Parenting Tips

Muiz Bukhary

Channel: Muiz Bukhary

Topics: Parenting

Episode Notes

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A talk delivered by Sheikh Muiz Bukhary on Thursday the 25th of June at Hira School in Addu, Maldives.

Episode Transcript

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salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

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Mashallah the sisters answer the Salah much better than the brothers.

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In the evening I had to talk to the master they said I said I'm on a good

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side. I know we are fasting but still let's play it again Russia sisters active

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smilla rahmanir rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa sallahu wa sallam Allah ashrafi nambia evil masa de cambio de now Habib in our karate our union Mohammed bin Abdullah la vida early he was happy he uploaded sadati de moda slim my back.

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We begin by praising Allah subhanho wa Taala who is our Creator, sustain and nourish, protect and cure We ask Allah azza wa jal to shower his choices of blessings and salutations upon our beloved prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa alayhi wa sallam his family members, his companions and all those who tread upon his path with utmost sincerity until the day

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before I begin, I would like to put forward a disclaimer, and that is that I am in no position at all to advise parents because I am not an experienced parent. I haven't seen my grandchildren as yet. But I'm a young parent, I have two sons, two little guys, they're quite a handful. One is jabril and the other is Mika Hill. One is six years old and the other is three years old. So the chef wanted me to share a few words with you also, here I am, there are much more experienced with me Mashallah.

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But then, with a fella that I should speak a few words, I'm speaking on behalf of them.

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And I'm not here to advise anybody, I'm just here to share a few pieces of advice that I apply in my own life and inshallah Donna, it might be beneficial for you all, as well, inshallah.

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So, early in the evening,

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I came to the school and they played a very nice video presentation about the school Mashallah. And I was very impressed. I met the children as well and tell you the truth.

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It was pretty impressive. I mean, they had very intriguing questions that they asked me and even 100 I was very impressed by the command of English. So I think the school is doing a fantastic job and ask Allah subhana wa tada to accept the brothers and sisters who are involved. And I also asked Elijah to take the school from strength to strength. My dear brothers and sisters in Islam.

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In regard to our children, children are a blessing from Allah subhanho wa Taala, a huge blessing. Allah azza wa jal, he states in the novel called an old man who will moon Xena to Tanzania, that your children are well after all adornment of this worldly life. In other words, they are something that make this worldly life beautiful. So this is something for Muslims as well as non Muslims, but still, you understand we are very closely attached to our children, we love our children and children are a blessing from Allah subhanho wa Taala. At times parents who have five six children, they might find it a little difficult to understand that it's a blessing from Allah subhanho wa

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Taala. If you want to understand how great a blessing it is, you must ask a couple who don't have children. What yearning for children who makes so much of our attention to so many people who contact me and they asked me chef is there like any magic law that we can read for children you know, but in reality, we don't have anything yet to ask Allah subhanho wa Taala means you don't have any special specific two hours to read to, you know, for your, for the for a family to get children, you have to ask Allah Subhana Allah Allah, Allah azza wa jal will inshallah Allah bless you with the children. But if you speak to such individuals, that's when you realize what a great blessing these

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beautiful children that Allah Subhana Allah Allah has blessed us all with up. But now when you talk about blessings, blessings always come with strings attached. In other words, you are going to be questioned about these blessings by Allah subhanho wa Taala and especially your children because they are a blessing as well as a responsibility, they are a responsibility that we must fulfill unto Allah subhanho wa Taala we must look after them, we must nurture them we must bring them up. These are all responsibilities upon As parents, we must look after our children. So to touch a few pointers like I said earlier, that I try to bring in my life as much as possible and I hope that it

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will be beneficial for you all as well. I would like to start off with Salah

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look at lookman Allahu salatu salam Luqman al Hakim, he was known as Luqman the wise. he advises his son his own son. This is parenting advice that he is giving his son yagoona.

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More bill Murphy one hand in his car. He says, Oh my beloved son. Oh my beloved Son, you know you

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I can talk about this, I can break it down, you can see how he addresses his son. But that's not the point, I just want to highlight a surah. He says, After Miss Allah established Salah, so at times we find it, you know where our children at times being rebellious, they're not listening to us they're stubborn. And when you tell them to do something, perhaps they, you know, they taught back, we should not blame the children, we should blame ourselves. Because point a number two, we need to become role models for our children, we need to become role models for our children. You see, for example, as fathers, our children look at us like superheroes like, you know, like Superman, they

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look at us. So we need to become like Superman in the sense of talking about it in a good sense, we need to become role models for our children, so that they look up to us and they yearn to be like us. Say, for example, if you have a father, who is very abusive, who smokes, there is a high possibility that the child in the future except for Allah subhanho wa Taala, Willis, otherwise, the child also may take that dark path because his father was that kind of a role model for him. That's the example the father set for him. And likewise, mothers, because children grow up in the laps of their mothers, it always boils down to how a mother treats a child, you know, a very intriguing

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question. One of the children at the school asked me earlier in the evening, Chef, we found out that you memorize the Quran at the age of 14, what inspired you to and I was actually very impressed by the question, What inspired you to memorize the Quran, I was just sharing, you know, my childhood with the students, and I told them that at a very young age, I would say from the time I was born, it was my mother's intention, that I should take this path, that I should take this path, somewhere down the line, I actually wanted to become a computer engineer, a software engineer, but here I am, now I memorize the Quran. And I have, you know, I spent some time studying about Islam. And now I

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am, you know, calling to Allah subhanho wa Taala, I would say, you know, I'm trying to do it 24 seven. So I would say that this boils down to my mother's intention as well as my father's to us. So we as parents, we need to inculcate these things in our children, we need to make dua for them, we need to push them towards goodness. And we must become role models. At times, you know, the third point is that we must secure a good environment. And that is in regard to, for example, some parents, they they secure a good school for their children, and they expect the school to do everything. They expect the school to do everything. I mean, they're not worried about the

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environment at home, they're not worried about their relationship with their children, they expect that the child should go to a good school, and then you know, overnight become just amazing. Which is not something possible. I mean, this environment has to be maintained at home, there should be a good relationship between a parent and child. That's when a child flourishes. And that's when a child grows up to become a productive individual to society. And this is what we need today. Today, what's happening is that at times we become adults, we become so selfish, that at times we fight with our spouses, our homes are broken, we don't spend time with our children. And so what more can

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you expect from such houses other than broken children, psychologically disturbed children, you can't blame those innocent children. Tomorrow, they are going to come out psychologically disturbed, because they're coming from broken homes, their parents did not give enough time for them. But on the other hand, if it is a house that is built upon love, that is built upon love, each time the child comes home and sees both the parents you know, full of love towards one another, and they show the Chava the child with love as well. They spend time with the children that affects the child in such an amazing way. You see children need quality time. Our children need our presents, as they say

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our children need our presents.

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B, C, and D presents more than presents B, C and D S, our children need our presents more than our presidents we at times try to make up for the loss of being out there by giving them presents, gifts, toys, but they don't need that. They need quality time from us. They want us to spend time with them. They want us to have a good relationship with them, talk to them, ask them about their problems, ask them about how they spend their day at school, etc. But most of the time, you know, even though we live in such a modern era, where we have so many gadgets and so many things to make so life so much more easier. We still don't have time to spend with our family, with our children.

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This is a very sad issue that is gripping families all around the world. We must try to make time

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for our children. That's when we be able to build a good relationship with them. And I'm not just talking about just just time

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I mean, sometimes you know, you can be seated with your child playing with your phone, or you know the clicking away, but not concentrating with your child quality time is necessary. Look at the two prophets Allahu wa Salatu was Salam.

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Yusuf alayhi salatu was Salam. And I talk to you about the story of no holidays. You see the story of us Valley. So that was something that I touched on at last a while ago in the evening, if you look at the knife of use of violence to Islam, he went through so many challenges from day one, Allah subhanho wa Taala put him through so many challenges, innocent young little use of his brother and his own brother his own blood, they go and dump him into a well, they go and dump him into a well and doesn't end there. From the well. What happens? a caravan comes by and does that caravan rescue little Yusuf alayhi salatu salam, now, they take him captive and they take him to some

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foreign land and sell him as a slave. You and I we are all free free individuals. Just imagine tomorrow if somebody just kidnaps you and sells you as a slave. How would you feel? He was a little young boy, torn away from his beloved father. He was the apple of the eye of his father. He was torn away from his father taken and sold as a slave. And he did end there. Now Now comes about a minister as economist and he buys Yusuf alayhi salaatu wa Salaam as a slave takes him home. And after some time, Allah subhanho wa Taala mentions the story in the middle of Rama Rama Bella should the worst of it now.

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After he grows up, now he's an adolescent. What happens the lady of the house, the mistress of the house tries to seduce him. Another challenge. Another challenge another trial, she tries to seduce Yusuf alayhi salatu salam, wa Taala she loves all the dose and she had so many advantages. She was the mistress. He was a slave. She commands him for a title and come to me, she commands him, but then he stood his ground. He was an adolescent and as you all know, teenagers their hormones are all over the place. If he had wanted, he could have indulged in Haram. The doors are locked. And look at the Quran Allah Allah person above not just lock key double bolt at the dose she made sure all the

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doors are locked.

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And she was a rich, beautiful lady what's stopping us valets that was around, but then he stood his ground for them as Allah, Allah forbid, in number of BS and Ms. Why, indeed, your husband, he admonishes the lady, your husband, my master, he has made life good for me.

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And then he admonishes the lady, but then she still tries to seduce him by tearing his shirt and then the master comes and finds out and then eventually the master himself as the semester he finds out that his wife was at fault. And that story ends there. But does use valet Sarah to asylums trials in there No. He was imprisoned after that. He was imprisoned and it is the same lady as you all know, I'm sure you all aware of the story she caught because all the ladies of the town started Do you know how the ladies talk right so all the ladies of the town started to talk bad about her. And she wanted to prove her point she invited all of the ladies something for like a Travis I just

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now found out what our hobbies is.

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I thought of his sister away but to see Mashallah This is a nice plate of food.

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So she invited all of them for a nice meal and she gave them fruits and she gave them knives and she made use of arranged so that was lamb come in front of them. But did they do for Katana idea? They cut their hands we're gonna hash hash la mahadasha this individual is not a human being he is an angel. They were just blown away by the handsomeness of use of violence. That was enough. And then at that point, she threatens us Valley so that was a dam that is either prison or you must indulge in what I want you to indulge in color obesogenic boo me my

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prison is better for me. Now the point that I wish to highlight my dear brothers and sisters in Islam is that look at every point Yusuf Ali is not to a salon stood his ground and he adopted taekwon fear and consciousness of a loss behind more than okay. And From where did this come from? That little period of time that he spent with his father Yaqoob Alessandra Salah, a short period, as you all remember the very beginning of the ayah Surah he goes to his father and what is a Nero is a Haida Ashoka, Kabbalah shamsur will come around at home, Lisa didn't his father didn't follow yada yada yada Allah, the father and son had a very good relationship, as you can see, he goes and tells

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his father everything and his father advises him accordingly, that short period of time, that little use of it so that was not at that time that he spent with his father was such you could say such a, you know, time period full of quality time, that that had a life long effect.

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Use of alayhi salatu was Salam. On the other hand, look at the sun have no holidays.

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How long did know Hello Sarah to Islam live on the face of this earth? He lived for 1780 years according to most of the historians like him even a Cathy Rahim Allah and others. Remember that Kathy mentioned this in Alberta, you're winning 1780 years. And the period of Dawa the period of Darwin, Allah is latos law 950 years 950 years no, hello, Ah, that was era. after such a long period, his son was with him. His Son, the son, the son's name is a scholars of history mentioned was either yam or Canada. This particular son was with new Holly Serato Sam throughout that long period. And at the last point, I'm sure you're all aware of the story when the punishment of Allah

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subhanho wa Taala came down the believers were all on the ship, and the ship was thrown about the waves were like mountains. At that time, you know, Holly's not wassalam sees his son floundering in the water. And he cries out to him my son come about it. Come on, come aboard. Come about just you know, come about and be you. You can save yourself. And what was his obstinate what was his arrogant reply file as we Illa Giovanni Simoni mean?

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You know what, I'll just climb that mountain, and I'll save myself from the water. I'll climb the mountain, he witnessed everything. They were mocking, no challenge that was around when he was building that ship in the middle of a desert. They were saying, Where is the water? And why are you building a ship in the middle of the desert. And now he's witnessing the water warfare afternoon, the water coming out from this to the core of the earth and the heavens opening up and all the water coming from all over the place is witnessing such a huge sign from the signs of Allah subhanho wa Taala. But yet he didn't accept it. It was a trial and for no halloumi salatu salam. But my point

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here is Look, they spent so much of time together. But still it did not have an effect on the son of Malaysia. So my dear brothers and sisters in Islam, we must spend quality time with our children, advising them, guiding them towards that which is good. So in sha Allah, Allah tomorrow, they will become productive assets to society. That's what we need. We need productive assets to our community, to build our community, to take our community forward, to inspire our community and take it forward, we need productive individuals. And just one individual is enough. For that each one of us we must try to make our children that

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are rip off. And I'll just mention one story. And I'll wrap off, there was once a man.

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He had just one son who he loved very dearly. He loved very dearly. And he used to spend quality time, you know, he used to make time out of his schedule. He was a busy individual, but he used to make time out of his busy schedule. And he used to spend quality time with his little son every single day after he got home from work every single day. They used to play they used to you know, you know, talk, talk about things they spend quality time. Now, one day What happened was, he got a little busy at work. And he realized that by the time he goes home, he will not be able to spend that usual quality time that he spends with his child. So he was wondering what to do because he

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didn't want to disappoint his son. She was thinking how he can keep his son preoccupied, whilst he was thinking and contemplating. His eyes fell on a world map, a world map, large scale one, you know, on his office table, perhaps the minute he saw the map, an idea popped in his mind. He told the map from that book, okay, the map the world map, it is a large scale sized map. And he toyed into bits and pieces, he toyed into bits and pieces. Now his whole idea was that he wanted to get home and give these bits and pieces to his son as a puzzle. And he wanted him to complete the puzzle. In other words, complete the world map. So he was very happy. He put the bits and pieces in

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his pocket and he goes home. And when he went home, his son comes running to him expecting the usual quality time that he's going to spend with his father.

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But then the father said, Look, son, today, we're going to do something different. But he didn't know he didn't want to disappoint him. He said, we're going to do something different. I bought you a new toy today. Oh, wow, was the toy that was a toy. Then the father took all the bits and pieces of that map. And he gave it to him son, this is a jigsaw puzzle. If you can put this jigsaw puzzle in place, I have a gift for you. If you can put this jigsaw puzzle in place. This is the world map, I want you to put the jigsaw puzzle in place. Now the father was pretty confident that this was an impossible task. I mean, if I were to ask you, I mean, I would know how to put the world map. I

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mean, why would you put pacific ocean? I'm just saying. I mean, I don't know. I mean, if a student is really good in geography, yeah, they can try that even I would say that if you just have bits and pieces, where are you to fit the map? Where are the continents Where do comes from? It's a tough task. So the father was pretty

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confident that the Son is going to be engrossed and busy with this for some time, and that would provide him enough and more time to finish his work and get back to his son. So he gives him the bits and pieces of paper and he goes into his study, he goes into his office.

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Lo and behold, not even 10 minutes, the boy comes running to the Father, with the map complete.

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The father was just blown away.

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He told the boy, son, I know you're that you're intelligent, but I didn't know that you are this intelligent. How on earth did you complete the map so fast?

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The boy said, well, that, you know, it was simple, actually.

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I flipped the paper the other side. And that was the body of a man.

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I put his head in place. I put his hands in place, I put his body in place, I put his legs in place, and I flipped it the other side of the world came about.

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I know it's funny, but then the father said, Son, today you have taught me a great lesson. And that is if man comes right the world comes right?

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If man comes right, the world comes right. So my dear brothers and sisters in Islam, we need upright individuals who will become huge assets to society. So please try to spend as much time with your children working on them and make dua to Allah subhanho wa Taala for your children. A Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam The Tao of a parent is no barrier between Allah subhanho wa Taala and the parent make as much as possible for your children. Work on them. Now lots of Anahata Allah accept all of our children, and many Azerbaijan, bless those who don't have children with beautiful children, and many Azerbaijan just as have unitrust here this beautiful school man unite

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us in the gardens of general our beloved Prophet, Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, I'm in Russia and in hamdulillahi Rabbil alameen