Sabr Is Control Over Actions Not Emotion

Nouman Ali Khan


Channel: Nouman Ali Khan

File Size: 16.71MB

Episode Notes

In this talk Br. Nouman explains the importance of implementing Sabr/Patience when things get hard/difficult and not to loose ones self due to emotions or to let our emotions get the better of us.

Share Page

Transcript ©

AI generated text may display inaccurate or offensive information that doesn’t represent Muslim Central's views. Thus,no part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever.

00:00:01--> 00:00:02


00:00:15--> 00:00:15


00:00:19--> 00:00:32

handling lillahi Rabbil alameen wa salatu wa salam O Allah shortfill Mb it will mursaleen rather early. He was a minister Nebuchadnezzar he didn't Allahumma giandomenico Amina Amina Muhammad Ali heard whatever So Bill helped

00:00:33--> 00:00:34

me narrow but it means

00:00:35--> 00:01:00

to be let him initiate on over Jim. First Guney kkoma surely will attack feronia you have lived in a monastery noticeably was sada in the La savarin. Rubbish roughly, suddenly we assume the Emily What? Luca tambien? Listen, if only I mean, yeah, but I mean from what I'm about. So I was informed that I will be addressing all of you, I was told there were 500 of you, that was a filthy lie.

00:01:02--> 00:01:25

And then I was told that it's actually going to be some kind of a casual conversation. And then I was told it was going to be me addressing you on the way here. And then they asked me, What is the topic and I said, I don't know. And when we pulled in here, their cars parked all the way to I don't know where. And I told the fellows that were driving with me, I better figure out what I'm going to talk about, because

00:01:26--> 00:01:50

there's some serious expectation. First of all, I'd like to express how grateful I am to have this opportunity to address not only all of you, but to come to this wonderful country. And this this incredibly beautiful city. So far, I got here yesterday around Easter time. And from then until now, I'm completely blown away. I'm just I'm absolutely blown away. And there's no way I'm, if Allah wills, I am absolutely coming back here in shallow Tada.

00:01:52--> 00:02:35

I mean, I mean, so that's the first thing. The second thing is just knowing that my mother's and my daughters, my sisters have filled the masala on a weekly basis. The main masala of the masjid gives me so much joy. It makes me so happy that that is the case here. Because there are so many parts of the oma where our mothers and our daughters are denied their basic access to the house of Allah. And that's a tragedy. I think it's one of the great calamities of the oma. And to see that here is actually inspirational, as something that I will take back and I can argue with you I can share with you that even Muslims living in western countries don't have this kind of thinking yet. So you're

00:02:35--> 00:03:11

actually ahead of us and we need to learn from you. And that's something that's an inspiration I'll take back with me and share with the community that I come from inshallah Tada, and Milla continue to strengthen that and get make this not only a source of inspiration for all of you, I would personally argue These are my own convictions. And I'm not saying this because I'm addressing, you know, my mothers and my daughters today, I'm, I'm saying this very directly and very openly to all of you. I personally believe that if we don't invest in to communicate to populations, children's education and women's education, if we don't invest in these two, then there is no future for this

00:03:11--> 00:03:22

woman. There is no future for this because that those are the two entities that ensure the future for the oma, the thing about men is that they can get some really good sleep during a dose of

00:03:23--> 00:03:41

a hot bath. And, and even when they don't, what they what they learn more often than not stays with them. The thing about women is that it doesn't stay with them, it can actually get pretty annoying because it never stays with them. And they, they have to share it and they have to, you know,

00:03:42--> 00:03:54

part, you know, impart what they've learned, etc. Right. So, and we'll talk about that a little bit today. And I did want to cater the message I want to share with you specific to my sisters, my daughters, my mother's today inshallah huhtala.

00:03:55--> 00:04:34

But the other thing that I really want to just share with you is about children and children's education, because 15 years from now, those are the adults that make up the oma. So when we're investing in our children's education, we're investing in what the oma looks like 1015 years from now, that's what we're actually doing. And that's not a very distant future, that's actually just around the corner. Those same children that are running around making noise in the machine today are going to be running these masajid if Allah wills not too long from now, and the people that are right now funding and supporting all of our institutions, helping us build and maintain the massage

00:04:34--> 00:05:00

data and the modalities, those people are going to be gone or retired or not in a position to support and that new generation of people is going to be there and they're going to determine what is it that we should be investing in? What is it that we should be supporting? So we're actually investing in our own future when we do that when we invest in our mothers and our children and May Allah make you like really a striking example for the rest of the oma of how that is

00:05:00--> 00:05:42

To be done in Sharla huhtala, what I wanted to share with you today, just a few reflections from the Quran, about the subject of sobor. It's something that's been on my mind for a few months now, because many of you know and a lot of you might not know, a couple of years ago, I decided to begin my study of the Quran all over again. And with no assumptions, I decided to become a student of the Quran as though I've never studied it before. And instead of drawing upon knowledge or things that I had heard before, I wanted to come to those conclusions on my own originally. And that journey has led me to in very different directions. And one of those directions is actually a lot of the things

00:05:42--> 00:06:22

that I heard growing up about Islam, about a lot about the Koran, you know about concepts like even suburb, I started challenging what I heard. And I came to discover that I don't actually agree with a lot of things I heard originally, and that Allah is Allah, his book is telling me something else. And what I heard oftentimes from my elders and my teachers was something else. And I decided to be courageous enough to disagree with what I heard, and try to find real conviction in Allah's words in the in the teachings of our messenger, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. So I wanted to share something new that I learned about sobor with you, that I didn't hear before myself and then that, that when I

00:06:22--> 00:07:02

did come to those realizations, I felt like millions of people around the world need to hear this or need to know what Allah is saying. So I want to start first of all with something you might know, Musa alayhis salam was the messenger sent with multiple missions. his earliest mission was to challenge the pharaoh Pharaoh, and to rescue the children of Israel from the clutches of the Pharaoh. And of course, Allah gave him victory over fit, Arlen and they were able to cross the water, and now they're in the desert. But I want you to understand the population of Muslims that was with him. They weren't the Muslims of that time. The Israelites are the Muslims of that time.

00:07:02--> 00:07:42

They were the oma. That's why they're talking about so much in the Quran. Because they are the previous believing oma, they are an example for us, Musa alayhis salam is now with them in the desert, they have no shelter above their heads, they have no food access there, there are hundreds of 1000s of them. And I want you to understand what they came from many of them are parents whose babies were slaughtered in front of their eyes, you know, that right? Their children was slaughtered in front of their eyes. And those grieving parents are among his population. Many of them are those who have lived a life of straight slavery, humiliation degradation on a daily basis. That's what

00:07:42--> 00:08:24

they dealt with. These are people what I'm trying to get at is these are people with very deep scars. They're not just a normal population of people that moved from one location to another location. These are people that lived a long time under very, very serious depression. And that depression reached the inside of their homes, it reached to the point where nothing can be more grieving than the loss of a child, and add to that exponentially more the murder of a child and add to that far more the murder of a child in front of your own eyes. And then add to that you can't even respond, you can't even react. And for that to happen on such a massive scale, under the

00:08:24--> 00:08:51

tyranny of fit, you know, you don't be hoonah I'm not a home when you're stuck union is a home for them to mass slaughter their children in front of their eyes, and let their women live. Why so they could have more children. That's why they left the women live. So they could have more children because they still needed a slave population. So the women were considered factories for building the next generation of slaves. That's what it was. They come from that background, and now they are in the desert.

00:08:53--> 00:09:37

And in the desert it Yes, they weren't. They were slaves, and now they're free, but they're also dehydrated and starving, and homeless. So they're in a pretty bad place. But interestingly enough, this is not the first time, Moosa has escaped Egypt. Musa alayhis salam, this is the second time he's escaped Egypt. The first time he escaped Egypt, he also ended up in a desert. The first time he escaped Egypt, they were also thirsty for his blood. So this is the second experience for Mossad a serum. So now Musa al Islam has to give them a speech. It's like a football, you can say in solar off a piece of that homebuyers recorded. He's going to take all this gathering of grieving people

00:09:37--> 00:09:46

that have just and have gone through a very traumatic experience. And he's going to give them a lecture. I would imagine that lecture is going to be about suburb.

00:09:48--> 00:09:59

That's what I would imagine because he will say tell them to be patient, to you know, to stay strong, regardless of whatever has happened to them, etc. What does musallam say to them? What is the other Nabucco

00:10:00--> 00:10:02

In shachar, Toma zedan accom.

00:10:03--> 00:10:07

When your master declared to you if you're grateful if you were to be grateful at all,

00:10:08--> 00:10:17

Allah has declared for you that I swear to it, I will absolutely absolutely absolutely increase for you, increase for you and increase for you.

00:10:18--> 00:10:22

There was no mention of patience. There was mention of gratitude.

00:10:23--> 00:10:43

What do you want these people to be grateful for? These are people that lost their children. These are people that lost their homes, these are people that are burning in the middle of the desert. These are people that have every problem imaginable in front of them, and nothing good happening before them. The only thing good that just happened is fair rounds, not gonna kill them. But now the desert will.

00:10:44--> 00:11:25

That would have been a quick death, this is going to be a slow and painful death. That's the only difference. Why should they be grateful? This is the worldview of the fraud. problems around you are so many you can't even begin to you can't even stop listing them. If somebody were to open up and say, here's what I'm going through a lot of us keep our problems to ourselves, we don't open up to others about what challenges we have in our life. Every single one of us has a number of trials in our life, not one. And, and many of them keep us awake at night. Many of them have to do with our family, many of them have to do with our personal selves. Many of them have to do with career or job

00:11:25--> 00:11:43

or money or something, there's so many problems, and you're surrounded by them. And there's no hope around you, you're in the desert. You're in the middle of a desert. And Allah says, I'd like to help you with your problem. I'd like to pull you out of this problem and give you more and more and more and more.

00:11:44--> 00:11:50

Okay, yeah, I would love to get some help. Here's what I want you to do. I want you to be what

00:11:51--> 00:12:04

grateful, I want you to be grateful a liasing, you just show me the least bit of gratitude. It's the maldi that's using the ayah to suggest the least bit of gratitude. If you are able to demonstrate that

00:12:05--> 00:12:23

then the rest Allah will take care of he will increase you and he didn't say increase us in what it could have been the verb zyada in the Arabic language is considered an ambiguous verb, what that means in simple languages. When you say increase, it's not clear. If I say hey, I increased you

00:12:24--> 00:13:08

increased me in what problems? What did you increase me in blood pressure? You know, what, what did you increase me in you? It's not clear. I have to say, I increased you in wealth, I increased you in stress, I increased you in something. You know, Allah doesn't say what he will increase for you. He just says I'll increase you. I swear to it, I'll increase you. Why? Because any one answer would be good for one group of people and not for another group of people. And you don't need increase in one thing, you need increase in a lot of things. You need increase in patience, but you also need increase in risk. You need increase in in safety and security, you need increase in peace and

00:13:08--> 00:13:53

tranquility, you need an increase in lots of things. So by not mentioning what he will increase us in, he actually promised us all kinds of increase, as though what he will enhance for us is beyond words. You know, so long as he does not come? I'll absolutely enhance for you. So the first thing I want to share with you is that no Korans own remedy for affliction for difficulty. When we are in a very bad place in life, then you have to really like go through the empty shelves in your mind and find the things that you must be grateful for, and hold on to them, and remind yourselves of them. And when you can remember them, then Allah will start taking care of the other things that are

00:13:53--> 00:13:53

overwhelming you

00:13:54--> 00:14:12

this is actually a formula of the Quran. And you know, people sometimes when you're going through a difficulty people come and tell you, yeah, yeah, no, I know, this was bad. I know the operation is difficult. I know that this one passed away. But you know, 100 love, be grateful. And at that time, you say, Excuse me,

00:14:13--> 00:14:38

easy for you to say. You're not going through it. You see what I'm saying? Because they're not going through the pain you're going through. So you feel like they're talking to you like they expect you to turn into an angel and you're not entitled to your emotions. And it backfires. It actually makes you upset. I don't want to hear a lecture about be grateful. Please leave that to some you know. But when you meet someone who's gone through the same kind of pain,

00:14:39--> 00:14:46

when you meet someone who's also suffered loss, and then you find that they're telling you to be grateful. It's something else, isn't it?

00:14:47--> 00:14:59

That's a different kind of message. It's not coming from someone who's just quoting something insensitively they've actually lived through it, and then they're seeing it. And so Moosa and ASAP

00:15:00--> 00:15:23

has lived through this experience. So he's not just giving them this in theory. He's been exiled before. He's been persecuted before he's seen death in the middle of a desert before. He's had a broken back to the point where he says I'll be in neelima and delta lie and hide him before he's been there before. And from that place he says, you know if you can just be grateful, then Allah will increase that as he then Naco

00:15:24--> 00:16:06

Allah azza wa jal will say about this nation that was supposed to be become non existent in the pages of history, the Israelites, they were supposed to just die in that desert, and nobody will even know they ever existed. And Allah says, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah mean we chose these people over all other nations of the world, Allah gave them an empire that was bigger than the pharaoh himself. Allah gave them governance in the world that was never imagined before. Allah gave them prophet after prophet after prophet who had, you know, miracles that are beyond description. And actually the most mentioned prophets in the Quran, or the Israelite prophets, Allah increase

00:16:06--> 00:16:38

them in this dunya. And in the Torah, in so many ways, in so many opportunities, of course, they didn't take advantage of those opportunities. That's a separate story. But let's come back to ourselves. Allah azza wa jal has given us a message of support also. And this talk wasn't about gratitude. It was about patience, it was supposed to be about Subbu. But the first foundation of it that I wanted to lay for myself and for all of you, if you cannot, if I cannot find in myself, reasons to be grateful, patience is impossible.

00:16:40--> 00:16:54

It's impossible. There is no way you will have patience in your life, if you don't have what first? gratitude. If you don't have gratitude, patience is out of the question. I hope that much is clear. Now, let's talk about patience itself.

00:16:55--> 00:17:02

I won't give you a lecture on patients are lonely, tell you some things that I learned that are new about patients like I was sharing with you before.

00:17:04--> 00:17:05

When somebody passes away,

00:17:07--> 00:17:11

and the mother or the child or the spouse is crying,

00:17:12--> 00:17:40

and they're overwhelmed, and they're not eating, and they're not talking, and they're by themselves, and no matter how much you try to cheer them up, they're still in tears. And no matter how much you try to take them out, or change them, you know, maybe maybe get their mind off of what's happened or something and they just can't let it go. And they find themselves crying over and over and over again, then it's a natural tendency for a lot of us to go to those people and say, you know, really, you should have Southern

00:17:42--> 00:17:43

Why don't you have supper.

00:17:45--> 00:18:04

And I will tell you this is a very common thing that we do in the oma when people are experiencing a traumatic situation. It's easy for us to and when they react and when they have emotions, we tend to say to them, I wish you had more what something like this is the the advice we give to each other.

00:18:05--> 00:18:10

And I find a lot of times that advice is actually not based on a large book.

00:18:11--> 00:18:27

First of all, instead of giving them a lecture on Southern Allah highlighted what sugar gratitude that's first. Second of all, what I'd like to highlight to you is the case study of yaku Bala his Salaam

00:18:29--> 00:18:40

jacoba. Salaam lost his child for a very long time and losing a child at least you know, the child died and there was a janazah for the child there's closure The case is closed.

00:18:42--> 00:19:08

At least the child is in the hands of Allah. The child is in a better place. There's something that gives you comfort. In the case of yaku Bala Salaam does he know that the child has died? He has no idea what's happened with his child. He doesn't know if he's alive. If he's hungry, if he's scared, if he's in pain, if he's injured, if he's bleeding, if he's being oppressed. If he's being hurt by somebody, he doesn't know anything

00:19:09--> 00:19:44

that can drive any sane person insane. to not know what's going on with your child. That kind of pain is indescribable. It's indescribable. And of course his first reaction when he heard the news that he won't be seeing his child again, was for sovereign Jamil. The only beauty left now in my life is patience. That's all I can do. Because the beautiful child is gone. So the only beauty left now is patience. But you notice years go by and what do his son say about him?

00:19:45--> 00:19:48

The light after Buddha's guru so

00:19:49--> 00:19:52

we swear to God, are you going to keep remembering Yusuf?

00:19:53--> 00:19:59

Are you going to keep missing him like he just we just lost him yesterday. It's been years get over it already old man.

00:20:01--> 00:20:10

They were frustrated with their father, because their father would not get over it. And as a matter of fact, many of you know he cried so much that what happened,

00:20:11--> 00:20:16

he lost his eyesight. The Quran doesn't give him a lecture on Sabbath.

00:20:18--> 00:20:21

The Quran doesn't care, don't cry. You need to be patient.

00:20:23--> 00:20:39

And this is the man who himself said, I am going to be what vision I'm going to have. Those are his words. He's a chronic. He's the role model example for what does it mean to live a life of sobriety? Because it's one thing that you go through a trauma for a day,

00:20:40--> 00:21:01

or you go through a trauma for a month, it's another to experience that trauma every single day, not knowing for years and years and years and not know, that's a different kind of trauma. And this man face their trauma, and he cried, and he lost his eyesight. And yet, the Quran is saying this was a man of suffer.

00:21:03--> 00:21:04

What am I trying to get at?

00:21:06--> 00:21:20

We're allowed to express our emotions. It's okay to cry. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to be deeply, deeply saddened because of what happened. That doesn't mean you don't have suffered. That just means you're a human being

00:21:22--> 00:22:07

suffering something else, we make it into something else. Let me try to be very clear. It is almost as though we say that summer means that you are not allowed to have these emotions. Or you must hold these emotions back completely. Because if you have these feelings, and you have the sadness, that means you must not have suffered. That's not what Southern is Southern, actually, is that even though you're sad, even though you're scared, even though you're angry, even though any of those emotions are there and they're valid, you still did not cross the line, you still didn't become ungrateful, you still didn't disobey Allah, you still didn't say the wrong thing. When you're very

00:22:07--> 00:22:09

angry, it's too easy to use bad words.

00:22:10--> 00:22:33

Summer means not that you're not angry anymore. Suffering means you were able to not use those words. You You're allowed those emotions, but you channel them in a healthy way. you express your anger in a more articulate way in a more decent weigh. The same thing with your sadness, the weight, the same thing with your fear. When these emotions take hold of you, it's too easy to disobey Allah.

00:22:34--> 00:23:15

It's too easy to become ungrateful to Allah. It's too easy to deny the teachings of the deen, for example, people say the worst things when they're upset. They say the most horrible things when they're angry summer would mean you're still upset what you still held your tongue. Actually the original meaning of the word saw, but I was just looking it up on my way here again, is how bizarre is to hold something back. It's to control something. And it's probably teaching a subconscious control, but it's not control over your emotions. It's control over the actions, that the emotions are valid the actions are that we have which we have to control and crying, being sad being upset is

00:23:15--> 00:23:35

not one of them. Now, why do I feel so compelled to share this with you, because I consider it a form of oppression that we take people that have have you know lashed out, people that have become upset people that have become sad, and we make them feel like now not only are they emotionally out of place, they've got a spiritual problem too.

00:23:37--> 00:23:54

They don't have a spiritual problem. Don't accuse them of having a lack of emotion or a lack of suburb. They don't have a lack of suburb. And so I gave you one example of sadness. I'd like to give you one quick example of anger is actually my favorite example. I'll be talking about it tomorrow night at length.

00:23:56--> 00:24:17

I shadow the Allahu taala on her was accused of wrongdoing. The one of the worst humiliating, you know, scandals a Muslim woman can ever go through our mother went through, right? No woman here can imagine those kinds of horrible things being said about her. Not to mention an entire city of people are talking about it. Not to mention that.

00:24:18--> 00:24:55

And at the end of it all, I'll give you the riddle, but I won't give you the answer today at the end of it all, but a pseudo la sallallahu alayhi salam came and sat next to her and said if you're guilty, admitted and Allah will forgive basically. And if you're innocent, that level prove you're innocent. She had been crying for almost three consecutive days by them. Those who love him and sat next to her saw them and it's been a month that the Prophet didn't even sit next to her. This was after a month the first time it was horrible. I sat next to her so I was alone. When I'm here this nd Mandoki llama kill since the word had begun. He had not sat next to me. She says when he sat next

00:24:55--> 00:24:59

door he said if you're guilty and if you're innocent two options. If you're in

00:25:00--> 00:25:03

Innocent love will prove you're innocent if you're guilty admitted and a level forgive.

00:25:05--> 00:25:09

She had been crying for how long What did I say? So what what emotion is that?

00:25:10--> 00:25:21

sadness? But she says the moment he said it kalasa de Marie, my tears dried up, had died out what is swimming? Whoa, Katara I couldn't feel a single drop.

00:25:22--> 00:25:24

The tears are gone. What did you see?

00:25:26--> 00:25:27

What do you mean if

00:25:29--> 00:25:36

my own husband telling me if I'm innocent? If I'm guilty? What are you trying to say?

00:25:37--> 00:25:42

That sadness turned into what? anger? anger at Who?

00:25:47--> 00:25:50

and her mother and her father were sitting next to her.

00:25:51--> 00:25:54

And she told her dad answer him.

00:25:55--> 00:26:01

He said I don't know what to say. She told her mom a GB answer him. She says I love Allahu la

00:26:03--> 00:26:27

Li rasulillah I don't know I swear to God, I don't know what to say. And then she's even more mad. She was already mad at was little law. So I said I'm not who she angry at her parents. Now, Koran will tell us if you raise your voice to the Messenger of Allah La, la sua taco focus. Don't raise your voice to the voice of the messengers. Listen, because if you do what happens

00:26:29--> 00:26:30

and tap

00:26:31--> 00:26:42

into that issue, Sharon, all your good deeds are taken away. All your good deeds are taken away if you simply want. Raise your voice tell us who the velocities of them. Quran also tells us that Hakuna Houma. ofin

00:26:43--> 00:27:02

Houma Wakanda, Houma, Colin Karima, don't talk to your parents don't even let them see a sign of frustration on your forehead. And whenever you speak to them, don't scold them, and speak to them in a dignified fashion. So there are three people in front of her her mother, her father and the Messenger of Allah and the three people Quran says You better watch how you speak in front of them.

00:27:03--> 00:27:12

Those three people are in front of her and she's experiencing what emotion? anger? Oh, when you read this part of the Hadith in Bukhari, when I first read it, I said,

00:27:16--> 00:27:20

No way, no way. I gotta read that again.

00:27:22--> 00:27:25

She yelled at all three of them.

00:27:26--> 00:27:30

And she says she quoted the Quran, to the Prophet.

00:27:32--> 00:27:44

And she says, I didn't even know much Quran, but I said, You people remind me, you remind me of the story of uses. And I'll have to say to you what the father of use of self sovereign jelly.

00:27:45--> 00:27:57

I have to have beautiful patience. She's angry. She's scolding three people which the you know, now, and she says, This is my wife. This is my patience.

00:28:00--> 00:28:25

And by the way, she compared what they're saying. And she basically said, You people believe this filthy lie against me. You won't even believe what I say. None of this is true. She's speaking out of anger. They don't believe it. But she says you people believe it. You people accuse me. You people don't trust me. That's what she that's how she spoke to them. And she quoted us by the way, when she says you remind me of what the father of us have had to say. Who is she comparing them to?

00:28:26--> 00:28:27

Did you think about that?

00:28:29--> 00:28:36

If she's gonna say sovereign Jamil, they're being compared with the brothers of us of who came forward with a lie.

00:28:38--> 00:28:39

This is what she did.

00:28:40--> 00:28:59

No idea of the Quran came down Watch your mouth. You better take back what you just said. You don't quote Koran like that to the Messenger of Allah. He received the Quran, you know, Quran lecture him. You don't talk to your parents that way. No, IR came down about her outburst? Nothing.

00:29:00--> 00:29:02

And she wasn't even done.

00:29:05--> 00:29:11

When she gave that speech, she turned her back and lie down as if to say I'm done talking to you.

00:29:13--> 00:29:15

Wow, Mom,

00:29:16--> 00:29:17

when she's our Mother,

00:29:20--> 00:29:25

what are we learning from this? The question is, if this happened in your home,

00:29:26--> 00:29:33

a daughter in the house got accused of something or the other humiliating accusation and she had an outburst.

00:29:34--> 00:29:36

And her husband will say you need to watch it.

00:29:37--> 00:29:48

You can't speak to them your parents that way or my parents that way. You shouldn't speak to your husband this way. You need to have Southern what kind of Islam Do you follow a strict federal law you raise your voice like wouldn't you get that lecture?

00:29:49--> 00:30:00

First one to get that lecture should have been Who? Our mother and when we did come the IR did not come to give a case against her the

00:30:00--> 00:30:02

tannery art came to defender

00:30:03--> 00:30:07

10 out came to defend her. Love the Allahu taala on her.

00:30:08--> 00:30:42

It's okay if when a woman's dignity is questioned, when a woman's chastity is questioned, and she can't take it and she has an outburst. That doesn't mean she doesn't have silver, that means she's as normal as I shall be a lot more on how our religion does not expect us to become angels. It acknowledges that Allah made us human beings, our emotions, we're entitled to them. This by the way, what I just shared with you, please do not use this at home, to turn into the Incredible Hulk and your family and say, no model, he gave a speech and now I'm gonna.

00:30:45--> 00:31:24

But I do speak on behalf of people that are emotionally and psychologically oppressed in their homes. And then they are told when they have emotions, that they have a spiritual problem, they do not have a spiritual problem. Our religion does not teach that that is not something that is a false definition of suburb that has made its way into our conversations, and has created a lot of oppression in my opinion. It's just created a lot of oppression. And so every chance I get, I try to revitalize and share this message again. Because it is something I feel that we need we are it's okay for you to be sad, it's okay for you to be angry for legitimate reasons. It's okay for you to

00:31:24--> 00:31:45

even have an outburst. You're not going to go to hell because you late raise your voice. You're not relax. Don't be so hard on yourself, people around you are very quick to send you to hell. They're very quick to send you to hell alone will ask you about this. You have done that other than a while really because the revelation came to you to let you know how her interrogation is going to go.

00:31:47--> 00:32:07

calmed, don't pass judgment on people. And don't be a harsh judge on yourself a lot as our gel is merciful. And you know, the last thing I'll share with you about our mother I shadow the law on this and I'm done. I'm absolutely done. is a she shared this story many years later. She could have skipped this part.

00:32:08--> 00:32:11

She could have not told us that she did that.

00:32:12--> 00:32:20

Right because it's embarrassing. She raised her voice to her parents she raised her voice to the Prophet of Allah says that, um, she quoted the whole thing word by word by word by word by word.

00:32:22--> 00:32:25

And when she quoted it, I was expecting her to say and I feel really bad about that.

00:32:26--> 00:32:28

I regret that I did that.

00:32:30--> 00:32:30

She didn't.

00:32:32--> 00:32:56

She said no such thing. Oh my god. Allahu anhu. One time raised his voice to the Prophet size of them and put a via that happened. Did you regret it later? Oh, yeah. I mean, he literally said, Tell my mother. Somebody told my mother her son is doomed. Her son is as good as dead. I mean, he was devastated. Our mother I shall de la hora is not devastated.

00:32:57--> 00:33:07

Why not? Because and she has a very clear understanding of this Dean. And she honors our messenger they thought was so dumb, but she understands she did not cross a single line.

00:33:08--> 00:33:23

She didn't do something wrong. As a matter of fact, to the contrary, she says, Well, I shut nifi nuptse kana Carmen Ania takala mala who fear the unrenewed la familia Nutella. She says I used to think I wasn't worth what I'm coming down for me.

00:33:25--> 00:33:28

But it did, which means I am worth it basically, is what she's saying.

00:33:29--> 00:34:10

So she's folk. She wasn't hard on herself. Don't be hard on yourself. Be like your mother Ayesha. Stop beating yourself up. Stop condemning yourself. Stop living a life of guilt constant constant constant guilt. A lot forgives. Make a stepfather if you've made a mistake and move on with your life. Don't let that guilt overshadow everything you do. It will ruin not just you it will ruin the people around you. You're not going to be able to have normal relationships. If you live in that kind of guilt. You know, you won't just be sorrel yourself, you'll become a source of sorrow for people around you don't do that. Become a person of gratitude Allah has given us in this life, Allah

00:34:10--> 00:34:46

has given us a chance to make up for our mistakes. This is why we're still alive. If your chance was over, you wouldn't be alive anymore. The fact that he gave you another breath another another chance is because he still has the door open for you. He still has love and mercy for you. If you considered your case closed, then we'd be doing your janazah right now. That's just the fact of it. May Allah azza wa jal helped us really internalize the inspiring, beautiful message of his book. And that become more judgmental than the last book itself towards one another Milla keep us from being oppressive to one another, especially within the context of our families, because I couldn't allow

00:34:46--> 00:34:59

him and every one of you I'm so grateful that I had this opportunity. I don't know how long I'm going to stick around. I think they have a schedule for me, but it's it's so awesome to see all of you. I wish I had time to engage many as many of you in conversation as possible. I will promise you one thing though.

00:35:00--> 00:35:01

I have my football

00:35:03--> 00:35:42

This is the machine that football right? Is this the machine I put when tomorrow? Here? Okay, so here I have a I have a certain policy for hotel, I give the football and then right after the football I usually go outside and I give a chance to our mothers and our daughters to ask whatever questions they want. Because I feel are even though this is an exceptional community, I feel across the oma our mothers daughters and sisters don't have as much of an opportunity to engage with the scholars etc. As the men do so I'd like to give them priority first in Charlottetown. So that's what I if we don't get a chance to speak today, I will make it a point to stay outside as long as I can

00:35:42--> 00:35:46

tomorrow, and Charlotte had to do that but welcome Solomonic

00:35:49--> 00:35:50