Sahih Bukhar – Kitabu al-Adab, Hadith 6041

Taimiyyah Zubair


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The speakers discuss various topics related to evil behavior, including goddamn, sin, and evil behavior. They stress the importance of obeying parents' commands and avoiding causing harm to a parent. They also emphasize the importance of praying for a woman or man who is unable to do so and avoiding disrespect. The speakers use the example of The Lion King to highlight the negative impact of women on society and emphasize the importance of understanding one's heart and being careful in small decisions. They also discuss the benefits of women being able to serve in the military and the need for women to be held accountable for their behavior.

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Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu

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It sounds like nobody's here.

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Are you here? Okay.

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busy week. Yeah. Mashallah, at the end of the week, on Friday evening is especially hard because that's when you just want to relax. So my last point I'll reward you for choosing to come here, oftentimes right after work or right after class. Yeah. Is it so? Straight from work or straight from school? Yeah, Masha, Allah, Allah, Allah reward you.

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Okay, our other Billahi min ash shaytani r rajim Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim, WA Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah Karim rubbish rocklea assadi away acidity MD, Dr. tam melissani of kuqali Allahumma Nickleby was said that listen, he was rude to him at the Colby mania but I mean, so we're doing kuttabul other the book of manners and inshallah we'll do Bab number six today, which is Bab ruco Qawwali Dany min el caballo

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Rococo Valley Dane. Disa disobeying the parents or lack of beautiful ness towards parents. This is Miguel Cabrera from the Kabbalah. Kabbalah it as in the major sense. So remember that when it comes to sin sins are off levels there are certain sins which are minor sins, all right, and then there are other sins which are major sins. How do you define major sins major sins are those sins for which explicitly we have been told that this is how long? Alright, the word How long has been used in the Quran or in the Sunnah? How long as in this is prohibited. So if it's prohibited and a person does it anyway, then that would be committing a major sin, all right. Likewise, a major sin is a sin

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for which there is a warning of severe punishment in the hereafter. All right, or there is a legal punishment for that in this world by for example, for theft, there is a legal punishment right for murder, there is a legal punishment. Likewise, when it comes to associating partners with a loss of penalty for that there is a warning of severe punishment in the hereafter. All right. So all of these sins are considered what major and any sin that is of a lesser degree than that would be considered a minor sin. All right. So here, Mr. Bahari is saying that disobeying one's parents is not a minor sin. What is it, it is a major sin and this is something that we really need to think

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about, right? Because when it comes to big sins, you know, we think about murder theft, and we're like, you know, what, I don't do that kind of stuff, right? Alhamdulillah but when it comes to interacting with our parents, and, you know, obeying them or disobeying them that this is something that we have to be very, very careful about, right? Because disobeying because disobeying the parents is a major sin. So the word Roku, which has been used for disobedience, the word Roku, Roku is from the word aka, I am puff puff and that is basically to cut something, alright. Oq means to cut, alright. And output is used for the act of being unkind. All right towards one's parents, all

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right, either of them the mother or the father. So basically, this is any word, any action, any gesture,

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by which the father or the mother feels hurt.

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Okay, they feel hurt. They feel other. All right. Whether it is that, for example, the mother has said something to her to her son or daughter and they're refusing All right, or that, you know that their son or daughter is very rude. All right, they yell at them, they're very harsh with them, they roll their eyes at them, okay? Or that they completely ignore them, they don't see them at all. They they yell at them over the phone, they degrade them, you know, they look down at them, they belittle them through different ways, any such behavior whether it comes out whether it is a gesture or it is a statement or it is an action, that causes hurt to the parents. All right, at the word, the other

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okay that meaning they feel hurt. So this is this is defined as Roku. And then in the broader sense Roku is you could say distance

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Obedience toward

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sorry, disobedience of parents or being unbeautiful towards them. Okay. So earlier we learned about bid bid is being dutiful, being kind being good towards one's parents. And the opposite of bid is rook. Okay?

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All right. Now when it comes to obeying the parents, of course, if the parents are telling their child to do something good, then that's understandable, right? But what if you're stuck between, you know, something that you want to do? All right, and then it's such an on the other hand is something that your parents want to do? Right. And and they're not?

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Basically it? You know, you're in a dilemma, right? Because, you know, it's, it's a conflict, right? Or, for instance, your parents are asking you to do something which you believe is wrong.

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All right, like, for example, somebody calls for them, actually, that doesn't happen anymore, because

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everybody has their own phones, right.

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But you get the point, right? That they're asking you to do something which is wrong. So what do you do in situations like that? So remember, there's basically four possibilities. Okay, there's four possibilities. The first possibility is that there is a permissible thing, a MOBA matter, okay?

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A permissible thing that you want to do.

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All right, like, for example, you want to go out and see a friend? Are you allowed to do that? islamically? Absolutely. Right, you're allowed to do that. And as you're about to go out, your mother says, I really need you to be here. Because I have friends coming over, I have people coming over your uncle's coming over, whoever and I need you to be here. You cannot I don't want you to go. Okay. Most of the time, she's like, okay, fine, I'll manage. But now she says, No, I need you to be here. so in this situation, what, what is it that a person should do?

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Exactly, you're supposed to leave the MOBA the permissible, and give preference to what your parents want you to do.

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All right. This doesn't mean that you have no life of your own. Now, this is only when they directly ask you. All right. And remember that parents in general are, you know, they're very generous, they want their children to be happy, right? They want their children to enjoy their life. I mean, parents have been working their entire life. Why so that their children live a better life? Right? It's no parents wish to make their child's life miserable, right? in general. So in such a situation when you would leave the MOBA and give preference to your parents wish, right? The second possibility is that there's something mazahub something preferable, something recommended, or

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islamically recommended that you want to do. All right. But then on the other hand, your parents are asking you to do something different. Okay. Like for example, is it recommended to read to recite sosele? Calvin Friday? Yes, absolutely. Now, think about this use, you sit down to recite total calf and your dad called you to do something for him. All right. So you're like, Okay, I can recite a little calf later. Right? You can. So you leave the recitation at that time. Why? To listen to your dad.

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All right. And if let's say, that was the only time that you were going to get in your day to recite to Luke I have because then you're going to be at work, and then you have an appointment, and then there's something else and something else. All right. And you know that this is the only window you have. And you know that if you listen to your data at this time, you're gonna end up missing the recitation of Suzuka have done what?

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than what Yes.

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You still exactly you will still obey your father at that time. Now, of course, we should communicate, right? That that isn't really urgent because I really want to complete so look I have right now if I don't, then I'll miss it. inshallah, I can do this for you after. And if he says, fine, okay. But if he says, No, I want this done right now. I need you to go pick up the shipment for me or go, you know, drop this off for me, I need this done now. Right. Okay. The third possibility is that there is something for PKI fire. And we discussed this earlier for the PKI fire is something that is an obligation on a community. All right, like for example.

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Okay, but be more realistic, more practical.

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What did you say?

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Okay, no, something else begins with Jim as well. Exactly. janaza prayer, right. So for example,

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You want to go for janessa prayers. And at that time your mother wants you to take her somewhere else, for example, right? Or that is the time, every week that you give to your parents. All right? Now, again, you can communicate with them, you can ask them that, that, you know, there is a janessa mom, there's a janessa. And if they say, excellent, go for it. All good. But if they say, No, we need you here right now. All right, then in that case, what are you going to do? You're going to leave the funky fire? And you're going to listen to your parents? right?

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Exactly, exactly. This would be in a situation where there is somebody else to perform that action. Right? And if there is nobody else there, it's only you.

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You know, you know, for example, in certain communities, for example, if someone passes away, there's only one or two individuals who know how to give the give the hosel to the deceased, right? And if they say that, no, we're not available, we're busy than who's who's going to give it right. So, you have to make that then in that situation, it would be sort of like a fall down on them, because there is nobody else who is capable. All right, which brings us to the fourth possibility, which is fathering which is something that is an obligation on you as an individual, your personal responsibilities that are on you, from Allah subhanaw taala. All right, whether this is your duty to

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pray five times a day or too fast, you know, that your personal data, which is at the level of fault, or it is, you know, given your, your relationships for so for example, for a woman, her husband, for a man, you know, his his wife,

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you know, for example, he has the obligation to provide for her, right? The woman, she has the obligation to listen to her husband. So, when it comes to fall dying, then what do you do?

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What do you do?

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Exactly, the rain will take preference over the parents wish, however, even when it comes to fault, if you're able to delay it.

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All right, then that would be good. Like, for example, when it comes to Salah, right, you're about to pray your load and your mother calls you.

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Okay, then then what would be good that you go listen to your mother first, and then pray load. But if load is about to end, you you miss your load, then you let her know at least that you're praying, and you let her know, at least as to why you're praying at this time.

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Okay, so about open validation. Yes, go ahead.

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Exactly. Good question that if you're performing a voluntary prayer and your parents call you, then you're supposed to break your voluntary prayer. Because voluntary prayer is not for nine.

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What is it? It comes in? mazahub. Right? You're in the middle of it. It's okay. You can break voluntary prayer for matters like that. There's no harm. In fact, a man was once performing voluntary prayer, of course, and the Prophet sallallahu wasallam called him and the men didn't go and then later on, you know, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam asked him that, why didn't you come when I called you? Right? So even if the Prophet sallallahu wasallam called someone they were supposed to break their voluntary prayer,

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That's, that's the thing, you know, with your children. You tell them that when I'm praying, you wait. But you don't set that with your parents. No, with your with your parents remember that you are at a much lower level. Right? They have a higher status over you. We are supposed to be humble before our parents, right. So you break your voluntary prayer or, you know, you can always communicate with them also. Right.

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Okay, so about this. Remember it says Paula, who are Abdullah heavner Ahmed in an interview sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Abdullah bin Armando said that it is from the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam. What is from the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam that ryukoku allauddin means that disobeying the parents is from the major sense. So here mom Buhari is basically alluding to a certain Hadees without bringing the entire text. All right. That Hadith is mentioned elsewhere in Sahih Bukhari and also in other books and that Hadith is that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that the major sins are shake, associate associating partners with Allah

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ryukoku Paladin disobeying parents

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botlane ups, killing an innocent soul then

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aluminium homos, which is a false source.

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And there is another Hadees reported elsewhere, also reported by Herbalife and armor, in which we learned that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, that there are three people whom Allah will not even look at on the Day of Judgment.

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Allah will not even look at them on the Day of Judgment. Why? Because Allah will be so displeased with them, you will be angry with them. And who are these people the first person is Allah koulibaly de he,

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the person who is rude who is disobedient to his parents just does not listen to them.

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Secondly, a person who is addicted to alcohol, mood mineral hungry.

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And then thirdly, a woman who is manana, the person who is constantly reminding others of the favors that they have done to them.

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I gave you this I gave you that you owe it to me. Remember when I gave you that favor?

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So these three people a lot will not even look at them on the Day of Judgment. Right so you can see that the first is the person who is very disobedient to his parents. So now the Hardy sedima mahadi has brought here let's look at that had done Sri Aurobindo Hopson had done a ban on Mon Sol. Anil Musa. Yep. And what rod Anil Marathi I need to be sallallahu alayhi wa sallam a call. So what rod related from Molina and this is Malia Robin Sharma that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said in the Lucha held Rama Aleikum that Indeed Allah has forbidden on you ruku call mahat disobedience to your mother's woman normal wear hats, and stinginess. Okay, it's an expression and it's been

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translated over here as refusing to fulfill your obligations and taking what is not lawfully yours.

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Well, what the hell bayonets and burying your daughters alive? What can you halochem and Allah dislikes for you, Dean will call

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to indulge in useless talk while kathrada su al and asking too many questions. And what a lot I tell Mel and wasting wealth. So three things Allah has forbidden on you and three things Allah dislikes for you and of the things that Allah has forbidden on you is what the first thing is disobedience to.

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disobedience to mothers. All right.

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You see the word almohads? Okay. almohads, which is the word used over here.

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On mahat, Omaha, you there's another word which is used for own for mother which is own, right? Remember that only applies to mother whether the mother is of a cat or a dog or, you know, animal human doesn't matter. Okay? But oma is used for alcohol only. Okay, meaning intelligent beings. All right. So, cuckoo. mahat, meaning your mother's.

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And as human beings as intelligent beings, it doesn't benefit you that you should be disobeying your mother's. So Allah has forbidden that to you. Now, does this mean that disobeying the father is okay.

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No, I mean, disobeying the father is also wrong. But the mother is mentioned because many times

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the mother is disobeyed more than the father, isn't it? Because people typically are afraid of their father. And when it comes to the mother, they will disobey her a lot. And also, if you think about it, fathers managed to get their rights from their children or, you know, get their children to do what they want. But mothers are unable to do that. They don't have that, you know, ability to, you know, compel or force their children, right, or get their rights out of them. And this also shows that disobeying either of the parents is bad, but disobeying the mother is worse.

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Right? disobeying the mother is worse. If a person disobeyed their father, yes, that is also very wrong. But if they disobey their mother, that is much worse. Why do you think so?

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Why do you think so?

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which are these?

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Exactly, exactly that the mother's right is basically three times greater than that of the fathers. Right? So if the mother is right is three times greater and if the child is disobeying the mother and then that means that they're doing an action that is

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Much worse, right? So Rococo Omaha, this is forbidden the second action that is forbidden which we learned this hadith is menorah wear hats. Okay? manner what hat? This is actually two words

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all right the first word is minor. What does minor mean? manaro?

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Manor Aloma la manera Lima our plate.

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Okay, exactly. menorah to stop or to forbid, right? So manner is to refuse Okay, so this is like a person always saying no No, no.

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Okay meaning they refuse to give anything they're not generous and especially they refuse to give what is due

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okay. And what that word means and okay. Hat hat is also forbidden. What is hat hat is from eata Okay, it in the Quran Allah says what attadale kotoba hakuho it give

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in the Quran Allah says cool hair to boo Hannah comb hair to you will bring your evidence okay. So happy means you give me

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so happy basically is one give me give me give me

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all right, meaning always demanding.

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And especially demanding what is not your right.

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So you see the combination of manner and hat. Now, this is pure stinginess that a person just doesn't want to give anything. All right. And they also want every thing for themselves. All right, this is what is also called sure in the colon, or my new NFC for like all mostly home. Okay, that a person is very selfish that they want from others. But when it comes to giving, they don't want to give at all. They're takers, not givers at all. Okay.

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So Allah has forbidden this kind of attitude that you are greedy, and you don't give that that you are

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you know, always just concerned about taking and never giving. Okay? So if this is forbidden, this means don't beg. Don't reject.

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Right? Rather be generous. Right? And don't insist that you want to say something. Okay. And the third thing that is forbidden and this Hadees we learn is what Dell Burnett's what they've been at burying the daughters, okay, meaning burying your daughter's alive. The word what in the Quran, we learned what even mo ooda to su ealert meaning when the girl who was buried alive will be asked on the day of judgment that why were you buried, Allah will not ask the people who buried her.

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you know,

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sometimes the criminal is not even asked, because his crime is so evident. Right? Or it shows how how much a sin is disapproved of that alone will not even

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you know, acknowledge that person by asking him directly, the victim will be asked, right? So what del Burnett burying dotnet the daughter is alive. Remember that? A lot of times when we think about arrows were like, you know, they used to kill her daughters all the time. The first thing we need to understand is that this was not a widespread practice. Okay. All Arabs did not do this.

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Okay, it was not common. It was not a a common practice that people would bury their daughters. There were individuals who did this. And there were also other individuals who would go and rescue girls.

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Like, for example, we learn about this man sarasa All right. He would, whenever he would find out that someone is thinking about burying his daughter, all right, because they would also bury, you know, little girls, not just infants. Okay.

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So he would go to them and give them money. Basically, ransom the girl. All right, that you know what, take this money from me whatever you want. And just don't don't kill your daughter. Give her to me. I'll take care of her. So this man saw saw urban Nigeria. He actually saved many girls. And the people who did

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you know, bury their daughters. They did it for different reasons. Some would do it out of fear of poverty, that how are we going to feed so many mouths? And boys were like an asset to them and girls were a burden. So they thought, you know, just get rid of her right away or sometimes because of poverty. It is that that some people would actually

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Do this that. As soon as, as a woman would go into labor, they would actually dig a hole.

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And as soon as the baby was born, and if it was a girl, they would just bury her right away.

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They wouldn't even wait for a day or two. No, they would bury her right away. And if somehow, you know, they, they did not bury her in the girl, you know, the mother refused. Sometimes that happens, right? And so they would wait for a time that they could take the girl away from the mother. All right. So for example, we learned that

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this man, he said to his wife that, you know, get our daughter ready for us. She was about six years old or so I want to take her to visit the family, he took her and he threw her into a well, just like the brothers of use of our lesson and tried to do with her. So they would do it out of fear of poverty. And also they would do it out of embarrassment. And some people would actually actually do it out of pure hatred of women.

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All right, karahan, meaning out of hatred and dislike of women and girls, meaning they did not like them.

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And this is very interesting, actually. Because this kind of attitude also existed at that time in some people. All right, just as it exists today as well. I mean, there are some people who are actual woman haters, right. So just like that, there were people at that time. So for example, we learned about this men face have been awesome. He actually later embraced Islam. But he came to the Prophet sallallahu, where it isn't him and told him that he had killed several daughters. So he was asking him that What do I do? So the Prophet sallallahu Sallam told him to free a slave for each daughter that he had killed.

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So he said that I have camels. So the Prophet sallallahu Sallam told him that slaughter a camel for each one that you killed, meaning offer some sacrifice some kind of compensation, right? So some kind of video.

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And in another version, we learned that this man confessed that he had killed a daughter's eight. All right, and why is it that he killed them? There's different reasons it is said that there was a feud. Basically, what happened is that somebody attacked him, he was very wealthy. And they took his family including his wife and his children, his daughters as captives, right. And then eventually, they came to some agreement. And they agreed that the other with the other party that will just give, you know, the right to decide to your family, they can go to whoever they want, right? So his wife actually chose her captive over him. All right, she's, for whatever reason, she decided to stay

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with her captive and not go back to her husband. And this made him so angry that he took an oath that if I have any daughter, I'm going to kill her. And that's what he did that he killed a daughters because he hated girls. But remember that this was not something widespread Okay, there were individuals who did this and there were other individuals who would rescue girls also. Alright. And because some people think that you know, the Prophet sallallahu wasallam came to you know, they don't focus more and more on Akita like the Prophet sallallahu Sallam came to correct our beliefs. They say that, you know, he came to make certain reforms and and of those reforms was to rescue

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women. That was definitely a benefit. But that was not the primary goal for the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. All right, his main goal was to save people from hellfire. Right? And that is only possible if they recognize who their Lord is.

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Okay, so these three things are lost count Allah has forbidden for us and then three things Allah, Allah dislikes for us, Khadija.

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All right, and remember that when Allah dislikes something for us, that also means that we're not allowed to do that.

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Alright, if Allah does not like it for us, well, we cannot say well, it's not haram right. Now, it just means that we should not do it. And what are the things that I love dislikes for us, the first thing is deal will call

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Alright, what is the war called killer means? It was said, All right. And Carla means he said,

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meaning that a person is constantly talking about

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this was said and that was said, and he said this and she said that, okay. Meaning a person is always talking about what others have said.

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All right. Now, what do you think? Is this something dangerous, or is this something perfectly fine?

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What do you think?

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Yeah. How is it dangerous?

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mic on please.

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There's a high risk and sort of starting to engage in forbidden things like back

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Very good backbiting adding lies, because you know, then if you want to make it more juicy, then you have to add more detail. And you know, then people develop this bad habit, right? So it leads to gossip, it leads to backbiting What else?

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Yeah, it can lead to enmity between people. And

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absolutely, that, you know, for example, if somebody tells you that somebody was talking about you, all of a sudden, you will you're like, what were they saying? Isn't it? Were they saying something nice or something bad? And you know, you get self conscious? And if you find out that what they said was not appropriate, then you have a bad feeling. All right. So

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this Dean will call. Alright, first of all indicates talking excessively.

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Alright, talking a lot, because if a person is,

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you know, you'll only talk about what other people have said, when you run out of talking about real stuff. Right? When you don't have something concrete, something solid to discuss. Right? So when you've been talking for too long, then you say okay, yeah, so you know, what's up, right? So what else is going on? Right? So this leads to so this means talking excessively, is something disliked, right? Because it leads to lying, backbiting, spreading gossip and falling into many errors, you're putting yourself at risk. The Prophet sallallahu already sent him said that guff I believe he is man. And you had decided we could name a Sameer that it is sufficient

00:31:43--> 00:31:55

sin for a person meaning it is sufficient for for a person to be sinful, meaning it is enough of a sign that a person is sinful, that they narrate everything that they have heard.

00:31:57--> 00:32:09

Meaning, meaning, even if they overhear someone talking, they go and pass that on. Right? So this is something sinful, and this is why we are encouraged to either speak something good or remain silent. Right.

00:32:11--> 00:32:15

Then P and wacol. Specifically, also indicates

00:32:16--> 00:32:24

talking about the statements of people. All right, and we're not talking about average people we're talking about,

00:32:25--> 00:32:59

you know, people have certain positions, okay. Even when it comes to religious scholars or, or, you know, politicians or anything like that, because when you're always talking about, oh, this is that scholars opinion, or this is what that Imam said, and this is what that Masjid says, right? And this is what my teacher said. And you're bringing differing opinions, you're creating conflict, you're creating this unpleasantness, and you're making religion seem very

00:33:00--> 00:33:21

Pardon? difficult. Right? So this is also something disliked, that we're always you know, talking about that scholars had this that scholars had this but your scholars on your Imam is wrong, right? We have to be careful about this attitude. And these days, it's so easy to make this mistake.

00:33:22--> 00:33:40

Now, this does not mean that quoting people or quoting you know, different opinions or different perspectives is wrong. That is correct, where it is appropriate, right, but when it's done excessively, excessively, then then it can become problematic, right?

00:33:41--> 00:33:47

So what we see is that people will call is not a habit of good people. Right?

00:33:49--> 00:33:52

The third thing that we see that a lot of dislikes for us is no

00:33:54--> 00:34:04

second thing or third thing. Yes. Second, second thing. The first thing that a lot dislikes for us is below up all right. The second thing that I love dislikes for us is cathro to suit

00:34:05--> 00:34:18

what is kathrada su l? Asking excessively? Okay, a lot of Sewol Alright, so Alice, two question to ask and Catherine is excessively

00:34:20--> 00:34:28

and this includes first of all asking for people's wealth. Okay, meaning begging,

00:34:29--> 00:34:33

not just asking once but asking again and again and again and again.

00:34:34--> 00:34:45

Alright, so remember that begging is something that is not okay. All right, and asking for people's wealth without need is something impermissible?

00:34:46--> 00:35:00

All right. Remember that when it comes to asking people for money, then it is permissible with certain conditions. Okay, there's three conditions, that If ever a person feels that they need to ask for

00:35:00--> 00:35:09

Some financial help. All right, then it's permissible with with three conditions. First of all, that a person does not humiliate himself.

00:35:10--> 00:35:27

Okay, that a person does not humiliate himself. What does that mean? That you know a person, you know, pretends that they're really desperate, they make such facial expressions, or they really put themselves down or they put their family down, and they really,

00:35:29--> 00:35:52

you know, show that they're in a miserable condition. While that may be true, they don't have to humiliate themselves, right. Sometimes, you know, people will say things like, I'll never forget this, I will forever remember this. And you know, you don't need to humiliate yourself, right, ask with dignity. The second thing is only ask for what is needed and not more.

00:35:54--> 00:36:17

Right only asked for what is for what a person needs, and not more. So for example, if a person, you know, has a bill to pay off immediately, and they don't have money, and they asked their brother that, you know, could you please help me I really need to pay this bill off. I don't have enough money right now. So you ask for what? Only as much as you need. All right, not more than that.

00:36:19--> 00:36:42

And the third condition is that a person does not bother and hurt the individual that he's asking. How would you bother and hurt the person by guilt tripping them, you know, by blackmailing them by threatening them, you know, I'll make the law against you. Right? And this happens as well. So people are afraid.

00:36:44--> 00:36:54

So these three conditions must be fulfilled and the prophets of Allah who are his enemies advice to our dilemma in our best was what? What either CELTA first any law

00:36:55--> 00:37:00

that when you ask, meaning when you must beg, then beg Allah

00:37:01--> 00:37:16

when meaning even when you have some fine, you know, financial need. And for that you feel that you need to ask other people don't go on asking other people ask Allah. Right. And if you must ask people then remember that there are these conditions, right?

00:37:19--> 00:37:32

But remember that kathrada Sewol asking excessively? This can also mean asking people, too many questions. Okay. Too many questions as in

00:37:33--> 00:38:13

about things that are none of your business. Right? asking too many questions about their personal affairs. Okay. So and this could be in any situation, you know, for example, if you're sitting next to someone waiting in a doctor's office, you know, ask a question or two, but don't go on quizzing them, right. Likewise, if there's a new friend that you've made, I mean, yes, you want to know about, you know, what they do and where they live and what kind of life they have. But again, just, you know, you know, keep it to just a few questions, right? Likewise, when you're asking your spouse or your children about how their day was, again, they've just come home Don't Don't start. You know,

00:38:13--> 00:38:18

interrogating them. Right? They're tired from the day, you know, they're exhausted, just a few questions are sufficient.

00:38:19--> 00:38:29

In this, we learned that Min hurstville Islam and model II, Turku melayani have the beauty of a person's Islam is that they leave What does not concern them?

00:38:31--> 00:38:49

I mean, yes, when it's your family, your children, your spouse, yes. how their day was you're concerned about it. But is it really you're concerned about how you know, when exactly they had their lunch or who they met and who they spoke to know all those details are not that necessary, right? Likewise, asking people about how much money they make,

00:38:51--> 00:38:57

you know, they're, you know, personal details of their life. This is something dislike because this would bother people.

00:38:58--> 00:39:02

Another possibility of this is asking questions about

00:39:04--> 00:39:11

knowledge, meaning something related to knowledge, okay? Meaning asking questions about,

00:39:12--> 00:39:23

you know, certain religious matters. Okay? So for example, you're traveling and you're you want to know, when you're supposed to pray and how you're supposed to pray.

00:39:24--> 00:40:00

Right? Now, this is a valid concern that you have. And if you meet someone who has knowledge and you ask them questions, it's good. But even there, have a limit to the number of questions that you will ask. Right? Remember, the one of the first hobbies that we learned over here were one of the companions as the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, that what deed is the best? The prophet SAW the loss in them answered him and he said, then then what's the next best? He answered him? Right? And he's the companion narrated later that if I were to keep asking the Prophet salallahu, Orissa, he would have kept answering me. But But he stopped asking

00:40:00--> 00:40:44

Because, you know, the scholar or the teacher, yes, their duty is to pass on the knowledge that they have, but their human being right. And there is a limit to how many questions we can, we should ask them. Because when we ask too many questions, too many follow up questions even, and we start getting into hypotheticals, then this makes the matter confusing. You forget what you started with, you forget what you understood, you forget what you asked, and sometimes you're repeating the same question again and again. And that makes it very hard for the person who is being questioned. Right? So katraj to sue al. This is something that allows punctata dislikes. And some of the scholars, when

00:40:44--> 00:40:46

they were asked a question,

00:40:47--> 00:40:50

they would ask, hell Wockhardt, Has this happened?

00:40:51--> 00:40:58

And if the answer was no, I'm just asking, in case it happens. They would say, ask when it happens.

00:40:59--> 00:41:01

Right? Did you want to say something?

00:41:16--> 00:41:56

Okay, so for example, when it comes to asking someone asking a knowledgeable person about praying while traveling, alright, so for example, you asked him, How do I pray on the plane? Alright, so they tell you, you pray when it is time to pray. All right. So when you see outside, that it's fudger time you pray fidget, when you see outside, it's a lot of time you pray a lot. All right, you can combine the hood and awesome. All right. Now don't ask them what my flight takes off at this time. Right? Which means that it's going to be positive over here. And then within four or five hours, it's going to be your shot time, but you know, I'm going Do you get it? Like that's for you

00:41:56--> 00:42:36

to solve now? You know? And if you start asking them, that, okay, but But please, can you can you tell me when exactly I'm supposed to primitive inertia? Right? Can you tell me when exactly I'm supposed to prefetch it now they're gonna have to open this has happened with me, right? That they're gonna have to open, you know, some kind of world clock or something, they're gonna have to check now and handle at least we have apps, right? through which we can figure out when to pray while traveling. But see, this kind of a follow up question. or questions can make the other person uncomfortable. Right, or the questioning can be burdensome on them. Right. And especially when we

00:42:36--> 00:43:05

get into hypotheticals, that what if this happens, and what if that happens now? Yes, it's good to be prepared. Right? But remember that it's also our duty to study and to learn, right? And not always just ask people right? So, often it happens that all you need to do is just open up a book All right, and get the answer from there, but we find it easier to just send a text message to someone right.

00:43:06--> 00:43:15

So, this is something that is dislike asking too many questions. The third thing that a lot dislikes for us is what you Laura tell Mel wasting money

00:43:16--> 00:43:25

okay, what does it mean by wasting money wasting money meaning spending money in what is not useful,

00:43:26--> 00:43:33

okay, meaning spending money in a cause or in something that will neither benefit you

00:43:35--> 00:43:35

in this world

00:43:37--> 00:43:38

nor will it benefit you

00:43:39--> 00:43:40

you know,

00:43:41--> 00:43:46

in the religious sense. So, it has no religious benefit has no worldly benefit

00:43:47--> 00:43:50

or spending it on something that is sinful

00:43:53--> 00:44:14

All right. So, all of this is wasting wealth, remember that Allah spent Allah has given us wealth as a means of subsistence as something on which our, you know, life depends, right? We needed to be able to, you know, function normally to to eat, to drink to take care of ourselves, etc. and wasting wealth is something that will

00:44:15--> 00:44:33

not allow us to fulfill our needs, right? Or to spend in good causes. So this is why wasting wealth is not is not liked. And also remember that wasting money is something that creates facade. Right? What is facade? disorder?

00:44:34--> 00:44:34


00:44:36--> 00:45:00

corruption, right? And this is something that a lot is not like, you know, for example, yes, you have, you have a lot of money. You can buy a lot of Ziploc bags, for example, just just a basic example. You can just go to Costco and you can buy boxes and boxes of Ziploc bags, right? That does this mean that just because you can afford it. You just use a Ziploc bag for it.

00:45:00--> 00:45:39

Every little thing, right? And then you go on wasting it, disposing it, you get it, because this is what begins to happen, right? Just because we can afford something, it doesn't mean that we can throw it away. Right? Or that we can use it or or spend it carelessly, we have to be responsible with our wealth. Because on the Day of Judgment, we're going to be asked as to how we acquired the wealth and how we disposed of it, how we used it, right. Now remember that spending excessively, excessively as in spending a lot of money,

00:45:40--> 00:45:43

that in and of itself is not wrong?

00:45:44--> 00:45:53

Okay, that in an in and of itself is not wrong. If you're spending a lot of money in the right place in the right way. It's good.

00:45:55--> 00:46:04

But and if you spend even a little bit of money in something that is wrong, and something that is wasteful, then that is

00:46:05--> 00:46:14

not good. Right? So it's not about the quantity it's about where you're spending it right.

00:46:16--> 00:46:27

Now, of course, when it comes to spending money on things which are wrong or which which are prohibited in Islam, then of course that would be wasting money. Can you think of an example

00:46:28--> 00:46:33

spending money in matters that are prohibited?

00:46:35--> 00:46:49

Okay, very good gambling. So even if it's just $1 right? Even if it is $2 that would be a waste of money. Right? Not just a sin but also a waste of money. Okay.

00:46:51--> 00:46:59

Now, there now, we can also spend on something that that is approved, meaning that is permissible.

00:47:00--> 00:47:02

Okay, like for example, spending on

00:47:05--> 00:47:10

Okay, weddings now, for example, William is you're supposed to feed the people but you don't have to spend on

00:47:12--> 00:47:19

decorations, for example, it's not a must you get it, the food is a must, right, but the decorations are not a must.

00:47:20--> 00:47:32

Now, when it comes to these matters, there is a difference of opinion. Okay. Some, some scholars have set conditions that really it depends on a person's nature.

00:47:33--> 00:47:34

All right.

00:47:35--> 00:47:41

And it depends on their circumstances, it depends on what is customary, right? What What is,

00:47:42--> 00:47:58

you know, acceptable within a society. Like for example, if you have a wedding and you have no decorations at all, or for example, the bride and the groom are not wearing nice clothes at all, then it would be weird, like it's everything, okay? People are gonna wonder, right?

00:47:59--> 00:48:37

Is anything wrong over here, right? People are going to be worried not just wonder they're going to be concerned. So there's a criteria that we have been given in the Quran, which is a Lost Planet, Allah says that will Latina either un*able those who when they spend Lemieux three Fu, they're not extravagant. While I'm yuck to and they're not stingy. What kind of baina Delica coma, they're moderate between the right, meaning refrain from extremes. Don't go to the extreme of Penny pinching and don't go to the other extreme of being completely careless. Right, be moderate.

00:48:39--> 00:49:02

And the third matter is that you know where you're spending in good ways. Okay. So for example, you spend, you you buy a hedge package, you want to go for hedge, right? And you find out that, oh, it's $10,000, you'd like us to have a law? That's just a waste of money? No, it's not a waste of money. Right? Because if you were to take a trip, anywhere in the world, right.

00:49:04--> 00:49:07

And you were to spend that much time and there's so many,

00:49:09--> 00:49:23

you know, tourism opportunities there, for example, it would add up to almost a very similar amount. So when it comes to spending on on therapy, right on active obedience, then there is no limit over there.

00:49:25--> 00:49:26

All right, go ahead.

00:49:30--> 00:49:31

We're winning.

00:49:36--> 00:49:37

Yeah, I mean,

00:49:39--> 00:49:59

okay, so when it comes to buying, like, for example, a very expensive hedge package. If a person can afford it, why not? Why because it's just going to make your travel and your HUD more convenient. Right? Of course, it should not be with pride that Oh, yeah. And then and you know, a person is boasting if a person is boasting, you know, comparing themselves to others and telling

00:50:00--> 00:50:26

Everybody about it, then that that would be inappropriate that that would waste their spending. But if, for example, you get a good package, and yes, you have to pay a little bit more money, but that means that you're very close to the Cabo, for example. Right? Or that, you know, you you have food brought to your room, I wish that happened, but you know, things like that, then why not? It's just going to make your worship easier. Right.

00:50:28--> 00:50:31

Okay, anything about this? Is your time your turn to talk? Go ahead.

00:50:37--> 00:50:57

So you mentioned that don't ask too many what if questions, right? So is that for the general public? Or, you know, for students, it's important to understand the different scenarios and how to deal with it so that if they are as they can, respond accordingly, so does that, does this apply even to students or not? I would say,

00:50:59--> 00:51:32

Be careful over there also, right? That, for example, you're questioning your teacher should never turn into an argument or a debate, or a situation where the teacher feels that they're being quizzed. Right? Or that they're constantly being challenged. Right? There might be some questions that you're left with in your mind that your teacher is still not answered. And it's okay. All right. It's, it's good to stay curious at times. So So I would say be careful over there also.

00:51:34--> 00:51:36

can ask a question about that as well. So,

00:51:37--> 00:52:21

you know, sometimes, our teachers will say to us take a fatwa from your heart. Right. Okay. Like that, that says, In the Hardys, it's tough to call Oh, okay. Yeah. Because sometimes you you have a question that's very obscure, or feels like it's relevant only to you, and how could the person possibly understand? And in that situation, you're kind of scared because you don't want to cross the line, and you don't want to make the wrong decision? So do ask, do you not, there's no harm in asking. There's no harm in sharing what you understand or double checking if what you have understood is correct. But again, be careful about when you ask who you ask, and how you ask, right?

00:52:21--> 00:52:23

Because sometimes what happens is that if the teacher has been,

00:52:25--> 00:52:27

you know, for example, I remember once

00:52:29--> 00:52:31

there was a sheriff at ohada, he gave a talk.

00:52:33--> 00:52:51

I think it was like a three hour long lecture or something. And then after that, he was standing still. And there was a long line of people write one after the other people were asking questions, and that's okay. He made himself available. Right? That Okay, go ahead and ask me.

00:52:52--> 00:53:29

And some people, you know, they would ask their questions, get the answers and go and other people would ask too many follow up questions. And, and I could see the fatigue on his face. So you know, be be considerate. That the man Yes, even though he came here just to teach the fact that he has been trying to answer your question for the past 15 minutes, and he is still standing, that you know, that there must be, you know, a point where you just stop. Right? And if he is not able to answer your question, if you don't feel satisfied, then it's okay. Maybe you can ask someone else. Right? Go ahead.

00:53:33--> 00:53:35

I've also seen this happen.

00:53:36--> 00:53:47

And I was wondering, like, like, whether this is like preferable to do or not, but like, there's one of those lectures where it's like, okay, the teacher had been talking for like, four or five hours.

00:53:48--> 00:54:03

And then afterwards, he had a lineup, and he finished the line. And now like, it was lunchtime, as well. So he was going for lunch. And there was somebody who was like, Ha, can I walk with you and ask you questions. And the chef flat out said no, right. So

00:54:04--> 00:54:42

I'm guessing that's okay. Right. Like for the chef to say something like yeah, and and that is excellent for the student to ask, right? Because if the student does not ask, Can I ask you a question? And just goes and asks the question, then the person who has been asked must give the answer. Because in the Hadith, we learned that whoever is asked about knowledge, and he conceals it, then on the Day of Judgment, he will be riddled with fire. So it's, it's actually sinful for a person of knowledge to keep knowledge to himself, right? This is why when you see that someone is, you know, being asked again and again, then you ask him, is it okay for me to ask you a question

00:54:42--> 00:54:50

right now, right. Likewise, you see them at dinner somewhere, you see them in the mall, maybe you see them with their family, right? You see them walking,

00:54:51--> 00:54:58

you know, have you know the you know, show some courtesy ask? May I ask you a question at this time, right?

00:55:00--> 00:55:01

Yeah, go ahead.

00:55:04--> 00:55:16

Like spending a wealth. So in some cultures, for example, like, what's customary to spend on like certain situations is actually extremely extravagant? So then how do you balance that between,

00:55:18--> 00:55:43

you know, doing what's, like normal to the customs and at the same time, like not being wasteful if like the custom is very wasteful, very good question. You see, first of all, a person must see what they can afford themselves. Right? A lot of times, especially when it comes to weddings and stuff, you know, people will delay the wedding or they will save up for a very long time, or they will, you know,

00:55:45--> 00:56:16

cut corners in other places, just so that they can throw a lavish wedding. Right. So you have to see what you can afford. And there Yes, what is customary is important, but you don't have to follow every single tradition and custom. Right, you you have to see what what is affordable for you. And then you also have to see what is okay for you? Like, what is it that you feel right about spending? And where is it that you feel guilty about spending, I remember,

00:56:17--> 00:56:21

there was this person that I dealt with and regarding

00:56:23--> 00:56:37

clothes, and it was somebody else's clothes. But anyway, this lady said she was she was a clothing designer. And the order that had been given to her was actually very expensive and extravagant. Right? And she said, I'm sorry, I don't make that stuff anymore.

00:56:38--> 00:56:59

And when she was asked why she said, because it's too much, I don't believe that a wedding dress or you know, this kind of address should be that much money. It just doesn't sit well with me. So even though you could afford it, but I choose not to do that. Right. So you also have to see what your heart allows you to do you know, when you see

00:57:01--> 00:57:44

the fact that you know for example, a wedding dress will only be worn once for a few hours. And that's it. Right? And it's probably not going to be worn by another bride. Right? Isn't that a waste? And it's not just brides but also grooms right but when it comes to even men's clothing, sometimes it can be extremely expensive. So you have to see first of all what you can afford. And secondly you also have to see what your heart allows you to what your conscience allows you to do. But when it comes to wasting wealth, Allah does not like right so we have to be careful about that. And also we have to be careful in the in the small decisions that we make on a daily basis you know,

00:57:44--> 00:58:06

for example, we'll just buy a bagel eat half of it throw the other half right we'll open a bag of chips we'll have one and we are careless we don't close it properly it goes stale and we throw it so we have to be careful about these things. And when is Margaret? When are we breaking 720 Okay, we can do the next her these this woman she

00:58:08--> 00:58:17

had does any Mohammedan Waleed had done and Mohammed new Jaffa had done a Sherpa to call her destiny or obey the law. hypno Avi Bucklin Carla similar to NSF, an American or the Longhorn who.

00:58:19--> 00:58:32

So and it's been Malik reported. Allah He said, that God Allah Salallahu sallallahu alayhi wa sallam alcova the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam mentioned the major sins. Oh, pardon.

00:58:35--> 00:58:36

Oh, I did just

00:58:40--> 00:59:29

had done he had done a holiday in NYC three u annual gra D and A B berkata. And a B hero de la Mourinho colocado Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said Allah owner Bo combi Akbar Al Qaeda in Shall I not inform you of the greatest wrong actions? una bella rasulillah. We said of course please do or messenger of Allah. Allah He said Alicia la Kabila associating partners with Allah Wa, Coco validation and disobedience to parents will cannon with Turkey and for jealousy. He had been reclining and then he sat up for color. And after he sat up, he said, Allah wa kolu, wa Shahada to Zoo and false testimony false witness also allow our colo

00:59:29--> 00:59:56

Zoo where Shahada to Zoo and he repeated it for Mozilla, your kulula had to go to law school. And he continued to repeat it until we said, I wish he would stop now. Meaning he repeated that so many times that we we wanted him to stop repeating but of course, they didn't say that to him. So we see that the Prophet sallallahu already said it would repeat important statements, right. So repetition is not always redundant, right?

00:59:58--> 00:59:59

As long as it serves a purpose

01:00:00--> 01:00:07

It's good. And the Prophet sallallahu Sallam would repeat important statements, sometimes three, three times, right.

01:00:08--> 01:00:35

And then we see that he started with saying that Schick and disobedience to parents are major sins. And then when he was about to mention something that he really wanted people to understand that this is wrong, he sat up, right, he changed his position, he sat, he sat up. And then he said, workout loser, which is to lie, especially in a in a in a court.

01:00:36--> 01:00:50

Meaning when there is a legal case, and a person is called to give a witness to give testimony, and they lie over there, they give a false testimony. And the Prophet sallallahu oristano kept repeating that this is a major sin

01:00:51--> 01:01:13

that people wanted him to stop out of, you know, love for him out out of compassion for him because they saw how much he was exerting himself to make people realize the seriousness of this offense. So remember that with regards to Allah's rights, the greatest sin is shirk. All right. With regards to the rights of people,

01:01:14--> 01:01:17

the greatest sin is disobeying parents.

01:01:18--> 01:01:24

And with regards to Amana, trust, or trustworthiness,

01:01:25--> 01:01:29

the greatest sin is to give false testimony.

01:01:30--> 01:01:46

Right? So, of course, lies are bad in you know, they're bad, but especially in a legal setting, they are worse because based on that, either criminal will get away or an innocent person will be wrongly punished. Right?

01:01:48--> 01:02:29

Because, typically, when a person lies, then, you know, they're the only ones who will suffer, right? Because your lie is not going to harm someone else in a general, you know, setting. But in a setting like that, this line will actually hurt other people. So this is why the seriousness is greater. Let's do the next time he says Well, it's similar. Had the thing Mohammed bin Walid had done and Mohammed Abu Jafar had the nashoba to follow her destiny obey the law even ob Bucklin Clara Samaritan nsfx nomadic Nadia la Mourinho, Carla de Caro Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Al cavalleria, the Prophet sallallahu aurizon mentioned the major sins also he learned about it or he

01:02:29--> 01:03:05

was asked about the major sins for color. So he said a ship Kabila associating partners with a law will kutlu naps and killing an innocent person were cuckoo holidaying and disobeying parents for color then he said allow owner Bo can be activated kabba and then he said Shall I not inform you of the greatest wrong actions pala zoo, and then he said it is giving false testimony Alcala Shahada to Zoo called a Sherpa to accept Alinea nucala shout at the zoo shorba said I'm pretty sure that he said false testimony she had at the zoo instead of polar zoo.

01:03:06--> 01:03:10

So we see that where the narrator's were confused about the wordings they also

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you know, mentioned their, their their confusion, right and also what they leaned more towards. So we see a gun in this Hadees that disobeying parents is a major offense in the first Hardee's we learnt disobeying the mother is a major sin. And here we see the disobeying parents while he Dane mother and father is a major sin

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when it comes to disobeying the father, because earlier we learned about this being the mother so about the father in Hades, we learn that the Father is the middle gate to paradise. So if you wish, neglect that door or protect it,

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meaning by pleasing your father by being good to your father, you could actually enter gender by by taking care of your father.

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And if you neglect that door, right, then you're losing that opportunity.

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remember that a person who is our meaning who who disobeys his parents a lot,

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then such people Allah does not even accept their deeds. There's a hadith and associate also here in which we learned that there are three people from whom Allah does not accept their,

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their voluntary, their voluntary or their meant or their obligatory deeds, and off them is

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up as in a person who is very disobedient to their parents.

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Also, we learn in other hobbies that

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the pleasure of the Lord is in the pleasure of the Father.

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Meaning when your father is pleased with you, then your Lord is pleased with you. All right, and was soeharto Rob fee Sahaba wallet that when that when

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That that the Lord's anger is in the father's anger, meaning when your father is angry with you, that means Allah is also angry with you. So we should try our best to not make them angry, you know, you can disagree with them, but you can still be respectful. Right? We can live our own life, yes, do what we want, you know, with communication with respect, so that they feel included. Right.

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We also learn about the fact that there is actually punishment in the grave for disobeying the parents and a person who is allowed to validate he, then such a person will not enter gender in another Hadees we learn. So a person will also be deprived of entering paradise millas principle to protect us from that. Any question? Any comment? Go ahead.

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What about you in a situation where your husband isn't allowing you to help your parents or to listen to your parents? How do you deal with that? So inshallah that will come. But just to answer briefly, remember that just because a woman is married, it doesn't mean that her relationship with her parents has come to an end? No, she's still obligated to be good to her parents, to obey them to listen to them. But of course, where there will be conflict, alright, meaning that for example, the parents are expecting their daughter to do something that her husband is just not allowing her to do. Right then in that case, she has to use wisdom. Right? And if she goes on and disobeys her

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husband, then it's going to create conflict in her marriage, which is going to affect her way more than the conflict that you will have with her parents. Because in general, parents are more forgiving. Right? spouses are not the parents, our parents love their children unconditionally. Right. And when it comes to the spouse, there are expectations there are, you know, there's a sense of competition. So it's, it's more and of course when a woman is married and she has to obey her husband, right? But when it comes to her personal time, her personal money, she does not need her husband's permission. Okay, only in a situation where there's conflict than she has