Ramadan 2022 – The Religion of Your Father #20

Nouman Ali Khan


Channel: Nouman Ali Khan


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AI: Summary © The speakers discuss the importance of past experiences and the concept of relevance mentality, which is a fear of being irrelevant. They emphasize the need for people to be aware of their true existence and be visible in their own lives. The speakers also touch on the importance of acceptance and faith in building loyalty and connections, as well as the connection between human emotions and family. They stress the need for acceptance of others' ideas and finding comfort in one's own experiences to make one feel better.
Transcript ©
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I will be learning I'm going to show you a little Adeem which is Lelisa necesitan ad. Budget I'll name him well rasa tea Jen net in name. While Finley Abby in mukana. Me now on the while, talk Xeni young Matthew Barzun young woman a young man who's

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been in Manhattan law have you all been Sally?

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abstractly so recently me Emery rock that and Melissa many of our colleagues, but hamdulillah salat wa salam O Allah rasool Allah Allah and he also is very cinematic Morocco by Italo Ricardo.

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After the Dutch tomorrow, after this yesterday, I was still curious about the phrasing and iron number 84 of the Dr. Ibrahim alayhi salam, which i Lee Lisanna said, then fill it in something was in my mind that I wanted to confirm it. And in fact, it's true, a number of scholars did talk about it, and I want to share that with you. And elaborate on it. So there are two dimensions to what Ibrahim Ali said his legacy kind of is tied to one is his past and the other is his future. So the people that are tied to his past or his father and his nation, and the people that are tied to his future or his children and and humanity at large. So there's kind of a two directional thing that's

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happening in the conversations that involve Ibrahim Ali Salam. So if you notice, even in his prayers,

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there's there's stuff about first He abandons the people of his past that have done something wrong, right? Or they abandon him and he's walking away from them in the home or do we leave a lot of people I mean, and after his attachment to Allah azza wa jal, his next door about the future is gonna be Hubli probably Hawkman while Hackney masala hain, you know, join me in the company of good people, sincere people, genuine people like that I talk to you about yesterday. So he wants the company of good people around him. Now, the next thing and we know that he didn't really have a massive following, even though the Quran in one place, says well, the dinar ma who, the those who

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were with him, so perhaps he had a few a handful of followers with him to other scholars said nobody was with him. It was just his own family, meaning eventually it was his wife, his sons, etc. Those were the only people that were with him. But this phrasing which I listen to silicon, Phil alkylene, it's pretty powerful. I explained to you yesterday that he's asking Allah that when people speak about him, they speak truthfully about him in the future.

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But other scholars looked at this and said, Listen, I said Korean, why is he asking to be mentioned anyway?

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Right? Why would someone want to be mentioned, generations from now? I'm already gone. That sounds like praise him for dinner as he kind of likes to play that he likes this. Look at the worst case scenario. I hate using the words devil's advocate. But he does that. And it's brilliant that he does that. He says, Well, why would someone want to be mentioned generations after they're dead? To put this in modern context, there are people that

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they're really old, really rich, and they know they're gonna die soon. And they they're sitting on hundreds of millions of dollars. So they'll donate to a university or to a hospital or to some prestigious, whatever. And the thing is, the department will be named after them, or the wing of the hospital will be named after them. And there will be a monument of their name associated right so that their name will live on. So there's a desire in humanity that their name should carry forward. In ancient times, the way this was done by by was by your lineage, right, your lineage will carry your name forward. And of course, in ancient times, people also had statues and monuments built so

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hundreds of years years after somebody's gone, the sign of their that I was here, I wasn't forgotten. There's a fear human beings have of actually being forgotten, you know, and becoming irrelevant. I was looking at the psychology also of relevance and irrelevance. It's an interesting thing, human beings even when we're alive. One of the worst feelings a human being can live with is that they feel unnoticed.

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Like nobody cares about nobody notices me I'm basically invisible. If I didn't exist, nobody would be impacted. You know, and there are people who they have to choose because they feel like they're making no, they're so they feel so worthless that they're making nope,

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positive contribution in anyone's life. So they're basically irrelevant. They feel that they're irrelevant. By the way, by definition, no one is irrelevant. But anyway, they feel that way. And when they feel that way, they have to make a choice. They have to make a choice between being irrelevant and being hurtful. Because if they're hurtful, at least, someone was reacting to them. So that way, their way of validating that I still exist, right? Because if they don't, you know, because they, you'll, you'll find, it's a crazy phenomenon I don't have I don't hope you have people like that in your life, or, you know, or you're not like that, that you say things not because you

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think it's any good. You don't say things because they're positive, you don't say things because you need to say things, you need to say things because you need to see that you had a reaction from someone. And the fact that you caused a reaction validates that you have some kind of an existence. Right? And so there are some people who just you wonder why are they always making sarcastic comments? Why are they always so negative all the time? Why don't they always, you know, it's actually relevance, it's a fear of being irrelevant, I would rather be offensive than be irrelevant, actually, you know, much of the, you know, you'll find if you have a real job, and you have real

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purpose in life, and you're busy with meaningful things, and you're taking care of your family, and you have responsibilities, etc, etc, you're gonna find that you're, even if you see something online that you're you didn't like, you're not going to comment on it.

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But the vast majority of people aren't commenting.

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And they're not criticizing, even if they critique intellectually, they're not, they're not going to make it a point to actually put that down in the comment section. And there's a reason for that, because some people need to be visible, because it makes them feel like they exist. And then some people like to agitate on purpose, and say offensive things outrageous things on purpose, because then other people will comment on them. Even that angry face icon is going to make them feel like I exist. But coming back to the point here, why would Ibrahim Al Islam want to be mentioned? Why would he want to be talked about in the future, this is actually the Quran key teaching a very powerful

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lesson. We are a dean, I keep reminding myself and all of you, we are a dean, that is the perfect balance between this life and the next life. And we don't look at this life in isolation from the next life. And we want the best of this life and the rest of the next life and they're actually connected to each other. I want the best of this life in a way that will make sure that I have the best life in the next one. We're not doing a series on Sulaiman Alehissalaam. But even he, when he asked a lot of BW Hoekman lie on the Helia had him embody my master give me kingdom, and will can actually get give me kingdom that is not suitable for anyone that comes after me. Right? You can

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imagine. I could see if Donald Trump was a praying man, he would say that.

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Right? Give me Give me more Kingdom than anyone's ever had. This would be the greatest one ever. You know, if it only would ask them for something like that. Why is the man I'm asking for something like that. And along the same lines, why is it Rahim Allah is asking to be mentioned, among the last people that walk the earth like generations and generations, among the final of generations that will live in this world. He wants to be mentioned and mentioned truthfully, because he understands something. He understands that what he's doing, he doesn't diminish what he's doing. So break this down to a few elements. Number one, he's just a young man in a village that's walking away, right?

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But he understands the significance of it. He understands that this is actually a very powerful thing that Allah has blessed me to do. And if other people find out about it, they will be empowered and encouraged to do the same thing.

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If people know what I have done here, there will be other young men, other young women, other old men, other old women, other people that will take the step towards the law, no matter what the cost,

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they'll do that too. And if they do that, then I will be I'll be connected to them, even if I've never met them in this life. But I know for a fact that when I when I stand up on Judgement Day, those people that heard about what I did, and because of what I did, they were impacted, they will be connected to me on Judgement Day and their good deeds will actually add to mine.

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I will they will actually be my helpers on judgment day to not just themselves this concept of sadaqa jariya he understands it. So like

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in a sense, he wants popularity, right. So, he wants to be mentioned among the last people which means generation after generation he shall be mentioned. So he wants popularity, but he wants popularity for a very different reason. He doesn't want popularity in order to be liked.

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He wants popular he wants it in order to for people to do things that will make them disliked

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Guess what he did? made him the most disliked individual in the entire town and his family. You understand that this is not about being likable. So you see, like, our, our notions of popularity, they are directly associated with likability. Right? We want to be someone that's liked. And it makes us feel kind of more valued. People say, hey, so who are you? How many followers do you have? Okay, all of a sudden, when how many followers now you certain suddenly have value? If you only have four followers, it's like you're a worthless human being. What do you have for followers is that your cousins? That felt bad for you? You know, that's what that's all you're worth. So we measure

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value now in terms of popularity, right. But actually, Ibrahim had extra measures value, not just in terms of how many people heard about him, or heard his name, he just wants to know, he wants to make sure that whenever somebody mentions him, they mentioned what he did truthfully. And if that utterance will be there, then the inspiration for what he does will be there. Right? So really powerful thing that he's asking for. He's also understanding something else in this family, or in this life, we have family and family, even though you're genetically from the same, you know, batch,

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psychologically, emotionally, spiritually, personality wise, sometimes you can be I don't know, from a different planet. Like sometimes you look at your family member, like how are you and my family? Like? I don't I don't understand how you and I are siblings, like, seriously, you know, or how is that my house that way? My house that my dad, how's that my son? It are so different. So completely polar opposite? I mean, look at Ibrahim alayhis salam in his father. Look at the salah Salem, and his uncle's look at you know, Jacoba insulin, and his sons use of Elisa and his brothers, you know, know how to answer that Minister, I mean, over and over again, you have people that are, and the

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Quran will highlight people that are spiritually different, but we know that there are all kinds of differences. And it may be that at work or at school or in other social environments, and in your Muslim Students Association at the masjid, wherever you find a group of people that are really connected to you, that really understand you, that get you that you're on the same page with they finish, you finish each other sentences. And when you go among your own people, your own your own race, your own family, your own tribe, nobody gets you. I can certainly be the case. And Ibrahim at least I'm certainly the ideal case study for that, isn't it? Like nobody gets him and the entire

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town? And people that finally did get him got angry? Why did he make that? Why did he make me get a bird in my life.

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They hate him for it. But he understands when people that people will be connected by ideas by faith, by the truth more powerfully than they can be connected by bloodlines more powerfully than they can be connected by by genetics, I just think about that historically put that in perspective, right. You know, one of the most powerful form manifestations of human power, our kingdoms,

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all power of an entire region, converged into one human being. And his family is then called the royal family. Right? But the problem with the royal family is everybody's thinking this guy is going to die one day or another? Is it going to be the older son that's going to be the king or the younger son that's going to be the king? Or is it going to be the brother that's going to be the king? Or is it the brothers kids that are going to be the king? And they're a bloodline, right? And guess what, in every dynasty in history, there are plots and conspiracies to kill family members. And if the next one if one brother takes the throne, he makes sure the other brother gets killed or

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executed or exiled. Because so long as he's alive, he's a threat to the throne. Right? So the most influential people they are most they have the most spied towards those that are closest to them. And they are the most danger to those that are closest to them. So you would think that blood or genetics or family would bring people the closest, but actually, this these are some of the worst contestants in life the most the worst conflicts in life happened between them, right? And on the flip side, you've got Rahim Allah, He Salam being separated from the bloodline. And he's saying, even the last people that walk on this earth, if they can just remember me, truthfully, he's not

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connected to them by blood, or genetics, or region or locality, or nationality, or property or business. He's connected to them by by the truth. That's it. The truth is this invisible chain that binds these people together and builds a loyalty that nothing else can build. You know, so this this La ilaha illallah, this thing that we believe it creates a bond that nothing else can create, and he sees that it builds a bond that can span across generations you can have for example, this is wild to me when you just compare what we live in, and what you what you

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what you read in Allah's book, like you'll have a young man who is raised in the United States or a young woman, and they're like, I can't relate to my parents, I don't really understand their they don't understand what I'm going through the world has changed. I can't understand why because the world changes quickly, right? So and by the way, maybe you couldn't relate to your parents and their parents couldn't relate to their parents, but your kids really can't relate to you. Right? There's a big gap, right? Because the world changes so fast. And yet, when the son or the father or the grandfather truly turned to the faith, they can all relate to Ibrahim Alayhi. Salam from 1000s of

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years ago. That's not outdated. Isn't that wild? It's an incredible thing that he said was the only Lisanna said can fill in. And when he says that, then he and I said this to you yesterday, but now you'll see it in a different flavor. He's lost the inheritance of his father, he's not going to carry his father's legacy. He's not going to even if his father died, he's not going to take over the idol worshipping workshop. You know, he's there, somebody's going to take over. So what is he going to inherit? He's going to inherit nothing. But when you only mean water 30 Jonathan, I'm going to inherit make me from those who inherit the garden of ultimate luxury, ultimate comfort. So he

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wants to inherit Jenga, meaning He's tying himself directly to automatically Salaam and all those who made the stick far and that's a good author that was left behind in my Atlanta community, who then from Entebbe allodynia, Fela Hoffmann la him along as you know, this is why the people of the children of Adam were guaranteed Janna they were guaranteed Jana and that's why children what we know and we were told the children of Adam about them all of them. Allah azza wa jal says about the believers he says oh like a humble very soon I lived in Arizona for those they're they're inheritors how are we inheritors of Jana? You inherited inheritance can only happen if your father or father or

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father owned a property well, yeah, Allah gave your father Jana other medicinal. Right. And then he put conditions on there's there's conditions for the properties waiting for you meet these conditions, and it's yours. Right, that's all guidance is guidance is meeting those conditions. Then there's a problem that we all die of Hola. Hola. Hola. Hola. We meet these conditions, you can have your inheritance back. That's why we're called inherited inheritors. And that's what he's saying here. When he says what you only mean what is the teacher net in marry. But still looking back, he's not going to abandon the concern he has for his father yet. So he says, well, Finley be in the hook.

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And I'm in the blogging. But I've spoken to you about that before. So I'm going to move forward with that. But there's one lesson from it that I do want to highlight. That is important. His father was extremely aggressive, extremely offensive, extremely hurtful when he said, If you don't stop, I'm going to stone you leave me or go away from here. Never, you know, don't come back for a long, long time. You know, my God, Malia, we already read that, right. That's what his dad says. So he sees the rage of his father, he sees the irrational responses of his father, he was making rational criticisms. His dad was seeing erratic, emotional, crazy, wild things, we saw that the father

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actually didn't respond to anything reasonably. Right. He just made it a question of loyalty. So the issue was, he was speaking from the intellect, his father was speaking from emotion, that's what was happening over and over again, right. And he realized he acknowledges something. And when he prays for about his father, that you can have a relationship with somebody that you're trying to do good for, but they cannot speak to you reasonably, they become emotional every time their emotions take over. And the rational part of their brain, the critical part of their brain switches off, and the angry version of them turns on, or the aggressive version of them, or the sarcastic version of them,

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or the dismissive version of them, there's another version of them that switches on and then they don't want to be able to you can, you can't reason with them. Now they can only be offensive. And he realizes that those people they're lost because the only thing that can give you guidance is your intellect. On Judgement Day, there will be people that about as they're about to be thrown into hellfire, the angels will ask them allow me to come to the dinner Warner come to you, or New

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forgot to come pick us up now. Macola Mazola, home in shape. But in the next hour, call your local nurse Maru. Oh, no clue. Not good enough. Here's how to say if we only listened, or we only gave it thought. The issue is they realize they never gave it thought. Like they always just made it an emotional attack. They took it personally that somebody was questioning what they were doing. They took it and once you take it personal, you can't think clearly. So he sees that in his father and he says my dad's lost. Forgive him. He's just he's just run by his emotions. But you know, as much as his love is making him say that.

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At the end of the day, human beings will not be able to hide behind their emotions. We will eradicate slavery. We will not be able to hide behind our emotions we will not be able to we can hide behind our emotions in this life or you know, I get crazy sometimes

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You know, it's okay. Yeah, you can, you can use that as a, you know, a crazy, you know, passport, or a license to do whatever or get away with whatever, you know, or to you know, sometimes fathers get like that to their sons and the sun is broken. And the mother says, you know, your dad gets like that sometimes, you know, when he's like that, just stay away from him. Okay, your dad just gets like that.

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I'm pretty sure dad is not going to be able to say, you know, you know, hola I get like that.

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You understand? Right? Because I, you know, once I get mad, you know, and

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then the agent, he literally tells the angels that I was, hey, stop recording. I'm mad right now. And then he, it's not all that works. When the sun is being obnoxious with the father or mother. So I got mad, you know, what do you want me to do? When I get mad? I can't, you know, I said, sorry.

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Your emotions do not give you license to say whatever you want. Even your father gave hot baths in the sun, our masala Well, it could look like a kind of odor, or even your heart, your in your inflamed heart, your heightened emotions, they will be questioned on judgement day too. So when he says about his dad, what it's coming from is I see that my dad is constantly lost because he refuses to think, and he's been that way. But forgive him and forgive him could also employ, you know, embed in it, yeah, Allah allow him. If once I'm gone from here, maybe his anger will come down as emotions will come down, calm down. And when they calm down, maybe he'll be able to think.

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And maybe he'll come to guidance. And if that does happen, then, you know, and he's remarkable. He didn't say in the whole minute by Lynn, he said, you know, who can I mean, Allah Lee, he said he has been from those that are lost. But he's not saying he is from those that are lost, meaning there's still hope. He's still not giving up hope. Right. And the lesson that I want to leave you with is you could be as well spoken and sincere, and, you know, loving and caring and direct and guided in your Dawa as what Ibrahim Alayhi salaam was doing with his father, but it can still have a negative effect.

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Right? So sometimes it's just because it's you that it's not working. Maybe you just you just need to take a step, step back, and you need to stop preaching to some members of your family. Because it's the fact that it's you that is so annoying to them. It's agitating them that how is my son talking to me this way? Who does she think he she is he's talking to me like that? Who does he think he is? He's talking to me like that. That's actually that that rage is because you are a member of the family and you're supposed to be subservient. You're, you're stepping out of your role, if you're giving Dawa, and their ego takes over, right? So maybe you should not. If you've seen their

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ego flare up so many times, then you just need to step back and let them figure that out. And just then you can just all you can do is make dua for them. Maybe some indirect ways better for them, because you're only making things more aggressive. So willfully be in the hook and I'm in Bali, but he's afraid he's you know, he, the power of the words of Ibrahim are some I could say this to tomorrow, but I really want to get to this this is at least today, just one thing. I'll be five minutes when I talk Zinio my overthrown do not humiliate me on the day where all of them will be raised, do not humiliate me. Now in this life, or our historically in society, our honor is related

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to our own accomplishments. But by extension, also, our honor is related to our our family, our parents and our children.

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So easy, the easy way to understand that is dishonor. If somebody's father went to jail, they're humiliated.

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Right, if somebody's if their parents were in the news, they're also humiliated. If somebody's kids got kicked out of school, somebody's kids went through humiliation, they're also humiliated. Right. And when your your your son has or your daughter has won some award or they want a scholarship, or they, you know, then you know what you're also elevated. And when your dad or your mom has accomplished something amazing, you're also elevated. So we are our dignity in this life is tied to those that came before us, our parents and those that are underneath us, our children. If there's a connection, generally in life, Ibrahim alayhi salam is speaking to other in the future. He's

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connected to good people. He's making dua to Allah that in the future people speak of him in truthful ways. That's how he's connected to them. But there's some connections he cannot avoid. He cannot disconnect himself from his father. That's that's a that's a bond Allah created and no matter what on Judgement Day, he's still going to be his father's son. So now he's afraid that one I may make mistakes, but even those around me that are tied to me, when they are humiliated on Judgement Day, then that will also become a humiliation for me. Right because the humiliation of my parents is also my humiliation. So What's he asking Allah for the Day of Judgment?

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Well, I took cine yo yo bathroom, don't you?

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Millie ate me the day that they are going to be raised. Don't allow me to be humiliated and Allah Allah azza wa jal actually answers this door in his own beautiful way. We have this connection between father, son, mother daughter, family ties, these are the ways that honor and dishonor is connected. But Allah azza wa jal created a different system on Judgment Day. And on Judgment Day, we are working to widen Falletta you're broken up into three groups, you know, and the group you belong to is not the family you belong to the group you belong to is the people that have lived in there in front of their chests on the right hand, and they're being honored. And the people that are

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connected to them in this life may be completely disconnected from them in the next life. To the point where when the believer makes it to Jana,

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and they're like, oh, where's my best friend? Where's the person I love so much. They're not here, you know?

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That Allah will allow them to see. Right he will allow them to see bait take a peek at those that they used to love in this life. And when they see them burning in hell, the first thing they will not say is Oh, I'm humiliated or cannot yell like Allah, can you save them? That's not a first reaction. You know, the first reaction is

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in get a letter D.

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Man, you almost pushed me off the cliff to who

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it's almost as if they're saying thank God is just you burning because I would have been would you barbecuing right there to man, it's the Himalayas, Bob, the relationships are cut. So Allah is answering that in his own way. Allah is answering that severing in his own way. We don't want harm for our family members in this life. Allah has put a love a concern a want for their well being in this life. Those of you that are Muslims, that have Hindu parents that are Buddhist parents that are atheist parents, you know, you have family that doesn't believe Christian parents, I could feel like I can only imagine the kind of pain you have, but at least you should find some comfort in knowing

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that Ibrahim alayhi salam felt that pain to him he made the offer his father to you know, he made the adaptations he should be guided also. So you should find comfort in that and do that. So anyway, these are some things that we have to become more and more cognizant of as we explore the words of Ibrahim Ali Salaam in his young age as he's walking away. There's only a couple of words left from this passage then we're gonna get to older age of Ibrahim s and we've explored the youth of Ibrahim Allison and we're gonna get to the middle and older age of Ibrahim Al Islam as the Quran describes it.

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Inshallah in subsequent sessions BarakAllahu li Welcome to the Quran him wonderful anyway, yeah, it can be it was lacking Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.