Why Me #27 Will Allah Still Forgive Me

They say your life flashes before your eyes

when you have a near death experience.

And when you have an inkling that death

is at your door,

everything you've done wrong confronts you.

Scene

by scene by scene,

remember your sins?

How could you possibly be ready to

die? How could you meet your maker like

this?

Have you repented enough?

Will Allah ever forgive you?

Just as Allah made you more aware of

your health now,

He also made you more aware of your

sins so that you can repent for them

before you die, and then find them as

good deeds on the day of judgment. Look

how merciful Allah is that with these last

moments in your life,

as you see those final blessings go,

and as the pain is increased all expiating

your sins,

Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala shows you things from

your past so that you could seek forgiveness

now and then find them as hasanat on

your scrolls on the day of judgment.

How much hope should we have in Allah

Subh'anaHu Wa Ta A'la in these moments?

And Imam ibn Kathir Rahimullah Ta'ala comments on

a very famous example that we find in

our tradition.

There's this analogy that Ibn Al Qayyim Rahimullah

gave us that the believer has 2 wings,

the wing of hope and the wing of

fear.

How much hope should you have in Allah?

How much fear of Allah should you have?

And he says that the believer throughout their

life should have a little bit more fear

than hope

Because by having a little bit more fear

than hope, that means you're going to interrogate

yourself more. That means you're going to work

harder. That means you're going to work with

a greater sense of urgency.

But alhafudhamun kathir Rahimahu Allah said that as

you start to die, the wing of hope

should start to become higher than the wing

of fear

because at that point you can't do many

more deeds and you look to the mercy

of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala and you don't

despair.

You're in your bed

and your flashbacks could paralyze you from seeing

the forgiveness of Allah ahead

or the blessings he's still surrounding you with.

Remembering sins can be a blessing especially if

it motivates us to repent

and makes us hopeful in Allah's mercy.

But sometimes it can grip us with despair

that makes us doubtful if there's any hope

left for us at all.

The shaitan is going to try several things

at the time of your death.

One way he may try is to make

you heedless of Allah in your final moments

so that he can get you to utter

one displeasing word or die on one final

evil deed.

There's a famous story of Imam Ahmad Rahimullah

that when he was dying, he was saying

la laysabad,

no, not yet.

And his son asked him why he was

saying that as he was between life and

death. And he said, I saw Shaytan in

a dream and he was looking defeated.

And he said to me, Oh, Ahmad,

you've escaped me. I've never been able to

take you down. And Imam Ahmed Rahimullah said

that I told him no, not yet.

As in the battle with Shaytan lasts until

the very last moment that you have on

this earth.

But he may also try to get you

to despair from the mercy of Allah Subh'anaHu

Wa Ta A'la. The prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam

said that Shaytan challenged Allah

And he said, wa iszati kayarab

laabrahu

ughwiribadika

madamat arwahum fee alsadihim

By your glory, oh Allah, I will not

stop tempting your slaves so long as their

souls are in their bodies.

And Allah responds and he says, wa'izzati

wajalali

la azzalu akhiroollahu

mastakhfarooni

By my glory and majesty, I will continue

to forgive them so long as they ask

me for forgiveness.

So when shaitan tries to remind you of

your sins,

remember the mercy of Allah and the times

that you did repent in the past.

And if you find something you never did

make amends

for, do it now by making dua to

the one who wipes clear the scrolls.

Despair is always haram but especially now. Kulyaaibadiya

ladina asrafu a'laanfusihim

la taqonnatumir

Say, O my servants who have transgressed against

themselves

do not despair from the mercy of Allah.

Husna vanin Allah Having a good opinion of

Allah is always the best deed,

but especially now.

Jabir radiAllahu Anhu said, I heard the Prophet

SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam say 3 days before he

died. La yamutannaahadukum

illa wahuayarsinobannabbillah

Let not one of you die except with

a good opinion of Allah.

And as we reach the end of the

road and our ability to perform deeds becomes

less and less,

it's time to turn to Allah in hope

even if those deeds were imperfect.

Abu Abdurrahmanas Sunami said right before his death,

kifa laarju rabbi wakatsumtuthamaneen

Ramadan.

How could I not have hope in my

Lord and I have fasted for him 80

Ramadans?

We don't rely on our deeds or consider

them to be worthy in themselves.

But instead we focus on the mercy of

Allah that can turn the most deficient deed

into a deed that takes us to Jannah.

The Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam encountered a man

that was crying

out, wazhunoooba,

wazhunoooba.

Oh my sins, oh my sins.

And the prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam said to

him instead of saying, oh my sins, oh

my sins,

say Allahumma

maqfiratuka

ausa'uminzunobi

warahmatuka

arjaaindiminamani.

Oh Allah, your forgiveness is vaster than my

sins

and your mercy

is far more hopeful to me than my

deeds.

The man said it and the prophet SallAllahu

Alaihi Wasallam said repeat it again. So he

repeated it again.

And the prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam told him

to say it again and he said it

again. And the prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam said,

Qum fakadhuafarullah

hulaqq.

Now Allah has forgiven you.

The mercy of Allah is that great that

sometimes it's stunning and it's hard to comprehend.

And that's why when Mu'adh ibn Jabir radiAllahu

Anhu heard the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam say

that whoever says La illaha illallah will enter

Jannah. And in one narration, whoever says La

illahullaha will be forbidden from the fire.

Mu'adh radiAllahu Anhu said, Should I not go

tell the people You RasulAllah this is great

news?

Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam said, oh Ma'ad, let

the people act.

But at this point in your life,

this might be the only act you still

have left.

And it only takes one sincere utterance of

La Illahi Lalla to be forgiven for eternity.

And using your last breaths to say La

Illahi Lalla

is better than anything else that you could

be saying in these moments.

Reconnecting with that fitrah that you came into

this world with

and hoping to meet Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala

with those words while he is pleased with

you.

The mercy of Allah is so great that

Jibril Alayhi Salaam saw it necessary to stuff

sand into the mouth of Firaun

out of fear that he might just repent

and Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala would forgive him

as a result.

Repeat the words that Firaun couldn't bring himself

to say with sincerity

And Shaytan couldn't abide by due to his

pride.

Make du'a and read Quran.

Listen attentively to the people who taught you

about Allah as they say their prayers upon

you.

And to those you taught to read the

Quran

as they recite that word back to you.

And even as they make du'a for you

and you make du'a for yourself,

remember getting to Jannah was never about your

deeds.

No one enters paradise by their deeds. Not

even you, oh messenger of Allah, not even

me, until Allah embraces me in his mercy.

You have a Lord who loves to forgive

and He would have rather you an imperfect

sinner than a perfect angel.

The prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam said, If you

were to commit sins, Allah would have swept

you out of existence and replaced you by

another people who would sin

and then seek Allah's forgiveness

and Allah would forgive them.

Don't you say at the end of Ramadan,

Allahumma innakaafuwun

tuhibul afuafa'afu ani. Oh Allah, You are the

one who forgives and pardons.

You love to forgive so forgive me.

Well, as you come to the end of

your life,

let your fear of deficiency

drown in your hope in Allah's mercy.

Anas ibn Malik radiAllahu Anhu said that the

Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam entered the home of

a young man who was dying. And the

Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam asked him, kaifa tajiduk,

how are you feeling?

The young man responded and said, You Rasulullah

Arjullah

wa akhafudunubi.

I have hope in Allah but I fear

for my sins. The prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam

said then glad tidings because these two feelings

are never combined in the heart of a

servant in this situation

except that Allah will give him what he

hopes for

and save him from what he fears.

Let no sin reach such proportions in your

eyes that it cuts you off from having

a good opinion of Allah.

For indeed, whoever knows his Lord considers his

sin so insignificant

compared to his generosity.

Believe in the good you've deposited with Allah

for he has saved it for the moment

when you can no longer do any deeds.

If you love to meet Allah, then he

loves to meet you.

A'isha radiAllahu Anha said, But you Rasulullah we

all hate death.

He said, It's not that, O A'isha.

Once the believer is given the glad tidings

of Allah's forgiveness and pleasure,

he loves to meet Allah.

So long as you've done your best with

Allah and the people around you, and strive

to do good in this world, then your

inevitable sins will be overlooked.

And if you've done your best to prepare

for this moment,

then you can look forward to reuniting with

family members who have passed on before you,

whom you have always belonged.

whom you have always belonged.