Ramadan 2022 – The Religion of Your Father #12

Nouman Ali Khan


Channel: Nouman Ali Khan


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The message driving Islam is that people should not be punished by the boss, but rather by themselves. The message is that people should not be punished by the boss, but rather by themselves. The use of "opportunities" in Arabic language is discussed, as it can be used to express frustration or fear. The transcript describes a situation where a father is threatened for a reason, but the father is not letting go of his desire to slap his son. The segment also touches on the idea of "ma'am" and "monster" being used in English, and how they are used in Arabic. The speaker discusses upcoming surgery for a patient named praising the boss for his actions and not wanting to do something, and the use of "ma'am" and "monster" in English is discussed. The transcript describes a situation where a father is threatened for a reason, but the father is not letting go of his desire to slap his son. The segment also touches on the

Transcript ©

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assure you find out what dream

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ability in the hall for a second either boom may not work Manufaktur guna de shaytani were the

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color are all reborn and early Hattie

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Ibrahim muda in Lambton, Tahi Tehila abdomen neck

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in Lambton, Tehila juman Kiowa jewel knee melee

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or la sera Munna Allah in combs esto fue la carob the now who can I be if he

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does you know more method on I mean, do you wanna be I

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wanna be

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your bishop he

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obviously somebody's silly and we looked at him in the second year of college and hamdulillah salatu salam ala Rasulillah Le he also have huge money and once again, everyone send money to white Allah or Ricardo. So we're going to continue talking about the exchange between Ibrahim alayhis salam and his father as recorded in sort of medium. And the last time we saw that Ibrahim alayhis salam has escalated the issue with his dad not one statement not true statement he keeps on going first he says Why do you worship something that can't hear can't benefit can't see then he adds I have knowledge that you don't have knowledge has come to me that you don't have you need to be following

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me I'll guide you to a straightway then now then he added a third yeah but Allah tabula shaytaan inertia Atlanta Khalil in Canada manual so you don't worship the devil. The devil is has always been in disobedience to his to his to our to our ramen. Now we're going to keep going. He's going to add more. He's not done. And he says Alehissalaam Yeah, but the terrible. ISIS Yeah, but he needs a half. And you must occur at that moment of man. My father, my beloved father died. I love you. I am afraid that punishment from your master is going to get a hold of you or it's going to touch you. And yeah, must second one minute ramen first Hakuna Lee shaytani Walia, then you will be a friend to

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the devil. Now this could be mean meaning a couple of things, but we'll highlight at least one of those meanings inshallah. So first of all, he now expresses that he's not having this argument with him out of rage or out of anger towards his father, he's actually really scared for his dad. And when you're scared for someone, then that is an expression of powerful expression of love. And we have to it's a difficult position that Allah has, uh, one of the difficult tests that Allah has created for prophets throughout history is that they had to,

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they had to speak to their family members. And they had to give them the direct message of Islam. And they did this because they don't want their family members to be destroyed. They love their family, but their family would respond with hostility. Right? So this was actually a very difficult challenge that Allah had put the messengers through. So you know, sometimes people take shahada and their family, their mom doesn't become Muslim dad doesn't became Muslim, etc. I was just with the moms Rajaraja, last couple of weeks ago before Ramadan started. And he was so happy because his mother just took shahada a week ago, before I before I met him, and hamdulillah like he's, he's been

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giving that what Islam his entire life, his entire life. And his mother, just just a week ago, she takes shahada and he told us that when he was sitting down so Hala, you know, I believe he she said it was she was 90 something when she takes her Shahada. So I can only imagine the pain that he goes through for those years, when he's wishing that his you know, because his mother is aging. And as she's aging, she's getting closer and closer to meeting with Allah and that, that anxiety that she's not going to be on the right side of things come judgment day is terrifying. You can exponentially multiply that with people that are trying to give this message to their family member and they don't

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want to hear it. They don't want anything to do with it. And they you know, and those are prophets. Because it's not only that if you don't listen to a prophet, that you know, you have your your, you're answerable to Allah, but you're also committing the crime of not listening to a prophet.

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Right, which is a bigger crime that if I was giving somebody that when they didn't listen to me, it's not a big deal, because it's just me. But on judgement day if some if Allah says the messenger came to you

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Ibrahim Ali Salam tried to give you Who better than and you still didn't listen. So they're they have this unusual amount of pressure on them anxiety on them that on the one hand they are so terribly worried about their family, but they still have to do what Allah has commanded them to do to deliver that message right? Now, we also have to understand what Ibraheem Alehissalaam does to balance that because these emotions are very strong. And these emotions need to be understood because they're a big part of Muslim life. What happens in many families, for example, is that a woman who's married lived her life as a Muslim, but kind of a Muslim by name, right. And later on in

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her years, she discovers maybe I should take my religion more seriously. So she starts learning a little bit more, she starts praying five times, she realized that some of the practices, some of the social gatherings weren't okay. Some of her her habits weren't okay. So she makes Toba from those things, but she Okay, she's she's going through a change. But that doesn't mean her family's going through a change, right? Her husband hasn't changed, maybe the husband still has a drinking problem. Maybe the husband still has a gambling thing. It was no big deal. They used to go to the casinos together. But now she's made over. And now he still wants to go where He wants to be. They want to

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go to Las Vegas or whatever, you know. And then her her children. They never raised them with too much concern for Islam. Or they took them to Joomla once in a while, or maybe every week, or they brought them to the prayer. But now that she's woken up religiously, she wants to she realizes that she was destroying herself and she saved herself. Now she really wants to save her kids, and she wants to save her husband. So she starts going Ibrahim alayhi salam on her husband every day. Right, and she starts dropping the Ibrahim rallies, you know, you might have to do malaria spiral, where you will sit all over the anchor, she ladapo The shaytaan. Like, don't worship the devil you're

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gonna burn in hell is look, I'm afraid Allah will punish you, etc, etc. Right? So we, what we gather from that is the person who's doing that is doing what Ibrahim alayhi salam would have done, but that's not entirely true.

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I want you to understand that's not entirely true. Ibrahim alayhi salam realizes the truth about his deen and he has more gentle ways of teaching and giving the message to you know, his family and actually what the Quran is recording is the ultimate escalation. There's not It's not recording the first exchange, like the moment Ibrahim alayhi salam found out that there's or realize that he shouldn't be giving Dawa to his father, the first thing he did was let Abu the shaitan

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like, that's not how this works. But what the Quran records is actually the kind of final episode of this exchange, how do we know it's the final episode because after this episode, he gets kicked out of the house. That's, that's actually towards the tail end. So the profits made that were to their loved ones, but they made that work in a very loving, gentle, you know, progressive kind of way.

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And Rasul Allah sorry, salam, if you look at the incidence of people that came in, came into contact with them and wanted to preach to them, right. It's actually a very, very slow, progressive kind of messaging. And there are people that come to him and he's they're coming, accepting Islam just by his behavior, he's not even pushing the message on them just by the behavior just by some some gentle words, some subtle words, etc. And then Allah explains his methodology, the way that you deliver Islam to someone, the methodology is explained, for example, in salt and fat at the end by by way of an analogy, where Allah compares those who Allah say salaam to a farmer. Well, that's

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growing crop. Right? So his people are like crop. And the thing with crop is it doesn't turn into to tall, harvest overnight, you have to water it, you have to nurture it. Some, some plants are more delicate than others, they need more care, you have to remove weeds from them. There's this gentle process of the therapy of the sahaba. And you can even consider some people some seeds never grow. Some seeds just don't grow just like some of the people of Qureshi never accepted Islam, that that can happen. But that doesn't mean the farmer kicked him out. He's still watering them the same way you understand like, That's it, there's a beauty in the way that the exchange happened. But that

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doesn't mean that the pain isn't there. So there's there has to be a balance between the pain we feel for the you know, for the lack of guidance of a loved one, right? And the our desire to turn them overnight, we kind of forget that. We didn't change overnight. Like if you went through a change, there were lots of years where if somebody tried to give you a message, you would have been agitated, right. And so Ibrahim Ali salaam now says to his father, this is again, we're talking about the height of escalation. And he says I'm afraid that man the most loving the most caring.

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I'm afraid that some punishment will come touch you from him.

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Just, you know, seems like opposite terms, how can punishment touch you from Iraq man. And I'll acknowledge that there's a new emerging field and in the area of Quranic studies where they're talking about the etymology, or the origin, or the construct the origin of Arabic words that have to do with pre Arabic languages, right, so they actually interpret Rockman differently from the Arabic language, I give that some value, but I don't get can override the Arabic meanings. So for example, they'll say Rockman is actually already found in Hebrew Rockman. Right is one of the names of Allah in the Hebrew literature and in Jewish literature. And there, it refers to Allah, the Almighty, the

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one who has authority, it has nothing to do with Rama, right? So and they say, Well, look at look at the places in the Quran, where ramen is used, it's a place where Allah has authority, like here, he has the authority to punish, right, so it must mean that that's the meaning of Rockman. That's being highlighted here. I would argue maybe that's the dimension of it that that for those who had that background, it resonated with them. But the Quran came with the sun and r&b and Moby when it came to these people. They weren't thinking about the original etymology of that word. When they were processing the meaning of a word, they were looking at the Arabic meaning of the word, and that has

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to do with the Rama and loving care. So that reconciliation is something Allah wants us to have. The problem becomes, we look at a passage we say, Okay, this is a this is an ayah, about punishment. How can a man be mentioned in an ayah? About punishment? That must mean we should reinterpret Armand to mean something else? No, sometimes Allah puts opposite things together. And that's Allah demanding from me and you to contemplate how can that be? Why would Allah do that? Why would Allah put two opposite things together, these are actually opportunities for the bar. So one of the things we learned from this ayah, for example, is just because Allah is loving, just because Allah is caring,

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doesn't give anybody free license, or you know, a free ticket away from Allah as punishment.

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And he could still be loving and caring and still punish. It doesn't negate it for human beings, either they're loving and caring, or they are punishing, they can't be both at the same time. But Allah can be our man and as they come at the same time, and even as the beauty of this, these words from Ibrahim alayhi salam is that he's telling his father you're gonna get punished by Allah. But when he says you're gonna get, I'm afraid Allah will punish you. But he still wants to talk about Allah in the most loving ways, even when he's talking about Allah punishing.

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So he from his point of view, even still calls him what a rock man like he can't that's not something he ever lets go of. Now think about that for a moment. Ibrahim Ali salaam, his relationship with Allah is such, the way he's discovered Allah the love he has for Allah is such that even when he talks about Allah punishing, he doesn't erase from his thought process, how much Allah loves and cares. Like that's still ever present in his mind. You know, today a lot of people have this crisis. How can Allah talk about punishment so much? Allah? What do you mean Allah loves Allah cares Allah is Allah Rahim. Look at all these ayat of adab right and have this crisis about

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you know, is the god of the Quran is the God mentioned in the Quran really merciful or not? is easy, vengeful god. And again, one of the one of the beautiful gifts Ibraheem Alehissalaam has given us just in passing is as he's talking to his father about the fear that Allah will punish his father he's still referred to the man in the most loving way. So Ibrahim Ali Salaam in this ayah has shown love to to he showed love to his father and yeah, a birdie and he showed love to Allah with Iraq man, so beautiful. And he has to balance both of them.

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And he wants to he'll never just please Allah and he doesn't want to make his father You know, you know, face punishment either. So he says, I'm really afraid that you're going to be you know, you're going to be punished or punishment will touch you from a rock man and even an yamasa addabbo, may not rock man, the masses. Another interesting word in this ayah. Must is used in the in the dictionary sense of the Arabic language of Balu. Dora chattel is Saba, like the least amount of contact between two things is called mass.

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So there's, there's Lomasa, there's muscle, there's other words that you can use for contact, but the most minimum kind of contact is must in Arabic. So he's even though he realizes there's a punishment, there's a hope inside and that that punishment is minimal. Right. And that's that law word is highlighting the love he has for his father and how unbearable that thought is. Even though it's unbearable, he has to face that reality and tell his dad to deal with that reality. If I were to give you an example of that.

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My dad's gonna hate me for this, but I love him so much. I'm going to tell you, so the doctors told him that he needs heart surgery right? A few years ago, and he's like, no, no, no, these doctors don't know anything. I don't listen to them. I just gotta eat more bananas. I'll be fine. Like

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another doctor.

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You're gonna need a sense aren't enough. You're going to need, sir. No, no, no, I'm really it's understandable. He's terrified. He's terrified. It doesn't want to do it. Right. But then thankfully, there was a doctor who was mean enough to say, Listen,

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if this does, if you don't do this, this is what's gonna happen. I want to spell it out because it hurt for me to hear it. But he spelled it out to him. And you know, like tough love. Right? I had a friend like that not in case of my my dad, he was a friend I had and little Arkansas, he's also a cardiologist. And he used to tell me how he treats his patients like his patients would come in, you know, oh, so you you need stents, your WHY DON'T NEED since it's okay, I just, you know, what do you eat, I eat six eggs every morning. And I do this, like cholesterol champion, right? And they're not changing their diet, and they're going to come back for surgery. Now he goes, Listen, you don't have

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to worry about coming back. So you're probably going to die before then. You're gonna die. It's gonna be painful. It's gonna, I'm pretty sure of it. I would think maybe probably the next week or two. But I don't think you should get surgery that might be uncomfortable. Death is a lot more convenient for you. Like he was fantastically like.

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And then his patients would get surgery.

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All right. Because sometimes you do need tough love. But what we're getting with Ibrahim alayhi salam is this. He's sharing a harsh reality, but he's still not letting go of his love for his dad. And he's still he's still speaking about Allah in this most loving way. It's this beautiful delicate balance that he struck. And the reason for that coonelly shaytani will Yeah, because then you're going to be a protective friend for or an associate of the devils. And you know, this, what Allah what he's telling Allah or telling his father is that on Judgment Day, you're going to be counted on the side of the devil, you're, you're siding with him now that's where you're going to be on

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judgment day. That's not what I want for you. Call now the dad heard all of this. The father is listening and listening and listening and listening. I want you to kind of for a moment, I want you to pretend to be the dad. Just hear it from the dad's point of view, my son or whatever it is. You're just you're you're barely holding in the urge to slap your son after the first line. Why do you worship this? And you're holding it in and he drops another one. You need to follow me then he drops another one. I you know your don't worship the devil. What did you say?

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And they said, I'm afraid that you're going to mind will punish you. And you'll be a friend of the devils. Like he's just on and on and on. And he has to take a step back as to how am I going to deal with this boy?

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This is no he's not looking at this as let me consider what my son is saying.

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That's not what's on his mind. You know what's on his mind?

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Wait, so does that mean you're not gonna follow my religion anymore?

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Am I hearing this? Am I hearing some insubordination? Is that what I'm hearing?

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Like he can't even fathom that son might be saying something of value to the Father. That's not even the relationship. The relationship is, Am I hearing that you're gonna go a different way than me?

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The conversation wasn't even about Ibrahima. They said now, the conversation was about the Father. Right? The conversation is the father should be changing his direction in life. But the father is not even considering Oh, should I be changing direction in life? The father's bigger problem is what does that mean? You're changing direction?

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Who are you to even

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you're gonna forget about he doesn't even bring up How dare you talk to me this way. Or hard? How dare you tell me I worship the devil. None of that. Watch this caller. He wound into an early hottie. Yo Brahim.

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You know, Arabic students know and Tara Haven and Tara people, but this is one

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turning away you

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you know like the predicate of the sentence became the subject of the sentence strangely, it's been flipped the habit is first and looked at it the second

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turning away you are

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from my gods.

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Ibrahim. This is not

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able I know the

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you know, we hear the recitation. We know Allah is capturing a very aggressive moment. The father is raining down on his dad right down in the sun and he's just, you know, Thunderbolts are coming at him. And he says it Lampton day. If you if you didn't stop. If you didn't cut this out. I better not hear a word about this again.

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He says if and if that doesn't have

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going now to Joomla Nica I will I swear by, I will stone you to death myself.

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And then he adds, okay, if you don't stop, I will I will murder you myself. I'll stone you to death myself. Why don't you Malia

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Get away from me. And don't come back for a long time. Just get out of here. So first of all, he said, If you don't stop, I will kill you. Right? That's not about the I want you to know that. There's two things. One thing is the Islam of Ibrahim Alayhi Salam. I want you to remember two things. One thing is what Islam of Ibrahim Malaysia The second thing is the Tao of Ibrahim Elisa.

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When he says if you don't stop he's stopping him from the Dawa.

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Not from the Islam of Ibrahim from the Darwin right? If you keep on doing this, though, if you keep telling me about this, well, what am I going to do?

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I'm going to murder you. I'm going to stone you to death. But even the Father already knows the Islam of Ibrahim are they some is impossible to stop.

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He can't stop that one. So what does he do? He does he gives two things to do. One if you keep giving this hour I will kill you to get away from me. And don't come back for a long time. Just go make go away free kind of like forever money means that Oh, ILA go away from me for a long, long time go somewhere I don't I don't want to see your face. What is it you want to see his face because he can't even tolerate the side of Islam.

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So the Dawa to Islam will get Ibrahim is I'm killed. But his Islam alone even if he doesn't give Dawa is so offensive to the father says Get out of here. But in that there is a confession of the Father to that the convictions of their of his son are so powerful, that he knows that he will never ever leave it. So the best thing to fear is not going to work.

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Maybe fear will stop him from giving me Dawa. But fear is not going to work in him leaving Islam because you can't scare somebody to be to be stupid. When somebody has reached a conclusion, you can threaten them to become dumb again. I can't unknow something. So the only thing I can do now is maybe I can threaten him with distance from me. I know he loves me. How does he know? He loves him? He's talking to him even in the most loving way all about it. Yeah. But yeah, but yeah, but over and over again. And he's afraid for his father. He loves his dad. So he says Get away from me. So now he's even thinking Abraham will be like, No, I don't want to get away from my dad. I love my dad too

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much. Okay, maybe I won't show Islam in front of him. Maybe I'll just go along with it. Right? So he says, Why journey Malia and the dad is not necessarily saying Get away from me never come back. He's thinking when I say these lines, that he's gonna come back in line. I mean, I think Buxton is Indians Bangladeshis, they know this really well. Right? Parents do dramatic lines to get you back in line. Right? Would you be shocked at the corner of me?

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Never showing your face again. You know, why? Because you didn't listen to something.

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You know, as the one that way if they were if they're going to do that dramatic line. That's the way of getting you back in line. Right. So he's hoping that Ibrahim Al Assad is going to come back to surrender. But Abraham Lincoln was already surrendered to someone else.

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And the other thing about this is the observation that I want you to know is that when he made this this you know expulsion threat to Abraham Ali salaam, and tried to silence him. He didn't respond to anything Ibrahim Hassan said to anything.

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And this is a very powerful tactic of those you love when they are cornered and they know they're wrong. They know they're wrong. They know they're wrong and they're in what they they're highlighting something that you know you're is wrong yourself. Later on. We know his entire nation Raja Willa unfussy him, they looked inside themselves and said in documentable volume on you're the ones that are wrong, not just him, his entire nation knows they're wrong. But what is the dad doing? He's flipping it's called flipping the script is turning it back around, and you're the one who's offensive. Abraham, you're the one that is talking to me. You're You're abandoning our tradition, or

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our Hebrew into an alley hottie, Ebrahim? In other words, it has nothing to do with reason, I don't have to explain why we do it. I don't have to explain to you why you follow this religion. I don't have to explain to you why we worship this culture. I don't have to explain to you why we continue this daily practice, whatever those practices are, I don't owe you an explanation. The explanation is it is my you know, these are my God, and I'm your dad. And that's final. That's why.

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And in doing so, he's actually made the ultimate case that the arguments of the son the dean of the son is based on reason, but the religion of the Father is based on his authority.

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Right? And the if you want to be loyal to your father, then you have to give up your brain. You have to give up your reason. And so that's the position he puts Ibrahim Ali said, I mean, there are millions of people around the world who get

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In this exact position every day, every day,

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they stand up for what's right. And their own family comes afternoon says that's not how our family does things. Who do you think you are? Or you know better? You? How old are you again, you know better than us. You're gonna teach us get out of my house. You're gonna have this scene play out a million times in households around the world because somebody took the way of Ibrahim Ali Salaam and somebody took the way of the father of Ibrahim Ali Salaam. And so inshallah in another session, we're going to talk about what Ibrahim Al isms final response was to his father, before we conclude with this passage, what a lovely welcome filter I came whenever anyone here can be it was lacking

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Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.