Forced Marriages – That’s Messed Up
Channel: Nouman Ali Khan
Series: Nouman Ali Khan - That's Messed Up
File Size: 2.21MB
A girl should not be pressured, guilt-tripped, or threatened into marriage. And by the way, there’s nothing wrong with a girl being interested in someone and bringing it up with her parents.
Episode Transcript ©
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I'm good. I'd like to talk to you about problems. You know, God, let me guess it's about sisters. Yeah. Well, it's more about their parents.
I'm getting a lot of stuff about women being psychologically pressured to get married. Girls being told, if you don't marry this one or that one, nobody else is gonna marry you. I mean, look at you, you're so whatever, you know, parents putting their kids down there, their girls down and then saying, you better get married right now You better not embarrass us, you better not make the family look bad, etc. So when a proposal comes, you better take it seriously and just do it. And these girls feel just constantly pressured. So this is one side of it. And the other side of is they can't actually express liking of anybody. I'm not talking about girls who are dating some guy or whatever.
But if they say they express interest, it's completely outrageous. They're just worst crime ever, right?
There is absolutely no room in this religion, for the validity of a marriage, which was forced in any way.
Marriage has to be from the permission of the girl and not a reluctant permission, she should be living. They should be completely open and happy about it and they want to get married. Not fine. If my parents are telling me to I should.
A woman comes to the Prophet Solomon says, My father forced me to get married. So I came under pressure, and I got married, but I don't like him. I said, your marriage is invalid. And you guys bought it? He said he did. He's awesome. Can you imagine?
And you know why people do it for it's not enough to know that. It's like, it's absolutely outrageous the harm, you can't do it. That's not enough. There's a psychological problem. Because you know, you can tell people something's wrong, they still do it. You know, the real psychological problem is, these people are more obsessed with their own happiness and their own children's happiness,
their name, their pride, their prestige, their appearance to society, all of this fake stuff, that actually means absolutely nothing means more to them than the lifelong happiness of their daughter. It's almost its beauty pageant. Fame, like it's just a show. Oh, so many people are gonna come at this wedding, we're gonna get this hall, we're going to do this, we're gonna do that, you know, our relations with that family will become better this, you know, look at who we who we found. And don't find a person they actually find a resume
or even a person they wanted to marry. Just it has to be a guy from this place, has to have this disqualifications all artificial stuff. And the guy could be a complete jerk. How many cases I know of where they found this guy, they looked for him through thick and thin to find the guy from the same zip code as their village back home or, you know, and they found found him and then two weeks later find out he's beating the girl to death. And then on top of this, okay, you know what, that's the time to admit you made a mistake. But no, what No, no, it's okay. You should be patient. And don't tell anyone that looks bad and makes us look bad.
When marriage is half your deen and you're destroying people's marriages, these people are preventing people from the deen of Allah. They should watch it. They are not in trouble with their kids. They're in trouble with the law. It's a serious serious matter. You know, so like, looking out for the happiness of our kids and their consent. And may Allah make us you know, wise parents. We make these decisions for our children and to help our kids make wise decisions as they grow up and channel data. We'll talk about some other things later. A lot of colonial