Ramadan 2022 – The Religion of Your Father #13
Channel: Nouman Ali Khan
Series: Nouman Ali Khan - Ramadan 2022 - The Religion of Your Father
File Size: 23.04MB
Episode Transcript ©
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from shortly so we have silly Emily wild oak that Emily Sani if Khalid Al hamdu lillahi rabbil aalameen or salat wa salam O Allah says we are even more saline while earlier he also have a huge rain in my bag once again Salam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh. So today, I'm going to continue talking to you about Ibrahim Ali Salam and we're getting get to a pretty tough part of the story, a very delicate part and something that
takes a lot of care and time to try and understand. I'm going to introduce that today. So at least relatively the task I have before me today is a little bit easier. But the test tomorrow in sha Allah is a bit tougher. So I ask Allah to give me clarity and being able to understand it properly and also being able to communicate its message to you all properly, and being being able to do justice to the book of Allah.
So today, what we're going to talk about is Ibraheem Alehissalaam has been told to leave the house don't come back ever again. How dare you walk away from my gods? That's what we talked about yesterday. And we're going to look at it Rahim. Our listeners response. Now this young man is now being kicked out of his home. And he has nothing but love for his father. He has been brave. He has been able to express what he believes. But it's not like he hates his father, but the father is showing a lot of spite and hatred towards him. So what does he say? He says Allah salam alayka he says peace on you. And Salam is general. So As salam o Allah can tell I'm gonna leak a little bit
about the difference between them. That can mean Salam on the end that you hear. And Solomon, what that does is it's like unimaginable kinds of salaam unimaginable kinds of peace, like I can't see peace coming to you right now from what I see. Your, you know, drowned and shake and misguidance. And when someone has that, then you know, you're allowed. So you know, there's solder their chest becomes hydrogen V and it becomes tight. So when people don't do right by Allah, Allah makes their chest tight. So he can't see how his dad is going to have peace. But he's saying Allah is capable of anything, maybe somehow his heart is going to change at some point. So he's actually not only saying
farewell when we think of Salah we think of farewell. He's actually praying for his Father, I pray you find peace, I pray somehow peace comes on to you. I pray somehow good comes on to you and that peace can only come by way of faith. So actually, even inside Salam when ALEC is actually praying for his father to find the right faith, right, that's, that's embedded inside those words. Now, these are parting words of Ibrahim, this young man, you can imagine a teenager is being kicked out of the house. And his father saying Get away from here. And his last words to his father are calm, and prayer and peace, and he's leaving in a peaceful way. Now the thing is, typically, you would
imagine, the elder is more composed and the youth is fired up. And when Kate when kids leave the house, you know, the young man walks out of the house or girl walks out of the house, they scream and yell back, slam the door, they walk out, right, that's the that's the typical scene that repeats itself around the world. And here you have the elder acting like a child and the child behaving maturely, right, he's the one that same piece on you. And I'm praying for you and he's walking away peacefully. Right. And that's one of the remarkable things that Islam does. Islam.
It brings about maturity at an early age that even surpasses the elder. It gives a young man or young woman control over their emotions. They don't get riled up easily. It's not easy to get under their skin. It's not easy for them to just lose their emotional temperament, you know, and if that's the case with you, then you haven't internalized some things from the Quran yet.
If you get easily fired up, if you get easily riled up, then you haven't internalized the thought process that Allah wants you to have. Because, you know, obviously, if you're any other person who's in this position, they're trying to tell their dad, they're doing something wrong or whatever they get yelled at, they could just fire back and said, You know, I'm trying to help you want to burn in hell so bad. You know what that sounds like your problem, then? Go ahead. You know, they could do that. Or fiber. How are you? Why are you yelling at me, I'm the one trying to help you. Don't you realize this is wrong, they can they can raise their voice too. But Ibrahim I listen, I'm keeps his
composure. And that's one of the things a theme that you will find among the prophets of Allah is that they keep their composure, even when he destroyed it decided to destroy the idols, he kept that to himself. And he did this whole thing that Allah wanted him to do. But even at the end of it all, he kept his composure, and now with his dad, but this is actually a scene before the whole escalation outside, because we're not going chronologically, or going by the passages of the Quran, right. So the scene where he destroyed the idols that we already talked about, is going to happen later. That's that hasn't happened yet. But even now, he's kept his composure, and he didn't let
that Situation Escalate. The thing to know here is that you can be a very composed person, in every part of your life, you can be really, really well controlled at work, your manager could be like, fit around, you know, 2.0. And you can just stay calm and composed. You could you could be a cashier at a store. And the person in front of you as the most obnoxious human being on the planet, somehow your your luck that they're the one who showed up and they want a refund for a half eaten sandwich or whatever, right? They're giving you a hard time. Where's the manager this? And you can say, excuse me, thank you can you can keep your composure, when did you want to keep your job, but to
because you've learned to grow a thick skin and ignore some of that craziness, right? You can ignore all of that stuff.
But you know, the same people who have that kind of high level of composure and tolerance in whatever situations, they're not able to keep that composure when it comes to family. Because family members have a way of poking you. That gets right through any defenses you have. Like they could say stuff, and they can do stuff, and they can look at you in ways. If anybody else said exactly the same thing. It wouldn't bother you.
But your dad said it. Your mom said it. Your brother said it. Your spouse said it child said it would cut deep. And that's why it's harder to be more composed and dignified, and you know, under under control, when you're having conversations and communications with family and sometimes those conversations are about Islam. They're about your religion. And maybe even if you're in a Muslim family, you're a little more Muslim than the rest of your family. That's very possible. Right? Or you're at least trying to be and they notice it and then they start making fun of your religion. Or they might be start making fun to do you're practicing your religion, or where are you going? Oh,
okay. Yeah, you're holding out right? Okay. Okay. Okay.
They're being sarcastic with you. They're taking shots at you. And they're doing it and they're doing it. And you know what, eventually you explode. But Ibrahim Ali Sam's legacy, again, his father's exploding on him. But he's keeping his composure and he realizes something. He's not going to take a stand and say, I'm staying here, no matter what, make me leave, you can't make me leave. He's leaving. I'm not gonna escalate the situation, I'm gonna walk away. That's fine. That's another important thing that sometimes heated exchanges are not under your control or my control. Somebody's going to lose their temper, somebody's going to lose their cool, they're going to explode. There's
nothing you can do about that. But one thing you can do is distance yourself.
You can distance yourself. You know, it's interesting. Some people actually say crazy things. Because not because they mean it. But because that's their way of keeping you in check.
Right? Get out of my house. Don't ever come back. Okay, I'm gonna leave. Where are you going?
You just said get out of the house. You just said don't come back.
Don't be smart with me. No, I'm actually being sane. Right? So you can you can hear overly dramatic things in the heat of exchange. And what you need to do if you if you're exposed to that constantly. If I'm exposed to that constantly, you're within your rights to say I'm not going to continue to expose myself to that. I need to distance myself there's nothing wrong with distancing yourself. Allah azza wa jal, Linda Quran says, well, Sahib who Macedonia Moldova, he tells us about parents, give them company in the most dignified way. Accompany them, accompany them, and then he talks about old age and how they become hard to deal with. He talks about that, you know, in my blue, Anna
Indical, Kibera, huduma Oklahoma velata Columbo often if one of them or both of them reach old age that don't say even often and this is a murky Surah that's important to note because in Makkah, the Sahaba the Companions who became Muslim they
Your parents weren't Muslim.
Right? So when this idea came down, it wasn't. Its first audience was not Muslim parents, it was non Muslim parents. So there was a hostility at home. And when they were coming at you, then you don't even say off to them. Then you keep, you know, you stay patient. You don't respond, you don't you don't get aggressive. But what we learned from the legacy of Ibrahim alayhis salam is even stepping away. Sometimes stepping away is doing them a favor. Because if you, you know, if you're trying to do you can convince them to do something good.
But they've resorted to hostility, like their biggest problem isn't the message. Their problem is, you're saying, like the fact that you're saying it is the problem, if anybody else would have given them advice, they would have been more prone to listen to it without their guard up. But the fact that you're the son, or you're the youth or you're the Who are you to tell me, that's what it's become now. Right? So you sticking around is actually making it more difficult for them to accept the message. Right, it's coming from you is the problem. Now there's even if you're Ibrahim,
he will fit it right him right. So now, that's the problem. So that the right thing to do there is to step away. You know, like sometimes, a lot of times actually, it's either, you know, this is a child talking to giving Dawa to the parent, but the opposite scenario parents giving Dawa to the child. And there's a lot of that scenario around the world. Right? So the mother says, My son stopped praying or my daughters and, you know, observing the deen anymore, and they're, they have bad company, they're resorting to bad things. How do I stop them? You know, like the Quran says, hey, look, I'm and parents are saying, Curse you believe? Where's Where did your faith go? My
parents are deeply frustrated with their children. And what does Allah say about that? You know, he did. He expresses the frustration of those parents. But at the same time, sometimes you have to just realize that we don't own our kids. What did he accomplish? I have to do sovereign Jamelia has to demonstrate beautiful patients. He's constantly he's not constantly preaching to his sons. They're already they need to come figure this out on their own. At some point, you have to realize this person has to figure this out on their own. Everything you could have done, you've done and if you keep trying to nail this in more and more, you're only making things worse, you're not doing good
that way anymore. You're reversing the effects of Dawa you're only making it more antagonistic now. So he says salam o nada, Ik, then he says that I still feel like a rugby, so beautiful. I'm going to ask my master to seek your seek forgiveness for you. I'm going to pray for your forgiveness. So he's telling his idol worshipping idol manufacturing Father, that he's going to be praying for His forgiveness. Now this is a this is the delicate issue that I'm going to talk to you about at length tomorrow in sha Allah, which is what which is that? Are we allowed to pray for the salvation and the forgiveness of our non Muslim family members? Are we allowed to do that? Because there are other
places in the Quran? which seem to say, No, you're not. And this is Ibrahim our lesson I'm saying, I'm going to pray for you. You know, and there are other words, you're gonna have to look at all of it, we're gonna have to look at all the places where Allah says, Don't do that. And we're going to look at the example of Ibrahim Ali Salaam and the exception of Ibrahim, right. So or when is it? Okay, and when is it not? Okay, and I want to be as empathetic as possible. There are people who absolutely love their mother. Right? And they're doing Dawa to her they're asking for praying for their forgiveness is actually the same as praying for their guidance, isn't it? Because there's, we
know that forgiveness isn't common except for by way of guidance. The rules are not different for your parents or for your loved ones, than they are for yourself. I know I can't get forgiveness if I don't live by guidance. Right? So it's the same thing for them. So asking for their forgiveness is the same as asking for their guidance. It's there they go hand in hand. So we're going to dive deeper into that Inshallah, because it is a delicate topic. And I have met some Muslims, that that took shahada, and then they were told you can't pray for your parents or you can't pray for your brother or your sister. And they're in a crisis, like they know that my parents are heading down the
wrong path and they can't even pray for them. Right? So how do we reconcile that that's, that's again, tomorrow's task, but for today, he says to his father, I'm going to be praying for Your forgiveness in a hookah and I'll be happy my master, he's always been extremely good to me extremely gentle with me. My Arab has been extremely gentle with me. This is heavy in Arabic, is a shoddy the look fee, a shahidul ilahi? Well,
so it's actually someone who's extremely good and extremely gentle and, and delicate and treating you and taking care of you. This is how Ibrahim Ali Salam is describing Allah. So look at where you should notice a pattern of the way Allah talks the way Ibrahim talks about Allah. Ibrahim Al Islam talks about someone who he he has to worship someone that he loves. Right? Not just someone that has an authority over him someone that he loves. And now he's talking about someone who has been extremely delicate and gentle with him. Right? Then he when he called on his name, he called on our man. So yes, Allah has many names. But it seems to be that Allah has the dimension of God that
Ibrahim alayhi salam is so attached to first and foremost is actually
really him being loving, caring, protecting, you know, always they're always there for you, someone who deserves to be loved back because of the love he gives. That's the dimension that he that is at the center of the discourse and the Tao of Ibrahim or Lisa, this is important because Muslims Allah, you know, Muslim discourse should reflect Abrahamic Ebrahimi discourse, the way we think about Allah, the way we introduce people to Allah should be the way Ibrahim alayhi salam thought about Allah because we let her be coming, right. That's why I did the series the religion of your father Ibrahim, right? So when we present Allah as the authority as the Punisher as the all powerful as the
one who will take revenge on judgment day as the one who was terrified, like those were all true, though, as the one who destroyed the nation of newer hand, the nation of Saleh and the nation of Iran and the destroyer of nations also true. That's how you introduce Allah. That's what's crazy is a lot of us were introduced to Allah from childhood in this way. We were told, if you miss a prayer, you're gonna get punished by Allah. If you eat the cookie you're not supposed to, you're gonna get punished by Allah. If you if you talk back to your mom, you're gonna get punished by Allah, Allah will punish Allah will punish Allah will punish.
You know, and there are even some cultures where like, mothers get angry at their daughters and they say, Allah will put you in Jahannam like they are making dua for their childhood, what kind of psychotic, you know, and these are these are people in like, these remember, people will memorize Quran, they're wearing hijab, they have beards, and they talk like that, like, well, what Islam is that? That's, that's not this religion. This is why coming back to the essence of our deen is so important. Coming back to the word of Allah is so important. It's not just lip service, we don't just say these things, it has to impact our thought process, our communication skills, all of that
should be impacted. So he says, you know, who can be happy, My master has always been caring and gentle with me.
And he's also actually kind of hinting at his dad that my Rob is gentle with me. And you used to be too, you know,
but you whether you're gentle with me or not, whether you're kind to me or not, I still have my job. And now how can I be heavier? He says, then what does you know, come well, not at their own Hamdulillah I am abandoning all of you, I'm distancing myself from all of you. So this is not just that anymore. This is the whole society, right? Because now if even if my dad won't listen, then I know my society is, you know, part and parcel with him, I've got no other place to go in this entire town, I'm going to leave all of you abandoned all of you, while not at the root Hamdulillah. And I'm going to get away from whatever it is that you're calling other than Allah. Well, at the root of B,
and I'm just going to make I'm just going to call on my rock, the only support I have left as my Rob, and the only thing I have now is to turn back to Allah and call on him. I gonna be your bishop here. It is my hope that I will never become someone who is miserable and hopeless. When it comes to calling on my rock. Meaning I'm always going to call on my Rob, I'm going to always pray to Him and never be miserable and hopeless. When I pray to him. I'm never gonna let that sink in my heart. So this is now another powerful dimension of our deen our worship of Allah is with the tongue, or making dua to Allah. But the heart has to be in the right place. And the heart of Ibrahim, are they
Sam, he's hoping because he knows being hopeless is a pretty easy thing to become. situations in life can make me hopeless, he's been kicked out of the house, he doesn't even know where he's gonna get his next meal. He doesn't even know he's gonna sleep tonight. And those back in the day Raiders, and this sudden, there was no 911 Somebody's going to kill you in the middle of the road, your corpse is going to be there. And the next people that come by are going to empty your pockets. That's what's gonna happen. You know, this was the old word, the ancient world. And he's a young man. So it's an easy target, right? And then his entire town hates him on top of that. And so now he
says, I but I have now I hope that no matter how bad the situation gets, I don't become hopeless. When I turn to Allah and prayer, I hope that doesn't happen. So the situation outside should never impact my connection with Allah. The situation outside can be good and it can get bad it can get worse and worse and worse. But my dua to Allah shouldn't change, for love matters alone. leave you with is so beautiful phenomena Tesla home, on my abdomen, Daniela when he distanced himself from them, and he distanced himself from all their false gods whatever they worshipped other than Allah will have neither who is haha, we gave him the gift of a child is happy. That didn't happen right
away. That happened several decades later, when he was an old man, this leaving the house happened when he was a teen. And he's having a child in his 70s and 80s. Actually, you know, so that's way down the road. And what does Allah say when he left them? Allah gave him the gift of His heart. Then he says what we are cool, and his grandson yaku and then he says what Quinlan, Jana and Debian all of them we made into profits, while web net will have nella humming Rama, Tina, and we gave them the gift. We gave all of them gifts from our mercy, our loving care or
Janna home meaning his children, his offspring Lisanna silkscreen Alia we gave them truthful tongues. Allah starts talking about his future, future generations. What is Allah telling us? One man made a decision to leave shake, right? And what did Allah give him as a gift, he gave him the legacy of children that will become prophets and carry the tongue of truth because he spoke the truth to his father, and now going perpetually into future generations, all of their good deeds become his. He's been abandoned by the people in this dunya but long after he's gone, there are people that are loyal to him and are going to continue to add to his good deeds. By the time you get
to Isaak yaku Yaqoob gives birth to you know, his son is useful. Yusuf is in jail, he's talking to a couple of prisoners, and he says, I follow the religion of my father Ibrahim.
Three generations are gone down and he's talking about who Ibrahim are they some on the flip side is there a smile 4000 years later, you get your suit, Allah Azza wa sallam, and he's talking about mulata becoming Rahim, all of this, Allah is connecting it to what he was willing to leave everything he loved, and every one he loved, when they made it impossible for him to worship Allah, He won't leave the worship of Allah. When he made that decision, Allah changed the course of the future. Unless he has the course of history, Allah changed the course of future generations. That's what he gave him. So maybe Allah will put your life and my life in difficulty. Allah will put some
some young man some woman who accepted Islam, they they feel like they lost their family, they lost their friends, they lost their social circle. They're completely isolated and abandoned. You know what you should feel like that because you're supposed to relive Ibrahim Ali Sam's story. That's why it's there. That episode has to happen. You're supposed to feel that isolation. And that isolation is actually the gift from Allah, which will lead to people being brought into your life by way of children by way of spouse by way of friends. Well, Latina Amanullah Amina Sally had the North Carolina home for Sally in those who believe and do good deeds, we will absolutely enter them into
the company of good people, Allah will give you a new company, he'll give you a new family, he'll give you something that won't just last in this this world, it will be something that will continue into the next life to have the kinds of people you want to be together with them in this life, and you get to be together and happy with them in the next life, too. That's what he'll replace it with. But in order to earn that, maybe you're gonna have to go through some isolation, maybe you're gonna have to experience what your father brought him, at least I'm experienced. Maybe maybe people will push you away. Maybe people are gonna hate you for what you're how you're being now, just for your
Islam, just for yourself. And you know, and I say this a million times, I'll say this as I, as I end today. This isn't just happening because somebody accepted Islam and a Christian family, a Jewish family, a Hindu family, and atheists, family, etc, etc. And many of those people are even understanding sometimes, and a lot of times in Muslim families, when a young man or a woman or even elder decides to wake up and wake up to their religion, they don't, they don't want to be Muslim by name anymore. They actually want to be Muslim. They want to know what Allah says, they want to bring changes into their life that make Allah happy, then you'll find that the kind of rage that Abraham's
father had, you'll see that kind of rage coming from Muslim families to Muslim at least by name, but there'll be upset, you're going through the changes, I don't like it. That's too extreme. I don't like it. You know, and when that happens, you and I better be ready. And we better be the kinds of we better exhibit ourselves in the way that Ibrahim Ali some exhibited himself the way he carried himself. Were supposed to be calm, collected and loving, and pray for them. If Ibrahim rallies and can pray for his Mushrik Father, we should absolutely be praying for our family members. That may be giving us a hard time but they deserve our prayer. You know, what I the last thing I'll tell you is
Abraham Ellison said this openly was tough. It cannot be but you can also read it as he didn't tell his father, I'm going to pray for your forgiveness. But maybe as he's walking away lovingly, he's saying it you know, murmuring attempt self is saying I'm going to pray for Your forgiveness, that, you know, you talk to someone even though they're not there. Right? Because you feel a connection to them. So it's perhaps that way that he's speaking because if you go to somebody a family member, and you say, You know what, you need a lot of Doha, I'm gonna make dua for you.
That's not the HA, that's an insult. Right? And it's also self righteous, like you got the dog connection, there. Probably their dog is gonna listen to that.
So don't do that. But genuinely, you know, pray for your family members, the ones that are even hostile towards your D, even especially those that are hostile towards God, and pray that Allah gives them peace, because that hostility is coming from a place it's coming from a place where they don't have peace. And then once they have that, then perhaps Allah will give them guidance and everything else that comes with it. BarakAllahu li Walakum Al Quran Al Hakim, when a foreign new ER can be it was