

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and showed is to look nice. Okay. Shura Shinwell. Allah Shula is consultation, when you're consulting someone, then it's as though you are taking money from the hype, something beneficial.

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When you don't consult then you got nothing. When you consult someone, when you ask them for their opinion for their suggestion, what do you think I should do? What is your opinion concerning this matter, then you are collecting honey, you are collecting something that's going to be beneficial inshallah. So short is something that is very beneficial and shown to look nice when you consult someone when something is done with consultation with others than the final product is far better. Isn't that so it is far better.

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Because many times it happens that when we are looking at something, just ourselves, we end up missing some details, some things and if we had consulted someone would have noticed that and we would have saved ourselves from that mistake. So we're Shall we at home, seek their opinion meaning the opinion of the companions will are more concerning the matter. Notice that is

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and that means the important affairs, not every affair, that the Prophet sallallahu sallam was required to consult the companions on every little thing. No, he did not have to consult the companions and every little thing, only those matters which were relevant to them.

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Okay, which were relevant to them. And with regards to which there was some confusion. Meaning if Allah have given a command concerning something, then obviously you don't need to ask people. So for example, if Allah has commanded us we have to pray. Do we need to ask someone? Do we need to discuss with someone so you think I should pray five times a day?

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No. If Allah has commanded that we have to wear hijab, do we need to consult our mother? Mom, do you think I should wear the hijab? What do you think I should do? No, you don't need to consult anyone. Okay, when Allah has given a command, that's something that's done, but if it is a matter such as

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Do you think I should take this course? Do you think I should go here? Do you think I should do this as opposed to this? And especially when it is relevant to them? Like, for example, you want to have a party at home?

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Or you want to go to, let's say, a weekend seminar, or conference or something, then should you consult your parents before going there?

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Should you? Yes. Why? Because the weekend is a time that you share with your family. Right? So if you're out for the entire weekend, and your mother was expecting that you are going to be home, and you did not tell her you do not consult with her. And she has some important errands to do and that's not correct. Okay. But if it's something like when you should do your homework, what you should eat for lunch? What you should wear somewhere, then do you need to consult on every little thing? No, you don't have to. And really, you shouldn't because save your time and save her time, please. Because sometimes it happens that if you know people have to go somewhere as a family, then

00:36:04 --> 00:36:19

the mother is asking the daughter, should I wear this? Or should I wear this? And the daughters are saying should I wear this? Or should I wear this should I wear these shoes are those shoes, this lipstick or that mascara? I mean, it's not the end of the day, if you wear a different shade of pink on your lips. It's not the end of the day.

00:36:20 --> 00:36:52

It's not you don't have to waste your time asking them and discussing with them. And we end up seeking shoulder of people with regards to the color of a shirt, the design of a shirt, the store from where you're going to buy it the time when you're going to buy so much time is wasted on Shula over petty things that we have no time left for important things. So what shall we and won't fail consultant with regards to the matter meaning the important ones

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and the Prophet sallallahu sallam, he received revelation yet he was told to consult the Companions because we're unknown Shula, you know, their affair is with Shura amongst themselves meaning when something concerns certain individuals then they should be consulted. And if someone is not consulted, then they have the right to feel left out.

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Right. Do they have the right to feel left out? Then if they're upset? Are they right in that? Yeah, because they were not consulted. So wish I went home Phil um, and then for either Assumpta then when you have resolved when you have made a decision, or Assumpta from rosmarin ze mean, which is to make a firm decision when someone is not shaky, doubtful, unsure, uncertain about something while they're sure that this is what we're going to do. They have made the decision. So when you've made the decision, then fatawa cannot run Allah then trust on Allah put your trust in Him not on the plan not on the shura, the consultation that you did no trust on Allah. So just because you decided

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something, which Euro Okay, don't expect because of that surely everything will work out perfectly no trust on Allah because after all, all power lies with you with him. Because sometimes you make a plan, you know, you discuss with your mother what class you should take, what course you should take, you discuss in great detail. And then finally, you make that decision that okay, you are going to go to med school, but then when you go it doesn't work out. So should you be relying on the plan on the shoulder? Or should you be relying on Allah rely on Allah put your trust in Him and also for the worker or Allah means that once you've made up your mind, then just do it trust in Allah and do

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it. Don't remain in indecision. That until the moment you leave the house, then you like these shoes are those shoes, these shoes are those shoes, one foot in one foot out, one foot in one foot out as you're in the car, this lipstick or that lipstick, wipe it off and then change it, wipe it off and then change it. Come on. When you've made a decision, then just do it and trust on who Allah because in Allah, your hipbone with our Killeen Indeed, Allah loves those people who trust on him. This is the fruit of the worker. This is the benefit of the worker that Allah will love you. And when Allah will love you, and things will become easy for you. Let's listen to the recitation

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for Bhima

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Mina la healing

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More howling for unknown was Delphian

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00:39:43 --> 00:39:45


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Killeen so what do we learn in this ayah first of all we see the gentleness is mercy from Allah

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If a person is gentle, then they have received a great mercy from Allah. And if our heart is hard, our nature is harsh, then we need to beg Allah for His mercy. We need to beg Allah to soften our hearts because only Allah can soften hearts. If we feel that we're not affectionate, if we feel that someone is going through hardship, and we don't feel any tenderness for them, we're not concerned about the difficulty they're enduring. Then we need to beg Allah for His mercy. And another lesson we learned over here is that in any position of authority, leniency is always better. Gentleness is always necessary. The Prophet saw a lot of center was the best leader, the most exceptional leader,

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the greatest leader, he was the leader of the entire ummah. But we see that still he was lenient, because sometimes we give excuses to ourselves, my son, you know, he's got some problem. It's too difficult to deal with him. My daughter, my kids, you know what? They're different. So I have to treat them in this way. I have to yell at them.

00:41:00 --> 00:41:11

My husband until I humiliate him, he doesn't do you know the garbage? Do I have to insult him? I have to yell at him. Leila. Hi, Lulu. I mean, you don't have to insult someone to get work out of them.

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In any position of authority, leniency is always better it is needed. If the prophets or a lot of sort of dealt with the Mushrikeen

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dealt with the Companions dealt with Bedouins, one of whom who came and urinated in the mask. And we can be gentle with someone who did not know that the glass was supposed to go in a different cupboard. Come on, we can be gentle with the reveal. It's only a glass. When we will be gentle, then we will receive gentleness when we are loving, then we will receive love when we are merciful than we will receive mercy.

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Musa alayhis salam he went to fit her own. And what did Allah say to him? For Colella who code and lankinen say to him a gentle word.

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So no matter how difficult someone is to deal with, no matter how stressful we are, we need to remember, the gentleness is still better. Gentleness is still better again. Gentleness does not mean that you become lenient in principle, that you say that if a child has broken something, then it's okay. It's not okay. But in the manner that we deal with them. So we can tell them get down at their level, see eye to eye come close, and say softly. We do not do this. Let's put the glass on the table, not on the floor, you know, gently so that they can understand. And it's always better, in sort of the Toba 128 Allah says Lakota Jaya camera Suliman info Seco RZ isn't or LA Hema or need to

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hurry sooner la Conville Momineen are over him the province of Ulsan was compassionate and merciful with the believers. And we need to be compassionate and merciful with the believers as well. And this will be lower. I know he said that I served the prophets on a lot of them for 10 years. And not even once did he asked me why did you do this? Or why did you not do this?

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Not even once he was a kid,

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when he came to serve the Prophet salallahu Salam, and he stayed for 10 years serving Him and not even once the Prophet salallahu Salam reprimanded him. And if someone is supposed to be working for us, then how many times do we reprimand them?

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How many times do we get upset with them? Do we yell at them? Then we see that have the greatest disadvantages of rudeness of harshness is painting the aversion of people

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that people become averse than a person becomes alone. So rudeness, harshness leads to loneliness that a person doesn't have any friends. He doesn't. He's alone. Nobody wants to be around him. Nobody wants to sit with him. Nobody wants to talk to him. Nobody wants to consult with him. No, they don't want to be anywhere near and remember this is regardless of who you and I may be. If the Sahaba would not tolerate a rude Prophet, than ordinary people cannot tolerate you and I either if we are rude, then we also learn in this ayah that a person should let go of his rights sometimes in dealings with his brothers and sisters, the Prophet sallallahu sallam was told to forgive that even

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though they have fallen short and your duty still forgive, because for the greater good, we have to let go of other people's mistakes. We have to

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and if we start listing their mistakes and will be unhappy they'll be unhappy we'll get nowhere at all.

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By for example, if right now I started pointing out of your mistakes, please fix this bench. And please don't sit like this and please you know sit with the straight back and please write and please don't look at her and please stop yawning and please do this. Then would I be able to teach

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So there are some things that you have to let go sometimes doesn't mean they're right. So if you're falling asleep in class, if you're not sitting properly, it doesn't mean it's right. But kind of have to let it go sometimes. And it comes with time. Just like a child. As they're growing up, they learn. I remember once the pediatrician, their wife, they advised me that don't ever yell at a child or correct a child with regards to things that they will learn naturally.

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Don't get worked up over that. So for example, if a child is not holding the spoon properly, don't start yelling at them, just fix it with your head.

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You know, if a child is not able to put their pants on properly, then don't start yelling at them, they will learn over time. Do you ever see an eight year old eating like a two year old? No. Do you ever see a 20 year old dressing up like a two year old? I mean, obviously, there are different right? So there are things that you learn with age, so you have to let them go. Don't freak out about them. Then another lesson that we learned this ayah is that falling short in the right of the prophets on a lot of cinema is actually a sin

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is a sin. Because Allah said, was thoughtful Allah who seek Allah's forgiveness for them. Why? Because they fell short in their duty to you. So falling short, in the right of the prophets, Allah Allah is that it was what a sin?

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And what are some of the rights of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam

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that when his name is mentioned, then saying Salawat right things Allah Allahu alayhi wa sallam that is right. And the other right that you can remember,

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if we don't even know if his rights are at, then how can we fulfill them, loving him or being him following his sunnah, if he has commanded us something doing that if he has forbidden us from something staying away from that, then this AI also teaches us about the importance and recommendation of Shura of consulting one another. But remember, do things that Shula is to find out about what the other has to say, do seek their opinion. And once you find out about the opinion of others, you're not obligated to follow it, to accept it.

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So when the Prophet said a lot of son was commanded to consult them, he wasn't obligated to accept their opinion, he had the choice to accept or reject. So likewise, if we consult someone don't think that you have to listen. Or if someone consulted us don't get offended if they don't take our suggestion. Consultation is basically bringing up the ideas, different points of view, different suggestions, different ways of doing the same thing. And secondly, that it is not necessary to do judo for every matter. In some cases, it is wajib. And in other cases, it is mostly

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in a situation where a matter directly affect someone, it is mandatory that we consult them.

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All right, like for example, if you want to take a class, then you have to consult with your husband.

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Okay, because it directly affects him. It's not fair that he expects that on a Saturday morning, you'd have a nice breakfast and you're not even there. It's not fair. It shouldn't be a surprise for him. No, you should consult before coming and doesn't mean that every Saturday every Sunday, you consult, once you consult it's understood that you know, as a commitment has been made, then that's a different thing.

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Then, why do you think that the Prophet sallallahu sallam was commanded to consult the companions? Why? Is there any benefit in this? Is there any benefit in consulting others? Yeah, what's the benefit?

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We get a different insight, a different view into that situation into that matter, we might not be thinking of something, but they think of it. And as a result, you know, our mind opens up, that you have so many ideas that one person can only think so much. But when you have multiple brains, multiple people, you know, with different backgrounds, different experiences, different ideas, then you have more ideas. You have more suggestions. Right now, tell the person sitting next to you one benefit of consultation. You have 15 seconds.

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All right. What's the benefit of consultation?

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Yes, when you consult someone, they feel important.

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They feel important. They feel like yeah, you know, they have acknowledged me my knowledge or my experience or my position, they feel important. When they feel important, then they will support you.

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Right, they will remain sincere to you. They will work with you. But if we don't consult people, we don't give any importance to them, then they will feel left out and they will not care about the work.

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They will not care about it at all. That we see that the Prophet sallallahu Sallam he used to consult the companion so much about

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Right, I inherited that I have not seen anyone who consults more with his companions than the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wasallam. And so much so that we learned that at the Battle of war had before going, he consulted the Companions, should we defend, or should we go out to fight, he didn't need to consultant but he still did. Because they were supposed to listen to him anyways. But he still consulted them at the Battle of whether even the Prophet sallallahu Sallam consulted at the Should we go ahead with this. And the Companions, they wholeheartedly supported him. Why? Because he consulted them.

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When you consult people about something, then it's beneficial for them to because they might get a good idea too, they might get insight into some work that they have to do.

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That people feel trusted, they feel welcomed, they feel involved. And this is something that's very important for teamwork. At the Battle of Aha, there were many events that happened after and the prophets of Lausanne continued to consult the Companions, even those who disobeyed Him who made a mistake, because they were human beings, after all, so he still consulted them, because they were important of the benefits are that the leader also has a chance to be humble. Because in our legend, remember, there's nothing such as a one man show, okay? When a group of people are doing something together, then every single member is important. So every single person must be consulted, and the

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leader has a chance to be humble. Because if you're always making decisions yourself, then it can really puff you up with pride and arrogance and lead you in the wrong direction.

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That shared responsibility, shared work, shared responsibility. And if something wrong happens, then the blame doesn't just fall on one people, but everyone feels responsible for it, then everyone takes a part in correcting the situation. But if someone has not consulted, then what do other people say? Your decision you deal with it your problem? I told you, so I told you. So.

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I remember that when we were growing up my mother, she would consult us even with regards to how we should arrange the furniture in our room,

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or in the house. Right. And I felt that this developed like a sense of responsibility, like a sense of ownership.

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Okay, like I cared about the stuff, I cared about how the things were, I was more willing of accepting them. And if the mother says, No, this is how we're going to put the furniture, I don't care for yelling and screaming, if you didn't scream, I'm gonna put you out the door.

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This is how it is. And this is how it is do back then people cannot accept people will accept when you consult them. You know, this is why they say that one of the best ways of convincing your children of doing something is like for example, you want to take them for a bath and you know that they're going to throw a tantrum that you ask them? Should we use the purple soap or the pink soap?

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Which soap which shampoo should we use in the bathtub? Do you want to do tub time? Or do you want to take a quick shower, and then the child gets to make a decision. He's involved in the decision making process. So automatically he goes into that. Otherwise, if you say, Come on shower, uptime quickly, quickly or your prayer, they're not going to listen.

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Even in larger firms, the management is the one that decides everything. But still, the employees are consulted, because you want them to feel involved. You want them to take ownership of the work. So it really brings positive feelings in people it leads to Unity.

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Then we also learn this idea that when the matter that we have to decide, then we should decide and move on, we should not just get stuck in the consultation process only. Because sometimes what happens we spent so long in just consulting that we forget to do what we have to do. Or we're so tired by the time we decide that, you know, we've lost all our passion by them and we don't want to do it. So make a decision and move on. And when can a person be like this, that for either Assumpta for the worker or Allah, that when a person trusts Allah and not themselves, many times we are unable to make decisions quickly. Because we want perfection. And we are trusting ourselves. We

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don't want anything to go wrong ever. Like for example, if we want, let's say, a particular color on the wall, then we want that color should be good for the next 1520 years. Okay, and we want that we should never ever get bored of it and we want that we should always like it. Okay, and this is why we get this sample and that sample and we consult this person and that person we look on this website and that website, that magazine and the other magazine, we keep researching

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keep researching and we cannot decide and we get so upset that, you know, we're unhappy, that no matter what color of paint you put on the wall, eventually time will come, when you will get tired of it. And even if you don't get tired of it, it will have to be replaced. No matter what piece of furniture you get, it will have to be replaced. Ultimately, no matter what appliance you get, it will fail on you someday. Even if it is a very expensive one, the best one the top of the line one, even then it will fail someday you know why? Because it's something of the dunya. So don't trust that appliance. Trust Allah.

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And when we trust Allah, then things become easier and manageable for us. So for the what color Allah Allah, this is why Allah says Romania, what could our Allah for what has to be whoever trusts Allah, then Allah is sufficient for him. Allah is enough for him.

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So whenever you have to make a decision, make it the best of your experience and knowledge. But then trust on him that Oh Allah, I've done my best, you make it easy for me.

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Because there are too many choices, aren't there? There are way too many choices out there, especially these days, you want this shader that shade? You know, sometimes if you go and look into the kind of shades and the colors and the choices you have, honestly, you'll go crazy. There are some renovations that we had to do and like yeah, Allah, please keep me away from this. You know, I don't want to spend my time and my energy in my heart into this, that I'm disappointed that the tile does not look the way I want it to. Or it's not the same shade or texture or whatever that I want it to be, you know, this dunya can never satisfy you. So trust in Allah. And when you trust him Allah,

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then you're able to accept it. And trusting Allah means that you know, you believe that Allah will take care of the matter for you, that whatever will happen is good for you is best for you. So then it's easy to accept a port one says either Contadora en Farrakhan there are Zima Tin Can a facade, Allah you and that Allah that someone who's supposed to have an opinion, then be someone of determination. Meaning if you have to make a decision then be someone who's determined for indeed the corruption is that you are indecisive, because once you're indecisive, then you lose courage, you lose confidence, you lose passion, you get derailed, and you lose focus, you really lose focus.

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So once you've decided to do something, then focus on that and trust in Allah. The Prophet said a lot of visited a companion so that he could go to his house and pray Salah over there because his house was going to be turned into a masala many people were going to come and pray in Jamar over there. So in the Prophet sallallahu Sallam God, their their companion set or profit, I have prepared some food for you. But he said, Where would you like us to pray?

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He didn't say okay, let's eat. And then let's sit and enjoy. And then it's too late to pray. So we'll just go and pray in the masjid.

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So focus, focus on what you have to do, don't get derailed by too many choices. And too many opinions and too many suggestions. Focus on the work and that you can only do when you trust on Allah. When you're begging Allah for help you don't trust yourself on the circumstances but you trust on Allah subhanaw taala.

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And one of the things that can really help us be decisive and stay firm on what we have to do is remodel didn't know he said, When booty cola goofy che in fall, you'll Zim hope that whoever is blessed in doing something, then he should adhere to it.

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Meaning that if you're doing something, and you see the blessing in it, okay, you see the blessing in it, that it is easier for you to do that you are understanding it, it is beneficial for you then keep doing it. Like for example, if every week and you're thinking, Should I do this course or should I not? Should I continue with this course or should I not if every weekend you were thinking indecision, then you won't be able to do your work, you won't be able to your assignments, you won't be able to keep your attendance, you won't be able to do it. But if you see that, Okay, I'm coming, I'm able to understand the lessons, I'm actually able to do the lesson. And it's only twice a week.

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It's something that's manageable for me, I am still able to the groceries and the cleaning at home when I got back, it's not that stressful, then you see the blessing in it, adhere to it. Stay focused on it. But if you say no, I think I should leave this and start the other course and maybe I should just drop the idea and try again next year. Then you won't be able to do anything when you've made a decision and you see that it is possible for you to do it. Then what should you do? Just do it. Then just do it.

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