Fostering – A Forgotten Sunnah
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Channel: Sajid Ahmed Umar
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Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah ala alihi wa sahbihi educar in my bad rubbish Radley sadri westerly Emery loca data melissani Yakubu Polly or praise belongs to Allah subhanho wa Taala Allah alone, we praise Him and we seek his assistance and guidance, and we seek refuge in Allah from the evil of ourselves and the adverse consequences of our deeds. We testify that whomsoever Allah guides and unconvince guide, and whomsoever He must guides then then can guide and we request praises and salutations upon the final messenger, Muhammad Ali Abdullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, I bear witness that there's no one
worthy of worship besides one Allah, and that Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam is His Messenger, my dearest brothers and sisters in Islam, I greet you with the greetings of Islam, the greetings of peace, and the greetings of the people of Paradise salam, O Allah here alikum warahmatu wabarakatuh May the peace and blessings of Allah subhanho wa Taala Allah be upon you all. COVID-19 has been with us for over a year now, and has made that which we normally consider highly unlikely and actual norm.
In the blink of an eye, the meaning of an presidency was deleted from the term unprecedented, and with death being dubbed as something that is merely a handshake away. So Pamela, we have been forced to recalibrate how we view life and how we approach our own eminent and at this point, we ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to preserve us in his obedience, and to only cause us to die when he is pleased with us. And we ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to show a cure and ease upon the affected and grant the deceased a grave resembling a garden from the gardens of Jenna. I mean your blood I mean, the believers my brothers and sisters in Islam as stated by the final messenger Mohammed Abdullah
sallallahu alayhi wasallam are always in a win win situation for the visit the station of is still far or seeking forgiveness from Allah subhanho wa Taala when they sin, and they traveled to the fields of patience during times of difficulty, and then they settled upon the plains of gratitude during the moments of ease. Indeed, a believer lives between gratitude, patience, and seeking forgiveness from Allah subhanho wa Taala. They do this in their endeavor to live paradise centric lives filled with voluntary worship after compulsory worship. And not just any voluntary worship My dears brothers and sisters in Islam, but voluntary worship which yields unimaginable rewards on
equity or returns on equity which we call rewards. From these acts, brothers and sisters in Islam, these acts of worship is the worship of fostering an orphaned child, which is the topic of today's direct access broadcast. In Islam, brothers and sisters in Islam, and often is considered to be a child born without a father until the age of puberty, and as such our very own messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam the best of mankind was a born orphan himself. As a result we learn that orphans are not weak, no are the elements of our sorrow Rather, they are a means of our salvation, and a means for our salvation. And this reality is epitomized in an authentic narration reported by
sahalie been sad robiola one in which he states that the messenger sallallahu alayhi wasallam said I know a calf Iulia team Phil Jenna her Kava, and he brought his fingers together. He said, Sal, Allahu Allah. He was telling them that myself and the kids
Take off and often will be in paradise like this and he held his two fingers together so Pinilla this narration highlights to us how aligned the reality of the messenger sallallahu alayhi. wasallam is to the reality of an orphan, and how aligned our reality can be if we resemble the realities of those who looked after the messenger sallallahu alayhi wasallam. By Allah brothers and sisters in Islam orphans are not considered weak. However, Islam does teach us that they are vulnerable. And this is not to belittle them in any way or take anything away from them, but rather to provide a means for us to further build our paradise. Yes, we were sent to build gender and in front of us our
means to build gender, vests, brothers and sisters in Islam. They are not a burden By Allah, they are not a burden. Rather, they are an opportunity for us. They are an opportunity to soften our hearts for the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said to a man complaining of a heart heart in the narration of Abu hurayrah Viola Whoa. And if you want to soften your heart, feed the poor and pat the head of the orphan. So Pandora bill Allah. In addition, orphans brothers and sisters in Islam are a means for us to receive divine support from Allah subhanho wa Taala. That protection that we need and we don't know that we need it, protection that we receive and we don't know that we
receiving it. And we receiving this protection because of the vulnerable around us. Subhana Allah. Mousavi been sad reports that said he viewed himself as better than those beneath him. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam said to him, Are you not given support and provision due to the vulnerable ones around you? The vulnerable ones, the vulnerable ones, admits to you. So Pamela, what an amazing lesson from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he is teaching us that are we not supported you to the patient, the patients of the vulnerable the vulnerable ones due to their they do our due to their humbleness due to their servitude, La ilaha illa Allah, a great paradigm
shifting lesson from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and like this we find the similar lesson in the hadith of Buddha, Ravi Allah who and which is reported in sunon activity. We cannot afford to forget my brothers and sisters in Islam, the important that they employ importance rather of the topic of Kabbalah truly a team especially during a time brothers and sisters in Islam, when life not being guaranteed, is even more guaranteed than ever remember earlier we said that this past year has been dubbed as the year in which between ourselves and death is a mere handshake. kafala truly a team idea brothers and sisters in Islam refers to fostering a child as we know it in the
English language and it comes from the statement of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam I know what kaffee lulea team as we discussed earlier, when we mentioned this narration where the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that he and the caretaker often often will be together in paradise in paradise like this. Now, what's the common term for this in the Arabic language, the common term for Kabbalah to Leah team is fostering and sometimes sorry, fostering in the English language as a translation to the Arabic term kafala to the a team. Sometimes we see calf Allah to the a team, this Arabic term being translated using the English term adoption. In fact, in some systems in the modern
world, we see both terms being used with fostering a child referring to a temporary arrangement with that child, or with that orphan and adoption, referring to a more permanent arrangement with that orphan. Additionally, brothers and sisters in Islam, we note the term adoption being used in reference to another aspect, which in the Arabic language is known as a Benny right at Ebony. adoption is also used as a translation for Benny and Benny in Islam is forbidden. A Tibetan is forbidden and it refers to a person taking
or a person taking the his lineage and applying it to someone else's child's lineage, right, whereby confusion happens in the lineage of the child, while Allah subhanho wa Taala has set as an objective from the objectives of the Sharia, the preservation and protection of a child's lineage. And this concept of the bended knee, as we said, is forbidden and we know this from the book of Allah subhanho wa Taala, in which Allah subhanho wa Taala said withdraw humbly obey Him who are up to software in the law, fading them tell them about a home for a while, confit Dini, Wham o alikum. When he said alikum Jr. On FEMA to be well, I kill him kulu boom, what can Allahu la foto rahima
Allah Subhana
Who has to Allah says call them by their father's names. It is more just in the sight of Allah subhanho wa Taala that you do so. But if you do not know their father's names, then they are still your brothers in religion, and they are those who have been entrusted to you. This is the reality of an orphan brothers and sisters in Islam. And Allah subhanho wa Taala says, and there is no blame upon you for that which you have heard, because you didn't know.
And Allah subhanho wa Taala says that blame is only based on what you intend. And Allah subhanho wa Taala is the most forgiving, the Most Merciful. In light of this brothers and sisters in Islam. We sometimes mistakenly hear people say that adoption is haram in Islam. is the statement accurate adoption is haram in Islam. Based on what we've just taken, we would see that this is not entirely true. Why? Because Islam doesn't base rulings upon terminology. Islam bases rulings upon reality. So if adoption is used,
upon a setting that doesn't entail changing the title of the child's lineage, then here, adoption would be permitted islamically despite it being called adoption, and if adoption was used in a setting whereby the child's lineage was tampered with, then in this particular circumstance and situation, adoption would be impermissible. Not because of the term, but rather, because of the reality. So I hope
I've added or I've brought about some clarity, for those who have been battling this particular difference in terms of should we call it fostering, or should we call it adoption, and the differences between the legal setting with regards to these terminologies and the Sherry are setting Islam is more interested in the reality and not so much the terminology. Now, there's so much to say brothers and sisters on this topic. And to help us with today's episode and based on the bulk of the questions that you all send in when news of this particular broadcast went out.
A lot of your questions are related to the procedural side of adopting and this gave me much calm and it pleased me because they showed me that at hamdulillah in terms of the importance of the topic, there is the clarity amidst the Muslim communities on Isla Hill him so to help get your answers to the genre of questions that we received related to the demonstrate of sight of the of the concept of fostering or the concept of adoption I have with us to help educate us efficiently in sha Allah, two brothers, two guests, who I love for the sake of Allah subhanho wa Taala. The first of them is brother Shadi, the CEO of my foster family, who is a bespoke fostering recruitment and
Training Specialist. He also plays a pivotal role in being part of the National Adoption recruitment steering group, and he's a board advisor at the Bradford foundation Foundation Trust. Also, I have with us someone Mashallah who has been attending my lectures and seminars in the UK for 10 years or more now, Mashallah varkala brother Sorry, brother, so he even though he has the name, so here which in the Arabic language means small brother so here is COVID Mashallah Tabata Kala he is his rather big for the footprint and the legacy he's leaving in the service of Allah subhanho wa Taala Alhamdulillah he has successfully gone through the adoption process will Allah heal him then he will
be able to share with us much like with Elijah Anna so without further delay, let me bring our guests on insha Allah, Masha Allah Tabata Kala pradesh Adam, can you can you can you hear me brother so here? Are you with it?
Muslim
It's a pleasure to have you both with us. We're Lila Hill Hamed this evening we are loss of Canada to Allah accept from us and purify our intentions. And we are most proud of who Allah grant us steadfastness in that which we say and that which we share. And we Allah subhanho wa Taala make our time together a means for the building later Allah I mean, yeah, I mean, it's a real honor having you all I shared a brief introduction regarding you both, I don't know if you manage to,
to to catch on to it.
But let's kick things off. Immediately. I'm going to start with brother Shadi. Mashallah because the my foster family, this network and this operation that you've been involved in for a long time, Mashallah. It's not foreign to me, I am aware of it across many years now.
during different trips to the UK, and this is testament Alhamdulillah to the good work that the project is doing and the reach that the project has really led him so you know, off the bat, I'd like you to
Please enlighten us. Tell us about what is my foster family? When was it founded? Where is it based? Why does it exist? What's it vision? And what have you achieved thus far? If you could share that with us, it will be absolutely phenomenal. Allah subhanho wa Taala Bless you. I mean, I mean salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato. First, exactly have shake. It's a great honor and privilege to be with you this evening. And I
fully, you know, in in all of the work that you and many others have done before us in in the Mersey mission, world, Hamidullah, many of you will know that,
you know, my foster family is a UK based organization, we're a nonprofit, and the organization was actually launched in 2019. But the foundations of it go back much, much further. So
historically, mercy mission UK established the Muslim fostering project to look at the challenges of Muslim children going into care in the UK, there's always been many issues around the fact that there's been a shortfall of Muslim foster carers, and of course, Muslim adopters, but particularly in the fostering side of things, there's been an acute issue.
When the when mercy mission UK first launched the Muslim fostering network, there was many challenges within the community. And one of the key issues that we always have as a community is that hungry law we do a great deal of work internationally, we support many orphans and many charities that do such great work. And, and we overlooked as a community, our responsibility in the places where we live. So the reason why the Muslim fostering project and my foster family was first settled, was to raise awareness in the Muslim community about the shortage of foster carers and adopters and also to support
local authorities and government to better engage with the community and break down the barriers and there's two key barriers that we have one that sits within the Muslim community which is a lack of awareness, a lack of understanding. On the other side is the barriers that are put up by
local authorities and this has been recognized in many, many areas and research that more can be done for the sector to be more welcoming towards
people of beam, black, Asian minority ethnic black homes and and in our case for the Muslim community. hamdulillah. During this time, we have supported over 40 local authorities. We have worked with fostering and adoption recruitment agencies across the UK hamdullah we've supported over 3000 prospective Muslim foster carers.
Part of our process is to educate and get people to understand about what the challenges are with the recruitment process. And, you know, in terms of the main achievements of the organization during this time, under law, we have established
an event called foster Friday, where we encourage the mosques to take part in delivering a sermon on fostering hamdulillah. During these last three years, we've had over 200 mosques. We've been well supported by the Muslim Council of Britain, and countless Muslim, some of you that are here from the UK, may well have heard a lot about some point from within your local mosque. That's something that we have supported the mosques with providing them information, preparing a guideline has been on and they've helped us deliver that.
One of the things that we also concern ourselves with is not just the recruitment of Muslim foster carers and adopters is also to support Muslim children are already in care. And quite often, these Muslim children have to be placed with non Muslim foster carers. And part of our work is also to support those non Muslim foster carers to understand the faith needs of these Muslim children and hamdulillah. During the last three years, we've supported over 1000 non Muslim foster carers, we providing them with educational gift boxes at the start of Ramadan to help them understand about Ramadan to understand about the culture
and the lifestyle of Muslim children. And we've had tremendous feedback from those foster carers because the reality is is that this is a societal issue. It's a responsibility that we should all consider. And we should work together with both the Muslim community and a non Muslim people who participate in this great work and and support them.
You know, the underlying reason for establishing the project was to preserve the faith and demand of Muslim children. That's the number one reason why we exist. And as part of that, it's our responsibility to help those who want to become foster carers and adopters and also at the same time to support the sector and the system to be more accommodating and help them reach the communities and most importantly to ensure that our Muslim children who go through this process have the best possible life chances inshallah.
Mashallah Tabata kala, this is phenomenally shared him this is a you know what, what you should
really hit home.
Obviously, too many of you, you really could clarify something, you clarified it for me as well that at the beginning, when I was aware of the project, it wasn't known as my foster family. But definitely the roots were there. Early, I think we sat together maybe three or four years ago and discussed this particular concept of fostering and adoption and some of the Islamic issues around it and even strategy in terms of you know, to go forward with it looking after the Islamic ethos.
There's more that I have to ask you, but before that, let's bring on Mashallah, my dear brother. So here, now Allah subhanho wa Taala. Bless you, honestly, I when I received the news of your successful journey, and sense the excitement in your voice, when you are sharing it with me,
I can't express
how I felt it definitely takes a particular mindset and a mindset to go ahead and do what you have done and what others like you have done. So I guess for our our viewers, they have questions that I had before, you know, we chatted, what motivated you to adopt? And a big question. I'm seeing this popping up right now on social media. For those who are who are watching the feed, how difficult is the process? I mean, if we could scale it between one in 10? How difficult is the process? And in? Did you go? Did you sort of get guidance from my foster family?
Either before it became my foster family, or after? And in general? What does it mean being a parent to an adopted child, and I've asked you a lot, I hope you've you've jotted these points, please go ahead and speak to us ally very quick. Thank you.
In terms of motivating me to adopt, you know, we've, both the wife and I have always actually wanted to adopt, and ever since learning about the reward for adoption. And then after a few years, I've been married, and struggling to have children or within sites to try the adoption route.
Now, luckily for me, and I was had access to some very good friends who had already adopted and also I had access to my foster family, you know, just before we became my foster family. So I was actually provided quite a bit of help throughout the whole journey from the beginning of how to apply, you know, where to go the kind of questions. So basically, the kind of things that we're probably going to talk about today, really, and the kind of questions that people have, that they will have same kind of questions I had, you know, when I was interested in going for adoption, but luckily, like I said, I had access to a couple of friends who have been through it, and my foster
family who helped me throughout the whole process. Now the process itself is, is actually quite long. And it's actually extremely detailed. And it's very inclusive. In terms of difficulty. I think, again, because of the
generator, quite good prep that I received from the friends who had gone through it, and also, from my farm, my foster family, I mean, out of 10, if I were to rate difficulty as 10 being extremely difficult, I'll probably say, maybe five to six. And I think a lot of it just comes down to your own kind of pragmatism and motivation as well. And, you know, and looking at the bigger picture, you know, and they will, there will be parts of the process that will be frustrating. And there'll be quite long and so on and some parts that you might think that are not even relevant, but you're just trying to remember the the bigger picture here, but why are you doing the journey and, and staying
steadfast in it and continuing?
Yeah, so it is quite difficult. I mean, it takes mostly how difficult there is, it's all depends on individual experiences. And sometimes it's a lot of luck as well. You might get lucky in terms of having a kind of open minded social worker.
And to be family like I would say the vast majority of them are, but you might get a bit unlucky as well. You know, whether it was a social worker maybe isn't as understanding and so on. But the good thing of my foster family being available is that if you know you do have a cup across any any type of issues
They are available to help throughout the whole process. And then and they were there for me, definitely. And hamdulillah now is actually a proper organization that is able to provide a service to everybody who went through it. Mashallah, anybody by luck. Just to clarify, you're obviously my father, I know you've been together, it's just a figure of speech, you
know, whether you get when you know that the type of mindset you have have on the other side, but it's refreshing to know that there is help that mitigated. So if, if 10 is extremely difficult,
five, six would be your rating. And it would have been worse if it wasn't for, you know, my foster family. But also, I recall you telling me that even the program itself meaning on a national scale, they do have training, they do offer,
you know, education, with regards to this how, how well, did that fear in assisting you throughout the process? Is it something that brought you closer to it? Or made you have more questions? Maybe took you further away?
Yes, no, that was actually extremely helpful. In that application, you know, that the training process was it was extremely good, they very good in terms of preparing you for the adoption. And the key thing is actually, once you do adopt the child, is to actually try to follow the advice. And and actually, after maybe two years, you start to see the benefits of some of the things that you did, then, and some of the things that they will tell you to do, would be different to the kind of things you probably have learned through kind of printer family and how they portray their children. But they, you know, I mean, the UK Council, they're kind of fostering a kind of element of it have
gone through a lot of medical research, a lot of psychological research. And for the decades, I've been doing it, and actually, what they say doesn't make sense. It's just about you being quite open about it. So it was a process wise. So just to see if I can explain the kind of step by step for adoption. So after making an inquiry, you know, you, you will basically have a session with a foster social worker, who would ask you a few questions just to kind of understand your motivations and, and try to kind of do an initial an initial assessment to see if it's suitable to go ahead with it, then they will go into a bit more of a detailed assessment, where the last few few more questions
could write the answers down and so on. This part isn't that difficult to be fair, and they'll ask you for some contract mutations as well. After doing that part of it, that's when you go into training. And the training, the training, actually, like I said to user, I mean, it's some of it is recommended and decent kind of
kind of compulsory, some parts are compulsory, my advice would be to attend every session they provide. And just to give you a kind of a highlight of it, I mean, they explained the whole process from beginning to end, and in a lot of detail, explain even why children are indicated and so on, and why some are fostered and why some need to get adopted. And then interestingly, they actually teach you the parenting skills
that are required to hit not just children, but especially adopted children, because they explained the kind of potential issues that might have one of the interesting concepts that are spoken about before, I know you were very interested in what's called attachment theory. So when a child you know, who's, you know, living with matching from foster parents for like, six months, or a year even, and now you've taken him on board, they naturally might have issues with attachment, because they've, they've lost their primary carer, you know, that those have issues can remain for the rest of their lives, actually. And, and, and that's the root cause that they need to kind of one of the
kind of meanings of adoption, you know, from a UK perspective is to match them to parents who can give them that ability, and create and enhance their ability to create lasting and meaningful attachments to people.
So that's a very kind of interesting
subject, but they actually give you some very specific and, you know, various techniques on how to treat that including something called therapeutic parenting and so on. I mean, honestly, just on a purely personal level, emotional intelligence and be part of all this stuff. I mean, that's really good to know, because a lot of people, obviously, you tend to, I wouldn't say think negatively, but you do sort of bring a lot of the realities in front of you and those realities can overwhelm you and you sort of hyperventilate and sort of get turned off like you know like you saying what's gonna happen to the emotional intelligence or the emotional side of the child, the intellectual side of
the child, the physical side of the child, their diet, I come from a particular background My home is upon a particular setting, how will I manage and obviously knowledge is power. Allah subhanho wa Taala revealed so it's really good to know that all all this training
is there and hamdulillah and Masha Allah, you know, you speaking from experience, and it's there for everyone to see what the hell happened and you speaking from great experience, and I could see brother shouting
nodding his head. So brother shadow him is definitely approving, you know, everything that was said, but to bring our brother in the shadow because like a lot of heroin
you know,
you shed a lot regarding, you know, the the basis for my foster family and everything that you've done so fine and the work speaks for itself. But you did highlight an important point and that was protecting the faith, the men of the Muslim of the Muslim child. I mean, if I was to request a ballpark figure from you and say, and in the UK at this moment, how many Muslim children do you think out there?
And authorities are looking for families to look after them? And how many of these children or would these children be placed with non Muslim families? And If yes, then what percentage of these children would we have there? And what is mmm MFF, the Muslim foster family program doing to help non Muslim carers?
Looking after Muslim children, I know I'm packaging a few questions together. But they are the related. That's okay, shake. I mean, this mother, the first thing I just wanted to give some clarification to is that Mashallah brother severe had a, let's say, a relatively good experience of going through the adoption process because of the support network he had around him. Yeah. But there is many examples of people who don't have the best experience. You know, this has been reported quite widely in the media. And there has been cases highlighted where there's been elements of discrimination as well. Okay. So what we have to factor in is that, could you explain that
discrimination? How so? So, to give you an example, from our research, we saw that
80% of Muslim applicants don't go past the initial inquiry stage. Wow. Hey, that's, that's that's very high. Yeah. If you compare that to the national average, it's, it's 70%. Okay, so what we have to recognize is that, generally speaking, the fostering and adoption process is quite intrusive. I don't know if people are fully prepared. And unless they have that support network around them on the understanding, they're gonna find that really challenging. Okay, so that's the first thing that we need to be clear on it, could you just share? And what would you say? Top three reasons, top top reason why we have 70 to 80% failure rate here? I mean, is that purely down to discrimination? Or
the other factors involved? No, I think there's other factors involved. One is some of the barriers that we put up within our own community. Yeah. So such as if such as we were discussing previously, prior to this call about the marriage issue, for example, you know, the Muharram issue? Yeah.
Yeah, so this being one thing that often puts people off, because
they're challenged by fully understanding whether it's acceptable or not, yeah, the second issue is a cultural issue, where we tend to discuss a lot amongst our family and friends, you know, people can be put off by some of the stigmas associated with adoption and fostering to
some of these people have said that, you know, their family and friends are asking, you know, why are you looking after another child, you know, what is, you know, somebody who may not be able to have children, for example, you know, it's, it's something that they have to publicly share, you know, so there is various stigmas that our community has been known to express to friends and family, such as you know, in fostering elementary law in this country, you're paid. So as a foster carer, you're paid to do that. Yeah. People have questioned what people's intentions are behind fostering or becoming adopters. So these are some of the cultural barriers that we have to consider
from a community perspective. Some of our very simple issues are not enough space. Yeah, you have to have a spare bedroom. So space is an issue. humbler? We often live in multi generational households. So we issues, language barriers can certainly be an issue, because the actual assessment process is quite intrusive. There's a lot of questions that are asked, there's a lot of,
you know, soul searching that goes on, because, you know, they look back at your history, there's a lot of questioning of your home environment, your relationship with your partner, if you're married, how you feel about this, how you find why the wedding networks feel about this. So this is what intrusive element shake, which becomes a little bit more difficult and challenging. But if you just go back to the statistics that you asked about, yeah. There's currently an 80,000 children in Canada, UK.
Children. No, no, no. Okay.
And I'm going to give you a bit of a political answer now because the question that you asked me about how many Muslim children
I can't accurately answer
for that is because when a child goes into care in the UK, it's not a statutory obligation for the local authority to record the faith. Right? The statutory obligation to record the ethnicity. So we know how many bank children they are in care, which bank children account for 25% of children who care. So this is just how things are categorized here. And I'm reading this because somebody might be thinking, just tell us how many Muslim children right? Yeah, we can't because of the way data is recorded. Right, right. So of the 80,025% is beam, black, Asian, minority ethnic. So this is 25%. So this is 20,000 children, right. But what I can tell you is that in the UK, if you said that the
number of children in care is reflective of the population, so we are about 5%. Right? Your estimate that 5% of 80,000 is 4000. Children. Yeah. 4000 4500. Yeah, yeah. Now, what you need to add to that shake is that currently, in carrying the UK there is approximately four to 5000, unaccompanied asylum seeking children?
Okay, four to 5000 Okay. If you take the combination of these two, and we know that not all of those children are Muslim or not all of them will be practicing as Muslims. So data may not be stated. Nevertheless, my estimate is there somewhere between I would say six to 7000 Muslim children in care at this time span of law. Okay. So we asked, what what percentage would you say I was non Muslim terrorists, I would just imagine that this numbers game carriers looking after these children, the research done on this so Mashallah Penny appeal, which is a UK charity did some work in this in 20 1700, they did an excellent piece of work. At that time, they identified 3000 Muslim children in
care and 50% of them with a non Muslim carers. Yeah. However, the research didn't factor in the asylum seeker, refugee children living in care.
And because the local authorities were not recording the actual statistics, they didn't know actually how many, it was an estimate, right. So let's say my hypothesis is 67,000. So there's about three and a half 1000 children and non Muslim carers. And as I explained earlier, one of the piece of work that we do during Ramadan and eat is we send gifts to non Muslim terrorists looking after Muslim children. And during what we've done 1000 of these gift boxes, you know, okay, what what's in it in a typical gift box Mashallah typical gift box would normally have at the start of Ramadan, it's,
we have a guide in there to care for Muslim children. So it gives the foster care and understanding about the needs of the child. We have information in there about Ramadan so that they understand about the principles of Ramadan why we wake up in the night why we do so who, why it's important for us to go to the mosque and why all of these things is a it's a time of heightened faith sensitivity. Mashallah, yeah? Yes, we provide the foster carer with a timetable for when the first opens and closes, we try to connect them with local mosques. We provide them with cuckoo
Mashallah the foster carer. So this shake is for us a way of reaching out to those non Muslim foster carers to show our appreciation, how much would this particular box cost just for our for for those who are on air, and they might not be able to go through the adoption process, but they've heard the rewards of being involved in the space. And they would want to try and can gain some rewards by at least donating to the work that you're doing, which is dedicated to orphans and those who are being fostered. What would a typical box cost? So we this year, inshallah we're looking at somewhere between the region of 15 to 20 pounds, so it's a small price to pay? Yeah. And the impact that it
can have? Yeah, of course. And some of the feedback that we've had shake is phenomenal. I mean, you know, there was one particular foster care I'm going to read this out for the benefit of the audience here. It says the little one I look after was a bit young to understand what was in the box, took a photo of them with all the contents and with the lanterns lit and we've put it into the child's life story book. The child has potentially been matched to be adopted by a Muslim family. So it was important that the little one was able to take part and have a record of taking part in Ramadan. I show the child was too young for the chocolates. So we gave them to another foster carer
who was looking
when they looked after the baby
during Ramadan, practice practice and Mashallah, Mashallah This is a Muslim person that's phenomenal, accepted this gift from us put it into practice and quite often shake we can be judgmental. What I find is that most of the foster carers who I come across a good hearted people just need that support
or whether it's due process we need to provide that support.
That's amazing. I mean, you mentioned the boxes and that reminds me of something that I was involved in, I think it was in 2012. And 13 was the father of Allah subhanho wa Taala. Purity by chance. I remember mercy mission was putting together a document for the carer for the non Muslim carer looking after
a child
that passed my desk for the, for the Islamic approvals, in terms of what was written, to making, you know, making sure that it sort of conformed to exactly what we find in the Quran and Sunnah and didn't go against what the majority of the scholars of the Ummah have agreed to. Are you familiar with that document? Do you have any efforts with regards to it in terms of educating the foster carer? Who is looking after a non Muslim child or even someone who's adopted as a foster carer who's looking after a Muslim child, or someone who has actually adopted a Muslim child? Are there any efforts towards these people are hungry? You know, it's interesting that you mentioned that. Because
if I'm able to share my screen, I'm just going to have a go Bismillah let me know if this works. All right. Let me put you on. Let me put you on Bismillah. Let me take myself
off.
Is is not visible shake.
All right, Shannon. We can't hear you.
Are you there?
We can't hear you shouting.
So here Can you hear me?
shouting? We can't hear you. We can't hear you. Yeah, we can't hear you shout him. We've actually lost him.
All right. So inshallah, when he comes back, we will pick that. We will pick that back up. You can you can hear me, right?
Yes, I can hear you now. Yeah. All right.
Sorry, we lost you early. I think we've lost about three minutes of your presentation.
And you logged out and you back in so I'm going to bring that presentation up again. Alright, and hopefully we don't lose you on the sound inshallah. Okay, yeah, we have you we have you so sorry, I've lost I've lost your screen share. Could you just share that again? Yeah, there we go. This window is this visible shape? Yes, that is visible. All right, let's make some okay. So basically, this is the guy that Shaikh was referring to. Mashallah. This will lead to so many people have contributed to the social workers professionals, foster carers,
many of our limau put time into this and this is a very detailed guide shake which
we have provided to foster carers to allow them to better understand the faith needs of children. So this is one of the items that goes into the gift box.
You can see here that it covers issues to do with Islam and Muslims the importance of family in Islam goes through the aspects of birth
rights and responsibilities. There's a case study here of sister Miriam
You know, one of our sisters who was put into care and and her experience
you know, so we've also had children who have been through the caste system contribute to this as well.
And as I said, shake as we were speaking earlier, we were talking about the you know, the the gift box that we send the side of Ramadan Mashallah, this is probably the most important part of the contents of that box that reaches those those foster carers. So this information about Ramadan and eat, obviously, yes. Okay. So, so you do send this book out this booklet out. g. Excellent, excellent, Marsha.
We've had amazing participation from our our, our viewer base online and some actually like Sahil Mashallah they've successfully gone through the process
you know the summer offering messages of support they offering answers to some other viewers who are asking questions. So I definitely see we have Mashallah some knowledgeable attendees with us Miller's panel, Allah bless everyone who's watching in right now. Everyone who has adopted successfully Melis pan with Allah bless you and protect you and reward you in full. And for everyone else who has supported the concept of fostering, even from afar, except from you as the title of today's episode states reviving a forgotten son, this is a this is a student that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he preached this proactively, just like
he showed him, I want to bring our brother. So here back in the questions that I can actually see here related to something that I had in my mind to ask you, brother, sorry, if you didn't mention that, you know, there's criteria, there's
process processes that you need to get through. But could you shed some light on the exact criteria that one would need to fulfill in order to adopt? and What proof do the authorities require? And just before that, if I can put this on you, because we've said many times here, fostering adoption, fostering adoption, in terms of the UK context? What's the difference between the two?
Okay, so yeah, the basic difference between the two, obviously, not from an from a UK perspective, I think I think Charlie mentioned earlier, you probably yourself, fostering is on a, on a temporary basis. So, you know, you're you've decided to, you know, foster and look after a child on a temporary basis, whether that be you know, it depends on
the kind of situation, it could be on a very short term basis, it could be a week, it could be, it could be a matter of months, or it could be on a more medium to long term basis, it could be a few months. Now, the importance of fostering is, and at any stage, you know, if, for example, a child a young boy easy to place, it will be fostered for a particular time, until of course decide, or the social worker decide, you know, what the next step is, whether the child goes back to parents, if it's safe to do so, or whether the child gets put up for adoption, and then, you know, the foster parents will look after a child until the child is found a suitable and adoptive parents to go to,
if, unfortunately, the fostering and kind of doesn't work, you know, because what, you know, it could be numerous reasons, and they aren't able to find a suitable foster parents or adoptive parents as well, then the sadly, then the children will end up into a kind of, you know, what we call a care home care system, which isn't ideal situation at all, and, and causes a enormous amount of disruption. And, you know, for the rest of their lives, actually, we're not just doing the part that they're in, they are even going forward. So the ideal situation is obviously, and it's for the children to at the very least, be fostered. And ideally, to get into a permanent situation, which is
adopted. So with adoption, and this is where the tricky part comes in, from an Islamic perspective as well. So according to UK adoption, once you've actually adopted a child from a from a legal perspective, they are your child, yeah. So, you know, they can take on your name and so on and so forth and effectively take on a lineage. So, as Muslims, you know, we just have to be careful in how we do that. So, yes, we we definitely want the adoption to happen so that it becomes permanent in terms of somebody Okay, on a permanent basis that can be you know, for example, taken away and so on. So at least you can give them you know, a permanent type of care throughout their lives. At the
same time, you make it clear that actually obviously, they are you are their adoptive parents IE in Islamic concept foster parents, but on a more long term, you know, permanent basis, and you make it clear obviously, you're not passing your lineage on to them, so therefore, you don't give them your name, you know, you either keep the existing name that they have, or if there's a requirement to change the name because sometimes for sake of safety and so on, yeah. surety for child it might be a requirement that you know, you don't keep looking keep their kind of family surname because they can be easily identified, in which case you have to give him a name another name, obviously, I mean, you
know, that had an issue because I asked you for advice. The first place remember was if you can't ever say don't give them your name be and if you can give them like a more generically, you have to change the name of
your brothers in religion. So no name that gives the false impression that they are your actual son.
Exactly. And this this happened at the time of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam. whereby people were given titles based on
the the tribal protection that they enjoyed, so they weren't from that tribe, but it
Sort of understood like they were from them because of the time that they spent with them.
But not in the it wasn't done in a way. I mean, it was clear to people that they carrying this name you to the affiliation, not that they undid the lineage of any particular person. I mean, even today, if you look at many families, they have family names, the surname, which is not true to the actual lineage. So a person would be the son of fallen son of so and so who is the son of so and so. But the surname has nothing to do with the actual lineage, you know. But nonetheless, please continue. Yeah, sure. So So in terms of just to kind of given the basic differences between adoption and fostering,
just just to highlight sorry to interject. So you said that sometimes any, they make you change. But what I've understood, and this is what we know, it's not compulsory to change, unless there's a security threat, there's a greater must be ha, in doing so. But they don't force they don't force the the person doing the adoption to give their name to the child. There's not a it's not a force requirement. Not at all. Exactly. Right. And even in the example that gave about the issue of security, that isn't a comment. So that is a kind of reoccurrence. So in the vast majority of you know, in currencies, you know, you are able to just keep leave that kind of that the family name as
it is, you know, there is no compulsion to change it at all. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, so terms of criteria, this is a kind of a,
quite a bit
of a cop out, because it's a bit more of a holistic answer, really. So there isn't a you know, the pate, the criteria itself is very basic, you know, you just need to be a UK resident, over 21 spare bedroom, need to, you know, show proof that, you know, you're financially able to look after a child and that you have a support network around you. And, but the reality is that when you go into specifics about it, it then you know, that they, you know, there's a lot of other things can come into play. So for example, your age could become an issue, if you're looking to, if you're quite old, you're looking to adopt a very young child, you know, that, that would definitely be an issue
for you, you know, but they, you know, and it's, it's so old me, you know, ultimately, the criteria of initial is quite basic. But once the process starts, it could be quite long, and quite detailed. And another kind of issue that I know when the kind of councils and agencies would have is, if you've been trying to have children, and then because of fertility issues, you have not been able to have your children. And that's the reason you're adopting some would require there to be a gap between the last time you went through some kind of fertility treatment, the time you went for adoption, some requirements are that actually you can't be going through any fertility treatment
right now. Whilst for adoption, as well, so So like I said, you know, is the kind of the criteria, so initially is quite basic, but then it can get a lot larger terms of proof that you asked me to do was, you know, what kind of proof and meet the nominal proof, I've never,
ever had to provide the level of proofs I had to for adoption than a pet actually before. And by the way, it's a good thing, because they've got it, you know, the social workers and the Council have to be sure that what you're saying is true and Hamdulillah, most of us are honest, and so on. But as we hear in the news all the time in the US very bad people out there, you know, so and so, you know, you've got to prove that you're a budget planner. So in terms of looking expenses, and your income coming in, you have to provide proof of your bank statements and your and your income certificates as well to prove you know what it is, they will do a detailed check around your house as well, you
know, to make sure and be safe until one you know, they'll do you'll go through a full medical checkup, you know, so they gave him his dream. I'm just gonna bring brother shadow him in. I think he wants to add to the discussion. He he was laughing, I think as I was because I think we know. So here, you now know who you are beyond doubt with all the proof that you had to Oh, yeah. That's
why you laughing,
saying that? Because I know, I'm conscious that the audience members and some of our guests from UK and across the world have a certain questions. And this was an important question. And so goodbye is filled us in on some of the important points, then just some of the points I wanted to add to because I have a full list here. Yeah. So we mentioned that you need to be over the age of 21 need to be a British citizen or have indefinite leave to remain here. Good health to look after a child need to be able to speak a good level of English
to be financially stable. And this is what Sergei was just going on to explain about the checks that are done
you if you're a couple you need to be in a stable relationship. So before you start make sure that you know you guys are on on the right page, you know, because
Mashallah the wife or the husband in a marriage goes off and thinks about this gets really excited. organize a meeting and the next thing you know, the other partner sat there thinking, Oh, I didn't know about this, or I hadn't. I didn't know it was gonna be like this. So prepare yourself as as possible.
You know, in the record checks, health checks in the UK, we have something called the DBS which does a DBS check. What is that? Um, it's it's part of the Yeah, it's like a criminal record check. You know, all right. Okay. Nothing committed any offenses against children or in touch, like in terms of financial stability? It's obviously relative, right. So what's a ballpark figure for people who are looking?
Thinking about? I don't have X amount in the bank, but what it says is not when off but not in debt. So that can't afford to look so you can afford to look after the child. Yeah, bank statements will be looked at. So what they what they're looking at shake is that you are financially stable in terms of how you manage your budgets as well. Right? No, some people are not very careless here. Right. So we had a case, like, he's got a mortgage, and he's got car finance. So his outgoings are sort of at par value with his income. So it's not like a surplus. I mean, you have to show that you are financially stable. So you know, yeah, they will check to see outgoings and incomings. And as long
as you know, you can show that actually earning enough money, you've saving enough money there to kind of take on the extra expenses of looking after a child, you've got a stable history as well, then then he's fine. But they will do a credit check on you as well, actually, you know, so it's like applying for finance or whatever. Yeah. But But you know, these are kind of indicators of, of how you would be and, you know, looking after a child, obviously, yep. So that is it, you know, it detailed lesson. Yeah. Just
I want to add to this, and this comes up quite often, right? Yeah. Martial Law, because we know, some of our our community are involved in, let's say, more than one one marriage, you know, or have had a previous marriage or a breakdown of marriage, whatever the history is, yeah. But if if either applicant has been married previously, proof of divorce will be needed. And also, when local authorities request a reference,
they may request reference of your previous partner. So thinking about fostering and adoption, and you have a breakdown in marriages, make sure you leave on good terms. You don't. By the way, it's not sometimes actually will. So they'll ask you for all your previous partners, if a detail them down. And they might, you know, request air references from all of them, or some of them. And not only that, but they'll actually interview them as well. And that's for sure. And actually, even without having previous partners, there was definitely need references from your employer from some family members from your friends as well. And and they will require that they will, they will need
to interview some of them as well. Yeah, so there'll be references or references, but then they'll, they'll pick and choose which ones you want to kind of interview as well, ultimately, yeah, yeah. We have a comment from YouTube.
About the assessment factors shed Is it the same for fostering and adoption or the different in your experience? I think that they're similar in nature, the difference here shake is that when it comes to fostering, you know, you're paid to become a foster carer. Yeah. So Mashallah, you know, the the beauty of fostering in this country is that you get all the rewards of doing good if intentions and actions are good. But then you also get the financial reward of being a foster carer here. Yeah. So I think your financial stability and what obviously signify was explaining from an adoption perspective, is making sure you got a little bit there to make sure you're okay. But there's some
very good comments being put into the chat by one of the by by piece, but I don't know if it's a he or she but phenomenal knowledge that they have.
So this is one of the messages that even if you have have had financial difficulties in the past, that doesn't preclude you as long as context shared, and current situation is very stable. So thank you very much Pittsburgh for that succinct summary. Yeah. And just to clarify that point we made earlier about previous partners shake, it says here, if you have parents and children with a partner in a previous relationship, then a reference from the ex partner will be caught. Yeah. So there'll be some conditions upon which they will contact them. And then finally, it says, references from local authority to friends who know you as a couple and as a family reference. Now, this is a really
important point shake that, you know, when we were talking earlier about people not having the best experience. Yeah, and some of the guests here mentioned independent fostering agencies, when it comes to fostering people have a choice, they can go to their local authority, or they can go to an independent fostering agency. Yeah. Mind that, whichever choice you make, if you decide to go with an independent fostering agency,
keep in check and balance your relationship with your local authority because checks will be done.
You know, this is something that people have to be conscious of is that,
you know, as you're saying earlier that it's very important that these checks and balances are put into place because we've got to avoid endangering the children. Yeah. I mean, Islam would support this is numbered support this, but what I get from you is be a productive citizen of your community, which is, which is also an Islamic mandate. Absolutely. Irrespective of whether you want to foster or adopt, you want to be a productive member of that society with the council. They know that that particular home, the bills are paid on time, they always they're not breaking the rules, they they always checking into make sure that they're not staring off what is, you know, what is the SETT
Framework for that society have always encouraged the Muslim oma to do this. There's terrain here who's put up a message. And seeing anyone who is planning to foster or adopt, it might be a good idea to reading around attachment and Child Development alongside getting some voluntary work within the nursery. typesetting. Thank you very much for that.
So what did you do? Did you go independent?
I went through No. So I think with with fostering there sometimes are can advantages and going through kind of independent agencies. But I think for adoption, probably the kind of simplest and easiest route generally is just to go by the council's which is what I did as well. Well, what are the what are the limitations or the limitations? In what sense? If you go by the Council as opposed to an independent cell? What are the what's what's the, what's the cons of going counsel? Okay, well, only, again, from my limited experience, my understanding is that actually, the only con is going through a kind of adoption agency, because when it comes down to family finding, when they
when they actually try to find a child for you, that kind of the council is a one day has access to the kind of all the children generated with a child gets taken into care if the council were involved in him. Yeah. And so when you go into, so, so yeah, if you want to, you know, shorten the time it takes to be matched to a child and to get adopted child, it's better to go through the council, whereas the agent you don't know the mission can explain, but how when when the children are then allocated to agencies to place production, but either way, the first, you know, allocation is by the Council. That's my understanding of it. Yeah. The thing, one thing to point out you should
make is that the purpose of this discussion this evening, Mashallah we're really grateful that you've organized this for us is to generally build confidence in the Muslim community, that look, challenging process, people have lots of questions, and we as an organization are here to support you. And we don't want anybody to be put off by the challenges in the process here.
We do have a number of upcoming webinars. So our next webinar is going to be this Friday evening, 8pm. And if you can share with the listeners, on the chat, maybe shake, I'm not sure how we will share this information.
But we go ahead with it. We have the upcoming webinar taking place in Sharla, on Friday evening at 8pm. And our listeners can register for this. And then following this webinar, we have another webinar, which is taking place for
fostering in another two weeks. Now, as you can imagine, shake there's a lot of similarities between fostering and adoption, but also some significant differences. And that's why we've organized these two separate sessions. So just for the benefit of the listeners, the up and coming sessions for adoption, is 22nd of January at 8pm.
And if you need our website, my foster family calm, you can capture those details and register. That's this Friday. I think Sharla Yeah, yeah. And session, we're going to go into a lot of detail because we're gonna have on there a social worker, and and people who are actually like brothers have gone through the adoption process, we'll be able to go into much more detail for the listeners
every four weeks, so 26 of fifth and 26th of March, we've got another webinar for people who are interested in adoption. Yeah. Excellent, excellent. We call this adoption Friday shake. So every two weeks we have these events, then for the listeners who are interested in fostering
fostering webinars will be taking place in a similar cycle, but basically two weeks apart inshallah. Yeah, okay. Okay. That's excellent. Can I just summarize for them then brother shot him? Yeah. So you have one this Friday, this coming Friday at 8pm. UK time.
That's the 22nd of february of January. And then next month on on what's what do you say the 23rd of February or sorry, the 26th of February.
Is that right? Yeah. So basically the the adoption webinar is on the 22nd of January. Yes.
And the next fostering webinar is on the fifth of February inshallah, okay, the fifth, the fifth. And so it's not it's not too it's not, it's not a full week. It's not a four week break through about two weeks after. Yeah, crisis. Oh, so to our listeners, please take note of this. And please do register. There'll be great value shared and as brother shared him said, that you are bringing in an actual caseworker. So please visit their website, my foster family.com. My foster family.com. For details regarding
the upcoming webinar with my foster family, which is at 8pm. UK time, this Friday between a toddler I shot him I have one for you. And this has been asked as well. Earlier, it was said that, you know, it's not a it's not a sort of a normal process where religion and these stats are recorded, obviously, for a Muslim.
You are looking or by default, a Muslim and these are Muslims I've spoken to by default, they are looking to
acquire someone who's who's born into a Muslim household. Okay. Now, obviously, my response to the community and you've heard me speak about this in lectures in the UK regarding this topic is the all upon the fitrah before they reach the age of puberty, right. They all believers in Allah subhanho wa Taala, they upon the fitrah, Allah subhanho wa Taala will judge them upon the fitrah. And also, it's about saving Amen. This is a an important reality of the process. So being pedantic on the child must have come from Muslim family, from an Islamic perspective is not a it's not, you know, Islam is not putting this, this burden on you. But let's say that, you know, somebody really prefers this,
how would they go about it? do they go? Meaning? Would they be excluded from the process or frowned upon if they went into the council and highlighted this? And if not, then if there's no actual data, you know, how do you get around the sensitivities? Okay, so, you know, Bismillahirrahmanirrahim you know, as you said, shake, the most important thing about this project is preservation of faith and identity. Yeah.
However, you know, there's the hotties shake, and especially if you quoted you know, the these we discussed yesterday, yeah, of the one where the Prophet sallallahu Sallam
raises his two fingers. And he says, the one who looks after an orphan will be together with me like this in January. Yeah.
And the, the context of this, this is very powerful, because we we have an attachment to what to do this. But
as Shaykh Osman, from the UK explained that when the prophet SAW Selim,
you know, stated this at least he didn't say, a Muslim orphan, an orphan? Yeah. And be any child essentially. Okay. So, when we first launched this project, we were very keen to make sure that all Muslim children are placed in Muslim households, because that is the best place for them. And therefore, the message we were putting out was, we were encouraging Muslim people to come forward to look after Muslim children. But you know, over time shake you learn from your experience, what we've realized is that, you know, these 80,000 children that are in care in the UK,
then the responsibility of all society, no, sorry, we shouldn't take an approach that says, The Muslim children or for the Muslim community and the Christian children, no, we should take an overall responsibility to try to look after all children. And when people come forward, and they are flexible in the views and opinions about the type of children that they are willing to look after, that they navigate through the process much more smoother. Nevertheless, that's not to say that somebody who wants to adopt a Muslim child shouldn't express that. If somebody wants to foster a Muslim child shouldn't express that somebody wants to foster a child of a certain age. This is all
part of the discussion that you have with the social worker and your assessment. But what we say is don't put up barriers don't come across like I am not willing to look after this other child. Now, I understand from lots and lots of hundreds of conversations shakier. More often than not, people from within our Muslim community will have this view because they feel that they are best placed to spot a Muslim child. And that child would be welcome in their home and fitting right. So this is understandable. And this is also a responsibility on the social workers on the system and the government and the local authorities to ensure that the identity of that child that
Faith, their culture, their heritage, their food, the way they dress, the way they engage, all of these things are preserved. And a child that is placed within a family that matches those identity characteristics will probably have a greater chance of having a successful placement and being stable. Because we time against make, we've heard from children who are now adults who have been through care, who were placed away from their faith, or were based in an environment where their faith wasn't supported, that they feel like they've lost their identity. Like they don't belong. So sorry, it's not a short, simple answer, in short, is be open minded if
you can have your preferences, but don't make your preferences sound like demands. Jimmy, Jimmy, a beautiful, beautiful Celine Dion add to that. None agree and everything we showed him, I said, I mean, this, but in terms of preferences, it's not just about religion, you know, there's a, yeah, you have an option to talk about ethnicity, you know, basically, even, you know, disability in color, what kind of potential issues are you willing to take on from a physical perspective, from a mental perspective and so on as well. And like Charlie was saying, the more open you are, the easier it is to get nothing. One of the
frustrations that social workers I've worked with, have told me from dealing with the within the Muslim community, is that, and that they are generally listed, you know, again, from, you know, a couple of social workers, I spoke to those in the generally the, the potential adopters, if they speak to Muslim ones are very, very specific about what they want. So if they're Pakistani, they'll say, I want only a Pakistani child, you know, never been variazioni opened early, but well, and how would you want him I want to be one year old, like, you know, sorry, but you know, I mean, it's not like the speaking of
it. So why does it matter? And actually, one of the Commonwealth actually, is that the children are of mixed heritage, they might be half white, for example, are Pakistani or whatnot. And again, there is a bit of a taboo, within the community in adopting children of mixed heritage. Now, you know, I don't wanna go to too much of personal data, but the child I adopted on delaila, was of a mixed heritage. And my wife is Pakistani, you know, and there was no issue in doing that, because those children actually be harder and harder to kind of please. 100 I didn't actually, and I must say that again, like, like, isunshare, he's like, I didn't have to wait long to be placed with
my shalina. And we were lucky, in a sense, you know, again, you know, it's not luck, you've got to follow that with the child that we adopted, you know, was very young, you know, it's very kind of young, and, you know, under a year old, and, and we only had to wait probably six months after being approved. You know, there's so many stories, and eventually people I know, they've been waiting for years to be matched. And that's because, obviously, one got that, you know, it is what it is. But secondly, it's also because of the extremely specific criteria that they will have, you know, I didn't have a requirement that child at age has to be on any religion, because like you said, the
fifth row is Islam. And it's about you know, I will bring them up afterwards. Yeah. And it makes sense that if you cast the net wider, you get a larger pool of potential children that you could adopt, the moment you restrict and constrict the pool, then you know, the numbers are getting less here we have a comment from
from our online platforms we broadcasting on Facebook and on YouTube, and on Twitter as well. hamdulillah Mohammed says yes, Sunbeam fostering agencies among one to promote Muslim families to become foster carers. I'm not too sure if you guys are familiar with this, but this question has been up on the screen about agencies promoting Muslim families and should we work with them? Yeah. Okay. What what I what I just said a few points. I want to clarify for the audience here that we are not a fostering agency or an adoption agency. And and nor are we the local authority, you know, we are an independent organization that is a support network Yeah. Just as you were describing about
casting the net wide to try catch as many potential children we are also customer net wide to try to contact as many people in the Muslim community because we haven't resolved to come in approved All right, show me what I would like to say to the listeners because Mashallah there is a the names on here Shazia, absorb, and obviously peace bird Mashallah I would love for them to contact us because we have created an advisory group where Mashallah we have a number of shakes, we have the gear and many other adopters, we have foster carers, we have social workers, and what we are doing is developing our support network so that when people need that one to one help with individual issues,
we can provide that to them. The purpose for our organization is just to help navigate
through the process, and we can connect you with some beam. We can connect you with foster care associates, we can connect you with Bradford Council. We can connect you with any organization in the UK that is doing fostering adoption. dependent upon your circumstances. shakier? Yeah, really important. You know, you're asking the question, should you go to local authority or independent fostering agency? Yeah. hamdulillah we're in a position to advise you based on your circumstances what you're best to do. Yeah. Yeah. So if you need to have young children, then you must go with the local authority. Yeah. If you're open minded, and you're ready to look after all the children, then
it's flexible. You can go with the independent posturing agency. Yeah. So one request is that any of the listeners, please make contact. Our website is my foster family.com. My personal email address is shot him dot Hussein at my foster family.com. I would absolutely love to listen to and hear from anybody who has a contribution to make to the subject. And shake. There's one important thing that you have to help clarify for us. probably have to do a whole session on the metronome issue. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean, we we did I did get questions about this when we announced the program. We haven't got too many today. I am conscious of time, and I will just touch on it before we end up but
very quickly, Darien has asked you a question. Oh, as asked has requested you, Grover, for something. Could you help him with this request?
In terms of the adoption allowance?
recommended without either I didn't think as an adopter I've not been given any allowances. Maybe he means the foster care allowance. Yeah.
So foster care allowance can range anywhere from 200 to 700 pound per week, per child. Yeah, yeah. So Mashallah, you know, we were discussing this yesterday shake that for those who got used to working from home due to the COVID situation. This can be a real blessing, you know that you can stay at home and look after your own children and family and also support a child and a humbler be paid for it. Yeah. And adoption, you don't get paid a weekly allowance. However, there is financial support if you're looking after a child with special needs. Right. Okay. So there is okay. This is if you are if you adopt and the child needs. Yeah, okay. Okay, Jimmy, Jimmy.
There's so many questions. Shazia. Unfortunately, I haven't understood your question in completion, but she has a you can get in touch with me.
inshallah, I will put my details up for you with the letter Allah
on screen. So if you just visit the website, Sajid amo.com, they will be an option for you to email if you could email me more details inshallah, I will get back to you with an answer, inshallah. But the last thing I will touch on is the many questions that has been
shared.
Not not today, per se, I haven't seen too many today. But when we did put the when we did put the the announcement out that we were going to have this particular program. Just before I get into it, let me try and get shared this email up, sorry. So you guys can contact him as well. There you go. showed him was saying that my foster family calm so you can also contact him with
networking,
requests and also any questions that you have later Allah, and he can help via that email address, inshallah. And also don't forget the my foster family website as well please visit it there. There's a lot there to benefit you.
As well as details about the upcoming webinar that was announced earlier, which will be this Friday at 8pm. At night Allah now brothers and sisters in Islam with regards to the maharam issue, creating the foster relationship between the parents and the children that have been adopted.
Questions about if the feeding is done before two years of age, after two years of age, if the feeding is done using hormones, for example, for a female who hasn't been pregnant previously and doesn't currently have breast milk to foster feed a child does this create relationship? If so, is it just with the mother or does it move to the Father and so on and so forth.
Like shaddam said, this needs a dedicated, dedicated seminar, a dedicated webinar and we can go through these in detail. However, for today, brothers and sisters in Islam, I just want to highlight that when we
look at these things, it's important that we differentiate between
Factors that would normally be thought about if we were living under a Muslim Caliphate or Muslim country, and the system is there to, you know, to protect the system. Obviously they are it's amazing systems that we've had Mashallah, even
from Islamic standards, if we look at some of the Western ideals that we've heard today, credit where credit is due. But if you were living in a Muslim country, and Muslim children had Muslim carers you weren't fearing for their loss of identity growing up, you weren't fearing for the loss of a man
growing up, you know, bringing these questions to the forefront would be something
it's always acceptable. But it would be something that nobody would say, is you going against what constitutes priority when we are in the current situation? Right, whereby what is at stake, irrespective of the relationship, the Muharram, the breastfeeding, the foster relationship creation, and so on, and so forth.
You know, the ins and outs of it, when we when we discussing fostering in a situation whereby most likely a Muslim child will be killed by a non Muslim family, and that could lead to them losing their identity, then losing their faith, this reality has to be put at the forefront. As for the rest of the Sharia is a living tradition. It is a working tradition, it has the capacity to deal with all the micro aspects, right, which constitute the questions that we just highlight. These are micro aspects, right? The macro aspect is protecting them from protecting the intellectual ability protecting the physical ability, protecting their spiritual ability, protecting their their faith,
their heart, their mind, protecting the identity, this is a macro value that is at the forefront, right? the ins and outs of that these are things that the Sharia as a working tradition can deal with the Sharia will always have solutions until the day of the of PM, how do we get those solutions, we get those solutions at the right time from the scholarly fraternity and I've been speaking to share them
here in terms of his efforts, and the importance of bringing together scholarly fraternity,
you know, an end to end kind of scholarship application to the foster care system where people maybe there's a number you can call it and people can stay take cases and disqualified people who are experienced with with this arena, and are knowledgeable and responsible, knowledgeable and responsible because this is two important things, *ging not just knowledgeable but knowledgeable and responsible that can give the fatwa to the specific case at hand. This is not something that we should just, you know, the Sharia doesn't encourage that micro matters, are broadcasted on an open broadcast, which doesn't have jurisdiction, because micrometers could be open to abuse. So as the
Sharia does have a solution, and we must believe that the Sharia has a system in how these solutions are shared. But what we can talk about on a macro broadcast on a sorry, on a live broadcast with no jurisdiction, and especially since this is the default setting of the Sharia, and we have a real reality at hand as brother shared him. And others have highlighted in the chat that there is an identity issue here that we need to step in. And assist with, the focus should be brothers and sisters in Islam. In getting over the line, I know sometimes people say, you know in life, it's all about, you know, we shouldn't say cross the bridge when you get there. That should be a default. But
sometimes it is about crossing the bridge when you get there because there's bigger fish to fry at the moment. Right? There's bigger fish to fry in terms of getting your foot through the door, getting the approvals done, and then get having the opportunity at hand when the opportunity is at hand. We can cross that bridge. Why? Because we know the Sharia most definitely will have solutions for us at that juncture. It's not a case where by will the Sherry I have it, won't they Sherry, I have it. So I need to know now before I step in No, it's about knowing that they surely are will have the solutions in terms of the mme issues and all these other finite micro answers that you
require. So don't let this be a hindrance. Okay, don't let this be a hindrance. But for those who want to know about it, you know, just
for the sake of general knowledge, then indeed engage your local scholarship you can engage Shadi, he has access to scholarship you can engage myself and these ideas can be shared, but understand that also from the norms of the Sharia, is that it does apply specific answers to live situations.
The Sharia doesn't want us to waste time, waste time, you know, sharing hypotheses and you know, a person is saying what if, what if, what if, this What if doesn't need to be answered if the situation is not real at hand because that situation might never ever arise? Anyway, in terms of use specifically, so brothers and sisters in Islam, like brothers shotguns,
At the end, yes, this procedure and the procedure is there for the benefit of all parties. That should not push us away the Sharia also has procedure in terms of what constitutes Mahamaya. What doesn't constitute marami? what creates the Maharaja relationship? What doesn't create the Mahara relationship? The Sharia constitutes a child to be an orphan until the age of puberty, what happens thereafter, and so on and so forth. We shouldn't give these issues
a bigger size of importance than it requires, at the moment that we let's give importance to what truly requires importance, and that is as getting into the space. And being a means for the oma one of the questions that was asked is, you know, aside of what I shared at the beginning of the lecture,
regarding the importance of of fostering in Islam, I highlighted I scribbled down a few notes to share as we were having the chat aside of what I shared earlier, in terms of the guidance of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam, and the benefits of what fostering brings to us and our salvation in our journey to our hereafter, from the benefits brothers and sisters in Islam. It's as being true to the legacy of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam, which you and I collectively carry on our shoulders. we collectively carry this legacy, there's no profit to come after Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, the legacy of prophethood was taken off of his shoulders and not
transferred to another man, which was the norm before him. It went from the shoulders of one man to the shoulders of another man and to him after him. It was taken off his shoulders and transferred collectively to the shoulders of an entire nation. That nation is the home of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, those who accept Allah as one, and those who accept Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam as the final messenger. If we step out from doing our bit, in carrying this legacy, we only making this legacy heavier upon those who have opted in, we have to understand this brothers and sisters in Islam, and never ever think that you know what, this is not my problem. My home is safe.
Your home may be safe now. But we are interdependent community. We are interdependent human beings by design. We are communal human beings, right? Today, somebody else's problem might not be your problem. But tomorrow, they will get married, they will have children, those children will have children, those children will probably be friends with your grandchildren. And they might be a means of your grandchildren going astray because of your lack of action today. Right? So we shouldn't be short sighted we should think long term and trust what the legacy of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam entails by default. Being a Muslim, we need to understand that we were sent to give not to
take we were sent as a solution, not as a problem. And as I said earlier, brothers and sisters in Islam, you know, orphans, they're not weak. They the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam our leader and master was an orphan. They provide for us opportunities and this is how a Muslim sees life. Life will always give us days that are for us days that are against us will always, you know, push us into comfort. But Allah subhanho wa Taala Allah is telling us through the teachings of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, Allah in the Silla de la jolla indeed the merchandise of Allah subhanho wa Taala is expensive, and you want the greater merchandise of Allah. It doesn't come from being
comfortable. It comes from sometimes putting yourself through a little bit of discomfort, trusting the system of Allah subhanho wa Taala and knowing that you will recalibrate, you will recalibrate and things will become far more normal to you than you perceive them right now. Why would you want to do that? Remember, we don't look at life as a set of obstacles. We look at life as a set of opportunities. That is how it is that is what La ilaha illAllah does for us. It gives us an opportunity to build gender. We are gender builders, and so we have to see that brothers and sisters in Islam. Another benefit is remember, and this is in light of the fact that we are agenda builders.
The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said men can if you're only he kind of love if you're only whoever is in the systems of his brother, Allah will be in his assistance. This orphan child is your brother
is your brother. And remember, before they reach the age of puberty, they will be judged to be believers. They will enter gender whoever is in assistance of his or her brother Allah will be in their assistance and how many we all want Allah subhanahu Ella's assistance upon us, especially in the years Pamela, we've lost so many people, we've seen Healthy People become so sick. And as I said earlier, it's been dubbed as the year that the distance between us and death is a simple handshake. We need to be stepping in and doing things that matter for our hereafter before it's too late. You know, we've you know, we've heard the statement before death could be around the corner. I mean,
what has 2020 done to really bring new meaning to that particular statement. Also brothers and sisters in Islam.
And this, you know, follows on in terms of what we have what we have shed, Allah subhanho wa Taala says, I mean, who knows? Well, maybe not always
Above the believing males in the believing females, they are sisters to one another. We assist each other in inviting each other towards good. We are advocates collectively against evil, we believe in Allah subhanho wa Taala. And all this together constitutes
the idea of fostering and, and kafala to listen tullia team as the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam highlighted to us, this brings this reality to the forefront, right? It brings this reality to the forefront. So it's not something that we need to be overly convinced about brothers and sisters in Islam. It's part of our DNA. When we said La ilaha illAllah, Muhammad Rasul Allah, it's really part and parcel of us, I hope I've shared enough to try and bring about,
you know, an internal desire to get involved. And as I said earlier, if you can't go through the physical process, be there with da be there with financial support, be there with physical support, you are attending this webinar to share knowledge with other people. So Pamela, this is a form of support. This is each and every one of us playing our part, in being part of the solution. And you know what brothers and sisters in Islam in Allah, Allah, Allah,
Allah will never, ever let the good deeds of people get lost, you might see it as something small, but to analyze with Allah subhanho wa Taala. And just the other day in a webinar on end with the story
Subhana Allah, one of
someone Someone wrote a story on Facebook, a true story where he was at a hospital, and he started chatting to the person in front of him and asked him, what's your situation and this person said, that I just had an operation one day, I was looking in the mirror and I saw a lump on my neck. And I went in to get it checked, and it was cancerous. And they needed to remove it. But it was, it was a simple procedure wasn't some major procedure. It was caught early on. And,
you know, I'm here as part of the follow up. So the share whoever was handling this particular conversation said, Tell me about you know, your story, what happened, this is a very interesting thing happened when I was on the, you know, in the operating theatre, on the operation bed. So panela they gave me the anesthetic. And all of a sudden, I physically felt myself flying at a speed beyond my imagination. Literally, that this wasn't anesthetic, I was literally flying. And suddenly, I was stopped with a jolt and pushed back towards the dunya. So I left the dunya and I was stopped with a halt and sent back.
So he says, I saw this, I when I woke up, it was something that I you know, that was real with me. And I went the next day for to see the surgeon because normally they leave you an anaesthetic and they leave and they meet you the next day, right? And the surgeon tells me, what did you see last night? What did you see what happened? Tell me what happened to you during the operation.
So he you know, he said, he said nothing but this happened. So the surgeon said, Tell me one thing you've done in your life that please the loss of mannahatta
obviously, he was not in the mood of this discussion. He says listen, just tell me how to my operation go and let's get on with it. And he there's so many things where Lahore Ireland, Allah knows best. Tell me what what you know what happened with me yesterday? How did it go? Are we good? Are we in the clear? How's it looking? So, the surgeon said, Look, I'm not trying to upset you. But I just want to let you know that yesterday, normal procedure, it shouldn't have had,
you know,
the, you know, the,
you know, it shouldn't have gone through what we saw, right? But something strange happens. So the guy said What happened? He goes, you're on the verge of death, you are on the verge of death, we treated you as per procedure, and suddenly your red blood cell count went to zero, suddenly, no explanation, no loss of blood, any nothing, nothing that needs to be you know, nothing considered a lot. Your red blood council went to zero, and we lost you. And I told the nest bring me hemoglobin.
Perhaps I will inject it in him and Allah will bring life to Him. He says we injected a little bit of hemoglobin Subhana Allah and all of a sudden your hemoglobin levels rise beyond our expectation.
And you are back before the loss of Hannah who Allah Allah brought you back.
So obviously this guy was stunted because he No, he understood. I felt like I was flying and I was pushed back and he went home and he was thinking about it. You know, what could it be and suddenly it hit him. And he said it really broke him down. Many years ago when he was a student in the university.
A call was made urgently for someone to come donate blood of a particular
The type and he was in class. Nobody got up but he got up he said, I'll go. And his teacher said to him, I'll give you extra marks for you going. And he said to the teacher, I am going leverage Hill. I'm going for the sake of Allah subhanho wa Taala. Please don't give me extra marks. I don't want any thanks so, or reward here. I'm doing this for the sake of Allah. He says, I walked to the principal's office, I found the principal with an old man who was stressed. They just were involved in an accident. The daughter was at the University Hospital and they needed blood. So the old man took him they rushed to the hospital. He gave blood. And when he walked out, the old man in tears
said, My dear son, that was my daughter we're not from here we have no family we're involved in this accident and how much can I pay you allow me to pay you something for your kindness? And he said uncle? No, this is this is nothing I've done this with the sake of Allah has given blood is nothing
it's nothing this Don't worry about it. And here's my number. Here's my number. If you need more, quote me, I'll come back.
So hon Allah He said, The old man said to me, and I never gave importance to his words, then I remember it today. He said to me, my dear son,
a loss of Hannah who attacks taala will give you back this blood and more.
Whatever you do, for Allah will remain. So hon Allah and he feels that it was that giving of blood then that was a means for him. So many years later, decades later, Spanner Bella. So I leave this with my brothers and sisters in Islam don't say raising my hands and making dua for the orphans of the ummah. Make that make it, make it right to be put. Now you've been here, share the video, share some Hadith related to the topic, do your bit and be part of the solution. And have is Laos and be sincere. And remember that whatever you do with Allah subhanho wa Taala will remain, it will remain. And when it's with Allah, it's big. It's not severe. It's Kabir. As we mentioned about our brothers,
so here, here today martial law, he carries an intern in small but Mashallah he you know, he's done a lot May Allah reward him and keep him steadfast I mean, and brother, Shadi millbury, would you and keep you steadfast as well. I personally
am a supporter of all your efforts, albeit from afar. But please know that some way
at some time there's a servant from the servants of Allah subhanho wa Taala making dough and for all your success
Any closing words that you want to share with our listeners brother showed him an all humble lie, it's been a fascinating seminar really enjoyed it. And it's wonderful to see the the comments in the chat from the listeners. And I think it's
it's one of those things shake where we can all play a little part, you know, be it the sharing of that message, be encouraging the brother or sister,
you know, be that we actually step up and take that, that step forward. And I think for those inshallah who want to take that step Bismillah we're here to support you, that's why we exist, that's the only purpose of my foster family. And for those of you who are not going to take that step for whatever reason, then do what you can to support those who are going to take that step, encourage them, motivate them support them and if you know of a family in your area that's fostering or adopting, particularly if you have a non Muslim family that's fostering then get in touch with us whether you wish to donate towards that gift box or you want us to send it
you know, that reward will be with with you and with Allah, you know, and there's a mention here of Canada and Australia and other countries shake, inshallah, we want to expand this program and reach our communities wherever we are living and we are a minority, we need to raise awareness about this across the world inshallah. We know that be Australia, South Africa,
wherever print, inshallah, we want to take this project there to inshallah. Shama.
Oh, sorry, sorry, Shaggy, you broke up a little bit. Were you saying something? I'm just saying to the listeners, please make dua for the success of the project. And like keep us humble and keep us steadfast. I mean, I mean, your
mantra to feel sorry for any closing comments? No, just to say no. And take advantage of my foster family to be fair. And going back to the original question of how difficult it was for me. Like I said, I was blessed that he wasn't that difficult because I had a lot of support from, you know, and from from people that already knew who were adopting, who were re adopted and also for my foster family, and the level of support that is available now for Muslim adopters is a lot more that was available, you know, when I went through and that the support is available via my foster family and other organizations similar to it, so take advantage of it and contact them and inshallah
You know a lot of make easy for you you know but you have to end as the heat as you know better than everybody you know you make the bar but yet it tie a camel and also makes worse so you know the you know getting involved my foster family you know asking for the help and and taking the Help is probably the equivalent of tying your camel you know ultimately account in where you are ultimately whatever happens is only happening from there.
But you have to make an effort and be proactive and do something for yourself as well. Alive It feels like every week. Alright everyone that that is that's it for us. It's been phenomenal. So Pamela the time went by, I didn't realize that we almost pending to one hour 45 minutes but that's how, you know I didn't feel it. I'll be honest, I'm sure our listeners feel the same. May Allah subhanho wa Taala bless us and except from us make our gathering one which is forgiving upon our departure and make our gathering one that he is a good word and follows it. May Allah forgive our past, inspire our futures. I love you And for the sake of Allah everyone, until next time, salaam
Allah Allah come on over to who will bye