A Better Way To Stop Backbiting

Omar Suleiman


Channel: Omar Suleiman

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Subhanallah as we come through these verses, we come to the verses of about the Rama,

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the servants of the Most Merciful and the qualities of the servants of the Most Merciful May Allah subhanaw taala make us amongst those that embody these qualities of a battle Rama Lama, I mean Subhanallah there's one verse that I wanted to focus on, because it's one of those things that you ironically quickly move through what either monitorable been lovely Merle KERAMA when they come across idle speech, they pass through with dignity. Subhanallah very similar, by the way to what we hear about in the beginning of sorts and what we know and the previous description of the believers will Levina home and love we mourn alone, those who prohibits idle speech, they don't engage in idle

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speech. And here Allah subhanaw taala describes about the Rahman Alladhina schoon, idle the Hohner they're walking very peacefully on the earth not harming, not accepting harm and not harming and either Hapa Mohammed J. Luna cardhu Salama, someone comes to them aggressively, and they simply will just wanna be Martin Alaba. As a scholar, as mentioned, ignorance here is in the meaning of anger in the meaning of aggressiveness. So when people are aggressive towards them directly, they say Saddam may say we want no part of this. They keep moving, they keep it moving. But it's one thing when you are the recipient of it, but either not a rule but luckily not rule Kirana. When they come across a

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level when they come across false speech, idle speech, they move with dignity. Usually this is going to be when the subject is someone other than you. Someone else is being spoken about. And as most people will end up in hellfire because of their tongues. I pray that Ramadan is an opportunity for us inshallah Tata to purify our tongues as much as possible Allahumma Amin, and to let this tongue be that which is pleasing to Allah subhanaw taala and to say that which is pleasing to Allah, so that we accustom our tongues to saying good words, so much so that we find that a good word that we said in passing enters us into Jannah and not a bad word that we said in passing enters us into

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hellfire Allah made me so I wanted to talk about something very profound that I came across from an Imam Al Ghazali Rahim Allah to Allah and even Kodama Rahim Allah elaborates a bit on this, about this idea of actually being able to prohibit backbiting because there are stages there are levels. And I want to start from this premise here. The believer thinks before they speak.

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The hypocrite does not think before they speak in fact that Imam Hassan bossy Rahim Allah set the number one distinguisher between the movement and the monographic between a believer and a hypocrite is that the believers tongue is filtered by their hearts before they say anything, it's behind their heart, they consider whether or not this is appropriate and whether or not this will benefit them are harmed them, and then they speak through that. Whereas the hypocrite speaks first and then considers only if they find some sort of consequence in this life. So the very first basis here is an adjunct to Mina Shavon. hastiness is from the Shavon. If a person is very quick with their

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speech, they're going to make a lot of mistakes. And if a person talks too much, they're going to make a lot of mistakes. The last two minutes Shavon means the pace at which you speak, something comes up, and you say something very fast, and the prophets lie Selim said a person ends up in the depths of hellfire with a Kadima law you'll Kyla Bala, he didn't even think about it when he said it said it so quickly. So casually. He just quickly said it, or quickly typed it quickly commented so if you're accustomed to quick commentary, you're most likely going to fall in this and as a model the Allahu Anhu said, if you're accustomed to a lot of commentary, men Catholic Allahu Kathrada suck

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too. If you talk too much, you're going to end up making too many mistakes. And you're going to end up when Kathrada Sato Catherine denoble on Kathrada de novo Cannington. Now Olavi if a person makes too many mistakes, then their sins will pile up. And then if a person has too many sins, then Hellfire becomes a more likely destination for them. So if you talk too fast, and if you talk too much, you're likely to end up in trouble. So at the very minimum here, the believer has a process in which they think about what they're going to say before they say it. And especially when someone else's name gets mentioned. Why? Because if it's something sinful, that you say, that doesn't

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involve someone else, then the process of redemption. The process of Toba at the end of the day comes back to only you and Allah subhanaw taala. But once someone else's name was brought into it, then the process of Toba becomes a lot more complicated. Of course, there is a path to Toba, but it becomes more complicated it becomes more difficult because now you have someone else that is involved. And so the believer especially takes precaution when someone else isn't

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Name as mentioned, once someone else's name is mentioned, the believer puts another filter there. And Imam Al Ghazali Rahim Allah Tana, he was asked about how he himself because he was known. And this is one of the signs of the Salah when he was known that he wouldn't say anything bad about anybody. And by the way, Subhan Allah, if you look at the righteous, and may Allah make us amongst them, and you think about their secrets as Imam Malik Rahim, Allah used to say that every righteous person has a secret. Usually the secret is that that person does not back by that person will not say anything bad about anybody else. These are the secrets of the righteous people that meet Allah

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subhanaw taala their tongues remain free. So because I owe him a holla. He was he's asked about this and he kind of unravels this a bit. And he says, Well, the first thing he said, I don't mention anybody else's name, or I don't hear anyone mentioned, except that I imagined it to so water to who? John Allison Emami, except that I think of that person sitting in front of me before I say anything. That's the first, the first line of defense here for Backbiting is that libre has some cowardice to it, doesn't it? It's cowardly. Liba is cowardly, right that you say things about people when they're not there? And so the very first line of defense is if that person is present, would you still say

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it? So he said the first thing is to imagine that person sitting there with you. Would you still be able to say the same thing about that person if they were sitting at the table? Now someone might say, well, you know what, I would say it to their face.

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And they would praise that as a quality they call it straightforwardness. And all it is is straight shape on this. It just means that you have absolutely no height. You have no modesty, no shame and the prophets heights and I'm set either them to stay false, not much it? Do you have no shame, do what you want. So it just means you're a shameless person. Right that you would say I'd say it to their face, I would disrespect and disgrace that person to their face. That's not how the solder Hain think. So the very first thing is no way. If that person is sitting in front of me, would I say that, but he mentioned three levels. So that's the first level is to imagine that person right in

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front of you. And Ramadan is a time for us to be conscious of the things that we often don't take into consideration. As soon as someone has mentioned. Imagine that person is in the conversation. Imagine they're in the group. Imagine they're at the table, whatever you have to do put them in front of you before you say anything about them. And he says part of our Gohan Mouki Ron levy Laban inlanta. So water to who Johnny Sampha call to fee, ma you hippo and yes, schmuck. Locanda How will, he said a nun some people said some of the real amount the rightest once said

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that I don't say anything about anyone, except that I first imagined that person is sitting in front of me. For call to fee Ma, you have Bo? So I say about that person. What I know that person would love to be said about them. You mentioned some sayings from Ahmed, Pablo, the Allahu Taala animal. And by the way, Rama or the Allahu Anhu was a tough person, right? Tough in the good sense. He's a thoughtful, he's the one who distinguishes between truth and falsehood. And usually people that backbite are people that are aggressive towards others. They justify it by saying this is my nature. I'm the person of the house. I have to tell the truth. Right? How many times do you see our model

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the Allahu Anhu backbiting? After the prophets lie Selim one of the most narrated about companions in the top five of the narrated about companions to model the Allahu Anhu trashing anyone behind their back in the name of the Huck in the name of the truth? No. Amato, the Allahu Anhu actually says that when your brother is mentioned, call him only be a happy smile and he like the names that he loves to hear most about himself. What are the nicknames? What are the names that person likes? And with the best of qualities that that person likes to hear about themselves before you even say anything about them first call them by their best names and call them by their best qualities before

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you say anything about them and then say about them only what they would love to be said about them.

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A call to fee. Now you hipbone and Yes, ma'am. I say about that person after like they're sitting in the gathering, they're in the group what I know they would love to hear about themselves, if they were present. There's a third level. It's kind of like this one really struck me. It's a very powerful statement. He says, what kind of alpha Maluka Afeni Illa. So what are two Neff sci fi security he pulled to V he missed DOMA or hippo a new car. Luffy says such powerful words. And I hope I can deliver it because it's hard even just to really, I think immerse yourself in what these people are saying. One group said that I do not or if someone is mentioned in front of me. I don't

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say anything except to sell water to Neff. See, I imagined myself to be that person. And I don't

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Say except what I would love to be sad about me my UCOL who fear, what I'd love to be said about me. And this is the highest level of exam. This is the highest level of excellence. Why? Law, you know, I

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think you might have enough. See, no one of you believes and so he lost his brother when he lost himself, that you actually even put yourself in that situation. And say, if I was the subject, here's how I would love to be spoken about right now. And then that's what you say. Because that makes the other person almost irrelevant to how you carry yourself and your relationship with Allah subhanaw taala and your character and etiquettes you want them to be at a level to where they are and into interfere will cannot be, you know, diminished by any other presence.

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It's just you and Allah subhanaw taala. So as soon as someone else has mentioned,

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to so water to an FC, I put myself in that place, as if I'm the one being spoken about. And then I say about myself at that point, what I would love to be said about myself, but I would love to hear about myself, your brothers and sisters, we're living in a time where HYAH is being lost and always right shamelessness in our social morality seamlessness and dress shamelessness, and speech shamelessness and our the way we conduct our affairs shamelessness in the masjid shamelessness outside, there's a lot of lack of shame.

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And this is one of the ways that the etiquettes of your brother or sister should be taken into consideration. And you know what some of you are thinking, Well, look, I can't think that long before I say something, right? You know, like I'm going to conversation how much time am I going to take when a subject is brought up to actually sit there and think about it because you know, you know that burning feeling like something comes up on Whatsapp group, if I don't respond in the next 20 minutes La hawla wala Quwata illa Allah, the whole world is going to fall apart, the community is going to die. Yeoman kuleana will happen if I don't respond right now. I have to I have to say

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something right now. No, you know what, slow down, slow down. Take a step back. Man counting up, we'll be lucky William and Arthur, failure will hire only as much.

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And if you have nothing good to say, don't say anything at all, until you can think of something good to say. And if it's a subject that needs to be deliberated, and something needs to be spoken about, then disconnect the person's honor from that subject. So much so that you would not be disgracing them in any way whatsoever. As you speak about the subject. That person that's sitting next to you right now is sacred. And that person that's not sitting next to you, but that shares that bond of dialogue, Allah Muhammad Rasul Allah, even if you don't even meet them, if you never meet them in your entire life, know that their honor is more sacred than the cap. Their honor is

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more sacred than the Kaaba, the direction of our Qibla. And so that person next to you that you may have just met, they have that right upon you. So think of those three levels Number one,

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first and foremost, imagine that person sitting with you. Would you still say number two, imagine that person sitting and what they would like to hear if they were sitting there. Number three, and this is the best method. This is the people of exon May Allah make us amongst other people of excellence. Imagine if you were the subject being spoken about what would you love to hear and then let that guide your speech may Allah subhanaw taala purify our speech, purify our eyes, purify our hearing, and more than anything else, purify our hearts alum I mean, does that come alongside us and I want to come on time to come