Why Me #20 Why Is Everything Suddenly Falling Apart

Omar Suleiman

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The loss of a loved one can distort one's happiness and sadness, causing a sudden drop in life. The "will" that lasts for a long time is also distorted by the loss of something. Visits to the state of one's mind can lead to a state of relief, blending loss and suffering for happiness, and not allowing things to happen to anyone who is worthy of their award.

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Change is inevitable.

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We move through cycles of opposites,

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of happiness

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and sadness,

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of good and bad.

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But what does it mean when everything is

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suddenly falling apart?

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When you face the loss patiently, but are

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instead faced by regression in a domino effect.

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The chips of your life falling rapidly down

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one after another.

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What do you do when it feels like

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even the blessings you were grasping onto are

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now rapidly being snatched away?

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Why does it feel like Allah is taking

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away the little that was holding you together

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in the first place?

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I want you to imagine how the prophet

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Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam felt after the battle of

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Badr. Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala just gave you

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victory over your enemies in a miraculous way

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that everyone could see. He sends down angels

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and he particularly attributes that blessing of victory

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to your dua.

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And when you come home to Madinah,

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you have the ansar ready to receive you

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and they have more conviction now than ever.

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And then as you enter into Medina,

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you find out

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that while everyone is celebrating the great victory,

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your daughter Ruqayyah

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just passed away.

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And they used to call the day of

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Badr

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the day of great joy and the day

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of great sadness.

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Because as happy as the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi

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Wasallam was that Allah just gave him victory

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in Badr,

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Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta A'la took away his

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daughter Ruqayyah on the very same day.

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And that's usually how life

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is. You get a nirmah and then you

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get a test right after the nirmah to

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remind you that you're still in a place

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of test.

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Abdullah ibn Umar radiAllahu ta'ala Anhu narrates

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that of the duas that the Prophet SallAllahu

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Alaihi Wasallam would frequently make was this dua,

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Allahumma innni aoothubikaminzawari

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nermatik

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watahaawuliaafiatik

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wafujaati

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nikmatik

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wajameer

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isaqatik.

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Oh Allah,

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I seek refuge in you from the sudden

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decline of your blessings,

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and the sudden change from being in a

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state of well-being,

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and the suddenness of your vengeance,

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and from all forms of your wrath.

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Tests are throughout our lives, but they often

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tend to come in sudden bunches rather than

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these perfectly spaced out speed bumps.

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As regular as our prayers are throughout the

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day, our tests are completely unpredictable

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and unexplainable.

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We're taught to seek refuge in Allah Subhanahu

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Wa Ta'ala from Zawad al Ni'am,

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the sudden decline of blessings.

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That moment in your life where everything seems

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to be spinning into chaos.

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All of the tests are coming at once

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and you've lost so much that your mind

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doesn't even know what to process first.

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With the prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, this was

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the state of a'amulhuzun,

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the year of grief.

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The worst humiliation and Ta'af,

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the worst losses of the people he loved

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had to preach all happened in the exact

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same year.

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Meaning if you took all 23 years of

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his prophetic career,

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the worst manifestation of each trial seemed to

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all come in that one year. And that's

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why it's called the aamulhuzun,

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the year of grief.

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That's what the state of Zawal al Ni'am

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is. Now, if we find ourselves in the

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grips of Zawal al Ni'am and our whole

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world seems to be crumbling down, how do

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we reevaluate

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our approach to what's Sahib?

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We start by seeing this phase in our

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lives as there to either spark our repentance

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or elevate our rank.

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How do we reconcile this with the idea

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though that gratitude maintains blessings?

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There's the saying, anirmatu idashukiratkarwatwida

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kufirat

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farwat.

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Blessings stay with gratitude

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and they flee with ingratitude.

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But I was grateful and I saw those

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blessings flee away.

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Firstly, it may be that your gratitude held

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some of the blessings that were meant to

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otherwise flee

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or that your gratitude for those blessings caused

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them to be a means of goodness for

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you on the day of judgment as well.

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Because if you said Alhamdulillah for them when

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you had them, what Allah will give you

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for the praise on the day of judgment

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is greater than what you enjoyed of that

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blessing here.

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But Allah will test with sudden loss regardless.

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You don't have to lose yourself when that

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blessing is lost. And that's what's key. Compare

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when Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta A'la says walastrinal

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insanalafiqhus

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Verily man is in loss to when Allah

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says,

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ma'indakumyanfadwamaindallahi

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baqwala

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najaziyanal

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ladinasabaru

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ajaraum bi

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What you have will perish

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and what is with Allah is forever.

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And we will reward the patient with the

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best of what they used to do. In

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this case, you weren't lost. And the blessing

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of patience you were given will yield you

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far more pleasure than what you had before.

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Walanabuluwanakum

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bishayin minalkhawfiwaljuariwanakusim

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minal amwari walanfusiwathamaraatwabashirrisabireen

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And we will surely test you with something

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of fear and hunger and a loss of

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wealth and livelihood,

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but give glad tidings to the patients.

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Notice Allah didn't respond with how specific blessings

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remedy specific losses. He simply said, give glad

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tidings to the patient

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because I will make sure that the sudden

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losses are met with more than satisfactory gains.

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That's why the prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam said,

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wama o'uthiyahahaduna

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aataanhuakayru

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wa'awsa'oo minasadr

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And no one is given a better or

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vaster gift than patience.

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Imam Hassan Abbasi Rahimu Allah says, Asabruqanzun

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min konozil khayr

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Patience is a beautiful treasure of good. And

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Allah will only give it to someone who

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is worthy in his sight.

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And someone can say, I get that, but

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not now.

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It's often that we think we're not so

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upset with the loss of the blessing or

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the appearance of hardship,

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but it's the timing of it all.

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But in reality, are you sure it would

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have been better for Allah to spare you

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of that loss of a loved one in

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that moment?

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Are you sure if they lived longer, it

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would have been better for you or them?

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Are you sure that staying in that job

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for another year or 2 would have been

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better for you? When is a good time

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to suffer?

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And that's why Umar bin Abdul Aziz Rahimullah

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used to say, I have given up on

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ever trying to overcome the timing of Allah's

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decree.

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And I have sufficed myself with this dua.

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Allahummaraddhini

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biqaddaq

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wabaariklifiqaddarik

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hatta lauhibba

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ta'jeelashayin

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akhartahu

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walatakhira

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shayin ajaltahu

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Oh Allah, make me content with your providence

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and bless me in your decree

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such that I would not like to hasten

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what has been delayed

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nor delay what has been hastened.

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Rubbamaawaradathihthhulamu

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a'laika liuarifakaqadramannabihi

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alaikha.

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Perhaps he allowed darkness to engulf you so

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that you could recognize the tremendous blessings he

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was bestowing upon you.

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We're used to stories giving us a happy

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ending very quickly.

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It always shows up at the end of

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the movie.

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But the reality is that your test could

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last for a long period of your life.

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And the blessings you seek might not come

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to you in this realm of your existence.

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And it won't be easy.

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You'll struggle everyday.

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You might feel stuck in a state of

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perpetual grief, unable to lift yourself out of

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bed,

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or remember all the lessons you're supposed to

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have learned by now.

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You don't need to force yourself into happiness,

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instead resort to submission,

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and focus on your standing in his sight,

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from your plight.

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from your plight.