Gender Series #4 – How to make him love you

The hours below which Thorazine is below men are human and the layer of light. I mean, also that was cinema shopping was an insane I'm having one early he was a marine. My beloved brothers and sisters in Sonoma Sonoma Lake Mark la he was going to go to Alhamdulilah blood, I mean, always We will begin with the praise of Allah subhanaw taala and the Chateau La ilaha illa Allah, we will witness and testify that man has the right to worship because the last panel data and we send our love and greetings and salutations. So we left with every Mohammed solorio, sell them despise and your family to Sahaba. And to all those who follow you soon until the end of time. My last panel data list has

to be on the tsunami Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam in this life and in his companionship in the asherah. Meanwhile, hamdulillah Alhamdulillah we begin with very good news, very happy to announce that insha Allah today, the 11th of September 2020 will be the reopening of mercy Burano Islam Alhamdulillah. It's been so long that we've been away from the masjid. And it is with great joy that we can give this announcement of course, it will be limited due to the restrictions still being way only 50 people are allowed to attend. And there is a register that one would have to fill out to ensure that you can secure your place. Also there will be limitations in terms of those who are of a

certain age or those who are ill

advised of course not within the masjid. And for those who are going to attend the mostly just be in mind that it is going to be a very short procedure because we want to limit the amount of time that we're in them in the machine because of it's a confined space and having too many people in there is a risk. And so we will have a very short preju moi talk from around quarter to 112 45 waiting for the walk of joy to come in. We'll have the Adobe hooked by at about one o'clock and hope to conclude the gemasolar by quarter past one so the entire program should not be more than half an hour. For those who will be attending, of course, you will have to register online and you would be required

to come to the masjid with a mosque to have with you to have socks on and bring your own masala with bring a bag as well for your shoes to be kept. And insha Allah we pray that Allah subhanaw taala grants that things that the mercy will be fully open very soon, and that all the mosques of the world will be open. I mean, when hamdulillah we continue with our series, and we've been doing a series on the Rights of Women and Gender related matters for the past month or so. And last week, we spoke about how husbands should aspire to be similar to the Navy so Salaam to aspire to be like that prophetic husband to try to be the perfect husband to make his wife, the happiest woman in the

world. And when I gave that lecture, I actually received a lot of feedback from from the brothers. Usually I don't get too many comments from the brothers of the lecture. Most of the times it's the sisters who either agree or disagree with something or voiced their concerns, but also quite surprised and pleasantly surprised that, you know, many other bloggers responded. And they said, when do we ever get to hear a good bit about how the wind should treat their husbands and how much more effort they should also put in, in making the marriage better. And Alhamdulillah. You know, if you look at the verses of the Quran, when Allah subhanaw taala speaks to the husbands in the same IR

on the IR often Allah Subhana Allah speaks to the wives. And this is the way in which the Sharia is always balanced. Allah subhanaw taala advises both men and women, Allah subhanaw taala gives the rights and duties to both men and women and husband and wife. It's not just one side, it is both sides that make a marriage work and both sides need to be addressed. And so while this focus was of course, on the rights of the sisters in sha Allah will just balance loss rich with, with something for the wives and something that they can aspire to be, and how can she make her husband love her more? And how can she make her husband, the happiest husband in the world and this really be

something that we aspire, we begin with the idea last week when we set a last part that I mentioned, Angelica, when Mona Lisa, Allah says that mean, your manliness, or what is required of you is to make a woman of your women to care for them, to look after them, to safeguard them, to maintain them all those wonderful things. Allah says a true man, that is how he treats a woman. Now in that same eye, Allah continues analysis for solly had to call it out in half with all too little labor in my heart for the law that Allah says a good man case for his women. And then Allah Spangler says, and similarly, a righteous woman, a good woman, she is one who is on Eternity is devoutly obedient, she

is very, very devoted, both to Allah subhanaw taala and her husband and her marriage, so she is devoted to obeying almost panatela and devoted to her marriage into her husband. And she predicts that which Allah has commanded her to protect in the absence of her husband, that she gods that which is required of her to be predicted when a husband is not there, since we're a mess up in Surah, Baqarah, Allah span dialysis, and due to two wives is similar, what is expected of them. So Allah says that there are certain expectations upon wives that there are certain things she needs to provoke. But there are also certain things that she is entitled to, according to what is reasonable.

And this behind Allah is how a lot of other black balances, rights and duties and it's

The important point to note here, very important for us to understand that mccahon Islam has two sides to it, it is a legal contract. And it's a sacrament. What does this mean? That nicca is a contract, where you have obligations and you have rights and your responsibilities, the same like your contract with your with your work, your employment contract, the mechanic that fixes your car is a contract, you need to give him something and he gives you something in return. So there is a legal contract that is in place. Of course, the car is not just a barter transaction, it is not just a legal document. Rather, it is something a, a spiritual and emotional union of two people. And so a

higher level purpose of nikka is the coming together of two individuals. But at the very basic level, it is a contract, and neither party should break that contract. So when you enter into any car, it is important for you to understand when I sign up to be a wife, I sign up to be a husband, what is required of me to do in this contract, and what should I fulfill and what do I get out of the deal. Now many times when a marriage is falling apart, the first thing they do is they run to the Imam and they say, Imam, what are my rights as a wife, Chef, what is my heart as a husband, and no one here is concerned about the Sharia. And when he wants to have a Sharia Listen, rather,

they're basically trying to get the views of what is owed to them in the nikka. And if the marriage caters to the level, where it is purely my rights as a wife, my rights as a husband, then we don't have a marriage anymore, we have a transaction. So as long as the basics of the Nika contract is not violated, then this marriage, the no one is sinful. But of course, you're not achieving the higher levels of nicaea. So Allah says here, that to the lives you have similar rights, as is expected of you have rights, as you have certain rights, that you are owed Yasmin, according to what is reasonable with my roof, Allah uses the word metamodel. What is within limits, when someone says to

the husband, like your obligation in marriage, Hume, when you get married to a woman, you take on the burden of financial maintenance, you have to maintain her financially and physically and emotionally? What is it within the reasons within limits within what is acceptable? And then Allah says further, but the main have a degree over them, the main have up whenever the God that I hit Allah Hinata, Allah says, but as as women have rights and obligations may have a greater degree of responsibility. And Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise, Allah says, and I'm all knowing and all powerful, I know what is right. And I know what is just and I know what is free. So Allah subhanaw

taala, in this verse shows that both sides husbands and wives have a role to play. Both husbands and wives have rights, and they have duties. And we're not going to talk about the rights and duties of wives and husbands. This is for a, a marriage, a clause, but certain, certain points to put into, how do I aspire to be the best wife. So last week, we spoke about a husband aspiring to be the best husband, not just giving the basics much as giving what is the absolute minimum, we don't want to do that. We don't want to be that kind of husband. We want to be the best husband and Subhanallah you know, we live in a time where you are told you know when you work, be the best employee when you

are, you know, in the gym, work out to the best of your ability, you know, fulfill your dreams chase off the really be ambitious when it comes to our marriages. No one tells you be the best wife or the best husband, that devote yourself to your partner devote yourself to marriage is almost

backwards. When people speak like that. Or another Shetty I say everything you need to be perfect in everything that you do. So of all of the things that are the most important after the after being perfect as a worshiper to Allah subhanaw taala make your effort to be the best husband and the best wife. And so last week we spoke about husbands we compared what the Nagisa Salam was as a husband, and so that we can emulate you sooner. Similarly, sisters, they are advices they'll be some gifts to you how to be the best wife, not only for the sake of your husband, this is not just to please Him, or all it is to please Allah subhanaw taala like we said, in Islam, you every one of us have to be

submissive, obedient, devoted, not to our partners, but to Allah subhanho wa Taala the prophets of Solomon says, Would you like me to tell you about the best treasure a man could have? What is the best thing a man could have in this dunya and so the Prophet says, the best treasure the best nehama the greatest blessing a person can have is a woman that is a righteous a good woman, a pious woman doesn't mean that she makes the 100 and she fasts every Monday, Thursday only doesn't righteousness is not only about the ritualistic evader, she has good character, she's caring, she has good manners, she she is a good person. So the process is the best thing you can have is a righteous

woman who and he explains further now what this woman is like she pleases him when he looks at her. She is physically pleasing.

To him, when he is in contact with her, she makes him happy. So So Panama systems just from this one piece of advice within a resource I love. He says a good wife is one that makes her husband happy whenever he comes in contact with that, no matter how difficult things are at work, no matter how hectic things are in his life, he just needs to look at you. He doesn't even need to speak to you. He just looks at you. And you make him happy, you put a smile on his face. If he and when he does interact with you, you take away his problems. He stresses this out. Of course, sometimes this won't come naturally. This is the effort that we put into please our partner. And so profit associates the

best wife is the one. When you look at her she makes you happy. She preserves his honor. When he's away. She's loyal to him even in his absence, and acts in accordance to what he asks of her that he also covers for something if he needs her assistance, she's very compliant to assist him. In another Hadith. The Prophet Allah says the best benefit a believer has off the taqwa of Allah. Of course, taqwa is the best thing that you can have off the taqwa. The next best thing one can have is a pious wife, who mines what he bids, that she fulfills whatever obligations within reason that he puts upon him. And he she is pleasing to Him when He looks at her, and she helps him fulfill his oath and

protects his charity and his property. In his absence of a similar idea. Again, very simple things, not simple things. But the comprehensive advice that I always say that whenever he needs her to help him, she's there to help him. She supports him, and she makes him happy, he takes away he stresses. This is the basis of women, the best teacher, a man can have. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam the prophets of Salaam also says and he's asked about Abu hurayrah, or messenger of Allah, what type of wife is best if I need to get married? What kind of girl should I marry? What kind of woman should I marry? So the NaVi system again, he says, the one who makes him happy when he looks

at her. So this is also a physical thing that you marry someone where you find attractive and marry someone that no matter. You know, as time goes by, when you look at her, she makes you happy that there is compatibility between you that there is genuine happiness in one another. And she obeys him if he instructs her to do something, again, within limits. And this word obey Him is a very difficult word. And, you know, I'm very cautious when I use this word. today. It's very unpopular to say that a wife needs to obey her husband. What does this mean? SubhanAllah. In Islam, there are many levels of obedience, this absolute obedience to Allah subhanaw taala without any without any

limits, not any questions and obedience to the sooner then is obedience to rulers, you leaders, you obedience to those who have authority over you. You need to obey your boss, for example, you need to obey the government, you need to obey your parents, you need to obey. Here your landlord if you're renting some way, husband rasma needs to obey the wife in things which she is in control of. And the wife needs to obey your husband as well in things which he is, which he is in charge of. And so the Sharia, as a Sharia is wise in this way that it puts little levels of, of commitment that you have to one another. So remember, as we see that as you entered in a Nika contract, there are certain

obligations upon you as a wife, and in those things, that if there is a certain requirement of you, a wife, the prophets will say that she fulfills these obligations as a wife, and she does not do anything that Heidi continues to remember abou rhinoceros hula, what is the best type of wife that I could have. And so he says the best wife is the one who is pleasing to look at. When the husband sees her he makes she makes him happy than when he asked her to do something she's very quick in in assisting him, that she does not do anything with regards to herself, or his or his wealth in a manner which he does not approve of. And she doesn't do anything to upset him with regard to

herself, her own person, or he all his wealth in his in his or his wealth, his family. In his absence. Those apana lovers, Heidi degenerated enamored, again, some of these Hadeeth some of these verses might feel out of step in our modern day. And similarly, as we said last week, we are if they are Hadith, which are for our benefit, we as Muslims, we say even though what we learn from, you know, 20,002 1021 is being preached in certain parts of the world. This is not what we take our Deen from the guidance we take is from Allah subhanaw taala. And also, and this is for our own benefit in the dunya and the Africa, there are certain verses that might not be popular when it comes to mean,

why should I provide for her even if she's wealthier than me? Why should she be able to take from my bank account without my permission, but this is what's panela the problem, some advisors and so we have some unauthorized we're here and we obey we this is what they're also solemn has has advised and what Allah has given her in terms of her rights, then we accept that this is for our own benefit. And similarly, there are certain advices to our sisters that is not popular that we see in western Western ideology, but this is we take our Deen from the Quran and the Sunnah. And so yeah, the

properties, giving our sisters a very, very good advice. If you want to be the best woman, remember, you don't, you know, it's an aspirational thing. But yes, last week we spoke about the husband trying to aspire to be like the lava lamp, if you don't achieve that level, at least to the basics as a husband, similarly, our sisters, if you cannot live up to this level of of what the Navy some is advising, then at least to not be short in any of the obligations.

The promise of Solomon says in another Hadith, shall I not tell you about the women who have earned agenda, the agenda, it is the women of the dunya, who earn What did she do to earn the agenda, and it's very, it's a very beautiful way he put it forward, whatever you do, to please your husband. Think of it not as a sense of I'm obeying or submitting to him, I am submitting to Allah subhanaw taala I'm doing this for the pleasure of Allah so that I might attain my agenda. In the end, just as Allah commands us to do certain things, which are maybe not so easy wake up, you know, you know, before before sunrise in the morning to make

to make fudger Salah, not the easiest things to do to foster a month in the year, not the easiest things to do, but we do it because Allah has commanded us from us. And we know that this is why our own benefit in the long term. And so the Prophet is saying to our sisters, do you want to know which women which wives have attained gender? So they say yes, Yasser Allah, the Prophet says, she is a woman that is loving and intimate with her husband, she's very loving and affectionate with her husband. If she gets angry, she gets upset, whether he was hurt, he is very beautiful. Meaning if she could, she got upset with it because of him or from some other reason, but she's in a bad mood.

Or she is mistreated, meaning the husband did something wrong to upset her. Or even less than that. The husband he is angry, something she didn't do he but he's in a bad mood. So If ever a woman you know, prophecy, a the women of Gemini are those who are loving, they are intimate, they're affectionate to the husbands. We even when she gets angry, or when he is angry, or if he did something to mistreat her. Then she goes to him, what does she do? How does she respond to this? She says, Here is my hand in your hand, she takes his hand and she places her hand in his hand and she says, I will not sleep until you are you are pleased until this issue of ours is resolved. Now

again, this Heidi's in a tub Ronnie, the problem is advising that this is a quality, which will endear her to Allah subhanho wa Taala. Allah will love her for this, that she is the first one to give in to say, let's let's have some kind of surah between us. Now we understand this concept outside of marriage. When two brothers fight, we understand that the best of them is the one who apologizes first, even if he was right, when they are two employees that have an issue, the best of them is the one who makes peace. Why do we not understand the same when it comes to marriage that even osis that we say is saying if you are angry, if you are mistreated, you are wrong. You will be

the better one if you go and you be affectionate and loving. And of course it is natural for a man when his wife was affectionate to him and she's loving to him and she gives him that sweet smile. You know, all the resistance melts away in her laughs He gives him very his becomes very, very compliant. And so the province is saying this is the best. These are the kind of women that have that have earned Jana now, we we want to highlight a few Heidi's the number of Hadeeth that are problematic or awkward to discussing each one to Pamela has great wisdom in them. I've taken to a Hadeeth for the sisters, that when they use Heidi they become very apprehensive. But for us to

understand the ethos and the way in which Islam frames husband and wife relations. This is Heidi with a profitable says that if a man calls his wife to his bed, right for intimacy, and she refuses, and he is angry with her and he stays angry with her throughout the night in the angels will curse her until the morning now. So we'll give us an audio, you know, Akhmad calls sumaiya for intimacy is in the mood to be intimate with her. She's either upset with him, she is maybe not in the mood. She's tired for us whatever it might be. And she says No, I'm not. I'm not in the mood for that. And she rejects him. And so he's frustrated and he's angry. While she's doing that she is sinful until

the morning. Now many women look at this as for HANA law, why must I be punished for something that if I'm male intimacy should be something I'm in the mood for? And if I'm not in the mood for them, how does Why must I be punished for something I'm not in the mood for and so understand this Hadeeth and understand the beyond the Hadeeth the the methodology of marriage in the Sharia, as we said at the beginning of his lecture, that when you sign up for any car, when you sign up to be a wife, as a husband, you sign up for search, you commit to certain things, and you are required to perform those obligations, whether you like it or not.

Like let's think of it like your job contract. Maybe today you and your boss had some argument and you really really don't want to see your boss. You know you

are completely upset with him, it does not give you a reason not to come to work tomorrow, you have to fulfill that duty, whether you're happy, or you're not happy, because you have a contract and you are committed to that contract, so long as you're able to fulfill the contract, if you're sick, if you're unable to, that's a different story. But for you not to be happy with it, for you not to be in the best frame of mind is not an excuse not to comply. Similarly, this applies to the husband as well. Many times husbands come to the Imam. And he says, I've moved out of the house. Why? Because I had some issue with the wife, we argued, and I'm not happy with her. So I've moved out, and I've

stopped paying maintenance, I've stopped paying the rent, she's nice to survive on our own. When do we say to him, we say, brother, this is how long that you need to maintain your wife, so long as she's your wife with it. So long as she hasn't done something like cheating on you, she hasn't gone beyond the limits of the nikka. If she is your wife, then your duty as a husband remains whether you're happy or not happy with it, that does not absolve you of your duty. And similarly, the Sharia is saying that here that you as a wife, you have a responsibility when you sign up, have intimacy with your husband. And also also, when you sign up as a wife, you have the you have the right of

intimacy, meaning this Hadeeth goes both ways. In a very strange scenario, maybe with a wife calls the husband to be intimate, and he says I'm tired, I'm frustrated, I have a bad day at work, I'm not in the mood, and he rejects her. And she is upset when he's sinful as well as panela. This goes both ways, and some handle as an Imam, which is very strangely, I have experienced many times, in fact, more so will you find the wife being physically unsatisfied with her husband, and we save into the husband? Yes, we sympathize with you that you are tired, you have some issues, you are under stress, but you have a duty to do what you signed up to be a husband. And so you need to fulfill your

obligations as well. So what this hadith is telling us that whether you are happy or not happy, it's not just about the intimacy of the heart, it is saying whether you are happy with your spouse, or not happy with your spouse, your duties as a wife, as a husband, any means because your husband has done something to you, and he might be at fault does not give you the right to withhold your duty your responsibilities as a wife, and similarly vice versa to the husband. Also a side note here, there is this issue of marital Eric, where husbands forced themselves upon the wives, even though she says no, he insists and he forces, the Hadeeth says if she rejects you, then you go to bed. If

you're angry with her, then she is sinful by does not give you the right to force yourself upon her. You just leave us who had a lot. And also there is some great wisdom in this hadith. Remember that we live in a time full of fitna all around you is fitna all around you is temptations and invitations to be haram to do to enter into a haram relationship. Allah subhanho wa Taala has drawn a circle around you and your wife, you and your husband say the two of you might do whatever you please, so long as within the circle only with each other, you have this unique relationship that this aspect of intimacy may only be fulfilled by your husband or your wife. And so if you are not

fulfilling the needs of your wife, or you're not fulfilling the needs of your husband, and these all this temptation around you, it's a recipe for disaster. And so the promises alum is advising wives, but of course it also applies to the husband. And even if you are upset with one another, do not let that translate to you not doing your duties as a wife, or as a husband. Another very awkward Hadeeth another honey just as much as we speak to the husbands and we say to them things that might be what they like to hear, but they need to hear it. This is also a hadith to our sisters might not be something that you want to hear. But it is from the words of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam.

And so there is only obedience in that the we know the very, very famous hadith of why they do the job and why there will be a lot one of the great Sahaba he comes from Syria. And he so he's been away from that of Islam for some time. He was traveling in Syria. And now he comes back to Medina and of course he listed Ibiza Salam so much. And so when he comes to the levee system to greet him after returning from from from Syria, he falls down in suju. He makes you do it before the Beatles on them. He falls down in surgery. So the postal alarm system Oh my god, what is this? What are you doing? We don't make you do to one another? Why are you making this to do to me and some other

nuances. When I was in Syria, I saw the the the the disciple the people they made to do to the priests, the the worshipers the Christians were made to do today, they bow down to the priests and you are more befitting to receive this and so I wanted to honor you in this manner. So the sujood wasn't sujood of love of honor of admiration. I want you know if the priests get to be bowed before the use of all people should be bowed before and so look at the advice of the enemies of Solomon this shows you that he the Prophet sallallahu Sallam the shows you his objectives was not to himself, but for the

the worship of Allah subhanaw taala. And he also gives a very great advice to husbands and wives, then obviously, they insist wives do not do that. Don't ever do this again. And had it been if I were able to command If ever I commanded one person to prostrate to another person, then I would have commanded wives do prostrate to their husbands. And he continues the process by Allah I swaybar, the one in whose hand is my soul, I swear by Allah, that no woman can fulfill her duty towards Allah until she fulfills her duty towards Hi, her husband, as this how do you think in very big holidays, explain what's going on here. So I've comes he makes to do that. I mean, some of the

businesses don't do this don't make suggests to me, no one should be prostrated before, besides Allah, not even the resources, a lamp should be bowed before only Allah has the right of sujood. But then he goes further. And he says all of them, that if anyone have had the honor, and would be loved and admired and be devoted, so much, we should ever be a relationship between two human beings, where one admires and loves and is so devoted to another unit human being, I would want this to be wives making sure do to the husbands, but of course, then obviously not come on that. And so, somehow a lot, the point of this is say, look at was his emotional state when he made suits that he

loves and admires, and is so devoted to the reason I want to bow before him than me something he said, he say, I wish the wives or wives had that level of devotion towards the husbands. And they felt that if we could, we'd want to make sure you'd be for our husbands. Of course, we do not make sudo to one another. But this is the level of admiration and devotion that Visa Services, I wish we had that if you were to command one person, it will be a wife to her husband. Now again, if we return this Hadith, many times I say that if this hadith was the prophecies, if even one person were to bow to another, I would command a child to bow to with his mother or her mother, they no one

would have a problem with the Hadith. But the minute is a wife to my husband. There's some kind of awkwardness in it. But this is the relationship than a reason once between husbands and wives, the Navy's awesome once our women to be that devoted, that loving to have that level of admiration for husband. That is what the reason is instructing our wives. At the same time, our husbands, many women when they hear this, how do you feel so we have no problem honoring our husbands to put him on that level? If he's deserving of it, that I would I don't mind you being the soupon, you can be the king of the house, you can be all those things you can lead, and I will be by your side. But you

need to be deserving of that. And how many women as you're listening to this, you are nodding your head. Yes, is indeed. And that is really the crux of the husband wife dynamic in the Sharia. The Sharia focuses a lot on the wife and focus a lot on the husband. But ultimately, if you look at it, the back into the husband, then abuse of the Quran, it says to the husband, ultimately, you are the one that needs to show that leadership, you are the one that comes first in terms of doing your duty, being that good husband, and automatically is expected a wife, she would then fulfill her side of the bargain. But first steps comes from you. And if you do that Subhanallah if you are that

husband, that is loving kind for falls your duties, you will find your wife with reciprocate as well. And so the promises are missing to our sisters as well. That part of your obligation to your duty to Allah, your obedience to unlock is fulfilling your duty towards your husband.

All of this, some of these things, you know, we can accept and some of these reject all of it. Some of these things are easy to understand. I was we you know, for our sisters maybe is something I need to make the extra effort like last week, husbands we don't we know we gave you that advice. And we all try to be better husbands better wives. Ultimately, we put this effort in not just for our marriage to be successful, not just for our spouse to love us, not just for happiness in the dunya. The ultimate objective is, is gender. And so that's why the prophets Allah says

to the sisters, when you do this, a lady came to us hobbyhorse ain't even watching. He says he's on Antti camp with an abuse alum. And she asked him some questions. And when she was done, then abusers have said to her, do you have a husband? she asked the resources lady, do you have a husband? And she said, Yes, I have a husband. And so the resources to ask her how are you with him? how you treat him? What kind of wife are you? So she says, I do what He tells me except what is beyond me. I try to fulfill my obligations to him to the best of my ability. And so the prophets also responded to her saying, Look at how you always mean Be very careful in your duties as a wife towards Him,

because He is your agenda and your janam on the day of kiama A wives just as much as our husbands will be asked by Allah. What kind of husband Were you always going to ask our sisters? What kind of wife were you? Were you did you

Do the bare minimum as a wife, did you do less than was required? Did you do more Did you give extra than what was required of you were you a, the best possible wife You couldn't be, and in that you can attain your agenda. And similarly to the wife that is negligent of her duties and responsibilities as a wife, it could be also her jahannam and this is the words of the Rasul sallallahu alayhi wa sallam on salema, the wife of the nasal sanlam, she says that the Prophet says, a woman who dies, while her husband is pleased with her, she will intergender that if a woman passes away, you know, and the husband remains and he's pleased with, again, he's not pleased that she's

not happy that she died. But he's pleased that, you know, when she passes away, and at her janazah, he said, and he says, that was a very good wife, that she gets all this and he so when he thinks of his marriage and his time with her, of course, not all of them were perfect. It wasn't you know, every moment in those 2030 years, what ozy but overall, he knows in his heart that Allah blessed him with a good wife, if a woman passes away and she died in a state when we Jasmine was pleased with her. The Prophet says, she is guaranteed gender Subhana Allah. So sisters, is a means of which you can intergender to make the extra effort for the happiness of your husband again, not for him, but

for the sake of to attain gender, it is worth it. This beautiful hearty the last advice to our sisters, the professor's allowances. If a woman performs a five Salas she makes her $5 and she fasts on the month of Ramadan, and she Gods chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her into whichever gate of gender you want. There are eight gates of gender, which ever gate of gender you want to enter, you may enter it Subhan Allah, this is the highest level of success. The other person which we know had this honor is Abubakar Golan, were the Prophet told him that he would enter any of the eight gates of Jannah of his choosing for assistance that IBM is giving you very simple advice

to get to that level. perform your solder fast in the month of Ramadan, be chaste, and obey your husband to the best of your ability, you will get the highest levels of Jannah. And so that is why so heinola don't do it. As we said for him, do we to please Allah subhanaw taala make that extra effort to be the best possible wife, even when he is miserable. Even when he is difficult, even when he's frustrated? You be the best you can be for the sake of attaining your agenda, and Subhanallah as we as we said earlier in this lecture, in our day, in the world we live in, we are instructed to be the best employee, we are instructed to give you know 110%, to our jobs, and then 10%, to our

bosses and then 10% to our dreams and the things that we want to do, you know our passions, but no one tells you give 110% to your husband, give 110% to pleasing your husband Subhana Allah if you're going to devote yourself to anyone that says if you're really going to devote yourself to that level to any person on this earth, then Devote yourself devoted to your spouse, the one which you have taken a covenant with Allah subhanaw taala in Mecca, the idea is, we know in our Sharia, there is no such thing as till death do us part, we hope that our marriages are successful in the dunya so that we can be perpetual partners in general feel those melograno all of us to achieve that happily ever

after with our husbands and wives Mullah. subhanaw taala God has the understanding that we fulfill our obligations in our nikka now all of us find happiness in the dunya and then we are held on malice panalytical give us the anyone was unhappy with what was it that insha Allah, Allah you know, grant is understanding and that allows us to be the best possible spouses we can be mean Zach lajitas en la signum, Hammond while only also happy with that, it will happen later on I mean, so that while he can work with light wabarakatuh