Channel: Nouman Ali Khan
Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan reflects on that passage of the Qur’an which is at the end of Suratul Furqan. In this passage, Allah SWT gives us, people, a special title. And that title is “Wa ‘Ibaadur-Rahman”. This means slaves of the Incredibly Merciful, the Incredibly Loving.
“And the slaves of the Most Beneficent (Allah) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness. And those who spend the night before their Lord, prostrate and standing. And those who say: “Our Lord! Avert from us the torment of Hell. Verily! Its torment is ever an inseparable, permanent punishment.”
[Surah Al-Furqan, Verses 63-65]
And of all the many titles we could have been addressed, Allah has chosen one specific title for us in this Surah which is “Ibadur-Rahman”. And so, the relationship that has been described between us and Allah in this Ayah of Surah Al Furqan is one of love, care, and mercy; we have been brought into the folds of Allah’s love, care, and mercy.
Who are these special people that Allah calls “‘Ibadur-Rahman”? The category of ‘Ibad Ur-rahman are as follows:
- Those who walk on the earth in humility.
- Those who spend their night before their master in Sajdah and standing.
- Those who pray to be avoided from Jahannam.
- Those who don’t overspend and don’t be cheap with money.
- Those who don’t call other God besides Allah, don’t kill anyone and don’t commit adultery.
- Those who make Tawbah and stay in good way.
- Those who don’t witness falsehood.
- Those who pass by a useless gathering in a dignified way.
- Those who do not ignore the reminder.
- Those who make dua to have ‘the coolness of their eyes’ from their family.
- Those who are patient.
Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah
as hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa Salatu was Salam O Allah say that he will mousseline rather early he will be co minister in the vicinity he
Allahu Allah Muhammad alladhina amanu I'm sorry, whatever. So Bill Huck, whatever so the sub Amira behind me that
let him initiate on the regime.
Manny Medina, Yamuna, Allah, the honan what is the Hata? Bahamas? Luna kalu salam, and when the Xena
when they did a coup
Saudi Arabia Sidley, Emily, Emily Sania, me
first and foremost, I'd like to thank the machette lm has been a place that is very close to my heart. As a matter of fact, I like coming here without telling anyone often.
And I've conducted some social experiments here as well. So I was here a few months ago, I think I mentioned this before, but I came here a few months ago, to attend Juma I was in the audience, I kept a hoodie on, so nobody would know who I was. And I kept my head down, and I wanted to see if I would get caught. And I didn't, I actually survived the entire experience one guy in one of the roles during Juma kind of a side view, and I quickly, you know, did a bit better job basically, and then it was fine.
But regardless, the hospitality that's been extended to me and of course, the overwhelming number of you that have come tonight is an indication of the love of Allah has put between us and May Allah azza wa jal accept that love itself as an act of a bother, and only increase that between the Muslims. What I wanted to share with you this evening, is something that a passage of the Quran at the end of circle for Khan, this is the 25th surah of the Quran. And surpasses the very near and dear to my heart. It's something I've talked about many times before, but every few years, I feel the need to go back and refresh my relationship with these ions. And if I feel that need, I feel
it's something that you would need as well. And so that's that's the inspiration between between are behind sharing some of these reflections from the end of surah. Number 25. With you, Alonzo church, and in this passage, gives us people a special title. And that title is what a Bible man, the slaves of the incredibly Merciful, the incredibly loving believers can be called the slaves of Allah, the believers can be called simply the believers and livina amanu, we can be called the Muslims, we have many titles, and have all of those titles, a special unique title that Allah has chosen in this surah is a bad man. And that's an indication of something, first and foremost, from a grammatical
point of view. And above all of mine is what they call an Arabic and a BA, what that simply means is two words that are bonded with each other, grammatically, two words that are fused with each other. And grammatically, you say even that nothing comes between the modaf. And it's medalla. They're inseparable, and using that kind of structure in and of itself, because you could say about Batman also slaves to man, but the fact that those those two words have been fused together itself, some, you know, commentators were allowed to be inspired by the fact that this is describing a very close relationship with certain people, and the law. And the names of Allah. Of course, each of them has a
certain connotation, it brings about certain emotions, for any one of us. He could have said about the law, the slaves of Allah, but he chose in his wisdom to say a bad man. And so the relationship that has been described between between us and a lot in this ayah is one of love, care and mercy. We have been brought into the folds of Allah's love care and mercy.
And as the IOD go, there are two ways two distinct ways of looking at what's been said, one way of looking at it, there are going to be certain qualities of people who are these special people that a lot of calls a bad man. And one way of looking at it is, well, here's a list of these qualities. And until you have all of them, you have failed. That's one way of looking at it, isn't it? And so, and from for many of us, we're just going to look at the first one and say, Okay, well, I already disqualified.
But another very clear way of looking at it, which is extremely plausible in the Arabic of these IOD is that each one of these are a separate group of people. Each one of them is a separate group of people. What they have in common is that they're all believers. But the thing about it is and this is the point that I want to give you in my introduction,
we're not all the same
Some of you like I met a woman this afternoon after Juma. She came up to me and said, I make 203 hours every day. Is that okay? That's what literally what she asked me Is that okay? And I said, you should get some kind of award.
Because 200 for five minutes is impossible for people. They haven't got, you know, people getting up for fudger on time is incredibly hard sometimes. And this woman is doing three hours. And I said, What makes you do that? And she says, Well, you know, what, am I gonna do watch TV? I'd rather talk to Allah. Because that's what she says to me. And I was honored that she came to ask me I shouldn't be, you know, seeking her advice. For people that are that close to a large though, that what I'm trying to get at is, we're not all the same, I can't do what she does. I'll be honest with you. I'm not capable of doing what that woman does. And I admire the ability Allah has given her Mila
continue to give her the common answer her prayers. But you know, there are other people who are just amazing and helping others. Their skill, their gift is to be able to help somebody else. They are yet other people who just have one effect when they're around people, they feel better. That's their gift. You just go to them, even if they don't say a word, you just hanging around them. And you just, you feel like there's a common you. There's a piece in
Allah has given all of us different gifts. This passage, one of the ways that I personally find that far more convincing is highlighting different things about different believers. So each, there's a group of believers that has one special quality, another group of believers has another special quality, that's what makes them special. And as we go through these IR you might find well I don't fit in the first one I don't fit I hope I make it into at least one category here. And inshallah Tada, as you will see, you will, you may even make it into one of the one category and that qualifies you to be at about McMahon. May Allah include all of us among is a badass man. So the
first of them, it's fascinating, the first you would think if alleged talking about those are the closest to him that he loves the most, perhaps you should begin with those that pray the most to him that worship him the most, you know that that are most diligent in their spirituality towards Allah? Where does it begin? He says, The name of the honan.
The split special merciful are the slaves of the Especially Merciful, these special people are ones who walk on the earth with humility.
And levena Yamuna of the honan. Before we go any further, we need to understand what that means. It does not mean that when you walk on the street, you walk half in ruku, or like your shoulders are drooping down. And you're you know, I'm being humbled. That's not humility, you walk upright. Humility means that you don't treat people like they're less than you. You don't talk down to people. And the idea of fill out is actually wherever you go, whether you're at home, whether you're at work, whether you're at school, whether you're dealing with your employees, or you're dealing with your employer, whether you're dealing with children, or you're dealing with elders, whether
it's your parents, whether it's somebody else, whether it's Muslims or non Muslims, when you deal with people, there's a certain humility in how you deal with them. You don't feel make anybody feel worthless. With your words with the way you look at them with the way you carry yourself. This is a machine of the human walking on the earth with humility. You know, in a humble fashion, you see the Koran will highlight different kinds of arrogance. Now everybody here knows arrogance is a disease of the heart. It's inside the heart. Yes. But then when there's a disease inside, like a virus is inside, there are symptoms on the outside. There's high temperature, there's sweating, there's all
this kind of stuff. The Quran will highlight. What are some symptoms of arrogance. Allah will describe for instance, the way people stare at someone. Just the way they look at it. They will describe how the Quran will say that there are people who stare at the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he Academy Latina kafala usually punakha me I'm sorry, him.
They stare at you so hard, you might almost slip and fall by the way they're looking at you. That's how hard they stare at you. In other words, they didn't say anything. They didn't do anything. Their arrogance was were just on their face, just in their eyes. So for a lot of young people, especially this isn't advice to you, your parents are yelling at you about something fair, unfair, doesn't even matter. And you're sitting there listening, and your blood is boiling, and you want to yell back, but you just stare at them with this ugly look. This ugly look you give them and your your mother says Why are you looking at me like that?
And she said, You said Well, I didn't say anything.
You don't get an award because you didn't say anything. Because the arrogance wasn't just in your words. Congratulations. You didn't say anything. That's good.
Cuz that would have been far worse. But there's pride and anger, and a lack of humility even in our face, even in the way you know from another room or others, our boss or
just the way you stare at someone, just the way you frown, just the way you roll your eyes. As a matter of fact, sometimes it's the way you look at someone, sometimes it's the way you don't look at someone, somebody had Salaam to you, you didn't even look at them. Just look the other way that you ignored it. Or you said what are they? Especially you said, Are you concerned because you feel guilty, but you said it in an especially low voice to make sure they don't hear it. And they feel like you didn't respond. So like Allah knows I said it, but I don't want them to have the satisfaction of knowing that I responded to their salon. So when they come and says, Hey, I said
Salaam you didn't respond, I did say,
there's some special kind of lack of home. And the VENA Yamuna of the honan humility towards people, mercy towards children, mercy towards elders, mercy towards people that are not worthy of it. They're not worthy of it. And this doesn't mean by the way, at the same time, this does not mean you let people walk all over you. There are situations in our families, among your friends, in your circles of people that are very abusive, it happens. There are people in your family maybe sometimes your parents even, that's a very hurtful things. That's a very unfair things. And you have to hear it all the time over and over and over again, there are women in our audience that I can't see
there's somewhere in this zip code or postcode. But wherever they are, maybe they have to hear things from their in laws, or their siblings or somebody else and they have to hear it all the time and it boils their blood. What do you do then? Well, you still have to retain your humility, what you have to learn to do is one stay out of those situations. If you know you're going to lose your cool walk away.
I can't be part of this conversation right now. I'm sorry, I'm just going to go take a walk. Just get away from it before you explode. This is first and foremost am shuna I don't have the honan. And then logically what's connected to it incredibly in the Quran is worried about Mooji Luna colusa Lama, it's piece by piece some incredible lessons here, either in the Arabic language doesn't mean if it means when.
When obnoxious people, when people that don't possess control, talk to them.
When ignorant people talk to them, it doesn't say if they talk to them the ISS when they talk to them, allies letting you and me know there are going to be people that address us that engages in conversation that communicate with us that are not going to be nice. That's going to happen. You cannot avoid it. That kind of unpleasant experience is going to happen to each and every one of you, including myself. There are going to be those that are just not understand what jackal means jarhead doesn't just mean somebody who's ignorant. You know, when Musa alayhis salam was asked
about the cow, you know, they and he said you should slaughter a cow and they said, Are you kidding? Me? Do not take us for a joke. We're gonna slaughter a cow. We have a serious situation here. We don't need to slaughter no cow. He got really upset. And you know what? musasa when he gets upset, he could do stuff.
So he immediately turns to Allah and says Rosa biLlahi and akuna Minal Jacqueline, I seek Allah's refuge from becoming people who are dying among people who are dying, that doesn't mean ignorance, because obviously Musa alayhis salam was one of the most knowledgeable people ever that ever lived. He's not talking about ignorance. He's saying I'm asking a loss refuge from losing control over my emotions, from losing control over my template from seeing things or doing things that I really want to do right now but I need to hold myself back. Now with that understanding, come back to the ayah there are people who have who just said the most horrible things and they have no brakes. You know,
there's supposed to be there's there's something in your heart and something in your mind. And it's supposed to travel down to your tongue, but on the way they're supposed to be some breaks. Maybe this shouldn't come out of my mouth. I'm feeling something bad words are coming. They reached all the way here but they shouldn't come out of my throat they should go back and swallow them. You know you should get but there are some people whatever it comes in their head they say you come and say I need somebody after six months at a party at either something Hey sonica you got fat
in front of everybody the sky
horrible, fine, you can think it
just say Mashallah, in your head why you got to see it in front of everybody. You know,
hey, I you know, so you dropped out of school a few years ago, you're still not graduated still a dropout? You know, these see things to you like that and it upsets you. You know, what do you do in those situations? Allah azza wa jal says and this is part of your humility in mind, this is how Allah will check our humility. People will come in
say and do the most offensive things. And by the way, a lot of times those are the people that are the closest to us. Which means you get thrown in that situation over and over and over and over again, like, how do you get out of it? Allah says is the heart of Mahamaya Lune. Solomon, this means a couple of things, I'll just share a few of these lessons here. When this happens, your immediate response should be peace.
Although Solomon could also mean Farewell, they say, peace, I don't want any more of this conversation, I'm going to leave you in a dignified fashion Oh, wait, I think I have an appointment. And you could say in your head, the rest of it with a law to make the law. But he don't have to let them know just say I have an appointment and just get out of there. Because you don't want you can't handle it.
In other words, they walk away from it in a dignified fashion. That's one meaning, when of noxious people come to you find a way of you know, what are unbeliever in the simplest way, let's say Maru calm and they passed by it in a dignified fashion. Another is when people are coming and trying to, there are some people who try to see things to get you angry, they actually enjoy doing that. They'll say things just to provoke you. And then and some of them know exactly what to say, because they've been in conversation with you before. And they know what sets you off. So they know exactly what buttons to press, and get under your skin. And you're sitting there not this time, not this
time, not this time, and then you're the Incredible Hulk and everything's gonna be destroyed. You know. And when that happens, you need to defuse it before, listen, I don't want to be in, you know, you can actually speak up and say, say something that declares Look, I don't want this conflict. I wanted this discussion, let's have a peaceful dinner. Let's not talk about that today. And insist on it. This can also be part of settlement. I don't mean to fight with you, I just rather just, you know, have this conversation and not let it go down the path. In other words, sometimes we don't say anything. And people keep walking all over us. In the eye, there's actually an indication perhaps,
that you can in a dignified way, in a respectable way, and in a confident way, let people know they need to back off. They're going too far. It's not right. That's not disrespectful. That's not a lack of other, you can stand up for yourself. But you just have to do it in a dignified way in a way that is peaceful. Also, Solomon some have looked at even as a state. In other words, when they respond, they are completely at peace. That's another implication here, when obnoxious people are talking to you. They're getting under your skin, they're making you upset. They're saying lie after lie after lie. And you have to sit there and listen to it. Like it's true. And they're saying it in front of
other people to your being thrown under the bus for no reason. When you respond, whatever your response is, it better be calm. You need to be calm and collected when you're responding. This is Carlos Solomon, and to allow people who can accomplish that in life, special to him.
In other words, this motivation, we need to remember, at that time, the person you're talking to does not deserve your calmness. They don't actually they may deserve a punch in the face. At the moment you have, so you're so good at comebacks. Some of you when somebody says something sarcastic to you, you can crush them, oh my god, the answers that come in your head, it's a multiple list that plays in your head, should I go with ABC or all of the above? You know, that's what's going on in your head. And at that time, when you decide to back off, what motivation Can you and I have to have the strength to not say, to not react to remain calm. I want to be counted among everybody.
I'm gonna forget that I'm in this unpleasant conversation. Because right now, immediately right now I am in the company of a law and his special offers descending on me, that is why he put me in this situation so I can earn closeness to him. This is actually a blessing. This unpleasant gathering is actually a blessing for me to get to him. So Panama
Latina Yamuna of the honan what is
Luna? kalu Solomon, look at what Allah says next. The second group of people this is their special club. By the way, this doesn't mean they don't do anything else. Like they don't pray and they don't eat a lot. And that's all covered. You're already a bad. This is above and beyond being a badass. What's the second great quality second group of people that are special to a lot what reason makes them special when levena be Tony Robbins so Jordan rookie among those who spend their night before their master in Santa and standing there praying in the middle of the night where nobody sees them, they can't sleep, and they know what lies closest to them in the middle of the night. And that's
what they do. For a lot of us. That's very difficult. And by the way, you will imagine like I told you before, if Allah was talking to the people that are closest to him, I expected him to begin with this group. I expected a lobotomy about the people that pray to him the most especially at an hour that is the closest to him, which is in the middle of the night. We should start there. But no, he didn't start there. He started with humility
because that act at
night, when you and I are humble before a lot, there's no chance of anybody else seeing us pray. There's nobody to impress the only one you want to impress this Allah, your pride is gone. Your sense of self worth is gone. You're you're in front of Allah admitting everything you've done wrong, you're having an open conversation before a lot completely stripped of all of your pride, Allah azzawajal is teaching us something profound. If you've want to strip yourself of your pride. First step, actually, is to see if you can get rid of your pride before people.
And then come before Allah.
You know, there are people who are great in worship,
and yet really mean to people.
It doesn't work that way. There were some there was a group that was given a priority here. And those were the ones that are humbled to people. And then of course, those who come before align humility, this is not something easy to accomplish. But if once in a week, once in a week, I know this is going to be hard. But once in a week, you pray a shot at the machine. And you go straight home, and you go to sleep.
And that will only happen if you woke up super early and didn't sleep.
So wake up.
Don't sleep, exhaust yourself pressure and go to sleep. And then set your alarm for maybe 45 minutes half an hour before fudger I'm not asking for the entire night, okay, half an hour before but you just set the alarm, get up a couple of seconds. Just do that.
And just take your time doing it and don't make anybody else you would quietly go in some corner of the house. You know, and do it and if you can start doing even one time two times, what you will find the peace you will find the connection you will find with a lot is something that will help you through the most difficult of times. And may Allah include us among these people that livina up to the European suggestion, Wakayama.
Then there's the third group of people.
The third group of people are Nina Luna, Rob Vanessa fan. Johanna, in other baja kana forum in Muskoka Roma common
people who just make one law not a whole long list of dogs there are only two eyes yelled I don't want to go to hell.
Just anything but jahannam don't throw me Indiana keep us away from the punishment of jahannam it is a horrible place to be I don't want to see it for one moment. I don't want to be there temporarily and I don't want to be there long term listen to the dog carefully in the house Atmos dakara Momo common
it's first of all it's punishment is a huge penalty and I don't want to be there temporarily and I don't want to be there long term.
There are some who develop the same disease among the among the Muslims the same disease at busara in head
they set a level not punishers in the Buddha except a few days Muslims developed this and said well let's gonna punish but not forever, right. We're Muslim eventually we come out.
I mean, yeah, okay, fine. I'm gonna go to Johanna. But it's gonna be like a long weekend. And then you know, I'll be fine. Look at the door of people who are close to Allah.
They're telling the layout, I don't want to go to jahannam not temporarily and not permanently in I'm recognizing that it's a horrible place to be Mr. Curran, omo common place to just stop over or to stay forever. I don't want either of those. This has many implications for us. I'll just highlight one for you. You see, you and I will never stop being tempted. haram will always be in front of us. And it will call us I say Fallujah into como Chateau promise you bankruptcy. In other words, when you go down the road of peloton chatango promise you're missing out, you're missing out, you're missing out, you could be having so much more fun. You could be making so much more money,
you could be having so much more pleasure. He's constantly going to market to you. Alternative products, alternative ways of fulfilling yourself, it will never stop. It doesn't matter how long you grow your beard. It doesn't matter how much you memorize. It doesn't matter how much you pray, none of that will matter Chevron will not stop, you will still be human being at the end of the day, you will still have those desires at the end of the day and shaitan will not stop he will keep going at you. And it is in those times. That shaitan you know the tactic that Allah describes of him the psychological tactic is a and Allahumma shaytani Armada. shaitan beautified their deeds to them
shall come to you and you're tempted to do something wrong. And you say yes, it is wrong, but I also do a lot of good.
Yeah, I didn't mess up. But I prayed to
you know, and it's not like I'm a coffee.
So it's okay. I mean, this is just and I'm going to stop after this time. It's not like I'm gonna do it later. I'm just doing it this one time. You start telling yourself all of these rationalizations, you start justifying it to yourself in your head. It's not that bad.
And then of course, you're around people who when you tell them, you know, this is wrong, they also tell you No, man, come on, it's not that bad. Stop, don't talk like that. No, let's not like that. I'm gonna punish you. Why are you going to talk so depressing? You're so extreme.
And then you listen to that, and it starts impacting you, and you start saying to yourself, okay, you know, but that that time you did it, whatever you did, whether it was drugs, or alcohol, or whether it was something with someone I don't want to know. But whatever that was, and you told yourself, what's the last time it wasn't? Because as soon as the last time and the guilt of recovered a couple of days, and there's another text message,
then there is another Bella,
you know? And you're like, no, this is the last time
and you go through that cycle again. And you do it again. And you keep on going. This is exactly what she wanted. These are people who can stop that cycle, turn to a lie and say yongala no matter what my friends are saying, no matter what was was going in my head, which happen, no matter how many times I've repeated this horrible cycle over and over again. I am done. I am done feeling guilty for two days and then going back. I'm done apologizing to you. And then going back. Well, let me follow me on the moon. They don't insist on the sins they did. And they know what they're doing. I'm not going to be from those people. When they send it over to the Medina Medina CR Toba
repentance doesn't work for those who keep on doing sins even after they make Toba. It's not for those people who keep cycling back in. These are people who say Allah, I don't want to go to jail and I'm fine. I've done some pretty jahannam worthy things. But I'm going to stop now. And I'm done. These are special people to Allah. Because Allah knows how tempting it was. Allah knows how powerful the addiction was. Allah knows how deep into sin you were, Allah knows the whole of shaitan on you for the for so long. And you were able to break that hole and come back to Allah, your journey to realize much tougher than other people's journey. The Temptations in front of you are much stronger.
The gravitational pull on you is harder. And you fought that and came back to a lawyer special. Don't think, Oh, well, I don't play tahajjud so I'm not that good.
Or I don't I don't even know any Arabic or I haven't even read the Quran and I don't even know did you do it? No, no, you're not special because you're not you're knowledgeable. Your your specialty doesn't come because you've made hype. 17 times, you're not special to a lot because of your in or your worship, you're special to Allah because you walked away from sin, and you were just afraid of him. That's what makes you special to him. neurosurgery.
And so from there, Allah azza wa jal takes us in a completely different each of these groups, think about what applies to you. How do you want to be special to Allah? How do you want to get close to a line? How do I want to get close to Allah? What is it worth to us really, at the end of the day, what is it worth does, you know, some there's sin is a is a kind of love. You fall in love with it, you get addicted to it. And this is this passage is really about a competition of love.
Because you love this pleasure, and you love this sin. And you can't you don't want to let go because it'll make you sad. And on the other hand on life saying I will replace that fulfillment with myself.
I will replace it with my, my company offering you and you have to you have to decide this equation for yourself. You're gonna be put in that situation and nobody nobody will know that the struggle is happening in your head. Nobody will know only a level not only a level and by the way, when you're looking at some of you guys are for example in haraam relationships, I don't know not accusing you, some people, not you some people that you know,
you're in an inappropriate relationship, and you're trying to break it off.
So you heard this talk and you texted her. I can't do this anymore.
And she asked me what do you do? You don't love me? Or you hate me now?
Or you think I'm the reason you're going to go to hell? I'm so evil. And now you're like, no, you're not an evil.
Nobody but I do love you You're not bad at all. You're You're great.
Okay, why don't you just okay fine if you really want to ended with me see me tonight and ended in my to my face?
No, I can't do that.
Fine, you hate me. Okay, fine, I'm coming.
And it starts over again. And then you want to do it over later on.
You see, it's not just you. You might even get emotionally sucked into something. And now you're being emotionally blackmailed. You make me feel bad.
You have to fight that. You have to overcome it.
And you have to recognize that you might disappoint someone. But you're making a lab. And you're doing that not just for yourself, you're also doing it for the other for the girl who's texting you back, or the guy who's texting you back. You don't want them standing in front of.
You just save them to If you really love them, didn't just lust them, but you love them and you want to save them to this is for them also, you understand that? So now, from here we go into a very unexpected place who else is special to Allah when the Deena either unfuckable them userinfo want me to walk anabaena delicate Obama.
Those people who when they spend, meaning when they spend money,
they don't blow all the cash they have. They don't overspend. And they're not cheap either.
They don't spend too much and they don't spend too little they have a balanced budget.
What does a budget have to do with getting close to a lot It does. The way you spend your money because your mind when there's enough
room in there money there's REITs that are known your parents deserve financial support your children do your siblings do your spouse does subaqua there your money should go and help their causes that deserve your your finances. But when you become addicted to things that are useless, and your money keeps going into movie after movie after movie subscription after subscription game after game after game, you know, new new gadgets for your car. You don't need rims that spin backwards. You don't need them. But you need them to for somebody else. You can't look at them when you're driving, somebody else is looking at them. They're spinning for someone else, not you.
You know, or the spoiler or the gadget, you know, you'll survive without the new iPhone, you'll be fine. You know, the Samsung little dangerous but you know regardless.
But when you keep on spending, you know, for a lot of sisters, it's a purse or a bag God some of these bags, like 1000s of pounds. You know, nothing you can't have any of it. But a lot does say, okay, spend but don't overspend. And for some of you the greatest joy is holding on to money. The wife says you're going to groceries with your wife, she puts a carton of milk and we need this much milk and you get the smaller milk. Can we wait Tom tells us there's a sale.
It's eggs, can you not be cheap with the heck
there are people who hold back from the the ones they deserve, from the ones who deserve your children deserve some money. They need some some change. Something that you know, to get by your wife deserves some money. If she's taking care of the household and she's not working. And she asked you I need you know, can I have? You know 50? What do you need for? Give me a complete report. Show me all the receipts Wait, hold on a second. This is let me up through. That might be your challenge. You want to get close to a lot. Don't make your family feel like garbage every time they you know they eat something. The best money you can spend is on your family. Don't do that to your family.
But don't overspend either there are others who are just blowing cash. And you know Allah has given you a little bit of wealth and you're getting your, your your 16 year old a BMW that they can crash into the side of the street and then you get them another one and no, you can't do that either. There are people who have a balanced approach to their finances. Let me use me for what I'm up to what kind of identical karma and they find an upright balanced way to stay in between those two. And those are beloved to Allah May Allah make us of them. This is my favorite one. The next group, listen to this is all one group. We live in LA Runa Marina, what is
what is known for
those who don't call other along with a law any other God. And while they don't call any other God besides Allah, they don't kill anyone.
And they don't commit adultery. Three things. They don't worship anyone other than Allah. They don't call on anyone other than Allah combined with it. They don't commit murder, and they don't commit adultery.
Three things together. That's not an amazing accomplishment. So when you can say, hey, maybe down the list, I haven't killed anyone.
But you know why this is special? Because this seems like very basic, doesn't it? Those are major sins. And Allah says, you can be special before a lot if you just do this. Why is this special? For some people think about the people in America.
Think about the society in which the crime came. Those people were doing [???] for 1000s of years.
Murder became common among those Xena was nothing. The stuff that is so bad for us was no big deal to them. And it wasn't a big deal for their parents or their parents or their parents. It was just part of life. It was a gangster life.
And when they walked away from all of it to come to a law firm, did their family to say, okay, you're Muslim. Now, congratulations.
They went through all kinds of horrible experiences, from their loved ones from their society, from their peers, because they abandoned those crimes, isn't it? For some people simply taking the Shahada simply walking away from the crime, from criminal life? simply getting away from center is so huge. For those of you that have been brought up in respectable families have been surrounded by a good environment. It's easy for you to not get into that kind of trouble, or easier. Nowadays, anything's easy. But for those of you that came up, you weren't even Muslim. You saw crime all around you. You saw drugs all around you. You saw womanizing all around you every every weekend was
at the club. And then you came to Allah, you took Shahada, your journey away from that life is a huge journey, and a life knowledge is it and says that's, that's a pretty big deal. Some people have done that.
They're, they're special just on that account. They don't know nothing else. They don't have no exhaustive knowledge, no exhaustive worship, but the fact that they can migrate, they make a lot for the sake of Allah. they migrated away from those major sins towards Allah, incredible.
But the mercy of a lion, these artists and done first of all those three things that I mentioned, share, and murder. You know, blasphemy with Allah and murder and adultery are major, major sin. So what does that let's say you law?
punishment will be doubled for such a person, and they will remain in it humiliated. these crimes are not small to Allah, especially the three of them combined. But by the way, the worst of all crimes ship is in this is
the second worst of all crimes. When you kill one person in this as though you've killed one.
All of humanity, that's the second greatest crime. And then the third greatest crime is why
all three together in one area, therefore law says this person is going to get some special kind of punishment. And they will be in that punishment humiliated remaining, they're in, but even the worst of the worst of the worst. This guy is not the worst, because he's done one thing. He's the worst because he's been How many? Three things three things. This is like, this is the hattrick of hellfire.
And what does the law say about him? He says Illinois in Illinois and taba. MANOVA amela.
Except somebody who repented,
and came to their faith came to faith. And from then on, acted in a good way.
I'll make an exception.
This is important to understand a lead describe the worst of the worst of the worst. And then said, even if that person if they come back to me,
I will not throw them in punishment. But that's not enough.
We're talking about a bad man, the unimaginably merciful, so he won't just spare them from hell. What does he do for you, but they would love to see it him kasana
then those people, Allah will replace their grandsons. And I remind you what their sins were shipped in the ship coloboma, Navin murder,
Adama Capella, NASA Jimmy is as though he killed all of humanity. And Xena adultery, major, major sins, Allah says I will replace their entire mountain of evil with good deeds in their favor.
They haven't done any good deeds yet. They haven't done any good deeds yet. They haven't prayed yet. They haven't worshiped yet. They haven't done 100 yet they haven't given charity and all they've done is repentant. And from now on, they're going to be do right. That is enough for Allah to take the mountains of sin that we're going to get them into hell forever humiliated and convert those mountains of sin into mountains of good deeds.
This is a lot for people October and you get to be special just look over. So as you're sitting here listening to this and thinking, well, I made some pretty big mistakes.
There may be somebody sitting in the audience that even committed murder and went to jail and then came out. How's it looking? Forgive me. Some of you have made the mistake of Xena May Allah protect you. Some of you are heading down that path. Some of you have committed ship. There's all kinds of crimes happening from people wanting to sit with
To the kind of [???].
And if you can make Toba and come back to Allah, all of that is gone. But you've got to keep straight after that. Well, I mean, I'm going on Sunday, but we like to see it. So in other words, when you come back to a light, it's got to be for real. You it can't be artificial. What kind of leftover food on Mahima Anima has always been forgiving, extremely forgiving, always loving, caring and merciful. I'm running out of time, but I do want to share a couple more things with you that I find. Let's just finish this list in Charlotte's It's almost done. Somebody says but I didn't do murder. I didn't do shoot. And I didn't do Zener I just did like little stuff like I miss fudger.
And, you know, I stole my brother's chocolate milk the other day from the fridge or
I think there's a couple of times I lost my temper with my dad. Or I think I did some backbiting the other day at a party.
But I didn't murder. I mean, this is this though buys for really bad criminals. What about me? What about regular centers like the rest of
you know, cuz it's high profile centers, isn't it? So the next is as the As for the rest of you? Well, when taba and whoever would make Toba any kind of open ended good enough to
come back to Allah sincere repentance also acknowledges that to look good to you don't have to first go rob a bank and then make Toba? No, no. Because I needed to be like mountains of evil converted to
chill Hey, hold on a second. Just make it over. whatever whatever intelligence you're into, for in Abuja to ilahi matava when the Dena liahona Zoo.
And people who don't witness literally says don't witness falsehood.
What that means is they don't stand by when something wrong is happening.
These people are special to Allah, because when in their family, somebody is being emotionally abused. Somebody is being financially abused. In their family, there's a there's two brothers went into a business. And one of them took all the money and never paid the other one back. And now they're in court fighting this that the other and you're related to the ones you're on one side against the other side, you will not stand quietly by and let injustice happen. You won't do it. Even if it's against your own dad. Even if it's against your own, you know, your own spouse, or your own child, you can stand idly by and stand for wrong. you'll speak up
and at least you won't be a silent partner to you'll walk away from it. I want nothing to do with this. I'm not going to be a part of it. You know, lions huduma Zoo they don't other meaning of it is they don't give false witness. They don't know you know, sometimes there's there's pressure on you to side with people who are wrong, you know, they're wrong. But they say things like families, family first man
on you know, bros first.
And if you do that if you have your loyalties in the wrong place, knowing that you're wrong, knowingly, then this is a violation of Latisha Luna zoo.
The second piece of it, what is our model we love We love Rukia Rahman also amazing. What makes you amazing to ally in this ayah
you're, you're in a gathering, you know, friends are hanging out or you're on a whatsapp group or something. There are different kinds of interaction today. And in those interactions, people are talking nonsense. People are backbiting against each other. They're making fun of each other. They're wasting each other's time. And you don't want anything to do with this.
So what do you do?
You leave the group but you don't give them a lecture first. By the way, this is all useless. You people are wasting your time. Stuck fiddle. I call you to a line to make Toba watch the following video. But and now I'm I'm out of this group. No.
Or you're at a party and you're like a statutory law. all y'all are doing diba I'm out of here. You know what it would be lovely. We murkier on when they pass by this kind of a gathering. When they happen to be in that kind of a situation. They get out of it in a dignified fashion. Maruca ramen. In other words, they maintain their own dignity. They don't end up falling into the kind of things that humiliate others and themselves. And in the process. They don't make anyone else feel bad either. They make a dignified, you know, respectable excuse and get themselves out of that situation where it will be lovely Maruyama
And finally, when levena it will be it won't be him lamesa it's not finally what I just said that can make you feel better. When the Lila is I look up to him. Let me do it how Solomon piano that's for everybody who attends Juma
when they are reminded
of the I art of the rub.
When they're given reminders,
they don't trip over those reminders, deaf and blind.
In other words, they don't ignore them. They don't take them lightly. They don't hear something and then say, yeah, that's talking about me that hit me right here in my conscience, but I'm gonna forget, I heard that
I'm gonna pretend that wasn't about me. And not think about it. They're not deliberately deaf. And they're not deliberately blind to the reminder that was given to them. It was about you. It was about what you're doing what you're up to. And you're now you can't deal with it because you don't want to change. But in Salou, you know, when you read in Santo Lee, if you're a mama, human beings just want to just don't dive right into the things in front of them. The temptation is too strong, and Quran, you know, it's about only new heights, people who hold you back the people that can hold themselves back, you're being reminded to hold yourself back and you're like, I don't want to hold
back and I felt pretty good. I already set up the, you know, the appointment, the date and time and place and bought the tickets already. And then the hookah ruin my mood, you know, so I'm just gonna go eat a burger and not think about what I just heard in the hopper, and then go where I was gonna go. Because it's too late already for me.
You know, they don't do that. These are people when they hear a reminder, they let let it impact them. They let it change them, that makes you special to Allah. By the way, sometimes that change that happens inside you, nobody sees it.
Nobody knows the sin you were heading towards. And nobody knows you changed course because you heard something from Allah. Nobody knows that that's between you and Allah. And Allah considers you from history. But because you made that change, we are less strengthen each and every one of you and myself to make those changes.
as we tie this up, this is actually the last one.
These are people who are now not only concerned about themselves, they're concerned about their families.
Valentina yaku, Nana habla aminos wodgina. Tina, Kolata? Are you then those who pray to Allah they said, they say to Allah Master, grant us from our spouses and our children. what's called the coolness of our eyes give us the coolness of our eyes, which means two things. I'll skip the technicalities and give you the simple understanding of correlate, are you. The first one means your law, everything else gives me stress. Everything else causes me trouble. But when I come to my spouse, and I come to my children, yeah, like give me this displace, I find my calm.
all my troubles disappeared. When I look at my spouse, all of my troubles disappear when I'm with my children. Yeah, like, give me that in my wife and my kids, or my husband and my kids for each side, you know? And then the other meaning of it comes from karate.
karate means when your eyes stay somewhere, yeah, Allah make me so in love with my wife, that I can't stop looking at her.
Yeah, let make me so in love with my children, and so happy with my children that I don't compare them to other.
I'm happy with what I have. I don't make them feel bad. I validate them. grant me the ability to find out are you in the spouse and in the child.
Give me a strong family and make me content with my family. Make them a source of peace for my family, you know, for all for a lot of you. The only stress is wife and kids.
This is the only stress relief he'll be wife and kid.
And you have to you don't just ask a love for something and not work on it. Because the love will not like descend some kind of special rain that drenches on your family. And now all of a sudden you love your wife. It takes work. It takes work to fix the relationship you have with your children. It doesn't happen overnight. It's something that you and I have to invest into. So May Allah grant us the ability to not only make that job but to live by that because Allah will ask us, you know, even in that famous robina Latina Nia Santa Fe, affinity hustle Casa Latina, Davina famous law, right? Give us the best in this life, the best in the next life. protect us from the Hellfire, the
punishment of the hellfire. What do we see right after that? What does Allah say right after that, that
they will have the portion they actually earned. You don't just make dry and not work, you got to earn it. You got to put your work in. So when you're going to ask Allah to give you peace in your family, when you're going to be concerned about that. And by the way, what does that mean husbands that are hanging out until 230 in the morning at some shisha place in London, and not going home to their wife, because they don't find content. The wife is not finding any contentment in them and they're not finding contentment in their life. When they say no, no bruv I got to go back home.
Then they're special to Allah. When they're spending time with their kids, their eyes
Moving from their kids the the fact that your eyes are moving from your kitchen means you're actually with them.
The fact that you're spending time with your kids and enjoying doing that is actually in and of itself making us special before I love
these people and make us a mom over Motoki may make us leaders over righteous people, you know, give them a good righteous life so that when I stand in front of you y'all love that you know, I'm my deeds are only increased by the people that are in my family.
So now after all of this would I include his own word, Fatah be mastaba. Those are the people that are going to be given high, lofty palaces. Because of the patience they demonstrated. notice a lot here it says because of the patients they demonstrated. If you go back to this list, those who hold their tongue when ignorant people talk to them, they're humble, and they hold their tongue. Those who worship no one other than a lot, those who are, you know, they worship ally in the middle of the night, the list that we just went through. Each one of them requires perseverance and strength and grit and commitment. And that's the word Southern, those people are going to be rewarded because of
the commitment they showed. They were committed to this. This is what I can use on a pottery masamoto when you look at the Hilton salon, and they're going to be met in those palaces in genda. They're going to be met with greetings and peace. Allah azza wa jal sun salutations to them, not just about love them, I was honoring them now. These are specially awarded people by Allah, Holly denorfia, Mustafa Rama Carmen, they will remain in that incredible honor. And those incredible lofty high palaces, what a What an amazing place to be for a little while and forever.
So contrasting it with Johanna, right and me said I don't want to be there for a little bit. I don't want to be there forever. Alyssa is the taste of Jenna. If you could even have a little bit, you'd want it. What to speak of forever, Eliza would enter all of us into Jenna forever. And so the last idea and this is I know I'm going over my time, I'm supposed to give you guys some time for questions also. But I'll need seven, eight minutes. Maybe this last is profound. This is the last I have the sooner. And the last I have this entire passage, it has nothing to do with the list that makes you special. It's a turn back to the flourish and to all of humanity. And the Prophet is told
now that they've been given this list of how to get close to God.
What is the what is the problem called Maya Kumara been
conducting? Buddhism, there are several ways to look at this, I want to share simply some of them with you because of the shortage of time I won't go into the language. I'll just share the implications just in English. allies, on the one hand, saying what wait do you have in front of Allah? What are you worth in front of Allah? What do you think when you come before Allah? What value will you have? Had it not been for the fact that you as human beings, were given the responsibility that nobody else was given to outcome? You were to call on Allah?
You were to make the choice to call on Allah, the mountain, the tree, the bird, they don't have a choice they call on a lot anyway. What
are some people will be handy when I cannot have
you? Why do you Why are you valuable to Allah, if not, for one thing, the fact that you were chosen to call on him.
But you abandoned that responsibility, because
you consider that invitation to call on Him ally. For Sofia, journalism, then this is going to come in this is this, this punishment will not leave you. This is going to be something you won't be able to escape. That's the first implication.
The other implication is Allah is telling you, the disbelievers and those who have been doing all the things, you have no value before me. And the only reason you are still surviving Is there a few among you who still called me?
There's still a few believers left on the earth, who still make us that far to a lot and they're the only reason you're still surviving.
Now third implication is Allah has no even for the carpet, and for the Muslim who is far away from Allah, he should listen to this and she should listen to this to Allah says, What value do I have of you, you don't pray, you don't obey. You don't stay with the halaal you violate everything. But in moments of desperation, you still call me and I still value at least that much about you. I'm still giving you a chance, no another outcome.
But you overall, you've still considered everything else valueless, you don't give you don't confirm that everything else that I've given you and asked you to do is actually meaningful for you. You consider all of the rest of it useless a lie. And you better change your ways, because soon this will become a permanently sticking punishment. Allah doesn't say you will be punished. He says soon you'll be punished. Soon you won't be able to escape it meaning right now you
still have a chance, turn around,
then an implication
what would make you people what is valuable? Had it not been that Allah has called you with the Quran, Allah has honored you with this book. And by extension, Allah has honored you and me with this brand.
And yet you dismiss it altogether. You don't care for this book, this message that Allah gave you, you better turn, turn, turn back and recognize the value of Allah choosing to speak to you.
The final implication
that a lot of xojo does not want to punish you. My legal implication another linguistic implication of It is Allah is not interested in punishing you. He has no desire and no intention of punishing you. Except the crimes you've committed of calling someone other than a law are so huge.
That needs to be punished. In other words, Allah is punishing you even though he doesn't want to know if Allah will be either become Allah gets nothing out of punishing you what is going to get out of punishing you. Allah is saying here, I don't want to punish you, but your crimes are too too big.
So and soon that will become permanent right now it's temporary, you can erase it. So please turn back, turn back to Allah. After giving us all these opportunities to not just come back to him, but be the closest to him. Finally, he says Why do you want to get punished? I don't want to punish you. Just come back. May Allah azza wa jal help us internalize that in our hearts and make us of those who because of them, the people around you that are in sin, the people around you that are disobeying Allah, they all their hearts also soften and they come back towards a larger region as well. barakallahu li walakum filco Hakeem when a fight anyone can be it would be a salamati.
Alright, so I'll start with the most fun question. What's the halaal way of approaching a girl you like?
Even though that's Question number 12. I thought you know.
So this is more complicated. The meat we've made it more complicated than the Sahaba.
So the Sahaba were simple people. And they came from a very rebellious society, where men and women did all kinds of things and nobody cared. And then Islam came. And I want to give you some background here. You know, in Medina when the Sahaba migrated, the Mahajan were bankrupt, nearly right, they left everything behind.
And Medina was a crazy place right now what's Madina? munawwara Medina back then was Las Vegas. It was bad. When the Prophet went there, it was not a good place. Okay, you have to understand it was a crazy, crazy society. For instance, one of the most common industries in the city of Medina was prostitution. When the Prophet move, there's lots of them. And the women that were there were brothels like prostitution houses, they used to have flags outside their house, that this is a place you can come for those kinds of things.
And a companion comes to the profit slice on them, and says, yo, sola, there's a woman, because he doesn't make any money. So
it was a woman, she makes good money, I'd like to marry her.
And what does she do?
Oh, well, you know, she's in the
you know what I'm saying?
I'm not gonna spell it out. You know why I'm telling you this. Because to have I didn't even know that's a bad thing yet.
They were also learning, weren't they? They didn't become angels overnight. They were being developed. And so he doesn't even think and imagine you come to ask this question. Can you imagine somebody coming to any mom today and say, Hey, so I'm thinking about
And then the IOD came? No, you cannot marry those kinds of women in sort of,
like revelation came to teach Sahaba and teach the believers look, those are not the kinds of people you want to marry, they are their own, you know, don't mix with them. You know, like, if no
luck, no luck in history, that is referring to professional prostitutes and design, he will not marry as he's referring to them. Because the question was actually raised. I wanted to bring this up to you because for them, you would think that, you know, if the Sahabi saw a woman from a mile away, he went the other way and made a step out of the whole night. No, it wasn't like that. they interacted with each other, they talk to each other. They worked with each other. They were in business partnerships. All kinds of interactions happen between men and women but with principles. It was respectful. It was dignified. And when our companion when when somebody likes somebody else,
you know what they did? Here's the little love heart. Here's what they did. Hey, I like you
want to get married?
And she'd say,
maybe talk to my dad.
And then you go to that and say, Hey, I like your daughter.
And she's, I mean, I talked to her she's not entirely opposed to the idea. Is it cool? And he says, Let me talk to my daughter.
how this happens today in London.
As you go to a girl, respectfully, hey, we worked together for three years.
Would you consider marrying me?
And she's like, oh.
And maybe she says, Please don't talk to my dad, he'll kill me.
Because if you talk to my dad, he'll say, this is why you go to work. This is why we take you to uni. Like,
you fathers. I have four daughters. I have four daughters. Listen, those of you that are fathers that have daughters, you sent your daughters to university. You brought your daughters to this country. You made them live here, you brought you took them outside in society, you made that decision. And when somebody like a Muslim likes them, that's a good thing.
How are they going to get married, sitting at home? Who's gonna like them? So when somebody approaches them in a respectful way, you should not say oh, my God, the day has come and stuff for the law. You know, you didn't be dictated Oh,
you know what a humiliation. Now we have to go take you back into Bangladesh and hide you in a village somewhere because some guy likes you stuck in a law, you know, and there's a, you know, somebody can Rukia on her and calm down. It's okay. You're somebody likes your daughter. That's a good thing. Now you go and investigate, find out. It's completely fine. The only rishta mentioned in the Quran. The only approach mentioned in the Quran is that of Musa alayhis salam imagine
he was by himself, Musa was by himself. And these girls were by themselves working outside, and he went up to them and helped them out. And the girl said, He's kind of nice.
And she can she went back to her dad and said, hire him, which means Come on, dad. You know.
And the girl said, I like the guy. That's actually what happened in the story I propose the girl proposed.
And the father can propose unless he has the approval of his daughter.
So it's okay for your girls to see that. There's this guy. This brother at the MSA
is a Thursday halaqa is really good. You should come. Your daughter's telling you something. It's okay. Go attend the Hanukkah.
It's okay. Find out. Don't complicate this. There's nothing in dignified about that. Don't go date a girl now. I don't take Oh, so no one who will take you out to dinner? No, no, no. Not that either. But can you have respectful interaction with someone you're interested in for marriage? Absolutely. Absolutely. Nothing wrong with that. Can you take your time to understand each other's likes and dislikes? Yes, it's fine. respectful. courtship is okay. With parental guidance. With in dignified fashion. There's nothing wrong with it. So what happens is we have two extremes. We have people that are more conservative than the Sahaba.
And then we have people that are more liberal than liberals.
Okay, and the Islam is right in between. It's a natural way. It's a completely natural way. Okay. And so this is something that I thought it's important to mention for families and for yourself, talk to your daughters. Ask if they like someone,
don't create a between fathers and daughters that should be open communication, they should not be terrified to tell you that they're interested in somebody. Don't force them to marry someone they don't want to don't force your daughters and tell them if you don't marry this one who's gonna come and marry you? And you have to we already said yes to them. Don't humiliate the family and say, No, no, those kinds of costs are wrong. I will say they're wrong. You cannot emotionally and psychologically forced the girl to get married under family pressure, that is baffling.
And that happened at the time of the Prophet slice on them. And the Prophet sighs I'm considered those niggas bothered. They're, they're invalid. Because until the girl genuinely likes the guy and says, Yes, I want to marry him on her own. From no pressure from her father. No pressure from her mother, no pressure from anybody else. He likes them. And even if the day of the kneecap she says, Mom, I don't want to do this. The mother doesn't say too late girl too late.
We've got the hall there all what are people gonna know if the girl says I don't want to do this and no, stop. Allah gave her that right. You cannot take it away. You're burying them alive. This is the new way of burying women alive by the way. Back then they used to take the baby girl and burial right then now we bury them at the day of the nikka this is what we do. This needs to stop. Let them marry who they want. If they're a dignified Muslim, and because now you're living in a different society. You won't find someone from the same village It's okay.
It's okay Bangladeshi can marry a Syrian. It's fine.
Somali that's fine
you know, as an Arab Messiah is an arrow or actually not a no he's from Israel and he married an Arab he went embedded in Medina many
so many Arabs are we only marry Arab? Really Masada was actually in
support that, you know.
It's all good.
So it's it's a time now it's a strange time that we live in. And actually the only thing that can save us is the basic principles of our Deen and getting facilite. Making the path to marriage easy, is actually one of the greatest battles against shavonne. When we make the path to marriage difficult when you have 28 3030 I'm not going to do other questions forgetting let's just talk about this. What am I gonna do? Why would I have 35 year old boys not married?
You What do you think they were doing? for 35 years?
What planet Do you live on?
They didn't do anything wrong. No evil thoughts when in their head. They didn't go to university they didn't go to work.
2829 year olds not being married. This is ridiculous. It's absolutely absurd. It's unacceptable. It's unacceptable. And we create standards that don't exist in our in our religion. And don't make any sense. You have three daughters, four daughters, somebody proposed for the younger daughter. And no proposal came for the older daughter. No, no, no, no, no, we go in order.
Who said you go in order? What should you if there's a good blessing that came to your home for whichever age? How would you deny it? What will people say? What will Allah say when you explain yourself to him and say I deprived my daughter of a good nikka because it wasn't an order. What will you say to Allah you tell me that?
What are you going to do? Ridiculous. This nonsense needs to stop. Marriage needs to be made easy. And the guy sign because Hindu tradition says the guy is the gift. So the girl side has to give him gifts.
Islam came in said the man has to give what
the man has to give a gift. The woman is a gift to the family. And now we do in Pakistan, India, Bangladesh, Southeast Asia. No, no, we don't want j Hayes. We don't want gifts from the girls side. But there should be something at least a fridge
that that is the opposite of what Allah commanded. That is the opposite of what a lucky man you're not only disobeying the law you're reversing what Allah said.
asking to pay to be gifted because you're the girl you know the guy side.
That's like way beyond I don't even know what the category that belongs in the ship on is giving you like five stars for that one. Do not fall into that category.
Don't give your daughter in laws and your wives gifts and then ask for them back.
Now this is happening. They'll give them jewelry at the wedding. Well that was just for the photos.
Really, Allah azza wa jal will describe this. You know nada como minuti una hobo Donna Islam Rubina don't take a single thing from the spouse that you've given to them. Are you taking a huge accusation against your own self and taking clear sin on yourself? When you agree to a map?
You know, nowadays this the fashion is they don't discuss the matter until the day of the nikka or the minute of the nikka. Before then, when the map comes up, they say, Oh, it's family. It's okay. We'll work it out. Okay.
And then the time comes, and then the girl saw as 50,000.
And look, the guy was poor guy was anybody I didn't get stuck in is like 50,000.
And then his uncle whispers in his ear, it's okay. Nobody pays it.
If you have no intentions of paying, your nigga has invalid.
If you have intentions of asking your wife to forgive them, you're committing a grave sin.
You can't even ask for a discount.
You cannot you're not allowed.
You can't and you can't give it when you know you decide. She decides when it's given. That's her right. That's what validates the marriage don't agree to a man you can't afford. Don't agree to a man have you can't you have no intention of paying don't agree to a vow that you intend to get forgiven. Oh, if you love me, you would have forgiven it. Why do you Why does money have to prove that I love you? Because it's my head.
And because you can't use that kind of language for input when Allah commands me Hosea
If they have their own freewill out of the goodness of their own heart, decide to give you some of it. Like you gave the, the, you know, the 1000 for the month to her of the rehab. And she says, here's here's two pounds, get yourself an ice cream. That's up to her. She wants to do that she could do that. But you cannot that's not your money. That is not your money. These things, why am I highlighting these random things? These are the things that we have introduced into the institution of marriage, making marriage difficult. And when you make marriage difficult, the door to Zina is wide open.
The door to corruption is wide open.
It's unnatural to think that an 18 year old 1920 year old guy or girl are going to be in university, and they're going to be there for five, six years and not develop any emotional attachments.
And then for them to randomly marry a cousin back in Lahore.
That's not going to happen. And if it does happen, it's a form of oppression because she's emotionally attached to somebody else. And no man wants to be with a woman who's emotionally attached to somebody else, or vice versa. It's oppression. Sometimes you're denying and nica only because it wasn't you. You didn't come up with it. The guy says I like the girl. No, you will pick you will marry who we say
y who said it's a mistake. I don't like it.
I don't like that girl. That's not your problem. That's his problem. He's an adult. Now let him make that mistake. If it's a horrible mistake, so be it. But a lot of gave those young men and women the right to pick who they want. Parents can give advice. Yes. But when you try to control what your children are doing, it will only lead to disaster. It will only only lead to disaster. I'm not giving license to 12 year olds and 14 year olds is that what's that? No move that I could marry whoever I want. No. I'm talking about mature adults. I mean, I've met young women that are 2526 year old accomplished in their careers, pharmacists, physicians, you name it, and they like somebody and
they want to marry them. family says no, that is absolutely nothing else can describe it. That is if a woman says she wants to marry someone and he's a Muslim, there's no reason for you to stop it. You have no right as a family to stop it. This is wrong of you to do, you're abusing a right that Allah gave you abusing it. It should it should not happen. And for young men last bit of advice is for young men become men. earn a living, be dignified. don't offer like dates for man.
How we used to get what in what other things are you as a hobby.
Other than the kid cat you want to give for my head. You
know, be dignified, you know, earn a decent living for yourself. Don't say I like it. I don't have a job. But I don't know. They're only her family's only interested in dunya. Yeah, that's why we have
only interested in dunya you're supposed to be concerned about dunya too. When I attend Santa Ciba camino dunia attended Quran, don't forget the portion you are owed in this life.
It's a worldly decision to it's not just a spiritual decision. How is somebody going to provide for my daughter? Where's she going to live? Is she going to live a decent life? These are respectable questions. These are decent questions. So these things we have to take very, very seriously in our communities. And when it comes to the subject of marriage, I didn't talk today about what happens after marriage because there's a whole set of learning we do after marriage, that for another time, I'll yell at you another time. But right now, let's just fix fix the institution itself. Let's make marriage easy for our young people. Especially the ones that are ready and capable. You know,
Minnesota, I mean, como la Tania, Tessa, whoever among us capable, let them get married. capability capabilities there. No other barrier should be there. And for those of you that will find this controversial, it's okay. I'm leaving here anyway, soon so that you you deal with it and troll me on the on the on online. So I'll tell you if you're if your son wants to marry somebody who just took Shahada yesterday,
right, or the girl wants to marry a guy who just became Muslim a week ago or something? And you say, Well, he only became Muslim because he wants to marry the girl. It's not a real Shahada. Who decides what a real Shahada is?
Can you tell why something happens? When Osama you know the famous narration of Osama came that he was about to kill someone in battle. In battle, he's about to kill someone and the guy false, loses the enemy loses his sword. And he's about to strike him down. And he says a Chateau La La Jai de la jolla. He took Shahada became Muslim.
Did he become Muslim because when he fell down, it hit him really hard on the head. And all of a sudden Islam started making sense. He's like, hold on a second. I think that we need to stop this and I'm ready to be Muslim. Now.
Obviously, he took Shahada because he knows Muslims don't kill each other.
So he took advantage of the opportunity because he's losing if he was the one
On top, he wouldn't have taken Shahada Woody.
So he's on the bottom and he take Shahada and Osama sees it and says she Yeah, right.
They killed him.
And when that happens,
this news reaches the Prophet sighs
that he is it obvious like 1,000% the guy took Shahada for the wrong reason. It's obvious to anybody who sees it. The Prophet says, What will you do when that light comes for you on Judgement Day?
That's what the prophet said. That Shahada will complain on judgment day I wasn't respected.
And that's in the most obvious of cases, when somebody says they've taken Shahada. Who are you to question their reasons? That's between them and Allah.
It's okay. As a matter of fact, even among the Sahaba, there were those somebody said, I want to marry you and the woman was Muslim and the guy was non Muslim. And she said, You're not Muslim. To become Muslim. She says, Okay, fine. I need to be Muslim, and he got married. Then.
He married he took Shahada for a woman. Yeah, but the Prophet was okay with it. Why are you having a problem with it?
The Sunnah is okay, you're more Sunni than the Sunnah.
You know? So what you need to do now, what you and I need to do is understand that we are in a challenging time. And our children are exposed to the worst kinds of haraam are no big deal. Now. They're accessible. They're easy, and they're not hard to fall into. And in that environment, when the opportunity for nikka is there, please. It is a grave crime for us to deny that opportunity to consider Of course, give your children advice. I think this is a bad nicop For this reason, this reason, this reason, but the decision is yours.
The decision is yours. You have to share sincere advice and you know, you do, but at the end of the day, they'll have to make their decision. And if it was a bad decision, so be it. It's that's okay, too. That's still their mistake to make. That's a better mistake than the mistakes they will make outside of marriage. You understand that? Right? And that you won't even know about and you will tell yourself No, no, my son, my daughter, they would never really, really because because you come from like an angel family. Your son and daughters don't have hormones. They don't have emotions. They don't have attachments. They don't have obsessions. They don't have temptations they do. Don't
be deluded into thinking he's a good boy though. He prays Yeah, what is prayer gonna do?
What is prayer if you say nothing hard, in fact, he will mooncup that works to an extent.
But Allah created us within a fedora you're denying that fitrah so this is I know I went on a rant but I felt like I had to do it. As much as make marriages easy for our community and bless the marriages that are happening. May Allah azza wa jal give the husbands the strength of character and the understanding to be good husbands and the wives the kind of commitment, loyalty and understanding to be good wives, and thus raise wonderful families. barakallahu li walakum. That's the end of the question and answer session, Salaam Alaikum.