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Rights Vs Responsibilities In Marriage

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Sajid Ahmed Umar

Channel: Sajid Ahmed Umar

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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Sooner or later Rahim hamdulillah

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Nabina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa seldom at the Sleeman kathira Allah.

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Allah Allah, Allah Allah Allah Allah. In the current salary would Hakeem Allahu Medina and Pharaoh now when

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was it environment watermelon Daiquiri?

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Allah subhanho wa Taala we praise Allah subhanho wa Taala we see come up some kind of assistance and we seek guidance from Allah subhanho wa Taala.

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We also seek refuge in Allah subhanho wa Taala from the evils of ourselves, and the adverse consequences of our deeds, whom serve Allah subhanho wa Taala decrees guidance of one then none can misguide this person and will serve Allah subhanho wa Taala decrease misguidance upon the man can guide me and peace and salutations be upon the final messenger Muhammad Abdullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

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up a lot of children of Adam salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato. From the outset, it gives me great pleasure to be standing in front of you all, after a long absence. From the parkway in Harare, I arrived.

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Adam, I would like to begin today's talk with an ad

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from a room

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and this is from Hannah who was added as a

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one

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DVD and

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later.

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A lot

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of ideas, Adam, He created us, and he blessed us with many impressive blessings that we can never order from these blessings is that he called us to live this life.

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And those were the questions

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and decode the prophecy of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam from rebreathing is that divided us in our Islam.

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And from the blessing is that he revealed to us books and sent to us

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blessings. If Allah subhanho wa Taala gave us an internet

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and in the book of Allah, Allah,

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Allah,

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Allah,

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Allah,

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he addresses this.

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And he attaches this intellect, to certain tangible, certain aspects of creation, that when married to this intellect, gives a net result of us understanding the Divine Presence of Allah subhanho wa Taala

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and his divine abilities and his divine wisdom and his divine knowledge and so on and so forth. Allah subhanho wa Taala is this is a woman

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that from Allah subhanho wa Jalla science, from his science

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and as well as from his science is that he has created for you from amongst you, your spouses, so Panama, this concept of Nika marriage and zenwatch, Allah subhanho wa Taala has declared this concept, a sign from Allah subhanho wa Taala has many signs and wants to kind of word to Allah in His complete method of nurturing the oma never ever released to us a piece except that he explains it. So kinda who has Allah? Because Allah subhanho wa Taala says Lee test kulu Eliza so that perhaps you will take peace and serenity and contentment from her. And then Allah subhanho wa Taala highlights further blessings and things will come. And Allah subhanho wa Taala has placed between

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you Oh husband and wife, Melissa love

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care, wash man and mercy. And Allah subhanho wa Taala catch this ayah by saying, indeed, in this, in this marriage of ours, that we conduct during our lifetime in this world, in this marriage is a sign for those who fund them. For those who reflect and for those who deliberate we have a soprano who is our current with the understanding

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of servants of Allah and oh Children of Adam.

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Talks related to marriage and the institution of Nikesh are lengthy ones. In fact, workshops are conducted, to really to give this type of due diligence and give justice to this particular topic. However, in the remaining moments that we have, together with one another, this Friday, I would like to share with you a point that insha Allah will be a lesson for those who didn't know, and a reminder for those who might have forgotten.

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And inshallah will also be a means for us to solidify our managers with the lines that

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I try to point, our office rights versus the art of responsibility. And I based this particular title, from the bottom, we can say is what happens when

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Allah subhanho wa Taala instructs us never ever to forget our boundaries between each other, and our acts of kindness between each other, and the gifts that allow us to kind of adapt that has given both male and female today many a time, not meaning to sound negative, we hear a husband or a while saying that according to him, and so and so I don't have to cook for my husband. And a husband might say According to him, and so and so I don't have to cover the medical expenses of my wife, for example, this is something that comes up again without meaning to sound negative.

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Now, this is a discussion that is held at the level of the scholars depending on demands have a level of sex of the person saying this particular thing. But for us today, what we need to understand is these discussions pertain to rights

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as marriage or servants of Allah, and oh Children of Adam transcends, we have written rights, because marriage is the institution of emotional well being and dealing between human beings. And this is a reality. In fact, with this understanding, we understand that what the sphere of rights comes the sphere of responsibility, a sphere that transcends the sphere of rights, a sphere that is much broader than the sphere of rights for marriage can never be an account, that husband and wife only was

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such that the bank balance goes below its limits, and the marriage ends up in difficulties. And then we reaching out for our rights rights is that aspect and phenomenon that is looked at when push comes to shove

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as human beings that interact with one another, creating a form of cohesion, mutual cohesion, and independent cohesion between two independent parties. It's important to understand the emotional aspect and the emotional aspects falls within the realm of responsibility. And to make this clear, allow me to share with you a piece from the fear of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam.

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People will talk in English the app. And even second thing is for my five and a half between Katharina Dahlia when

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they mentioned that her teacher of yoga

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was married twice before she married Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam. And she had children from those marriages. And when she married Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam she has a young child called him called him.

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And Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is reported to have been with this child as a father, not as a husband to his mother. He was with this child as a positive. It wasn't a case of rights, that it's not upon me to spend time with this child to look up to this child. in the same breath. It

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took Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam into her own property. She didn't say that it is your duty to place a roof over my head that do what you have to do and my home is free from us living in this home for the course of this marriage. It was a concept of responsibility. They transcended the realm of rights and ends with the framework responsibility. It wasn't a typical attack. That happens in some marriages today, that if your English visit me then I will visit them and the wife will say

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Well, when I was in, your parents didn't listen to me. So when you don't accept my parents to assist, for example, or if they, for example, if we didn't get $5 US dollars, not Zimbabwe dollars, that's history now, we didn't get $5 million from this particular parent, or from this particular relatives, then we will give their child exactly what they gave us. Why because your contract is a tit for tat. This is not. This is not a bank balance, where everybody's depositing and withdrawing as per the other deposits and withdrawals. One of my lecturers in Riyadh once said, he said, don't live in your marriage, let the person turn into packets, right a packet of good. Then when your wife

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does good to you, you throw it into that packet, and the packet was bad when she does back to you, you throw it into that packet as well. But the problem is the packet which carries the good has a hole underneath it. So every time there's good, it goes into the packet. And every time there's a mistake, it goes into the backpack of instincts. So when a problem arises, what happens we look at our bags and say, Look, it's good practice and

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the backpack is full. We shouldn't be those people. It could be people of Malaysia and Russia. So panelizer scholars often say that it is the wisdom of Allah subhanho wa Taala to place love and mercy in the marriage,

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love and mercy in the marriage. So when the love is lacking, sometimes we treat our spouse with mercy as the kind of words that his mercy put upon us we know the level of our Ivanka and how weak our sincerity and Toshi is as well, but unless you kind of wanted to Allah

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conducts himself with us with the quality of Ratna. And we make dua to Him and He grants us our requests. And it allows us to wake up with near him and benefits every single day. The greatest benefit is the name of Islam, Allah, Allah Allah, Allah subhanho wa Taala caused us to pass away as Muslims, I mean, so this is the point of service of Allah, children of Adam, we are of responsibility versus the art or price if we can transcend and live with one another based within the sphere of responsibility, our marriages will become stronger, we will be better beings to the next generation that we are bringing up that will come after us because they will live in a home of

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harmony, a home of peace, and we will become people who truly will utilize our managers to worship Allah Subhana Allah. And this is a fact. Marriage is a way to worship Allah subhanho wa sallam, before you were married, there were certain acts of worship you could not do, which now with you being married, you have the ability to do you have the ability to add to the agenda, and make your scales of duties heavy on the day of

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the marriage, who cannot be allowed to call of Hannah, who is Allah is merciful upon us that even this institution of marriage is a means of us becoming closer to him. When we transcend, we have this ability of increased further, we know that every morsel that we feed our families is of sadaqa. And the smile that we give them is a saga and so on and so forth. And now we have a greater means of earning the salary by being merciful to them by not looking at what they did, in comparison to what we will do. May Allah subhanho wa Taala granted the understanding.

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living our life this way or servants of Allah prevents our marriages from being on the rocks. You always say marriage on the rocks, and even marriage, marriages off the rocks, right. And left in this way are servants of Allah, children of Adam, that prevents us from falling out of love. As some of the youth say today, six months while I've fallen out. The problem is you fell in love. That's why you fell out of love. Because polling is never good. Polling is never good, we should have this policy of growing in love. This is the paradigm that Islam teaches us that we should grow in love with each other. And growing in love, again, brings focus to this concept of responsibility versus

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responsibility versus right whenever one person does more than they should. It allows the love to develop in the opposite spouse and vice versa. So this is very important are servants of albino children. Now, a question that's come up sometimes and that is Allah subhanho wa Taala says that marriage is an institution that causes serenity and peacefulness in our lives, right? It causes serenity and peacefulness in our lives, but I live a life of turbulence. And I live the life of Tom was the day I got married was in here became depressed.

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Now this does not take away any credit from the artist, the actuality authenticity of the eye is in this place. For we should remember that the laws of Allah subhanho wa Taala and the revelation of Allah subhanho wa Taala all these are from one perfect source so there's no contradiction. There is no contradiction. When Allah subhanahu Allah tells us that the institution of marriage is tantamount to serenity in your life. There is one condition that you look after the other columns of Allah subhanho wa Taala

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Before marriage and after marriage as well as the etiquettes, the morals we manage.

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When we look at everything as a package, the net result of this marriage is the test kulu Allah, that Allah subhanho wa Taala will cause serenity and contentment imposed upon us.

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Before I am, in the next three or four minutes, allow me to share with you a story narrated by a gentleman in Sierra Nevada in the football game, and there have been talks about a famous person from the television show, he can probably refer to it.

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And they say that once a sharpie, and a sharpie was from the senior savvy, the most knowledgeable of them, came to him and said, paper Carolyn, how you call this relation? He said, I'm well and he said, how's your family, meaning your wife, and he said, he actually had in the best of ways, and he says k power. And he said, that, I give you glad tidings that for 20 years, I never became obsessed with them. For 20 years. I never ever became obsessed with them, except once working towards him. He said, except once and I was the oppressor. He didn't deserve that I became upset. So I try being quiet further, and duration for

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me, and he said that the first day of our marriage when I entered upon her, I observed to have Salah, and I made the Salah to find her, frustrating my frustration. And making the salon was my salon she entered upon his palette. And this really grew his love for and he says I reached out to her but she said, meaning Wait a moment. He said he's the kind of love that she made the chutzpah just like you will hear she made the hook back to him. She prays Allah subhana wa garland for assistance and said that I am a strange person to you and you are a strange person to me. My character is unknown to you and your character is unknown to you before we travel this further,

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explain to me your likes and dislikes so that I may look up to them for you. So parallel PLR This is the do's and don'ts that couples should share between themselves. So they don't by mistake do something that the other spouse would not love that would not like that. She ended her foot by and he began his and he explained who he loves in his home and who he dislikes from entering his home to la de la and he says that she lived our lives day after looking after these do's and don'ts. We almost always Allah grant us this understanding and transparency in our marriages. For those that are about to get married male was a panelist Allah showered upon the captain Baraka and Grantham

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marriages that last a lifetime and obedient children that will be a means of them bettering their position in the year after, I mean, I am with the heaviness of ownership and managing the suffering for

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them said for you to come, complete, utterly,

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utterly. prosumers Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that the best form amongst you was Allah Subhana who was Allah is the one who is best to his families and I am best to my family. How the Allahu Allah, Allah wa Sallim wa barik ala nabina Muhammad for early for me