Riad Ouarzazi – Homemade Happiness #15 – Water the Love Part 3

Riad Ouarzazi
AI: Summary © The speakers discuss the success of successful women in relationships, including those who have become successful after their partner's death. They emphasize the importance of being fair and respecting women, particularly when it comes to relationships. The speakers also touch on the signs of loyalty, including extending love, showing love to others, and not just highlighting it. They stress the importance of listening to others' characteristics and personalities to build one's listening skills.
AI: Transcript ©
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So they might have like a lot of cat

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similarities in the last two summers with

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three others as you were coming up to homemade happiness. This is session number 15.

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So then what

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then was the lender one mother had been they've got Instagram, we've got Facebook, just allow me a few minutes in Charlotte to give a chance for more people to log in.

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And then we're back into our we're gonna resume our series which we have started

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some time back called homemade happiness and today's episode number 15.

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And eight swatter the love part number three. So this is the title for today's lecture. What are the love part number three?

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series of homemade happiness.

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All right.

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So I'm just giving a minute or two for more people to join in Sharla

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and then also Helen, Mr. haben,

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Helena, Helena Helen

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Hope you're doing great hope you're doing fine.

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hamdulillah in our

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in Ontario, the province of Ontario they have made an announcement that they're going to be reopening the places of worship as of this Friday inshallah. But there will be some constraints of course

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30% 30% of every measured capacity.

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So that's a challenge right there.

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Social distancing, distancing has been increased to 10 so that's not bad.

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But the massage is now going to be challenged you know, when you 30% so how are you going to you know, make that distinction who gets to come and who gets to go and who gets to stay and But anyways, handle that massage it we're getting there we're getting there. You know, the so the slowly slowly where you're opening and going back into our norms law medically. Anyways, that was great news and we're getting excited to go back to our MSA inshallah. Whoa, dad. So I'm welcoming you back to our series, the homemade happiness series.

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We'll be talking about you know, all these foundations and principles

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in the series, those of you who are new brand new to this series, this is something that we have started hamdulillah after we finished the whole the end of time series re before Ramadan. And we've been we started coming to the series to tackle issues that we face sometimes at home, talking to the brothers, the sisters talking to the husbands and wives talking to the moms and dads talking to every member of the household hamdulillah So in the previous two sessions, we'll be talking about the you know, watering the love meaning

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talking to husbands and wives, and sharing with them

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some proactive

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items on how to re energize the love how to re energize if that love is always there handler will always say that love is always there, and shall always remain there. But how can we re energize that love so that's why we call it water, the love just like a plant or flower. If you don't water that plant, if you don't water that flower, you know, the flower will die. So in our relationships, we have to keep watering the flowers, we have to keep watering the love. This is why I call it water the love. And this is part number three. So we've already had two sessions talking about you know,

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you know, husbands and wives and this like I mentioned earlier sisters and brothers, those of you have missed it, you can always go back and watch them. They're all you know, they're all my Facebook and YouTube and they're on Instagram, the you know, whether you're married or not married, you will benefit from these sessions.

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Everybody would benefit from these sessions. So anyways, last week, we spoke about the very last time so I just gave a minute

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Or to, for more people to join, I don't know, people tend to be really, really, really slow. Jordan, but, you know, we're getting there somehow that we were, you know, in the 50s. Going back into the 10s, first, you know, right after Ramadan, the attendance has gone down drastically. So Pamela, I don't know what happened to people, but I've been told that this is how it is after Ramadan, people, they tend to go in that, in that, you know, slow mode, hopefully, that, you know, you stay fit and staying healthy inshallah. Anyways,

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the very last time we spoke about, you know, last week with regard to the husbands and wives,

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you know, I mentioned the fact that after, you know, in, we know that saying that says,

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Behind every successful man, they know, there's a successful woman, there's a great woman, you know, so that great woman could be his wife, great woman could be his mother, that great woman could be his daughter, his sister, right. And

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I mentioned that I gave some examples, some illustrations on some great leaders

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who have become so successful. And when you search into, you know, and, you know, do a little research on these people and, and their and their life and their stories, you would find that Panama, the majority, if not all these people who are really successful behind them, there was a secret and that secret would, you know, would be coming from there was a woman, a woman that was behind them, and that woman, like I said, it's either their wife, or their mom, you know, their mothers. The story of Ford, I mentioned that last week, his wife was behind his success, the story of Honda, the guy that, you know, the cars, the manufacturers, you know, his story, his success, who

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was behind his success, his wife, as well, the story of Dale Carnegie, I mentioned his story as well, last week, all his success, his wife was behind his success, and so forth and so forth. Prophet Mohammed Ali santosa, Prophet Mohammed in a hadisha was behind, you know, when he first started, before he started out, he sought to sit at his wife, you know, Khadija has played

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an instrumental role, you know, behind his, his data, especially in the beginning years, you know, she was so instrumental in the, in the spread of the, of the message of Islam is why when the Prophet Mohammed came down from that cave, and then he went to her scared and terrified, and how she played that that role, you know, to keep him, you know, focused and, and to support him and to encourage him Salalah when he was setting him, you know, you know, all that story, right? When we, when he went to her, and then she, she, and he told her to, you know, cover him and, and he told her the story of this man who came and start, you know, was hugging him and almost about to choke. And

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then, and then she listened to him, you know, these are the ingredients that I mentioned last week, the ingredients on how to empower your love, you know, listen to your husbands, support him, you know, show interest at what he does. And then we spoke about both husbands and wives, because brothers and sisters, especially the brothers out there, and brother, half is if you know that you're there, hamdulillah. And all the brothers out there, if you want your wife to be your Khadija or if you want your wife to be an archbishop, you've got to be Prophet Mohammed for her, don't you? You know, so that we need to be fair, yes. You know, as a preacher, I talk you know, and I talked to

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the husbands and I talked to the wives, you know, so I don't want to to misunderstand, you know, my message, you know, not saying that the chef is only talking to women, how bad the husbands are, but the men, I talk to everyone and I give a message to everyone. So if you want your your wives to be like Khadija and if you want your wife to be like a shot, we as husbands, we need to be like Prophet Mohammed, as I said, I'm here just to be fair, right? But again, remember I mentioned and I talked about the, the love pyramid, I call it the love pyramid. And what's that love pyramid. It's like a pyramid. It starts with, you know, it starts with selfish love. And we don't want our relationships

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with our spouses or our loved ones to be selfish love, you know, selfish love. I just cared about me and I don't care about nobody else. Everybody has to love me.

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And then under that selfish love comes something called conditional love. We do not want our relationships to be you know, like conditional love. I will love you love me. I love you. You serve me then I will love you. You serve me I serve you. you support me and support you the day when you're nice to me that that would be nice to you. Yeah. And and so on and so forth. This will become such a very rigid type of relationship. No, we want it

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That pyramid, you know, the bottom of that pyramid is something called unconditional love. This is where we want our relationships to be and how we want our religions to be with our loved ones, just like how you love your children and conditional love, despite of how naughty they could be some times, but you still have to love them. Likewise, love your husbands love your wives unconditionally. Yes, there's always things that need to be worked out, always and sorted out, always right.

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We all need to improve and you all we all grow in this relationship, and we all need to improve. So my brothers and sisters,

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we need to shout Allahu taala work to make that relationship into unconditional kind of love. And then we talked about something really important last week, I said, I love loyalty.

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It's really I said, it's a very, very rare type of currency, loyalty between husbands and wives. Even Allah subhanho wa Taala says that in the end, while utensil will forever be nickel. And don't forget the good between you even May Allah forbid, you know, when people sometimes they go through divorce

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some Pamela and you see sometimes in our, in our, you know, culture, and I just say culture and not Islam, not not you know, it's just tradition. Sometimes the majority of the couples when they go to divorce, as if it becomes

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as if it becomes like, a like in, in our enemies, you know, they become enemies, they become, you know, the they show so much hatred towards one another, whereas Subhan Allah.

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Allah Xhosa says And don't forget the good between you.

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Allah subhanho wa Taala also says no car and with regards to our relationships with our spouses, I should have also said somebody said, if you were to live with them, then treat them with kindness mouth.

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But if you were to, you know, split, if you were to part,

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no set apart, like part away, then do that with equitable terms. We said with excellence with, you know, with what you said, You have Islam, amen says something like the top of everything is it sir? You know, so when you are living with them, you lived with them with with my whole life, we treat them with kindness with gentleness. But if you were to split the split with Sam, you know, don't Don't you know, we have a lot of, you know, single moms, you know, divorced moms.

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Whereas, or sometimes I'll be I'll be fair again, when children are involved, and then sometimes the the husband may take the children or the wife may take the children, and she would not allow her husband to see his children. They're still his children, regardless of whatever the problem that happens between you and your and your husband, right? Well, your ex, things are down cause but the children are neutral. That's their father. And she is a mother regardless is still that that and she's still the mom. So how can you stop or reframe your know,

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the father to see his kids or to reframe the mom to see her kids is hard on you cannot do that they know, of course this case by case basis, but you can never do that. Right? So how should 100 be my Oh, sorry.

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Where's the sound here? That if you want to split split with, you know, equitable terms, send with excellence. treat each other with Sam, we know Don't forget as Allah Subhana Allah to Allah says, what a tensor one Fadil Don't forget the father was the father good between you. There was so much good between you and it could be 10 years of marriage, five years, 10 years, 15 years, 2030 years, 40 years of marriage.

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Something happened and then you decided to set apart by you know, Apple with a label.

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But don't forget the good between you.

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So there's something called here and we're fat loyalty, whether you're still married with your husband or your wife, or whether you're not married with your husband and your wife. There's something called

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loyalty as a

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prophet Mohammed as I said, was another amazing example when it comes to this very rare you know, currency. I love that.

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His example would Khadija remember I mentioned that a little bit last week, you know, after 13 years when he went back to Mecca, he did not want to go and and and, and and be hosted by any people from Mecca. He wanted to go and mount attempt by the grave of Khadija. The grave of Khadija. They mounted him attend and you stayed there by Khadija she was dead. But he was loyal to her.

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salon you said he never forgot

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when somebody used

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Send him and he was with who? Who underwrites this? Ayesha Ayesha she narrates that whenever somebody sends some gift to the Prophet as I said in terms of food, he will say he will say save some to swashy bet Khadija send some to the Friends of Khadija. Hi she narrates this, imagine she is the other wife of the Prophet. So somebody sent the Prime Minister some some meat or some some gifts or something, he would say save some and give it to his friends. He will never not only had enough religious friends how he was loyal to her some love that you said, and he's supposed to let you know he was he was staying with the you know, sitting with the with the with Alisha one day. He seen with

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Ayesha one day.

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And then and then he heard the voice of of Hannah. Hannah who's had a had a she's the sister of Khadija. He says Allahumma had been to Hawaii lahoma he was so he was so extremely excited and happy just to hear the voice of Halla who is the sister of Khadija. She made him think of Khadija and the time of Khadija water the love. This is what we call loyalty and welfare. He never forgot.

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Elisa Sarah, just by hearing the voice of Hannah. She made him think of Khadija Ella and how Alba my brothers and sisters you know it's all right so this is still just you know some recapitalizations given time for more people to join and shallow data as people are joining slowly slowly slowly Pamela we've been on the the attendance has been drastically lowered after Ramadan but it's okay hamdulillah people they tend to join you know right after inshallah we go back, but you can always come back and watch the series, whatever you have missed out, they are recorded, you can always go back and watch them whether you're married or not married, whether you're single, divorced, whether

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your sister brother, husband, wife, Mom, you know that you will benefit from the series called homemade happiness. So my brothers and sisters, what are the size of our fat?

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What are the signs of low fat? This is what we left off last week, the signs of

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loyalty. Are there any signs? Yes, I left it as a cliffhanger last week. Before I do that shallow. Let me see how you guys are doing in Sharla. So that we can, you know, carry on and resume our conversation and we're talking about loyalty because right after loyalty, I want to talk about something else still about husbands and wives. I want to talk about how to look at your loved one, how to look at her how to look at your husband how to look at your wife, I want to I want to talk about that. Look, I want to talk to you about today in Charlotte. And hopefully I want to talk about how to have fun with your spouse. What Yes. How to Have Fun. Are you talking about? How does she

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think I'm gonna talk about something? How long? If you are next to me? I have?

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What do you mean? Hello, I want to talk about how that how to have fun with your spouse, I want to talk about that today's one jumbo data, I want to talk about the responsibility of the husband to teach and educate his wife as well. This is our responsibilities. And we'll talk about the fact if the wife she is more knowledgeable as than the husband, what should we do in that case? Why not? I would like to talk about that in shall mode data. I thought I would like to talk about you know, sometimes when you marry

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someone, and then you're pretty layman, and then you become Mashallah, yeah. And you religious, more committed to your religion versus your wife or your husband who's pretty, you know, laid back. So what do we do in that case? Because we have a lot of cases like that, you know, sometimes husbands come in asking for divorce or wives come in asking for a divorce. My husband does not pray. And I know from this method, if you are married to somebody who does not pray, he does harm you're married to Catholic, he's not a Muslim, you know, so what do we say? Because that made him says whoever does not pray. He's not a Muslim. So I'm married to a non Muslim, what should we say? You know, I want to

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talk about that as well. I want to talk about what else I want to talk about. Heat in your life. What? Oh, come on, come on, come on, where we're, we're This is 2000 22,020. What do you mean Vietnam, there are many cases that many cases of, of, you know sort of, of domestic violence our homes, so many cases of domestic violence, your thinking or your any Wake up and smell whatever you need to smell. There are so many cases of of, of domestic violence, husbands beating up their wives. Yes, yes, to be fair, to be fair, there are cases of wives beating up their husbands, but not if you want to be just and you want to be fair in terms of equality. Of course, there are more cases of

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wives being beaten up by their husbands than than wives.

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You know, beating up their own husbands but they're more of course in our case, but they are. Well, I am serious. There are cases of why's Alaska vinyasa beating up their husbands. I've seen it with my own eyes.

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Yes, he can skinny Nikita if you're married to that sister by the name of Ninja, whatever, that sister Ninja, right? She's a ninja. She goes use Garen her sword with her. How can her husband be talking to her? She talks with her sword. And she has all her weapons everywhere, right? You know, he talks to she, you know, he doesn't even know

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Robin from afar, you won't even know where it's with him. But she is married to ninja right? Anyways.

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So there's lots of things that I want to cover, inshallah, tada, there are a lot of things I want to cover. Hopefully if you know today if not, if not today, maybe one last session before I move on talk about you know, youth

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I want to talk about youth and spend enough time talking with the youth and and and and their friends and youth and friends and youth and and problems of sexuality problems of drugs you know, I want to talk about this is why we call it homemade happiness. It's not like in vain you know it's it's it's the title we I handler without love deeply or not. And then before we we chose this title because we cover every member of the family so my brothers and sisters going back to and we're fat loyalty, what are the signs of loyalty? Right? What are the signs of loyalty? But first and foremost? How are you guys doing? How's my brother Humphreys doing? How's Mariana doing how's Lula

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Webb doing?

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heavy with Imani Yamaha Yamaha mama Ronnie my heavy

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aim but not how are you guys doing? How's he doing? man doing how are you guys doing? Who is here? How's everyone doing? How's everyone doing? I missed you guys. Linda was Alan woman's habit I have Facebook out there and they have Instagram right here just asking everyone first and chicken on all of you yes mean it should be as mean I guess right yes mean but it's Yash mean I don't know. I learned sila bride Oh Long time no see sila bridal studio. Long time no hear

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Dr. Hahn and then Ke

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Ke ko widecombe sit down and then Sabbath Marcia Bandicam then alan alan Mizzou. Why

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why Missouri Missouri from Birmingham why majority measured means and known why you want to call yourself mage who though your name is mature why you want to call yourself magical learn the ash mean it should be as mean exactly

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an ISA learned a lot about my dad made a mistake

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your dad made a mistake then go back and fix it you know yes mean it's just a name you can always go back and change it you know blown

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up a balance sheet

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habagat go all right. Anyways

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it's an old name change it man. You know don't call it don't call yourself mature. You're not mature. You're maloom

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you know, man, you're not measured your man oh, you know if you have a your the mo Jude mission manual module exists then you can see that mission module like Well, are you Jin?

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Jin Jin. But you my brothers and sisters. Then Brother Mohammed and Ellis Island had an army of Yamaha Yamaha Yamaha babbacombe alright brothers and sisters Listen up. As I said, those of you who've missed out I mean this is part number three of water the love while reading the love right part number three still talking about homemade happiness

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by the unsolved

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Yes, yes, I remember you. You came to my Moroccan retreat. You came to my Moroccan retreat you get into so many seminars and seminars. I know I know. You married to this two sisters. That is the Disney No sister. I forgot her name, man. But I know who you're married to. And I know I know. I know who your house I know. Hola. I remember and then was alan alan alan alan. Anyways.

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May Allah Subhana Allah Allah bless you all. May Allah azza wa jal Ghannouchi all tofik

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anyways, but this is sisters. Let's go back to

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two homemade happiness

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Session number four, talking about watering the love. If you have missed again one last time any of these sessions, go back and watch them. They're all recorded on Facebook. They are on Instagram and they are on YouTube. I spoke to everybody you know every member of your family anyways brothers and sisters. I had a method with that. Okay, take notes now. Stop texting, stop texting, take notes and shallow tat

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method with the signs of loyalty between husbands and wives. Number one are you guys reading sisters brothers? You know, are you guys ready? stop texting.

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stop texting.

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So dia LuLaRoe Are you guys ready?

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So the Lula Kiko blonde You guys ready?

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Huh? Oh man, all right Yella, you're ready to start taking notes now.

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Signs of

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Alright, signs of loyalty between husbands and wives, whether you're married or not married or divorced, there's always loyalty there. Or maybe your husband or your wife has passed away. So what are the signs of loyalty? Number one, the sense of loyalty you will always defend your your wife or your loved one your husband always front of her family front of his family, and I'm in front of people, you will not let no one speak bad about them. Right? Always will support and, and and and

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defend them as be good about them. This is one of the signs of loyalty sign number one. sign number one. always defend your husband, your wife, either front of her family or front of people do not let no one you know speak bad about them. Regardless of what happens, it goes on what they do. You always have to defend them if they do something wrong. And I'm not saying they do something wrong. always find a good you know, way to defend your spouse inshallah. She's your spouse, or he is your spouse. So you've got to defend them. You've got to speak good about them. Number two, don't just divorce for no reason. You know, even you know, divorce. There is one sort of assertion made just

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about divorce. A bollock and here I may be talking about maybe if I just talk about divorce. I could have another maybe two or three sessions just talking about divorce, but that's not you know, the point here.

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A lot of surgeon has made this article sort of the Pollak and has made it so difficult. You know, don't just say you know, Ballack Ballack Ballack has, you know, given you so many steps, so many stages, before you utter the words of divorce, then the prophets Larson says that the most

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the test for Helen in the eyes of Allah Xhosa, in the sight of Allah, the Most detestable Helen is his taanach his divorce, it is Hillel. But yet it is the most detest from Helen in the sight of Allah social is tallac. But it is there it is there, right. But it should always be the the very, you know what I say? I said divorce that word divorce, you should throw it in a in a in a box, right in a box and throw the box in a very, like very deep in the ocean, very deep in the ocean and leave a very thin, you know, thread, you know, very thin so that you can pull it but it will not be easy to pull it right it will be very hard to pull the word of the horse likewise, not for any reason

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that you think yesterday she was well, let me tell you some stories. They may sound funny but crazy. You know, he just wants to issue her divorce because Allah has given him that power to issue divorce because she can also ask for divorce. Just so you know. Your wife can also ask for divorce. You know, she's just like, whatever. If you touch that wall, your divorce. If you touch that TV, you're divorced. If you touch that thing, if you go that you're divorced, if you come here you're divorced if you man

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you need ninja man you need to be married to that ninja sister.

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You need to be married to that means your sister who has the sword man.

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She would teach you we know about it.

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This is ridiculous.

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At the time of Abu hanifa this woman she was walking up the ladder. She's walking up the ladder

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and then the mental his wife he says if you go up one step your divorce if you go down one step you're divorced.

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Look at this guy.

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He says one step up, you're divorced, one step down. You're divorced.

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He just wants to issue this divorce. He just wants to divorce. So her issue is going up the ladder. One step up, you're divorced. Once they've done you're divorced. So how am I gonna do with this now? Yeah, I know she wants she's got she's stuck there for the rest of her life. If she does not want to do the work, she's stuck there for the rest of her life. But she was smart. She was smarter than him. She jumped.

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She jumped from the from the ladder because he said one step up your divorce one step down, you're divorced. But she was smarter she jumped. And she says, No, ne ne ne, ne, ne ne ne, de vos, ne ne ne, ne ne ne, ne Allah and then she did this by Allah ne ne ne.

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What can I tell you? You know, she has smart, she's smarter than her husband.

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So this is ridiculous, man. Come on.

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What do you want? Mostly bad.

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One step up your divorce one step down. You're divorced.

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This guy needs he needs really.

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He needs

00:31:27 --> 00:31:28

the stick of bla bla bla.

00:31:30 --> 00:31:32

I hope she jumped on his head.

00:31:33 --> 00:31:42

Yeah, my buddy cut Kyle. I love you. They miss you, man. It's been a long time. Really? She jumped in his head. I hope she jumped in he said and broke his back to

00:31:44 --> 00:31:52

one guy. He entered his house and he found his wife sleeping and he says May Allah make you sleep like the people of the cave?

00:31:56 --> 00:32:05

What May Allah make you sleep like the people of the cave in? How long have they slept for 300 years? May Allah make you sleep like the people of the cave?

00:32:08 --> 00:32:09

Oh, no.

00:32:10 --> 00:32:14

The people of the cave? Yeah. And he was it again, if you don't want

00:32:17 --> 00:32:17

what is Robbie?

00:32:20 --> 00:32:31

This guy he could not deal with his wife until she died. And he went to her to her grave. miska doing this Benjamin is reading Miss noon. He went to his wife in her grave and he says you know

00:32:33 --> 00:32:39

you are far left. They said You're crazy. How can you? How can you divorce somebody who's already dead?

00:32:40 --> 00:32:45

How can you do for somebody who's dead? He says I don't want you to be my wife in general man.

00:32:48 --> 00:32:48


00:32:50 --> 00:32:55

is crazy man. danada Bedouin Yeah. Nikita you see masimo

00:32:56 --> 00:33:01

he is dead in her grave. And he told he went to his grave he says you have fallen

00:33:03 --> 00:33:03

into panic.

00:33:05 --> 00:33:13

And the thought of is not the divorce there is not valid Of course she's dead man. How can you divorce a dead woman? There's no I don't want to I don't want you to marry me in general.

00:33:15 --> 00:33:19

Whereas I had another brother calling me on the phone crying.

00:33:20 --> 00:33:26

Got me on the phone crying saying my wife wants me to divorce her.

00:33:28 --> 00:33:43

And I don't want a divorce. She says no. You have to divorce me if you don't divorce me I will commit suicide I swear well lies it's not it's not a joke. I said what when she says yes divorce me if you don't divorce me I will commit suicide

00:33:45 --> 00:33:50

and the guy says I don't know. I don't know I don't want to but I don't know what to say.

00:33:52 --> 00:33:57

He said she said just say tala tala tala just sit back.

00:34:00 --> 00:34:00

And you sit back

00:34:02 --> 00:34:22

and then she came back crying Why did you divorce me? Why did you get a why and I was just testing you. I was just see if you get it off me. But Islam is not a joke. It's them is not a game. by luck is not a game. You can just be showing your power is known as a palapa clay, I'm a paramedic Hara.

00:34:23 --> 00:34:41

So, one of the signs of loyalty is not just to utter that word for the sake of uttering the word but how they will put a label Ah, you know, this is one of the signs of loyalty, to defend your husband or your wife, not just to issue them up just for the for the for the sake of it. Number three,

00:34:42 --> 00:34:59

extend the love even after death alone, that love should be extended in even after after, you know if they if one of the parties if the one of the you know couples die, that love should be extended even after the death like the Prophet Mohammed would have to do

00:35:00 --> 00:35:02

learn a lot that he never forgot her.

00:35:05 --> 00:35:27

Yes, I heard. And it is true from some some hobbies, you know, his day he said, Well, it's true. It's true that he, his wife passed away. And they were taking the wife, and on to the graveyard. So they took the wife to the graveyard, he buried his wife on the way back, he brought the new wife in.

00:35:31 --> 00:35:45

She's just waiting right there. Right, he took the first wife to the grave, he buried her before he entered the home, he entered home with the second wife, and not the second end, the new one, the new wife, last quarter liberty and Nikita on the go.

00:35:47 --> 00:36:20

Get one, buy one, get one for free. And he won one in the ground. And the one up in the grand I don't know, I don't know. But it's a true Aleister story that I don't know. But anyways, one of the signs of, of loyalty. One of the signs of loyalty is extend that love the love, even until after death. always speak good about them, always love them. And always speak in always defend them whether they're alive, or whether that number four, one of the sons of loyalty brothers and sisters.

00:36:21 --> 00:36:30

So that's tying the ties of kinship, tying the ties of kinship, with with you know, with her family, with his family,

00:36:32 --> 00:36:44

honoring her family honoring his family is you know, it's another amazing great sign of loyalty, warfare between husbands and wives, right? honoring your your in laws,

00:36:46 --> 00:37:17

being gentle to your in laws, serving your in laws, I mean, you're not your outlaws, your in laws, serving them, you know, visiting them being kind to them, you know, your her family, your family, his family, this is you know, showing that that much care is another good sign of, of loyalty. And last sign of loyalty brothers and sisters is a thread that would allow what is default this but not only speaking good about one another, but also making the hat for one another

00:37:19 --> 00:37:31

in the presence and in the absence, making that for your wife in her presence and in her absence making tough for your husband in his in his absence and inheritance in his presence.

00:37:35 --> 00:37:44

Right. So these are some of the signs of loyalty as warfare between husbands and wife, my brothers and sisters

00:37:46 --> 00:37:48

since we're talking about love

00:37:49 --> 00:38:01

Listen to me guys, brothers and sisters Listen up. Don't ask questions this Listen to me. And I'm gonna ask questions and you guys would answer right we will leave the answers or the questions into the Add

00:38:02 --> 00:38:04

love before marriage

00:38:06 --> 00:38:07

can that happen?

00:38:08 --> 00:38:10

Love before marriage?

00:38:11 --> 00:38:13

Is it halal or haram?

00:38:14 --> 00:38:24

Since we're talking about love, right Remember we said water the love we're talking about love what are the love? But love before marriage? Is that hidden or hidden?

00:38:26 --> 00:38:34

Now I'm asking the questions now you guys get to answer key colorblock all of you guys from Instagram and Facebook.

00:38:35 --> 00:38:38

Is it heaven or * on love before marriage?

00:38:41 --> 00:38:42


00:38:43 --> 00:38:45

Tell me tell me caca. Tell me

00:38:47 --> 00:38:52

Oh man, love isn't hot um, but what you do with it is how do I measure is how I

00:38:53 --> 00:38:59

measure that's why your name is measured. That CEPA Manasa mosquito Mona's

00:39:00 --> 00:39:06

Myskina mosquito Allah it can happen highness he makes gonna happen I know it can happen. But is it halal?

00:39:07 --> 00:39:11

or haram? Love before marriage

00:39:12 --> 00:39:32

is halal or haram. There's different types of loves. I'm talking about Don't be Don't be Shakespeare on me. All right. Don't play that Shakespearean thing on me right? Don't be philosophical on me. Just this love. I'm not talking about the different types of love another love there's a love that don't be to

00:39:34 --> 00:39:45

know is this love Hannah O'Hara. All right. So don't Shakespearian me. I'm not an ISA, not me. There's too many types. All right. Is it Helen O'Hara?

00:39:46 --> 00:39:50

Hmm. can happen. It can happen of course it can happen.

00:39:52 --> 00:39:52


00:39:54 --> 00:39:54


00:39:55 --> 00:40:00

For any law also, the way he dealt with it and he said she

00:40:00 --> 00:40:14

Hello, I'm Samson Hara and some saying hello the Illa Allah. Alright, then listen up, listen up, listen up and humble and habitually say I hope

00:40:15 --> 00:40:32

it is not a shame. Right? Love is not a it's not an embarrassment. It's not you know, because sometimes what happens is Love is a feeling and you cannot control that feeling. Right? It's the love can happen, right? Like you said, some of you said, Yeah, depends what you do with it.

00:40:34 --> 00:40:51

How can I say it's haram? Because if you say it's heroin, that means I did something heroin Am I gonna get fired for it for loving somebody without marriage? Am I gonna go to * fire because I did something Haram. That love. It is not ashamed or it's not an embarrassment. Right.

00:40:52 --> 00:41:19

I'll give you an example. And even example, Buhari hiding behind this isn't the time of the Prophet Mohammed Al Jazeera. And, and the best he narrates this, remember, there was this man by the name of Maurice. Mary went on story. Movies. His name was movies. This is a hobby. He was blindly in love with the maid of honor ation of the law. I just made the Her name is

00:41:20 --> 00:41:21


00:41:22 --> 00:41:23


00:41:24 --> 00:41:31

He was so blindly in love with her. They were not married, but blindly in love with her. They got their work, how have they gone?

00:41:33 --> 00:41:38

But she hated him she did not like him better than she did not like the guy

00:41:42 --> 00:42:09

they got I think in some narration said that they got married but they got divorced. And the guy he he loves her to death and blindly following them. Yo fingers are making love you know, crying crying about Betty that. So the Prophet Mohammed had his awesome says, Yeah, barrier. There was a Raja tea over the you know, why don't you go back to him? She says, Yeah, that sort of law. Are you ordering me? Are you ordering me to go back to him?

00:42:10 --> 00:42:11

He said no.

00:42:12 --> 00:42:51

in the manner as far as I'm only here entering as like a white thread between you two. Just trying to know to facilitate this and be in becoming between maybe to reconstitute between you two. She says that hydrotherapy is I don't want him. I don't want him. He used to love her. He loves her blind. The Prophet Muhammad knew that. And he came to talk to her right. But she said no love in itself. And that happened. Yeah, I mean, I mean, it can happen it is not haram but what you do your actions may can make it haram or

00:42:52 --> 00:43:25

you know, can make it halal or haram. So some people they said, Yes, I know. Maybe your father or my father, you know, in the past maybe the those pre arranged marriages, he never saw his wife until the day he married her. Right. And so that they he consummated that marriage with her that he saw his wife, there's so many people that you know that you know, that went through this so many, you know, and then what do our moms used to say a long time ago? He's to say, it's okay. My daughter love will come after marriage. Hmm. They say love will come after marriage.

00:43:27 --> 00:43:31

Yes, it may come after marriage. It may not come after the marriage.

00:43:32 --> 00:43:59

Or it may come after marriage. Yes. But it is okay. Do you know if you have that feeling towards that person and you manage those feelings they know so that you don't do anything head on but there's love there's feelings that are ready, you saw that person you spoke to that person, you know, you you you build those maybe you know sentiments with that person provided that they are always you know, no restrictions and there's always no those limits. There's nothing haram about it.

00:44:02 --> 00:44:11

You know, and then if that relationship ends in marriage a lot Well no, no, no, no, no. But if it ends up in not marriage

00:44:13 --> 00:44:17

it's all the color of Allah subhanho wa Taala and we have to accept the honor of Allah subhanho wa Taala.

00:44:20 --> 00:44:31

So I just wanted to quickly you know, mention that my brothers and sisters about with regard to love since we're talking about love, I mentioned something some time back sisters and brothers especially to the husbands

00:44:34 --> 00:44:45

and she's all about what to read the love all I'm talking about now is watering the love. One thing to do to water the love is look at your spouse with the eye of a hashmap with the eye of the bee

00:44:46 --> 00:44:58

the eye of the bee watering the love, look at your spouse with the eye of the bee. I mentioned this before. What does it mean the eye of the bee There are two types of eyes, the eye of the bee or the eye of the fly.

00:45:00 --> 00:45:10

Where'd you find them? Because you find them normally you know, but you know flowers they hang around flowers, plants beautiful things right? That's what you see normally bees flying around

00:45:13 --> 00:45:20

flies flies What do you see flies annoying and no Yeah, they're more you

00:45:24 --> 00:45:30

they don't want to leave you alone and leave me alone. You know if there is garbage trash,

00:45:32 --> 00:45:45

filthy areas, you see flys flys, flys flys? So I say sisters and brothers, look at your spouse with the eye of the bee, not the eye of the fly. The bee sees things beautiful.

00:45:46 --> 00:46:24

And what comes out from the bee is something beautiful. The Fly always will look at things in a in a bad way. You know, there's always problems. Just like you look at life, you can make your own happiness. But as the sisters, you can make your own happiness. As you come out from your home in the morning. You can choose to be happy or sad. Wah wah, wah wah, wah wah. Again, this is this is deep. I'm telling you something very, very deep. Yes. When you come out from your house in the morning, you get to choose, you want to be happy, or you want to be sad. How do you want to have that day you want to have a happy day or a sad day? It's your choice. Yes, things could happen

00:46:24 --> 00:46:49

always. But I chose to be happy today. I'm going to go on a walk. And I'm going to be smiling and thinking positive and thinking good. Because if you think good, you can attract good to you. If you think positive, you can attract that which is positive to you. If you think negative, that's what you can attract to you. So you make that choice. What do you want? What do you want, when you come out, you choose to be happy or you choose to be sad.

00:46:50 --> 00:47:02

You choose to look at the life with the eye of the bee or look at the life with the eye of the fly. Likewise, look at your wife, with the eye look at your spouse with the eye of a hammer with the eye of the bee.

00:47:03 --> 00:47:09

It's your choice. Because I mentioned this to you some time back if remember and I said you know,

00:47:11 --> 00:47:45

husband and the wife who are like 78 years old, you know, holding hands, he's looking at her. She's all crippled. She's all like Myskina she has no more teeth, except one tooth in the middle. Right? when she smiles and he's looking at her as well. You know, his eyes are all gonna run off. Right? Everything is done. And they looking and smiling at each other. He's looking at her smiling like she is the Miss Universe for him. She is the Miss Universe when he's looking at her is she actually the Miss Universe he is not looking at her with the eye of reality.

00:47:46 --> 00:47:51

Right? He's not looking at her with the eye of reality. He's looking at her with the eye of

00:47:53 --> 00:48:03

that's what water the love. All means it means water, the love water, the tree, water the flower, she will always be that flower for you.

00:48:05 --> 00:48:38

Some people they give that example you know she they say your life is like a car. Especially the atoms they say this. The atoms they say this they say your life is like a car. If you maintain your car, your car will drive and will not break and will not last for a long time. If you don't maintain your car and then your car will not last for a long time. Yeah, and he did comparing the wife with the car. It's a good analogy. Well, I don't like it. I don't know. What would you mean? Like in the wife with the car, you maintain the car. You mentioned the car mechanic he keeps breaking.

00:48:39 --> 00:48:48

So you keep mentioning your wife she would break to Malaysia and none of these save the wife is like a car. You take care of your car.

00:48:49 --> 00:48:57

You need to be there for you know Habibi look at each other with the eye of the B with the if not the eyes of reality.

00:48:59 --> 00:49:00

I mentioned this last week.

00:49:01 --> 00:49:03

I mentioned this last week

00:49:04 --> 00:49:22

when the Prophet Mohammed as I said, he says what I mean the believer, the believer, it looks at his wife, you know, if he hates he should not hate his wife. He said the believer should not detest his wife. If there is something in her that he dislikes, there would be something in her characteristics which he would like

00:49:23 --> 00:49:51

there is always excuse me badness or something that would upset you know, he says if there's something in her that he dislikes, there wouldn't be something in her that he would like so let no believer detest or hates his wife. You should not well Who is that? Which is perfect show me somebody who's perfect even James Bond. You guys said you want to be James Bond. Even james bond is not perfect. Even Iron Man is not perfect. Even Superman is not perfect.

00:49:52 --> 00:49:54

Except when evolution agenda.

00:49:55 --> 00:49:58

Yes, gender man is perfect. That agenda man. That's when you go to dinner.

00:50:00 --> 00:50:12

To infinity and beyond the gentleman, but nobody's perfect. Superman is not perfect. No Iron Man is not perfect. James Mamba, which you said you want your husband to look like he's not perfect.

00:50:13 --> 00:50:18

Shanahan is not perfect. No, wait. Shadow hunt is not perfect. So

00:50:19 --> 00:50:23

the cricketer guy is not perfect. Nobody is perfect.

00:50:24 --> 00:50:31

So she is not perfect either. Nobody is look at each other with the eye of mercy.

00:50:33 --> 00:50:36

Look at each other with the eye of mercy brothers and sisters.

00:50:39 --> 00:50:41

Another thing that will

00:50:42 --> 00:50:49

help you what are the love between husbands and wives? Ah, I like it like that. I hey, I'm the

00:50:50 --> 00:51:08

dragon. Who's the Red *. All right. Another thing that will help and shout out to her that I don't know if you guys are taking notes about this right? I'm gonna I'd like to mention one more thing right coming here is the another thing that will In short, Allahu taala

00:51:10 --> 00:51:15

help you order the love. Another thing that will help you order the love, right what it is

00:51:18 --> 00:51:19

listening to each other.

00:51:21 --> 00:51:30

Listening to each other will help water that love how listening sisters and brothers is a two way street.

00:51:31 --> 00:51:43

Listening is a two way street of Allah subhanho wa Taala Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, Allah subhana wa Tada, gave us one mouth and gave us two ears.

00:51:45 --> 00:51:47

And this mouth has a luck.

00:51:50 --> 00:51:54

This mouth has a lock, the ears have no luck.

00:52:00 --> 00:52:02

Allah gave us one mouth

00:52:03 --> 00:52:19

with the luck and gave us two ears. There's no luck listening, even in the parabola as those adventures summit in the summer. Those are always mentioned adventures hearing before anything else.

00:52:20 --> 00:52:21

Listening to one another.

00:52:22 --> 00:52:24

And listening is a skill.

00:52:25 --> 00:52:31

I teach this you know what I teach this, I teach this in my in my seminar about personal development.

00:52:32 --> 00:53:13

I mentioned this in my seminar, you know, and I teach this in my seminar about personal development, you know about you know, about team building, you know, about public speaking, listening skills, how to develop your listening skills, how to be a good listener, because we all talk like me now my blah, blah, blah, talk too much. Everybody loves to talk. But who are the people who like to listen. And if you look at leaders out there and successful leaders, they are mostly listeners more than talkers, successful leaders. So what are some of the tools that really will build your listening skills? Because I want to share this with you, you know, because here we're talking about watering

00:53:13 --> 00:53:13

the love.

00:53:15 --> 00:53:17

Why two ears and one mouth?

00:53:20 --> 00:53:24

Why why why why why why? Why listening? Why particularly listening?

00:53:26 --> 00:54:04

And how should you listen to one another? How should you listen to your spouse? When should you listen? And when should you talk? Right? When she comes when you come from work? Right? This is where the husbands out there, you know, and maybe your wife, she was home the whole day, right? And then right there, right there. Right? Now she's her time to talk. She heard time she wants to. And then maybe you've spoken too much, right? And you want you know, and you also want just to have some peace and you want some, some some some need some time off. But right there, she's you know, she's having another day. And then she wants somebody to talk to somebody to listen, we men, here's the

00:54:04 --> 00:54:18

problem with men problem with men, we tend all the ways to what whenever we have somebody, especially our wives talking to us, right? Or somebody talking to us, we think of finding solutions were made like this, Allah made us like this, right? We think of solutions.

00:54:19 --> 00:54:35

But your wife, she's not necessarily looking for the solution, because she already knows. She already knows what she wants. So now how can I build that skill? How can I listen? How? When can I talk and when can I listen?

00:54:37 --> 00:54:40

When can I have fun and when can I not have fun?

00:54:41 --> 00:54:44

When can I teach her and when Can she teach me

00:54:45 --> 00:54:47

who should teach the other?

00:54:50 --> 00:54:59

Because when we say you know when you know the what's his name, you know the seven habits. I don't know if you read that book, you know the Seven Habits of successful people.

00:55:00 --> 00:55:09

You know, the Franklin Covey series, The Seven Habits amazing. When he talks about listening and talking, he says, you know, talking is not this talking to and talking at.

00:55:12 --> 00:55:18

And then talking in a document, you know, he's talking about, you know, listening, and how can you develop that beautiful skill?

00:55:19 --> 00:55:24

Well, when can I have fun? When can I listen? When can I talk?

00:55:25 --> 00:55:27

When can I teach? When Can she teach me?

00:55:30 --> 00:55:36

When can I consult with him? Or with her? Why can I not when I don't have to consult with him or with her?

00:55:40 --> 00:55:48

And if something happens, that makes me so angry, how can I react? How can I react? What should I say? What should I do?

00:55:50 --> 00:55:53

And last but not least, is what I talked about the beating

00:55:54 --> 00:56:01

the beating, right? Yes. The beating so brothers and sisters, you know it right?

00:56:03 --> 00:56:09

You know it right? Don't you sisters and brothers? Don't you still talking about it? Huh?

00:56:11 --> 00:56:21

Huh? So shall I go on or what? Because I've got a lot of things here I want to tell you about you know, the skills on how to build your listening skills and when to talk and when to be quiet.

00:56:23 --> 00:56:25

Why two ears and one mouth.

00:56:27 --> 00:56:36

And when you somebody is talking to you, what should you do at that moment? Because a lot of people what they do when you're talking to them, they're rehearsing what to say, huh?

00:56:37 --> 00:56:39

They're rehearsing what to say

00:56:41 --> 00:56:42

isn't it?

00:56:43 --> 00:57:14

So brothers and sisters and Sharla who I think will stop right here. There's so many questions that I'd like to answer. I don't want to start with it with a you know, a question you know, answer half of it and then leave the other half until tomorrow. I might as well leave right now and come back to Mashallah who to answer all these questions be in the lab? answer all these questions inshallah. husana. Tomorrow, yes, you called it cliffhanger. It is a cliffhanger II inshallah hotel until tomorrow, where we're going to come back and shout Allahu Tada, and talk about

00:57:16 --> 00:57:18

talking about inshallah these

00:57:19 --> 00:57:30

you know, answer all these questions. Tomorrow will be what are the love part for imagine four sessions just talking about watering the love between husbands and wives?

00:57:32 --> 00:57:33

In Sharla

00:57:36 --> 00:57:46

Zakouma Lucha brothers and sisters know how long this is it you know, may Allah bless you all. I will wait until tomorrow shallow tada to answer all these questions. May Allah bless you.

00:57:47 --> 00:57:49

Zack como la fere Baraka la faecal,

00:57:50 --> 00:57:56

thank you so much for joining Sathya Han. Thank you for joining us. Thank you for joining

00:57:57 --> 00:58:21

nassima Zack lucky thank you for joining Nadia Nadeem. Mashallah, all of you. Thank you for joining us. And he said thank you for joining us. Thank you for joining me. Oh, come on, man. But I don't have no friends. Don't keep talking telling me these things. Right. I'd be really angry. You know, everybody's A's favorites here for me. I have no, I don't have favorites. You all are my favorites, inshallah. Tada. Thank you, Lola. Rob, thank you for joining. Oh, man, thank you for joining.

00:58:23 --> 00:58:26

Who else? manisa Thank you, Felicia. Mohammed. Thank you for joining

00:58:28 --> 00:58:57

Manasa Thank you, man who don't make him. Come on. Change that name. Yes, me. Thank you for joining Landa 86 Thank you for joining all of you guys about a coffee come sadya Thank you. Robin took him about a coffee come Thank you so much. mela bless you all. Alrighty, guys, we'll see you tomorrow. Sharla who Tara will see you tomorrow all by the coffee come again. Is that my hair Facebook. Thank you. May Allah bless you Facebook. Facebook is that Malachy Thank you

00:59:02 --> 00:59:28

Instagram is that Camilla share? May Allah bless you thank you for joining with you tomorrow same time you choose your own name by the measured you know don't just change that name is not nice it does it even the Prophet Mohammed whenever you used to used to see a name that's not good. You would change it you know, module is ignorance module is not known by you're not measured. So change it in Sharla. Alright, does that Kamala shabaka rafiqul Sara Monica robocut sorry.

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