The Women Around the Messenger SAW – Episode 13

Hello James manga rahima from the La

serrato salam Allah.

Mohammed Ali he was a big man in our beloved brothers and sisters in Islam Islam Allah camara De La Habra cattle to sokola Hi, and thank you so much for joining us. This episode 13 of our series, the women, the Blissett women around the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Just a reminder that insha Allah tomorrow would be the day of Ashura, it is the 10th of Muharram. And as we know, this is perhaps the holiest one of the holiest days of the year to foster the process of lamb. He made the most effort to foster today, after the month of Ramadan, and the reward for it is to of course, receive an entire year of sins have been forgiven. So all the sins that were done in the last 12

months, inshallah we hope, will be expected with us fasting. So I encourage myself and you to exert yourself to force the day of Ashura. And of course, if you do so, then the sooner as well as to force the day before it the ninth or the day after the 11th and we keep the entire minor to asthma Allah subhanaw taala bless us and except from us our fasting I mean, we get back to our series we were talking about eyeshadow, Yolanda and we we spent the last couple of episodes talking about the beautiful relationship between the prophets of Salaam in Asia, and this deep affection and bond. And we even ended up for the last Hadith we the prophets of Salaam when he was asked, well, who would

you love the most to sutala he said Ayesha, I share is the one I love the most. And this opens up a kind of a controversial question. Was the prophets of Salaam unfair when it came to Ayesha? Because we know in our Sharia, that Allah subhana wa Taala requires for a man who marries multiple wives, a man who is polygamous and inshallah we'll talk about polygamy as well this evening.

He is required to be fee and just between his wives was this was this unfair of the professor lumping the way he treated. So let's look at the way Allah subhanaw taala speaks about the interaction between multiple lives. In this I am going to speak about it's going to talk about polygamy and how to interact with those multiple wives. So in Surah, Nisa, and in this Surah Surah, Nisa actually means the surah of the women, Allah dedicated at least I mean, this one surah solely for the for the upliftment to enshrine the rights of women, orphans, children, in a time and again, you have to put yourself 1400 years ago in Arabia, where women were bought and sold, they were

buried alive, they were inherited. Allah subhanaw taala brings down laws that that enshrined her rights and her dignity and in fact, Allah called the Surah Surah Nisa because of how women were treated. So Allah subhanho wa Taala in this verse, Sudanese surah number four, verse number three, what led to consider from the Adama, thank you Whoa, ma ba, ba, ba ba ba. So Allah Subhana Allah says that if you are fearful that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry any other woman that you want. Two of them, three of them, four of them, but in fifth alotta you know, but if you can't be fair between multiple wives, providing only maybe one oma malakut a monochrome

or one of those whom your right hand possesses that ladder, that is most suitable with Allah that you do not inclined to injustice. This is a favorite idea of our brothers that promote polygamy, those polygamous brothers amongst us. And I think for purely disclosure purposes, for full disclosure, I must mention that polygamy is something which I cannot speak about, well, hamdulillah I only have one wife, and I intend to inshallah, keep it that way. Until, until Jenna amin, I always mentioned to the brothers in Nicaragua that you know, you want to do it the first time you want to do it once do it right properly. You don't have to do it again. And you do once and insha Allah, you

know, all the way up until tokuyama. That I mean, so our polygamous brothers like to mention this verse and they say, See Allah Swansea's, Medi, two and three and four women, right? understand what this ayah is all about? Yes, this ayah does permit polygamy and it is part of our Sharia and Isa permissibility. But this is in its essence is about justice. Why did this idea get revealed? So back in the day you had, you didn't have orphanages, and Allah protect our kids, may we live long enough to raise our kids to be completely independent of us when they mean, but back in the day, we'd never finishes. So what would happen is when parents would pass away the wealth, and the kids would be

looked after by a trustee. So a man would, for example, take take in these orphan children, and sometimes those orphaned children are wealthy, they had money from their parents. So you would take that wealth and you would hold it until the children were old enough to receive the money themselves. So what happened? There was a man who, you know, was looking after an orphan girl and he had a huge amount of money a fortunately of her

And as she was about to get old enough to inherit this money on our own, he decided to marry her, so that he could keep her and really not her. He wanted her well, so you keep the wealth for himself. Of course, this is unjust. So Allah subhanaw taala revealed this verse, Allah says that if you cannot, if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girl, then don't marry her. So it is very, very bad for someone who looks after orphans, to then go about and marry those children. Because there's such a huge room for abuse, abuse of power. So Allah says, Don't marry this orphan girl that you're looking for, that you're looking after, don't marry her men, any other woman in the

aisle is basically saying, There's plenty of fish in the sea. Now, if you're not happy with one, they marry two, or three or four. But then Allah also says, but if you marry multiple women, if you cannot be just and fair between them, then only marry one. And this is better for you that you're not inclined to justice, meaning it is safer for you to marry one, because you won't be unjust. So this reverse is not it mentions polygamy, but in reality is about justice, Allah Subhana Allah is saying that be just that you have to be just that if you that to marry an orphan girl, and be unjust is the height ought to be unjust, then to marry multiple women, if you are unjust and only marry one

and if you can't marry, if you can't be just one wife, then what you win one of the slave women and if you can't be just to her, then you have to fast. So this verse is a beautiful verse. And it also must be understood that at the time this verse came, there was no limit on polygamy. Men married multiple women, they married more than 456 17. And when this verse came down, actually it restricted the men of Arabia that you only allowed for four is the maximum that's the cap, you can't go beyond that. So this actually was it was a new kind of know revolutionary in its time, Allah subhanho wa Taala. Further in the surah, in Surah, Nisa, verse 129, Allah subhanaw taala then further goes on to

say what ends to untidy lubaina Nyssa.

Allah says, You will never ever be able to be fully, fully just and free and equal between multiple lives. Even if you tried really hard, even if it was your best intention to be free, you still will not be 100% free for tamiu cool and mainly Fatah kalamalka. So don't think go to an extreme. So while you won't be able to fully be just to all of them, don't be extreme and leave one of them hanging. Wall locker is a beautiful, beautiful word Yamanaka is something that is attached to his hanging, leaving her to be unsure. Does he love me? Does he care about me? Where do I stand to leave her in that kind of suspense? We're in to see what a taco but if you reform yourself with a taco and

fear and be conscious of Allah, Allah can have a forum Rahim Allah subhanaw taala will forgive and have mercy on you but you need to fix yourself. So in the one verse Allah is saying in a number three of Surah Nisa Allah saying that if you can't be Fei between multiple wives and only marry one, then i a 129, Allah says that you will never ever be totally fake. So how do we understand this? What does it mean? And we understand this beautiful Hadith of the prophets of Salaam way the Prophet would make this do offer himself regularly and report now Buddha wouldn't tell me the in other places, he would say, oh, Allah, this is my division. This is my distribution, regarding the things

I have control over. So don't reprimand me Don't, don't, don't be angry with me with regards to the things that you control. And I don't control what is the process of saying the property saying, but when it comes to dividing my time, dividing my money, dividing my other resources, dividing my attention, I do it equally, I give each one an equal amount of my time. But that's what I can control. As for matters of the heart that I can't control. And therefore what we find is that the matters of the heart is fluctuating today. You know, if we look at parents, for example, we love all our kids equally. But today I'm you know, today, the one child might be very, might be very

difficult today. And tomorrow, the you know, that child is again, the best one, one child may do well in school, and is your your favorite in quotation marks. I mean, that one is the one that's bringing you the most happiness tomorrow, that same child is the one that's giving you the most headaches. And that's the same, of course, for for those in the political political, polygamous marriage. And again, I say I'm not speaking from experience here. But what you understand is obviously today

Sulayman and sumaiya are arguing and you know, they might be very angry with one another. They're not speaking to each other, yet. Sulaiman and his second wife Ayesha, or they are, they are getting on wonderfully. Then tomorrow, the tables have turned and then sumiya is the favorite. So the property is saying, Yeah, Allah when it comes to the things I can control, I've done everything I could to be fair, but for the matters of the heart, you control my heart, so don't hold me accountable for that. And as for the main that are that has taken

More than one wife understand that yes and no one if you can be fair and just and look after multiple women, that is a great reward in that, but it comes at a bigger risk as well. We know that it is one of the major sins, to favor one woman or one of your wives over the other and to make the one feel inferior and to make the one Felisa deliberately in terms of your time distribution, your wealth distribution, this is problematic. And there's even a hadith that mentions how a man who does this will be restricted on kiama lame and paralyzed on one side meaning he inclined to one side so Allah subhana wa tada has made him like that, that on the one side was a wonderful husband, on the

other side, he was a terrible husband. And therefore, this is how we would feel also it must be understood. The only reason why we know these tender soft moments between the Prophet Salam and Asia is because I share with mentioned these moments, the prophets of Salaam he was an affectionate man by nature, and with all of his wives, you would find even other Heidi Salama will mentioned how they would you know, be wrapped together in one blanket. have solid mentioned how he was patient with her even though you know, sometimes she gave him a hard time, all of the lives. They mentioned how happy he made them. I shall Of course went into detail because she was not afraid to narrate this hadith.

So she would tell and she would be a teacher. She would teach Islamic theology, Islamic law Islamic history, she would mention all these things to our students. She even mentioned a private intimate details with the profits are lumped because everything of his life is of course part of our Deen, but of his sooner. So we shouldn't be thinking that this was only the case with Ayesha In fact, this was how he was with all of them. The other wives just kept it to themselves was Ayesha had the courage to actually share these things with with her with the rest of the oma. And as we said for every moment he spent with Ayesha, he spent an equal amount of time with the other wives which every

time it was a journey with Ayesha, of course, it was free, he gave each one an equal opportunity to join him. So these tender moments were with Ayesha and with his with his other wives sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, it must also be understood that I now understand that polygamy is one of those controversial issues in our modern day and age. It's one of those things that we find difficult to explain. It's not the norm, especially for us here in the West. It's not something which is common, especially here in Cape Town or hamdulillah. We have we a society that is very much you know, dominated by very strong women, and only the bravest of us to date three that like to take on

multiple wives. And it's not something that we should become, you know, apologetic or become

very fanatical about understand what is the Sharia say, the Sharia, as I said, it is pragmatic. The Sharia says, you can marry you can be single, if you want to stay single, although it is better for you to get married, to marry one or two, or three or four. That is your prerogative as a man you must decide what is best for your dunya what is best for your era. It is not to say that if you marry more than one, it is better for you. It could be worse for you many multiple ones would actually be the reason you go to Ghana, or it could be the reason you go to China, marrying one woman and treating her badly might be bad for you, it's better for you to be single. So the entity

is Nika is always something subjective. You look at your situation. And you ask yourself, Am I really am I capable of marrying 1am? I capable of marrying two? Can I do it properly? If I can, then go ahead. And if not, then of course, you must do what is just ultimately Allah subhanaw taala will judge us in terms of how just we are. So the issue of polygamy is one of those things that Sharia permits, but does not enforce on anyone. Also, I must mention on this, we find sometimes that brothers tend to blackmail the sisters, they will say you know what, if you don't like polygamy, if you don't want me to marry the second wife, there's something wrong with you questioning Allah

subhanaw taala it's as if you don't like one or you don't like Sora you don't like one of the the essentials of the deen. This is not the case. And this is very wrong. And in fact, it's using the Ayat of Allah incorrectly. None of the wives of the Prophet of Allah ever wanted him to marry more than one life. We find many meditations, we

would be very nervous about women that would approach them because the prophets of Salaam he was being proposed to constantly you'd find women would come and they would say, Rasulullah I give myself to you marry me, you find me, like this session will be very, you know, offended by these kinds of women. So and of course when she would hear that he married, you know, you're trying when he mentioned Salama, we'll talk about that inshallah, in a few days time when he married and she was very upset. She was really sad at that. And that's just a normal thing for a woman to encourage her husband to marry a second wife is not the norm. And therefore for a woman to feel sad about it. This

is how we this is how it is the natural fit. And also something to take very careful note of the daughters of the public

For them, they will never ever shade they will never, they never had to see a husband. The husband's never married second wives Why? out of honor and respect for them because they the daughters have the resources on them. So you find, for example scenario the woman married Fatima, or the other daughter, youngest daughter of Salim. And Cena Alia was thinking about marrying a second wife. And when, of course, when the news came that he you know, he's thinking of marrying a second wife in particular, he was actually wanted to marry

Abu lahab daughter, who was at that point in a staunch enemy of Islam. So the prophets of Salaam spoke to Sally and he said that it is impossible that the daughter of the school and the daughter of the enemy of Allah would be shaped will have this will live under the same house. Also the prophets of Salaam say to say nanny, remember if you do anything to upset Fatima, it upsets me I'm a father, naturally I'll be upset. And if you upset me that Allah subhanho wa Taala becomes upset with you. And if I was upset with you, then basically you destroyed. So the the son, the son in laws of the prophets of Salaam understood that when it came to the wives, it's not how long they allowed to

marry, the Prophet says we could never make her on what Allah has made Hillel. But he understood the risk of marrying a second wife and harming and hurting the feelings of the daughters of the process. alum would put them in bed books through the process. And so they never did that. Only after those only after Fatima passed away, only after he passed away then say North man say nalli, they will marry multiple wives more than one. So this was then became. So this became the practice. So what we see here is nothing wrong for us for a wife, for example, not to want to ask him to marry a singular, it's perfectly normal. It's perfectly human. That's exactly what the Sahaba were like, and

even the mean of the Sahaba. They understood if they married a certain woman, then in honor of her that they only married that one woman. But yes, the Sharia does allow polygamy for our men up to the limit of four if they can be free. And just the question my man might ask, Well, you know, sometimes we think for every permissibility for the men, they must be equal permissibility for the sisters. So is the Sharia not unfair? In allows men to marry multiple wives, but women can only marry one husband? How is that fee? Firstly, I don't think there's a sister that I have met, that is really serious about marrying more than one husband, perhaps is just a philosophical discussion. You know,

why do they get to know us? But I don't think in reality, I found a system that says I have to mean that I really want to marry, what do I do? I don't think we have a situation like that. One is more than enough for them. More than more than they would want actually sometimes. But in the case of more than one hasn't been think about this 1400 years ago, who would be the father if any child would be born from this woman, she has two husbands three husbands who's the father of this child. So paternity would become something completely ruined in a society like that. And of course, therefore, the Sharia has made this haram and if you look at many cultures, polygamy permitted in

many types and cultures across the world, it was actually the norm. Up until recent times, polygamy was something that was normal part of society. And most of the time, as we said, there were no limits to polygamy, the Sharia actually limits it. And remember how many data rahimullah would say there is no religious text on earth that says if you are unfair to multiple wives, they only stick to one. So this is a beautiful thing of the Sharia. The last very controversial question must be said that the prophets of Salaam exceeded the limit of four. So he didn't only marry for he actually had more than four wives at one time when he passed away. So salami actually had nine. So how is

this possible? And why did the laws not apply to him? That's another question. And I think we'll discuss that perhaps on our next next lecture. But it will come up as we go through the series. There's Aquila height. And once again, if you receive these lectures in error, or you're receiving it from multiple sources, then please let us know that we don't want to bombard you and you know, flood your your inbox with these lectures. And if you have any questions, concerns, anything that you'd like further clarity institutions, then email me directly with [email protected]. And also if you have a personal question of personal nature, contact me via my email rather than on the WhatsApp

line. The WhatsApp line of course is a public number. It's the number of the masjid so email me if you have any personal private questions. Thank you so much until we meet again circle of hate salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.