Channel: Nouman Ali Khan
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today is a very different different kinds of E than the ones we're used to. So long as I can remember, a big part of the identity of the Muslim at least for me, myself, personally, for pretty much all of you that have been Muslim, or if you've been Muslim, for some new years that need prayer has been a part of your memory for those many years. That's the largest gathering of the Muslims. And it's a time where we feel connected as an oma and the message, you know, US need and the kind of celebrations that follow after that is family getting together friends getting together. Basically, it's a social event. And it's a social event where we celebrate the completion of the hold on and
the revelation of the Koran together. And obviously, that's the time usually when I give a hug, but at the occasion of need. My advice happens to be about when families get together. Usually there are some kinds of interesting experiences, right. So a lot of times when people get together, they don't see each other for a long time. There can be different kinds of fights and drama and all that other sort of stuff. And we're coming out of the month of Ramadan with a shell theater chain, and the Shell has got unleashed, the devils got a leash, and now you've got family in front of you. So they're easy targets for fights and all kinds of you know, conflicts that happen. But we find
ourselves in a very different circumstance this year. So we're not going to be able to have the kind of social gatherings that we used to have in the past. And so for many of us, we're more isolated this time, than perhaps we ever were in our lives. And so what is it that we can take at the end of this month of Ramadan, as many of you know, I'm here giving this clip up primarily to some friends and family and, you know, primarily to, you know, to a camera, and many of you that are watching at home or watching from your homes and leaders be celebrated inside of the home. So what is how is it that we can make the most of this eat and take from it or take from Ramadan? Really, what is it that
we're supposed to be celebrating? In every, every time Allah xojo closes one door, he opens others. And that's just the reality of life. Right? So the fact that we are able to do what we were normally able to do also means that a lot of things that were preoccupying my time and your time have disappeared. And some things that never used to get our time and attention are now right before us. You know there are lots of studies right now.
People cooped up at home with their kids. And they haven't spent a lot of time with their kids at all forever, because the kids are always at school. And they're always working. And by the time everybody gets home, your kids are doing the homework, parents are just gonna, you know, eat something, watch a little TV or something, and maybe have 1015 minutes of interaction with each other. How was your day? And it was okay, okay, good. And that's the end of it, there's not that much interaction. And then even if you have weekend together, well, you want you don't want to stay cooped up. So you go out and let the kids run around in a park or something like that, all of that
stuff is gone. So people are now stuck at home with a bunch of kids have endless energy. And we have only so much, you know, you know, we call it patience. And eventually things start coming to a boil. Right, and things start becoming very tense inside homes, people can start going crazy going, you know, living inside the home. And so we're thinking of creative ways to keep our kids busy and keep ourselves busy. One of the things that I feel is, is a golden opportunity, the humanity was unaware of the word of Allah. And it was like a knight that fell over over the entire earth and nonetheless sent his light Allah sent the word of Allah. For Allah, he was truly he renewed in the hands of
Allah sent this light, to illuminate the world, and to teach us something we could never have known before, when you're
teaching us something you couldn't possibly know yourselves, there was no way for us to know the word of the law ourselves. And now we have the kind of time and the kind of free of, you know, freedom of mind, to actually begin to learn the word of Allah ourselves, and actually start to teach the word of Allah to our children to and to actually learn as a family. Now, how often do we get an opportunity and have the kind of time where we can actually make a schedule, and start learning as word as a family, we didn't have that opportunity before, if we did, we didn't take advantage of it. But night now might be a good opportunity for us to think just like we have time for dinner. And
just like we have time for now lunch is over, you have time for lunch, we have time for other things, maybe there needs to be a scheduled time where we sit together as a family to come up with some kind of a program where we can do something as a family and learn the word of Allah together, learn something about our profits together. And even if it's a little bit every day, it can go a pretty long way. It can actually be pretty profound, that a family takes advantage of this kind of opportunity, and gets together and just learn something together as a family. And you know what, a lot of times, parents, you know, many of you that are watching, you don't know much either. So how
are we going to teach our kids if we don't know much ourselves, and that's not a criticism of you. That's just reality, right? And it's okay for you to be fellow students along with your children. Actually, that's even better. Because many of you may not be very good teachers. And that's okay. Not everybody is going to be a teacher. So if you're not good, good at teaching, then maybe you can be a fellow student along with your kids along with your family that you're cooped up with anyway, maybe listen to something beneficial, learn something beneficial. Take a course take a class, read a book, whatever it is, discuss it with each other, so that you're all learning and growing together.
And that creates a different kind of bond inside the family. Obviously, we can bond over food, we can bond over, you know, a movie or games or something like that. But How awesome would it be if we can start bonding over something we learned about our profits?
What did you think about this study? What did you think about the story? What do you think about the soil? When you're reading about it? What questions did you have? And as you develop those questions, you will learn that you don't have all the answers, and I don't have all the answers. So we're going to become seekers. We're going to look in Hungary double living in the internet age where we can seek answers, we can ask people, we can say we were studying this, or we were looking at this and we couldn't figure it out. And now let's seek out the answer. Let's listen to a lecture about it. Or let's watch a video about it. Or let's read a book about it. So it's going to open up your mind and
really have you contemplate the word of Allah and this beautiful deed in ways maybe you didn't have a chance to do before. You know, one thing that this strange new world this COVID-19 world has opened up for us is we used to depend on someone else to teach our kids religion. Right, someone else is going to teach them put on in someone else is going to teach them CLR or something else, they're gonna we're gonna put them in some kind of weekend school or Islamic school. It was somebody else's job, and now has given us a pretty amazing reminder that actually it's nobody else's job. It's my own job. It's actually Nope, nobody else can do that job. Like I can think about the
earliest Muslims who took Shahada from the prophets of Salaam or took Shahada from the Sahaba why they became Muslim and then they went back to their village right they didn't go back to an Islamic school or Islamic University when they got a jasmine Khalifa nothing. Whatever little they knew. What did they go back and do they whatever little they knew, they shared with their family they shared with their friends, and they try to learn some more and share some more. That's how the process of this religion began, right. It wasn't complete.
To begin with, so long or complicated for yourselves, don't think of this as something that's burdensome, it can be something very beautiful, and very easy to do. And it can maybe hopefully create, you'll be surprised when you start sharing things like that and talking with your children about these kinds of things. Usually you hear them talk about, you know, video games, or characters or movies or TV shows or whatever. And you know, how into it they are. But when you start talking about your profit, I suppose, when you start talking about a sort of the Quran, which has been talking about a lot, you'll hear things come out of their mouth, and you will, and really, that goes
on in your head, too. You have these thoughts? Also, you'd be surprised how thoughtful our kids are, how much how much they have inside them how inquisitive they are, but we never had those kinds of conversations. So instead of, yeah, that's the last thing I'll share with you as advice and discover, for myself in all of you, not so much that we're giving a lecture or teaching a class when we're sitting together. We're learning from somewhere and we're having conversations, we're getting them to open up and really ask their questions and understand where they're coming from. And if we can create that process, maybe this becomes a huge blessing, because some of those conversations can
be the anchor that holds them to their religion, 20 years from now.
Right? They you might think it was just a conversation I had with my kid was eight years old, 10 years old, 15 years old, whatever, whatever age, and you don't know what a pillar that becomes in their personality. 20 years down the road. My mom once said to me, my dad once said to me, and I learned this is sitting with my father sitting with my mother, we were sitting together as a family, and my brother and I were thinking about this island together, those memories can save somebody's life. They can be so transformative. You know, I'll leave you with this thought because, you know, I decided this last time, because the lessons Aled is not place a burden on anybody, except that they
can bear the loss except to their capacity. So this is not something that should overwhelm us. I'll leave you with one story that really moved me one event that happened in my life that actually happened here in Dallas, I was giving a sere, Canada, and I was getting ready to start my lecture. And I was about a half hour early, which is not normal for me. But I was half an hour early at the Westin, the sitting there getting ready getting my notes together. And this fellow locked in, and he's sitting there, and he's kind of looking around. Like he doesn't belong, where he's weirded out in this kind of thinking, somebody's gonna say something to me. So I noticed that he's not
comfortable. So I went up to him and asked him What's going on? He said, It's my first time here 25 years inside the mosque. And I was like, well, glad you came. And he said, I just need to talk to somebody. I was like, Well, I have a few minutes to sit and talk. So we sat and talk, right? This fellow someone who lives here somewhere in DFW and his family and he moved from their home country, originally Muslim but lost Islam, maybe early on in the grandfather's generation started losing Islam. So they had a son by name. Yeah. So when they came here, they got into the liquor business. So he and his brothers all own bars. Okay, so they were each one of them owns a bar in different
parts of a very successful, okay. And this guy, this fellow, and where they come from, even though they're Muslim, drinking alcohol is part of every gathering every time attending a standard beers, any pop. And, you know, that's just how they are. That's just normal for them. Okay. And he has this thought one time that this, something's wrong with all of this. I'm not comfortable with this business anymore. So he pulls out of the liquor business of the BBs and his brothers lose it. They completely and why are you doing this? Why are you Why are you acting this way? You know what he said to them? He said, I remember that one time before our dad passed away. He took me to a mosque.
He took me to a and he doesn't even remember, it's called a machine. So is calling a loss, right? So he took me to a mosque, and we're a bunch of people there. And it felt really good. And I haven't felt like that ever since. And I asked him so you remember that? And you told that to your brothers? He's like, yeah, I guess my dad passed away a long time ago. So I think so. What How old were you when your dad took you to that last bad memory of yours? As I go, I think it was nine,
eight or nine years old. nine years old. He's a 14 year old guy. So 31 years later, there's a memory of small memory of something his father did with him
that pulled him out of the liquor business. And his family's disowning me doesn't know where to go. And he's like, I should go where dad took me.
He comes to the question. So how long we underestimate the experiences we have with our kids. we underestimate the words we share with our children. So we should we should put a lot of emphasis on that. We should be sensitive to the kinds of words we use with each other. If the prophets I seldom said that the best of you are the best to your family.
hydrocone hydrocone II, the best of you is the one who's best to his or her family well enough to make udia here, and I'm the best among you to my family, if we're going to learn from the prophets examples, a lot more on Instagram. So the thing is, when we meet strangers, we meet them with a smile. We're courteous, respectful. We don't we don't talk down to anybody, where, you know, we're not sarcastic with anybody aggressive with anybody. And then the worst of us comes out when we're home.
Like, we're like a different person. And people on the outside who knows to be really nice and kind and courteous, they wouldn't believe that that's the same person who's at home. And the profit section is painting the opposite picture. He's teaching us, the best of you are the ones that are the best to their families, that it's easy to be good to a stranger. It's easy to be respectful to somebody else. But it's, you know, the real test is going to be what's happening at home and we have an opportunity before we come back as communities and inshallah tada one day, this disease, you know, this spread will be over this fitna will end whatever Allah decides to end. And whenever this
comes back, we're going to gather together as communities again, but maybe it was wisdom, before we get together as communities, this is a time for we should become better families, stronger families. So when stronger families come back together, they're going to be stronger communities, right? Because the building block of a community is families. And right now, if we're not getting to do things, as a community, maybe all of our emphasis needs to be on the family. That's that's where the emphasis needs to be. And I pray that we take advantage of that. And really bring you know, the beautiful teachings of our Deen into our home and realize that every one of us has responsibility.
Nobody's off the hook. And there's so many resources online that you can do that
accepts our online
softens our heart stories, those that, you know, that have heard, that we have caused her to that, you know, they forgive us and if somebody has done wrong to us, that I love listening and hearts that we can forgive them and move on allows us to make people reconciliation in this time of our lives, except our doba and our repentance for all the mistakes that we've made in the past and make us better believers and better people and better members of the family going into the future.
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