What you should know about your parents
Channel: Muhammad West
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How are they gonna shoot on the road? James Miller man Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala COVID Mursaleen. So you know Muhammad and while Ernie he was a big main, my beloved brothers and sisters Sadat, Malik and rahmatullahi wa barakato
Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen always it will begin with the praise of Allah and the shadow Allah Allah Allah Allah we testify that there is none worthy of worship besides Allah subhana data, and we send our love greetings, salutations and beloved Debbie Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, to his pious, his pure family to his companions and all those who follow his sunnah until the end of time. May Allah subhanaw taala bless us to be amongst them. I mean, I mean when hamdulillah Al Hamdulillah. Last week, we spoke about parenting. And we said that many times, we find that the relationship between the parent and the child has broken down to such an extent Allah mentions the
either way the parents are making dua to Allah, Allah use the term is the author that as if though they are dying of desperation making dua Allah helped me with my child, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do with my son or my daughter, who is this person? And they say to their child, I mean, like, well, to you, Daniel, why don't you believe in Allah? Why won't you listen to what we're saying that this is good for you. And so last week, we spoke about before we talked to the kids today, Inshallah, we're going to talk to our kids, we talk to the parents, because we are the adults, we need to be mature, how best do we parent our kids when they become adults. And that's a
difficult thing. When they were young, and they were babies, they did whatever we said, you know, now when they become become older, and they are individuals, and they have their own minds, we have to pay them as we have to educate them, like we talk to adults. And we spoke about that last week when Hamdulillah. But at the same time, a relationship goes both ways. As the parent must and the parent always is the one that extends the first hand, we are always the more mature ones, the children will also have to bring the pot. When I say children, whether you're a teenager, whether you are in your part in primary school, whether you are your 80s, you will always be a child to your
parents, and your spatula when I go when I do my research, I like to look at, you know, not only Islamic sources, I go to like TED Talks and all those things. And you will find very, very little information in the western world about being loving your parents, being respectful to your parents. You know, when I search these things, the first thing you get how your parents have messed you up, how your parents who change for you, you very seldomly find how you should love your parents. And this is a very this something is one of the foundations of Islam,
you will find some things are what I want us to know about our parents. Number one, your parents will never, ever stop caring about you worrying about you. And they there is no person on earth that will love you unconditionally, as your mother and your father, your the your romantic partner, eventually, she or he will get fed up with you if you have certain character and they will leave you, your children will leave you but your parents will never abandon you. It's very, very sad. You know, we have Imams who go to the prisons. And they'll say after the gangsters and the friends all abandon the colleague that is in jail, you'd find that old mummy coming every week to kick up on her
son. Now when everybody left that child, only the mother is still the holding on, holding on. So you will not find anyone on this earth that will love you and care for you. And will cry for you like your parents will. And the shows in the Quran. Allah speaks about a moment I'm calling to Shuhada it's harder Jacoba law to Allah says you are not there at the moment when there be yaku when he was dying, he's dying. Subhanallah he's going to meet Allah, the most difficult moment in your life. And look what he says. He says it called the Liberty he metabolome embody. He's not worried about himself. He says my sons that were Yusuf and his other sons of Asus, my boys, what are you going to
worship after I'm gone? He's still worried about his kids. When I'm here, I could still guide you now I'm going to go, my biggest worry isn't Kiama and Allah my biggest worry is you guys. What are you going to worship after me called who they said, We're going to worship your Lord. And the Lord of your father Ibrahim and his Merino is hockey law and Wahida the one true Lord, we're not going to know who Muslim and we are Muslims. And that gave him comfort when hamdulillah and really as parents, yes, we want the best for our kids. We want them to be the best academically, we want them to be healthy. We want them to excel in everything, but ultimately, so long as they are Muslims
while Hamdulillah we will take that Alhamdulillah so long as they live on Islam and they die on Eman Al Hamdulillah. It doesn't matter what happened in the dunya that is what happened. That is what counts that is what counts. So up until parents this the sad news is up until the moment we die. We will not we will not stop worrying about our kids no matter how old they are, no matter what they you know have in the Life will always worry it's a burden way a love which Allah has placed in our hearts until the day until the day we pass away until piano and that is why Allah subhanaw taala
He says to us, when He commands us about instruct us. He says Wirkkala rabuka. Allah says the things I have made compulsory, Allah taboo. Illa er, number one that you worship Me alone will be rewarded at Asana. And for your parents, you give them a son the best. When you talk to them, you only speak to them in the best way. When you disagree with him. You can't agree all the time you disagree in the best possible way. Anything you give to your parents is the best. Why?
Why is Allah put paid and second only to him, because Allah is the one that loves you the most the case for you the most. And so you first your first allegiances to him, and then to your parents. There's nobody that will love you and care for you as much as your parents of Allah subhanaw taala and what's beautiful in this ayah Allah is not saying your Muslim parents, Allah is saying any parents if you are evil, for example, even a Christian mother or father, even that mother and father that's not loving, aquatic life, that period humans give the best possible treatment. And then Allah goes into detail in this ayah and he says he may have novena indica if one of them or both of them
becomes old. Now why does Allah mentioned this? Because it's just human nature. When our parents when people become 6070, in that retirement age, they become difficult. It's normal, they become brittle, they become moody they they become demanding. So Allah says if your parents you are gifted with parents in old age, Allah says if you are blessed with that, but as often so don't say a word of off don't show any displeasure to them. What are 10 her humor and don't repel them? Don't make them feel like you are pushing them away. Now Allah specifically mentions when they're old, they're not thinking right? They see me senile, maybe 100% See now at that point, you must disobey them or
disrespect them. Now what about when they are in their prime and they are guiding you and giving you good advice? How they must you treat them? But cool, but if you speak to us since we're Kula Houma, colon Karima whenever you speak to them, speak to them with honor, speak to them with dignity, that Manzi that Allah has given them that status Allah has given them over you must always be maintained, you will always be a baby compared to them. And subhanAllah it's so beautiful that you find people hamdulillah they are, wherever they are CEOs, very sophisticated, wealthy people, but when they come to speak to their mom or their dad, they still lower themselves, out of humility for the parents.
It's a beautiful, beautiful thing. And yet, Allah says, Wofford Lahoma Jana has dually and lower your wings lower down the wings of Rama and humility. So Allah says, Whenever you are in front of them, you be the small one. Even if mommy's talking a lot of things which you don't want to hear, even if she's nagging and going on and on and on and saying the same thing that you've heard for the last 50 years. You lower down that wing of respect and humility will call and say to Allah make dua for them. Or Robin ham, Huma Kamara Bayani Sahira, oh Allah have mercy on them, because surely that they were merciful to me when I was young, when I cried and screamed and weighed myself and dirty
myself. They swore to me without any complaint. And so now this is my opportunity or Allah, to also show my humility towards them. And so remember, and many times you know, it's not an eat some people that handle if you're blessed with an easy relationship with your parents, it's a blessing when hamdulillah it's not the case in every household, some households, the friction between parent and child, the personality clashes. It's just how Allah created the parent and the child. Sometimes the parents are difficult. Sometimes the parents are irrational. And you can always disagree on a principle, but with respect and with love, with respect with love and dignity, your parents should
never feel like you are disrespecting them. And that is what Allah requires of us. And this is the one relationship you know, we it's not a two way street. Unfortunately, Allah requires of us to always give respect to our parents, even if they don't give us respect in return, not for only the sake but for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala.
Now dermatomes demean many times the problems that we find in our life, the problems that we find in our business, in our health, in other areas of our life is because of a problem in one of our relationships. The Prophet SAW Salem says fun loving, scary Hadith, he says to sins, which Allah does not hesitate which ALLAH is quick to punish in the dunya. Allah causes you misfortune in the dunya is a transgressor a tyrant, someone who causes corruption in the dunya and someone who disrespects his parents. This may be span like thinking, why am I not getting that promotion? why things are going right in my life. Why are things not moving in the positive direction? It's because
your mom is crying because of your treatment of your dad is lying up at work, lying up at night said because of you span Allah, how then can you do as we answered, how then can Allah put Rama and Baraka in your life when your parents are miserable because of you and Subhan Allah as we know, all of us who have kids
Well, no, there is no pain. There is no pain that is more painful than knowing our children and are not leading a life that we are happy with. That brings us the stress, we can take any pain, but not something which is wrong with our kids. There'll be so Selim says, Should I not inform you of a cupboard cupboard? So you have minuses, and you have major sins. Then he says the biggest of the major sins, the biggest of the big, the worst of the worst. He says, number one to come achieve what Allah that's the worst of the worst. And then second, to disrespect your parents, to insult your parents to disobey your parents plan. Allah is worse in the sight of Allah, when many, many sins
that we take is worse than hammer worse than those kinds of things which we take as I wouldn't be law, but to say to hurt our parents, is something great in the sight of Allah subhanaw taala
that these are Salam says in a hadith, he is doomed he's doomed. He's doomed three times. May such a person be doomed to Janam maybe Doom to Jana may Doom to jahannam is harvested which person and then he says the man the person that son the daughter, who gets one or both of his parents in old age during his lifetime, but he can't enter Jannah he doesn't get the opportunity Jana. So what that means was telling you, if you have a mum or dad, who is now retired, you are in your prime and they now towards you know, the letter age of their life. You have a golden ticket from ALLAH SubhanA wa Tada, you have a Golden Pass to intergender through them. Just make them happy. And Allah the
parents, the happiness is through your happiness, if you're doing well, and things are going good in your life, that's enough for them to be happy. Your promotion makes them happier than you. Your happiness in your marriage makes them happier. And the difficulties in your life makes them unhappy. So we're going to be some says if you get your parents in old age, that is a gift Allah has given you that you can attain your Janay easily go Jana is lying the Just don't hurt them. And so the one who is unable to get Allah's mercy through them, that really he's doomed. It doesn't matter how much the hatchet you're going to make. Now, it doesn't matter how much faster your charity you're going
to make. That was your Jana. So Subhan Allah may Allah grant us, our parents to be in, get them in the old age, and grant us to have the patience and to take this opportunity to get Allah's blessings. I mean, as Paula just asked anyone here, who doesn't have the parents in old age who lost both his parents are happy and it's a blessing that can never come back. Now there are many blessings that go and Allah brings you back you lose money today, Allah gives you tomorrow health, what even children's Parliament you know, Allah quantity will only depress it the same one, but you can get more children, which will never get a second mother or second father. If that blessing is
gone, it's gone forever. And so any one of us who still has one or two of our parents, and hamdullah, what a blessing that is from Allah subhanaw taala. And for those whose parents have passed away, remember, you can still continue to show your honor to them and your love to them by doing good deeds in the dunya and will reach them and what a wonderful gift you in the cupboard. And you realize my son, my daughter is thinking of me, they've made some football and they've given some charity and it reaches them What joy it will bring them in the cupboard. Subhanallah
many of us we look for success in our life, in our businesses in our in our kids, we don't realize the power of the dua of our parents. The success that we need, what is usually required is that extra to offer all payments, then at least one says there are three to us that Allah never ever rejects, that Allah never turns away, the dua of adjust leader for his people, the dua of the oppressed against the oppressor, and the dua of a parent for his or her child's panela. Whatever success we have undoubtably whatever exams we pass whatever it is, we know that there was a mum or grandmother or father, that would make dua for us, that would make dua for wellbeing, and we see the
fruits in our life SubhanAllah. And so, yes, as we get older, you know, we move from kids to teenagers, we want to assert our independence, we want to have our own points of view, we want to be respected, it's normal, it's part of human life, and you have sort of a leeway in your teenage years, you're not thinking straight. Once you've moved from the teenage years, and you're an adult now, you need to realize you need to realize who your parents are, and the power that they have, that Allah has given them, the authority and the respect that you need to give them span Allah, and how much they do us and they happiness impacts you. If you're not even doing it for your parents,
for the sake of Allah, do it for your own sake, bring that Baraka in your own life through the happiness.
Then avviso salaam sees this hadith, the pleasure of Allah lies in the pleasure of your parents, and the anger of Allah lies in the displeasure of your parents. panela.
He didn't say that if your parents are right and wrong, he made it basic. Make your mom and dad happy. And don't make them angry, doesn't mean you have to accept everything they say. Especially if they make a mistake. No parent is perfect. But do your best to make them happy and Allah will give you His pleasure. And if you are hurting your parents or
There are many parents that are hurting because of the kids. They know that Allah subhanaw taala is not pleased with his partner, may Allah protect us. A man comes to the visa Salam. And he says Ya rasool Allah, I have lived my parents I came all the way from Yemen, the old I've lived them so that I can fight with you in Jihad and I want to die as a shaheed. And then he even thought that to show his zeal and his love for Allah. He said, I even lifted while they were crying for me to stay, but I left him for you sake. So there'll be so seldom said,
why go back to them, go back to them and make them laugh, like you've made him cry, bring joy to them as you've made Pozzato to them. That is your Jihad that is better for you than coming all the way here and fighting with me with Rasulullah saw Salem go and spend time with him. It's better than to spend time with an abuser Salem now ask you, if we knew that the Narcissus Allah you know he was alive and he was living in Medina how many of us will say we leave Cape Town when Makhija to Medina and then I'll be some tells you why you coming here. The Baraka isn't here with me. It's with your mom the Buka go back to her Subhan Allah, Allahu Akbar.
Save yourself from Jahannam Subhan Allah we know of this hadith which gives us great hope.
All of us have committed sin. Some of us committed major sins. We have a lifetime that is so problematic. And it becomes like a date upon us that you think how can I get out of this? Out of this misery? A man comes to even Abbas Raja lOn. And he said that I have in one Hadith he says I have fornicating I've drank wine, another Hadith Pinilla within the Hadith. He says that I had a fiance while I proposed to a lady and she rejected my proposal. So I murdered her. And I feel bad. I killed her. What can I do? To get ECFR? What must I do? Give me a dua give me some how much donation must make for Allah to forgive me. And so he asked him even above syptoms Hobbes's are your parents
still alive? So he said yes, my mother is still alive. And so he then said to the man, go and serve her because Allah he I don't know of any deed beta that cleanses a man of sin than serving his parents. panela that while you are having a conversation, sending a message giving your mom a phone call, Allah is removing your sins, because you're bringing happiness to art happiness to his heart.
Your Subhanallah sin like murder is forgiven through bringing joy to your parents life. That is why that you can get Jana through them so easily. So easily. We can get Jana through them. We end up with the story of voice recording. Voice will cognate Rahimullah was amongst the tapir in the debate is the generation of the sahaba. The dabbler in or those who follow the Sahaba they never got to meet them visa Salam. Now we know from the Sahaba the greatest Sahabi is Abu Bakr the Alana right we know he's the best of the best amongst the tabby and even the best of them is this man, always on cottony who was he? What was he? He was not amongst the scholars like there are many Sahaba Hasan
Basri great scholar. He wasn't a great scholar. We don't know of him making an excessive amount of Ibadah like some of the other greats great tambourine. Yet we know that in the lifetime of an abyssal Salem than at least some say to say number. One day you will meet a man called aways, from Yemen from a town of Quran. He has a mother when he comes to meet you when you see him. Ask him to make dua for you. Or you ask him to make ECFR for you. Because when he makes to, Allah always answers his dua. So say Mohammed was so surprised. And I'm Amara Dylon and this man is going to come in I must ask him to make dua for me. But of course, the humanity of St. Norman, whenever a group of
hajis came from Yemen, you would ask them, Is there any Buddha always here in the Jamar
inimitable ways and said he's not always here. And in the years would go by eventually a year came when he said, Yeah, that's this Buddha always sitting there always so currently doesn't know anything of this. And so he says, Your name always Are you from Quran? Did you have leprosy some time in your life? And you said yes, yes, yes. Did you have a mother who was blind? And he said, Yes, I had a mother that was blind. And you took care of her serious? So then he said, Brother always please make dua for me and it's difficult for me, because then at least some set of you that whenever you make dua, Allah is immediate to answer your DUA and if you take a vow says wala is
something Allah gives it immediately. Now, what did this man do Subhanallah scholars mentioned, what he did was, was he heard of the Nabil Salaam in Medina, and he embraced Islam, and he wanted to go to Medina to be a Sahabi. And his mother said, No, stay here. I'm blind. If you go away, who's going to help me? So he said, I will leave being a Sahabi for your sake, Mommy, I will take care of you. And he took care of her until she passed away. And because of that Subhan Allah than resources, a woman who you ask him to make dua for you. At least this is a Muslim, but fairytales that you can get the status of that for the same mother and father, like always accordingly.
More than a piece of cinema enables Hadith. He says the biggest door of Jannah and the middle door of Jana is your parents meaning the easiest route to Jana is through your mom and dad. Don't try to make. I mean it's fun that we have to make jihad and make dodge all those are important. But those are the difficult paths that if you want to get to Jana directly, the easiest route is through your parents, make them happy, make them smile, spoil them. When you disagree with him, you lower yourself if they are wrong, be respectful towards them, honor them the best you can be they are unnecessary and they are unnecessary. Be patient with them. And if Allah has given you parents in
their old age and the more difficult they are Alhamdulillah the bigger and sweeter the Jana will be. May Allah grant us to intergender through our parents. May Allah grant our parents Jana, if Allah has grown our parents to be alive and Allah keep them alive for many, many years. Grant in good health and if any of our parents have passed away my legati Mo Farah, Allah grande coverage via garden from the gardens of Jana, and may Allah grant us all to be united in general Philadelphia as a family. I mean, I mean Alhamdulillah just a few announcements Alhamdulillah jaakkola for the two hours with the Kasim is with us. hamdulillah has been discharged from the most from the hospital. I
know Auntie Kia is also not feeling too well on the corner Malaga Rhonda dickeya. Shiva Amala grant all our old people a strength and a long life. I mean,
also we announced that alhamdulilah courses Islam from scratch, the second episode came out yesterday he is live on YouTube. So those of you would like to join the YouTube channel you can see the the technology upgraded and we say just UCLA hi to those who donated Allah grant Baraka in your businesses and your finances for donating So alhamdulillah and then of course our soup kitchen continuously looks for support animals, so please support you in the recipe. The law does not law hate or some law say no Muhammad. Well, Islam doesn't have to live up to that. I mean, like where to get