Taleem al-Quran 2010 – Juz 18 – L179C

Also one more thing that when a person seeks permission in order to enter somebody's house, he can seek permission a maximum of three times not more than that. Like, for example, you ring the doorbell, no response, you ring the doorbell again, no response, you ring the doorbell again, no response three times you cannot bring into force. Or you should not rather leave your finger on the doorbell

and keep pressing it until somebody comes in. Similarly, if you're knocking, knock once, knock the second time, knock the third time. And that's it. If there is no response, then go. And there should be you know, some gap that is given between each knocking are each ringing the doorbell because of a gap has not given them sometimes it happens that the other person is in the washroom. And if you keep knocking on the door, if you keep bringing the doorbell, imagine how much stress you could cause them.

Or somebody standing in the kitchen or somebody trying to change the baby and they're you are knocking constantly on the door. She cannot come at that moment, just give some time, give some time

and the volume of the knocking.

It should also be moderate, it should also be reasonable. Similarly for person to seeking permission with saying the Salaam that should also be not too loud. And if a person is saying Salaam in order to seek permission, that should also be three times the companion said that they used to knock on the door of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam with their fingernails.

How would they knock with their fingernails? Can you try that on your desk?

Yes, that's it.

And if you knock with your knuckles do that.

What a difference or with your hand.

What a huge difference. Now if you knock with your fingernails, is that enough to inform you the person there's somebody outside? It's sufficient. Why knock and hurt your knuckles and why bang the door with your hand. Why do that? It should be in a respectful manner.

Also we see that once the Prophet sallallahu Sallam he went to the house of Sodom and rabada and he sought permission twice, after greeting with SNM or aleikum wa rahmatullah. So he said, assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullah Mia interpret. There was no response. And he did that two times. And the third time, he said, assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullah and he sought permission in order to enter, but he received no response. So when he received no response, after the third time, the prophet said, a lot of sudden went back. And upon the solid, even rabada, he came running from the house, and he said, O Messenger of Allah, I was hearing you all right. But I desired to have a less Peace and

mercy invoked upon me through your sacred tongue as often as possible, that I wanted to make sure that you know, uses for them to be more and more, I could hear you, therefore, I was replying to you in a low voice. But what's the etiquette that we learn from here? Maximum three times. Now, sometimes it happens that let's say you're calling someone

you call them, they don't pick up the phone. Now, instead of giving a gap for five or 10 or 15 minutes, you call them right back.

You hang up when it goes to the answering machine, hang up, dial again. No response, hang up, dial again. Again, and again. And there, the person comes 11 missed calls, oh, my God, what happened? And the difference is only one minute apart. Right? So you wonder what happened, call only three times. If there's no response. They're busy. They're not available.

They'll see your missed call, they'll call you back.

We learned that even a little later on. He said that he left his home for some reason. And because of the heat, the sand was so hot, that he could not properly place his feet on the ground. It was too hard to walk on. Just imagine. So he wanted to save himself. So he went to a tent that belonged to a woman. There was a tent, and it belonged to a woman and he sought permission to enter. And he said Assalamualaikum, she said enter with security. He repeated himself a second time, and she repeated the same. And then he said it the third time. And when she said it the third time, then he entered. So what do we see that a person should seek permission to enter? At least three times now

that doesn't mean you have to make it three times. But it is just to make sure you are allowed. Because perhaps he wanted her to know that I am not perhaps your relative who you could be mistaken. I'm even rumor I'm somebody else. So just make sure you know who I am. This is why perhaps he sought permission three times. But we see that we're not allowed to do that more than three times because if you do it more than three times you could be disturbing other people. Similarly, when you knock at somebody's door when you ring the doorbell, if a child comes and opens the door, don't just walk in like that.

Because it's possible that the parents have no idea.

So make sure that the person responds is a mature person.

You can tell the child, can you please go call your mom, can you please go call your dad, and then you can speak them in an enter. So the rules that we have learned thus far, first of all, that the permission should be sought in a clear way, in a respectful manner with Salaam. And secondly, it should only be three times not more than three times

another rule, that when a person seeks permission, in order to enter somebody's house, he should not stand right in front of the door. Rather, he should stand a little to the side. Why?

Why do you think

so that when the door is opened, you don't see inside the house, you don't see what is inside the house, you don't see who is inside the house, you don't see what's going on inside the house. Because remember, that the house, the people of the house, and the things that are in the house, all of them are inviolable, all of them are somebody else's, and you're not allowed to look at them, you're not allowed to have access to them without the owner's permission.

And remember that where we are not allowed to enter somebody's house without permission, we're also not allowed to enter our gaze into somebody's house without their permission. So this is why a person should not stand right in front of the door, rather, you should stand to the side. In a window, it has been recorded from the lebon buzzard who said that when the Messenger of Allah sallallahu Sallam came to someone's door, he would never stand directly in front of it. But he would always stand to the right or to the left. And he would say, I said, Mr Alaykum Assalamualaikum and that was because at that time, the houses had no covers or curtains over their doorways.

At that time, the houses they had no curtains, or covers over the doorways, there was like an open thing with just one door when you open the door. That's it, the whole house could be seen inside. Because no one should I mean, he has reported that a man came to see the Messenger of Allah sallallahu sallam, and he sought permission for entry. And he was standing right in front of the door. So the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said to him stand aside, the object of the commandment for seeking permission is to prevent casting of looks inside the house. The reason why we are commanded to seek permission is that we don't see what's inside the house, we don't see who is inside the

house, what's going on inside the house. And remember that it's a great offense to peek into somebody's house, without their permission to look into somebody's house, to invade their privacy, to peek into their private bedroom, and see what kind of furniture they have. This is not permissible. And so the law knew he said that someone peeked into the profits of the lawless Adam's House from outside.

And at that time, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam had an arrow in his hand, and the Prophet approach towards him as if he was going to strike it into his stomach.

This is how upset he was. This is how wrong it is to peek into somebody else's house. And sometimes people just have this curiosity. They're walking by the door is open, perhaps somebody's standing at the door, and they'd be looking Okay, what color is the ceiling? And what color are the walls? And what color is the floor and what's going on inside? Or from the windows? Or perhaps from the backyard? People are trying to look into other people's houses? This is not correct. We are not allowed to look into other people's houses as well. If you're not allowed to enter yourself physically, how can you enter your gaze, it's not permissible. We also learned that once the Prophet

sallallahu Sallam said that if a person looks into your house without your permission, and you throw a stone at him, and it puts his eye out, there'll be no blame on you.

Just imagine Bukhari and Muslim

that if somebody is looking into your house peeking into your house, and you end up throwing a stone at him, and it puts his eye out, you're not blameworthy. You're not at fault.

Because he's invading your privacy, he's not allowed to do that. And sometimes we see that people like for example, they will go to somebody's house, the doors closed or a particular bedroom, they'll just quickly open the bedroom and see what's inside us inside what's going on. Cookie location, close the door

or quickly open the door the washroom and see how big is the washroom? What are the tiles like and close the door quickly. This is not the correct way.

And we see that we're not allowed to look into other people's houses from any angle, from outside from any angle neither from the roof nor through a glass door, nor through a window nor through binoculars. Any other way. This is not permissible. And notice it hasn't been said that you put your blinds down all the time you have your curtains drawn all the time, and that your door should be closed and sealed all the time so that you don't get any fresh air. You don't get any sunlight. No. You have the right to open your curtains. You have the right to open your

window, you have the right to slightly open your door even if you wish to, and other people who are outside, they're not allowed to look inside. And if they dare to look inside, you can actually physically injure them, and you will not be held accountable according to this religion. So we see that people should have the right to live the way they want to insulate the house. Because sometimes people impose such difficulties as well keep the curtains closed all the time. Or you have to wear the hijab. Now obviously, if a person is living in a place where there's people going outside all the time, unintentionally, even the people side falls in. But if you're in a place where perhaps the

other building is distant, or the other house is very far off, and nobody can see inside, and that's if they really peek in, then you should be able to open your windows, you should be able to open the curtains and get some fresh air and get some sunlight so that you know stale air is not trapped inside your house. And you get the necessary vitamin D as well. Because unfortunately, we think of hijab as something that a woman has to be covered all the time inside the house and outside the house in her bedroom. This is an unpractical way of living, unrealistic way of living.

I remember there was this woman once that somebody told me about. And she was such that she had to cover all the time basically, because of the house that she was living in and she became pregnant and she was very, very low in vitamin D. And her bones have become extremely weak. And the doctors told her that yes, with all these supplements, you need sunlight, you need sunlight. So expose your body a little bit, expose your face, expose your hair inside the house, you know, open the window, perhaps go to a park at a time when nobody's there, just expose your arms to the sun a little bit. And she could not and eventually she broke her spine. And she was expecting. So this is not a

natural way of living. Our Deen is not unrealistic. When measure on a confident in and how large a person should have freedom inside the house.

Other people are told, don't look in. Because if people don't even have this freedom inside the house, then women will not be able to do anything. You have to have that freedom, you should be able to open your curtains and open your windows to get some sunlight to get some fresh air.

We learned that the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said that the whole Bizarro fella, even when you have already asked to look into a house, then there is no need to seek permission.

When you have already cast your gaze inside the house, and there is no need to seek permission. The point of seeking permission is that you do not look at somebody things without their permission. So along with seeking permission, we're also not allowed to look inside the house.

Another very important rule that it is not permissible that a person goes to somebody's house. And he begins to go through their private possessions. Because remember, it's the person, it's the people, it's the things as well, it's the house as well as the house and whatever it has. So if let's say you've gone into somebody's house, you're visiting, they've called you over. And there happens to be a phone on the table. And you're sitting, you're waiting for them to come you pick up the phone and you're like, Oh, interesting. They know this person as well, wow, they have this person on their contacts as well. And they begin to go through their messages, not permissible.

Similarly, a diary, or notebook, a computer. These are other people's personal belongings, we're not allowed to look into them. Similarly, a person just goes into the kitchen opens the refrigerator, or what's inside interesting. They're not looking open the cabinets quickly and close them, open the door quickly and close it. This is not the right way. The house and whatever is inside the house is all sacred. If they have made you sit in a particular place, then stay there, don't go upstairs, don't go into the bedroom, unless they have allowed you to do that.

And similarly, it is not permissible that a person listens to their private conversations. That for example, you're standing outside, there's an argument going inside. And there you are, you knock at the door, or you are about to knock at the door in my argument. Let me see what they're saying. And you'll begin to pay attention to what's going on this is not permissible. Similarly, you're sitting and you see phone messages, and you just press Play button and they're their messages are being played. This is not permissible. You cannot invade the privacy of other people, and the privacy of other people is inside their house. The Prophet sallallahu Sallam said, I mean personal Islam and

Marie de Kumara yarny of the beauty of a person's Islam is that he leaves whatever does not concern him.

So what if somebody cooked pasta yesterday? So what if they have towels in their washroom in a cabinet? Why are you looking over there? Why are you going through their cabinets and their drawers?

So if a person is a Muslim, then he will not be concerned about things that have no concern with him. We also see that when a person enters the house of his mother or sister, he has to take permission.

When a person enters the house of his mother or sister, then he has to take permission. So far, we had been learning about general things, anyone else's house, whether they're your relatives, or they're not your relatives. Now, let's say you go to your mother's house, a man goes to visit his sister, can you just walk in? No, he has to take permission. You cannot say Oh, it's my sister. He can also it's my mother. No, he has to pay permission.

We see that the Prophet sallallahu Sallam he was questioned by a man who said, O Messenger of Allah, shall I ask permission of my mother to enter? He said, Yes. The man said, I live with her in the house. He said, I live with her in the same house. The Prophet sallallahu Sallam said, Ask her permission. The man said I am her servant. I mean, I also serve her all the time, I cook very clean for everything. The Prophet sallallahu Sallam said, Ask her permission to hibou Antara her Orianna would you wish to see her naked? You wouldn't want to do that the man said no to the profits out of audits of himself, then ask her permission. Again, we see that the woman is not forced to dress up

appropriately all of the time inside the house. Because let's say a woman is nursing. A woman is not dressed that property, she's wearing her bad clothes. And she has the freedom to do that inside her house. So if her son even comes like that he's not allowed to come, he should definitely seek permission before coming in. Now, these days, houses are such that you have the living room, then you have the private bedrooms, and then you have the washrooms that are separate. And each room has a door to add a lock to it. And typically, if a person is changing, where would they be in the washroom, or they'd be in their bedroom, and they would have the door closed. So when you enter the

house, does that nice oh, you say Assalamu alaykum that your mother knows you're here.

Let's say the parents have given keys to all of the children. Now, if you have the keys, and you knock the door or you ring the doorbell, and your mother has to come from upstairs, downstairs to open the door for you. That doesn't make sense. When you have the keys. What will you do?

Open the door, go in, say assalamu Aleikum out loud so that everybody knows your home. And when you have to enter into your mother's room, then every time you enter a man, every time he has to enter into his mother's room, what does he have to do? knock at the door, take permission, because that is a private area, perhaps she's lying down, perhaps her leg is being exposed. Perhaps she's not comfortable in the way that she's dressed up that her son should see her. This is basically for an adult son inside the house, you understand that the adult son inside the house is not allowed to go wherever just walk into his sister's room walk into his mother's room like that. Similarly, when you

go into your sister's room, for a man to go into his sister's room, same thing, he has to take permission

of the 11 material that he said you have to seek permission to enter upon your mothers and sisters. This is what he said you have to seek permission to enter upon your mothers and your sisters. And also another very important rule that when a man comes to his own house, even he should make his presence known.

Although in this ayah what has been mentioned, when you enter into a house that is not yours, your mother's your sisters, anybody else's house where your wife does not live, but other people if you have to take permission.

However, when a person enters into his own house as well, again, what does he need to do? make his presence known over there? He doesn't need to seek permission, what does he need to do? make his presence known to his wife to his daughters?

Even Jude, he said, I set her apart, does a man have to seek permission to enter upon his wife? He said no, it can be understood that this is not obligatory, but it is better for him to let her know that he is coming in so as to not startle her, so as to not frighten her. Because she may be in a state where she does not want him to see her. It's possible. Everybody, you know, is comfortable in certain ways and is uncomfortable in other ways. So although she is the wife, even he before he enters, it's better for him that he should make his presence known. And sometimes it happens that you go to the house very quietly, and you go sit there you go into the kitchen and nobody heard you

coming in. And all of a sudden people are worried What's that noise who's in the kitchen what's going on and they get so worried. So even when you're going into your own house, make your presence known. Even Miss Ruth wife, Dana Padilla and she said that when Abdullah

Came back meaning of delivering was rude when he would come back from some errand, and he would reach the door, he would clear his throat,

you understand, he will go,

he will clear his throat, because he did not want to come suddenly and find us in a state he disliked.

Because it's possible the person is sitting in a particular way or doing something that you don't want to see them in. So even when you would come to his house after an errand, he would make his presence known.

From another nation, we learned that a person should not enter his house, like someone who is going to catch a thief

or something, sometimes you're like, let me just go in and see what they're doing. I won't tell them, I'll catch them. I'll catch them watching that TV and I'll catch them on that phone, I'll catch them on the computer. No, you're not a thief. So enter into your house with confidence and make your presence known.

When a thief goes, and he does not make his presence known at all, he does not seek permission, he does not say Salaam.

And we see that the way of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam with regards to this was that whenever he and his companions, they return from an expedition, he would not let the people return to their homes immediately. What would they do, they would go to the masjid first. And when the people would reach the masjid, the news would spread, that these people have come back. And so what would happen their families at home, they could get ready for them.

And it's very, very important that a person mentally prepares their family like that. Similarly, it was discouraged that a person should arrive at his house during the night,

during the night, because during the night, people are about to go to sleep. And all of a sudden somebody just walks in or somebody knocks at the door, it could be frightening for them.

We see that the prophets are alongside him, he once arrived at Medina at daytime. And he made his candle set outside Medina, he made his candles that were outside Medina. So that the people would wait. And then in the afternoon, they would go to their families when the families would be prepared for them.

And this applies to

every person as well, not just for the men, but also for the women, it's possible that you're traveling. So before coming, what should you do? Let them know, because we have this thing about giving surprises.

Don't tell them it will be a surprise, I'll just walk in, I'll just show up at the door. And the other person, they could be frightened.

Like sometimes people like doing that giving big surprises. When they'll travel from one country to the other. They will not tell their parents and all of a sudden they'll show up at the door and the mother. She's frightened. And she's like I'm a heart patient. Be careful next time.

So this is something very, very important. Similarly, within the house, even when you go from one room to the other, your brother's room or the brother goes into the sister's room, make your presence known seek permission, tell them from before you're coming, don't just walk in, because sometimes, you know your sister is studying inside the room. And there you open the door and say, Hi, I'm here.

And there should become so scared. This is not the proper way. Let your presence be known before you come before you open the door.

Obviously, there's an exception to that. And what is that exception?

thing about it? What could that exception be?

Okay, when can you enter somebody's room, somebody's private area somebody's house without permission. In the case of emergency, like for example, if there's fire in the house, you would say, may I enter? No.

In case of emergency, then obviously you have to save the other person. Therefore you do not need to take permission.

And it is also important that when a woman she goes to meet another woman, or a man goes to meet another man, what should he do? seek permission because sometimes you say I'm a woman, and my sister is a woman. I'm just going into her room. What's the big deal? No.

Or I a woman I'm going to this woman's office, this woman's bedroom, woman's house, no big deal. No, you have to take permission. Because where a woman has the parts of her body which have to be covered in front of men. She also has parts of the body which must be covered in front of other women. And she has that right of privacy. So just because she's your sister just because she's your mother in law, your daughter in law does not mean you enter without permission. We see that Amelia she said that we were for women who would often visit our shuttle dinner and and before we entered we would seek permission. If she gave us permission we would enter otherwise we would leave.

We also see that some women they once came to the diner and they sought permission to enter. And she said no. Only the one among you who knows the etiquette of how to seek permission should ask. So one of them said that she knew the etiquette and she was given the permission to ask

So she said Salaam and then she saw permission and then I should have allowed them to enter. So what do we see that these rules are not just for men, but they're also for who? For women, they're also for us.

So to summarize, what do we learn, if a person goes to a house that does not belong to Him, where his wife does not live, or you can say where her husband does not live, where other people live.

So it could be your relatives, it could be your friends, it could be your sister, it could be your brother, it could be a house where people are living in a joint family system, as well. When you enter into a house such as that, what do you have to do? seek permission and make your presence known. And say the Salam

within the house, if you have to go from one room to the other, from one floor to the other, and there are people of the opposite gender, in front of whom you have to wear the hijab. For example, like for example, sister in law, brother in law, in that case, what should be done, permission should be taken, especially on the part of men. Why? Because women are the ones who are sitting perhaps without hijab, and they need to cover themselves up before the men come in.

Similarly, if you are entering into somebody's private space into their bedroom, then what do you need to do? seek permission before entry, especially when the door is closed. Just because the door is closed does not mean you can open and walk in No, the door is closed, that means that they want you out. So before entering you have to seek permission, including entering into your parents room or entering into your siblings room, or for a father entering into his daughter's room.