Sahih al Bukhari – Kitab al Adab #30
Channel: Taimiyyah Zubair
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hamdulillah does echolocating for waiting.
How was your eat break?
Are the Billahi min ash shaytaan rajim Bismillah Ar Rahman AR Rahim will swallow Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah al Karim rubbish lovely Saturday were silly emri workflow looked at a melissani of Cabo poly Oliver Maggie Colby was sadly Sani was roots of hematology Armenian herbal amin so inshallah we'll begin our class off so he will hottie will resume from keytab will other BB number 81 in GitHub will other the book of manners and hamdulillah we have covered so far 80 topics and this one is about Bab an MB sadly alienness being cheerful with people imbecile thought basically means to unwrinkled or to expand something. And when a person is feeling relaxed, they're in a good
in a pleasant mood, then their face appears to be unwrinkled. And, you know, overall they come across as very relaxed and very cheerful. So in besotted with people is to be basically relaxed with them to be chill with them, right to not be uptight, to not be very tense, to not be on edge and to not be, you know, easily triggered. So, in bisabolol illness any being cheerful with people this is something which is from the Sunnah This is something that, you know, we are encouraged to do, and there is absolutely nothing wrong, you know, in being happy, cheerful, etc. So we see here that we'll call up numerous ruin of your loved one who even was rude. There'll be a loved one who said
that highly acclaimed NASA would be Nicoletta klieman, who, that socialize with people interact with them, engage with them, you know, talk to them, as long as your religion is safe. Meaning when you are interacting with people, you know, having fun with them, talking to them, etc. All of that is permissible, but you have to be careful about your religion, meaning your religion should not be compromised. So we see that, you know, there's a beautiful Hadith in which we learned that once the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was sitting with his companions, and the companions were remembering, you know, the time of jelenia you know, different things they did, etc. And some people
were even reciting poetry and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, you know, he was silent, he was listening to them. And there were times when he would smile, you know, the best some of them are whom he would smile along with them. So, we see that, you know, we are not told to become completely disconnected from people that we don't, you know, talk, we don't joke, we don't smile, and that we become very serious and we become very uptight, no, we are supposed to interact with one another, because this is something that you know, the nuts needs. And this is something that of course, we are missing a lot these days, you know, we are at home with our families and, and hamdulillah that
is excellent, but what we miss is you know, socializing with people. So this is something within you know, human nature it's it's a human need. So, even Masuda della horn who said socialize with people provided that your religion is safe, meaning you have to protect your religion, you must not say anything, which is inappropriate that Allah subhanaw taala does not approve off. And you must also make sure that you know, the commands that are less harmful Allah has obligated on you, they do not get neglected. So for instance, sometimes what happens is that, you know, we're having a very good conversation with a friend, but then in that we neglect the time of Salah. So, this is something
that we need to guard. So, and we see that a person who does not mix with others, or who does not talk to people, then people also feel uncomfortable around them, right people don't you know, benefit from them, and people also try to avoid them. So, this is
From the subnet that we should interact with one another. And then what do our other teams are holy and joking with one's family. The other is, you know, humor or laughing and joking and this is something that is completely permissible. Now let's look at the Hadees had definite Adam had the thinner shorba to had the thinner about the year got a smear to NSF an American rhodiola Mourinho your kulu in cannon abuse sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Allah Johan altona had Tejada Lee, a fairly isolating year about Romanian MacFarlane new aid. So underspin Malik said that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he lay you highly altona he would socialize with us he would interact
and engage with us so much so that he said to a young brother of mine that oh abou remade what happened to New Age the little bird. So this Hardee's is a very famous well known Hadees and from this, numerous lessons have been extracted. And the reason why Mambo Holly brings us here these overhears to show that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would mingle with people, he would talk to them, he would joke with them, he would sit with them, he would listen to them, adults and children, people who are related to him and also people who were not related to him. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he would also visit, you know his companions in their houses. And this
is what happened over here that he visited the house of anessa de la Mourinho and his younger brother aboot roommate had a pet bird that had died. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi Salaam asked him about it, then what happened to it? So we see that, you know, some people what they like to do is that they just like to talk amongst their own, you know, friend circle, they completely disregard children or completely ignore them. And this is contrary to the Sunnah. Alright, the Prophet sallallahu earlier said, I'm asked him about his bird that what happened to it? What did it do, and that bird had died, right. And he didn't ask him to make him feel bad about his bird, but rather to
be able to understand and process you know, his feelings, because when a child loses a pet, or a child loses a toy, you know, for us, it may be something very insignificant, you know, and we might be like, Okay, get over it, things break. This is the reality of this world. You know, as you will grow up, you will see what this world really is. No, this was not to make him feel bad, but to help him, you know, process his emotions and help them help him understand and accept the loss that he had experienced. So, you know, it's it's important that, you know, when we lose something and we're feeling hurt by it, it's important to accept that emotion, right in order to come to terms with the
reality. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam asked him in order to understand in order to help him understand what was happening to him. The next Hadees had this an mo hamedan of LaDonna Albemarle, we have to had that and he shall be here on our a Chateau de la marinha. Pilot come to a horrible bill Bennati are in the Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. So Roma related that I shall do long horn has said that I used to play with banette Banat dolls in the presence of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam while Cantonese Salah Hebrew Yagna Marie and I used to have certain friends who would play with me, for Canada sudo Allah He sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. So whenever
the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam either de holla whenever he would enter, meaning he would come home, yet the Amarna men who all of my friends would, you know, disperse, meaning they would go and hide. So what would he do for you said rebo hoonah La Jolla, faiella Abner Marie. So he would go and find them and he would send them to play with me. So we see over here that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he did not mind that his wife had a certain hobby, right or that his wife enjoyed, you know, playing with something or or or doing something like playing with adults, right meaning he was very relaxed about this. And this is something very important because a lot of
times you know, when people are strict that they try to impose that strictness on everybody around them. And people think that being religious means being very, very strict. So that means you know, you cannot socialize and people around you cannot socialize, you cannot joke and people around you cannot joke. You cannot, you know, watch a funny video clip or something and laugh about it and people around you cannot do that mean people become very strict in the name of religion, and then they try to impose that same strictness and seriousness on the people around them. And this is something that is completely contrary to the sun. No, we see that the wife of the Prophet salallahu
alayhi wa sallam, she had a hobby, right? She played with dolls, how many you know people sometimes
They're known to make fun of their wives for liking something, or for enjoying something, right? And people, you know, they belittle their wives like this, if anybody was to belittle, you know someone, in a situation like that, any if you think about it, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam could have done that, right? He is the Prophet of Allah and his wife is playing with dolls. Like really, any, if you think of it from a very serious, you know, point of view, it doesn't make sense, but the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam not only, you know, approved of it, and allowed her, he also encouraged her, he facilitated that, that when he would that when she would be playing with her friends, and
they would go and hide from him, the Prophet salallahu Urdu center would go and, you know, send her friends to her so that they could continue with their playing. So, this is part of cheerfulness that you let people around you relax also. And we see that a married woman also needs her friends, and she must have her own hobbies, because this is something that keeps people you know, cheerful. And a married woman also has the right to hang out with her friends. And in other narrations, we learn about you know, the doll device shuttle de la marinha that these dolls remember that they were put away meaning that there there was a curtain that was put on top when they were not being used. So
remember that dolls which children used to you know, play with or even adults do and it's perfectly fine. If If someone has a hobby like that there's nothing wrong because these are not statues, alright, these are not idols, these are not images, these are for playing and these images are not really being honored. All right. The problem is when an image or a figure is being honored and in that you know, it is hung or it is displayed somewhere. That is something that is not permissible. So I shall Dylan Mourinho had these dolls she played with them and the Prophet sallallahu earlier Sunnah was completely fine with that. The next is Bab al Marathi Martinez being effable with people.
Now this word modality is very interesting without his from the word Dawa. All right, and that was his two, really try hard to convince someone to do something. Or it is to really try hard to turn someone away from something. Okay? And why is it that you're trying hard because you don't want to be direct, and you don't want to be harsh, either. So you try, you know, one approach, it doesn't work. So you try another approach, and then it doesn't work. So you try another approach. You know, for example, if your child does not want to eat dinner, right, and you know that they're hungry. So one is that you tell them eat your dinner, and you know that it's not going to work, right? You can
be strict. Again, you know, it's not going to work and you don't want to be harsh with your child. So then what do you do you use different ways, right? You may have seen people, you know, parents trying to make every bite of food into an airplane, right? Or, you know, playfully trying different things basically, in order to get the child to eat their dinner. So this is mudaraba without what is to turn someone away from something very gently, okay, it is a duck through beat if thing a duffer meaning to repel to turn someone away from something, but how be drifting with risk meaning with with gentleness, so with our art is to be humble and gentle with people to come to their level, and
to speak in a kind way without being harsh. And this is one of the most effective ways of you know, of creating love. And also of convincing people you know, in the salon, we're taught in the fire ability here arson, right repel evil by that date, which is better. So, this is from the character of the believers to have mudaraba. Now, there is another word which is or another concept, which we should understand and that concept is called Buddha, Hannah, Okay, with that Hannah is something that is forbidden, which is to basically show acceptance of something wrong, that someone is doing in front of you. Okay? So it is to outwardly accept the sin of a sinner, right to or to outwardly
approve the wrong that is being done in front of you. And in your heart, you reject it, okay. Now, this is problematic. Why is it problematic because when you don't agree with something
When you know that something is wrong, yes you you know you deny it you disapprove of it in your heart but on on the outward also You must not show acceptance okay. You may be silent that is permissible you may decide you may choose not to say anything or to Just mind your own business because you think that that is better in that situation. But to say yes this is really good or yes this is excellent or you know to start clapping. Like for example, sometimes children are you know misbehaving and parents begin to you know, laugh at their dirty jokes and things like that. So, this is with ohana and with ohana is something that is not allowed muda rot is to be gentle with the
ignorant person okay. It is to be gentle in stopping the center from his sin. It is to be gentle to to not be harsh, okay. And it is to disapprove gently and this is something that is necessary.
Where you've come a bit though that he and and it is a narrative about a Buddha or de la Mourinho that inner lenok shoe fee would you hate a comin we're in Nakuru banner letter lannoo that we used to smile to the faces of people meaning certain individuals while we curse them in our hearts. Now, what does this mean? This means that there are people before whom we have to smile, right? Amen because Allah says this is not a smile of praising or you know, or using approving words for them because that would be a clear lie. What is meant is that we have to outwardly show respect to them. Why? Because otherwise they will oppress us they will mistreat us and they will harm us
so basically what we're being taught over here is that even when someone is doing something really wrong, okay and on the inside in your heart you do not like that at all then still you're of luck our luck must be good with them. Why because our of luck is about us and other peoples of luck is about them.
Let's look at the Hadith and inshallah this will become more clear. Had this enough with Ableton necessary then had death in a Sophia and I named him when Kennedy had the other who are witnesses VEDA a na a shutter of Bella to unknown host that then Allah Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Allah Julian, so I shall de la Mourinho reported that a man asked permission from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam for connoisseur he said either no law who allow him meaning the man asked if he could enter the Prophet sallallahu wasallam gave permission, but he also warned his family for beat suddenly or Sheila What a terrible brother of his tribe this man is a bit sir uh, Hola, Sheila.
Sorry, what a terrible son of his tribe this man is or what a terrible brother of his tribe this man is Phelan mahana. Alana Lagoon, Callum but when the man entered the Prophet salallahu Urdu Sena was very gentle with him in his speech for Koto, so I shall deliver on her she said that I said, Lahore to him sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that Yasuda La Quinta mahkota that all messenger of Allah you said what you said so my lnt Allah who Phil Cole and then you were so gentle with him in speech for Paula so the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said a Yarra Chateau or Isha. In the chevron, nassima and zillah tenor in the law he indeed the worst of people in position near Allah is mintaka
who, uh, whether or who Nestle, it default for she is the person whom people leave or abandoned out of fear of his course language. So we see over here that the prophets of Allah Who are these in a new What a terrible men this was, but still when the men came, the prophet SAW Allah who already have some spoke to him gently. Why, because this man's behavior was for him and the Prophet salallahu earnings and his behavior was for him. Sometimes we think that, you know, if someone is very harsh and rude, then we should also be harsh and rude with them to teach them a lesson. But that was not the way of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he taught people how by being
gentle with them, by being ever saw nice with them that they had no choice but to realize their own harshness and to realize the greatness the beauty of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam. So, we see that this is what real musavat is, this is what it means to you know, gently turn people away from the wrongs that they're doing. You don't always stop people from the wrong that they're doing by being harsh with them. You know, sometimes that is necessary.
But that that's not necessary all the time, especially not with people that you live with, or the people that you work with, you know, they deserve gentleness. The next Hadeeth is had this in our Villa Huebner Abdul Wahab, a foreigner Abdul juneja Bhavana YouTube and Abdullah Hackney abhi Malaika and an obeah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, over the etla who are clear on Monday Bajin musawah to be the hub.
So, a tube sorry, are you reported from the library of the Malaika that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam received some cloaks and other narrations, we learned that they were sent as a gift to him sallallahu alayhi wasallam and these cloaks were made of silk. Alright, silk brocade in particular, meaning thick silk and the borders of these cloaks had gold on them. Okay? In this hadith specifically, we see that these were gold buttons. So what did the Prophet sallallahu organism deal with these cloaks for customer happiness him in his hobby, he divided them among some of his companions, whereas an amine her were hidden Lima Chroma and he put aside one of them for who
for mahama and what happened then, follow murgia when mahama came color the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said to him hubback to her luck, I kept this aside for you, especially Allah you will be therapy a normal UD e Yahoo that a YouTube said that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam began showing him that cloak you know that this is what I kept for you especially what can you hold up the shade on and there was in the manner of of Mohamad something, meaning there was something not very pleasant about the character of Mahatma meaning he was very harsh, or you know in his language, he was a bit coarse. And this is something that people knew about Mahatma urawa who hammered the
zaven on a you will call a happy mood no well then I had done a you and me a B Malaika and Miss sweaty Kadima, Allah Nabi sallallahu, alayhi wa sallam a clear, slightly different wording in another narration that Mr. mcquarry mentions over here.
So in this Hadees, we see how we should be dealing with people whose manner is harsh, because muslimahs manner, his character, his language was harsh. So look at how the Prophet salallahu earnings said and dealt with him. You know, again, we think that if someone is harsh, then we should not give them anything, we should ignore them, we should treat them with harshness, so that we can teach them a lesson, right? We should be rude to them so that they can realize their rudeness. But that never works, because what's going to happen is that with our rudeness and our harshness, they're going to become even more harsh, right. And that's going to cause us to become even more
angry. And that's just going to escalate the situation. Remember that people who are harsh and rude are actually in need of some love. Alright, people who are being mean, a lot of times what they need is just a hug, right? People who are angry, who are yelling, and you will notice this even at home that someone walks in, and they're very irritated, you know, they're being very short tempered, the problem is that they had a very difficult day, they experienced something very painful outside the house. So what their need of is some attention and love that you sit with them, you talk to them, you give them a hug, not that you start becoming rude and harsh with them, because that's only going
to turn them away. Right of so much. So as soon as they come home, you know, all of a sudden, when those, you know, limitations that they've put on them. When those guards are gone, you know, a person sort of breaks down. I remember when this happened with me that when my child, one of my children, the first year of school every single day that I would pick them up, the moment that would come in the car, they would start crying, okay uncontrollably crying, screaming upset about one thing or the other. And I remember having the discussion with some of my friends. And they mentioned that, you know, the same thing was happening with them. And another friend mentioned that this is
because all day long children are trying to control themselves. Right? Somebody said something mean, somebody, you know, push them, somebody poked them, somebody did something weird. And you know, they're they're angry, they're upset, they're annoyed, and they're, you know, all of that anger is getting built up over the day. So of course, the moment they're going to see you they're going to break down. And that made so much sense to me. That you know, you think that perhaps your child is misbehaving because, you know, they are very
ill natured they're very ill mannered and maybe they need a slap or to to learn a lesson but what they
need is some love. And this is what we seen the way the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that this man mahana his nature was not very nice. And the Prophet sallallahu wasallam understood that. So look at how the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, you know, gave this man so much importance that, look, I kept this especially for you. Now, in other directions, we learned that when these quotes were being distributed, and Malema was not there, and later on, he found out he was actually quite upset that How come I was not given one quote. So he went to the Prophet salallahu earnings son with his son, and he didn't go inside, he was standing outside and he told his son go call the
Prophet sallallahu earlier, sent him outside. And his son felt very awkward about this, that how can I go and tell the prophets of Allah already sent him come outside because my father is calling you. But he did that. And the Prophet sallallaahu artisan did not mind at all, he went out to him, and he gave mahama the quote, and then he asked McCullough that, Are you happy now? Are you pleased? No. And mahama said, well do mahama then mahama is pleased now is happy. So,
you know, perhaps we have heard very little about mahama but we can see here how the Prophet sallallaahu Ernie was suddenly you know, he understood his nature, and he took care of him. And you know, and Mahatma was not there, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam set aside a quote, especially for him. And this is what mudaraba is that you deal with people in a gentle, nice way, in order to, you know, convince them of something or in order to turn them away from their own harshness. So you fight harshness with love, not with more harshness. This is what we learn from the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu ordain suddenly allows parents to give us that wisdom and that gentleness, also,
the next is Bab la you the whole minuman jehlen. mala tiny that a believer is not stung from the same hole twice. Okay? Now lay you'll double, you'll double, you may have heard of the word lady, ladies is someone who is bitten by a venomous creature.
So, Joe is a hole. So for example, a hole of a venomous creature. So you see a hole in the ground, you put your hand in it. And what happens is you get stung by something you don't know what it is, but something stung you. So then what do you do you pull your hand out and you don't put your hand in that same hole? Again? Why? Because you learned your lesson that there's something venomous inside something, you know, that could bite me. So, I better not repeat the same mistake. What column are we are to and while we have said Lucha Kima illa duta de Botton, this is so beautiful. His statement is mentioned here, that la hekima there is no wise person at all in that except the
surgery button, except the person who has had experience, meaning it is only experience that makes a person wise, you cannot have wisdom without experience. Why? Because your experiences teach you. Right? They teach you what you should avoid next time so that you don't repeat the same mistake. Right? Your experience teaches you what worked so that you can try that again. So don't be too hard on yourself when you make a mistake. Right? Sometimes you you you do something with a very good intention, you know, you You work so hard, you give it your best. And then the results are not what you expected them to be. Or you you only get hurt later. Right? So you wonder what's wrong with me?
Why was I so foolish that I didn't understand that I couldn't make you know, a good decision for myself. So remember that your experiences are actually teaching you right? They're making you wiser. So forgive yourself and learn from your mistakes and move forward. And don't expect perfection from yourself. And if someone doesn't learn from their mistakes, then this shows that they cannot become wise. So it's important that things that bite us things that sting us that hurt us you know, but it's sometimes it is certain individuals sometimes it is certain scenarios, certain experiences, it's necessary that we learn from them. So let's look at the heavies had given up with Ava to her
death and a layth Andrew Caden Ernesto de nada musei Joby Abby who Rayleigh Tara de la Mourinho are named to be sallallahu alayhi wa sallam unknown we'll call the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, lay you'll the whole minuman gehouden were hidden Marois time
Lay you'll the whole movement of the believer is not stung. Min johannine were hidden from one hole meaning from the same hole Mandala tiny twice, which means that you can get stung from different holes, all right, but not from the same hole.
Now, this Hadees is described as
you know of those statements of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam, which are Joana or kelim, meaning, which are very comprehensive words of the Prophet sallallahu, Alayhi, wasallam. A few words, but a whole lot of meaning is conveyed. There's so much wisdom contained within these words. So this Hadees basically warns us against what against being careless. It warns us from repeating the same mistakes, this, Heidi is encouraging us to be awake, to be alert, and to learn from our experiences, right? That if we have been stung by someone, like for example, somebody came in advice, you know, encouraged us to do something, they asked us for help. And we went along, and we
helped them, but then they didn't turn out to be what they presented themselves to be, because you really, you know, understand what people are when you actually work with them. Right? When you engage with them, when you when you're actually doing something with them.
You know, a lot of people are very good at giving their, you know, word or, you know, making you believe that, you know, they will support you or that they want to work with you. But then when it's actually time to work, they don't show up. So then if this happens with you once, then the second time the person comes to you and says, Well, I want to work with you, then you don't get bitten by them again. Right, meaning you learn from your past experience. So, this is with regards to trust, right, this is with regards to you know, the the work that you do with people. So, a believer does not get stung from the same hole twice. Now, somewhere lemma they say that what this hadith means
is, it's a statement that is being mentioned. But what is really meant is a command, meaning a believer should not get stung by the same hole twice. Meaning if you were a believer, then you better be careful. And you better learn from your experiences and you better learn from your mistakes. If for example, sleeping late caused you to miss your budget, then what does that mean? You don't repeat the same mistake as a believer This is something that is necessary, right meaning this is something that you must do. So, the more you know, the better and stronger a person's IE man is, the more they will learn from their mistakes.
And then it is said that this Hadees also means that
if a believer is punished for a sin in the world, then he won't be punished for it again in the hereafter. Why because he got stung for what he did in this life right and that tribulation became a source of purification for him or her. So, that means that in the hereafter again he will not be penalized, he will not be punished. And this is something that does make sense and this is something that we learn from other texts also.
So, remember that whether it is religious matters or worldly matters, okay, when we make a mistake or when some people take advantage of us, then we must learn from from those experiences, you know, sometimes people will use the religion against you to abuse you or to get some advantage out of you to trick you to deceive you into something. So, once you understand that this person uses such flowery language or such religious language to make me do what is not right, then I better be alert and you know conscious the next time that I am dealing with them, I should not fall in the same trap again. Right? We see that in our really matters. A lot of times we become very careful that if
because of someone at work, for instance, we get into trouble, we'll stay away from that individual. Right? But when someone is, you know, distracting us from our Deen, then we kind of become a bit more relaxed over there. So we have to be careful whether it is a worldly matter or a religious matter if someone is taking advantage of us is abusing us is you know using you know religion or whatever to trap us, then we must not get trapped again.
By the same individual, meaning we must learn from our experiences. May Allah subhanaw taala allow us to do that.
The next is Bab, how could leafy, the right have a guest?
Now, after this actually the topic is slightly changing. So if you have any questions or comments that you wanted to share, I can take them right now.
Yeah, you can raise your hand inshallah, and I can take them Bismillah.
So, remember, does your sister have any other tools? Okay, let's check them. Yes, go ahead. I'm so sorry. I'm not able to see them. Actually. Let's
choose to select Yes. Go ahead. Bismillah.
sulamani? Come on,
Michael. So now what I heard from labor capital. So if you do have a person who is harsh in your family, what advice would what advice should we give them? Or we give them any advice?
If they're seeking advice on how to deal with that harshness?
if someone is harsh in your family, then of course, this is something that affects you. Right? Because you, you are suffering because of them. So it's very helpful. And it's very healthy to have, you know, such conversations that, you know, for example,
you know, what you said, or the way that you spoke with me, this is something that really hurt me, because a lot of times people who are being harsh, don't even realize the effect that they're having on other people. So when people communicate with them that you know, this particular word you used, or the, you know, the fact that you were talking so loudly, or the fact that you, you were attacking me like this, or like that, this is something that really hurt me. It's helpful, you know, people need to be able to see the mistakes that they're making, and they cannot make them unless someone helps them, you know, you know, recognize their mistakes. So if they're seeking that advice, then I
would say, have those, you know, really open conversations.
And if they're not seeking that advice, then in that case, we've learned from these how these that the way that we deal with harshness, or the way that we treat harshness, is with gentleness, right, that try to understand why someone is being harsh, what is the reason? Because, there there is some underlying, you know, problem over there. So, for example, when child is misbehaving, a lot of times, it's because a child is really hungry, right? Or they're sleepy, or they just don't want to, you know, do do whatever it is that you're asking them to do. Or perhaps this is a reflection of your own, you know, behavior with them.
try to recognize and understand the underlying cause, and, and solve that inshallah.
And if someone wants to, you know, increase in their gentleness, then I think, of course, all of us need to do that. Then I think, definitely reflecting over you know, the life of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam his statements, especially in regards to this topic, they're very helpful, right? Because we know that we're supposed to be gentle, but you know, for example, going over these are these right now. I think this has definitely encouraged us to reflect over our own selves and and see where we are, you know, making mistakes and inshallah This is something that should help us personally as well.
so I'm going to unmute
I have a question.
Being affable with people about other the other statement
mentions about him smiling and then close.
sitting behind I struggling to understand how that is not.
Okay. Okay, I get your question, I get your question. So you see smiling means what that smiling doesn't necessarily mean that you are approving of what you know someone is doing, right? smiling can be just your natural disposition which Mashallah you do have.
So, any there are times when you're not always able to, you know, say to a person what you need to say to them. Why? Because if you were to tell them the truth, they would become worse. Right? So there are people who are oppressive, and in your heart, you disagree with what they're doing. You, you hate what they're doing, you are very annoyed and upset about what they're doing. But you cannot say anything to them, because you're not in that position. And you know, that if you were to say anything to them, they would actually become worse. So then what do you do? You neither, you know, you do not. First of all, what you do is you do not approve of what they're doing approval of what
they're doing would mean to say, you know, such words, that, for instance, excellent, this is great, right. Or approval can also be in the way of, you know, for instance, like, like I mentioned, clapping and things like that.
But when you are just smiling,
that doesn't always mean approval,
that just that can also mean that you are pleasant, in your own self, right? Or that you will still follow this another prophet sallallahu already who was said that you will not get angry and annoyed in that situation, even though you have a right to be angry and annoyed, but you will not show any anger. So this is not about being two faced. But this is about, you can understand this statement as a reflection of any self control. Okay? That even though you're so angry, and you're so upset, you still don't show that. Why? Because if you were to show that, then that would be contrary to good luck.
So think about it, you know, sometimes your own your own children, you know, sometimes they do something, they say something, you're so angry, you're so mad, and you just want to, you know, teach them a lesson. But you don't do that. All you do is you just calmly, you know, come in front of them, you smile and you speak to them gently. Why? Because you know that your calmness and you're smiling and you're gentle words are going to work and you're yelling and your anger is not going to work. Right or it's not healthy, at least not for you and not for them. So look at this as a way of self control. Okay, or could or controlling your anger?
Does that make it clear?
Yes, I'm having to relearn and work in SPSS know what I was also reflecting on this is for me and said
outwardly official likeness, then word of a bigger problem. Absolutely.
Yeah, we protect our so from their hand and we also protect others from harm and sending more.
explain, we do not agree with the false truth or we do not support it with them. What is saying that
inshallah, with your words and actions, they probably have some.
Yes. And you see that there are many things that you know, people learn over time. So, think about, you know, your toddler or any any child that you have seen. No, you cannot always teach them everything all the time. There are things that you have to overlook, you just have to bite your tongue. You just have to, you know, keep your thoughts to yourself, and all you can do is just make up. Right, and if anybody were to look into the state of your heart, they would feel so sad for you.
Right, meaning you're really struggling inside.
Okay, I think he the rubber has a follow up question. Yes, go ahead.
Yeah, I just want to confirm so I think I understand. So basically, when there is no
real benefit of speaking up, that's when you could probably just smile and let go. Absolutely. Otherwise there is no reason not to speak up. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. Any there are times when showing your anger is not going to help the situation at all. But what can help the situation is your calmness and you're smiling and you're good demeanor, because at least people will be willing to continue to listen to you or to be around you. And if you were to become harsh and rude then they would, you know, just leave you. Right?
Okay, so let's continue.
Bad number 84. bad health, good life. The right have a guest who is a life a guest is someone who is visiting you or someone who is coming to stay with you. They could be from the same city, they could be from out of town they could be a relative, a non relative a Muslim or non Muslim. So what is the right of a guest had definitely is helpful human soul had the low humanoid robot that had definite Hussein on the 70 obika feed on a B sentiment that many of the men on Abdullah have now I'm in Canada Hello Allah Rasulullah sallallahu early he was send them off upon. So Abdullah ibn I'm a little de la Mourinho reported that the Prophet sallallahu earlier Southern came to me and he said,
I'm about uneca dokumen Laila, with Asana? How have I been informed that you stand in prayer all night long and you fast all day? Meaning Is this true? What I have been informed about you? portobella Abdullah bin Ahmed, he said Yes, it is true. This is exactly what I do. Also, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said for that file, so don't do that. When I'm praying the night and also sleep was so what a split and fast and also break your fast meaning some days you should fast and other days you should not be fasting. Why? Because for in nearly Jessa the garlic or how can indeed your body has a right over you. What in the lie Nika? alayka How can and your eye also has a
right over you? What inally zody collega have gone and your visitor or your guest also has a right over you. We're in the li zoji galica How can your spouse has a right over you? We're in the Casa and you're taller because I'm Ron. And I hope that you will live in long life. We're in them in house speaker and assume I'm in coolly Shahid insalata a young and it should be enough for you that you fast three days of every month. Why? Because for inna because he has an 18 Ashleigh and Sally how because for every good deed our 10 like it for that he could the who could lose so that would be you know fasting all year long. Basically we're fasting all the time. color, so our blood and our
mood. He said fissured that too? For sure did Allah Yeah. But I made things hard for myself. So things were made hard and difficult for me how football to because I said for in the article vitalik because I can do more than that. When the Prophet sallallahu where it is and I'm told him too fast. Just three fasts in a month, or the webinar almost said to him that I can do more than that. Allah the Prophet sallallahu earlier said I'm set to him for some men kalidou Martin salata a young, that fast, three days out of every week, do more It doesn't mean Friday here, it means a week, meaning from one Friday to the next Friday, meaning every week basically fast three days off, I shudder to
for sure. For sure did are they Yeah, he said, but I made things harder for myself and things did become hard for me. Well to only hold Laila valic. And I said, I can do more than that. Allah so the Prophet sallallahu earlier said, and told him for some Solomon a biggie lakita would, then you should fast the way that the Prophet of Allah that would would fast call to Mr. Samana be Elijah Wood. So I asked what was his way of fasting colonists with the hurry? He said, half the year, meaning one day you fast and the other day you don't fast so fast every alternate day.
Beautiful holidays, a lot of lessons to be learned from this holidays. First of all, we see that when the Prophet salallahu Urdu Sena was informed that our beloved unarmoured used to pray all night and fast every day. He went and asked our beloved Ahmed about this, that do you actually do this?
Is this information that has reached me? Correct. So he verified the information, right, by by asking the person himself. And this is also something very important for us that before we form a judgment or an opinion of someone, right, or we even begin to advise them of something, the first thing we need to do is verify that what we have heard, what we have been informed of is this even true. Secondly, we see that when the Prophet sallallaahu earlier son was informed about this matter, he knew that this was unrealistic. This would this was, you know, making religion very hard on oneself. And this is why he went to advise of the lemon, right, and he told him that do not do this,
you should pray and sleep you should fast and also not fast. And you should do that. Why because your body has a right over you, your eye has a right over you, your visitor has a right over you, your wife has a right over you. And you cannot give everyone their rights if you are praying all night and fasting all day. Alright, so the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam advised him. And this shows us that when we also find out that someone is making their life very difficult upon themselves, and sometimes we learn about certain friends, or certain family members who, you know, are very eager to take on a lot of responsibilities. And then we know that, you know, their health
is suffering, or their family is getting affected, you know, their personal reviva is getting affected and which we shouldn't just sit back and comment over them or form opinions of them, we should go and talk to them, help them figure out help them understand what is realistic for them and what is not. Right. And then we see that the Prophet sallallahu earlier said him didn't just tell him Don't do that. Rather, he explained to him the reason, right, and this is very important that a lot of times we will tell people do this or don't do this, and we don't explain the reason behind it. So what happens is that, you know, people do accept outwardly what we're telling them, but
because they don't comprehend, they don't really agree with us. You know, they're not fully on board. So the Prophet sallallahu already kind of explained the reason and what was the reason that if you sleep, if you pray all night and you fast all day and this is your daily routine, then you will not be able to give your body it's right. And what is the right of the body that it gets to eat during the day. Right? That it gets to sleep during the night. Yes, part of the night can be spent in prayer. Right? And some days can be spent in fasting but it doesn't mean that the body is constantly deprived. Right? And then your eye has a right on you what is the right of the eye that
it is allowed to be closed? Right especially in the night and you may have experienced this especially in the month of Ramadan that you know at nighttime you get really sleepy your eyes begin to close. So your eye deserves that it is allowed to close. Right so your eye has a right over you let it sleep. And then your visitor has a right on you and this is a reason why mumble hottie has brought this her these over here. Then we're in the lizardy garlic Huck that your visitor has a right over you. And what is that right that when when a guest comes then you don't just serve them food, but you also eat with them. And the thing is that if you're fasting then you cannot eat with
them. Right. And if your guest comes then they deserve that you spend time with them. Not that you just give them a place to you know sit down in or rest in. No you you actually spend time with them. But if you Were up all night, then you're going to be sleeping during the day. Right so people are going to come they're going to they're going to want to talk to you they're going to want to meet you but you're never available. Right? Or the call you and you you never respond because you're never available you're up all night and you're sleeping all day so your schedule is completely different and people cannot access you your guests cannot spend time with you. So your visitor has a
right on you. And then your wife has a right on you. And especially people who are you know, living with you they have a right on you and if you're fasting every single day that means that they cannot eat lunch with you they cannot eat dinner with you. You know they cannot eat breakfast with you they cannot enjoy you know ice cream with your coffee with you and things like that. So your your wife has a right on you. Your family has a right on you. And then the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam also told him that look, you're fasting every day. And remember that when it comes to good deeds, especially voluntary good deeds that we take upon ourselves, then unless protonmail likes
consistency, right, which means that once we start doing
Something good, we should not leave it. Right, we should continue with it to the best of our ability. So if the webinar I'm gonna was fasting every single day, then Okay, perhaps he was able to do that in his youth, but how would he keep that up when he would be old? And so the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said to him that I hope that you will live a long life, meaning how will you fast, so much when you're older? You won't be able to do that. But he understood, you know, how eager or the lemon Allah was for the reward of fasting. So he gave him an alternative and what is that, that you fast three days of every month? Why? Because when you will fast three days every single month,
then every good deed is multiplied by 10. So it will be as if you were fasting all the time. Right. So three fasts, if you keep in a month, that means you get the reward of 30 fasts. So it's as if you were fasting every day of the month, you're getting the reward anyway. Right? So and this is something so beautiful, that the fact is that no matter how much we worship Allah subhanaw taala it can never ever be enough. We learned a narration that if a person were to spend his entire life, dragging his face, on the ground, in humility, before Allah, soprano, Pardo, from the moment this person was born until he dies, even this, he would, you know, not considered to be sufficient on the
Day of Judgment, you get, meaning if a person were to spend their entire life, dragging their face on their ground, out of humility before our last panel time, on the day of judgment, they will think that this is insufficient. Why because it is insufficient. No matter what we do, it can never be enough. Because Allah subhanaw taala always deserves more. Remember that Allah, God is of Hamid, always and forever praiseworthy. So no matter how much we praise Him, we can never praise him enough, right that Worsley, finet and RNA, I can never, you know, encompass, or enumerate enough praise that you deserve, on the day of judgment when the angels will see the the wasn't that the
scales, alright. The reason
they will see that those that the Misa is so massive, so they will ask Allah subhanaw taala that, you know, whose deeds is it that you're going to wear in this meeting, this is so massive. So Allah Subhana Allah will say that whoever, for among my creation that I wish and the angels will say subhana wa merubah, the NACA hochkar eva tick, that Glory be to You, we have not worshipped you the way that you deserve to be worshipped. Subhana Allah and these are angels, who are constantly worshipping Allah subhanaw taala, glorifying Allah subhanaw taala, non stop, right. And they will also realize on the day of judgment that what they have done is not enough. So this is true, no
matter what we do, it can never be enough. Allah subhanaw taala always deserves more. So when Allah subhanaw taala has given us allowances. And what does that mean? That means that we should accept those allowances, when Allah Subhana Allah has given a certain good news or has made certain promises, right, that you do a good deed that and you will have 10 times it's like that we should believe in that. Right. And we should take advantage of you know, these opportunities and these promises that the last panel Tata has made, right, we learn about fasting in the month of Ramadan, but it should be with the sab with expectation of reward. So the Prophet salallahu alaihe salam gave
him a very beautiful alternative that fast three days every month, and you will get the reward of fasting all year long, basically. Right. And based on this Hadees and another Hadees. Also, we learned that this can be at any time of the month meaning beginning of the month, middle of the month, or end of the month. Yes, there are certain days that we are, you know, encouraged to fast, especially the three white days and then you have Mondays and Thursdays. But it doesn't, these three fasts. They're not limited to the middle of the month. All right, this can be any time of the month. And they can be in, you know in. They can be consecutive or they can be scattered through the month
and that's perfectly fine. We learned in our Hades. In Sahih Muslim eyeshadow de la Mourinho reported that the Prophet sallallahu or husana would keep three fasts every month, and he did not care whether they were at the beginning of the month, the middle of the month or the end of the month.
So the prophets of Allah
Tourism gave him this beautiful option and are the webinar mode because he loved to fast. He said, I can do more than that. Right? And he said, when he was narrating this, that I made things hard. And so they were made hard for me. So what happened the Prophet salallahu earnings, and I'm told him that okay, fast, three days every week, write that every single week, fast three days. But again, he said, No, this is not enough for me, I need to do more than that. He made things harder for myself and things were made hard for him. So he was advised to fast every other day. And this is what he started doing. And he was able to do that easily in his youth. But when he became older than this
was very hard on him. And this is why he mentioned that I made things hard. And so they were made hard for me. And this teaches us that, you know, when a person makes things hard for themselves, and things do become hard, so we should accept the rasa, you know, the allowances that Allah Subhana Allah has given.
And also, we should take advantage of the you know, the promises and the good news that our last panel has given and we should believe it.
So remember, Heidi brings us Hardee's over here to show
that your, your guest has a right over you. Meaning people deserve to visit you. They deserve to, you know, spend time with you to eat with you to sit with you, especially your loved ones, your close ones. And this is something so beautiful, because, you know, sometimes we think that we are very busy or important or things are very difficult. So we should not make time for people. But what in the Rizzoli Carla how if someone comes to visit you then they have a right over you. So it doesn't just mean that you serve them food and tell them that you know, I'm fasting, I will not eat I will just look at you know, they deserve that you eat along with them, that you sit with them. You
spend time with them, that you talk to them. So the right of the guest is not just that, you know they're served lavish food, the right of the guest is that you spend time with them. The next is BB e camiel. Bei fi will hit matiee Yeah, we'll be nuptse we'll call it e wave Ibrahim al mukalla amin economy brief, honoring the guest, Wahid Mati Yahoo been FC E and serving the guest oneself, meaning serving the guests with one's own hands. While only in the statement of Allah, the Exalted life Ibrahim and mukut amin, the honored guests of Ibrahim alayhis salaam. So in this bag, we see the importance of serving the guest yourself. A lot of times what happens is that, you know, when you
have a guest coming over, and, you know, in a lot of places in the world, people you know, they hire servants, etc. So people just have their servants serve the guests, right? And okay, that's fine. But it is more honorable, when you serve the guest yourself. Right? At times, what people do is that they only assign this work to certain individuals within the family. Like, for example, it's only the daughter in law, right? Where it is only the daughter, who has to bring the food and serve the guests, right, or it is only the wife, who has to bring the food and serve the guests. And everybody else, you know, whether it is the husband or it is the son or it is, you know, it was somebody else,
they're just sitting back relaxing, and certain individuals are working so hard and all of the burden is on them. So we see here that even if you have people to serve your guests, you should serve your guests yourself. Why? Because this is a part of honoring the guest. And this is what Ibrahim alayhis salaam did. And the last point I mentioned this in the Quran into to the area that held attacca Hadees. Obey Ibrahim and we'll call amin that has the news of the guests of Ibrahim reach to the guests of Ibrahim who were honored. Why were they honored? How were they honorable because Ibrahim RD is Salaam. He treated them with a lot of honor and respect. Right? How am I
serving them? So that is mentioned in the next verse? That is the hadoo Our Lady for Allah Solana when they entered on him and they said Salaam, Allah salaamu Coleman karoon he said saddam to them. And he said I do not recognize you. So we see that the guests sets alarm and they asked permission. And even though Ibrahim already said and did not recognize them
He's still welcomed them and he hosted them well then what do you think about family or people that you know when they come to visit? Then how is it that we should serve them? So what did Ibrahim Alayhi Salaam do he went to you know his family very quietly and he came back with a calf that was roasted and he put it right in front of the guests of a rubber who he lay him he put it right in front of them and he said Aren't you going to eat
so the thing is that you could have someone else serve your guests where you can just lay the food on the table and expect the guests to help themselves and that is fine because some people prefer to do that they prefer to take their food themselves but it is part of honoring the guests that you bring the food to them right with your own hands. Some sometimes this means that you place the food right in front of them and sometimes this means that you pour the food in their plate for them right all the above the law you call a now remember hardy is going to mention a little bit about the word
life and end zone which both of these words life and zone would mean a guest or visitor so he says that you all who has zone that this is his own meaning a wife is a guest is is owed meaning a visitor will How will he zone we'll leave on Walmart now who uglier who was the welder and these words which words zone and lay phone what they mean is a bf and zwaar meaning even though the word appears to be singular, you could say sold his visit her life his guest but it means guests and visitors okay. And those of you who are familiar with the familiar with the Arabic language you will understand this that you know on the surface zone appears to be a singular word, but the word itself
is such that it means it gives a plural meaning why only another Muslim because it is a muster Miss Lu Coleman Revlon widely just as the words comb Reba and like for example, comb means nation and the word itself a singular
sorry calm people right. So the word itself is singular but it's used as a plural
you follow me on hold on we'll be wrong hold on woman Annie Hold on one Mia hum load on where you call hold all of our arrow Latin Allahu della dilla ocular Shea in Lucca V for whom avartan so he brings other examples over here to show that you know singular dual plural all take the same word, alright, because there are words in the Arabic language that can be used like that. So in summary, one more thing, the zabuton Illumina zody will as well Emil, so in summary
zote life can refer to one guest two guests or more guests okay more than that also. So there is no limit to the number basically as long as your house can accommodate Mashallah and as long as the you know lockdown rules are respected and Charla things are good. Okay, so here also in the IRA we see that it's the life of Ibrahim al mukalla mean MK amin is plural right and leave appears to be singular but it's actually plural.
So let's look at the Hadees now had this in Abdullah Hebrew use of Kabbalah nomadic I'm sorry that need to be sorry than in lochbuie here and be sure a and in karbi and not asuna Allah He sallallahu alayhi wa sallam upon the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said man can I let me know below he will Yomi Lahiri for lucrin bifa who whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should honor his guest jet is a to yo Manuel ala on his jet visa, meaning his right or his do is one day and one night and inshallah we'll talk about what jet is a his worldly effa to and hospitality is selesa to a yam is a total of three days from a bar, the Delica for holesaw cotton, and whatever is after
that, then it is a charity. Well I Hilda who, and yes, we are in the who had the you had a Jew and it is not lawful for him to stay with him meaning with the host for so long, that he causes him hardship that the host begins to think or begins to wish that his guests would leave already had this is Maria Kala Heather's honey Malik Miss level was added. So a similar narration with the addition that men can or you know biLlahi will do Malathi folly a qualifier on only a smooth that
Whoever believes in Allah in the last day should speak that which is good or be silent. So, we've seen this hadith that if a person does not honor his guests, then this is a sign of deficiency in their faith, a sign of deficiency in their Amen. Because whoever believes in a line the last day, then such a person should honor their guest
let's look at all of these hobbies and then inshallah we'll discuss them together. Had doesn't have the law you have no Mohammed had this kind of numidian had this in a sufian or an OB have seen an OB solly hen and OB who later on in the BIA sallallahu alayhi wa sallam a call men can uh you know Billa he will he will ask him for you the Jada who whoever believes in a line the last day should not hurt his neighbor. woman can you know Bella he will Yeoman acid family yukirin life of whoever believes in alone the last day should honor his guest woman can help me it'll be laggy will your male athlete fall Jaco hi Ron Alia Smith. Whoever believes in a line the last day should speak what
is good or be silent had the end of the day but who had the thinner lay there and he is either gonna be heavy been on a be laid on rock bottom near Ahmed and love yellow Mourinho a no upon nyada sutala inequitable rasuna financing will be comin falaya Corona from a thorough so opeb anonymous said that we said that almost Cinderella. Sometimes you send us out meaning on certain expeditions. And we stopped with people but they do not give us hospitality. So then what do you say? What is it that we should do for pollen analysis? Allah He sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said to us that in nuzzel tomb becoming if you stop with the people, meaning if you stay
with them, you're traveling and in the middle you camp and you stay with some people for amaru Lacombe, my amberley baby for Apollo faac balloon and they command for you what is proper for our guests and accepted right. Like for example, imagine people are traveling through the desert, they come across, you know, a small village. So they stop there. And you know, people offer them some hospitality, food drink shelter. So if they offer that to you accepted for a Lumia for our Lu. And if they don't do that for hoodoo men who have got David Levy number 11, then you can take from them the right of the guest which they should give and inshallah we'll talk about that as well what the
right of the guest is and how you can take that had done Abdullah him and Mohammed had gotten a sham of a lot on Mr. Mehta on his way here and a bestselling author and a big lead author of the long run, aren't in the BIA sallallahu alayhi wa sallam upon mankind, I don't mean to be lazy with your mill FA for nucleon bifa whoever believes in Allah in the last day should honor his guest women can let me know below you will Yeoman African failure slender rahima whoever believes in Allah in the last day should join his ties of kinship. woman can you let me know below you will your male athlete failure call higher on odious what. And whoever believes and align the last stage should either
speak what is good or be silent. So all of these are how these we see that honoring the guest is tied to the faith of a true believer. Meaning it is part of Amen, that we honor our guests and honoring the guests doesn't just mean that you give them something to eat, honoring the guest means that you they you know treat them very respectfully you spend time with them, you you know serve them the best that you have, you are respectful in the way that you address them. And here we see that along with you know the guests right, the neighbor is mentioned, right? speech is mentioned and ties of kinship are mentioned. Right.
First of all, if you notice that it is mentioned that whoever believes in Allah and the Last is should speak what is good or be silent, because what happens is, that is typically at get togethers, right? When people are visiting one another, where when they're talking amongst themselves, it's very common that we start gossiping, right? We start saying inappropriate things. So, it is important that in such gatherings also, we are careful about what we say.
And then it is mentioned to not hurt the neighbor. Right The neighbors right is mentioned. Because a lot of times when people are, you know, are visiting one another they're getting together, then the noise and you know, it, it harms the neighbors or people don't park properly that is also a source of, you know, disturbance and annoyance for the neighbors and then join ties of kinship with
Because a relative deserves better treatment, right, so, when a relative visits you sometimes they perhaps want to stay for longer, and you'll have to be even more patient with them. So, it's very beautiful You know, the kind of things that are mentioned together in these are these. Now, one of the how these mentions that the the guests should be given his jet is
right his jet is and what his jet is a jet is it is for a day and a night meaning for the first 24 hours. Now, what is jet is a DJI is a hobby says give a gift, okay? Meaning when the guest first arrives, then for the first 24 hours, you really honor them with the best that you have, okay, this is when you take out those special, you know, dishes, you order nice food or you prepare the best food that you can, you know, you are running around to make their stay very hospitable, you are constantly available for them, you know, on their arrival, you give them a gift, etc. So this is the jet visa, right. And this is for the first 24 hours that you really treat them in the in the best
way. And then there is Wi Fi.
And what is the full hospitality, which is that you serve them whatever that you have, okay, you're not required to serve more than the ordinary food that you eat yourself. But you still should, you know, serve them whatever that you have easily available. Alright. And this is for the first three days, right? So the first day is Jessa for the next two days is Leah for hospitality. So so basically for a total of three days, you serve them the first day in the best way possible. And for the next two days, in in, in whatever that is available to you. So remember that jet Iza and Leah for our widget, okay. Jet is a LDF are mandatory, meaning we must we must give the guests the best
food that we can, you know, on the first day, and then for the second two days, whatever that is available, we must do that. Okay. But then after the three days, let's say somebody's staying over with you for a week, right? The neuroma that after the three days, then whatever you give them as charity, what does that mean? That means that you're not obligated to serve them. So for example, for the first three days, you lay the table for them, right? And then after that,
you don't have to do that. Meaning, if they want, they can get the food themselves, they can get the dishes themselves, they can get the water themselves. And that is perfectly fine. You know, what happens is that we think that if a guest has come into our house, then they will forever be a guest for like, the entire duration. So we don't let them do anything. Right. So we completely exhaust ourselves and tire ourselves out, and we just begin to resent their state, right? We just want them to go away already on the surface we come across as very nice and hospitable. But in our hearts, we are very unhappy with their state. Right. And that is because we're not following the sooner the
Sunday is the first day you treat them in the most lavish way that you can afford for the next two days you serve them still right. But then after that, you just let them be right you let them be and and You mind your own business also. And this is something that will make things easy for you and it will also make things easy for the guests, right. And then we see in these are these what is mentioned, a very beautiful etiquette that no guests should overstay their welcome, right. Meaning do not make the life of your host difficult. And that can be in the number of ways that can be for example, by demanding too much. So for example, they have laid the entire table they have, you know,
set the food, and then you say, Oh, I don't like this and I don't like that. Can you order this? Can you prepare this? Can you do it like this? Can you do it like that, and you're making things hard for them? Right? This is something that is unpleasant. And another is that you stay longer than expected or longer than You're welcome. So this can be you know, for example, at a dinner party, you after eating, you're just not leaving, and it's midnight, it's past midnight and you're still not leaving this is making the life of your host very difficult. And it can also be that you know, for example, if you're staying with someone you stay with them for so long, you save two days, but then
you end up staying for five days. 10
days and you are making life difficult for the host. So, no one should do that alright. So never overstay your welcome do not make the life of your host difficult, right. So very beautiful etiquette are mentioned in these are these
some other etiquette related to hosting. So first of all remember that when it comes to honor a hosting and honoring guests then this is the Sunnah of Ibrahim raisina. And this is something that we are obligated to do. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, as we learned earlier, but in a Rizzoli, garlic American, that your visitor has a right over you, meaning this is not optional. This is not optional, which means that if your guest comes, then you must honor them, you must serve them, you must be with them. Right? And the one who does not host his guests, well, then we learned I had these that love hire a theme and lay up for that there is no good in the person who does not
entertain guests. Meaning that people have come in, they're not served anything. You know, sometimes we think that we must have the most perfect food to serve our guests. And if we don't have the most perfect thing ever, then that means that we cannot serve anything. No if all you have is water, do that serve that, you know, I'm sure when you open up your refrigerator, you know your pantry, you'll find something to serve. So don't belittle anything. Alright? So because there is no good in the person who doesn't serve anything to his guests. And then remember that when it comes to hosting host all of your guests meaning no matter who it is, if they have come to visit you, if they have
come to, you know stay with you, then you host them well. Even if they were not good to you. in Hades, we learned that someone asked the Prophet sallallahu earning a Salaam that Yasuda Allah, I stayed with the men and he did not host me, meaning he did not show me any hospitality. And now he's coming to stay with me, shall I recompensing with the same meaning Should I treat him the way he treated me? And the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said, No, you should host him well. And what does that mean? You know, sometimes it happens, you go to visit certain family, in a different city in a different country, and you realize every single day, you know, people are their own world and you're
on your own, nobody's really you know, talking, and you're just stuck in the guestroom, you know, nobody's interested in making conversation with you, when it comes to food. You know, you don't know when you're going to eat. So basically, you are going out to eat yourself or you're ordering food yourself. So any you feel very disappointed and very hurt. And now, you know, they come to visit you. So what should you do treat them the same way that they treated, you know, you treat them in a better way. Right. And the same message basically is being repeated. You don't respond to harshness with harshness, and you don't respond to you know, people miss treating you with you mistreating
them, right, because a lot of times people don't know how to entertain guests, because nobody has welcomed them. Nobody has treated them nicely. So they don't know how to treat other people nicely. And then when it comes to, you know, hosting guests, we also learn in their head these that the Prophet sallallahu where it is, and I mentioned that there should be a bed for the men, there should be a bed for his wife, there should be a bed for his guest. And the fourth bed is for the devil. What does that mean? This means that in your house, you have a bed for you know, bedding as in a pillow blanket, etc. for every person who is in the house. And if you keep an extra one for a guest,
then that is something permissible. Right? But if you have more than that, let's say you have 15 right? Some people Michelle they're obsessed with nice pillows and you know, blankets, etc. So they're like collecting them if you have too many which are not being used and that is for Shay plan.
But basically this Heidi's we are shown that it is it is permissible for you to you know, have bed or you know, a room or anything like that prepared in advance for your guests that before they arrive you have something for them and this is something permissible and this is something that encourages us to host people. Right.
And also remember that part of being a good host is that you serve your guests before you help yourself. And I had these with her and the Prophet sallallahu wasallam said that one who serves a drink to his guests should be the last to drink. What does that mean? The first you serve them and then you eat then you drink. And a lot of times what happens is that, you know people will first eat themselves and sometimes in front of the guests.
Right, and then they will serve. Sometimes people are, you know, working in the kitchen and as they're working, you know, they're snacking on this and on that, and the guests are just sitting there watching, waiting for the food to be served. And then finally the food is served. So this is bad etiquette. Now there there's also etiquette related to the guest.
Meaning when you go as a guest somewhere, then then what is your obligation, we see that, first of all,
when a guest went when a person is invited, then they should respond to the invitation. When someone invites you, whether it is for a meal, whether you know they're inviting you for some work, etc, then you should respond. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that if one of you is invited for a meal, let him respond, if he is fasting, let him pray for the host. And if he is not fasting, let him eat.
So respond to the invitation. And when you're served food if you're not fasting, then eat and if you're fasting, then you should at least make golf for for the host. And if you are, if the fast is voluntary, then you can even break that fast as we will learn in another Hadees inshallah.
Then we see that when the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would visit, you know, when he would go as a guest, he would also, you know, talk to the children unrestful de la Mora, who reported that the Prophet sallallahu, Alayhi, wasallam, would visit the homes of the unsolved and he would greet their children with Salaam, he would pack their heads, and he would make the art for them. How beautiful is that? That when you go as a guest somewhere, then don't just mind your own business in the sense that you just go and eat and then you leave no, acknowledge the people who are in the house, acknowledge the children, you know, interact with them, play with them, make law for them, so
that they you know, the host will feel good in Sharma.
Another very important thing is that when, when you're invited as a guest somewhere, especially when a Muslim has invited you, then you trust them, you trust them with what with the lawfulness of the food, inshallah, and I had these leader and that when one of you enters the home of his brother, meaning a Muslim, and he serves him food, let him eat his food and not ask about it. Meaning, don't go on asking, Is this halal chicken? Or how long? And did you buy it from this grocery store? This halal butcher or that one? And do they say, you know, do they hand slaughter? Or do the machines? Don't start asking such questions. Because imagine now the food is at the table. And now you're
going to start interrogating them and embarrass them. Any This is very disrespectful.
And the Hadeeth continues that if he serves in one of his drinks, let him drink from it and not ask about it. So trust the Muslim that has invited you and this is part of respecting the host. And then we see a something in in these are holidays, that if you are visiting somewhere, and you're not given your right, then you can take it
where the companions asked that, you know, sometimes we stop at, you know, in a village or something, and people don't always entertain us. And this happens even with moose and feather. Right? So then
what do you do? So remember that if a guest is not served, or if a guest is not given their due, then they have a right to take? What is due to them in a manner that is appropriate. Okay. So for example, you go somewhere, someone invites you, right, you are at their home, and they don't even offer you water. Right. So are you allowed to go? And you let's say you're in the kitchen area in the living room? Are you allowed to go and get water from the kitchen tab? Absolutely. You are.
And you don't need to take permission for that. Right? Because this is my roof you have a right? That that you should be given water to drink at least something right? And, but this should only be with marbles, meaning in a way that is appropriate. This doesn't mean that now you start opening the refrigerator and start checking for snacks, etc. No, only take what is appropriate. Sometimes what happens is that you're staying at someone's house. And they don't serve you breakfast, right? Or they don't offer you any lunch or they don't offer you any dinner. So let's say you're going to the kitchen and you see some fruit on the table. Can you eat that? Absolutely you can do you need
permission? No you don't. But can you start going through the refrigerator and start cooking up meals. That would be inappropriate. But any you could you can eat something and that is your right
But you cannot take more than that.
And if you are served something and
you know, then you should accept that as a prophet sallallahu already said I'm advised and not criticize that or reject that because that would hurt the guest as Ibrahim earnest and I'm also got scared when the angels did not eat. So this is something very natural that the host would feel apprehensive. The last panel tada enable us to visit one another. So milus panel thought to remove this affliction from us. millas. puntata enable us to be grateful for so many of his blessings that we took for granted and mail us Pousada forgive us for our shortcomings does accumulate and cathedra inshallah we'll conclude over here. So protocol level mo will be handing a shadow Allah Illa illa
Anta esta Furukawa tukui Lake wa salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.