Channel: Nouman Ali Khan
Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan explicitly talks about the people that are trying to hold on to any strand of religion but have become the outcasts of this ummah in their own homes and family and are the objects of ridicule.
If one is studying the deen and destroying family relations at the same time, we must realize that our priorities are somewhere they shouldn’t be. It is paramount that we fix family ties. This is a fundamental of our religion. It’s a fundamental premise of our Deen.
How do we go about preaching religion without making it a big deal? We should strive to make da’ee and da’wah as nothing but rather, we must learn to take the hits and the insults and live with them. We must endeavor to change their behavior towards us. Be the best to your family and that is the da’wah of Islam.
Hence, it is essential that we pray to Allah to give us a sense of perspective and concern for the rest of this ummah and to teach us how to use our knowledge wisely and to deliver the words of advice and our naseehah in a place that is appropriate.also, we must make dua to Allah to put barakah in our words and reward us for the efforts that we make to serve his Deen.
salatu salam ala rasulillah.
I didn't share a title because this was not going to be a lecture it was going to be a rant.
And it was going to be a rant about a frustration I've been feeling for a long time that I want to share with you. And hopefully I want you to feel that feel it with me if you don't already. Okay.
humble enough, humble hamdulillah. I've gotten a chance to get intimately close to a good number of communities all over the country. And I've noticed a serious contradiction.
You have a town like Houston, and you have Muslims spending,
you know, more than almost three weeks studying Islam day and night, in one part of it. And not too far from here, maybe within a one mile radius. You have Muslims doing things I can't say here.
And it's the majority.
You have massages where people are coming from for Juma prayer. And
they have some serious, serious problems. Like when I say serious problems, I'm not just talking about theological issues, which are serious. I'm not just talking about issues of ignorance in terms of knowledge, that's serious. I'm talking about serious psychological problem, serious family problems, drug, alcohol, you name it, they're coming to Friday prayer.
And the one place that's supposed to give them their solutions, guess what?
We're going across the country and soprano lights a gift of a law that we massage and have now become a part of the American landscape.
massages are incredibly we've got large multimillion dollar properties. I mean, we're huge, we're huge. And so proud about how we were able to raise those funds, because usually, the mushrooms in the world landscape, they are government funded projects, or their public projects. These are privately funded institutions that are being built all over this country. And yet, these same machines are not equipped, not nearly equipped, for the most part, to deal with some of the most basic problems of the Muslim community.
I'm going to share this problem with you at three levels. First of all, just talk about the youth. Just to you.
I would argue theoretically, that there are three kinds of youth, Muslim youth, three kinds of Muslim youth, there's the you kind of us, you know what that means? They're somehow identified as religious. They're attending religious programs, and they're learning it in whatever capacity they're attending some sort of a halaqa they have some sort of a relationship with an Imam or two. Right? They're watching videos on YouTube downloading mp3 is off the internet reading articles, books, listen, that attend, you know,
blogging on like, you know, religious websites, asking footwork questions, that sort of thing. Religious you.
On the other end of the spectrum, you have the messed up youth.
Who are these guys, these guys are Muslim to, which you wouldn't know, you would not know. And the things that you say a little while to the things that you pass. One is lack of water level. That's nothing for them. That's just the beginning. They are up to some really bad stuff.
Really bad. And it's so bad that if I sit and we've actually done this in Virginia, when I was there, sit down with a couple of Imams, and you explain to them what the youth are doing. You can take a couple of messed up youth that you can talk to and bring them over and you say why don't you mister messed up youth? Tell Mr. Imam here? What you guys are up to?
And the man refuses to believe it. Now, come on, that's no, that's impossible. Does that even exist? Yep. that exists. It's a scary reality. That is the rest of us. And then there's the middle, you know who they are. They used to be party animals. And they somehow accidentally stumbled upon an MSA or accidentally clicked on a YouTube video.
Or they one of their friends became religious or something. And so they're kinda sorta inclined, maybe they'll pull it up on sometimes. Maybe they'll let it grow for a couple of days. Right? But then they sometimes reflect and they get pulled here that they're sort of in the middle. So they're good kids. They're good kids. They're not as bad as the rest of you, but they're in the middle. So you got three kinds of use. You know, my theory is my theory is most of us were messed up.
In law, Mashallah. Most of us were messed up.
And then slowly, we started transitioning. And eventually we became what you could call religious youth. A lot of us, okay, you became what you I'm not saying you're good people. I'm just giving a social term, okay. I don't know the state of your mind and you don't know the state of mind.
We became religious and when you become religious, you know what happens, the way they speak changes the things they like and they dislike changes. The the friends, they keep company with naturally changes because how do you make friends you make friends based on common social activities, right? So you obviously you're not hitting up the movie theater not going to the club anymore. You're not hanging out with your non Muslim friends who curse you know, all the time. So obviously you found new friends at the masjid. You found friends among students of knowledge, etc. Because your culture changed their culture went through a paradigm shift. And this change. You know, who started noticing
this change in you, your family. We'll talk about that a little later. When you when a lot of you went through this change, your family started noticing that you're going through a change for a lot of you this is a reality. But then for others, you got cut off from your friends, you sort of slowly got drifted away completely from your friends. Now tell me if I was to put percentages on this. What percent of the youth do you think are religious? Just the one number out there.
You're very generous.
I give a fraction of a percent
I'll give a fraction of a percent for religious you
I say about 10 20% at the most would be the kind of sorta convention you write those you and then I would say probably the vast majority of Muslim kids. Muslim you are messed up.
They're entirely messed up. And they have little to no exposure to Islam. But you know, the gift of a lot to us. The gift of a lot of us is even then most of us a good number of them show up for Juma prayer.
Even they show up to Juma prayer. Now,
you know this this event has a tuition you have to make a sacrifice to come here. You have to take a flight you have to book a hotel. He has to make arrangements to be here. If there is a program at the machine flyers have to be passed out Facebook events have to be made emails have to be sent out. People have to make phone calls encourage each other to show up how many flyers are sent out presume offer.
Any Facebook event presume offer coming this Friday, nothing.
Nobody has a theme. I don't know if I'm coming this week. I don't know what
kind of protein that makes you want to bang your head on the wall you still go.
Allah created this institution for which it's a national convention of the Muslims every week
so that Muslims can stay in touch with their religion, no matter how messed up they get. There's still something there. So now I want you to appreciate what a strategic role what a critical role the hotbar plays in the life of a community.
I'm giving you a series on reality. I'm giving you just realistic personal experience stories. Kid shoots up some drugs in the parking lot of the mushroom in his car, sniffs it up, then comes to him up here.
He comes there. And he's listening to a football about some technicalities that were discussed in the eighth century, or the 12th century. Or he hears names of 18 scholars that this guy, this young guy who's a student of knowledge, he learned all this knowledge and he's got to regurgitate it somewhere. So guess where he finds the opportunity to regurgitate his knowledge? At the member, he's going to let people know how much he learned.
Right? Does anybody in the audience care? Nope. And then you know what else to use? Does? It use brings up and this some of you are not gonna like what I'm gonna say, but I'm gonna say it anyway, because it hurts my feelings. Only because of that, and I'm seriously concerned. There's a, you know, the religious youth are of different ideologies. The religious youth belong to different ideologies. And because we're used, and before we were used, it was this gang versus that gang gang, Lakers vs Knicks or whatever, back in the day, bulls versus whatever spurs. But after Islam after you became religious guess what it became this school versus that school, this theological
understanding versus the theological understanding this many taraweeh versus that many color with this machine versus that machine, this amount versus this speaker versus that speaker? There was a bad guy, he'll send you to hell to almost have that guy, he'll send you the hell Oh, man, did you listen to that guy? Well, you're going to help you, okay, then I don't want to talk to you anymore. We created this.
Not based on knowledge, most of it. Most of it is based on just immature, immature rhetoric, immature garbage. So we and we brought this where the tragedy is we brought this immature nonsense to the member.
We brought it to the member.
So in essence, I mean, I went to business school. So I'm thinking of from a marketing business point of view, okay. Here we are a fraction of a percent, debating and fighting each other,
over territory over how much of the Muslims
that fraction of that 1% while the rest of them can forget. Who cares? Who cares about them. I don't even care. We have forgotten that. They
exist, our debates, our blogs, our discourse is relevant to of small minority, you should be grateful that you're even having that discussion. The vast majority of people are gone. They are out there. I gave, you know, give the divine speech seminar, and it's open to Muslims and non Muslims. So a few non Muslims have attended also.
The one I gave in Tampa, Florida,
this youth came up to me at the end. And the first time is just the beauty of social science. It's a little bit technical, most of it's pretty straightforward. He came up to me at the end, he said, I haven't been in the machine for six months. One of our friends told me to come because it's free fruit food tonight. You don't even told me. And then he pulled me to the side. And he told me the kind is 17 years old Muslim kid is into martial arts, you know, well built kind of guy. And he's done things in his life that you wouldn't want to know about. He's already done them. So how do I change myself? I'm addicted already. How do I get rid of this stuff? And why is he asking me I don't
live there. I'm just coming to visit who should he be asking this question? Who should be there for him?
The youth group of the knowledgeable kid the US.
You got what your job. You're the ambassador's of Islam. That's what you are. Now, the warning. The warning label I present to you is what you learn at an advanced level, like even the lecture on Bulava. What you learn at an intermediate advanced level is not there that you regurgitated to the masses. That's a mistake. People The reason that you can't give that to people, if they were ready for that they would have been here.
They're not ready for that. They need something much more basic, you need to water it down. You need to keep the message simple. You know we, on the one hand, our religion is so sophisticated. And it's so intellectual and so deep. And you guys appreciate that you've been studying Dean. But on the other hand, if you just start reading for iron, and you read what the messengers say to the people, on another level, isn't it so simple? First of all, how to have the kavala Follow me?
Simple to keeping it simple, fear the fire, nothing complicated, you can get into a discussion about what are the features of the fire?
Right, and you can write a 50 page thesis on the Hellfire or the features of paradise. But a farmer doesn't need a thesis, all he needs to hear is man I want to go to Paradise. I don't want to go to hell fire. You keep it simple. What have we done, we've done this injustice to our own. Number one, we've done this injustice to our own. Now here's a strategic plan of action brothers and sisters, please listen to this carefully, inshallah. And make up your own strategy. This is just some things that are rattling around in my mind.
The religious youth, once they become religious, they create a certain kind of language and culture, which automatically cuts themselves off from the not so religious youth, and especially cut themselves off from who what's the third category? The most of you completely custom server, okay.
who's supposed to reach them? On the one hand, we talk about that a lot to Islam,
bringing new Muslims in, which is an obligation, on the other hand, our own are leaving by the floodgates. They're becoming religious by the trickles, and they're leaving by the capacitors open the gushing out. So you it's counterproductive to not be concerned with the loss of our own, but the loss of our own. Now, how do we do this? How do we do this? First and foremost, don't expect the people to come to you, you have to go to the people, you have to do that. You have to start thinking like that. And you know where the people are? Let me tell you where the people are. They're not in nice places. There are the shisha place.
There or the pool place. They're playing at the ballpark where the guys use foul language all the time. Right there are those places. I'm not saying you become one of them. But you know what, those are the members of this oma. And when they said La Ilaha Illa Maya at any point in their life, they become more beloved to me than what blood makes the connection that I'm formed with blood. This is thicker than blood. We are concerned about them. We love them for the sake of Allah.
We start thinking in terms of hon maruf in the honeymoon, could we start bashing in you know, cursing the Muslims who sell alcohol or who own these haram businesses or that do haram things on the internet, etc, etc. Did anybody start to think maybe I should try and save this person? What if this person was your brother? What is the first one was your neighbor What is your best friend you would just hate on them just like that. Right? We don't have love for this oma
too easy to to click that pass judgment on them. We have to you know find a way to start pulling them in slowly pulling them out. You can't do that until you treat people like human beings. You can't do that. If you treat them like evildoers or just you know, this this you know this label fast, simple.
You know, deviant or whatever else, you know, there are a few dozen messed up, forget them. No, no, no, no, no. These are the assets of the sama. Allah gave them the blessing of La ilaha illa Allah because Allah sees something in them.
And Allah gave us the whatever he gave us whatever concern he gave us, because he, he expects us to do something with it. He expects something out of us. So this is the first thing I want to at least, there should be a discussion in your circles. I can't give you the answers. I can least give you the problem. In your own circles, there needs to be a discussion. How do we reach out to these youth? How do we work with them? I'll give you a couple of interesting stories. There was a youth group I won't mention where it was that you know, had messed up kids too, because they used to play basketball. And they used to go out and hang out later on eat at the restaurant, nothing religious
for a while. And the guy running the youth group was very religious.
And I told him just run the group man. Just don't worry about teaching them anything. Just run the one the thing, right, and the machine has a ball gym, a basketball gym, so they come in and they play ball to play late at night. They're using filthy language in the mustard gym. If an uncle season especially this young girl was gonna happen. Oh, forget about it.
Yes, he's like, get out of here, you know? And don't come back. Hey, what can I do?
Right? Now tell me this. This guy with tattoos all over his body rings in places you wouldn't want playing basketball. You curse him out? Where's he gonna go?
What's the next step? If he's not here? He's at the club.
He's somewhere else at least easier. At least he'll he'll be around for an hour. Maybe he might even join us for slot one day in a few weeks. Maybe. But somebody has to treat this person like what first? A person a human being someone worth, you know, saving. Or at least they should be given the message in a decent fashion that they deserve that much. Now, give you another example. Just what's going on into massage from about two years ago. A guy totally drunk. I mean, this guy's drunk.
Muslim guy walks into the machine during calavia can even stand straight.
Yes, what happens next?
Pick him up.
Dude, he came to the machine. Does that tell you something?
Does that tell you that he's trying to seek help? That's how he's trying to quit? Why would he bring himself in the middle of humiliation? Why would he do that? He needs to help you. The only help you provide was courage and yell and learn. Pick him up. This is what we do the Muslims imagine what we do the non Muslims.
This is a Muslim. Now give me give me a non Muslim story. You may have heard this one on the video somewhere. True story again. So this guy is a Vietnamese guy is Muslim. And his coworker is an idol worshipper. You know which Vietnamese have a lot of different idol worship, sort of religious traditions. And he's one of I forget which one specifically. But the coworker the idolatrous coworker says to his Muslim coworker, Hey, man, I want to come with you to your worship on Friday. So the guy keeps pulling him off. No, no, no, I don't know. I don't think you're ready. But he keeps insisting so he takes him to the machine.
So we go to the machine.
And they go to the machine and he says he looks around and everybody's speaking Riku and sudo. Then PM, everybody's making some noise before Juma time. He says, Man, where's the statue?
everybody's kind of doing this stuff. But I don't see any statue. He says no, no, we don't have a statue. You can you can, you know, put an image to the master of the worlds is beyond images. And we'll be putting a limit on him. This is so amazing. How do you pray to this God? This is like just like these people are praying. So he sees people doing what?
I get it.
When done like that. Guess where he learned that from?
From his own religion. Right? So this brother sees this from a distance.
Versus in the spirit of I'm gonna build my roof and then he added one car, he gets up. It comes over, grabs the guy by the shirt, drags him outside the machine, throws him out and says until you learn to make this law according to the sooner don't you come back.
We at the machine level are not ready to deal with the people that need our help. We're not ready. What if a woman inappropriately dressed walks into the machine? What's going to happen? What if a guy that's covered in tattoos? Like some MMA fighter or something? boxing them as elders members? Oh my god, but y'all games early.
On I will break loose. We're not ready to deal with people. What are we talking about? What are the data centers you don't need to build a data center? They're already built. What are they?
Who are the darlings of the masjid? The students of knowledge the youth they are the they are the eyes in the ears of this oma they are the faculties
This work, you.
So you have to understand, number one, the critical role that you're in as far as the work of this home is concerned, but I want to bring it closer to home. Remember I said when you turn turn a religious leaf who starts noticing you're changing your family. Let's talk about that a little bit. So your family starts noticing that you're not taking that thing off your head.
Your family also started noticing that it's getting a little fuzzy out here.
And your friends have the fuzzy stuff to
your friends changed. You don't hang out with those other boys anymore. So your mom gets a little concerned. She says I want you to be Muslim, but not Muslim, Muslim.
This is not why you came to America.
Right? You get concerned, you get concerned about the mother says to the daughter, the father says to daughter who's going to marry you looking like that?
You don't do this, my son and our family.
Why don't you act like the rest of the family. But somehow you're embarrassing us. We can take you to the wedding looking like that. We can take you here, the faces, you know people that faces. In other words, what's happened is the people that are trying to hold on to any strand of the religion have become the outcasts of the oma in their own home. They have become the outcast and you're the weirdos where this is the weirdo convention right here. We are the outcasts of our own families. We are the objects of ridicule. You get it you go to the IID gathering for most of you all Mallanna is here.
It should be the first law so is this how long to
remember last year when used to be partying with us what happened? no religious style, okay, we get it. We understand you become the object of ridicule and through you Islam. And when you hear Islam, Islam being made fun of or Halloween Halloween being toyed around with at the end of a coffee table? What happens to you, young Muslim girl?
And when that happens to you, what do you do?
Oh, you're pulling your culture, religion slam the door walkout? And then your parents come back to you and say, Oh, so this is what the religion teaches you right? Talk to your parents like that. Gotcha. Good.
I got you on luck.
Understand this. When you become serious about religion, be mentally prepared. Some of you are blessed with you know, very good families 100 in love, but many of you have this trial. Or you know, people who have this trial. You know, one of the worst things in our Deen, one of the worst things in our Deen is so much as talking back to our parents. Right? Now, no, this No, this as a reality. I see a lot of young faces here. So I say this. No, this, your father for the sons here. Your father knows exactly what to say, to get under your skin and make it burn.
He knows exactly what to say. And he knows that it burns too. And he says it anyway. You know why? Because he hates you. Because he wants to see what you're going to do that.
He wants to test your patience. And if you do snap, if you do flip out, he's gonna say, Aha, this is what the religion teaches you.
This is what the demands have been telling you. This is what I didn't commit.
That's what's gonna happen.
You come back, you come back with a B in your math in your calculus class, guess what's going to be blamed your religion, your religion, you lose your job, guess what's going to be blamed. Religion by who? Not Muslims, your family. This is because of that case of yours. This is because you're always going to the mustard. That's why they probably fired you. This is why you failed. In other words, all of your successes will be overlooked. And all of your failures will be attributed to psychological war inside your home. It's a psychological battle inside your home. And your if you want all of the good that you're trying to do, you're trying to attend classes, go to conferences in
the company. If you listen to hours and hours of lectures, stay away from music, stay away from movies favorite bad companies, keep your eyes low. Oh my god, there's so much to do. You want to watch all of that, multiply that by zero talk back to your parents for a second.
And we do we do if we can take it. It gets under our skin. It boils over and we say How dare you and then we just that one time you snap done?
There's a reason that Allah azza wa jal puts, you know the the the grant the gratefulness to them at such a high regard. And you know, if your blood boils, if they do something wrong, I would think Ibrahim Ali Salaam blood would boil a lot more because his dad makes idols. Talk about a bad leader.
Right? He makes them How does he talk to him?
Respect. Love. Yeah, Betty, my beloved father
My boy, he's kicking them out of the house. He says, I made the offer you
asked my master to forgive you. And he's getting kicked out of the house, not fine. I'm on the sadhana, know
that the discourse, it's a different discourse. We have to learn, we have to learn to grow a thick skin. I'll tell you a personal story. You'll enjoy this story. My dad experimented with me. And my mom taught me she realized what he's doing. And she said, Listen, you need to understand, learn how to play the game. And then I was like, I've been a dummy for so long. I didn't know. You know, my dad did. My dad loves to do this. He comes to me and says, I was listening to the car speaker, he's so good.
And he makes a lot of good points. And he just goes on and on and on top of the car guy, and you know, how they have really good arguments and stuff. And I'm just, I'm cringing. And like, my face is turning colors. And then my mom told me how to play the game. So the next time he came up to me and said that I said, Yeah, I heard him. He's awesome. I mean, his arguments were unbelievable, but that's how
I ended that conversation right there.
But the idea is, know that your parents will psychologically test you. You you think they don't understand when they were changing your diapers, they understand you. They know what you're all about. They've sized you up. They have. Don't underestimate them, though. They don't get it. They don't understand my concerns about Islam. They do. Please, do relax. Learn to first develop the family relations. If you are studying the deen and you're destroying family relations at the same time. your priorities are somewhere they shouldn't be. You need to fix family ties. This is a fundamental of our religion. It's a fundamental premise of our Deen. And now let me tell you what
the last thing I want to share with you about my rant about how there's this dichotomy.
You don't have to raise your hands I'm going to make I'm going to stereotype all of you anyway. I've already stereotype you as the as the weirdos in your family.
Why would I not put you in that family anyway? Why wouldn't you put you like in a more diverse family? Or like mama Sharpies lineage? Where all your uncle's are for father for our own? Why do you have a sister? That's so nasty?
Why do you have a brother? That's Oh my God, I don't believe this guy. Why do you have cousins that are just completely on a different planet? If they were not family, you would have never met them, you would never even want to look at them. They're so different from you. And that to me this is my deviant understanding is exactly the point. A lot has always been made us family with people. So we can become Islam, Islam ambassadors to them, because nobody else was going to reach to them. Who was going to reach to them? We were when you're giving when I'm giving a speech to you guys. You're actually here to listen to me. Let me try giving the speech to my cousin.
Let me try giving it to my uncle, which are giving it to my mother. how's it gonna go? Boy,
that's going to be quite
right. karate here. It's just you.
Chef. His parents came in I was really honored. He came in he told me that you came to see me. I was like he didn't even see you. Because it's just me.
Right? families family, it's just family. So you will get overlooked you may have a lot of respect you're running the holiday party or the MSA president you're the puppy you're this you're that you're the Camila and the meat of the Avila you're, you know, you're the guy that went to own summit from the community but you're nothing in the family did nothing. Get used to that. Make that he has nothing. Make that nigga was nothing rather Learn, learn to take the hits. Learn to take the insults and live with them. Pull people out slowly change their behavior towards you be the best to your family. And that is the Tao of the sun. They don't need your speech. They're only the notes from
this class. They only the notes from from from the entire summit. They don't your family doesn't care for them. They don't you know what they need. They need you to go home without asking you to vacuum the house for your parents. You do the groceries, you buy around some flowers, you do stuff without even asking. Your dad always wants you to get better grades. You focus on that one class to show you that he got those benefits. Not for the grades but for your father because making your father happy will serve your deen in the end. Think long term, think long term start thinking about the relationship with your family. I've noticed too often too often too often, young Muslims that
are serious about religious learning are overlooking family obligations. They're overlooking family obligations. And they say this is the bigger problem. And the second tier problem is that they're becoming self righteous without realizing it. What does that mean? They see other Muslims that are in the right. They see other Muslims that are in the Haram and they assume somehow that they are what the best
Or at least you're not doing that stuff and I wouldn't associate with those people where were you two years ago?
When you're not there? Who to who pulls you out? Right? who pulls you out America which I mentioned this before on the part of the journey of this oma? Yeah, you have levena la haka, Ducati. When I moved to LA in the moon taqwa was the first thing. You develop taqwa inside you that brought you to this concern about not dying, unless you are what was your Muslim? And then what held you on to this stuff? What was the next step? Why, because he moved
But then when you hold on to this role, which is the book of Allah, what is the next instruction? Well, that's a farmer who don't divide among yourself. What did we make as an easy observation about religious youth? What happens when they get religious immediately?
division is the first thing that's associated with them. That's
what guru Nirmala How do you know what should be the public discourse? Here's the ayah. make mention of the favor of Allah upon you. Then she will be positive, make make mention of the favor of a lasagna is going to Adda and for Ella Fabien aku. Become
Mati Juana, wear control for control Alaska for 40 million. Now. You all were at the very edge of health.
You just where you were, and kosaku minha when he rescued you from it, era Allah rescue you. So Allah is the one who rescued you. So instead of looking down upon the next, find a way to rescue them, you know, last story, I'll give you an I'm done in sha Allah, one of my heroes
in the country, as far as that was concerned, and real, genuine concern, we should learn something from this brother, his brother Eddie from the dean. So the show, he says corny things sometimes. And that's part of his deal. You know, it's all good, though. But if you if you're hanging out with this guy, he is a Darwin machine. This guy is incredible. He is absolutely incredible. He doesn't see Oh, man. What's this guy gonna think? What's that guy gonna think I'm gonna talk to him about a song. He will talk to everyone. I mean, we were I was walking around just walking down the street with him. And there's this guy in a wheelchair. And we're just waiting. Just stand there waiting across the
street. He turns over. Don't you think we should just worship one God.
And the guys are here. Cool.
Um, so people just worry about themselves. They don't worry about the one who created them. Don't you think so? Because Yeah, I do. Have a five minute conversation. And he says, here's my number. I want you to come over. By the way, this is fun. This is when you really worship one God.
Who would have the courage to just start a conversation with a man this guy's gonna curse me out. He's gonna stab me. You know, if you're in New York, right? What else might happen with the Panama? He doesn't see, you know what might happen? He sees that he has a message to deliver genuine concern. genuinely concerned. His his tenant is he's in a building. And his tenants are some of these guys that are like, like, you know, they work out and stuff. And they're, they do that jujitsu stuff.
Right that Brazilian
ninjas, right. So now listen, guys, a lot of non Muslim guys. A lot of them have become awesome, too. So this one guy, he was I was staying with him at the apartment. And this one guy, one of his tenants. He was about to go into his apartment, but his key got stuck. For You know, sometimes he gets stuck split second. He says he goes, Hey, Mike, come here. I want to talk to you Come inside, I got something for you. And he pulls him into the apartment. What I'm saying is, you know, you asked me I told you about Islam that other day. It was Yeah. Well, here's a guy you can ask everything you want. And put me on the spot.
You know, this guy that the guy was talking to apparently you want it to be an MMA fighter.
I'm like this, literally tattoos everywhere. And he wants to know about Islam, before passing judgment on who he is. Just deliver the message. I know, brothers that were skinheads. They you know, they got their tattoos in prison.
They went to jail for killing black people.
Or allegedly killing them or something, you know, violating their rights, etc. In the most horrendous ways. And when they got released and took Islam, now he has an African American wife. It could.
Right so follow. Don't pass judgment. Don't pass judgment. Don't pass judgment. This is this is the number one problem we're having. undermine that discourse. Make that discussion about the ideological clash, make it irrelevant. There are bigger fish to fry. You got bigger problems. There's a serious reality outside we have to face in our family among the youth of the Muslims and then talk about the Muslims at large now so just give us a sense of perspective and concern for the rest of this oma well as teach us how to use our knowledge wisely and to deliver the words of advice and see how
In the place that is appropriate, Eliza, we will put Baraka in our words because in the end our words don't change people watching these people. So May Allah azza wa jal put Baraka in our words and reward us for the efforts that we make to serve his Deen. So chronic alarm will be handed to Allah, Allah Allah into a stockbroker into Villa, Salaam Alaikum.
Comments, shoes throwing?
how we can read?
Yeah, for our families, the institution now is become YouTube.
You know, for the women in the house and stuff, they need to get hooked on some of the stuff that's available now. And
some of its really, really good. Some of it is really, really good. You have to start finding, you know, there are some speakers that are academic, and there are other speakers that are just pure entertainment value.
Right. And the student of ours is I didn't learn anything from his speech. You didn't learn anything from speech, but a lot of people started praying because they heard that speech. Right. So don't judge a speaker just based on how many I had equal, how many I otic cetera, et cetera. It's also about how they impact people psychologically. Right? Let me give you an example. I went to the, the Ignite convention a couple of years ago, and I was listening to him and said, you know, he's like a father figure to our community, may Allah preserve him and continue to give them Shiva. You know, he's giving a speech. And he's, this be sometimes goes everywhere.
Everywhere, from like, once upon a time, I had a dog to like, everywhere, and I was passing by a truck, all kinds of stories. And at the end of it, a serious student of knowledge will say, I don't know about a speech. But you know, the guy next to me was like, man, I gotta start praying. He didn't say a word about prayer.
But it has that impact. It has that impact. So different people need different things. So since you know the, the temperament of your family members, you have to find the kinds of stuff that they that might appeal to them. And you have to be a little bit more creative. in getting the message to them. Your favorite speakers are not going to be their favorite speakers, for example, right? You have to use a little more creativity. The other thing that some massages have done very successfully, is they've they've made the massage in a place of halau social gathering.
So one of the things that attracted me to the community that I moved to is the families get together all the time and that so much that because the place to hang out and slowly religion comes into play because you're at the mustard anyway. So now just you know, the women start networking with other women that are in touch with the dean and it slowly starts, starts reeling the men. It doesn't have nothing happens overnight, though. Nothing happens overnight. Yeah, I
mentioned something about, you know, youth,
to those with their parents and the parents are provoking them. Sometimes they snap. Yeah, they snap. Father, Son relationship mother daughter relationship is somewhat ruined.
When the child snaps are their parents who think there's tension, right? Okay. We'll get slapped on the side of their feet. Don't move until they kick you off.
Okay. beg them to forgive you.
Kill your ego. When it comes to you kill your ego. Don't say there's tension. We don't talk anymore.
He looks at me funny. That's your ego in the way. Get your ego out of the way. Be at their feet. They love you. Your mother gave you birth. Your dad held you in his arms. There's love there. It's your, your abruptness that caused that friction. But it's you turning back into that two year old that will remove it immediately. Or overtime. But you have to start you have to tear away at it. You have to crush your ego. They don't. Don't expect it from them. Don't expect them to give you an inch. But you have to give miles and miles and miles understand this is a difficult journey. It requires thinking but this is this is a kind of jihad. This is a kind of super long Kabuki had with
the parents are in yada yada and patrika beam la sala kabhi pinata Hama, wa sallahu Macedonia motto, don't obey them but accompany them at the same time.
Then a sister inshallah Yeah.
being judgmental, and it's very, very common this like consistent fight within yourself to try not to be judgmental, not trying to judge people. But it's the same issue that you mentioned, like when we try to act when we actually want to act as ambassadors of Islam. We talk about Islam, we're just giving basically, it's the whole idea of the other person's reaction that gives you that idea. I mean, if the person feels benefited any comments or something like that, it gives the first impression that you get it because I did something
So you do understand that being judgmental, even though without doubt is not, is not excusable is a byproduct of the fact that you have gained some knowledge, which is something that did not happen, you were able to. Yeah, when I say judgmental, I'm not saying you shouldn't be aware of who they are normal, I understand.
We do size them up, basically, you size people up, that's fine. But we don't judge what's in their heart, we don't judge their potential. It's okay to size somebody up and say, Okay, this guy doesn't know much. I better talk to him this way, this way, this way, this person seems to have this kind of problem, you could you could, you know, this is part of the sealer. And this is part of having insight. And this is kind of like, you know, knowing your audience, so part of that is passing some sort of judgment. But I'm seeing not passing judgment on their character that this guy said his fate is sealed. I mean, who How is he ever going to change? How is he ever going to come on? Seriously,
this guy? No, don't don't pass that kind of judgment. But yeah, and in that way, you do have to be cognizant of the age of the person, you're talking to the temperament, their mode of speech, you have to take all these things into consideration before you speak. And that's exactly what we're talking about an eloquence. You need to psychologically assess your audience before you speak to them. You need to kind of have an understanding of where they're coming from, before you address them. Right. Beside any question. So good. Yes, go ahead.
Herman you? Yes.
There are some things you can start doing.
First of all, you need to have amazing youth groups, amazing youth groups. You need I mean, I love Why am I really, I love these guys. I love any youth group. I don't mind. Mass youth. Why am MSA, whatever, it's something, it's something for God's sake, you can whine about it and say, This is their problem. This is their problem. This is it, man. It's something we don't have an endless amount of resources. At least we got something. Right. But the thing that I loved about why am in particular was they had guys that were in gangs coming to my meeting, and like, you know, playing ball or whatever, first of all, every month, she had the biggest investment to me, for teenagers.
ballcourt have a volleyball court. You better have it. You better have like, you know, ping pong tables for the uncles really, and the fact that we're playing tells you we're getting uncles. Okay. But you need a nice basketball court. You need a sisters lounge, a place where sisters can hang out. You know, some of the Muslims lose their way most in suburban towns. big cities, Muslim population is big. A lot of Muslims in college, a lot of Muslims in high school, you kind of sort of you know, even though you're messed up, there's still places avenues you can find a social outlet. Like in Houston, there's a lot of Muslim youth hanging out. Right? But in like Birmingham, Alabama,
where are you going to go to hang out? Right, I hop? Are you gonna go? Right? So what do they do? They did something really smart at the machine to do they made a sister's lounge, a brother's lounge, like is this a place to chill? It's like a Starbucks inside the machine or something. It's not a Starbucks don't pass bottle, okay. They're just hanging out there. They're doing homework. They're, they're discussing their, their, you know, they're socializing at the sisters among themselves. But there's among themselves, they found it and an acceptable outlet to get together. And when they're there, the Adonis called me, so a lot to write. But we need to create these
alternatives. And if they're not there, we need to produce them. And if you know, you don't have to solve the problems of hundreds of 1000s of youth, you know, three or four kids that are messed up, you need to start hanging out with them a little bit, maybe what one part of your Islamic work is that you take them out to dinner every once a week. You don't discuss Islam with them for six months, it's okay. Build a bond with them first, build a connection with them first, and maybe bring up a hadith or two. Or maybe it's slipping a saliva machine. Right? It takes time you're dealing with people you don't they're not, you know, they're not robots. You don't say, this is fun, okay,
and you start praying doesn't work like that, you know, people take time and cheat in curbing their behavior, but you have to build a bond with them first. And that requires a lot of patience. It requires a lot of patience. When you think about the work of the Messenger of Allah solo. Think about the work of no Halesowen. It's not like he's talking to a different audience for 950 years. Who's he talking to? Same bunch, same bunch. You try giving power to somebody, they get annoyed with you in 45 minutes, they get annoyed with you then you come back to the same guy and annoy him again, and then the same guy and you do it for a week.
Can you imagine trying to do that? What the attitude of that person would become towards you? Can you just imagine the messengers are the humans around, go back to the same people over and over and over and over? And who do they go back to first? Who was the messenger commanded to warn first, and then she'll attack and a crabby, right one the closest of your family? That's who we are obliged to warn. Those are the people that that we owe our Dharma to first first. So you know, develop that concern in shallow time. There's a sister in the back and then I'll come to you. Yeah.
Just Just to reel them in, we sort of water it down for them. Yeah, that's a real problem.
Yeah, we should use at least my personal philosophy on it cuz I was in that position at one point to the question. The other question is, you know, sometimes we try to bring the youth in and we try to connect with them and stuff. But then they ask a pointed question, like, is hijab really fun? And you think in your head, Michael, if I tell this girl is fall, then she might never come back? Right? Or the brother if he says, his fault five times. Right? Then he might forget me and just go away. Right? And you out of that fear? You don't share that with them? Well, we are asked, we speak the truth. You can shy away from the truth. But the way you quote The truth is with taqwa.
This is a lost methodology in the fraud. Right? When he doesn't just tell you to obey Him. What does he wrap the heart of obedience with taqwa? Look at look at certain neasa of inheritance. Where did they begin? Yeah, you hand us? It's a horrible look at it out of divorce, and social bacala. Right? Well, what what keeps happening at the end of every iOS de la de la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
Right? be fearful being all over LA. So this this idea of developing declined people? Why should you want to get a job anyway?
You know, just bring the ticket back to the root or every time don't just answer with a yes or no. Make it an opportunity for advice. Right. That's what they really need. They need heartfelt, sincerely felt advice. You know, a lot of times people that are disconnected from the religion want to turn the religious discussion into what is allowed and what is haram. And that's it. And they want to make that debate out of it. I don't think it's that bad. I don't think you know, and they bring it to you from an ethical point of view, other points of view, when you get questions like that, you need to redirect them in what direction, the fundamental core cause for the Muslim you're
not calling them to Iran because they have some of that already. You're calling them to taqwa. ILA, be cautious of Allah, you find a way of instilling that fear. And that all of Allah Shouldn't you know, he's done so much for us. What should we do for him? What do you think, you know, you put it in a psychological way, you don't necessarily try to intellectualize the issue, you try to put it in, in a sort of a heartfelt kind of a way. It's very important, just how you speak to people. Right? It because if you don't speak to them like that, it feels like you're trying to win an argument. And you'll never win that way. Even if you're right, you lose. Even if you win the
argument, you lose because they become antagonistic towards you.
Or you deal with those uncles who are
talking about politics.
Okay, the uncles that are trying to poke you, you should be the best friends to them.
They I know uncles. I should have done a PhD in uncle psychology. Okay.
I know Uncle.
Uncle spokeo you because they get a kick out of irking you. You become their friend. You'll stop bothering. you initiate the discussion. You don't walk away from Hey, come here without coming. I gotta ask you something. No, no, you go to them. You ask them you say I want to go get some Chai after the slot. Chill Out with the elders. And they'll break the ice. You have to initiate that a lot of times youth are allergic to the elders. It's a problem. It's weird. Right? I mean, have a youth group but that doesn't mean you alienate yourself from the elders. Right. It's a big problem in our community that the two are at odds. Sometimes they shouldn't be. It should be one cohesive
whole, right? Yes, I've been holding off on
this topic is way overdue. I really appreciate you addressing
Quick reminder myself is that the IDS where if you are using a lot of guiding of someone's bed in the world.
So whenever we get tired of doing dial on one person we don't see like there any progression going on. Just remember that if you have, if you if you're used to guide someone, it's literally better than everything may not be as fun as either theology or other subjects. very
Yeah. I mean, I think you did an excellent job doing so I think I should hand you the mic to repeat that. Really?
No, just saying there's a hadith that my friends and I when we were in the youth group, and we kind of talked about how we do damage to these kids. And we say that we each pick one kid or one or two kids, we try to focus on them. We don't try to go for like the home run and get like 30 kids
and Hamidullah we've had a lot of success in one of our mantras when our main mottos is the Hadeeth were so a lot tells us
that if you are used by a lot to guide one person, it is literally better than everything in the world, like the entire world and everything in it. And so you know, what I was saying was that it might be you know, not as fun as coming to summit having two weeks of jam packed knowledge, all the shoes and everything. But remember the goal like remember the end is that you're getting everything you're getting something that's better than the world and everything in it inshallah so just like my hair to check them on and sorry about that.
locker says doorman ID. And one of the things that really gives me a lot of optimism for the future is the amount of cooperation that we see for the first time between so many different drafts, and so many different institutions. As you know, manetti is not actually a part per se of a novel. He started in Vienna. And you all know dirty politics that happen every single message every single community. One of the things that have happened to that and I'll tell you in all honesty, and most of them have stayed clear of his politics, and anybody who is inshallah sincere for the Dawa, they find this role model and we find it in them and start Norman under ourselves. As you know, we formed
a corporation, we formed a very positive force for the oma he teaches what we don't teach. We teach what he doesn't teach us what he doesn't teach. And it's something that comes with it everybody benefits from and this isn't just the first and childhood there are other mergers as well. We're talking about other groups, other organizations. And I think that this is it bodes well for the future and hamdulillah it bodes well, that branch have dedicated a group of dedicated to us and scholars and activists and, you know, we teachers and teachers of Arabic natto and bananas line specialists in South Africa, I mean, hamdulillah Do you guys not see the complimentary nature of all
of your instructors. I'm not a specialist in some fields. I'm a specialist in others. So bridges, specialists and others to share what it is others are adding others with some of the fun and others the fact that we all come together. Well lucky, I wish I had this opportunity when I was 17 1819. And then I had gone to Medina, my level would have been something else when I went to Medina, and he's an Arabic teacher so he can relate to this. I didn't even know about it from a mushroom. I didn't know monsoon from our food from a zoom. Okay, I'm a student at Medina, I didn't even know the difference between number one so
I had no clue what the sciences were How I wish that I had this platform. So that if when I had gone abroad, Allah knows where I would have been now. And the goal is you guys build on the shoulders of other people like I built upon those who I studied with, right. That's the goal that we hope for every generation to come and to build upon what we have to offer and it makes my heart melt to see all of these instructors and duyst and activists all come together. And we can be totally Frank and say there are absolutely no politics that we have to hide. And I'll tell you how we work with many organizations are lots of politics with many organizations. You all know this with many messages,
many groups Alhamdulillah shefali, Chaka Burgess to start with some who started Norman scheffers men were actually genuinely friends. We actually call each other and we actually have a you know, good time when we get together. That's something very rare in an Islamic organization, much less 234 multiple Islamic organizations coming together and will like this is a blessing from Allah and I think that the future
is bright and I am very optimistic about the future.