Channel: Nouman Ali Khan
Salam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatu
al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen
wa Salatu was Salam O Allah seydel MBA evil Muslim father early he was happy he ministered Nebuchadnezzar he Loma de
la Medina Minh home woman and as you know
what I was hoping
whatever so be sober I mean you're a banana mean.
No Banana Banana mean as well Gina was already a Tina kurata Union maganda Lil mattina IBAMA,
I want to start by making a request in the spirit of the subject that we're dealing with. At the end of my speech, some of you might feel obligated, even out of a sense of what you've been doing already to applaud. I don't think I'll benefit much from your applaud even though I appreciate the gesture, but I think I'll appreciate more if you just make the offer me and my family. So that would be a favor that you would do for me and for all of the noble scholars that are here that have presented and if they've, if you've benefited from them, then absolutely make dawn for them. And they'll also make up for their families.
I have very little to add to what's already been said in regards to this awesome subject. But I do want to divide my conversation with you into two parts. The first of them is something about my personal life, something that has to do with that I want to share with you and it's not really as out of the spirit of boasting or exposing but really, I think it's something that many of you probably can relate to, and maybe find even encouragement in and then I want to share with you my favorite dog in the Quran in shallow Thailand. Those are the only two things I want to do with you guys today.
I was about almost 20 years of age and I absolutely head over heels fell in love.
I went into a Masjid in Milan.
And I heard a remarkable scholar explained the Quran I had not read the Koran except in translation before that day. And I heard him speak about the Koran in the form of almost a conversation.
And you know, the Quran is Allah azza wa jal speaking to us directly. And it felt like that for me for the first time.
And he was doing this every night of Ramadan for about four hours every night, to go through the entire course on in this fashion.
And I attended this entire series with him because I was hooked completely I was mesmerized by this book. I was completely overwhelmed that I didn't have any clue. No idea what this book was, that was always there. And I always thought, yeah, I've read something from it, or some translation or something. I have an idea what it says, I guess I know what it I know what it has to say.
But when I heard what it really had to say, for the first time, I felt like there's this person and there's this person, this this book that I love so much, and I have no relationship with it.
And of course, the barriers were many, including the knowledge of it. But of course, even the language, I had no idea what the Arabic language was not a clue.
The only thing I could do at that time, you know what it was, is to make Dora
so I just asked him something very simple. I didn't even know how to ask it in Arabic or anything. I didn't know any dogs by heart. So I just asked him, Oh, I love your book. I love your book.
And I'd love nothing more but to learn it and to teach it.
Just make it easy for me to learn it and make it easy for me to teach it. Because I love your book. That's all I asked. And I swear to you by Allah. I am a terrible student of anything.
Terrible. I mean, especially languages. I'm absolutely horrendous. I was not a good student in college. I used to hate studying the you know, if anybody if I ever had sleep problems, the easiest way to meet for me to catch some sleep was to open up a textbook. 10 seconds later, I'll have 1213 hours of solid sleep because nothing will knock me out like studying.
But this teacher who was presenting the Quran also happened to be teaching an Arabic class. And when I attended his class were like it was like not opening up. I couldn't stop studying. I couldn't stop I couldn't put the books down. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was doing like conjugations in my sleep. Going through grammar in my sleep. I was studying it into train. I became I was doing it at work at school all the time. I just became obsessed with it and will lie what people around me found so difficult, eliminated so easy for me and I knew something had just happened. Allah has given me a gift in response to my daughter. And will I tell you to this day, if I try to study
anything else, I have a hard time but when I study caught on I can spend hours
and hours and hours, and it's easy for me 100. That's a gift of a lot of me. But this is something that I personally experienced in terms of the power of da, just the power of da. So how am I don't mean to say this as a means of boasting. But look, I have 111, I've taught Arabic courses all over the country, maybe close to now 15,000 students, so Pamela, and not any of them have benefited anything, except from the gifts that Allah has given. And if they're able to continue that, and entire, that entire benefit starts from one.as, far as I'm concerned. So Pamela, so that was a little bit about my personal story. But what I want to really share with you is my favorite door in
the Quran. And I think it's a very relevant dog for pretty much all of us here in the audience. And to set the stage for this door. I'm sure some of you have heard me talk about this dog before, but I personally don't care. I'm going to repeat it because for the kid in the fact that they cannot remind reminder has benefit. So I hope to benefit myself in all of you with this reminder.
There's a powerful expression in the Koran, it's captured in two words. Those two words are a whole lot of arguing the coolness of the eyes. A simple translation will yield coolness of the eyes. And it's mentioned in a number of occasions. It's also found in a Hadith of the messenger sallallahu wasallam. Okay.
Before I tell you how it's used in sacred texts, I want to tell you how the ancient Arabs used to use this figure of speech, this expression, it's really a figure of speech, so we can't really understand it literally, it means something more.
In the Arab idiom, there were two expressions without getting too technical with you guys. There's the eyes becoming cool and the eyes becoming warm. That's the first thing I'd like you to know. The Arabs are two figures of speech, the eyes becoming cool and the eyes becoming warm.
When somebody is shedding tears of sorrow, they're suffering the worst kind of fate. They are in deep depression and sadness and calamity than when you would look at them the Arab would say at least his eyes and become warm. One of the worst curses you can curse upon someone in the Arabic language in ancient Arabic, Allah who I know May Allah make his eyes warm means May he suffer the worst kinds of sorrows in his life. The exact opposite is what
the eyes becoming cool for your sorrows, for your sadness for your pains to be removed completely, and for you to feel peace and tranquility and joy like nothing else. And I'll give you I'll give you a simple example of coolness and warmth of the eyes before I continue. Imagine you're at the airport right? And there are two pairs a pair of a mother and a son and another mother and another son, but this mother is saying farewell to her son he's flying off somewhere and the other mother is greeting her son who flew in from somewhere and both of the mothers are crying
but one of them their eyes is cool and the others the eyes are warm one is shedding tears of joy she sees her son after many years she's crying too but these are eyes becoming cool the others letting go of her son These are what the eyes becoming warm you understand the difference right now another you know a few pieces of context before I go further the poet in Arabia says my the the eyes of my tribe will remain warm and he's actually an assassin also Yeah, poets or assassins is kind of an Arab thing I guess but so he's waiting on the sand dune waiting to kill the tribe leader that has offended his tribe and he makes poetry in the meantime, I guess he's got a lot of time so he says
the the my tribes eyes will remain warm until my dagger is warm isn't warm with his blood. In other words, when when I kill this guy, then my my tribes eyes will become cool. The rage, the frustration, the humiliation they feel will only disappear upon this guy's death. That's what I'm here to do to cool the eyes of my tribe You understand? So it's a means of relieving frustration and anger and ill feelings. That's how the in which context it's used. But then there's a final context that I want to share with you in Arabic literature with this expression. This song is very beautiful, actually. The Arab used to travel in the desert
and there's a sandstorm and in a sandstorm the Arab which you know, wrap his face up because obviously your face is being pounded with sand. Now the camel on which he's writing a lot created the camel in a magnificent fashion. The eyelids of the camel actually trap sand and drop them it doesn't even have to blink. It's got a screen in front of his eyes that capture sand and drops it it's we don't have that, you know, screen system in our eyes. But the camel does. But now the writer he can't afford to cover his eyes Kenny.
Because if he covers his eyes, what's the problem? He doesn't know where he's going. So he has to keep his eyes exposed. And so finally he finds a cave. He finds some refuge and he says interestingly, my eyes have finally become what? Cool. In other words in literature we find the precedent of the eyes becoming cool liquid
with finding refuge from a storm, finding refuge from a storm. Now I've set the stage for you for what this expression stands for, but I still haven't told you my favorite dog though I recited it in the beginning. This is at the conclusion of the 25th surah of the Quran. Allah azza wa jal says robina he tells us to say well Athena Kowloon, those who say robina hublin I mean as well Gina was already Yeah, Tina.
our master Our Lord, gift us grant us you know in Quran we find attina give us the not to give a grand gift, but have gift us an unexpected gift. A beautiful gift how Glenna, this is a gift you're asking a lot of give you and Lana is macadam, this this prepositional phrase is brought earlier, especially for us. We're asking for a special favor to Allah. And what is this favorite that we're asking God, Allah azza wa jal grants us from our spouses, and not just our children, which is very, very Athena.
Athena future generations of us. In other words, you're not even asking for your immediate children, but your lineage from you know, for generations to come, grant us from all of them, coolness of eyes, make our eyes cool, by means of our by means of our spouses, and by means of our children. And I say this is my favorite drop for a reason when I'm married, and I do have children in the spouse.
But to all of us, all of us have to appreciate the power of this law. Because of the crisis of the world today.
The world's fundamental institution of family is under attack.
Most of the people here even Muslims are not immune from this problem. In many of our homes, the storm that I said, when you find coolness of the eyes, you find refuge from the storm, the storm is not outside the house, the storm is inside the house. And you have to get away from home to get away from the yelling and the screaming and the name calling and the insults and the depression, and the sadness and the friction between husband and wife and parent and children. Our homes are broken. Brother is not talking to Brother, parents are not talking to children. How many of you, I can bet you I can I can almost guarantee you all of the speakers that have come to this conference, some
mothers, some father, some husbands, some wife has come up to them and said, I've got this problem. I can't talk to my kid, he yells at me, we can't talk and he's doing these things. I don't know how to stop him. My husband, my wife, this My husband is to Panama. This is a crisis inside the home. And what better daughter to ask the exact opposite. You know, the family has become a place of sorrow, of depression, of sadness, of anger of rage. People feel like they want to escape it. And here Allah tells us to ask so perfectly, so eloquently, that the home should become the place of refuge. It's like the outside world is a storm and you suffer on the outside in your refuge. Your
safe haven is those doors in your home is your spouse's your children. When you see them, your worries disappear. But for most of us when you see them, your worries begin.
It's the exact opposite. But I want to give you a further appreciation of justice remarkable, beautiful phrase, and how it's used in the Quran. Just I want to explain this feeling to you that Allah wants us to have with our families, this some some more elaboration of those feelings. You know, some of the most the strongest emotion that exists in it exists in human existence. The strongest emotion I can think of is the emotion a mother feels for her child. It is the strongest bond. Many of you in the audience are married. And when you're first married, you're obsessed with the husband. You're obsessed with the wife. You're so awesome. No, you're awesome.
How perfect ally makes two pairs. I can't believe you're my husband. I can't believe they're like, oh, weird in the beginning. Yeah. People look at you funny. You know, guys got a goofy smile on his face all the time. You know, the husband's name is mentioned and she gets shy. You know?
10 years go by.
The husband's name is mentioned.
Right. But anyway, before that happens
before that, when you have your first child,
the husbands will realize this already. Okay. All right. The husbands will realize this. You're talking to your wife about something the baby's in the other room.
You don't even the husband doesn't even even have the ears for this one. The baby just does a little and that's it. That's all it does. And guess what happens to the mother. That conversation is over. He was in the middle of telling her how his day went and it was really important meeting and what would happen
sense goes berserk, and you go to the other room, and you pick up the jet, nothing comes between
mother and child, nothing, nothing comes between them. It is a strongest bond. Now I'm talking to the mothers in the audience for a second.
Can you imagine? The state of mooses mother's heart?
She puts her baby in the water.
You can even leave your child outside in the hall, you start calling your husband. Where is he? Where is he? Where's he? Have you seen him? Have you seen him? Where's yet? You can't stop. You're 30 minutes late picking your child up from school? What happens to you? You know, I know because I've been late picking up my kids from school before. So I know what my wife goes through. You didn't make it to the airport in time. Right? You haven't seen your kids? You know, even mothers, they're in the home and they had they can't see the child. Where'd you go?
Where are you? I'm in the classroom. Mom, relax. I'm here. But there's this desperate. Can you imagine her feeling? She's putting her child in what is apparently certain depths? Because what's behind is even more graphic. So she's in this desperate situation? Does she know what happened to the child?
She doesn't Can you imagine not knowing what's happening to your child after their you know that they're in a dangerous situation? Can you even imagine? Subhan Allah. And on the other hand, I want to give you two women's scenarios. On the other hand, and I promise I'll try to finish within five minutes. The there's another woman who's in a storm in the same story. She's married to a really bad guy. What's his name? Well, yeah.
And you know, sometimes women are in a in a difficult domestic situation. And usually in a society like ours, you can call the domestic hotline, you can call the cops if there's abuse, whatever. Now we don't know if there's physical abuse, but the Koran certainly indicates psychological abuse. So much so that she has to ask for rescue. Right? She's in this terrible marriage, and she can't even call the cops. Well, why not? Because he owns the cops. She can't complain to the government because he is the government. She's got nowhere to turn. So the only place she can turn his room, along, she's in the middle of the storm and she can't find a refuge. But when this baby washes up, you know
what she says, Now think about this. She picks up the child and she says to Eileen Lee, he'll be the coolness of my eye for me. He will be my refuge from the storm. He will be my only source of joy because I'm in the middle of sadness. She's with this child, this mother, this woman, she this childless woman is with this child now and all of a sudden all her problems disappear. That's her first reaction to this child. So Pamela, and it on a separate note, she said Lee Wallach, and I won't discuss with you but she separated herself from Fidel and even in that he will be the coolest of my iPhone for me and even for you. Even different, but she didn't say for us because she doesn't
even associate herself with him soprano level the Aloha line. Hmm. Now one more thing. One last thing, just about this coolness of the eyes. And why this is so beautiful and powerful and eloquent. You know, when a mother has lost her child, which in this case if she has, and she is reunited with her child? Can you imagine the feeling of a mother whose child was lost? And then she was reunited with it? Can you imagine the tears of happiness? Can you imagine that emotion? Now understand how Allah describes that emotion? Allah tells his favorite tool Musa alayhis salaam, he says follow generika illa omic kitakata I knew how Allah doesn't. So we returned you to your mother. So her eyes
could become cool. So her eyes would Ally's describing the most amazing joy. The most amazing relief, the most indescribable feeling in the heart of a mother and what expression does he use the coolness of the eyes to depict that powerfully. And so we ask Allah give us from our spouses and our children, coolness advice. That's what we asked a lot. When somebody said I want to get married, go further, not just get married, I want to get married to a spouse that will cool my eyes, that I'll be the coolness of their eyes and there'll be the coolness of mine. And Allah azza wa jal took the dog further, and then we understand why talk about future generations. And I'll conclude with this,
which I'm not done with Athena imama. And make us leaders over those who are cautious, conscious, fearful, pious, righteous, those who are fearful before Allah and you know, what that makes you realize, it makes you realize your relationships right now aren't just about you. You have you have you're setting a precedent in your family for generations to come. So when you are not acting as good husbands and good wives and good parents and good children, what are your future generations going to be doing and who's going to be answerable for that negative trend that was started by you? Who's going to be answerable for that? So it's an intelligent draw that we should find coolness of
the eyes not only in our immediate family, but the future generations should be people that are righteous too, because when we're raised on judgment day, we are a mom over the entire
Hire family, whether they were messed up or not. So, we better ask for the kinds of people if they're underneath us, not those who are dragging us down on judgment day, but those who are elevating us and be Begala that he gives all of us those kinds of families. So the biggest favor you can do to me and and the scholars here because none of us are immune from this. This is something you and I, everyone every Muslim is and this is even something that non Muslims need today. They have no peace in their families. So I beg all of you sincerely that we all make this sincere drop to Allah Yes, I know times of zero minutes one zero minutes really nice. Well done. I have learned I
mean, as well Gina was already Yeah, Tina kurata Union maganda mattina Mama, I sincerely pray that Allah azza wa jal gives all of us and makes from our spouses and our children, those that are the coolness of our eyes, and that he makes us an Amana leader over those that are pious and righteous. May Allah forgive all of our shortcomings accept all of our daughter and make the means of our forgiveness easy upon us. But this is once again at the end of sort of on Mark Aloha. Welcome so called unpacking when a family What was it like you know, Santa Monica?