Channel: Riad Ouarzazi
I'm not as tall as the brother. So make this
we let him show it and then we say yeah Marina
de la la mobula oh my god will follow her de la Chateau La ilaha illallah wa Ala Wai shadow, Mohammed Abdul Sophia como la la jolla come over come over here, como
como se a minion gentleman Zilla was a robot, the other lady Gemma and she had a debate in Nevada Allah.
Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah.
There's a men
who divorced five wives in one minute.
Not for five.
Do you know how he did that?
How can you divorce five wives in one minute?
I'll tell you in Sharla but not now.
I tell you towards the end of this topic of this talk
as he heard the ingredients of a successful
marriage, actually I call it ocean of love. Mahalo.
This is the My name that I chose. The title that I chose for this topic. But
the ocean of love we tend to feel shy talking about love.
Like the brother said, you know love maybe mentor women which is totally wrong.
No Kramer satola
explains it beautifully.
Given this description of love.
And he said there are two types of love love with shallow love and love. Unfortunately, when we hear about love, we tend to think of peso Elena
Abla Romeo Juliet, right? Thinking of love, or maybe those inappropriate love that gets built. When people will know they try to chat on MSN. And then they develop this kind of love and they come to your chef help. I need to get married now because there's love involved. But my parents are against this marriage. So chef, is there any federal law?
And I'm telling you, this is serious. Is there any federal law whereby I can marry the one that I love through MSN? The one that I love
without the consent of the parents?
And they're asking me this question. So you want me to perform this nica without the approval of the parents? Yes. Is there any federal
In your opinion, Imam Abu hanifa can be hanafy or Shafilea can be shuffled or somebody can just give me a fatwa. This is the type of haram love that we're talking about. Today we're going to talk about the Hara love have been hella
woman, he and her father come in and physical address,
the disco era which anabaena commodity and the most he signs
that he has put amongst you love and mercy
that you may dwell in tranquility.
That you may dwell in tranquility and then he says,
Put amongst you love and and mercy. He said love first and mercy.
The meaning of Nevada here is love.
It is the ingredient that is needed for the successful marriage.
Very soon inshallah to Allah shortly. I'll make you with your aprons and I will get take you to a kitchen
called the kitchen of love.
To talk about these ingredients on how to improve or develop this love between husbands and wives between spouses.
I'm going to give you 20 points.
I don't expect you all to remember these points. If you have if you have if you can take notes of handle if you cannot then the brothers are recording this.
As a matter of fact these points were actually hamdulillah
uploaded on the on several websites and also on some magazines.
let's try to talk about this help and I'm only going to restricted between husbands and wives, between spouses.
How can we increase this love?
And don't tell me that I've been in? I'm 60 years old fellas, I'm too old for that.
Are you better than the prophet Isaiah?
When he used to pumper his wife's at a SATA center,
so don't tell me I'm 56 of them 60 Ocala system, the buses gone.
And I'll maybe talk to my daughter or my son later, I'm talking to you too.
How can we increase this love?
Here goes, number one,
the shift has mentioned this point and this is extremely important
in the importance of this relationship between spouses,
it is extremely important.
Because my brothers and sisters, let me share this with you personally, I perceive love or I perceive marriage as a ship.
sailing in the midst of the ocean,
whereby the captain is the man the husband, sailing the ship.
And the wife,
she is the commander in chief.
guiding the captain sailed that ship, because the captain himself cannot say that ship.
The ship is called marriage.
The ocean is called dhania world. So this ship goes through this ocean, that sometimes this ocean is rough. Sometimes it's Smurfs, likewise dunya world sometimes you go through hardship, sometimes it is beautiful.
That's how I personally perceive it.
So for the successful marriage, we need the place has been underpriced wife to both come together to save the ship of marriage.
like the Buddha said exchanging gifts
as the Prophet alayhi salatu salam says in the Hadith reported by Abu Hassan
exchange gifts amongst each other It will develop love which will trigger that love amongst you
to have to have boo and heavier
sisters is heavier these gifts persons
can be a form of maybe a smile or a beautiful word which we're going to talk about because what's worth this piece of go that you went to but your wife and then in return or she gets from you is cursing swearing she does not need that piece of go she does not need that flower
by the way, but by the end of Sharma the the the purpose here is not to make any lineup by the flower shops after the end of this lecture. Although inshallah tada we wished that to happen and we hope for that to happen and as a matter of fact we get a lot of calls from some sisters senior chef when it another ocean of love lecture because in our handler In the beginning we started getting some nice treatments and some nice flowers and gifts and whatnot and after some time have us so we need another those of ocean of love
exchanging gifts amongst each other
with each increase that love to have those to happen
it could be as simple as far as I said, or it could be Be creative if you see something nice
and then you buy to your wife let's say and then you say Masha Allah when I saw it in that any the mannequin wouldn't think it didn't look so nice but now that you weren't in it.
You be creative. You use your love you watch these Egyptian they have the best Mashallah Hindi, isn't it?
To try to mimic
something like that? I thought she put it she put in a flourish is he say Masato does not mean No, no, no does not really have a smell but when you pull it out,
you see the thing here.
This is love exchanging gifts amongst each other will trigger that love that's number one. Number two, extremely important to allocate time to sit together
have time spend some time together you and your wife this one you just you and your wife to talk about issues problems whatnot, it you know just have to start conversing with your wife and with your husband is extremely important.
Number three, love our job.
We will show
the look of love.
I see some of you smiling. I don't want you to dream here.
I'll keep dragging you.
Because when you look at your wife, you should, you should understand what she will not her needs. And the fact that she looks at you, she should also understand what you need. Just through the look.
There's a hadith that actually was reported by as soon as narrated by Abu Zubaydah, but this had, it's just for the amount of random that this head it was classified as weak.
But we'll mention it here that the Prophet alayhi salatu salam says in the rosary is another one of those he knows.
When a man a husband looks at his wife, Allah will look at them with a look of love with a look of mercy. The look of mercy.
It will be so beautiful if this if this looks are coupled with touches
with hugs, hug
a wish list on mosquito net. So what Oh, hey, baby, Hey, no, can't do that. We're not
experts, they say
that. For the women. This is not me.
Women to feel safe and secure. They have to be touched 30 times a day.
This is what they've said. I don't know how they make up this 30 times I could argue with that. Because maybe my case with this is more than 30 so what is the only way 30 but for the women or women to feel secure, come here. Like that. For the woman to feel secure. She has to be touched 30 times a day. And what I did was I went to my wife and I said Okay, here we go 1234 514 she says no, that's not how it works.
A little touchy little hug their hakodesh for them to feel secure. Hugs How do you feel when somebody comes in give you a really hard I don't want you to give me the cheapest thing Yeah, like the basketball players.
That's not the kind of hug I'm talking about.
Because sometimes they come in they give you that hug and it's your problem you're the one who's sitting there come this is the hug This is the way they hug
what kind of hug is this?
Well I just took a shower this morning Yeah, there's nothing wrong and if you can give me a really good sound sound sound heart I want to feed you
that's the kind of heart that your wife needs from you.
now the bottle should be what yours Yeah.
Not too good with this
Can I because I only have 15 more minutes I guess in this
warm greetings number four
Warm greetings especially when you come home.
As the Prophet Musa whenever he used to come home The first thing he used to say as salaam alaikum.
bozhou any language you like Nelson It's okay. Just say us to them and they can keep
does the first thing the Prophet our system used to say bringing peace into your home?
praise the wife and not compare her with somebody else. This is extremely important. Like the Buddha said, if you want to live happy, never compare your wife with somebody else.
effect mesh a lot
of competing here with somebody else. Your friend, Allahu Akbar. She cooks, Masha Allah.
You know her husband must be extremely happy.
My mother, oh, my mother. He's not talking about his mother. I have some students they have this problem. You know, the wives actually call my wife and they start complaining that you know that we don't he does not converse with us. He just talks to his mother, but he does not talk to me. It's a big problem. praise your wife.
never compare her with somebody else. never compare her with another way for another sister. You don't like that?
Is that the lucky one? She does something. That's why I like a lash watercolor mesh.
Have a killer, killer, killer, killer
tracer. This will give her some sort of encouragement to do more next time is my brothers and sisters, my sisters, this also applies to you. I'm not giving this message only to the the brothers. And then you go home and then the sister who continues.
Are you ready? that
it applies to both
praise. There's one sister who wanted to praise her husband.
And then he came home and he was really, really upset. So she says she wants to give him a no she wants to comfort him.
He said matsushima he had him up. He had a donkey. He says metal shaman. The shaman passed away.
And she says, oh, what should I say to comfort him?
She wanted to go for Come on.
She said you are building 100 donkey.
What's wrong? No, no, no, you don't have to dunk and then she just spoiled this. Oh,
no, no, no.
use some hikma. Use some checkmat
that's number four, on number five. Number six. Participate together in the household corps of chores of the household. It is extremely important. Because some husbands my brothers and sisters, they think that they are ministers of Finance.
Their work is on the outside, paying the bills and whatnot that they when they come home. It is not my responsibility to participate into the truth of the of the of the household. It is the responsibility of the wife who says are you going into the profit? So Sarah, when I showed you Laura and her who described him?
She birthed in Bukhari, there's a whole chapter in Bukhari
talks about this.
How was the prophet and he saw the same kind of feedback.
He was in the service of his wife when he was asked what was the provenance of smartphone. He was in the service of his wives. Always service in his wife's work in supporting his wife's participating in troves of home that there's nothing wrong. My brothers and sisters have us sometimes cooking.
You get sick of this buddy Anybody? Anybody any salsa, okay, here My turn. I cook something else. And then maybe you can, if you burn it, it's okay. Give it a try.
Help maybe silca you left the butter said you're cooked I was the dishes.
Help. It's very important ingredient. By the way you were in your eproms because we're in the kitchen now. The kitchen of love talking about these ingredients that will help us develop this love.
Number seven kind words.
Because kind words mothers and sisters are Southern
Alka Lima Paiva sada.
Say something nice.
We don't have money to give as charity you can say beautiful word to your life, it will be counted as a charity. It's a form of charity is a form of very bad.
It could be as trivial as a smile in the face of your wife.
A smile in the face of your wife is considered to be better.
Because my brothers or sisters, there's some brothers actually who come to the mission. Hmm.
They smile and they laugh. As soon as they go home.
The colonel the general the no smiles the bus has come home. No smile whatsoever. Why? Because I'm the boss. I shouldn't show them that I'm smart that I smile. Why? Because they may show my weakness so I don't smile at home I only smile outside lash.
A certain layer of metal
layer see a smile in the face of your wife is a form of a charity.
Don't give her that yellow smile. I call it yellow smile.
Give me a smile from your heart. Show it from here coming from here. Nice smile. Duck the hug as I talked about a beautiful smile, a beautiful hug a beautiful ceremony comma beautiful, brilliant, beautiful word. These are all things that will help inshallah tada developed that word that we speed up here. Spend time out together.
out together, dine out together, you know go out, no parks together, whatever just you need to spend some time out together with your wife. It is extremely important.
into the into flourishing and embellishing the the relationship between spouses
I cannot emphasize it enough my business sisters to try to spend time together out with your wife's
peaceful galleries number nine peaceful galleries to discuss issues jokes, anything but whoa have those peaceful galleries with your wives
husband has to be balanced
by honesty Johnny
What do I mean balanced? There's certain husbands always say yes.
Whatever they asked for Yes, yes or no husbands? No
no, no. We gotta be bannos Medina.
I want to visit my mother by Let's go together and shabbaton
sometimes you know there's certain people certain husband they always either the either know, somebody that we have to be somewhere in the in the middle bounced number 11
show your interest and support and care
especially when they're sick. Because they remember
the day when they're sick and they need you and you weren't there while lucky they show you how when they get better and when they say do not remember that they want I needed you went there and they will keep in mind you know, but that time for the rest of their lives.
That's how they are Subhan Allah Allah has created men with some characteristics and created women with other characteristics they tend to remember these little things as us men
yeah and then maybe you do a lot of good things and you forget about them but she does you know you do one little thing or one little bad thing to her she remembers that for the rest of her life so the Kosovo Mohammed salatu salam
the formula sheet
when the profit so system says that the coffee and then they said what kind of coffee they say what to do towards your husband's when they know sometimes your husband they do server good things towards them and then they don't show praise back but the day when their husband does something do something something bad right? They keep reminding them about that that thing did they when they will say model am incoherent I've never seen something good from you know I'm never seen I've never seen nothing good from you. You've never told me anything bad anything good anything nice. You've never taken me out you've never know hugged me You've never kissed me but I was they forget about
all those good things that they want you to something that how could have avoided salatu salam but inshallah sisters are not from those. I don't want to create any Fussel conflicts here. Our sisters have here and our mothers and they're not from those These are the people who do not who actually do not connect themselves or not connect themselves with a lot of Xhosa.
So show your support and your interests and care.
number 12 This is extremely important. Break the routine.
Always the same thing. You come home.
You go have dinner, you go to your bed, you go watch TV, and then you know break that routine. Especially with your wife. surprise her or surprise him. He comes home he's tired. He goes to his home. He goes to his bed he opens the bedroom, the door and then he finds I don't know. flowers everywhere.
What what what what am I saying something
nice. When he comes home then you're there. Maybe you came in home before her
and then she was she wants to do some shopping and then she came home and then she smells something nice What's going on? Honey? I cook dinner for you tonight? Yes, we'll have such a beautiful evening.
surprise her break that routine routine is Jani used to do this when there's that routine or they used to do these to travel for three four days, change things and then come back just to break that rhythm. Always the same thing always the same thing Some people say oh Should I break the routine? Yeah
no no that's not what I'm saying.
What we need to break this routine but I'm not saying creating I'll have a fight law yeah and a break the routine by doing something different. Surprising you the wife holster pressing your husband
that's number 12 number 13 pamper her
they love to be pampered
now I'm what's going on here
and put your husband here happy Richie. Yeah, yeah, this Yeah, better.
Whatever you want to call her and call her with the most beautiful names
in the world, there is a chapter called cornea to nissa. cornea, the names the Prophet alayhi salatu salam used to call her sometimes. Yeah.
Blondie Blondie was she blue eyed and he just bumper his bumper in her because she likes to be called in on that. If your wife likes to be called honey corn or honey, if she likes to be called honeybee honeybee in a vinegar, vinegar, wherever I don't care.
Anything to just pump on the web. That's beautiful. That's nice. Same thing, you know, so there's some husbands who kill their wives. Yo.
Yo, yo, heavy. Yo, buddy. Okay. She's your buddy. Yo, yo, yo, what is this? You?
Does she like it? No, she doesn't. But for me, it's easy. Yo, it's better than a mouse. But up on what's going on? Yo bush.
She likes to be in a pump with her. Yeah, she uh, you know, things like that same thing for your husband's my sisters. Same thing, pumper each other.
That will increase love amongst you. It will definitely Christoph amongst you.
Number 14. Don't hide your feelings. Being straightforward. If something harms you or something hurts you. Talk to your wife, talk to your husband, not in front of people.
of your kids. Never in front of your kids. You have a problem. Go to the side with your wife. Just you and you often talk about it. Don't just pick up the phone that because a lot of sisters they come in brothers economy complain about this in a little argument that happens. Pick up the phone dad's you know what he did? What did he did again? Oh, he did you know, the anahola
for under the South cursing him Why? If you have a problem solved with between you and you're the wife, you don't have any little things. You just pick up the phone and call the mother or the father or whatnot that tried to solve your problems just between you peacefully between you and your spouse. Not in front of your kids. Again, extremely important. Never in front of your kids. And never argue in front of your kids.
There was always this is a true story. It happens. A sister, she was with her husband and then he sort of a year that's her and then she started crying.
And then her parents showed up.
So she opened the door and then she was dripping some you know some tears. And then they said, What are you crying? She could have said Oh, do you know what she did? But she didn't say sir. She didn't say that. You know what she said? She said, Well, I was thinking about you. I missed you. So I started crying.
How the hilma sorry.
I thought about you and I started crying. And then they came in. She welcomed them. She cooked dinner and then she acted like and nothing happened.
And the husband was there. He noticed he says what's going on here? As soon as the parents left he went and he bought a very nice gift. And then he came to his wife and he said is that lucky? Is that lucky? He taught me very nice. Listen, second one.
Another one she had a problem with her husband and she went to the chef.
Yes, yes. My husband doesn't listen to me always argues with me. He does not come home and this and that. And then the chef told her listen.
I want you for one month, never argue with your husband.
Whatever he says just go along, move on. Go along. Come back to me and see me for a woman This is your prescription.
After one month she tried to call a shift she couldn't find him.
After a couple months he tried to close them again. She was able to get a hold of him unless you saw the mission. I've been trying to come to California for the past couple of months. And he says okay, how is it tell me? He said she says My husband is like a ring in my finger.
Whatever he says I say TK
whatever I say he says he or she says to me Okay, whatever Okay, okay. No problem arguments you want this? Fine.
bumper, her color with her Most Beautiful Names. I just mixed those into.
Don't talk about your problems.
we can Sharla
now, my brother Snyder.
Stand up, please stand up. Please. Stand up. Stand up. Stand up.
Everybody stand up please. Now, everybody stand up please
give a hug to your brother give a hug to somebody next to you give him a hug. Everybody give a hug to each other. Hug each other Bismillah hUg hUg hUg hUg
hUg a good hug from the heart from the heart.
Thank you nice nice.
Have a seat please have a seat. Have a seat.
Have a seat.
This was also hug each other
let me know when I should
proceed Can I proceed? By
81 Have a seat please.
Number 16. Now
let me know whenever you want me to start.
I should have just four more points to Charlotte and I'm done.
You're recording now you put a passport on this
is the number 13 no pampering the wife and and calling her with her Most Beautiful Names are two different points. Okay.
Number 16. As I said don't talk about your problems at the time of going to beds Lana because some May Allah forgive him some sisters, they are professionals in doing that. The time of you want to go to bed and the rest. They have a list. A list of expenses, bills problems awaiting you.
You're not going to have a beautiful night's sleep. You will have nightmares.
When you go to bed, the bed is time to relax. Time to talk about beautiful things. As a matter of fact, experts they say that we should actually invest in our bedrooms more than the living rooms because what people tend to do now when you go to their homes
we tend to spend a lot of money trying to decorate our living rooms why not the guest rooms the family rooms, but percentage time if I were to ask you how much time do you spend in your living room versus your message bedroom?
Roughly speaking, how much time sometimes you don't go to your living room for a week until somebody shows up. But your master bedroom you go there every day at least eight hours a day isn't it they said they said that's what we should invest more right? Make it look nice make it look romantic, a beautiful beautiful pillows silky things whatever make it the room was if you were to go you will feel extremely happy, extremely peaceful. A serene environment you and your wife yes
that's the bedroom and I know one of my students I know I'm not saying this please sisters don't take it easy on your husband's he went and he told his wife I want you to really create the innovate my bedroom going by everything brand new new beds, new sheets new everything color print everything. The whole Extreme Makeover thing it happened to the master bedroom right after he heard this so I'm not saying this is just make your bedroom somewhere where you would go and feed peace. Nice don't talk about your problems in your bedroom.
Number 17 show tanks
show tanks just like love him when she does something nice yeah nice show your support as I said goes hand in hand with the some of the other points but showing thanks Malema screeners let me scroll.
Who does not think people who wouldn't take Allah
take people take her whenever she does something like I need to thank her. Apologize. This is number 18 apologize, a times of errors and mistakes. There is nothing wrong about you saying sorry. I'm wrong. I'm sorry. Because some husbands or some men they think that's going to show how weak I am man and actually shows
When you do something, yeah. And when you make a mistake and you say I'm sorry is like laughing about a Colombian, you Please forgive me. This Forgive me. It really shows that other side of you.
Number 19 respect marriage
No respect would not, and shall not last forever. It can't. You have to have respect in your marriage.
You respect your wife, and you respect your husband.
And number 20. Last but not least, contemplate the seed of the Prophet alayhi salatu salam, I hope, I think maybe Sheikh Mohammed Al Sharif maybe talked about this today, contemplating the seal of the Prophet alayhi salatu salam, how's the provenance of them with his wives read the books and the sealer, the talk about the treatment of the prophet to his wives, as he used to race Ayesha and used to beat her once and she used to beat him and race him, you know,
once and then and then he used to say, yeah.
Muslim, she says that, you know, the Prophet used to sit on my lap. And he used to,
and she used to play with his hair. And he salatu salam, imagine Alisha sitting with the provinces and the Prophet leaning on her on her lap. And then she's playing with her with his head with his hair. And his recital. Yesterday, what kind of beautiful gathering is that?
He's with the Irish. And he told her, she told me, tell me about the worst, your worst hardship. And then he told her about the time when he went to
Italy in this gathering here. He's sitting here by the thought if and when he had five, and then he and then he told her and then and then he went, and he got a cup of milk. And then he said, Yeah, I'd like you to drink. And then she says, Please drink first. She says no, nyesha, please drink first, she drank first. And then he took her cup of milk. And then he turned it from the same spot where she drank from, and then he drank from it. This is called the art of love. And then he picked another piece of meat. And then he said, Yeah, I should please have a bite to zero. So please do have a bite first. He said, No, no, I'd like you to have a bite first. So she had a bite from this
meter morsel of this piece of meat. And then he hired and then he took from the same spot when she had the bite. And then he had another bite to
not germ Sherry and whatnot.
This is again, the act of love.
This is how life or how marriage can flourish and prosper.
at the hotel. There's so many problems my brothers and sisters
happening in our society, unfortunately, between husbands and wives,
as I talked to him in our mentioned in the beginning about problems about divorce, and when this man it's a true thing. You know what, actually, I don't know how true it is. But I heard it from somebody who said this man who divorced four or five wives in one minute. He was married to four wives. He told a friend Oh, he got an argument into an argument with one and he told her
the second wife, she said to ABA, well, she didn't do anything. And then he says you have part of
your divorce too. And then the third one, she come and she says, Yeah, Hey, what's going on here? They're both twice in 10 seconds. He said, You are divorced twice.
And then the fourth Why? She says, Well, I can't imagine
yourself crazy. How can you divorce your two or three wives in no time? He says you are the worst.
the neighbor, wife. She was listening. What kind of crazy man is he? He was four waves in no time. He says you're the worst. If your husband agrees. The husband says I agree. She says you're divorced.
In less than a minute.
leahlani my brothers, you should really be careful. Because I'm telling you really seriously. I get some calls sometimes from the mother saying Yeah, no, some sisters complained about you know, just for any little pink. talaq talaq
had the least amount of Harlequin Harlequin Muslim and what I mean so should help us to practice and to convey please as I said, again, I don't want to have you know this, you know, the the flower shops been packed only tomorrow on Charlotte early morning. We want this to be a continuous process. The another profit is sort of SimCity reported by Al Bukhari Muslim when
the Prophet it sort of says, The best is the most beloved is in the set of
continuous deeds, even if they're trivial. But continuous deeds, something that you do continuously. I don't want you to go and buy your wife today, a flower or a rose or maybe some kid cat or some chocolate and the philosophy she wants to do that for another 10,000 years.
Plus, to practice on the COVID como La Habra. calophyllum subhanak 100 sure that LA LA and technical stuff in the corner tool
zocalo Fagin. It is time for a struggle a Chanel so the van will be done. Same style. We'll pray leaving this here after the salah and sha Allah, they are a question and answer. Could everyone hear me