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Beware A Jealous Heart

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Nouman Ali Khan

Channel: Nouman Ali Khan

Episode Notes

In Surah An-Nisaa Nouman Ali Khan teaches us about how Allah warns against jealousy and envy. It is what drove iblis out of His grace and what led Cain to kill Abel. When this feeling rests in the heart, it affects all aspects of life and make it hard to be grateful for all of Allah’s gifts. Yet in this ayah, Allah also provides the perfect solution: we must stop comparing ourselves to others and focus on asking Him directly for what you want. This will open the doors to internal peace and security, and is proof of our complete trust in Allah’s grace.

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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there are two out of certain Nisar that I'd like to share with you today. And in one of them, Eliza, which has given us a sense of priority of the kinds of sins that we should stay away from. Often there are, there's a lack of understanding of the kinds of sense of proportion in the life of a Muslim, there are some priorities that are more important than others. Your prayer is more important than some other things. There are other aspects of our of our Islam that make your Islam more beautiful, their preferred acts, but they don't come nearly to the status of the prayer.

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Similarly, when it comes to sins, or shortcomings, there are things that we should do, of course, you should try to enter your home with your right foot. And when you go to the restroom, enter with your left foot and say certain left guard and these are things you should try to do. And ignoring them is somewhat problematic. But then there are things that are major sense. And often what happens when people have a confused or a distorted sense of proportion is that they take care of the small things. They're very careful about the smaller details. I'm following this particular son now, I'm making sure that I did this liquor, I made sure that for example, it's it's Friday today, so I

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decided myself that excetera etc. So they take care of these small things. But at the same time, they ignore the gigantic major sins that are right there in their face, and they're doing them without even thinking about them. That may have to do with maybe earning income in an impermissible way. That may have to do with a major sin like sinner that may have to do with you know, with a major sin like Riba and things like that some big, big evil sins are right there in your face, and you're blind to them as though you're not even doing them. But this other smaller stuff you're doing making yourself feel better that you're practicing the religion, which is why the Quran actually

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gives us a clear sense of proportion. What Allah says in this ayah is in touch to any book about Ramadan, how nanhu if you were to avoid, and make great effort to avoid the major grievous portions of the kinds of things that you have been forbidden from, so there's stuff you're forbidden to do, but there's some pretty serious stuff that you all know that you're not supposed to do, if you can manage staying away from that stuff. Then as for the lesser shortcomings, new kafir uncomfy article will bury away the remaining sense of yours, meaning take care of the serious matters First, take care especially what the Quran will highlight money matters how we make money and how we spend

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money. That's a pretty serious issue, taking care of the rights of the people around us from everyone within the family to extend it in the community people like the orphan or the poor, etc. Taking care of them and not you know, fanatical love your daughter yet. Those are big kinds of sins, then in the way that we conduct our business transactions when you owe somebody money, when you got paid to fulfill a contract, when you were paid to provide a service, the honesty that you do at your job, those are pretty big, heavy items. Similarly, the engagement in one of the greatest crimes mentioned in the Quran financially Riba is a pretty big thing. Similarly, when it comes to our

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chastity, things like Xena, you know, is a major, major thing so major than lessons don't even go close to Atlanta, Cora bozena take care of those things. And yes, you will fall fall short in some other things. Maybe your salon didn't have perfectly Sure. Maybe your will do wasn't amazing. You missed a drop or two here and there. Maybe that happened. Maybe the way maybe when you were reciting Quran or when you were praying, your mind was elsewhere. You know, maybe when you went to do Hajj or Umrah you know you you overlook certain rituals are you didn't do the best. Maybe you lost your patience every once in a while, maybe some things like that happened, those things will be

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compensated for because you're taking care of the major obligations and staying away from major major sins. That's a sense of proportion that the Quran promotes. But what's remarkable to me about this ayah isn't just that allows it just says that he will overlook those sins, you know, where we get often embarrassed about those things. And those shortcomings. Allah adds when Manu tilicho, modellen Karima will enter you into a graceful entry. In other words, those small errors and shortcomings are not going to be highlighted. You are going to be dignified and honored. And those things are, you know, those embarrassing mishaps are going to be almost erased from your record or

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sponged from your record so you're not humiliated when you come before Allah you'll be given

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In a dignified entry, but what's remarkable to me about these ions, in addition is that the IRS right before this one spoke about some major sins like cheating in business and murder.

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And the IRS about after this one even more remarkably, the one that I really wanted to share with you today is actually about one of the major root causes of some very serious sins in life. Allah azza wa jal says, well, Ottoman Noma football Allah Habiba welcome Allah, Bob, don't wish, what you don't wish for the kinds of favor and the kinds of preference, Allah has given some people over other people.

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So what happens to you and if we see somebody that has more money than we do, they have better appearance than we do. They have a nicer car than we do. They have a better maybe married life than we do. Maybe they have, you know, better some some sometimes I've even heard even among siblings, my sister has better complexion than I do. She's more beautiful than I am.

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Jealousy can take many forms, you can just envy somebody for what they have, and become obsessed with why you don't have it. And it consumes you. And it can be the smallest thing, it can be the biggest thing. You know, it could be things like money and material things. It could be immaterial things. It could be even the love of a father or the love of a mother. Why does dad loved this one so much? I never get that kind of attention. You know, she never blames him. She always blames me, she gets mad at me, but she's always nice to her. You know, there can be this kind of thing happens among siblings, you know? And parents sometimes don't help because they keep reminding one of them.

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He's smarter, why can't you be more like Him and, you know, create that jealousy even more inside a family? Allah azza wa jal started here by saying, don't wish for what other people have been given by Allah Himself, there are preferences. In fact, there are people better looking than you and me, there aren't people smarter than us, there are people that are more knowledgeable, there are people that make more money, there are people in your family that get more appreciation than you do. It's a fact. That's just a fact. And sometimes it's clearly unfair. But in some of those things, it's simply a lie has opened the door of risk for them, that he didn't open for you. And he opened other

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doors for you. But what happens for you is, you want the same things that somebody else has,

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Allah did not make you the same as anyone else. And a lot did not open the doors of provision of this for you that he opened for other people. Each of us has a unique set of opportunities. And we're going to have to work hard to earn a last favor from within whatever we've been given, not comparing ourselves to anybody else. Before we get to the rest of this ayah and the positive reinforcement inside of this ayah. I want to share with you why this is a root cause from any major sense. As a matter of fact, the first grievous you know, rebellion against a law that we know of in recorded history, is the rebellion of a police, which is rooted in jealousy that started Why, why

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does he get the attention? Wait, he's just made of claim. That's where that started. The first crime that ever took place on the earth, when humanity came on this earth is the killing of hobbyists by his brother cabin. That's also a matter of jealousy.

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This jealousy can be so heinous and so ugly, that even when you are the son of a prophet named Yaqoob, and a Salah, and your brother himself is a remarkable child, who even if you don't know he has, is not a prophet yet has prophetic qualities. It can lead you to the point where you're even willing to kill your brother. What I'm trying to get out is jealousy and envy are not to be underestimated. They may seem like something going on inside of you, or inside of me, it's just a feeling that I have. It's just an itch that I have literally, by the way, a hazard is actually an electrician literally appeal and a scratch. They describe it as a an insatiable itch inside of the

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heart. Like when some locust or bug bites your skin, and you want to just keep scraping it, that it's this and the more you scrape it, the worse it gets, the worse it gets. You're just supposed to ignore it and let it pass. The feeling may come but you have to let it pass. That's actually what has said is, you know, Al Hassan Rahim Allah, Allahu Allah and who said that I've never seen anybody who's a wrongdoer that looks more like the victim than someone who's jealous.

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You know, someone who's a wrongdoer has a victim. But in this case, the wrongdoer is the victim. That's what he says he's the wrongdoer. He's doing jealousy. But he's the victim himself. This is why in one of the remarkable suitors of seeking a loss protection, we seek protection of someone who acts jealously. Woman surely has hidden either hazard. We asked for we asked refuge from the evil of the one who's envious, especially at the time that he's demonstrating his or her envy at that very moment. It's a very, very serious thing. It

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can lead to some very serious problems in my life and in yours. And I want to just count for myself and maybe refresh in my mind, what kinds of blessings I may deprive myself of when I become a victim of jealousy when I myself can't stop thinking about what somebody else has, or what I wish somebody else had specific just to be clear. It's actually dominis a while in Naima Lee dooney.

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Do you wish that somebody else no longer had it? You don't just wish Okay, this one is so you know, so strong. I wish I was that strong. No, no, no, no, I wish they get sick and I get strong.

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You want them to not have it anymore? Why do they have it? Why did they I hope he gets fired. Not only Okay, he got a promotion, I hope I get a promotion when they No, no, no, I hope he gets fired and I get a promotion. That's husbands. You want them this, you want to see them fail something in you just desires to see them come down. which adds to risk in nothing. It doesn't add anything for you. But somehow inside of you, there's this feeling that if you can see them fail, or if you can see them suffer, it will make you feel better, some in some way. That's what hazard is. Now how does it ruin one's blessings? We know about the police, that Allah azzawajal ranked him among the angels.

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There's no higher rank than that possible. Among the above Allah it's just jealousy that brings him from the highest to the lowest and furthest away from Allah. Can you imagine the greatest of honors has been removed, and the root cause of jealousy, the root cause of itself entitlement

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you have as a result of jealousy, or the committing of a crime, the murder which the prophets of Allah will describe the suta la vaca Anima khattala NASA Jamia that murder that first murder, when talking about it, Allah says anyone from here on who commits the act of murder, it is as though they have killed all of humanity. They have massacred all of humanity. That grievous sin goes back to jealousy. The point that all of this is supposed to make is that we need to identify in ourselves if we carry this disease. If I see if I feel in myself, that there's someone you know, people do this in every sphere, by the way, it's not just about money and looks and attention in a family. This

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even happens in the religious sphere. Hey, you know, shave, you know that other shift, he has more hits on his videos? Have you compared your followers to his? Why? What?

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What does that? Why is he getting the? Why is he getting the keynote speech at the convention? Why did I get the morning session and he's getting the evening session?

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You know, why and this can happen within massagin Hey, there must be their fundraiser, they raise this much money, we only raise this much money. We don't even in the same city.

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This kind of competition angelin not just competition, jealousy. Why are they succeeding? Why are they doing better? It can hit you even inside the world of religion. This is actually the reason one of the main reasons why Bono is strong in who the the Sahaba thought will be the first people to believe

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Fatima Allah and Mineola concrete answers. Are you very hopeful that they'll accept what you're saying? Because they were people of Scripture. They knew the revelation, they recognize the profit that they will record the way they will recognize their own kids. What is it that kept them from coming? It was actually a jealousy.

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It was they couldn't stand that the favor would go to someone else and wouldn't come to them. If they want it to be deprived from Muhammad Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam and come to them.

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This, it there is no sphere of your life where this can't affect you. It will take over it'll ruin your work life, your business life, your family life, your personal life, your spiritual life. Your communal life is every sphere of your life, this can affect you. Well, and by the way, one of the most common forms of jealousy that I've only come across more recently, as I travel is a lot of people a lot of sisters actually come to me and asked me I'm going to get in trouble for saying this. But that's okay.

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They'll say Oh, how come the Quran has these these rules for men, but he has totally different rules for women? How can men don't have to cover?

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I've been asked that question. How can men don't have to cover? How can we have these diverse laws and they seem to be tipped in the favor of men and not women? And you know what? And what are women going to get an agenda? And you know, and I'm not saying those are questions that should be ridiculed. But there's one thing that we have to be careful about, we're talking about Allah, Who when he gives regulation, I only try to learn his regular I didn't come up with the policy. I only try to understand the policy and teach the policy. But the one who gave the policy is the Most Merciful is the most loving is the most fair. And if that question already

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smells of I think there's something unfair here, or I feel there's something unfair here. That's a very serious problem.

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That feeling that somehow I have been shortchanged, even by Allah, even by Allah in what he gave, you know, I need to understand exactly why Allah told me to do what he did. Let me tell you, if somebody asked me, Why did Allah reveal, for example, for women to cover? For instance? My honest answer will be I don't know.

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Honestly, I can think of reasons for myself some benefits of the regulation. But that's not because Allah revealed those benefits. That's just something I can think of. And I'm not going to be I'm not going to dare say, Well, here are the reasons Allah gave the regulation of him out of covering of jilbab. And here are the reasons because those are just those are not reasons from Allah. Often Allah will give you something and not give you a reason. But he will say that you should reflect on your own.

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If you reflect on your own, why you think of yourself for yourself, why, and Allah will not give you a revelation, I know one thing for sure, what he gives is a mercy and what he gives us fear was this, what am I saying these are By the way, these are two sort of Nyssa are after the art of inheritance. And of course an inheritance is not equal distribution in the some men and women don't get equal share, whether their spouses or daughters or mothers, they don't get equal share their division is different. So the thought does occur. And so what does Allah say? Literally jolliness EVO mimic de Sabu. While in Misha in a sable mimic the sadhana

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men are only going to get part of the share that they earned themselves. And women will get from what they what ever they earned themselves. It's interesting the use of the word meaning that phrase, you're not going to get everything you work for in this life, you get a part of it. Part of it's reserved for later, or you worked in this life, but some of it wasn't worthy of being compensated. Some of it wasn't, you know, your intentions weren't pure enough, your deed wasn't pure enough. So you'll only get the part of it that you actually earned, that was actually good and worthy of being compensated, not all of it. And Allah says I have standards for men, and I have

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standards for women stop wishing for what the other has quit wishing for what the other has and then he says what Allah has been for the one of the most remarkable phrases in the Quran within the same ayah he says an ask Allah for his favor. By the way, football here isn't just favorite favorites preference. You see in jealousy when a person feels that this one has fuddle over me, or I have fallen over them. You know, this one has fallen over me or a preference over me in terms of wealth, or in terms of appearance or in terms of opportunity. Or a girl might feel that way in a house when her sister gets proposed marriage proposals and she's not getting any marriage proposals. This one

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has a fuddle over me. Allah says you want fuddled, instead of asking for that preference over another creation of Allah, ask Allah to give you a funnel from him. Stop comparing what others are getting. Focus on what more you can get from Allah Himself.

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Almost pretend nobody else exists. Don't worry about anybody else. If you can internalize that you live a much happier life. By the way. When you're sitting in a class, and you're the only one who's not understanding your loss, the teacher is like talking about something and you're like, I don't know even what planet I'm on. I lost him like 10 minutes ago, why am I even sitting here? And the guy next to you or the girl next to you is answering every single question raising your hand and you're like, I'm gonna run this kid over in the parking lot. I hate this guy. It makes me feel so dumb. Because he answers every single question. You know what's just happened? All of your focus is

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on someone who you think is smarter than you? Or is a teacher's pet, or is a show off or is getting all the attention and your is they're making you look bad or embarrassing you while you forgot why you're there. You're a student. When you're sitting in a classroom, nobody else exists. It's just you and the teacher. You came there to learn. And you should embarrass yourself and say, I lost you. You need to explain yourself again.

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You owe that to yourself. You can't be embarrassed to ask you came to get to further yourself, not to prove your worth to anybody else. That's not what you come to learn. The same way at work the same way in your family. You don't just silence yourself and wither yourself away because somebody else was given a preference. If something is wrong, you speak up. If something you're entitled to something you speak up, you say it

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and you don't remain you don't just keep burning on the inside and letting that fester and create a hate inside of you. One of the things we Begala when we come before him on Judgement Day is well attach Alfie Palutena Hello, Linda Rena Amano

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Do not place real meaning ill feeling towards other believers in our hearts. We don't want

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In dystonia, and Allah will remove it, actually, in general, he removes that agenda. So it can happen in this life. It can happen that you develop an ill feeling, oh, this person doesn't deserve the position they're in. They don't deserve to be doing this, or the other. You don't feel that way fine. There are people that will say, well, this one gets paid a lot more than I do. You know, why did they get paid more than I do?

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Or why you know, and what is it your business what they get paid? What are you doing? What have you earned and if you feel that you should be earning more than you should make a case for it. And say, here, I deserve more and here's why not because of someone else, but because of your own merits. Was Allah have been fugly? He asked a lot from his own favor, in the law cannot be cliche and Allah Allah has always known everything. Stop Lee and stop, you know, when we start becoming victims By comparison, when we stop thinking of ourselves as a man, as a woman, as anybody, we stopped thinking of ourselves as we've been left behind because of other people. There's nobody between you and

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Allah, and you want to get ahead ask Allah to get ahead. ask Allah what Allah have in front of me. Otherwise, you'll just spend your life complaining about how other people have done you wrong, and how other people have denied you opportunity, how now everybody got and you didn't get and you're just going to be miserable and people around you are going to be miserable because of you.

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This is the protection Allah has given us in this remarkable ayah.

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You know, the last thing I want to share with you about this ayah especially when you recite woman Shall we have sitting either Hassan is paying special attention to the word either. Some argue that the word hassad someone who's jealous is described here as a quality, not even just literally as an as some sofa, but or some file but rather as a as an adjective for a person meaning a jealous person who tends to be jealous. A person who tends to have that quality. But the use of the word either is suggesting something. If you have that quality, then eventually it will come out in some ugly way.

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You will end up doing something bad sooner or later. Because you have that quality. You don't want to become a hazard. And you want to stay away from people that are you want to stay away from the potential evil and harm that they can do.

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And keep us from becoming pieces of people of hazard. And may Allah protect us from those who do hazard against us. Malaria will not allow our deeds to be destroyed, like the Prophet sallallahu alayhi Salaam promised that for the one who engages in envy and jealousy, what happens to them, their deeds are burnt their good deeds are burnt away, like fire burns away all dry would. You know? Why did he say that? Because when you're jealous, it's impossible for you to be grateful. Impossible.

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Because when you're jealous, you're only thinking about what you don't have.

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And your deeds, your your relationship with Allah is based on one thing, constantly acknowledging what you do have. That's how you become grateful to Allah. If you're only thinking about what you don't have, it's impossible for you to be grateful. There's no way you can be up Densha Quran a grateful slave to Allah. If jealousy lies inside of your heart that's that becomes impossible. Wherefore May Allah azza wa jal makers, people that can remove jealousy from our hearts and truly make us people of gratitude. And may Allah make us of those who do genuinely ask Allah for his preference and make our lives in our situations better by His grace barakallahu li walakum Quranic

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Hakim, when in fact anyone here can be hired.

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And hamdu lillahi Wa Wa salatu wa salam O Allah, Latina, Safa Hussain, Mohammed amin, Mohammed Al amin, rather and he was very vocal Allah azza wa jal

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Nakula. Let him initiate an uprising in Oklahoma. So who is aluna? Allenby yeah you Hello Nina amanu sallu alayhi wa sallam waters Lima Allahumma salli ala Muhammad wa ala Muhammad masala tada Abraham. Abraham I fly them in in Madrid Allahumma barik ala Muhammad Ali Mohammed Ibrahim. Ibrahim al al Ameen in me de Madrid, la rahima como la la in the La Jolla

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is in Cordoba, Vienna and is Russia. He will mooncup what are the Kuru La La La Jolla la Motta stone, Salah in a salata kind of mini Nikita makuta