The Women Around the Messenger SAW – Episode 06

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Muhammad West

Channel: Muhammad West

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Topics: Women

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Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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salatu salam ala Sayyidina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi My beloved brothers and sisters in Islam Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh does Allah say thank you so much for joining us this episode six of our series, women around the messenger sallallahu sallam, and a belated eager Mubarak to everyone. That's with us. I hope a Lost Planet Allah bless you and your family with a glorious and wonderful eat. My Allah subhanho wa Taala grant of a judge hajima bowl Hashem abroad, those who are returning home from from the Holy Land from Allah grant them a safe, safe departure and return I mean, Allah subhanaw taala blessed us in the year to come. This being the 12th month of the egeria

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May the New Year, bring only goodness and Baraka to you and your families and to the entire oma at large, and also has Allah bless all of us. I mean, welcome to the law,

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background series women around the messenger sallallahu sallam, we spoke about the the years of of marriage between the Prophet peace be upon him and his beloved wife hydrolysis of Salaam. We spoke about her demise in our last episode, in the saddest moment of the life of the Prophet, peace upon him the injury that we would carry for all of his life. She was 65 years old. He was 50 years old when she passed away. And she was his partner, his confidant, his soulmate, the person who was the dearest to his heart. And at the worst moment to the lowest point in his life was when she had passed away, both from aside from my personal side, of course, but even from the side of the dollar.

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He's his mission in terms of being a prophet was going through the most difficult period, where he was being rejected by his people, when he was being despised, and when his community was going through severe severe persecution, and they really seemed like there was this cloud hanging over the Prophet peace be upon him, and he was going through a deep depression. We mentioned some of the ayah to Allah subhanho wa Taala.

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inshallah, Masha, Allah, you know, st verses to motivate the prophets of Salaam, you know, encouraging him that this difficult period and we'll pass that off to this man also, you saw that video after this difficulty, ease will come that surely Allah promises off the every difficulty, the ease and the conflict will come. So how would this cloud disappear, and we would the profits will go from here, because who could replace Khadija who could really there was no one and even all the other wives of the Prophet peace be upon him, that he would meet many wonderful women, they would come into his life, no one would truly be a Khadija and Felicia was one of a kind. Just a side note

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here too, to make you understand who she was. We've said that all the other wives of the Prophet peace upon him, they would meet, they would meet him often, they would marry him as a prophet, and they would love him and respect him and admire him because of his weakness, but also because he was a messenger of Allah. So Allah Khadija, of course, she she knew him even before his days of prophethood. And she loved him for the man who he was. And she got to know him and see him growing up that's been 25 years together. And we see that they had seven children with each other. So there was this very, very deep bond that they shared. Also, another side note here with the Prophet peace

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be upon him in the current world that we live in. He's regularly insulted. He's regularly criticized for his his his relationships with the number of wives that he had, we should, you know, pause and think for a moment, for the first 25 years of his life. Professor solemn, was a bachelor, he had not interacted with any women, when he met her deja. And then for the next 25 years of his life, he was only with her. I remember once when I was speaking about the advent of Nevada, the the event where the Prophet peace be upon him, received revelation for the very first time. And I mentioned how he ran home to his wife, you know, someone who was new to the dean said, well, which wife did he come

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to? And he said, he only had one wife is only Khadija that up until the age of 50, the Prophet peace of them had only known one woman, he would only live for another 13 years. So it's only in this last 13 years, that really the Prophet peace upon him, would marry multiple wives. And in each wife, we will see, the reason behind it was, you know, was purely for the purpose and for the service of the dean, there was a, a religious reason behind it. And as we go through the series, one of the objectives was to understand why the Prophet peace upon him married each and each of these wives. Without a doubt, when we look at it, Khadija was as we could say, the closest thing that we could

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call a soulmate, and there really is going to be nobody that could truly fulfill, you know, and replace that hole in his heart and throughout his life, you would mention that. So the Prophet peace upon him after the loss of Khadija is going through this deep depression, and the community, the Muslim community, the small group of community that he was leading, they became very concerned about him. And there was this Muslim lady by the name of Hola. She was a matchmaker. So what you would have in Mecca, you would have these

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On TVs that would know who will the single goals or what he did to get married, they would know who all the young men was. So they know the bachelor and the bachelorette, it's, and they would sort of play matchmaker, they would say, you know what, your daughter would be a good match for this son. And she would sort of, she would hook him up, if you will, and follow up today, you know, this, this is something that he still needed, you find many, in many cases, single people are always looking for that right spouse, their perfect spouse, and having someone who has a good idea of the community, maybe it's your mom, maybe it's a family member, who has, you know, knows exactly who the

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single people are in the community, it's a good place to go to find to find a good spouse, you know, as Muslims, courting is not as free and as easy as you find in a modern society. You need to really look and do things appropriately, to find your spouse to find that perfect person that meets all your criteria. And it's good to have any mom or a relative to go to and speak to I know, it's not the easiest thing. It's very awkward. But perhaps this is something that we should relook at. So in the McCain community and Islamic community, you had these matchmakers and they would suggest who the appropriate, you know, person would be the best person for you. Maybe it's like a Facebook, you

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know, 1000 year one and a half, 1000 years, Facebook, back in the day. So this lady Hola, this Matchmaker, she comes to the Prophet salsola, after a couple of months have passed after the death of Khadija, and she's used to that and be so solemn, that the Allahu Allah she was a believer, and she says to me out of law, it's time that you move on, basically, yes, you can never ever replace Khadija. But you need to basically move on in terms of you need an A wife, you need someone that's going to share this burden that you are currently, you know, you know, you're abating this burden, and it's too much for you, everyone can see that you are struggling at home At home, your house is

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empty, it's it's like a cemetery, it's your whole house is in mourning, and you're struggling on the outside, you need a change. And I suggest that you remarry. And you know, the Prophet peace upon him is very reluctant, because in his heart, there's no one lady that can that can, you know, ever come close to her deja? So wholeness is here Rasulullah sallallahu sallam, I actually have already two women in mind. They're two women, I can suggest for you to marry you choose. So he says to her, Well, who are these two women that you have in mind? So she says I have an older woman, a mature woman, a senior woman, a woman that has been married a woman that knows how to be a wife. And I have

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a young virgin girl that has never been married yet. She has just recently become mature. She's ready for marriage. Which of the two would you prefer? So he says, tell me more about each Wednesday said as for the oldest senior woman, the is the sister so that been summer. So there have been a man who was about the age of the processor level even older, she was about 5355 years old, a very mature woman, then as for the younger girl, she said the daughter of abubaker eyeshadow on her, she's ready to be married. So which of the two would you prefer? Now, if we were to pause for a second, and we were to think if you were in the shoes of the professor, you have on the one hand, so there was a a

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very, very senior woman we couldn't, you know, actually an old woman, she was perhaps a grandmother at this point in time, we'll get to know that she was a very large, plump woman. And yeah, you have Ayesha, who is a very beautiful woman. She's just you know, in the, in the, in the height of a youth, she's now ready to get married. Who would we think though, would be the best match for the province or lamb? In his current situation? Which kind of life does he need? Now, when we watch, you know, in the 21st century, that we live in our idea of, of marriage and what a marriage should be? Sometimes it's not. It's not. It's not accurate, not not real. We, you know, we imagined falling in

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love finding, you know, we find the right partner and we fall in love, and it's all romance. And it's all about, it's about being in this wave of bliss and happiness, in reality, and Islam is very pragmatic. Islam is very realistic in terms of why people get married, people get married for a number of different reasons, you know, partly to find companionship, partly to find love. Sometimes it's for financial support. Sometimes it's for physical needs, whatever it might be Islam, Islam is very broad, and says, You, you know, wherever you are in your life, whatever your priorities are, you can get married both men and women, for the things that you need, and you find many Subhanallah,

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as a new mom, you find, you know, men and women come to you and they say, Look, I'm single, and currently, maybe a woman says, I'm devoted to my career. I'm a career woman. My career is my priority. But I'm also lonely, but and I also would love to have a partner, but I can't be a full time in inverted commas. I can't be a full time wife. I wouldn't mind having a husband that is basically with me on weekends. And he doesn't have to support me as he needs to support another wife. I can support myself, but I'd like to

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companionship. Is this permissible, of course, it's permissible, you know, if you find someone was on the same page as you in the same wavelength, and this is fine. So Islam is a very pragmatic, it's very, it's very understanding to the needs of people and you get married according to your own terms. Islam basically says people are mature enough to make their own decisions. These are the parameters of what's halal and haram. Within that parameter, you can set your own rules and terms in terms in how you'd like to be married. So now when we go back to the prophet SAW Selim, what does he need from a bride? Does he need a young blushing, cute, Ayesha? Or does he need a senior mature,

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strong woman that is going to basically hit the ground running knows exactly how to be a wife. Of course, he needs a soda. This is a very, very strong argument against those that says the Prophet peace upon him married for lustful reasons, the prophets of Salaam has the choice between two women. And he chooses the one that we would say, you know, clearly I say was the more attractive of the two. And he chooses soda for reasons that were far more important than just physical appearance. So he says, to hold up, go to soda. And, and mentioned me to her and tell her that I'm keen on Getting married is she interested in getting married. So now, who is sewed up in December, our mother sewed

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up in December, as we should, she was about two, three years older than the processor lump she was anywhere between 50 and 55. At this point in time, she had been one of the early women that embraced Islam, one of the early converts, and she had been married to a man called saccharin, like many of the early reverts are those who embrace Islam early on, they have a high prestige. Allah mentions them in the Quran, the Saudi code and a one on the very, very best people of his former, the very best of Sahaba are those who embraced Islam early on. And so that was one of those early group of believers. And she went through the persecution like many of the of the Sahaba, as well. So her

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husband and her were embraced Islam. They had left Mecca, and they had gone to a senior, you know, some of the books of history even mentioned, that soda had had been the first woman, nearly the first batch of people she was the first woman to actually leave Makkah for the sake of Islam. So a very, very pious woman and devout woman for the sake of the deen. And as we said, she was very advanced in her in her years, she was if we were to imagine her. And as I said, it will be very good for you to have an idea of each wife. And as we said, they all had their own personality. They look different. They had their own style and their own ways of doing it to show you that these are the

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best women, but not all of them were identical. But ej is a very unique character. She's strong, she's confident, she's witty, she's, she's intelligent. She's, she goes for the things that she wants. So doubt, what is she like? So from a physical aspect, so that is a very large woman. She's a big woman. She was of all the wives of the Prophet, and then she was the largest of all, she was really tall. And she was also very plump. She was a bit chubby, and she was around woman. And we said that she was basically a grandmother. She had met soccer and her husband had passed away recently, she had finished the EDA, she, you know, marriage was the furthest thing from her mind.

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She was loving, she had returned to Makkah. And she was living with her a very old father, Zama gruff, old man. And she really didn't imagine that she would she would ever marry again, she thought that those years will fall behind beyond. I mean, even in today's day and age, a woman that is around 55 years old, is not expected that she would marry again in the society 55 was close to when you basically passed away you very senior in yours.

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In terms of a personality, our mother, mother soda was, is described as being this warm, jolly, deeply affectionate woman. You imagine her as those that this you know, we have these Auntie's in our life, that is always in a good mood, always in good spirits. And her whole outlook in life is to be is to support the people around her. She's always making sure is everyone fit? Is everyone warm? Is what can she do to make everyone else comfortable, she has so much love inside of her. And that all she wants to do is to share that love that warmth with everybody else. So the mother sewed out on the lawn. Hmm. If we were to say outlook in life, she was a woman that was very happy and

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comfortable. Being in our home, looking after her family, she was very comfortable. Being that domestic lady, being in the kitchen scene to the chores and the needs of the family. That's exactly who she was, and hamdulillah nothing wrong with it. So in our in our modern day, and he would be like the number one housewife, if you would, the homemaker and not like she's very different to Khadija. But each one has its own strengths. And each one is loved and cherished in our Sharia today. You know, when we say a woman, he says, I'm just a housewife. We it's almost as if though there's something missing in that nothing wrong in being a woman that is is devoted to the needs of

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the family. And many of us have

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When we grew up, it was either a grandmother or a mother, when Auntie that really, you know, took the slack of the entire family, they would be the ones that would fix the kids from school, they would be the ones to make sure that everyone else was was seen to. And we find today, when many of our young women, you know, are working in their career focus, that that's one of the areas that is very, very difficult to find, to find someone that is able to keep the family together, and every family needs a woman like soda. So these women in our society, they go, they go unbanked, they go unmentioned, it seems as if though they are they don't contribute, when in reality, most of us if

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not all of us, have, we have a mother went on to a grandmother that did so much for us as we grew up, that we are that we stand on the shoulders to move forward. And so we really salute these women that really keep our family are the glue that keeps our families together. So that is exactly that person. So she comes to the professor of life. This is the perfect person to really enter his life in where he is right now. So hola goes to soda. And she mentioned this to,

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to soda, she says, soda, I've got some good news for you. So this is what is this good news that you bring me. So she says, I have a proposal from the Prophet sallallahu sallam, he's keen on marrying you. And so now mother is quite shocked. And she you know, as mature as she is actually still, you know, when you I want you to imagine she's just a very sensitive soft woman as well. You'd find later on in life, many of the other wives soda would be you know, they would they would they would, you know, tease with her. And she'd be a very soft, easily a woman that is easily get shy, she easily gets embarrassed, he easily gets scared you so this is her outlook. So when she hears that

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the proximity is interested in marrying as she like, she begins to like giggle and she she's I can't imagine Is he really interested in marrying me? Are you sure Hola. Don't you know? You're making a joke? And she says No, I'm serious. The Prophet peace upon him, has asked if you would be keen on marrying him? And she says yes, I would like that very much. But you know, awesome. My dad. So even like, she's in a 50s. And she's still like a young girl. She says, Ask my father what he thinks about it. And when this old man hears about it, he's also happy with a proposal. He says, that's a good match. Mohammed is a is a respected man. And if she wants to marry him, then I give my

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blessing. So the prophets of Allah marisota in the the year after, you know, a few months following the death of Anita is about 50 years old. She's around 55 years old. And immediately she takes up the responsibilities of his household Nietzsche enters his house, and she brings about many changes in his house, he, he moves that cloud that had been settled, after the death of her deja, she takes charge of his of his daughters that have not been married Fatima, and Uncle Tom that are in the house, she tells the profit, social and basically, all your domestic worries and needs. You don't have to worry about that I am here, whatever you need, I will support you as best I can. And you

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know, she even went beyond just being that housewife support. She would try her best to bring the professor love happiness and bring him joy and comfort. So I should mention that soda had a very jolly side. She was fond of laughing and making other people laugh. And one day the prophets of Salaam comes home after giving Dawa. So he's out in the streets, calling people to Islam. He obviously had a tough day he comes home and he's and he's quite depressed. He is this. He said, He's still physically grieving, and emotionally grieving. And so soda wants to make her husband happy. So she says to the prophet SAW Selim jasola. I have I'd like to tell you something funny. So he says,

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What is this thing you want to tell me? This is you know, last night, as is your custom you woke up to form dadgad, a prophet side note to the Prophet sallam, he always had to perform dadgad there are certain laws are certain rules which apply to the prophets of Salaam, a personally one of those rules was that he always had to make the habit every single night without exception. So he would go and you'd make gadget on his own. So he says, when you get up with the hatchet I want, I don't know if you noticed, but I stood behind you. I also wanted to make Salah with you. And when the prophets of Allah would make the hatchet he would really stand long hours and hours and Salah, this was his

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own personal ubaidah. And he would stand for many hours that he said, I deserve that I deserve and he would be a little cuckoo for a long time. So she said when you went into the pool, and you will making a call for so long, you know, I felt like my nose was about to bleed. So I had to while I was painting. I was holding my nose to keep it and so she was Could you imagine me standing the in ruku holding my nose waiting for you to come from medical properties. And I didn't even realize that she was there. And when when she tells him the story and she shows him basically as she was standing, he burst out laughing across the lambs mood had changed. And this is the kind of woman she was I would

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say about soda, that of all the women of prophets of Allah, all the wives of the Prophet Allah. The woman's

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she admires the most the woman that she really wishes she could be like, what soda, because she would say that soda had such a clean, innocent, pure heart that she was loving and caring for everyone she put the the needs of others, even her co wives later on would see she put them above the needs above her own. And she was always simply trying to please everyone around them. What a great woman that she was. So she enters the household of the salon, and she really brings about changes and makes brings peace and comfort to the salon. She's another to his daughters, she's likely second mother, she basically raises them after the death of Maria. So another few years go by

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and these are the worst years of persecution the next three years until Allah subhanaw taala grants that the Muslims now can perform hegira So from an Islamic history, we would know that the Prophet peace upon him would spend 13 years in Mecca, preaching, calling into Islam after the death of Khadija 10 years and then three years would go by and now would become the what we call the hegira. The migration where the people the Muslim community would leave Makkah and they would go to Medina, the Prophet peace upon him, leaves Mecca, and he has to leave very secretly because the Qureshi had made up their mind to assassinate him. So he leaves Makkah along with his very close friend Abu

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Bakar of the line. The two of them leave secretly, they alone they leave their families behind, and they escaped to Medina when hamdulillah Meanwhile, back in Mecca, soda and the household of the prophets of the lamp, Fatima and Uncle whom are escorted to Medina with the help of Zaid and Elliot on the line. And soda being an old woman, being a very senior woman she was she found traveling very difficult. I she tells us that when they traveled on the hegira, soda had to wait and she had to every you know, half an hour every hour of traveling she had to risk she couldn't travel. It was really difficult on her so I mother soda. In this age, she performed her hegira she was close to a

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60 or 80. And she performance 100 our hamdulillah also something we learn about soda, mother soda, something very irrelevant to hedge. We would know that if you want hedge after the day of alpha, you would go to his deli for the evening. So off the market on alpha, alpha is done. You go to alpha, you stable, steady firm, ideally all the way to Pfizer, you stay from Missouri, until Pfizer at Mr. Alpha. And this is what the prophet Sam did. However, we know from our mother soda, she was now quite a senior woman This was almost close to her 70s when she performed Hajj with the Prophet sallallahu sallam, she basically asked the Prophet peace upon him for permission to leave Muslim

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early, maybe around two, three o'clock the morning before fudger. She says Can I can I leave and avoid the the traffic jam, avoid the drama, The crowding, see if I can, if I can get a head start, then I can finish my rituals easily. So I show again. And we'll get to speak about how she knows all about these issues always in the company of soda. She says that so soda asked for permission to leave. And the Prophet peace upon gave her that permission. And this is a rasa, this is a allowance because of soda. The entire oma from from the time of the problem until the end of time. Women and children the old those who are accompanying them have an A leeway to leave early to leave to study

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for early in the evening. You have to spend at least until 12 o'clock the night until midnight, you need to stay there. But you have a you can leave before 5pm This is a great blessing brought about by soda, I should say is that you know when she when soda asked for this permission, soda the Prophet gave Sodor the agreement and those who followed with her and she says you know, she will get to know is personality. She's very fiery. She's very confident. She's very energetic. She says Now I want you to stay until budget and I stayed until budget but I regretted I should have gone with soda because it was was was way more difficult. I should have gone with soda. So then you beta. So this

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is another soda. Another rule that we learned from soda. Something which is very controversial in our in our in our modern day is the ruling of hijab. It's mentioned that the hijab the rules of hijab, they weren't the originally but the law came down to Allah subhana wa tada on account of soda, the issue of hijab as we see it as a controversial issue, you find even some modern thinkers saying that in the Quran, you don't even find hijab being applicable to the women, they will say if you open the Koran, you only find one verse in the Quran, which speaks about hijab, a woman having to practice hijab, and this only applies to the lives of the prophets of Salaam. And we will say

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yes, if we read the ayah they are hundreds 100% correct in what they're saying. But what they are trying to actually achieve by this is falsehood is not the truth. And we'll explain why. Why this is in our next episode in sha Allah. So we'll talk about hijab, what is hijab? What is the rulings from the Quran? What are the difference opinions and we'll discuss this in detail inshallah. Allah for bidding your time with us for this episode. If you

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Have any comments or concerns you can email me directly on whisper [email protected] and you can respond in Charlotte to our WhatsApp line. Please feel free to let us know what you think just like I said I want to come up with a lie but it got to