Channel: Mufti Menk
Advice at Wedding
Kannur, Kerala, India
30 August 2019
Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim al hamdu Lillah wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah however, it was Javier Jemaine, we praise Allah subhanho wa Taala. We send blessings upon Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, his household, his companions, we ask Allah to bless them, to bless every one of us to bless the couple that have come together in nica today, and the families that have just united in this beautiful bond of Nika, may Allah make this a union through which allows Dean will be served, and inshallah we will all benefit in one good way or another. I mean, my brothers and sisters, you know, we always get happy and excited when we hear about weddings. And we're always happy to see our
children get married to good spouses, it is not easy for the father of the bride to select for his daughter, the person whom he feels will not oppress his child, the person whom he feels will take care of his daughter, the person whom he feels will actually honor his child in the way he honored her when she was young. The decision is not an easy one, it is actually a very, very challenging decision, because parents genuinely want goodness for their children. But unfortunately, what happens is, it is not easy to judge an individual just by a few meetings. So before we used to rely heavily on the family, and we would say, that's a good family. So I'm sure the guy is a good guy, or
that's a good family. So I am sure the girl is a good girl, you and I know that today, that is not always the case. Nowadays, you can sometimes have a very good family, but the boy is not a good boy. Or you can have a family that does not have a good reputation. But the boy is a very good boy, it can happen that sometimes even with the girl, you have a family that does not have a good reputation, but the girl could be a wonderful person. Perhaps she doesn't agree with some of what her own family does. And sometimes you can have a family that has a very good reputation, but the girl has cells may not have that type of a reputation. The reason I mentioned this is to show you
how difficult it has become to take this step. I know of many parents who just say no, no, no, no to anyone who comes simply because they are frightened to let go of their daughters. They are worried if I let my daughter go will this boy actually look after her? So in order to put our brother into a quick corner, I want to ask him when you look after our daughter or not
Masha Allah, you heard that right? You all heard it, we are the witness, she will look after her inshallah he will look after her even better than how you have looked after her child. May Allah make it easy. Is that correct?
Mashallah is so happy. May Allah keep you happy and gradually even greater happiness. I'm happy to hear that. I have eight Daughters of my own. Two of them are married.
And I promised you the challenges when it comes to getting them married. All you want to know as a father is, are you going to look after my daughter? I don't want anything else. I want you to respect her. I want to tell you something. I've been married for many years, I stopped counting how many years but I cannot remember a day when we were swearing when we were screaming when we were fighting. When we were disrespectful to one another. I cannot remember a day because we are respectful people. No way.
Would there be a reason for you to swear? Why? swear words are not supposed to be in the vocabulary of a Muslim? If you're a Muslim, why should you swear? So if you have not sworn vulgar language, bad language outside? Why would you swear to the person whom the Prophet sallallahu wasallam says the best from amongst you is the one who is the best to his wife and you are swearing to her. You are shouting at her. You are yelling at her. You are screaming at her for what what is the reasons and vice versa. Why I say vice versa is sometimes we have a challenge where the wife begins to shout and the wife begins to scream and swear that we don't want as well. So either way, let it be a
And I'm sure there are so many from amongst us who have never had a problem with their spouses. We have never had to
yell and scream and shout at each other, we have never had to actually swear at each other. Let's keep it that way, inshallah those who are young, those who are hot blooded where they get angry very fast Remember, your duty is to look after yourself, contain yourself, control yourself, for the sake of Allah the best from amongst you. The Prophet sallallahu Sallam says, is the one who is best to his wife or the husband and family members to begin with.
I asked Allah to make it easy for all of us. I asked Allah to grant us goodness, my brothers and sisters, this is somebody's daughter, this is somebody's son, they are also dear to Allah. They also have hopes and dreams and aspirations help them fulfill what they would like to achieve in the short life. For as long as it is not within the disobedience of Allah. Sometimes we promise things as we are getting married. And when we get married, we forget about those promises. That's not a good thing. Sometimes we promise the world and we don't give anything or sometimes we deceive prior to marriage, let the days after marriage be better than those before marriage. So many times as a
counselor, I received queries where people say, you know, everything was so rosy the day we got married, it changed. I want to tell you and I want to challenge you. Let we as Muslims be the opposite, where perhaps prior to marriage, it was okay, it was good. But once we got married, it was the best it was even better. Don't let Schaefer come in the middle. Remember, the point I raised earlier when it came to the appreciation of this marriage that we witness this evening, I said the key to the first door of Happiness is your five daily prayers. I promise you, I swear by Allah, if you uplift that pillar, there will be no challenge that will be too big to resolve on condition that
you are all interested in that prayer, five daily prayers, there is no chance that the person calls himself a Muslim woman and he doesn't pray. He doesn't pray to Allah, what do you want, you can have lots and lots of wealth, but you are going nowhere. They will not be deep contentment, you will not be happy. Let us change our lives. Let us become better people. You know, to enter Jannah you need two things, only two things. To enter Paradise you need two things. You need a relationship with Allah and you need a really good relationship with the creatures of Allah, the rest of the people and all the creatures of Allah, so that to Allah He was no one okay? The Prophet sallallahu Sallam
was asked what are the two characteristics of the people of gentlemen? This was the answer he gave. He said to Allah, he was no hanaki you would like to achieve gender. You need the consciousness of Allah. Build your relation with Allah, fulfill your prayer, be an upright person, try your best. constantly seek the forgiveness of Allah. We are human beings. We make mistakes. We do wrong things sometimes, quickly, come back. You don't know when you're going to die.
quickly ask Allah for forgiveness. He will forgive you. Your Lord is forgiving. He's merciful. He's beneficence. He's the most kind. He's the most generous, he's the most compassionate, he will forgive you. But seek the forgiveness of Allah, seek it and Allah will forgive you. So no matter what you've done in life, you are weak. Allah knows you. He knows. If you repent to him, he will wipe out your sins. Turn to Allah. Try and fulfill your bond. People ask me, saying I'm a very sinful person. What should I do? I want to become a better person. The first thing seek the forgiveness of Allah and start mentioning the name of Allah with your tongue. La ilaha illa Allah
repeat that many times in the day. It is powerful, it will help you Subhana Allah Alhamdulillah Allah Akbar, it will help you the Prophet sallallahu Sallam says, Whoever repeats 100 times La ilaha illallah wa de la sharika Hulu Allah Who do you hear when you meet who are who are other coalition in Kadena Amar will give him an immense reward. Allah will raise his status, Allah will wipe out a lot of his sins and so much more in terms of benefit how many of us repeat those words in the day?
We need to repeat these words La ilaha illa Allah Muhammad Rasul Allah Subhana Allah Alhamdulillah that will be our connection with Allah thereafter we will be able to purify regarding our prayer regarding our other duties unto Allah and you know what is a sign of piety and I will end on this note inshallah, I will end on this note
There is lovely hot food that is smelling so good that it has forced me to say I will end on this note, because as I was planning to go longer, I can just smell the food, the scent coming through mela grandpa's Baraka in our food. It's a happy day today I enjoyed that last point I wanted to raise was, you know, my brothers and sisters, when people look pious outwardly, you know, you see someone they are dressed nicely, they appear very, very pious and so on. How do you really know that that is piety? Or it is fake? How do you know? Do you know how to tell only through their character that's it because they might fulfill Salah they might be giving Zakat they might be in the first sub
five times a day in the masjid, but they might have a bigger shape. And then those who might not be that particular or regular May Allah make all of us regular. The way to tell is your character, the more closer or the closer you become to Allah, the softer your character becomes. It's automatic. You speak to people with respect. You give people a little bit of time. You are an honest, upright person, you care for others, you wash your mouth, starting with your family members. Subhana Allah. So if you really want to know someone is pious, you ask the wife, you ask the children, you ask the parents, how is this person? If they give you a good reference, that person is now indeed a pious
person. They are close to Allah, how many of us we think we are close to Allah, but in actual fact, we are very very far because we swear this one we cheat that one we deceive this one we backbite about the others. We gossip about this one, we enjoy spreading rumors about people and destroying their lives. We want to break this one. No a true Walkman builds people, he gives them hope he gives he encourages them to do good when he discourages them from bad. He does it in a beautiful way. He doesn't want to expose others or fix them or see them down. He wants to see everyone feel closer to Allah that is a true mean. May Allah grant us truthfulness. Allah make us pious people whose piety
shows in our character in our conduct. We are all human beings, our relationship with one another will help us to go to Japan to end the reward. If we have a good relationship, may Allah bless you. Once again my beloved brother, I ask Allah to bless you to grant your goodness please be conscious of the way you treat your family, your in laws and so on. And I'm also here speaking to the Father of the Bride Mashallah Allah bless you and your family and you know, you have both gained inshallah, in one way or another, we will respect each other and fulfill each other's rights to the best of our ability with the best tongue possible every day. Just like when you say, the remembrance of Allah is
an act of worship. It's a very high activation. But another act of worship is when you say beautiful words with your mouth, to your spouse, to your family members, words of love words of goodness, words of encouragement that is also an act of worship. akula Callie hada Salatu was Salam ala nabina Muhammad Subhana Allah He will be happy Hanukkah lahoma the shadow Allah Allah Allah and the stove, rural covenant, Tobu Lake, Masha