Ask Musleh – How do I balance between my spouse and my parents?

So this one is Salaam Alaikum. So if you are married, it becomes a challenge to be close to your parents and keep them happy, especially if you're living across the country. So how do you prioritize between your parents and your spouse's parents?

I didn't expect that one.

So for the marriage talk, okay.

How do you balance relationship? Let's just generalize the question for everyone. How do you balance your relationship with spouses, husband and wives, as opposed to parents? The first thing that I want to say to you is a very general and fundamental answer, and that is you don't balance it. Allah orders you to be righteous to parents, a lot ordered that to you several times, Allah told you that in the poor end, obey your parents, The Good Wife, the obedient wife, the good, respectful husband is a husband that knows how to understand this priority that he has not only for himself, but for his wife, or the husband as well. You see what I'm saying? What you have to do is the problem is not

you trying to balance this between you and parents, the problem is, is your spouse and what they if they understand that responsibility that they have with a lot as Elijah, to respect parents. So this is not a responsibility that you guys have to somehow work out together, what you guys have to come to agree is Look, a lot orders me to respect your parents, and a lot orders me to respect my own parents. So we just got to make sure that we always respect our parents as much as to the best of our ability, whether it's an overseas relationship, you know, you're living in one country, Mom and Dad are living in the other country, you try to please them as much as possible. If they say, I want

you to call me, you know, every week or call me a little more often. And guess what you do? You make time and you call your parents more often. Because that's what's going to make them feel good. If they tell you look, you want to come home, they want you to come back and move closer to the house. Well, this gets into a lot of other technical issues that we won't we won't talk about right now, who has that right? Is it just the couples can make that decision or parents have that right to make a decision? That's a whole different issue. But just generally speaking, always remember, Allah azza wa jal ordered you to do this a lot as eligible in the court and never orders you to obey husband or

wife at the cost of disobeying parents. It doesn't happen. So you always have to make sure that you prioritize that responsibility towards the responsibility between the couples