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Life with Children #10 Mothers
Channel: Musleh Khan
Series: Musleh Khan - Life with Children
File Size: 20.15MB
Episode Transcript ©
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So don't want to equal Marilla to Lahore barakatu Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim, Al hamdu Lillah wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah. Why the early he was having a woman with a barbarian. First and foremost, thank you all for your kind prayers. And Dora's yesterday, I just took a break. I'm one of those, I guess you could say one of those kind of people that when I get a headache, my entire day shuts down. And I literally have to lay down rest, do everything that I can do, just to just to feel normal again. So that's what yesterday was all about. And I'm not sure why that happened. But Allah knows best left hamdulillah feeling much, much better. So let's get right into this. So this is part
10 of our installment on life with children. And today, it's all about mom.
And in our religion, moms have their place as one of the most honorable people in the history of mankind. Our messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam also told us that,
that mothers, they get three times more attention, love, protection, care, all of the rights that fathers have, they have it more. And it's something that Allah subhanaw taala raised their honor and their status, human beings, we are attached to mothers in a different way than we are to fathers. And it doesn't mean that you know, fathers are not important, it just means that there's a deeper feeling of connection and a relationship with mothers, that no human being on the planet could ever have with anybody else. You know, and and that's just really all from Allah subhanho wa Taala. I mean, we could have had those same feelings for other people and other individuals. And then the
reality is that even people that are adopted, there's always that connection to who the biological mom is, and had they ever met them. And even if they didn't meet them, like their heart is always somehow connected and intertwined by that biological birth mother. And it's again, it's just something that the way Allah subhanaw taala, created all of us. And what's interesting is that, when we're looking for unique parenting styles and techniques from parents and from from mothers versus fathers, you'll notice that with mothers in particular, it's very different, even in the poor end, different in the sense that No, they don't just have different duties, or they do things
differently. It's the connection that they have with their kids. So I'll give you an example. In so little of Allah subhanho wa Taala tells us about when the woman is pregnant, and she notices that her stomach is starting to grow and the baby is growing and it's becoming heavier, she's becoming heavier as well. And the Koran mentions philomath planet whenever it becomes heavier referring to the stomach the womb. So Fela mathcad darle la hora Bahama let in 10 or solidly Helena coonan Amina, shake it in. So what ends up happening is that as she notices that this baby, it's as real as it gets. It's growing, she's getting heavier, it's going to happen herself and her husband. Start
praying to Allah, that I will law Rob Bethel man so it's referring to referring back to jewel, which means it's the parents now of this kid, they start making dua to Allah. So here's the first, I guess you could say point that we want to extract when we're talking about moms, moms, all the moms that are listening to this. Your Dora for your children is special.
Do is from parents in general is special. But with mothers in particular, it's different. And it goes back to the same verse in sorbitan out off fella math, call it Allah singles out her struggle and her pain. Allah singles out her struggle to you know, eventually carrying this child and birthing this child. So all the intention was shifted and focused on her and from the signs that this womb is starting to develop and grow. That's when the father now steps in with the A Darrell will learn how to bevel man. So in other words, I mean she's the leader when it comes to just the overall dynamics of the family and the relationship and that connection. Because of her. It's
stimulated now that the Father is going to join in and they both ask Allah let in a 10 Asante, Helena coonan Amina shakin in if you give us a righteous child, we're going to be people that are grateful gratitude, and we've talked a lot about that in our previous episodes. But then
As things continue to unfold, you notice that there's a shift in terms of that connection. Because in this day and age now, fathers are also becoming more connected with their kids. And it's something that they have to learn. This is the second point when it comes to that love and that connection of mercy. For the child, it's very natural for mothers. And again, perhaps maybe one wisdom behind that is the fact that they carry and they birth this child. And Allah subhanaw taala, just instills that natural love and connection, she starts to fall in love with the child before the child's even born. And the father is happy and joyous and joyful as well. And he falls in love with
the child too. But it's different. And you know this because all you have to do is just talk to parents just talk to like a first time parent, and they'll tell you, like, even after the child is born, the father is still like men, I'm a father now, wow, okay, I gotta go do this, I got to do that. I got to develop this connection, I got to be able to, you know, show this child that I'm here for this child, hey, I'm gonna love this child, protect him and protect mom as well. And now we're a family, with the mother already graduated all of that the day she heard that she was pregnant. She already everything's on autopilot. Timing, okay, I got to make sure that we adjust the rooms, I got
to figure out how to sleep, I got to figure out what I'm going to eat. Everything is automatic. So for men in general, and there are articles written about this, it's not just coming out of left field, like they study the whole psychology.
makeup of first time parents. And for fathers, it's, uh, you know, we have to train ourselves to learn that connection, is why a lot of young parents as well, especially like the fathers, to three months after they had their first child, they're just like, man, I just, I can't believe it. I'm a father. But as for the mother, she's in autopilot from day one. And so the whole point of all of this is to show you that there's a connection there, that's special, and it's different. And so this is why in even Islam, there's an additional emphasis that mothers, to serve them and to love them, and to protect them is more so in its emphasize than it is for the fathers. And again, you know, a
famous speaker once said, it's like saying that the mother gets the gold medal, and the father gets the silver and the bronze. So think of it that way, right? They're all still qualified, they all still win. But the levels are a little bit different. So now with that being said, Why am I starting it this way, when we're talking about life with children? Well, for the kids that are listening to this now and the students that are listening to this, your mom in particular, you owe her your entire life, you owe her your life, in service, and in respect. So that's what we mean from a spiritual angle, to respect and to love her simply Why? Because she gave birth to you, your father
that connection in that respect. I'm going to elaborate further when we get to the section of sort of uses certain things that I want to extract from that sort of but right now, let's now look at exactly where this connection is coming from. Let's turn our attention to sort of costs us so total costs us is the 28th surah of the Quran, the sorts of stories, and it actually starts off with the story of Musa alayhis salaam. This is actually the most detailed account of the life of Masada. He said I'm found in Sorrento palaces, although his story is spread out in several different areas of the poor n Suunto cluses harbors, and it holds the most detailed account of his life and it also has
the most of his story, but scattered throughout the poor and found in this chapter sort of impulses. Now I want you to listen to how it starts. The mother is ordered by Allah so musala he said I'm his mother is told while hayner Isla ami Moosa and aadl Deering, so we inspired the mother of Noosa that in order for her to to basically be tested to give this child up a leg is gonna order now order her now to just give up something and sacrifice for Allah. So what what is the login to tell her to do that either 50 IRA. So in other words, her job is to take care of her son Mousavi. So, what if for any moment, she feels like she can she was poor? She didn't have the means to she couldn't take care
of him. So Allah then inspires her that you the 50 if you're afraid he he phillium was too happy what a Pakistani so take him put him inside of a river and let him go and listen to what Allah says this is the mother Okay. Well, to huffy what attack is any Don't be afraid. Don't be sad. Now, mother
There's out there, tell me, if you're at a playground and you lose sight of your kid for three seconds, what do you do? It's it's nerve racking. Just few seconds, you don't see them, you start looking around. That's what mothers and parents in general, that's what we do. You know, we make sure that we're always there to protect our kids, especially when they're young and vulnerable like that.
This mother lusardi son's mom is told, not only just leave your child, and this is not no playground anymore, but put your child prepared that child and put the child into a river and just let it float away. You know, just imagining this stuff makes me feel very nervous and very scared. Just Just to, if I was like, for me, if if this was turned the other way around, and the father was told to allow the child to go into the river, I don't know. It is it's unimaginable how difficult and no wonder, Allah starts to give some reassurance and say, well, to half the while attacks and you don't be afraid, don't be sad. Now, here's the thing. Why not to half a one attack has no is found quite a
few places in the poor end. Every time a love wishes to give reassurance in one in a very difficult test that's at a personal level. So let me give you another example. The mother has to give up her child that's personal. And that's the worst test Allah says, Don't be sad. Don't be afraid. Don't be sad. In another sort of, sort of facilite Allah subhanaw taala says at the time of death, the angels will be sent to you and will army of them. And what are they going to say? Well, that led to half well attack is no Don't be afraid. Don't be sad. Because death is just us alone. It's just us. We know we're going to go meet Allah. So there's, that's a personal test again, and such as the whole
scenario throughout the entire port, and when Abu Bakar of the loved one and the Prophet alayhi salatu wa sallam, they were stuck in the cave. He was scared double bucha Allah reveals to the messenger early so that was set in less than in the Lucha Mariner tells the process to tell Abu Bakar Don't be sad, Allah is with us see the same word. And again, they're both being persecuted. There's this like internal sense of fear that they have that even if they try to act brave on the outside, it's very intimate, it's personal. They're feeling it on the inside. Every time. A lot talks to us about a test that's really personal. It's not at a community scale or a global scale.
A lot always follows it up with Don't be afraid. Don't be sad.
So the new parents, moms, dads, all of you, especially having that child for the first time or the second or the fourth child and you're wondering, gosh, I don't know how I'm going to make ends meet How do I take care of four children with one job? What is the lesson what and Cliff Delilah Sophia you're the newcomer love them infinitely and sort of tober if you ever afraid of being poor like your I ILA is not poor as in you're going to be on the street, meaning I let you you wouldn't have enough to sustain a family unless as long as you keep your faith and let hoffy whether that has any and don't be scared, don't be afraid as long as you do that. Then inshallah I will make you rich for
sofa you'll honeycomb a law firm in fugly alone will make you rich from his riches from his bounties. So musataha salaam has to give up his child, mozzarella, his salaams mum has to give him up. So she does it. Look what Allah does. Next in rod do who la khwaja Illumina more selling, don't worry, we're going to return him back to you. And I'm returning back to he's going to be from amongst the messengers. So now she's getting all of this inspiration. The versus them continue, I want to just jump to what happened to her reaction, we'll also have full ad or only moussaieff feriha. The heart of the mum of musala, a salon became empty, fairly empty. A failure is like a
vessel that should have water. But there isn't a single drop that's called fatty for ad is another name for heart in the Quran.
And just the fact that Allah uses this particular word for heart to describe how she feels tells you that there's something very special between mum and her children. Fatiha is not just heart. Fatima is a heart that is yearning and crying and weeping. It's overwhelmed with emotion that's fattier, that's a full ad. So four ad is the kind of heart that's overwhelmed with emotion. And as a result, the tears start to flow. So the emotional outburst of tears. That's, that comes from the heart. That's that's the type of heart in the end that is called full ad and full ad is used in different places in the court. And interestingly enough, it's used very commonly to describe this whole ordeal
The mother of musante seven her son. So what happened to her heart will also have four adult only Mussa family her. Her heart was so filled with emotions, it became empty. She became she felt empty. She felt like there was no purpose on this planet anymore. Just because she lost her son. She was told to give up her son. And here's the thing. She was told by a lot to do this. I presupposed to just have trusted Alola told you just and he even promised he'll return him and he'll return him better than what he was before. So don't worry. What this teaches us is sure, from a spiritual sense, we trust Allah. But the human in all of us, is still emotional. It's still difficult. And
that's the separation, that parents you must have, as a unit as a as a family that you separate and don't cloud emotions, with with just the dean, don't cloud it up. Don't cover it up and be like, you have to be patient. You got to be like the mother of musante Center, you have to pray and make Dora you see all of those things are healing tools. But at the end of the day, as human beings just like the messenger, they slept with Sam and everybody else that we know, humans cry, and humans feel sad. And there is no exception to the mother of one of the greatest prophets to ever touch to grab the mother from Socrates. And finally, brothers and sisters, particularly for the for the mothers, take
a look what happens next. This is just remarkable to me. We'll call it Tim rod. So I'm just backing up now to the previous verse. We'll call it tomorrow to fit around hora taurine, Lee wellock lead up to total war as a foreigner owner tells me that whether done will homeland mushroom. So the mother of excuse me the we'll call it an impromptu the woman of fit around meaning the woman of fit our own meaning her his wife. So fit arounds wife said kotora to it any leeway, like oh how beautiful our eyes have become an YouTube with our own. Your eyes have become beautiful when we watch this beautiful child. So what happened? Here is the tyrant, the biggest tyrant on the planet, sees a
child Mousavi slim, and his eyes start to twinkle in his eyes, it becomes pleased with what he sees. This is the man who's killing babies and children. He's killing babies children is killing women. And he now falls in love with this kid that they just found just floating up to the Nile and right up to his palace. And the mother says let's talk to a little wiser Indian foreigner Don't hurt him or don't kill him. He might be of benefit to us, or will adopt him welcome language. And Allah says that as they're thinking about what they're going to do with this kid, there's no remorse. There's no feelings. In other words, they're not saying to themselves, you know, where did this kid come
from? We should probably do something. Let's try to send out a notice or campaign missing child. No. They just thought for themselves. It was about them and them alone and they took the child in and they raised the child. Ulla has his plans though. So here's the thing that I'm going to conclude with brothers and sisters. There's that verse sound familiar? So that verse that I just read to you is verse number nine in suta. Tell us Does that sound familiar? Did you hear a su a verse like that in another part of the soda? Let me show you what that part is. So let's go to sulit Yousef and listen to this.
Here's where Allah subhanho wa Taala says, look,
we'll call it this star Oh, Mr. Ali Marathi he accademy mouthwash. Listen to us as a foreigner, I will tell you that who went down? And then he pauses, okay, the only camera can only use. They said the exact same thing. When slaves when people came to purchase Yusuf Alayhi Salaam as a slave, there was a minister of finance. And his wife, who saw use of it said they fell in love with him. They fell in love with this beauty.
What did they say? They said, oh, we're gonna adopt him. I said, Fine. I own a toughy that, well, perhaps he'll benefit us or we'll just adopt him as one of our one of our kids. Perhaps they couldn't have children. It's the exact same sentence that fit our own. And his wife said when they saw musar they said What does this teach you? You have one of the worst individuals that are out. But then you have the minister of finance for genuinely he and his wife who ended up at the end you know genuinely being good people. And but their, their reaction to a beautiful child is exactly the same.
They wanted to know how, okay, if we adopt this child, how could our household benefit from the presence of this child? They thought the same way. And what that tells you is that the whole thought process and approach to parenting with has with the father and the mother. It has to be synchronized to an extent. Right? They're always have to try to be on the same page. And we alluded to this when we introduced this video yesterday, or excuse me the day before. So they have to be some sense of consistency. You both have to be on the same page can't have one parent here. And another one here. One says yes, the other one says nose and nose because why, at the end of the day, when this kid
grows up now and starts to understand and doesn't know who to follow, guess what they end up doing. Following themself.
My parents can't make up their mind. So I'll just do what I want. That's a tragedy.
So this is where I'm going to pause. I'm going to leave you with this just to think about it to reflect this is only the beginning. There is lots to talk about with respect to how mothers raise and connect with their kids and young adults in the house. So I will continue with this subject for the next few episodes because they let eterna. Once again, just like hello Heiner for all of you tuning in and watching while they can listen, I'm working to lie to everybody who sends their setups and please like I said, if you're not doing this already, gather the family and watch this as a family. And if you have any questions, any concerns, whether it's you The parents or your your
family, your kids and so on, just type it in the comment field inshallah and I'll get to it Okay. Hello, hi to everybody. You take care and we'll continue with our next installment tomorrow beads nilla. Santa Monica Monica to low water cut.