Conversations About Others

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Nouman Ali Khan

Channel: Nouman Ali Khan

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you about a couple of ayat that belong to Surah Al medulla, a very small Surah of the Quran that deals with a very particular subject matter predominantly in the heart of the surah. And that is called Najwa. Maybe a word that you're not familiar with. So I'll help you understand this word first. So the word Najwa actually has to do with secret council. Like, if you're holding meetings in secret with somebody and discussing something privately, that kind of a meeting can be called Najwa. Okay, so and it could be something good. And it could be something that so for example, your parents decide that they want to have a conversation about the finances, and they close the door and does it

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kids go downstairs and they want to discuss something while they're having a Najwa to that's actually a form of Najwa that they're having, or the elders in the family are discussing something or in a company when the executives are having a meeting and they close the conference room door, right? They're having Najwa, while the other employees are not supposed to know, when outsiders are not supposed to know, legal counsel can be natural when you're when you're when your doctor is giving you a consultation that can be natural to because he's discussing your medical report is, you know, they don't want the nurses to hear or they don't want other patients to hear. So private

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conversations, essentially, they're called Najwa. Okay, now, what that has to do with the Surah, specifically, is actually when the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was in Medina, and the community of Muslims was growing. And this mission was expanding. All kinds of people were coming into Islam, and they had all kinds of different motivations. Some people were very strong in their faith, they really knew why they become Muslim. Other people were just kind of riding the wave, like everybody else around me became Muslim. So maybe I should too. I don't really know what this is about. But I'm just going to jump in anyway. Other people were, you know, politically and socially

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influential before the Prophet came Salallahu Alaihe Salam, and the only way for them to remain influential was to join the Muslims. So they had kind of a side agenda, we call them the mafia cone, because their intentions are not actually for the service of Allah, His Messenger, or loyalty to them. They're loyal to their own agenda, right? So they show loyalty on the face of it to one, but in reality, the loyalty goes to someone else. So they're the one off your phone. But on the on the outside, they're all Muslims. They all say Salam Alikum, they all pray together. So just because they're praying together, and they're all in the company of the prophets, I said them. And when

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Allah says, Yeah, you have Lavina Amma know he's talking to all of them. doesn't mean they're all on the same page, doesn't mean they all have the same kinds of motivations. But this was this was becoming a more serious problem, because in Makkah, the people who accept Islam and the people who reject Islam, the lines are very clear. Either you love it or you hate it. That's it. There's no There's no other it's black and white, that when you move to Medina, in this community, there's a lot of gray, where does this person actually stand? Where are their motivations? What's the real agenda we don't really know, right? And so when the Prophet says, Hello, we'll discuss something

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sensitive, because remember, for the years after moving to Medina, until almost the end of the mission of the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi, wasallam. It's kind of like what you can call a cold war situation. So we're constantly either we're on the battlefield, or we're preparing for the next battle, right, and there's a battle of influence taking place in the region. And when there's even if you're not on the battlefield, the issue that occurs is that the enemy is always gathering intelligence. The enemy is always looking for an opportunity to find out strategic interests, plans, where are you moving your assets, what caravan is going, where where we might be, we might be able

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to attack what might be points of weakness, etc. The enemy is always looking to exploit. So espionage and spying and you know, who's loyal to who and buying out your people. This is, this is what happens nowadays, right? And this is, this used to happen back in the day too. So it's not really clear, who is going to sit in the gathering of the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam, and he's going to mention some really important decision. And then that decision is going to get leaked outside. Or there's even more, it's not just leaking to the enemy. There's another problem. And that's destroying the morale from within. Many of you work in large organizations or companies, etc,

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right. And you have office politics. So you have a meeting, everybody that the CEO gathers, and everybody's sitting in the meeting, and if anybody has any issues, please raise your hand or Please discuss it. Now. This is the team meeting. Nobody raises an issue. Everybody's okay. Right. And as soon as the meeting is over, four people go in a corner. Man, this meeting is stupid. This guy doesn't know what he's doing. I've always been telling them, this can't be done in three months, we need four months, but nobody listens to me. They don't say it in the meeting. They wait until the meeting is done. And they go by the water cooler, and then they have the meeting after the meeting,

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you understand. And the whole point of that is to destroy the morale and the cohesion of the group. So there's the group, and now there's a group inside the group. So even when they're sitting in the meeting, they're not really in the meeting. They're in their own little meeting, you understand? So they don't see themselves even though they look like

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Part of the group, they're not really part of the group. Right? So this is actually a way of secret meetings. I started by saying module can be secret meetings, while the province is home discuss something, there should be an open conversation. You should if you have an issue, this is the time to bring it up. No, no, no, this is not the time to bring it up. You go over later, you know, he favors Abu Bakr too much. I think he always listens to his opinion. I don't know why. But you know, like, none of us even exist. What's that about? Sound like we haven't given our sacrifices either. And so they're trying to fill in the ears of some others, getting them to start having assumptions.

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And if you can narrow it, it does is it helps you build assumptions about someone else. So you no longer listen to what they're saying, please listen to this part carefully. You're no longer listening to what they're saying. You've already made a judgement about their intentions. So whatever they're saying, doesn't even matter anymore. You've already overwritten that with your own judgments. I know this is what they're saying. But I know what they really mean. Right? This is what Nigeria does. It creates a paranoia and a judgement about the larger group or about leadership or about others. And this is something that started to happen in the time of the Prophet sallallahu

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alayhi wasallam. Right. So the idea that I'm going to share with you what Allah says, in the main ledger, Amina shaytaan, that Najwa secret council, it only comes from the devil. It only comes from the devil, the accident Alladhina amanu. So that it may cause sadness to those who've had faith. So the goal of shaitan is to create this device, this module, because there's one thing to attack Islam on the battlefield. There's another battlefield you can create. It's much safer. It's not us suicide meetings. By the way, this doesn't just happen at the office does it? It happens in families. Right? In fact, the brothers of Yusuf we're having Najwa by themselves, they could have talked to their dad

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too, but they didn't. They said dad's crazy. He loves use of too much. Right? He's lost. We should do this, this if they actually consulted the entire family, whatever emotions they were feeling, none of that would have happened, you see, and even that in that surah Allah even mentions that you know, in no shape Anna Lillian Sani Adobe in the devil is an enemy as well. It's interesting. Nigel comes up shape arm comes up. We wonder why why is the joint shutdown so connected to each other? Well, shaytan himself when Allah created automatically Salam could have brought up his concerns, like the angels that the angels brought up their concerns. They said, I don't see how can you see to

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see how else we could do not even a port someone that's gonna spill blood. Yeah, Allah, we don't understand. You have a concern, bring it up. But he kept it inside. You know, he kept it inside. And Allah even said, Allah, no matter of doing what I can to protect the moon, I know what you're showing, I know what you hide. So the devil has been hiding this inside of him. Well, you know what, that's he realized, well, that's my habit, I'm going to make it their habit. I'm going to make them hide things among themselves, and then form groups that hide their real agendas, and create groups within groups, cliques within families, right? to undermine the larger cause. You know, so So this

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kind of thing is, is definitely from a Showtime. But this creates a and the goal of it, I actually wanted to spend a little bit of time in just talking about the goal of it, because a lot of times Allah tells us what Chopin does. But sometimes he also tells us why he does it. Like what's his endgame, his greatest goal would be Strangely, the accent Alladhina amanu. So he can cause Hosen to those who believe now the common translation of poison is actually sadness. So he may make the this the he may make the believers sad. But then when you think about that, I'm like, that's not such a great goal. Like just making someone sad. Why is that such a problem? It's just a feeling and like

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any other feeling it passes. So if you dig a little bit into the word husband, it gets a little further than sadness. And I want to dig into that a little bit. linguish Describe sadness as an upheaval, Sue? Well, first of all, these describe it as the opposite of being content and being happy. So being dissatisfied, being disturbed and being unhappy. That's the first part of the word, Hossam Norman, it actually includes pain, the feeling of pain. It's interesting as a student of psychology, I can tell you, there are many forms of psychological pain that are worse than physical pain. Right? Psychological pain can actually be worse than physical pain. emotional pain can be

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worse than physical pain. Right? Well, my shot no shot, yet you go home in Santa Fe can't be here. The fact the shape that we that tough hard feelings that take root inside of a person are called frozen hard feelings, rough feelings that take root because they've lost because a human being is lost something or for other reasons. I'm not really an animal Shula finaps Actually, the word hasn't actually came from rough patches of soil, where if you walk you would get cut, and you can't really ride a wheel on top of it, it would break. So rough patches of Earth are actually called

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He has an infinite we get the word has a meaning disturbance, roughness, coarseness pain. And of course, it includes one more very important meaning they used to say about a word about a person has an origin, I tell you about a person became filled with Huizhou means they got exhausted. So, it's interesting, you might have a lot of energy, right? You got out of the morning, you ate breakfast, you have a lot of energy. And then you have a conversation about you know, you know, you have this, you know, idea that somebody's talking about their families talking about you.

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Or you can you can notice, they're just looking at you and laughing. And he said, What were you guys talking about? Nothing. Don't worry about it. And you know, what that does, immediately, it takes some of your energy away, immediately. So the idea I mean, you have physically we're made up of energy, but emotionally, if you are part of a draining conversation, or if you know, things are being said about you, or if you know that, you know, others are undermining what you're doing, I'm saying this this is, but I just know, they're gonna go sit by themselves and undo everything we discussed. What does it do, it takes motivation away from you, it takes energy away from you. And

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what the devil wants what He's scared of, is believers being in an emotionally healthy place. Because when it when they're emotionally in a healthy place, they are going to be extremely productive, they're going to exhaust themselves in a in a good cause. And the best way to get them to stop from a good cause, forget the enemy on the outside, cause problems in their emotional transmission, cause a leak in the transmission and that's husband, right. So the idea of us being in a good place emotionally, is actually related to what we're able to accomplish in the service of Allah and His Messenger, salallahu Alaihe Salam, and the devil knows that. So he says, I'm going to

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create this thing called Najwa. So that it can demotivate people. It can exhaust them, it can it can, you know, make them depressed and sad. And actually interesting, the hustle has tangible went through a lot of pains in his dictionary to describe that husband isn't just about what happened in the past husband can be related to anxiety in the future, too. Which is why, for example, they asked

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me and then how will be He, you know, Jacoba de salaam says it makes it gives me hope isn't that you're taking use of the way, they haven't taken him away. Yet, if cousin was just about something that happens in the past, then you wouldn't find the word cousin describing the future. So it can include elements of sadness and depression over what's happened before. But it can actually also include elements of fear and anxiety and other a nervousness about what's going to come in the future. And that's what shaytan wants. So now, after having described all of that, and the end of powerful effects of Najwa, this is something that can destroy entire organizations, you know, they

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have team building meetings, and they have, you know, a cohesion exercises and all of that. So people communicate with each other better. They want you to climb ropes and do bungee jumping, or whatever else you can, you can break barriers of communication, or honor dress this thing as a potential evil, that when there is time to sit and discuss something, discuss it together, do it together. But this then leads to another problem. Sometimes I'll give you a real life situation, you have a family member who is in fact a real problem. They are they in fact have a major temporary issue. Or they have a temperament problem, or they're always, you know, picking criticizing everyone

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else. So they're creating issues in the family. And maybe they're an elder in the family. Maybe they have maybe they're there, maybe it's another you know, who's always been critical. Maybe it's a father, maybe it's somebody and that needs to be addressed. Right? And now you would listen to the IRA in them and nudge them into shape on the phenomena. They're like, I don't want to talk about sit there and talk about mom and what we can do about that because that's much more and that's from Shaytaan. So I should just have to laconian Allah Allah Allah Allah He folio token, you know, so what am I supposed to do? Right? Where do you draw the line that our, our secret conversation or

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private conversation about someone else doesn't fall into network doesn't fall into riba right backbiting doesn't fall into riba or entire meetings being held to discuss the problem of your uncle or the problem of your son or whatever else, right? How do we how do we draw that line? Allah Himself gave us a pretty interesting, very concise, clear guideline. And that's actually in the IRA before this one. Yeah, you know, the nominee is that Anna Jacob, those of you who claim to believe whenever you're going to sit in a secret meeting, and by parentheses, you can assume a secret meeting where you might be discussing others. You may be discussing somebody who's creating a

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problem or whatever, right? Fallout and agile philosophy and agile bill, SB 101, for mazziotta Rasool that don't sit and discuss things secretly, in a sinful way, in a way that's filled with animosity and disobedience to the Prophet. So the rest of this whole bow briefly mentioned these three things. First of all, if them in a sinful way less sinful, if you're talking about someone, hey, I need to discuss oncology.

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Yeah, I've got God that guy, you laugh at him, you can't You're condescending towards and you're making jokes about him. That's that's actually sinful. Because Paul, you know, it's bizarre is sinful Quran will describe it, right? Looking down on someone is liars or Coleman Coleman Don't make fun of each other, that's sinful. So already the way the tone in which you're gonna talk about someone will already let you know and let me know, hey, we're heading down the devil's path. This is not what Allah allows. That's already, you know, the first violation, then if and then there's the one needs animosity, the person you're talking about may have hurt your feelings. You may be angry

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at them. So when you talk about them, your anger comes out. Right, your animosity towards them comes out, which means you're not able to have a fair conversation and, and a sensible conversation because your emotions are too high. So you got to put your old one in control. Whatever they have happened happened. We're discussing how to address this issue. I'm not here to vent my anger. I don't want to talk about this person because they make me so mad. Because I hate them so much. If those are dominant feelings in your thought process as you're talking about someone don't do it. To step back, that's your second red flag. Right so there's there's Ethan and there's Obi Wan and then

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finally he says, We're not CSR rasool and disobedience of the prophets of Allah, Allah and solemn and the Prophet SAW Selim has given us ethics character, your morals, principles, any of those principles being violated while you're discussing someone? You've got yourself a problem. In fact, a good example of Najwa is when yaku Bowden Salam was speaking to use of Hadith Salaam and he said laptop so so IACA other aquatic for your key do loca cretin initial trial talyllyn Sania do movie, don't tell this dream to brothers. Right, he's talking about the brothers and the brothers aren't there. So if you don't have a like a clear understanding, you might say this sounds like Heba.

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Because when you talk about someone behind their back that becomes Reba, so is this guy, because Yahoo was telling his son, don't tell this dream to your brothers, they will scheme against you. He did say something bad about them, right? He didn't say something bad about them. And the devil is a real enemy. So you might look at all of that and say, Hey, wait, how does that fit with the other teachings of Islam? You know, well, the way it fits is in this IRA, Allah tells us here the things to avoid, and then what are the things you should have? And so let's end with that. What an agile builder we what taqwa and if you're going to engage in secret counsel, do it for good reason.

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Something good has to come out of it. And the good is it. I got to talk crap about someone I feel a lot better now. You know, that's not a good reason. Good means you actually did something good. Hey, maybe we need to discuss this together as a family. So this stops happening. Maybe we need to intervene. Maybe we should take him out to do it. Maybe we should get them a present. Maybe we should disarm them a little bit. That's something good that's coming. And the other reason is a tequila which is mindfulness of Allah. But Taqwa has another meaning in the Quran. Like for example, when we go to Hajj Allah says in the Hydra Zadie at Taqwa the best kind of packing provisions you

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can take when you go to Hajj is taqwa. That doesn't just mean Taqwa of Allah. It means you make sure you have enough money. It makes sure you keep your passport in a secure place. It makes sure that you have your tickets properly booked and make sure your visa is in order. All of that precaution is also called Taqwa. So proper means protecting yourself. And we'll talk about the most spiritually protecting yourself, decoy in this dunya actually, psychologically, socially, economically, politically, protecting yourself. Actually all of that is also called Taqwa. So in this IR if you're going to have secret counsel, and the purpose of that secret counselor is protecting yourself.

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That's completely fine. Your goal wasn't to attack someone, your goal isn't to vent. Your goal wasn't to, you know, to just humiliate someone else to be in their absence or scheme to harm them. Your goal primarily is to protect yourself. So if someone is harmful, and you're trying to have a secret meeting to protect yourself, that's within the confines of what Allah allows. That's something that Allah allows. So he says what the nodule will be river Taqwa that Toccoa de la hito Sharon and finally he ends he says, Be mindful of Allah to him alone, the one whom to whom alone you are going to be gathered and heard it. The reason this will stop Allah at the end it highlights that

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decoy Allah are two different things in which the matter Farakka there's a distinction between the two. But what's what's really beautiful about that is in a self righteousness and this is the last thing I want about this often but in this context, it's important. Human beings can justify anything for themselves. We can we come up with come up with the best excuses for ourselves. And Allah tells us why human beings do that. This is actually one of the tricks of Shaitan to was zillion Allahumma shaytani shaitan makes you even your bad deeds look good to you. I swear

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Up to you, because it's good for you.

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I've always been mean to you, because I'm building your character. You know, when I humiliate you like that, that's because I want to build confidence in you.

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You do the worst things, and in your head, you're doing somebody a favor. I'm rooting for you, the sharp arm teaches you to do something bad. And in your head. Now I'm doing this for a good cause. I'm actually making a man out of you, or making you learn something, these are important lessons in life because better I abuse you than someone else.

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You know, you're welcome. So this, this kind of thinking, this is when we justify Najwa over doing this, yeah, I know, it's gonna hurt this person. But you know what, this person is becoming too arrogant. They need to be put in their place. So we're gonna, we're gonna hurt this guy a little bit because it's good for him. This this is what the even the voters of use of we're like, throw this kid in a row, because dad needs a reality check who he really should be loving. This is we're doing therapy for father, who's good for that? Because that's confused. We know what to do. You know, they in their mind, they justify their behavior unless as being mindful. If you're so good at justifying

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yourselves, one day you will be herded like animals in front of Allah. And you better be ready to talk that way. Your your was a good thing. They did that for a good reason. Yeah, Allah. Didn't you see? Don't you understand my superior moral logic, my higher moral ground from which I acted in this way, if you're going to be this defiant with each other, and so both to justify your behaviors, you better be ready to talk that way in front of Allah. And if you're not, then watch out, then back up and put a check on yourself. So in just a couple of words, so we can project that out this is is number nine. And number 10. Allah basically just comprehensively summarized one of the most

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important aspect of our lives, sometimes difficult conversations have to be hard. Sometimes you have to talk about people that are causing harm, you have to,

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but we have guidelines for not to cross that line. And we also have guidelines for if we realize we're on the wrong side of this. And if you're the one being talked about, then Allah says they said without him show you an elaborate biller and the 10 fire didn't even talk about that. He's not going to be able to harm you at all the way you want. If they're talking about you, while allowing for your fellow colleagues, we know believers should place their complete trust in Allah that said, let it go. Let Allah take a hold of that, that words can only go so far. And even if they cause you harm, that's a harm that nobody could have avoided except our last permission. So again, I keep

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taking you back to Swift use it for a reason because natural is there. they schemed against use of Allah said here, they're not going to be able to harm the believers in any way, but they harmed you. So the preliminary well, he ended up as a save, but in the long run, they couldn't do to him that Allah didn't play Ellerbee in Allah. So it may be that the words have an effect. It may be that it causes some harm, but that may also be a part of a larger scheme from Allah, Allah with a larger, larger plan from Allah, no credit of which goes to them. But it might be that Allah has something in store for you. It's even greater, that adversity might come your way because of the talking of

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others it might happen, but there's a greater plan in place in place. So we will not do that make us the biggest people that are mindful of the right kind of majeure and make us not of those who engage in Nigeria in the way that shaitan wants us to engage in America. Hi and welcome Phil Quran Al Hakim when a fan you er can be IoT with

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her annual fascia you will wake up political Allahu Akbar Allahu La Mata stone, okay Salah in the salata kind of mini Nikita Mahkota