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Forgotten Manners

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Nouman Ali Khan

Channel: Nouman Ali Khan

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

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I want you to go through the whole Quran with me. Join [email protected]

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Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah he a Latina who want to stay no who want to start Pharaoh? When we know we want to talk about a when I wrote to Bella him and Sheree and fusina woman sejati emelina when you have the hula hula mobila woman you believe Kala hajela when a Chateau de la ilaha illallah wa sallahu la sharika when a shadow under Mohammed Abdullah he was solo Allahu la junta Allah Buddha verdienen Huck the Hara who Allah de Nicola he water fabula he shahida for sallallahu alayhi wa seldom at the Sleeman Cathedral and kathira Abed, for in the obstacle hijikata la vida de hodja Mohammed in sallallahu alayhi wa sallam were in a short run, moody Matata to her were in Nakula

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desert in VEDA wakulla biotin La la la, la la la la la, la la, Allah Allah azza wa jal de

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la Rosa Billahi min ash shaytani r Rajim

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Latina Amano, la tarde, Hulu and Hydra booty competitors technicial what to sell the more Allah Li her daddy come hydro la comida en la quinta karoon for Atlanta GDP has had an [email protected] will include a combo zero for juru who has gala con la will be mapped out by Luna and he published his summary assembly Emily Wagner Dr. Tammy lasagna, Coco de la Mata Bittner en de la TV La ilaha illallah wa ala homage and Amina Latina Amano, I'm so sorry, hat, whatever, so be happy, whatever. So the sub manera bonide, I mean, so to know is one of the most beautiful surah of the Quran, it was revealed to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam later on in the madonie period. So it's one of

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the later sutras to be revealed, arguably, maybe of the 23 years that the Quran was revealed 16 or 17 years have already passed when this surah is revealed. So it's very much in the middle of the Macan, or the Madani era of the prophets careers a little hard to set up. And it's at that time that we are in the middle of different wars, so offered, arguably has already happened. And this is either right before or right after sutala Zab, which means the the trench when we were surrounded when Medina was surrounded, and they were, you know, 1000s of tribes of Arabia, that came together with Mecca and said, well, let's just go and kill everybody in Medina. And that way, not because

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they were enemies of Islam, because they figured if we kill everybody in Medina, they're enemies to the Americans, but we can make easy money. So we'll take all their homes will take all their property and stuff like that. So they were okay with this genocide, basically. And so they gather together to try to annihilate the city of Medina. But in the middle of all of that, that's how you see the enemy on the outside. That's the enemy on the outside in the middle of all of that Koran revealed sort of news. And so to news deals with problems not out from the outside, it deals with the enemy on the inside. It deals with hypocrites, for example, it also deals with social values.

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How does the Muslim community how what principles do they have to live by, so they don't become a bunch of hypocrites? Right, because a healthy body if you don't take care of it, it's gonna get sick. Just like that I have a Muslim community has to be healthy. And if you don't take care of it, if you don't take certain precautions, if you don't make sure certain measures are taken, certain Prevention's are in place, then that society is going to become sick. Right? So Allah revealed a number of things in the sutra that keep Muslim, the Muslim Omar from getting sick from the inside. And of course, if you think about someone who has to fight an outside enemy, if the body itself is

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sick, if you're weakened, if your body itself is an enemy to you, it's attacking you from within, you're not able to face the enemy on the outside, because you're weakened from the inside already. Right. So the core endocrine wisdom, there are some soldiers that deal with the enemy enemy on the outside. And then he deals with the enemy on the inside. Similarly, what some of you that are following along with my lecture series on suit Allah Emraan Allah talks about the Battle of God, which is the enemy on the outside. And right after that, he says, don't consume Riba don't give each other loans, that you want more money back than you gave, because your loan sharking and you're

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taking advantage of somebody else's, you know, the, you know, desperation, don't do that don't make money off of money. And the reason that's mentioned right after is you just dealt with an enemy on the outside. Now don't do things that make you enemies of Allah from within your society also. So there's the outside and the inside, right? So that's one thing you should know about Soto nude, it's dealing with what keeps a Muslim oma and what keeps the Muslim community from becoming sick. The middle of this surah the very heart of the surah is actually one of the most beautiful passages in the Quran, describing Allah Himself. Allah says Allah is the light of the skies in the earth, Allah

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who knows somehow it will. And one of the reasons One of the ways you can appreciate that is all of the rules that Allah gave in this surah they're one of their purposes is to preserve a lot of light in our hearts.

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Like, if you abide by these rules, then the light that Allah has put inside of you, that connects you to him will be preserved. And if you if you don't take these laws, particularly the laws of pseudo nude, these instructions, if you don't take them seriously, there's going to be a darkness inside you. And there's going to be a darkness around you and me, in our in our community also it's going to spread. So one such thing. I mean, there's many things that are talked about a certain mood. But one such regulation is what I wanted to dedicate this whole budget. And it seems like an unrelated thing, but it's very much related to the state of our hearts and the state of our own

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mind, the state of you know,

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where we stand with Allah. So Allah azza wa jal says, I'll translate now the ayah. I said in the beginning of the Hooda, he says, Yeah, you have Latina Amanullah, Hulu, Chandra BeautyCon, had data stagnation. He says, Those of you who have faith, those of you who claim to believe, don't enter homes that are not your own, unless you can sense that you are wanted. Now the basic idea is, obviously you don't walk into somebody else's house until you ring the bell, or until you knock on the door. Or even if you see the door open, you don't just walk in. Right, that's, that's crazy. But that's actually happened to me. But

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you know, somebody, I used to live next door to a machine. And I used to get called by there regularly. And I lived next door, and my door was half a little bit open, because my daughter was playing and she was going in and out. So she left it half open. And some fellow just literally walked into my house, just all the way in, I'm looking for another new one.

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And I, the first thing I did is push him out of my house, and close the door behind him. And I said that's not what you do. This is not a restaurant. This is not this is not the machine. This is not an airport. It's not a public building. It's somebody's house, they deserve privacy. Right. So you can't just walk into somebody's home. Obviously, that's not some Islamic rule. That's just everybody knows that it's common sense. But a lot goes a step above, not just saying you should knock on the door, or you should get permission before you enter or nowadays ring the bell or whatever else right? Or you know the buzzer, or show yourself on the camera, whatever way you have of getting

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inside. But instead he adds not had that Lino until you seek permission, which is obvious. He said that that initial until you can sense that you are wanted. In other words, you have a friend, you know that he goes to work comes home at eight o'clock, he's probably tired, and he's going to have dinner, maybe some time with his family. And by 10 o'clock, he's probably going to pass out, you should have the sense to know that at two in the morning, you should not be Hey, bro, I was wondering if you want to hang out and go outside his house and knock on his door. And then when he comes out like this, you say, it's not a bad time, right?

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You should have the common sense to know that that's not a time when you are wanting that's not an appropriate time. Or for, for instance, you know that the husband is at work, or they're gone. That's not a time for you to show up when you know, only the wife is at home, or only the kids are at home, and then show up and say hey, I wanted to drop something off, you know, drop it off at a time when you're actually wanted. So first of all have the sense of when is it appropriate to go to somebody's home. The remarkable thing, you know, there are multiple words in Arabic for homes. You can say Moroccan you can say Dr. You can also say boo youth and the word bait, which is a common

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word for home actually comes from the verb data. And data means to spend the night. Okay, so somebody engages in the the act of bait that means they spent the night somewhere Our home is called our home, because we spend the night there. And the idea behind the word bait is the night is a time for great privacy. Even the sky offers us privacy at night. So the idea being not just that you don't go to somebody's home when you're not wanted, but actually don't enter into people's privacy. When you know it's not wanted, don't pry into people's lives by showing up or by poking. Nowadays, our homes are also virtual, for example, it's not just that you have a home with a door and curtains

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on the window that protects your privacy. Now your home is on your phone, you're dealing with home matters on your phone, you're talking to somebody, you're exchanging WhatsApp messages, or whatever. And your friend comes over from behind your shoulder and he's like,

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you know, just kind of poking over what you're doing.

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That's private, that's part of their home now, don't just peek into somebody else's private matters unless you are what you're wanted, unless it's wanted of you. So the idea of preserving privacy of the other. The idea of preserving privacy of the other is where this conversation starts. That's not the only instruction in this ayah it's the first instruction of this ayah and it's actually means that you shouldn't you should you know

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Your circle the people you are involved with the people whose homes you go to the people, you are befriending the people you talk to all the time, they are people, the kinds of questions you ask them, or the kinds of conversations you have with them, you should have the sense to know should I even be asking this question? Is that is that a wanted question? Like, you know, some people, they'll, they'll go to a married couple that's been married for a few years, and they'll go to them. So when are you going to have a baby?

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Right? Is that? Is that a question they want? Is that something they want to hear? You know, or when you get when you want your daughter to get married? Because he's getting old? You know, is that a wanted question, you know, or, you know, somebody has been out of a job. So still no job, huh.

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These are not wanted questions, you should have the sense that if they let you into their home, they let you into their safe place, that your tongue and your eyes are actually not going to cause them any harm. That the things you say that the conversations you have are safe for them. That's why they let you into their sanctuary. So people within a certain circle in your life, you have to be safe for them, and they have to be safe for you. Now the thing with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is people loved him so much, that they almost forgot that he's also a person.

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Though when they see him, they just want to ask him a question. Right? It doesn't matter how tired he is, or what he just came from, or how many things he's just dealt with. They just want to talk to him. So Sahaba would come over to his house all the time. And when you're sitting with the prophets lie, some of you don't want to leave. Right? You just want to stay. And the prophets lifetime is too nice to tell them to leave. So they're sitting there, and they're talking to the Prophet. And he's answering them, and he's talking back to them. And he's giving them responses. And he's being a courteous host. Until Quran came and said, Get out. You're disturbing His Messenger. He was too nice

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to say it himself. He wouldn't say it himself, and ally reveal to the Sahaba. You can't do that to him, you need to leave, you need to observe his privacy too. You need to observe his courtesy also, you know, similarly in social gatherings, let me tell you this simple etiquette of this st. Ignace. Allah says this about people going into people's homes, but it goes further than that. Like, for example, if you're, you know, you're sitting at a dinner, two people are having a conversation, right? And there's a lot of people having different conversations, but two people are having a conversation. And you see this one of these people is someone you know, what do you do? You

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interrupt their conversation.

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And the person they're already talking to her, like, What just happened? And they don't get us around? Because you don't know them? This, this one gets us up and you start a new conversation with them. As if that conversation didn't matter. There was no estate notice. There was no courtesy, or is this wanted right now? Is this interruption, okay? Because you can let them know that you're here. They have peripheral vision, they can see that you're there. And they can say to the friend they're having a conversation with Hold on a second, let me just say Salaam to this one. I know him or her and they say Salaam and then they come back to this conversation. That's courtesy, isn't it?

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So the idea of head that establishes a very powerful one, it's actually taking into consideration are Am I Are you being disruptive? Are we being rude? Are we being intrusive? Are we too curious about somebody else's personal life? When we're having conversations with them? Are we saying things that are not? They wouldn't want us to say those kinds of things or asked us those kinds of questions. That's actually part of the sense that's captured inside that destiny. So then Allah goes a step further. So don't enter homes that aren't yours until you want it and then he says what to sell Lima to solimo Allah Allah is an us don't walk in until you say Salaam to the whole family. To

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the people that live in that home, you say Salaam to them? Salama Allah, He to say Salaam Alaikum. But it's much more than that, isn't it? Saying Assalamu alaikum means what? I am declaring that I I want peace and safety for all of you. I want a lot of peace to come on you a lot. I want the angels peace to cut to descend on you. And for sure. I have nothing but peace for you. So I'm not coming into your home together private information that I'm going to use at some other party. You know what I found out when I went to their house? Mm hmm. Then you're not safe. Once you said salon, you're not there with prying eyes. You're not there to probe. You're not there to cause any sort of harm.

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You know, sometimes there are people that are friends with each other, or they're part of a social circle. But on the inside, they all hate each other. But they still all go to the same weddings. And they still also at the same tables, and they still

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like us and I hate your guts. I can't stand you. But there's like smiley salons and pictures being taken. And then later on, you know what this one was wearing? You know what they were saying? You know who they were sitting with? You know what, oh my god. It's like enemies on a battlefield. But it's all happening on text messages. It's all happening on back back end conversations. The moment you say Salaam to someone's family

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You walk in, whether it's their wedding, you know, gathering or it's some article or some thought or whatever, when you go to somebody's house and use that slab, then nothing from your tongue in front of them or behind them, nothing with your eyes or your thoughts can be something unsafe for them. Allah says don't even walk into their home if that's not your intention. Don't even walk into their home. First of all, go when you're wanted. And second of all, make sure you're a source of peace for that family and declare it by saying a Salam or Aleikum that Salaam is a big thing. It's a It's a promise you made. And I remind you one of the one of the final instructions of Allah in the Quran,

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Sultan, Allah, Allah says, Yeah, you Hello, Lina. Amen. Oh, for

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those of you who have faith, fulfill binding agreements, you and I have to remember the fact of saying a Salam or Aleikum is a binding agreement.

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It's actually a binding agreement. When you say Salaam to someone, you are saying, I will have never caused you harm. I declared that I don't want to cause you any harm. You're safe with me. This is actually like the Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam as a Muslim woman, Solomon nazmul, Hassan II, the Muslim is the one from whom the people are safe from his hands and his tongue. Right. And the word Salima is from the same Salaam, and Muslim and Solomon as militia and he weighed in even the word Muslim comes from there, the idea of being Muslim, one of its meanings is also the one who offers peace, the one who offers safety. So in our social gatherings, we have to

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develop a new kind of sensitivity. And if you are going into such gatherings and later on, there's a there's a commentary happening within your household, you can't be a part of that because you made a promise to Allah. You fulfilled an ayah of the Quran had that issue, what to solimo Allah, Allah, then he says, Daddy, come hydrolock Allah, Allah come to the Kuru. And that's better for you, if you can make an effort to remember that Cara in Arabic is different from Jakarta, it's a little bit more Bella, what that means is, it's not something easy to remember, this is one of those instructions that's very easily forgotten. So we easily slip into talking about each other, or giving each other

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dirty looks or whatever else, right. So that's an easy commentary or easy kind of slip up, that can happen. So Allah says, This is better for you. It's not even better for them, it's better for you, if you can make an effort to remember if you tie this to what I said about sort of noon, it means it will preserve light inside you. And it means if you and I aren't abiding by this, and we are engaged in talking about others, especially when they invite us over. When we are over in their homes, and we do such things, then we are good at putting a darkness inside of ourselves. We're actually darkening our own hearts, and we're becoming your corrupt Muslim society. We're creating a disease

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within ourselves. And when when when a body like I said is inflicted, it can't defend itself. It can't even defend itself from the inside. How's it going to defend from the outside? what it would there be a surprise if an oma was so sick, that it wouldn't be able to defend itself from outside enemies? When it's so sick on the inside, right? And there's just one instruction is just one instruction? And then he goes further? Allah azza wa jal and says, for England did you do if he hadn't? And if you don't find anybody there, meaning if you come to somebody's home, you ring the bell, and you don't find anybody there? Or you asked three times in one narration, somebody came to

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the house of our model, DLR, and who, and you know, asked if he's there, and he asked three times, this person asked three times, and he didn't hear a response. So he left. So he knocked three became an advocate. And then later on, on what didn't hear him, he didn't actually hear him. And he said, What column back and he said, Why did you leave? He said, I asked three times, so I left I heard the Prophet say, so that you should ask three times and then leave. Right? He said, Really? You better verify that because it was not from the prophet of Abuja.

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So he had to get other witnesses

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to say, actually, that's what the prophet said. So what we learn is the province of Islam says a recommendation from the profit slice of them is not how many times three times if you're going to ring the bell, ring it three times but not thinking ding ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Hey, did you hear me? And then, like, three minutes three times doesn't mean you know, three, five minutes sessions

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are kicking the door down for one Okay, that was one time and then another time? No, no, no, no, no. Gently, courteously. Give it a little bit maybe they didn't hear you give it a little bit again, we didn't hear give it a little bit again. And that's it. That's done. It's done. Go back to that. It's overweight. Now you can leave. But then there's something even more remarkable. If there is nobody home Don't go Of course even if you see the door open, don't walk inside had to come by the way, just as a developing the sensitivity for the Quran. Sometimes you know what happens? Sometimes there are people that invite you to a thought, for example, right? And there's guests coming every two

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minutes. There's somebody ringing the bell, and they can't keep up because they they're passing out plates and they're doing other stuff so they can't keep up so they leave the door open. They leave the door open for you to walk in. Right. Now. One of the things you can do is you can say Is everything okay?

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I walk in, Can I come in? Instead of ringing the bell? Is it okay to come in? And they can say yeah, and you can come in, or if you can text them ahead of time or get some sort of permission, even then have the sensitivity unless you're like 1,000,000% sure of the science has just walked in. right that's that's the state nurse leave gave it and put a sign there. And if you're gonna have such an invitation for a sign, so people don't violate an IRA. Okay, okay, I'm wanted it's okay for me to walk in. You know, that's what that establish. But he says if you if you come to a home and there's nobody there don't walk in one and by the way, what does that mean? That don't invade don't look

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inside. Okay, I didn't walk in but I just looked inside.

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No, don't look inside, you're not wanting your eyes aren't wanted. Your tongue isn't wanted your presence isn't wanted the same way if somebody left their phone at the table, and so I'm going to go to the bathroom. And they go wash their hands. And they got a text message. Do

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you know?

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You because, I mean, they left it there. So it's fair game? No, it's not. That's also part of their that's their privacy, isn't it? Don't Look, don't don't don't enter into a space. That's not yours. Bla bla bla, tell me. Now. This, you know, after this, Allah says, when you know, we were in Kedah, Kumar Giroux, this is amazing. You remember I told you about the Prophet slice Allah, that when people would come and stay late and didn't want to leave? He wouldn't say anything. He wouldn't say anything, right? Sometimes people come over, and they come over and they stay pretty late. And you don't want to be rude. And you don't want to say,

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I think you should go have worked tomorrow. Let's stop. That sounds rude. So you try to do other, you know, indirect ways like, you know, maybe they'll get it. Or even if you're not yawning, you did a little bit of, or maybe you kind of look at your clock or something or watch or something. And they're like, that's a nice watch. They don't get it. They're like, that's a nice watch.

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You know? So maybe they don't get it? Or maybe they come home at a time and say, Can I come in, I really want to talk to you. And it's really not a good time. So now you're put in an awkward position because telling somebody to leave or telling someone This is not a good time. Is feels rude, right? And so you kind of you have wanted to do in this situation, a lot actually sides with the one that has the right to privacy. Instead of saying no, you should be a good host suck it up and let them stay. And you should just, you know, care for those and sacrifice your own comfort. No, he doesn't say that. He talks to the people that showed up at an uncomfortable hour. Or they showed

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up at a time that isn't appropriately, knowingly or unknowingly. Or they showed up and they're not leaving, and you got other you got other things to do. When you are told, listen to this, when you're told to go back.

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You don't

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go back. What did you say? No. When you're told go back for God, go back and go back with no hard feelings. Just go back. Realize that you're overstepped and don't make this difficult for people. If you had St. Ignace to begin with, if you and I had courtesy to begin with, then we wouldn't have this problem anyway. Because we're not obsessed with ourselves and sitting in our comfort. We're thinking about the other. We're thinking about them, you know, they're in Pakistani culture, it's even more difficult, because people say, Oh, it's getting late jello gel.

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And then 15 minutes later, they're like, Oh, it's getting late. It's time to go. And then 40 minutes later, okay, Chilean libart Mercado de la la, like, every 45 minutes. They're like, I gotta go. It's getting late and they don't leave.

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Don't leave. It's like a whole digital process to get to the door. And when they get to the door, then they say, could you let the white let the missus know. I'm in the car. And then the missus has our own hedge a lot to do. Because

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by the time you leave, it's fudger. Like, that's what happens. But actually, when you can sense that it's getting late, then don't say it's getting late. You just make some excuse and go. Allah says if you can do that was Calico that's pure for you. That's pure for you notice, a lot did not say this is a courtesy you're doing to someone else. Allah says for the one who's leaving, you're doing yourself a favor. You're purifying yourself. You're cleansing yourself. And this is a spiritually beneficial thing. Again, I say when we don't do these things, it darkens our hearts. These are spiritual remedies. They're not just laws of Islam, who are a scholar, well law who the meta meluna

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alum and Allah knows what you're up to. Allah knows what you do these simple, beautiful regular regulations in sudo. To know every single one of them is there to protect us and preserve our oma and its integrity. And we overlook some of these very basic mannerisms. If these were insignificant, they would not be in the Quran.

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If these were small things, they will not be in the Quran. And you know,

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There's something to help myself and you realize the importance of some of this stuff because we think it's just everyday things. Well, the sooner I began, you know, Salatin and Zelda have a facade. Nah, he never gave a soda like that. There's 114 students in the Quran. No sooner begins like this. No surah he says a surah that we sat down, and we put mandates in it, we put rules in it. Like he never says that in any surah except this one, as if the rules of the surah are especially important. The instructions of the surah are especially important. So I wanted to dedicate this whole bot for at least one of those small instructions. Because you know, it's for a lot of people

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it's holiday season, but you know, in a couple of months, it's gonna be Ramadan. And you know, some for a lot of people in the beginning of the year is weddings and all kinds of stuff. So when you are engaged in social gatherings may be mindful of some of these instructions that Allah has given us for our own benefit. And may Allah azza wa jal make us those who continually purify themselves and remove the impurities from within themselves. barakallahu li walakum picaridin Hakeem whenever anyone er can be it was the king