The Best of Examples
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Channel: Moutasem al-Hameedy
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AI Generated Summary ©
The speakers emphasize the importance of community and finding happiness in relationships, as well as finding happiness without trying to get into marriage. They also emphasize the need for guidance and self- reflection, as well as finding a good mother or father in a family for healthy parenting. The speakers stress the importance of good advice and engagement in preserving the marriage and working towards a better life, as well as the need for strategic advice and engagement to avoid embarrassment and tension. They also touch on the concept of "med renaming," which is the need for good advice and engagement to avoid embarrassment and tension, as well as preserving the marriage and working towards a better life.AI Generated Transcript ©
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It pleases me today, in particular,
to be sitting here today, giving a lecture in the masjid that I grew up in.
And I want to thank the organizers first for honoring me with this invitation to speak about our beloved Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Who are they?
Moving forward? A few things. Number one, I asked everybody to move up if possible, to make way for those who are coming in to the masjid so if you can just move up one or two lines we appreciate about a calligraphy come and everybody came early and they got comfortable. But just to make way for those who are coming shortly in sha Allah Allah to Allah and may Allah subhanahu wata Allah bless you all.
The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
was an extraordinary man, the most extraordinary man that Allah subhanho wa Taala has placed on this earth.
And Allah subhanahu wata, Isla, and in his Quran testifies to the character of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam where Ali
and I Aisha Radi Allahu Taala on her also testified to his character sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
It is mentioned in the Hadith that portada reports.
He said I said to her I shall not the Allahu Taala and her own Mother of the Believers. Tell me about the character of the messenger of allah sallallahu are they he was setting them? And I issue reported and she asked, she replied and she asked, Have you not read the Quran?
So before I go on to complete the Hadith,
the man is coming to ask her I shall not the Allahu Taala on her about the character, the character of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. And the first thing that comes to mind for Aisha, in response to that question, is a book of Allah so so
So subhanho wa Taala
the first thing that comes to mind is a book of Allah. Before we even get to the response of Aisha Radi Allahu taala. And it shows you what sort of extraordinary character he had for the first thing to be associated with his character being the book of Allah subhanho wa taala.
Aisha, she says, Have you not read the Quran? And the man said Bella,
she asked him, am I talking to Al Quran? Do you not read the Quran? And the man said, Of course, she said kind of hello oh hello Quran. His character sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was that of the Quran. Now to put context
to Aisha Radi Allahu Allah and her witnessing to his character
in society, if I were to ask a question, who knows you best from amongst the people that you live amongst, who knows you best?
Everyone's sleeping, who knows you best guys. Your family, your family, they live with you. They wake up, go to sleep and you're they're always there closer to you than anybody else. So if there's anybody who's whose testimony would be the strongest on this earth, the testimony of a human being it would be your family member, be it your mother or your father or your spouse or your children.
So I Aisha Radi Allahu Allah, Allah is testifying to the character of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam,
and greater than this is the testimony of Allah subhanho wa Taala in the Quran, where he says in Surah, Kalam, we're in the killer, Allah whole looking of him. And you are truly he says, Subhana Huhtala, a man of outstanding character.
I find it amazing how in one man,
we can break apart his entire life, and in particular, his character, and that's what we're doing here today.
Breaking down his character in terms of how he was to his companions, how he was to his family, how he was to children, how he was to his alma right, and all of these characters being brought together in one person.
The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he says, describing himself in nama Boris to 10 Minimum Solihull o'clock, or Mechanicville o'clock In another Hadith, right? He says, Son Allah Allah is some verily or only I have only been sent to perfect righteous character. But this shows you that there was righteous character that existed in the time of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam prior to him becoming a prophet of Allah, but he sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is teaching us that he has come to perfect character.
Allah subhanho wa Taala he says describing the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam right? That he is the best example. The call the cannula Kuma feel Rasulillah he was one Hustler, you will all find in the Prophet of Allah salAllahu alayhi wa sallam the best of examples.
But for who?
Who does he serve as an example to
Allah subhanaw taala goes on to complete and he says Lehmann can a Yahoo law. How will Yeoman
for those who yearn in Allah subhanho wa Taala those who hope in Allah subhanho wa Taala and in the last day,
right, so those who truly benefit from his outstanding character, or those who believe in Allah subhanho wa Taala believe in the unseen, believe in the Day of Judgment, believe in the Mercy of Allah subhanaw taala believe in His punishment, believe in Jana, but even Johanna
those are truly the ones who benefit from the outstanding character of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and they benefit from him by taking him as an example.
Right. And I want to share with you all different instances and different contexts, in how the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam truly serves as a friend, to his companions,
to younger children, and to the greater Oma.
This first Hadith
pertaining to the generosity of the prophets of Allah to Allah Who Salah Marathi, Abdullah ibn Abbas he narrates, he says, Allah's Messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was the most generous of humankind in charity. And he was at his most charitable in the month of Ramadan. So I want to stop there for a moment. When you are discussing someone who is a friend to you, there's somebody who's there for you, right? A friend is somebody who you can trust or somebody is a friend is somebody who you can expect help from in times of need. That is who he was sallallahu alayhi wa sallam to his own.
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and even though he sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was not the most richest amongst his companions, he didn't have the most. But yet, Abdullah ibn Abbas is striving him Salallahu Alaihe salam to be the most generous of mankind.
And he says that he was most charitable in the month of Ramadan, which shows you that in his character, sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam as a compassionate friend, as a messenger of Allah, there is an association between his generosity, and between his character and the month of Ramadan.
The month of Ramadan is a blessing month in which we all turn towards our purpose in life.
And we turn in particular to the book of Allah subhanho wa taala.
And you see here that even our best but I'll be allowed to hide on humor, right, is connecting that the Prophet salallahu Salam was the best he was the most charitable, the most generous in the month of Ramadan.
And so shows you that his connection with the Quran was a connection that increased him in goodness. Right? And look at how he describes him continuing in the Hadith. He says Gibreel would then come to him and present the Quran to him. And when you breed met him, Allah's Messenger salAllahu alayhi salam was more generous and charity than the winds sent with showering rain. Now when you think of rain, does it distinguish from between one learn from another
is in particular and wetlands. Rain is is something that the entire Earth benefits from.
Right? When rain falls on the land, it falls everywhere.
So Abdullah Abdullah Abbas is drawing this parallel between this generous reign, and these wins and abroad and the Prophet of allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, meaning that his generosity was not specific to a particular people. It was to everybody, whether it be those who show hostility to him, whether it be to his family, whether it be to children, whether it be to those who are elderly, whether it be to those who even have
an are not necessarily in need, because I burst Rhodiola and Huma is not specifying the generosity of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam only to those who are in need.
Right? He was saying that he was the most generous sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
In another Hadith,
right, Musa ibn Ennis reported on the authority of his father. He said, it never happened. That Allah's Messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was asked anything for the sake of Islam, and he did not give that they came to him a person. And he gave him a large flock of sheep and goat. And he went back to his people and he said, My people embrace Islam, from Mohammed gives more charity, so much charity, as if he has no fear of poverty.
This man was wasn't necessarily a Muslim.
He's going back to his people. And he's showing the people the generosity that exists in Islam, all through the giving of the prophets of Allah or some so even his generosity wasn't specifically to Muslims even.
Right.
That is a friend sallallahu alayhi salam to his alma to humanity. Allah subhanaw taala he says Omar Abdullah ki Illa Rahmatullah Alameen. We haven't sent you except as a Rama to the world's
except as Allah, Allah subhanaw taala negates the sending of his of his prophet from anything else other than him being a mercy on this earth to the entire universe or the entire Earth and the universe is SallAllahu Sallam
with respect to his compassion to the younger generation, and has been manic reports the messenger of allah sallallahu Sallam would come to us and I had a little brother, whose nickname was a mermaid. He said a pet Sparrow he used to play with died. So this young boy had a pet Sparrow, and it died one day look at this. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam entered one day and saw him grieving. So he said, What happened to this little boy? Look at the emotional intelligence of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam, he wasn't just a friend to the elders in his community. He wasn't just a friend to the closest of his companions. He was a friend to the younger generation.
How often do we see this emotional intelligence in our community with our youngsters? How often is it that there's a lecture going on or we hear kids screaming, playing next door, and we're quick to criticize them?
But the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was had such a character that was exuding that he was undeniable. sallallahu alayhi wasallam
to those who around him, and it was infectious, his character
Right. So the man told him his pet Sparrow had died. So the Prophet sallallahu Sallam to cheer up the child. He said, Yeah, about obeyed Martha Allen Noid or about a maid what happened to the little sparrow? Look at how the Prophet sallallahu wasallam is not only asking about the feelings of this child, he then goes salatu salam to cheer that child up. Showing that he found significance in that child he valued that child he wasn't particularly related to the child right and yet he Salah ism shows compassion to that child. Right? In another Hadith, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam kissed his grandson. This is a hadith is collected by Abu Hurayrah. And it's it's narrated by Bahrain and is
collected by Al Bukhari and Muslim, this hadith it's well known. The Prophet of Allah salAllahu Alaihe Salam kissed his grandson, Al Hassan, Bin Ali, not the Lord to Allah on whom, there upon he remarked, right, a man asked him, a man said, I have 10 children, I have never kissed any one of them. We're not going to ask today by show of hands, which fathers kissed her the children we're not going to do that today. But look at how this man was very honest, in his relationship with his children.
And he said, Yeah, rasool Allah in the LI Ashura terminal well at 10 Children, Mark have been to meet him
for another ILA he sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and so the prophet of allah sallallahu Sallam looks at him. And he says, Man, lay your hand, lay your hand.
Those who do not have mercy with others, Mercy will not be shown to them.
Right? This is a man and his children. And even though he has a direct bond with his children, right?
It still didn't cause him to show that affection and that's something that we should instill in our families, right? Concerning his compassion, with our ummah.
Right? So, of course, may Allah be pleased with him, he reported, right.
The Prophet sallallahu alayhi salam and him they left Medina, they left for and Medina they left, right, and they're on the writing camel, and he sees the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam raising his hands and supplication to Allah for a while, right, and he prostrated himself afterwards. So he sees the Prophet sallallahu Sallam raising his hands making dua. He faces camel towards the fibula, and then he makes sujood.
Right? And then he gets back up, and he makes dua again, and then he prostreet again, he does this three times. Right? And the Prophet sallallahu. Recently, he says, I supplicated to my blob, and made intercession from an ummah. Right. And the third time, he says, salatu salam, then he granted me 1/3 of them. So the Prophet sallallahu Sallam in this hadith, stops in his journey to make dua for OMA, that is compassion that He has for us, even though he didn't even meet us salatu salam.
And Allah subhanaw taala grants him intercession for only 1/3 of his OMA, the Prophet saw some didn't stop there. He goes back into sujood.
He goes back into sujood, for a matter that isn't necessarily beneficial for him. It's for us. So his compassion Psalm, Allah Azza wa sallam extends to us, even though he didn't even meet us.
And so he said, Allah Allah, he said and prostrated himself again, in gratitude to Allah. Then he raised his head, then he makes dua a second time and Allah subhanaw taala grants him a second third of the Ummah, that he is permitted to give his intercession for.
So now he's given two thirds and with every single acceptance of the DUA, he sallallahu alayhi salam is prostrating Institute, thanking Allah subhana wa Tada.
And then he raises his hand because he is not content with that he wants more salatu salam.
And he makes dua a third time.
And then he raises he makes sujood out of right happiness SallAllahu Alaihe Salam in gratitude, and he says SallAllahu sallam, I supplicated to my blob from an ummah and he granted me the last third of them. So I fell into prostration out of gratitude, before matalab.
Right? I shall not be allowed to hug her and her
his beloved wife, and when he was asked, Who do you love most? He responded with saying, I shall not be loyal to her and she asked me an interesting question one day,
excuse me.
She asked the Prophet sallallahu Sallam Have you encountered a harder day
Sallalahu center
she asked him rather low tide on her
Have you encountered a harder day than the Battle of Earth?
As you all know the battle was a very difficult battle for the prophets of Allah. How do you sell them considering how many of us companions passed away?
The closest of them being his uncle Hamza, Allah, Allah Tala and about coffee.
So he responds sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam, and he says, I have met your people as they are. And the worst of it was the day of October,
as I had an audience, right, with even Abdullah Yellin, and Abu Kula Al, so he's talking about how he sallallahu alayhi wa sallam want to talk, if we all know the story of time for the prophets of Allah and he said, on walks by foot, to talk if for no other reason Allah here other than to call them to Islam,
other than to hold on to Islam, no other reason. So he goes sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and he says he did not respond as I hoped. So I departed with grief on my face. He said Salah isn't because he's trying to come to Islam. He knows the truth about Islam, and he's trying to call his ummah to the truth of Allah. So Allah Allah, Allah subhanho wa taala. He says, I could not recover, he did not even raise his face, some Allah Azza wa sallam in his way back to Makkah, he goes to thought if he tries to come to Islam, and he was rejected, so he turns around, and he's walking back to Makkah, he said, I didn't raise my head until I got to him. I didn't raise my head until I reached the eyelid.
And he says, Then I raised my head, to behold a cloud shading me. I looked again, and I see Gibreel Allah, He said, I'm calling out to me. Verily, Allah has heard what your people said to you and the response, he has sent the angel of mountains called and the angels mountains like give Santa the prophets Allah Allah Azza wa sallam, the angel of the mountains called out to greet me with peace. Then he said, Oh, Muhammad, speak as you wish, I will crush them under two mountains, if that is what you desire.
So he said Allah and He sent him was given the option
to punish those who turned him away and he's a prophet of Allah. So Allah Azza wa salam,
and even then he sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he says, No,
rather, I hope Allah will bring about from their progeny, those who would worship Allah, Allah, Allah subhanho wa Taala without associating partners with him.
So even after they rejected him, he was hoping sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that those who would come after him after those people who rejected him, what turned toward Islam. And as you all know that if he's in Saudi Arabia, Saudi Arabia,
and it's full of Muslims, but look at how he sallallahu alayhi wa sallam extends compassion and love and mercy, even to those who reject him sallallahu alayhi wa sallam,
right? And
in different iterations, right? It was mentioned that he saw our system was met with hostility from these people.
How many of us, exude mercy and love and compassion to those who show enmity towards us?
How many of us are forgiving?
Let alone show mercy. How many of us are forgiving to those who show hostility towards us and our families? Look at the story of Abu Bakr Radi Allahu Taala Andrew and his daughter I shall not do Motala Anna who was accused of the fascia of such an atrocity
and Abu Bakr Al Dila on who who was from the more generous Companions would take care and sustain many of the people in Medina
and from those who he was taking care of was Mr.
Who was involved in spreading the lie about our inshallah Tada.
Can you imagine?
Can you imagine you taking care of somebody?
After Allah subhanaw taala the person's food, clothes, livelihood is dependent on you after Allah subhanaw taala
and you come to find out that that person is harming your family with lies. It's one thing it's one thing if what they're mentioning about your family is a truth but a bitter truth and they're spreading that and it
Something that the people do not like to hear. But this man is spreading a lie. He was spreading a lie.
Well then on top
of the Prophets wife, Salah Alan Cinnamoroll, double Tara Anna. And so Abu Bakr he says Wallahi I will stop giving in fact to this man, I will stop spending on this man.
And so Allah subhanaw taala reveals the either failure or who will use Pharaoh, Allah to reborn and young Pharaoh Allahu Allah Quran.
Allah subhanaw taala he says, Forgive and pardon, do you not wish for Allah subhanaw taala to forgive you of your sins.
And so Abu Bakr Radi Allahu Allahu in response of this verse, he says Bella, or her boy fear Allah hurry. He says, Indeed Allah for Allah subhanho wa Taala to forgive me. And he returned to giving wealth to Mr.
So all of these scenarios, circumstances where the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam is exuding compassion, and love and mercy and care
to those around him irrespective of whether they harmed him, irrespective of whether they were close to him, whether they were Muslim or non Muslim irrespective of their age, the respect, the care the concern, the mercy that he showed some Allahu alayhi wa sallam was indiscriminate
was indiscriminant. Right? And from a more practical perspective, when we learn about his biography, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, it should prompt us to want to be like him. salAllahu alayhi wasallam when Allah subhanaw taala describes him as the best of examples are a great example to write. It's for those who want to follow him.
It's not just information to know.
Right? His biography serves as a lesson as a guide. For those who yearn for Allah subhanaw taala in the hereafter. For those who yearn to be
neighbors with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam with for those who yearn for the Mercy of Allah subhanho wa taala. And so we ask Allah subhana wa Tada to bless us with a character of our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and to make us of those who are His neighbors in Jannah and to grant us the strength, the strength to show ease and mercy and compassion to those around us irrespective of whether they are our beloved ones, or those who we know or those who don't know. Well sal Allahu has sent them about a cannon Amina Mohammed Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.
insha Allah Tala she has so much that he is here and shadow will continue to be the light Allah
and inshallah once we finished the light we will update you exactly as what it's going to be coming up the next few weeks hamdulillah
We have another program next week. Next Sunday was to sort of Tamia and also the following week we also have Chef matar some preparation for Ramadan the following Sunday. So Hamdulillah this Sunday next week, the week after Inshallah, we have great programs inshallah that we have prepared for inshallah. So in sha Allah make sure you always follow us on social media and Instagram. And so you at least you'll be informed of the what is happening. The latest programs in sha Allah Tala also Ramadan is just around the corner Subhanallah it was only last year that Ramadan we witnessed Ramadan and all of a sudden it's just a matter if it's like only yesterday, but Subhanallah Ramadan
in Charlotte I must Allah Subhana Allah Allah Allah Mahabharata and say I mean,
inshallah we will
we have an amazing lineup this year,
in terms of the body, mashallah Shia Murat subharti from Algeria. He's coming back at hamdulillah al Amin, also our own chef Rahman, who normally lead the Fajr and Maghrib and Isha prayers right here Abu Huraira he's going to be also be in the lineup. Also another new face that you haven't seen before. Sheikh Mohammed Farah has come from the UK. So in sha Allah this Ramadan is going to be really busy so make sure you shall utterly follow us in sha Allah Allah so we can get the most up to date news with La Tala and also Ramadan. I don't have to really remind you make sure that as you all know we have
from Allah Allah soulless a piece of time for Abu Huraira cassava, Israel is a community so with our four schools as well as the floor, sometimes we provide a floor for almost 1000 People just imagine the 1000 Sharla brothers and sisters. Why because you know, it's a sense of community. So inshallah as you're exiting Charlotte or whatever you kind of Charlotte Allah got the idea with Allah Allah and just doing a generous Chautala for the Stata program and sometimes almost 70 $80,000 Just for Ramadan. But hamdullah we have no fear we put our trust in Allah subhanaw taala and the show after that the community will come through so inshallah
be there a shout out we'll be outside so inshallah you can help us in sha Allah, Allah, whatever, you can't $20 $50 Whatever you can have Sharla just for the thought of regardless of market, and also there's a brother also was sitting outside if you have any questions about your tax, tax clinic,
you have wrong CRA or
you want to file your tax, you know, get some information about other shelterless our social borrow philosophy from slavery Curatola thought about
and now Sasha has given a shot.
Right
Allow him
to know Him and allow Him Haman hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen will begin a strain or mortar dunya with Deen also Allah Houma wa salam ala Nabina Muhammad. While early he was so heavy on marine Allahu malema, young Pharaoh no one find me my island tena was it in early Monday and founder
Allama 14 or 15? Why limit will we always begin? by praising Allah azza wa jal? We send our peace and salutations upon the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
It's clear that I guess my topic is the most anticipated.
And
what I'm going to say I don't know if the brothers are going to take it the right way. I just play I just play but
as a Muslim,
we recognize that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
was sent to us to be the best of examples. naka de cannula calm, feel Rasulillah he was where to enhance
Senator Toliman Kennedy Abdullah al Maliki
the indeed the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was sent to us to be the best examples for us. If you carry on your doula will, you're
the one that hopes in Allah subhanho wa Taala and hopes and the hereafter. And so when we're true believers, and that is our essence and our core, and we want that which is with Allah subhanho wa Taala we take the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is our real role model, and the person we tried to follow in all aspects of life, in every single aspect of life, the prophesy Selim is our ultimate role model. And that is,
it doesn't matter what gender that is, obviously, there's going to be certain things apostar cinema does, they're going to be specific to men football, for the most part, the most SLM is always going to be the best of examples for us.
And
just as human beings, we're always seeking out happiness in all our affairs.
Whether that be happiness, and our own selves, finding happiness, just being by ourselves, or happiness with others around us, or even happiness with our close family members, and the happiness that we seek in our own homes. For those who are married with our spouses. We're looking for, we're looking for happiness.
However, happiness is only attained. Through following the Prophet SAW Selim, following his teachings, following his way following his methodology, sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam.
Allah azza wa jal, he tells us that in the Quran, when Allah Saleh and mean they're carrying a wound, our hormone admin, fellow Norwegian who hired and the Yerba Mate, we're all looking for a good life, a happy life, you know,
but that is only going to happen. That is only going to happen when we believe in Allah subhanho wa taala. And we follow, we follow our deen and, you know, conferences like this and sittings like this and gatherings like this really makes one happy to see that Muslims do care, we do care about our Akela we do care about ourselves, well being and how we're going to be in Africa and ask Allah subhanaw taala to increase the virtue for every single one of us with Allah.
Again, the prophesize hilum being one sent to us as a mercy for all of mankind.
We recognize that if we turn away from the teachings of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam we lose that happiness, the happiness that Allah subhanaw taala promised us in the Quran, whether it's with ourselves or with our spouses and our families, we lose that if we don't follow the Prophet so I sell them and Allah azza wa jal tells us woman Alba and victory for in nila, Houma, Aisha 10 Blanca, whoever turns away from the remembrance of Allah azza wa jal, and part of the remembrance of Allah in the Quran itself is to follow the prophesy set when Allah is telling you to follow his way follow his methodology. So if we turn away from that which the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
is telling us to do, then we're not going to have that happy life. No matter who we are, no matter whether we're a husband or wife, no matter if we haven't gotten married yet. My last pair of Tyler make it easy for the brothers and sisters are still single.
But no matter what category we're in, we're not going to find that happiness. If it's not believing in Allah subhanho wa taala. And following the way of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, I just wanted to get those major points in sha Allah out of the way before we specifically talk about the character of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam as a husband. Right.
And when we talk about the Prophet SAW Selim, we could talk about different aspects, right? We can talk about how he was loving, and how he expressed his love to his wives. sallallahu alayhi wasallam we can talk about the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was forbearance for his family members, right? Specifically his wives. Never screaming at them, never raising his hand to them. Right. So there's many aspects that we can talk about when we talk about the character of the boss ourselves, specifically when we're talking about him with his family. So I'm going to try to keep it inshallah condensed
Qalamoun caramel. You know, the best of speech is the one that's, you know, short and sweet and straight to the point and shallow.
Again, it's not new to us
Probably not the first time we're going to hear this. And most likely everything that I say today may be a reminder. However, the reminder does benefit the believer. It's not new to us that the prophets of Allah Allahu wa sallam, he was the most kind. If you look at the bishop, if we look at the human kind, he was the most kind. And the post I sent them was extremely gentle, and extremely gentle to his family.
The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he would express affection for many brothers, you know?
Unfortunately, fortunately, unfortunately, the reality is many people nowadays, they date, right? Fathers are looking at like, I can't believe it. But yes, most likely your daughter or your son is dating someone, unfortunately. Right. And again, that can be maybe a lecture for another time, we have to recognize that that's not the way of a Muslim, to be dating behind the back of our parents, or things of that sort. If you're interested, Mashallah. Most fathers are willing to assist in the marriage process. Again, that's another topic for another time, inshallah. However,
many may think, or many of us when it's the time that you know, you're trying to get to know someone, as a time that you're gonna, you know, use the four letter word, right, it's called the forbidden the forbidden word. They say, Love. Generally, we don't try to use that early on, we don't want to, you know, make the person assume
that we're going to marry them or things of that sort. Right. However,
generally, you use words of affection in the beginning, and, you know, people might be again, flirtatious or things of that sort. However, when they get married, all of that goes away. You know, all the, you know, flirting and all that talk that you had before? Where are you? You never said I loved me to you, you never said I love me for almost a year or two. The flowers they used to give me in the beginning, they don't exist. No more chocolates, no more, you know, gifts. And it's as if once someone gets married, that all those things go away. All those go away. Again, because of the novel, not looking at whether what the youngsters are doing is halal or not, obviously emphasizing
that it's important that we seek marriage in the way that is appropriate and the way that's set out by the Sharia. However, when someone does get married, that's when they're supposed to up their game. Right? You had a game before brother, you gotta up your game now. Right? And even in the way the Prophet salAllahu alayhi wasallam expressed love and affection to his wives was evident. And it was clear. The Vasa Salam, as we know, he had names, and the one to really talk about her relationship the most was Aisha mother, Laura and her. You see a lot of narrations of Aisha talking about how the Prophet sallallahu sallam was at home.
He used to call her Yeah, ish. It was a nickname for her. Right? Yeah, ish. Right. So you know, some brothers, and sometimes you might be a little rigid. And that's reality, certain brothers are can be a little more rigid than others. But again, we love the Prophet. And we recognize that he's the best of example, is he doing that for a reason? Right? He's being kind to them for a reason to make his home a place, you know, a humble dwelling, a place where he can come home and relax. However, the minute you come home, yeah, for Lana, you just call her by her first name. Right? And you're you're just bickering with her. As soon as you come home, you're not going to get the results of what
you're seeking. You're not going to get that comfort at home, you're not going to get that relaxation at home. And this may be you know, something for our uncles, you know, back home rigidness is normal. It's part of the culture. Right? They say embrace the culture when you go back home. However, that wasn't the case of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam Yeah, ish, right. Yeah. Oh my Allah. Right. Yeah, my law. So how law right he's calling her by a nickname he gave her a nickname her May Allah remember the heavy on him a lot. He mentioned it to be the white the extremely white yeah mix of white and red. And remember that'd be interesting in his Talia for is
mentioning of this. He says we'll have other hurry one future zero till Adam and he this is rare in the Arabian Peninsula. Low island will earn more in the law as he's trying to say they'll host our cinema was telling her your rare your rare any. He's really trying to make her happy. Right. He's using a love language that she understands. But as we all know love languages. Don't make me feel like I'm weirdo.
Sir, yeah, but you know, he's talking to her in a way that's going to express affection. Make her happy, make her smile.
And, again, we're not we're not better than the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
ever then we're not better than the Prophet SAW is going to be Obi Wan me SallAllahu sallam.
And again, certain things that we mentioned. You know, people might raise their eyebrows. However, there is no shyness in the deen the prophets of Allah is Allah has mentioned the Hadith that he used to kiss his wives while he was fasting. Can you bear sure when he sat Oh saw him. Right. He used to do everything before you are right. When he was with his wife and he was fasting sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and the Hadith mentioning that the prophesy Selim is the most capable of refraining and controlling himself sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
in the Hadith, speaking about being
the best, we consider the best generally, a someone, right? Welcome one, you know, the one that prays a lot. The one that fasts a lot, you know, you know the one of the Gillette the one that's generous, that gives left and right, or virtuous actions. However, the prophets of Allah Azza wa sallam talking about being the best, right, talking about being the best Halo Halo company,
you want the best, the best is the one that's the best to the family war and Halo comm
and I am the best to their family. We all want to be the best as prophesy Selim mentioned in this hadith, right. And that comes with being the best to our families. And it's interesting if you really analyze it, and we look at this hadith.
And another Hadith, mentioning the most XML of you, or the most complete view, is the best in their character, and then mentioned theatrical fellow community said to him, and the best of you being the best. That's the rest of their family. If you analyze how do you begin upselling begins by mentioning that the most complete view right in Eman are those that have the best character. And right after that, mentioning the best of you, so the best of you and Iman, and then the best of you, in general, are the ones that are the best to the family. Let's look at the Hadith.
If someone has good character in public,
sometimes that might be simple. Right? I want to meet this brother, maybe once a week, only meet the sister, it'd be twice a week. I could put on I could put on a show.
And I could smile a couple of times so that I don't like this person. You know?
She's doesn't look good. You know, he
I don't like his lineup. He's hurtin so, you know, you just for some reason, you don't really like that person, or for whatever reason.
And you put him on the show a little bit. However, the reality living with someone for a long time, you can't put out, can't put that show. You can't fake it.
Right? So the past I said, emphasizing that if you're going to be the best, right? And you're going to be the best in faith and Amen. Right? It's going to be in your household. It's going to be with your children. It's going to be with your wife, because that's real, that you can't hide that you can't put a show. The brother Masha Allah withhold, may Allah subhanaw taala protects the mother with the film and the long beard. However, at home, he's a monster.
He's a monster. And no one wants to see him his children don't want to see him. His wife doesn't want to see him. No one wants to deal with him. But in front of the public, mashallah he makes sure he comes on time to figure out where he's early.
That's how the best because the process has told us what is the best and the best is the one that's the best to their family. Because that person can't put on that show for that long. It's going to be seen, it's going to be clear whether he's true to who he is or not.
In another narration,
being the most complete and the best to the family, the most I sent him mentioning in that same Hadith, and he was the most kind salatu salam, kindness, being gentle, being calm. All characteristics of the Prophet sallallahu sallam, but
unfortunately, right what what is this new movement called
agitate stuff was called the red pill movement. See, I was telling her brother, I said, there's something new I forgot. I can't remember. Yes, there's red pill movement.
You know?
It's not real. It's not real, because they're not our examples are examples, or the example is the prophet sorry, Salem, right? Or example is the prophet. So our cinema processing was not rigid.
He was not rigid with his wives. He was kind of a civil law and he was mentioning the best of you is the one that's the most kind to his family.
Sure, we're going to mention a couple of cases in law, before we conclude your show on Saturday, maybe will cause knowing the famous companion,
Hadith quite long. However, the prophets I seldom he was in Makkah, he was close to passing away he was really sick. And the prophesy Selim came to visit him.
And he mentioned he mentioned to him several Messiah, right? Or sad, cos he asked the prophesy Salam O Prophet of Allah, right? Should I give away my wealth? Should I give away all my wealth? Famous Hadith with certificate here? Right? So give me all my worth. It's a no. How about have no, how about a third process, Salam said with the Lusaka theme, you want them to keep money behind, and the process and I'm mentioning to them, that if you leave wealth with your family, right, it's better for you, and leaving wealth with your family and empowering them. monetarily, is better for you than leaving them into fullness, begging the people on the streets. And then the Pulsar Selim
specifically mentioned this point that I didn't, well, I when I looked at this hadith, it's interesting why the Prophet SAW Selim, how to really detail this part of the Hadith, right? He could have said, and giving your wife food he could have said, or any feeding your wife all around the same meaning how the process and want wanted to be detailed and detailed, for a reason. Had the Luma allottee turbo fee, female attic, even the
piece of food that you place in your wife's mouth, that is sadaqa very explicit, very detailed, and even the piece of food that you put in your wife's mouth.
For men, we might think, a little too much. Too much detail. person was very explicit, very specific to mention these details to us. Right? To mention these details to us, showing us how he was he wouldn't see something if he wasn't so. So perhaps SLM was clearly doing that with his family.
Showing how connected they are. They're eating together. They're giving each other food they're placing in each other's mouths.
Baby will meet a sallallahu alayhi wasallam. Again, that's the relationship that we all we all yearn for, to come home. We're all happy, we're able to sit, we're able to eat together, we're able to enjoy our company. But yeah, he went off the edge. And yeah, theurge do it. It requires struggle. That's not gonna come the first day, am I you know, shall I say,
you know, in the month of the first engagement, okay, you know, you guys have a good time going to vacation. But you know, it starts to fade away. Right? And the sisters know saying, yeah, he hammered.
Listen, hamdulillah Well, you know, the same Mohammed is before not the first one that are married. Right? It's on the brother to continue. But shallow I don't want to diverge from the topic.
So in this hadith, will clearly see the possum was explicit to mention the relationship that he's having with his wives.
It shows us that
being kind to your family, not not only is it important for the relationship, and building that bond with your family, and that love However, it's also pleasing to Allah subhanaw taala he you get double check marks. It's a win win scenario Mefi loss. And he there's no losing in that scenario, you get reward from Allah subhanho wa taala. And at the same time, you're building your relationship with your family, your kindling that love between between one another.
And
coming back to the point that I mentioned before,
and these obviously clearly, the first we said was I seldom used to kiss his wife, the prophets I seldom used to feed his wife, the past are seldom used to say kind words to his wife. All different types of Love Languages, physical
you know
Speech spoken. Have you ever sat and said, or thought? Maybe you're not? You didn't ask, have you thought? What is my wife's love language? What does she like? She liked for me to give her gifts. Is that something she really enjoys? She might say that to you, he or she does even like it. However, he doesn't even doesn't know how to get the right chocolate.
Mr.
Economical moolah. He didn't even know how to get the right chocolate for me. He doesn't know, you know, the flowers that I like. But she's just being nice to you. And he was the last time you asked her what she liked.
I told you guys, you might get upset at me today. So I apologize.
Do you even know what she likes to be called?
Do she rather be called honey or babe? Whatever she likes to be called? Did you ever ask her Do you know?
Or do you just say whatever you want, and expect that she likes it.
You have to understand, you have to understand that there's certain things that the other person is going to like. However, if you're not communicating, asking and recognizing and analyzing as well reflecting, sometimes it doesn't require you to ask any be wise, sit down and think, you know, the first time should eat the chocolate. If he or she probably doesn't like it. He probably likes another one. Right? Let me try something else. Or you can simply simply ask. But the most important thing is you're actively trying to build your relationship. You're actively putting effort to please your spouse and your partner.
For one, because that builds your relationship. But more importantly, because that's pleasing to Allah subhanho wa Taala because you want to be the best because you want to be like the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and emulate him and he was the best to his family. That's the most important
sometimes, you know, the normal sons might, you know, say they have more chivalry than us.
They're more kind to the woman folk. And you know, they have things like they open the door, and things of that sort. But yeah, he slam has chivalry too. We just don't know it.
And we see it from the face of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam with his wife, Sophia, you know who you were, she came. And this is story. Honestly, I've heard it many times. But preparing for the lecture and thinking about the Hadith really gave me another perspective of the Hadith.
Sophia, being one of the wives of the Prophet or Salam. Generally, this hadith is mentioned, talking about ship on this the end of the Hadith, right when the posts are sent one to two companions. And he mentioned to them, that in her Sophia, that this is my wife, Sophia, so that she upon doesn't get between them, make them think that the past is certainly doing something else. Or generally the hadith is mentioned in that case. But the beginning of the hadith is important to the cause itself is important. Sophia, take this in, and we're going to get to where we're on the door of Ramadan. Or during Ramadan. Sophia, she comes to the Prophet sallallahu Sallam the most with the best
opportunity to get closer to Allah azza wa jal,
Ramadan,
and the last 10 days of Ramadan.
And he Well, well we follow that link. And he was worth like if he was staying in the masjid trying to worship Allah azza wa jal.
And she comes to him, and she sits with him. And they talk for some time.
They talk for some time.
pause, take a timeout here.
The brother tells his wife that I'm gonna go to the masjid I'm going to do to calf
don't bother me. Don't call me. If the kids are dying. I don't care to take them to the emergency. I'm gonna worship this is my time for Allah azza wa jal.
The latter part Jimmy check mark any important that you make time for Allah Tabata quota Allah and hopefully people recognize that and respect that.
However, we see clearly the prophesy Salem Witch is more eager to please Allah Tabata Cotulla than any single one of us sitting here
was our Salam is the best amongst us. And he's clearly going to be the best in wanting to please Allah azza wa jal. Yet his wife comes to him at night, when clearly the that's the time the prophesy centum would worship Allah azza wa jal in the most virtuous of times the last 10 days of Ramadan. And she wants to talk to him.
She just wants to talk to him.
He didn't tell her go back home. You know, it's the last 10 days. It is screaming her. No, he entertained her. He sat with her you talk to her. And he didn't just leave it at that. She and Hadith mentioned that she got up and she wanted to leave.
And the prophesy Salem and this one I'm talking about chivalry. He accompanied her. He took with her. He did she leave her suddenly
it accompanied her sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, even though again,
he said the best time to worship Allah.
He said the best time and the best opportunity to worship Allah diabolical with Allah. But he recognized that this is worship,
you entertain your wife and speaking to her and communicating with her, if you see it as a type of worship, then that's when you're going to make it an active part of your day.
When you come home from a long day of work, you're tired,
and you just go straight to your room.
Awesome, that wasn't the character of the person, we're gonna get to that later on. But again, the beginning of the Hadith, the when you analyze it, and you see how the prophesy centum being the most eager for reward, and still made time for his family, he still made time for his family to sit and talk with them and recognize that that in itself is reward.
And that is how we're going to be the the best.
On another note, so we spoke about how the prophesy Selim expressed his love.
Also, and this is one I have to say one, sometimes it's good to be honest. You know, self reflection is very crucial.
beautifying yourself for your spouse
in the beginning, right, as we say, the talking stage, hopefully we're doing a haram we're doing a halal stuff for Allah.
We all have a slip of the tongue. Hopefully we're doing a hello
Dopler the bloopers operator
hopefully we're doing a halal inshallah.
However, in the talking stage, right, the brother, he's not gonna make it. He's gonna make sure he doesn't miss the Barbara appointment. Right? He's gonna make sure as they say, the apple is demo. It's nice. Make sure it's you know, it's he's smelling good. If he meets a family or he meets the sister, he's gonna make sure he smells good and looks good. And he the minute he gets married, Hollis the bird Barbara appointments cancel. Yeah, he $50 I'm gonna pay $50 to get a haircut. Now I'm gonna do it every three, four months.
However, you are here to get her. You know you were doing all of this. Now the minute you married her, it stops. That in itself. He is oppression. Right? Because the prophets Allah is him. He used to beautify himself. We know that the prophesy seldom used to pull on. Cohan. We know that the eyeshadow that I mentioned in the Hadith that she used to comb his hair and that she used to put bleep she used to put perfume and since his in his hair, so Allahu Allahu wa salam
Salam Salam. They even mentioned in some of the scholars mentioned this, but we know that the prophesy Salam and Aisha Lionheart, she messages in Hadith, that what was the first thing that the prophesy Salam used to do when he came home?
I'm asking this question now rhetorical Shala was the first thing that process I'm used to do when he came home.
Sorry, see, work, see work. Perfect. To be clean. Some of the scholars take it a step further. They say that he used to do that because when he used to come home, he would kiss his wives SallAllahu sallam.
Make sure he smells good.
Make sure he smells good. Make sure he looks good. sallallahu alayhi wasallam.
And
we're all fashion to want the best if he if you think your wife wants you to come and look like, you know someone on the street, I think you you're you're completely mistaken. Alright, and I kind of said this in the beginning because sometimes I'm guilty of this myself. And ask Allah subhanaw taala to help me with this. You know, we think I'm busy. I have other things to do. I'm worrying about the bills, I'm worrying about this. I beautifying yourself for your family is crucial. Because you want to do the outside. You want to make sure you want to look like someone that's from the street when you're with others. However, when it comes to you, when you're at home, you don't care.
You don't care. And this is the closest person to you, the person that you spending probably the most time during the day with. This is the mother of your kids.
Right? So it makes no sense to come home and look disheveled, and your hair all over the place and you don't smell fine. Or you don't smell okay. We don't want to go to the dentist and fix the root canal. I know brothers. Okay. How long? What besides them? The wolf is long, Stan. And I imagine he's going home to his wife and he smells like that. Right? So being presentable. Outside. We do that and that's clear. Well, Pete presentable at home is just as important if not more important, more
important, and everybody, the self, the way we are, is we want the best, your wife wants the best from you, she might not say that to you, he looks sloppy. You gained 50 pounds, go to the gym. She's not gonna say that to you cuz she respects you. But you can't notice that there's something wrong, at least at least tell yourself that study. So let's say I want to go to the gym. Right? And he said, I want to go to the gym, I want to fix my physique, I want to look healthy, all that for your spouse, hoping in reward from Allah, to Baraka with Allah. And in that case, in the case of beautify yourself, versatile the law and he mentioned that I beautify myself and this bus, clearly
understanding the guidance of the process. silom he said, I beautify myself for my wife, like she beautifies herself, for me.
Take a moment, woman might take a while to get ready and beautify themselves. I beautify myself for my spouse, the same way she beautifies herself for me. And he I put in the effort to look presentable to my family.
I look, I take effort, I put an effort to look presentable to my family.
And an interesting, he mentions the eye or references, the ayah, when Allah subhanaw taala says, destruction, or will be to those where you limit of 15
What is mortal fifth, Allah tells us, a Latina elected who Allah Nursia still full with whom a was an EU citizen.
Right? When they wait for people, then they cheat them. But however, when people wait for them, they want people to weigh them property, they want justice, but for other people, it doesn't really matter, right. And even in short, Emile himolla, he mentioned that on all facets, right? And Bess alludes to that in this point, where he says, I don't want to take
all my rights, and I don't give her her rights,
that you want rates from others, you're not going to give that same rate, I want my wife to look to look good. If he she had a daughter, or she had a child, she's a little you know, she, you know, she gained some weight, she needs to go to the gym. But I'm going to be sitting here, and I'm not gonna go to the gym, I'm not gonna look presentable. Okay, that's, it's not fair. It's not fair wanting something from somebody, specifically, you know, the person that you're living your entire life with, and you're not going to do the same thing. And you're not going to put in the same work. You know, that's, that shows a lack of care, that shows a lag of really being a man. Right? Again, we
think a man has strong muscles and all that. But it's more than that. It's more than that.
It's more than that. So he continues to say, I don't want to take my rights and not give her hers. And he mentioned that I was gonna miss Lulu, the alley hidden.
And this is honestly a corridor. This is a principle, they have the same rights in the sense that we're supposed to do good to them, that they're supposed to do good to us. We do good. And they reciprocate the good, good comes from both sides. Yeah, he comes from both sides.
Also, when the Prophet sallallahu sallam,
when he prayed to Russia, when you were to when you were to pray Russia, again, he commanded us not to talk after a shirtless we have something pressing to do. And
it said that the prophesy sent him when he would go home, he would speak with his family for a bit before he went to bed. And you've been gone the whole day, you spent hours outside, you come home, I knew you're tired. I know you're tired. But you don't even give her the person that consideration to know what happened that day, to let them tell you about their day. And how will went
to the point that some brothers are saying, I just don't want to hear this. I don't want to hear this dish, go straight to the room.
Give her the time of the day respect this person. And funny they respect the mother of your children.
And obviously, you know, brothers are looking at me, they might be looking at me say okay, this is obvious what they're supposed to do this type of stuff.
These brothers that do these things, sometimes they might not, we might not recognize it. We might not recognize that. And we might not recognize how that affects the other person.
Imagine the person somewhere to do the same thing to you. You were at home.
And they were outside.
And they were where they were to come home and they didn't see you the whole day. And they didn't speak a word to you. How do you feel?
You feel like the person doesn't really care about you. They don't value who you are as a person.
So the prophesy said when he came home, he would sit with his family and imagine
We have to look at it. When I say the Prophet was like this, imagine he is the leader of the army Cibola. He's the leader of the army. He is the ultimate leader of the believers at that time. Right? He's making sure that everything is in place. He's leading the prayer. And are you more busy than the Prophet SAW Selim?
We always complain about not having time not being able to do this, or that.
Why are we more busy than the prophesy Selim, when he was doing this with his family?
And of course, the answer is no.
Also, to add to that, that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam,
as we said, he would call his wives by names that they liked, and he would give them give them names that they liked. And this, on the same note, he made sure that he made people know that he loved his wife, right? When I'm moving in house, while they love Tyler, and he came to him. And he said, Oh, Prophet of Allah meant happiness, like, who's the best of you? Or who's the most beloved to your prophet of Allah? And he said, Are you sure?
And he said, some women, a via her father, through women, or mom, and then for second, right? I'm boss, he said, I passed, I stopped you, I didn't want him to mention me at the end. Right? Maybe he's gonna make you a bunch of people aren't going to be at the end. But he wasn't, you know, it wasn't shameful for the puffs, I have to tell him, I love my wife.
I love my wife to watch I love you.
Right. She wasn't shameful to see that I love my wife.
And to tell her that he cared about her, even with the, the companions, and again, for us, you know, I guess the younger generation that may be a little easier, right, because of the environment that we grew up in. I grew up in however, for our uncles, I know one uncle that told me, he said, I never told my wife, I love her.
He says, that's not a good thing. It's not something you're supposed to be proud of. And he's trying to say to me, like if something is good,
and, you know, sometimes, you know, you don't always tell the truth in front of somebody. Not always, sometimes, you know, it's not the time for it. It's not the time for me to advise him in that scenario.
But he was trying to come tell me as if it's a good thing. Right, as it's a good thing. Right? Or telling your children that you love them. Same thing, because I sell them and the man that told them that he didn't, he never told his children I ever loved them.
Right? Same scenario, right? So it's, we think it's Malleus we think, you know, the red pill move and all that tell us that it's something good, don't show too much affection. She's going to take advantage of you. Right? But again, the Muslim and the Muslim man specifically is guided by the Quran and the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
Inshallah, I'm going to conclude with this hadith and
again, like I said, we could talk about many facets of how the prophets are Salem was with his family and Sharla hopefully I took some some points that we can implement with our own families be in love
this Hadith also in its
itself is interesting to write and we're going to highlight some points. Even love
the hadith of eyeshadow, the Lauren Hmm. Where
she was playing with this is Yeomanry as a hadith matches the day rate. So the festivity festivities of the prophesy, Selim tells us, you know, the day that we eat and we drink, and it's the day of the cola, the remembrance of Allah azza wa jal sorry, Chateau de la she's playing with her friends at home and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he comes in again being woman you know, they're praying playing with the Deaf you know, they're they have a little drama at home and and they're playing with the drum. I
mean, you probably think process LM again the leader again it's not it's not just like regular person. It's the prophesy Selim. We think you tell them you know, just
Quiet quiet down a little bit, you know, go play somewhere else. He didn't say anything. He walked in his home or walk it over on the law. I know. He comes in and he schooled his daughter.
His model to shape on your bringing, you know the doof inside the house of the prophesy Selim, how dare you?
How dare you do this in the house of the Prophet?
Obviously the reaction of the pastor Sallam he told them to do that.
And he allowed them to play in the home until I shuffled around her, she kind of deluded
To the girls to leave.
In the same Hadith mentions that it but it doesn't mention whether it was the same day or another day. However, the Abyssinians were playing, and they were dancing. They were dancing. And Hadith mentions that either the Prophet sallallahu Sallam or Aisha asked
whether she wanted to so one of the narration mentioned, and the check is from my shoulder on her whether the prophesy Salam asked her Do you want to look or whether she said she wanted to look? Right. So she wanted to look at them playing. So either the prophesy Selim said, Do you want to look, recognizing how she logged in since she was interested?
Again, being
a forward thinker,
the way your wife doesn't have to tell you everything from the get if you need milk in the fridge, Jackie, go look.
Everyday, she has to tell you go get milk after a while, you know, figure it out.
I'm guilty of that. I have to work on that. Sharla. But, you know, after a while, call and say, you know, do we have milk, you have eggs, everything okay? Before you get home.
Alcohol, he recognized that she either was interested or the other way where she told him she was interested in seeing and then play. Then the Hadith mentions that remember the Lauren who he told that obviously needs to stop playing. Right. And the prophesy Salam, he told him Do not leave them alone. Let them play. What do you think he said that?
What do you think he said, Don't leave them alone.
Because clearly his wife was interested.
And she mentioned that obviously she was covered by the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam while she was watching them, watching them play.
But all of that first wife, and it's narrated in the report continues by mentioning that the Prophet salallahu Salam waited
right. He waited for her until she got tired. And he said how spooky Are you done? Are you satisfied you're okay watching and she said none. Then he said Weatherby
any the level of curiosity.
He he has other things to do. He's the leader of the Muslims. He could do, he would do something else. But he understood that being the best is being the best at our home now in front of your peers. He
being the best is being the best to your family members. And if you're not doing that fee Halal fee Masekela there's a problem.
If the prophesy centum is telling you the best is the best to their family. And you're not incorporating that into your life. You're not making active
moves to be better, then we haven't really understood the Sharia. We haven't understood why Allah subhanaw taala sent us this beautiful thing. And we only took a portion of it and we left a portion. Right. And Allah is telling us do Halluf is silly me Kaffir enter into this affair completely.
Take everything because everything of the deen is highly of us. I said, I'm telling you that being the best to your family is the best person that you can be.
Right? So I want us to remember that in law, that the time that we spend with our family, and the things that we do for our family is the best that we can do. Right? And that will make us the best because that's not what I said. Because that's what the Prophet SAW Selim, said, the best of the ummah.
We send our salutations upon the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam on Salli ala Muhammad, Allah Allah Muhammad came on Selita Allah Ibrahim or on early bohemian
earth or in hamdulillahi rabbil Alameen wa Salam wa salam ala Nabina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi hmm
hopefully the brothers don't take this the wrong way. Shala there's gonna be another day they get the sisters to show. I just kidding. But like Allah fika again, it's always a pleasure to be able hola and sha Allah, forgive my, you know, my jokes here and there. Sometimes they're not funny, but inshallah hopefully, you can forgive me that I'm Monica la Figo, Santa Monica Mohammed Pillai Baraka I don't know if there's any questions with the brothers me. Or Hollis Michelle monocle Africa
hamdulillah salatu salam ala Rasulillah who ala alihi wa sahbihi wa salam ala maalim Nama and fauna. One fan of Mr. Olympia now was in El Mundo Bella Ramin, we ask Allah azza wa jal to increase us in knowledge and to increase us in Toccoa. And to guide us to what pleases Him subhanho wa Taala and to be far away from what displeases Him, we asked him to pan over to ALLAH to open our hearts so that we accept the truth easily, and to distance us from the whispers of the shaytaan at the temptations of the world around us.
So, what I want to talk to you about tonight, insha Allah is the prophet Alayhi Salatu was Salam is guidance as a parent and how that can
change us and guide us in sha Allah in this life.
And of course, you may have heard that
it is important to
seek the guidance of the Prophet Alayhi Salatu was Salam in everything that we do, especially the most important matters that we face. So when you want to get married, how is he as a husband and how were his wives as wives? If you want to have a child,
you have to ask yourself, how is he as a parent? And what guidance do we have in the Quran and the Sunnah? To enlighten my path as a parent because some people when they decide to have a child, they
improvise,
the you don't know what to do with that child, you simply improvise. You have it for no really good reason no really good intention except that there is pressure on you. Because your father, your mother, your society, people around you are asking you now that you are married, why aren't you pregnant? Why don't you have a child? So because of social pressure, then you said, this is something I need to fulfill. So you have a child, why exactly, you may not be confident, but I have to, because that's the role that I have supposed to play. And if that's the role that I'm supposed to play, you don't really pay attention to how am I supposed to raise this child. So we simply
improvise. And when you improvise, you don't have a plan, you don't have a strategy. And what that means is that you just make it up on the go, this, this child of mine acts this way, I'll react that way. I'll react this way, I'll guide them in this particular matter, there is no plan, there is no guidance. And but in addition to all of this, you reproduce, how your parents raised you whether it was right or wrong, right, because this is the how you know how to raise a child, you look at how your parents he used to yell at me, she used to let a realloc method she used to deny me this, they were too strict. So I'll be strict, they were too lenient, so I'll be lenient, or you do the
opposite. They were too strict, I'll be lenient, or too lenient, I'll be strict, right. So you're responding to what they did. And sometimes you transmit the drama, and that trauma of your parents to your children. And all of that is because you're improvising.
So if you want to buy a piece of equipment and important piece of equipment, you consult how to use and if you have this young life between your hands, and your know that the words that you say, and what you choose how you react to them will shape the rest of their life, you are the greatest impact that they will have you understand this, it's a piece of clay, whatever you do with it, he could be or she could be the best person or the worst person because in the first 510 years, this is what you did, or this is what you did not do.
So it's not good enough for us to improvise, and it's not good enough for us to think or guests or make mistakes when you're dealing with a child. So by no means could any person be exhaustive in this space that is provided for us to tell you how the Prophet that is salatu salam raised his children, but I'm going to focus on a couple of points
and leave the rest insha Allah for you because if you're enticed, if you're interested, you will learn more beating Allah as the first point is
that the Prophet Alayhi Salatu was Salam loved his children, and he was expressive with his love.
And we know that about him. Alayhi Salatu was Salam because of how much he loved Isha and how much he loved al Hassan and how much he loved that Hussein and he showed that love, and people understood that he loved them. And when you show your child love them, they will react with love and they will also accept your advice and see you as a person that they could trust. So the Prophet Alayhi Salatu was Salam would say it nama Fawlty Mattoon, Biddle attune mini Fatima is a piece of me whatever hurts her hurts me. People will know this about faulty model the Allahu Ana when faulty model the hola hola Ana, once came to visit the Prophet Alayhi Salatu was Salam he stood up, went to the door,
received her walked with her and sat beside her. And as Troia buena Yeti, how are you etcetera, et cetera, et cetera.
She knew that he cared Ali, his Salatu was Salam. This is how he received her. This is how he honored her. And you know very well how he used to embrace and kiss al Hassan and Hussein out of the Allahu Anoma. And once when he was kissing one of them and a crowd nude habits. He said, I have 10 children. I've never kissed one of them.
I have 10 children. I've never kissed one of them. And he sal Allahu Allahu alayhi wa sallam said, our Emily qu in can Allah who could nessa Rama Tamim Alou become? He says What can I do if Allah had taken mercy away from your hearts?
So it is from the Rama it is from there? Yeah, it's from the kindness and from being a good parent, is that you would be close to your children. You tell them that you love them. You show them that you love them. And part of that is what attention
loving them doesn't mean lavishing them with gifts. Or whenever they say Oh Dad Oh Mom, I need to do this. I
You want to do this as a son, daughter, whatever you want, get it, whatever you want, take it, it doesn't mean spending hours and hours outside distant. And here I'm going to talk specifically to the men thinking that it's the woman's responsibility to raise the children. So it's not yours, so you're distant from your child, you leave them at home, you take care of them. Well, that wasn't really the Sunnah of Rasulullah sallallahu, ALA, you earlier, send them because he was involved, because you are responsible for them, Allah will ask you about them, how did you raise them.
So it doesn't mean I am distant, I don't pay attention to them. And then I compensate by I'll buy you this game, and I'll buy you this and they'll buy you that
lavishing them with money or with specific hours of attention, or will I still go out, let's just eat this, let's, let's hang out, and then neglect them the rest of the time?
No, it means that
you will love them. And you pay attention to them. And you sit with them. And you teach them and you eat with them and you go out with them. And they know
that you love them. You don't just simply say I love you. But they know through your practice that you love them. And when you know, and they know that you love each other, they can trust you and they can come to you, and they can confide in you. And they can tell you their secrets.
And they can be close enough to you that later on as they grow, especially during their teenage years, they can confide in you because I trust this person. And they trust me. And I know that they love me. And I know can I go back to them. And I know that I will find compassion with them, not just simply screaming and judgment. And also not just simply not just simply leniency.
So when I'm saying love them, it doesn't mean don't educate them or don't discipline them.
Right? It doesn't mean that. So don't go to an extreme.
Right. So use find that extreme. And I don't know really where it comes from. But you find that extreme where parents are too permissive.
So you want to have a smartphone.
Here it is.
You want a gaming console?
Here it is. And you're happy that you're providing all of this, because you believe or you think that you are, you're caring for your children, they're asked for something and I can provide an A gave it to them. And they're happy because I gave it to them. And you don't understand what you're doing to them. Because this is very addictive and damaging to a child.
Right? It doesn't mean love them, give them this.
It means deny them this. If you really love them. It doesn't mean bait pay, buy them a gaming console that they can grow addictive to
might as well have them be addicted to drugs.
It's an exaggeration, but at the same time, what are you doing when you're doing this?
Because you have young men who are in their teens, and 20s and 30s addicted to gaming.
And when you see when you ask their wives about what you do at home, nothing, he just plays games.
And he's in his 20s and 30s. That means that he grew up like that either without full attention, or with so much love and permission.
Right? misguided love that he wasn't raised. Right.
So I saw something I mean a few weeks ago, right?
A couple a couple of incidents, right?
And these were specifically to Arab parents, our parents and why do I mentioned the ethnicity? Because a you're not going to accuse me of being biased. If I mentioned that ethnicity, right.
So that's one. The second is there is something with our parents that I don't understand yet. And maybe other ethnicities have it, but you're not really doing a good job raising your kids. Not all of you, but some of you. So in a restaurant, two parents are talking to each other. And the kid is roaming around the restaurant. He goes and picks this throw it to the ground takes this throw it in the garbage can goes on or open the door closes the door inside of everybody and he's bothering everybody.
You seemingly except the parents.
And you wonder, Where is the discipline? Is this how you teach your child to behave in public spaces.
And you see it in the masjid as well.
Now, they may love their child so much that they don't say no to him. Or they don't care or don't don't see that behavior as offensive, but this is wrong behavior. You have to tell him No, sit down. This is wrong. This is right. That's part of loving him loving him doesn't mean let him do whatever he wants. Right?
loving him means to educate and to discipline and to guide.
Another incident, I mean, msgid not this one. I'm in a masjid, I'm sitting Friday prayer the Friday Pierre has not started yet.
Someone comes with his son. He sits in front of me and there is space beside him. His son sits to my left and there is space between us. The dad tells his son Come sit next to me. The son tells his Dad No Dad, come sit next to me.
The first thing I thought to myself, Wow, I would never be able to speak to my dad like this. I command him to come and sit next to me. Okay?
And he says, No, you come next to me. And the son said, No, come sit next to me. And I keep saying to myself, whatever happens, whatever happens, never go and sit next to him. Don't sit next to him. Then the father moves to the front of it. And he says there's some space here says Listen, no, no, no. There's a person praying there, come and sit next to me.
So what do you think happens?
who sat next to whom?
The father sat next to this son? And I said to myself, Should I say something I didn't but I Should I say something. But then I said, you're going to suffer.
You are going to suffer in the future. If he is asking if he is commanding you and you're listening to him now you are going to suffer in the future. So there is this lack of discipline. So the Prophet that is salatu salam when they say expressed love as they express love, yes, they need to have that. But also imbue that love with compassion, a discipline, son, this is wrong. This is not how you speak in public son. This is not how you behave in public. This is how you should speak and talk and relate to people and this is why and I'm telling you this because I love you. Alright, we've got a look man who live in New Haven, Hawaii, Idaho Yagoona yet to share it be law here in
America logon when are they? Well, look, man speaks to his son in the Quran. He says oh my son, yeah, when they don't commit * again, Allah in the church is a grave injustice. See, you see how he is talking to him. There is love in his speech. But at the same time, he's telling him, beware of this. And beware of this and beware of that. And that's the type of love that we want to talk about. That's the light of love, type of love, that we want to learn from the Prophet alayhi salaatu wa Salaam.
The second point, right, is that you have to raise children with integrity, and goals
in life. All right.
And we get this from the Prophet Alayhi Salatu was Salam and how he dealt with the young around him, and the type of generation that they were able to produce. So Abdullah Hypno Abbas. And he was a golem of hula means that he had not reached the age of puberty yet. And the famous Hadith that he narrates where the prophet Alayhi Salatu was Salam turns to him.
What are the Oh, hello, we have He has him sit behind him. And he said, Yeah, hola. I'm in New Aleem Oka kalimat he says oh lad, I'm teaching you few sentences. If Allah your father, preserve Allah and He will preserve you will they learn how to do to to preserve Allah and you will find him near you. Edessa LTFS le la if you ask, then ask Allah, meaning alone. Were either Stan de vista in Villa and if you seek assistance seek assistance from Allah alone. What LM and Umatilla wish them after the onion for OKB che in lemon for Oka Ellerbee che in Catawba. Hola Hola. And if all people unite to benefit you with something they will not be able to benefit you with anything except if Allah had
written that for you. And if you they unite to harm you is something they will not be able to harm you with something unless if Allah had written that against you, or if you're at a lockdown or just to sort of depends have embraced and the paper is dry.
That is a speed
teach that he had given to a lad.
Abdullah Hypno Abbas. Right.
So Abdullah Hypno Abbas remembers this, you know how heavy this thing that I've just translated, you know how deep it is, you know that if you really believe in this, you would have learned that treasure tonight. And the Prophet Alayhi Salatu was Salam spoke to Abu Abbas, not as a child,
just go and play with your friends. Just focus on trivial matters. Nada, he talked to him like the oldest adult he could find.
Because he saw something in him and he wanted something from him. So I'm teaching you, if I'm teaching you, I want something from you, right? I'm depositing something in you. And that is going to blossom later. Just listen to what I'm saying. And if you treat your child like that, as a man as a woman of substance, then they will have substance. But you have to deposit that and expect that and then model that substance.
So
Abdullah, Hypno Omar, another youngster from among the sahaba. This now with his father Omar,
and the other Hadith, where the prophet Salatu was Salam. He was saying, there's a tree that resembles the believer Which tree is it?
And the Sahaba and the senior Sahaba are sitting next to the Prophet Alayhi Salatu was Salam by the way which What tree is that?
Now you answer,
palm tree now. So I just kind of check to see if you're still with me or not. So
he said, Which tree is it? And the scenery of Sahaba nobody could guess. And Abdullah have known Omar, and he's young. And he's present. And he says, her walk if enough see a Nana, I thought it was the palm tree. We didn't say a thing. And the Prophet sallallahu sallam said, it's the palm tree. So when they left he told his father Omar, he says, Father, I thought it was the palm tree. It says Why didn't you say something? It would have been dear to me then this in that if you had said something.
And Abdullah had no Omar said, I saw that Abubakar and you did not speak. So I did not want to speak.
And I want you to see dissect this take it apart to understand the beautiful parts in it. First of all, why did Omar take Abdullah his son to be in the company of the Prophet alayhi salatu salam,
because he's gonna learn something. He's no longer a child. So if you treat them as idiotic children, they're going to be idiots for the rest of their life. But if you elevate, they'll be elevated. If you sublimate, they will be sublimated. If you talk to them as adults, they will be adults. If you inject into their minds, higher concerns, they'll have higher concerns. Of course, they can still enjoy their childhood. But they have to sit with adults. So when you're sitting with adults at home, and you're discussing things of importance, have your children sit next to you let them listen to you how you talk and what you're talking about. Don't shove them away. Don't have
them just sit with other children, or worse, be glued to a screen and thinking that is going to educate them. And then later on. Why don't my children listen to me? Why are they thinking so strangely? Why are they distant from Islam? Why don't they respect me? Where were you to teach them all the important things in their lives? You were distant?
And if you are not actively injecting something, guess what? They're not going to remain empty. Does anybody remain empty? You have to take things inside, then who's teaching? And who's guiding and who's filling their heads? And what priorities do they have? Because if it's not you, it's somebody else. And sometimes we think it's everybody's responsibility but me, you know, what am I going to do? I'll send them to the weekend school. I've done my job. We can dislike your school, I've done my job. Really?
I'm going to have them go and memorize the Quran.
The teacher has done my job for me, because I have money I can pay really. No one can do your job for you. If you're the father or the mother no one can take your place
and they will have a gaping hole in their life if you're absent always.
So Abdullah have neuroma
didn't say anything why? He says my elders didn't say anything. And that's another edit. Where did he get that from? Miraculously No. He knows
his father who for his father is, and he absorbed the edit from his father. So if a lot of us, right,
want our children to be the best, then we have to be what?
The best? And you want them to be educated Islamically then who is going to educate them? Except you? And I?
I mean, I don't mean me, I mean, like, you, right? Whoever is the father, you have to do it, no one else. But then you have to know, you have to learn. And that means that you learn beyond attending
the Friday prayer.
What are you going to learn in half an hour each week?
And it's beyond just attending conferences. So we have 1234 conferences that you will attend annually? Is that enough? That's it four days, in a year, eight days a year? That's it. That's the limit of your learning. What else are you adding? To your knowledge about Allah and the Prophet? What else is reminding you of Allah and the Prophet and of the hereafter? daily and weekly and monthly, so that you could remind your children? What program do you have at home
to produce people like the sahaba.
So the Prophet Alayhi Salatu was Salam had those examples?
And when he would go to a battle like the Battle of better or the Battle of those young men,
with come to enlist, with come to join Abdullah Hypno, Omar.
Oh, my God, I have no idea what cause Oh, my goodness, because he was 16 in the Battle of bed.
And the prophets Allah is sitting in was reviewing those who wanted to fight. And he saw him only 16 years old.
And he dismissed him, he says, go back and he started to cry.
It says, Why are you crying? He says, I'm always afraid that you're going to dismiss me, I want to be in that battle. I want Allah to give me shahada martyrdom is a join.
And he was killed.
But how do you have a child?
Who has those types of goals in life?
How do you have a child that thinks beyond the next meal, or the next game? Or the next match?
Who carries the burden of other Muslims around him? Who wants to accomplish great things in life not to glorify himself, but to help everybody around him? How do you create that being? If you're not yourself, that type of being and if you don't educate them to be that type of being?
So what do we want from our children? And it goes back to the first thing that we mentioned, which is, what's the intention behalf behind having that child simply to fulfill a social obligation or a biological need? Or do you want something out of them? And if you want, say, if you want to say I want something out of them, what is this thing that you want out of them?
Do you simply want them to be doctors and engineers and lawyers? Do you simply want them to have a lot of money? Do you just simply want them to repeat a cycle that you went through? They go they graduate they get married, they have children and so on and so on and so on, meaning only earthly concerns? What is it that you want from them?
Or do you want them to be people that will lead you to Jannah? take you to heaven? Do you want them to be people who will assist others around them? Do you want them to be people who could sacrifice their lives for a greater good? Do you want them to be people who please Allah azza wa jal
or please people around when SUTA Eman
Alayhis Salam
in the story. The Prophet Alayhi Salatu was Salam
told us he said, I will sleep tonight with such and such women so that each one of them will conceive to bring a soldier who will fight for the sake of Allah.
Why did he want to have children?
Because these children will grow up to serve the religion of Allah Zota
to be close to him subhanho wa Taala
What did Zakaria Alayhis Salam ask ALLAH SubhanA wa Tala when he was asking for a son.
He said he had a thorny wiry thumb in earlier coupe he will inherit me and inherit the family of Yaqoob
inherit what
you tell me
the men answered right. Okay women say inherit what is that I want us a progeny to inherit the earth Tony in
inherit me and inherit the family of Yaqoob inherit what?
They're our name Islam and prophethood. And that's what it is. Now money.
Not what I have a lot of money, I must have children so that they could inherit me. I don't mind my effort to go to waste. No. It is the Islam that this entire family of Yaqoob had carried. I want him to continue that mission. I want him to live for Allah azza wa jal. I want him to be pleasing to his parents and pleasing to Allah subhanho wa taala. So if this is an intention, and by the way, if you're not yet a father or a mother, that should be your intention, biological needs social needs, all fine. But also can we make your child for Allah azza wa jal?
Can we can you say I want this child to be raised to be pleasing to Allah as origin. And if Allah blesses you with one,
then you commit yourself to that, and you commit yourself to that by doing two things. One, you will become that person. Because you cannot give what you don't have.
And they're going to look at you.
So you become that person.
And the second thing you learn,
you learn to do that you'll be able to teach, right? And by learning we mean really deep learning of Islam.
So you attend the masjid and you bring your child with you.
And you have them be used to the salah he used to the Adan and bring them at an appropriate age. I don't mean drag them when they're not ready. Bring them at an appropriate age but with discipline with respect in the house of Allah azza wa jal
and have them be used to the Adana use the Salah, pray next to you.
And when you go home, you teach them
and then you send them to a masjid that will teach them.
And you learn Islam and you take it seriously.
And you have to take Islam seriously, but because I don't think we have time to waste.
And the reason why I don't think that we have to waste time to waste is because you know what's happening around us.
You know, what the people of Gaza are going through?
There was one interesting comment, right that person had, which I think was a strong comment and important common to remember his thing that he says, What is alarming is not what is happening to the people of Reza at this moment. It's because we can see our future through them.
Is because you see them being slaughtered, and no one around is moving to hell. Right? Everyone is paralyzed, no one is helping, which he sees that is going to duplicate itself and spread. And when it happens to us, everybody will be standing around watching. And we will be pleading, where are all the Muslims? Where's all the help? Where's this humanity? How can we could be going through all of this and no one feels for us. And you'd be watching somebody in another country having tons of fun, but no one will care about you. Right?
He says you can three see your future through it. And what is even more devastating, he says is that at least there there is a tension. But when it's gonna happen through MMA to Muslims by Muslim hands, no one is going to pay attention to you it's going to be an internal matter. How much do we know about Sudan?
Right? Millions were displaced, right? No one pays attention right?
So this is not to diminish one in terms of the other No, no, no, this to say, you don't really have time to waste Allah azza wa jal had shown you physically visibly inside your home, the future.
And you either going to raise a child who is going to be an instrument in preventing injustice, and fighting for justice, or you are an any excuse me for saying this, I don't want to be pessimistic or you're going to be raising a child who he or she or they will give birth to a he or she who will be bombed like the people in a zoo. So it's up to us. Either we're going to be strong and be serious about our faith
and uphold it. And stay away from what angers Allah azza wa jal and say I am individually responsible for what is happening to them.
If you can't help them, at least help yourself by being a good Muslim
by being a Muslim
Whose dua could be accepted
by being a Muslim who stays away from sin, because sin invites Allah's Anger. So if you're not going to at least help over there, don't invite Allah's Anger. And when you're going to raise or bring a child into this world, make him a child that will help
not derail
a child that will be an asset, not a liability, a child that will help others not be begging help, I'm addicted to this and addicting to that I am the worst to my spouse, I am the worst of my child. And now we have other people that we need to treat and take care of.
Be a person who will be a light. So the example of the Prophet Alayhi Salatu was Salam is there to do what to illuminate.
So if you're a parent, or a yet to be a parent, and you want to know what to do, read the book of Allah that he had revealed to you. And see the Sunnah of the Prophet that he had sent to you, and see how he lived and how he raised and what type of people he produced. And don't be a parent until you're ready for it.
And I don't mean you need a PhD to be ready for it, but a commitment to Allah and a commitment to raising them right. And if you're willing to change and be a better human being because of it and a better Muslim because of it, then you're ready to be a parent.
And keep asking questions
about obstacles that you will face, keep reading books about how he treated people around, keep reading books about a dub yesterday we were talking about,
about how manners and learning character in Islam can save a marriage and bless it. How learning how to control your anger, how to forgive, how to overlook people's mistakes, how to wish the best for them all part of the Arab that you will find in the Quran, in the life of the prophet Alayhi Salatu was Salam. But if you don't learn it, you will not be able to reproduce it. So learning about other learning, especially about edip with your spouse, okay? Although that is really not our topic today.
But it does affect your children, when you are arguing with your spouse in front of them.
That should never happen.
The Edit should be if you have an argument if you want to talk about something you will draw to the bedroom. There you talk about it but the children don't witness
you being angry and abusive and towards him or towards her.
So your children are an Amana
and the Prophet Alayhi Salatu was Salam he said that Allah will ask you about that Amana
and if I am going to be asked about my neighbor and about my spouse and I did not get to raise them.
Think about how much Allah azza wa jal will ask you about a child.
All right. And lastly, inshallah I just want to say that I'm if I'm being a little hard on parents, just forgive me, okay. Don't be offended by it. I really want the best for everybody. Some parents are entitled
just because their parents, okay, meaning just because I am your mother. You got to listen to everything I say. Just because I am mother. Anything if you disagree with me, that is disrespect. Just because I'm my your father, you got to do everything I say.
And they have that expectations without fulfilling their duties
without caring for their children.
And I say it goes both ways.
As there is a coke when it comes from the children to the parents, like of kindness, cruelty, not being dutiful, obedient, there is a coke that goes from the parents to the children.
And there's famously someone
was sailing his son.
That is what you read in the books,
is telling his son, he said, You are disobeying me or Lukka dakak Danny Kabira
and he said, Father, you mean young in your in my old age, you're mistreating me.
He said but because Father because in my
young age, you mistreated me.
And I'm not excusing any mistreatment.
If somebody, someone mistreats, you, it's not a cause for you to mistreat them back. What I'm saying is that you'd really reap what you saw.
If you deposit this, you're gonna get it back. And you're not just simply entitled, just because I gave birth to them now and then neglected them that somehow I own them. No, you gotta put the effort, you gotta educate, you gotta be patient, you're gonna wish the best for them, you have to listen to them, you have to be close to them. And only then could you claim that right? So this is what I want from you. Not to have them and neglect them and then wish for everything from them, but to have them and take responsibility for them. And then you will see what pleases you from them.
And by the way, right, you only have them for a few years. And then they're gone.
So a little bit of patience, a little bit of dedication, a little bit of knowledge and a little bit of questions when you don't know, admission that I don't know what I'm doing as people who know and a lot of do.
And then Allah azza wa jal with his help would bless your kids for you. So as a lot of Bill Alameen, or hamara hai mean to make us of those who seek the guidance of Muhammad Ali Salatu was Salam and to make us the best of parents and the best of children and the best of Muslims and to enable us to raise the next generation that be better than our generation and who will champion Islam throughout a whole Holy hell that was the whole body odor come Salam alaykum warahmatullahi
ala Leo
but the bad model by the shift medicine,
but there's a shift but in Malaysia. Okay, inshallah. So inshallah so I mean, just the change in schedule, shift, Matson will speak and then we're going to be praying Aisha, that's what he had just informed me. So if anyone has any question on the brother side,
or anyone on the sister side, Inshallah, just let me know?
Do I see a hand? Yes. I see more than two.
I can hear you. I'm sorry.
No, no, it's okay. If you can just come here. Just hear
you say where she's sitting here. Yeah. And that chair.
I think I can probably hear you
to honor the mother.
Okay, so the question is,
as a sibling, as an aunt, have a mother or a father?
Someone related to them? And you notice that they failed to discipline their kids for whatever reason, right? What is your role? What can you do to help? Now of course, I mean, it all depends on the dynamics within that family? How close are you to them? Because sometimes there is in some families enough space that the and is just like the mother. And I mean, figuratively, literally, she could just go and slap the kids around, and that'd be fine with the mother. Right? Again, not advocating violence, but I'm just saying as a figure of speech, that you could do this, right? See, I'm very cautious when I speak. I'm not advocating this. I'm not advocating that so that nobody can
cut this and say, Okay, anyway. So first, it depends on the dynamics. So if you're allowed
intervention, then you can intervene.
If not, how close are you to your sister or to your brother? Could you talk to them and say, This is what I'm seeing. And it's really not working. And I can foresee that in that it's going to develop into a greater problem in the future. If you don't do this, this, this, this this.
Hopefully, hopefully that
to kind of wake them up, and if it really, if it is said in a spirit of love and compassion, and maybe they will accept it, but at least I think this is you owe that to them. If you're seeing that there is a problem that you address that problem, even if that makes them a bit angry with you, because it's better that they be angry but wake up versus suffer the consequences later. So if they allow you intervention then intervene but if not at least advice.
Yeah.
Well, you
study psychology.
And I know that some of
us go
to the future we
want
to do you think about this point is what goes wrong. Because the psychology is very important, believe it then as
you will never ever
just like he is desperate.
Now, so brothers, this is a comment. He says, we really have to learn and understand the psychology of the children, because they're very fragile. And he brings the example of the son of Noah had a Salam and how he disobeyed his father, and was a disbeliever. So it's important to try your best of course, that's the point that you try your best and the rest is up to Allah azza wa jal, but don't because I've heard that not related to you, but somebody else who would say, Well, you know, even the child of no disobey. So it's all in the hands of Allah azza wa jal as if this is an excuse for us not to do our job. No, you understand, you understand how much No, he did. Right? You understand?
He stayed 950 years giving dower right. So when it comes to his family understand the amount of effort he must have spent, so you do this and then you say it's all in Allah's hand, right? Not leave the camel untied and say if it's lost, right? If that's the case, then don't lock your homes and don't lock your cars and just throw your money around. Right?
anyone has a question for Lily
I'll come closer.
A photo of us
working for
you.
Okay, insha Allah. So, first one was a recommendation that we need to have or develop marriage counseling, especially for the new generation that this is something that is desperately needed. So this is just a request I'm conveying insha Allah.
And I understand how complicated it is, but at least I'm conveying the request in sha Allah may Allah azza wa jal, you know, enable us to fulfill that. Another question while I was there, how do you balance between deen and duniya? Right so that you're not imbalanced in your
and how you raise your children. And that is an important thing. Because too much emphasis on one is problematic, right? Too much emphasis on one creates that imbalance and then rebellion. If there's too much emphasis religiously without that wordly outlet, then the children will rebel. So the problem with a lot of work, the outlet is what that there's a lot of haram in them too. So that requires that a, the more involved you are in their entertainment in addition to the education but their entertainment, the better it is. So it's not simply I'm too tired or too distant or I want to just be with my friends. So go do things on your own and I'll be busy to be involved in the creation
of that entertainment, seeking asking questions, seeking friends, better friends, seeking a community seeking activities, creating those activities. It is a lot of work, and I know mothers right
For our homeschoolers, I mean, they are mothers and doing homeschooling, and they create these activities for their children. And it's not easy. Okay. But at the same time, it's possible they go out with them, they go out and take them to their friends, they seek out activities. And they do this without of the, a lot of the modern technology that all of us are addicted to. So they could draw, they could run they could, there are a lot of things that can be done, but you need to push and if you push, you can find them. So again, I'm not saying it's easy, breezy, as you can just going to find it, it requires effort. But if it's something of value, it must be a little hard,
right? But if you patient push and ask Allah for assistance, then Allah will assist you. And you have to believe that right? If you push, put an effort and ask Allah for assistance, Allah will assist you within that as urgent.
The fathers responsibility and importance of helping the mother to discipline the child, especially teenage sons, please give advice for this to the Father. Question from a disappointed mother. I think we talked about it right? We said that that happens with the with fathers with men, and they do have complaints about it. He thinks that it's just simply my job to discipline them, to teach them. So in a sense, as we say, he washes his hand and he just leaves he was just b2b with his friends, or in front of this or in front of that, but he does not take care of them. And the problem, I'm saying to refer to the Father, if you do that, you are going to lose them, you're going
to lose them not only as friends, because these could be your best friends, you will lose them as friends, but also later on, you will lose them as your children, they could lose their faith, they could have bad character, they may not have good marriages, they may be bad parents, you could lose them as human beings, you as a father to your son, specially you're about the most important man or figure in his life at one day at one part of his life, you are the most important figure in his life, he is seeking you. And wherever the father is absent, you see it in the development of that child you see it, and how we relate to other people how he cannot relate to other people you see it.
So you cannot just simply say it is her job. She has a role to play, but you must play that role. And again, I don't know, you'd understand that Allah will ask you about it. Where were you? Why did you not take care of him? Why did you not give him that advice? Why do you do not see that mistake, you understand that Allah will tell you, I will ask you about it. So it's not just simply now about yourself. You know, receiving the news of a child is one of the best things that you could hear, but at the same time is could be one of the scariest things that you could hear. Because now you're responsible for everything that this one is going to do. And now you have to be up to the task. So
you know, please, any I know, I know. It's not easy. I know. It's not easy. I know everybody is overworked and exhausted.
But then what what are you going to do with them? Have them and neglect them? You're going to pay the price later.
So yeah, need for Allah sake and for your own sake and for their own sake, be involved and take care of them. And it's never ever too late. I don't care if they are in their 30s or 40s. You call back and you say sorry for this. Sorry, I wasn't this sorry. I wouldn't didn't notice that I realized this. Let's make up for it. Now. It doesn't matter to hear these words. Right?
If a person was
an inner because of marriage, I'm sorry what? But repented and lives a righteous life a sinner because of before marriage and repented and living a righteous life now, will his sins still affect his children? At his said if the children are raised with haram earning
the outcome of the hide will be the same. So
if you repent the No.
So the sister here is referring to hadith of the prophet Ali. So that was salam Kulu mal in Alberta mean Hara, Amin Fernando Abu Dhabi. So every body that had been reared or raised with haram, then
Hellfire is most worthy of it. So is this pre repentance or post repentance? This is pre repentance. So if you committed sins, and you repent from them, and you're done, you're done with those sins, as long as the sin is what?
Sincere. Now if part of that money belongs to somebody else, meaning you stole it from them, you need to return it. So these are people
was rites. But if it was earned from other ways, and it was sinful, but now you repented, then you're done with that. And Allah azza wa jal is not gonna affect your children because of that money that you're spending on them. But you need to repent otherwise, no. And so just talking about hate on food, this reminder also, because it's a reminder about Halal earning, whatever you can to feed your children matters. Matters. Exactly. Yeah. So welcome, Jessica.
Thank you so much for the lecture, mainly, it was about parenting at home, it would be great if you can, maybe a few minutes a spend on parenting beyond the home, especially at the societal level and the importance, because we live in a society that is not always friendly to our culture and to our rituals. And we have seen movements, for example, when the church has happened to the curriculum, movements from right and left participating in marches. Unfortunately, the level of party participation of Muslims was not was very shy. So what's the Islamic perspective on being an active member, not only at the community level, but at the same societal level as well doesn't look okay,
and shall Zakka law here, I mean, it does fall beyond the realm of what we talked about. And I understand what you're saying, applying pressure outside the borders of the home, so that whatever the children are being taught outside conforms, or at least doesn't contradict whatever we are teaching them at home.
It's definitely we need to have arms or mean segments of the society that is well aware of what is happening outside and well positioned to be able to resist it or apply pressure or come back to the community and inform them and say, This is how you're supposed to act. And this is how you can apply that pressure. And it is only when that happens, and we become aware of how to participate, will we be able to participate, I'm probably not the best person to address that topic. But what you bring is an important point, which is that you have a lot of forces working against you.
And so you can't be sitting back saying let public school educate my children or alert the media, or social media, educate my children. These are not innocent neutral platforms. They have agendas. Everybody online has an agenda, right? Right or wrong. I mean, they're paying money for their message to reach you. And what they want is the minds and the hearts of your children. Or anybody who's going to listen. So if you're sitting back allowing them to digest all of this, they're going to turn to be monsters that you don't recognize monsters in the sense of what kind of thing do you believe? And how could you think like that? How could you think like that, but they could think like
that? Because he didn't teach them how to think. And you cannot just leave simply assume or they are Muslim, they're going to continue to be Muslim. So learning how to think priorities in life. You're a Muslim. Why? What does it mean? And this is more critical here than it is in a Muslim country, though it's the most it's still important in a Muslim country. So any learning to hate when we say to people do you understand to hate?
You see Leila Allah Mohammed. undersupply. Yes, it says no, that's not enough. Why? Why not either hate Lola based on what La Ilaha illa Allah that why Allah is one and not many, whatever it is, do you have for that? Since there in the Quran but when we read the Quran, we don't understand what Allah is saying to us. So how is Allah When did you contemplate the world around you? The universe, the sun, the moon, that matters, by the way, because Allah talks about it. So if you teach people to hate their email would be strong enough to resist these temptations outside if you teach them what is right and what is wrong sexually, they'll understand but they need to be educated at home and
educated with some detail. And if you say Well, I'm just an average Muslim I don't know you then you come to the masjid and you say we need this we need this and then somebody will teach it with Nila as well but you find a solution inshallah.
Okay
are we done with questions
are we I'm not complaining but you gotta pay me extra
says just stole what are you I mean what do you mean stole
somebody else's got me. Oh, are they the shifters here? Then that out? And oh my
god. I don't know. No, no, I mind the momentum. I've done more momentum and then they're not paying extra so
save all of your important difficult questions for this shape, right like the most difficult or embarrassing question
him to him right okay
Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato Smilla Manuel Haman hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala COVID Mursaleen so you didn't have Muhammad Ali he was happy as my no bad first I need a piece of information when should I stop?
Nada what's give me a specific time inshallah we can.
A kid this
for
the kid Mittwoch kid with mana
hamdu lillah wa salatu salam ala Rasulillah Allah Allah He was having in Walla Walla Babu. It's interesting as we talk about our beloved prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa salam, that when you get in every area of his life, there is so much richness.
That it seems as though you're talking about a different person, when you talk about a different area, still coherent and consistent.
I will draw on what she highly Zola Heron mentioned about especially when he was answering the questions about the father, being in the house, being with the children, being an important part of their life, actually, if not the most important part or person for the father and the mother, the most important people in the life and the most present the most present in the life of their child, because he who spends most time with your child are most likely going to be the biggest influence. So when they grow up, you sort of can tell what type of person your child is going to be. What is most, where does most of their time go? What is the biggest influence who is the influencer that
spends not influencer online, but in their life, who is spending the most time with them? This takes me because I was given the subject of talking about the leadership of the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam as the leader and I would like to start with the Hadith of the messenger Alayhi Salatu was Salam, which we all know, the Prophet SAW Selim says, could look Umrah and what could look homeschooled on under a yeti for Roger Laura and V. Beatty, who must hold on under a year to he will not autora yet when fee bait is OG how he is all that went under and yet here
in FL Hadith, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam says each one of you is a shepherd.
Each one of you is a shepherd, sometimes we translated as a leader. Yes, it has this aspect of leadership
for Raju, and you will be questioned, you are responsible, you're responsible about those who are under your leadership.
The man in the house is a shepherd, and he will be questioned about the members in his family. And the woman in the house of her husband, she is in charge, she's a shepherd, and she will be questioned about her responsibility, and so on and so forth. That's the basis of leadership in Islam.
The basis of leadership in Islam is what again, what Chef was talking about here about the father, being a leader in the life of his wife, and the leader in the life of his children.
And the reason children turn out to be not what we want, and not what we desire for them. That just points clearly and squarely to the fact that the leadership of the Father is under question. It doesn't have to be fully wrong. But it actually the our side should go first and foremost, to the Father, did he fulfill his responsibility where he was he a good leader for his child? did he fulfill that kind of responsibility? So and there is an issue when we talk about leadership because today leadership Subhanallah has been hijacked by business by the corporate world. So now if you look up leadership, or if you search for courses on leadership, you're gonna find it's mainly
business leadership. It's mainly business leadership. So the concept has been hijacked. So most of the literature most of the theories of leadership that are countless in number, you're gonna find them that they have to do with business. Why? Because this is where the money is. And people mostly do it for the money. But in Islam leadership is a is a big part of the human society is a big part of religion is a big part
of the human experience in general, and it's not transactional in the first place. It's not about business in the first place. Leadership is such a great thing that we need to understand because leadership is not about position you are everyone in their own capacity is in a place of leadership and who better than the Prophet SAW Salem to look for, or to look up to, if we want to understand what leadership really is. So as a function of leadership being hijacked by business and the corporate world, you will find
most of leadership training is about leadership skills. And these are surface skills, and they are skills of influence, how to persuade people, how to motivate people, how to get a buy, in how to get people, your followers, your employees to do what you want them to do. That's one of the most famous definitions of leadership by the way.
But the reality of leadership
of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam and by the way, at some point, maybe not not so much today, but previously, maybe about 10 years ago, there was an interest in leadership, global interest in leadership, and parents would approach Imams, they would approach masajid, they would approach Muslim organizations, they would approach you, and they would approach even schools, asking for leadership programs for their children.
There's a lot of youth leadership programs, there's a lot of children leadership training. And if you go, if you happen to attend any of those leadership training, they are about what they're about surface skills.
They're about time management. They are about influence how to convince people how to persuade people, it's about how to manage tasks. But that's, that's all business oriented. That's all business oriented. So this is, I think, this is one of the reasons why we have an issue. And let's talk about the Muslim community. In general, when I say Muslim community, I'm not talking about Muslim Muslims living in the West, only, I'm talking about the Muslim ummah, in general, we have a crisis when it comes to the Father, upholding his responsibility as a leader.
And it's not about the father not fulfilling the responsibility. It's about the Father, not being aware of that responsibility, not appreciating not knowing what he is obliged to do, what he is responsible for.
If you lack the awareness, how are you going to invest in this, if you think it's not your job, to have this kind of positive influence on your child, to make sure make sure that your child gets the rights, the rights upon you in terms of education, in terms of guidance, in terms of connection, personal connection in terms of your presence in their life, if they are not getting this?
And sorry, you're not aware of this, you don't even think it doesn't cross your mind that this is an obligation, you think the school will do it, the teachers will do it, the local Imam will do it, the Quran teacher will do it.
Or the weekend school will do it.
So what's your role as a father,
a vending machine or a cash machine, just pay for these activities. That's not what the Father is, Allah could have said, as a parent or as a father, just provide just pay for the expenses of your kid. But Allah didn't say that.
Allah entrusted you with your child now how you go about finding the best way of fulfilling this responsibility drawing on the help of the community, of the Imam of the Quran, teachers of the teachers in school of other good influence, other positive influence in the life of a child, you can you can you can tap into all of this, but still does not absolve you that you are the person number that was responsible as number one in the life of your child and the upbringing of your child. That's your leadership. That's your leadership.
So as we you know, has just emphasized what leadership is and it's more human than they have made it to be in the literature. Now, it's not about business. And it's not about running organizations. And it's not only about running countries, all of us, each one of us is in a position of responsibility. So you are a leader in that sense. Now, who do we look to in order to understand what leadership is and maybe try to bring it into our life? Obviously, the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam, the leadership of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam does not start with his public life. And that's where more people most people go wrong. As I said, people for leadership training, they want
to learn tactics of manipulation, a lot of leadership has become manipulation. Have to how do you get people
Pull to do what you want. But there's nothing you know deeper than that. The leadership of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam started in his private life.
If you want to be a leader, like the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam as he was, during the day, in the daytime, you also have to aspire to be like the Prophet sallallaahu Salam in the nighttime.
If you want to be a leader, like the prophets or Solomon, his public life, you have to be like the Prophet salallahu Salam in his private life.
If you want to be a good leader as the prophets of salaam was in the way he carried himself in the actions that he fulfilled in the decisions that he made.
Then you also have to be like the Prophet salallahu Salam as he was in the inner life of his heart.
You can't separate those, you can't get this without that. They go hand in hand, actually the birthplace of the public excellence of the prophets Allah salaam, his beautiful example. The birthplace was in his heart and in his private life, that's the secret. But you know, we are always a fan of mimicking the external manifestations of things.
Now, I have a question for you.
Is there a reference in the Quran
or the Sunnah of the Prophet SAW Selim that speaks directly to the nature of leadership? What is leadership? Anyone is aware of any of those?
The nature what is leadership? What does it constitute?
Does Allah speak to that? Does Allah tell us leadership is this and this and that?
Okay, love that cannula. Configure Shula in the profit sauce on the messenger of Salam there is an n a good a good example. But we want a definition of leadership. When something to help us understand leadership, that's what we asking about.
So all of you the Hadith that we quoted, each one of you is a shepherd is a leader and responsible so responsibility Goodstart responsibility. What else?
Another Hadith, another verse.
I will come. Hola Juana is responsibility. Okay, cool. But does Allah or the Prophet Salam speak about leadership using an Arabic word? And then defines it or talks about what it what it really is what it contains? How to achieve it.
Who's speaking put your hand up? Yeah.
What's another LaMattina Imam and make us an Imam, an imam for the righteous. What does Imam mean?
The sense lead leader in a sense leader but actually something something more about leader is leadership but a specific type of leader. Is there anything else?
Hands up sisters? Nothing Okay.
Humility.
Okay, so the question is not what is in leadership? Is there a specific verse or Hadith where Allah talks about leadership Surah says,
Who knows Surah two says
put your hand up inshallah. No bragging you just put your hand up.
So at this stage, I want someone to help me come complete this verse. What do you mean home?
Inmitten Yeah, do you wanna be a marina
lemma Saba oh,
what can be a attina up known translation of the meaning what do you mean him and we made from among them Imams leaders.
Vanguards. Vanguard's,
would you imagine Yeah, do wanna be Emelina they guide with our command with our guidance the guide others they influence others without guidance lemma when Allah is going to define leadership for us here. landmass or borrow what can all be a yachtie Now you will know when they achieved SABR patience and they reached your teen your teen social Islam Ibn Taymiyyah Rahim Allah Who to Allah he says in a beautiful statement. He says believe me. Be Sabri will we attain? Sabri? Will we attain to Matt to national imam or to 15
with suburb patients
And the attain
what is you're paying
the highest level of knowledge, the highest level of certitude, the highest level of realization. That is not knowledge you heard or knowledge you will read it's knowledge that you have figured out for yourself.
So he says Bill Bill Sabri Wilier teen with Saba and with your teen
to now will Imam at Ophidian leadership in matters of religion are at is attained.
So Allah Samantha is telling us leaders are made up of these two
prominent traits, suburb and 18 and if you look at the Prophet salallahu ad he was seldom as rich as his public life was his private life was Richard
Salam Alaikum This is emergency. So Mercedes C H f x 027. Could you please move your car immediately because we will try and is trying to pick up a sister and they're not able to do so. So please please please move your car Mercedes white, CHF x zero to seven
so Bill, Bill Sabri will your teen tonight will remember to be Dean. So leadership, let's modernize the word the statement. Leadership in matters of the religion and matters of the Dean guidance, the guidance of people and Dean is not something that is separate from life is not separate from life. And let me infringe on the question that was asked to share I live with it. Inshallah, he will give me that in the letter Hala he, he gave a good advice about it about the balance between life and religion.
There is no balance between life and religion.
The question is wrong.
If you try to balance life and religion, you will struggle for the rest of your life. And you will not do well. Especially in your religion.
You know why? Because you've separated your life from religion.
That's the prescription for disaster and religion.
There's no separation between your life and religion. You are alive for Allah.
You are alive to worship Allah.
So everything in your life should be part of that project. And if it's not part of that project, it takes away from Allah's right and your life. Period. So it's not like my life here and my religion is here. And I need to find a balance. No, your religion is here. That's why you're here. Your life is part of it, it fits into it. And your job is to find how your your work, your family, your finances, your social life, how all of that fits into the religion. If you don't do this, I'm telling you, you're going to struggle, you're going to have a lot of stress in your life, and you will make a lot of bad decisions. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam going back to the
leadership with the prophets of Salaam, he was a manifestation. He was a manifestation of these two traits or sub until your team and the leadership of the Prophet SAW Selim started when before Islam, Allah was preparing him. And Allah was preparing him how by developing and expanding his private life. This is why he spent so much time in Valhalla, the cave of Hira contemplating, thinking, searching for the truth. And this was his journey to Yaqeen. This was his journey to Yaqeen to achieve your dream, this is how it started, then, it did not happen overnight. For many years, the Prophet of Islam was contemplating what searching for the truth was calling upon Allah to guide him
and to show him the truth.
So that journey to your deen took time, he didn't give up on it. He didn't see immediate results. What does that tell you? patience, persistence. He stayed true to the cause, even when he was not seeing immediate results. That's patients that's a suburb. So two of them started being achieved in his life. Then the revelation came to the Prophet sallahu wa salam and the dean started. But so long journey, still a long journey for the prophets of salaam throughout his life, your teen was reaching higher level every time.
And then throughout this when the prophets of salaam was given that powerful experience with Jabril it was difficult it required patients to handle it. Then when he was given the mission
there was it was a huge mission. It was a very heavy undertaking. He required he needed to patience and this is what Allah subhanaw taala said to him Fosbury flop mela big international Zelina and
Quran atan Zilla, right? We are the ones who revealed just a colloquial the Quran to you. First barely hook me Arabic What are two terminal mathematic for be patient for the Command of your Lord, be patient with the command with the responsibility that Allah gave you. You need patience, the prophets on Salam faced opposition, he faced ridicule. He faced slandered, his companions were killed. They tried to kill him. They conspired against him. They tarnished his reputation. The Prophet SAW Selim was patient, he never even, you know, tried to avenge himself, patients,
for better forbearance, he could put up with all of this, this is a suburb, this built his capacity. And look at the Prophet salatu salam, as the title is leader of a community, the Prophet salallahu Salam was not just passionate and go out and just scream Oh, you are doing injustice, you're killing my companions? No, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam through his European understood when Habib came to him of hubbub came to the Prophet Solomon, he said, O Messenger of Allah make draft for us. Don't you see what we're going through? Don't you see what we're going through the pain the companions were going through. They were burnt on hot coal.
huge, massive rock was put in the chest of Billund. He was dragged naked in the streets of Mecca and he was saying, Allah, Allah, I heard on earth.
And the Prophet SAW Selim was patient, his companions were patient. So hubub not comes to the province of Salem, make dua on Messenger of Allah. Don't you see what what's going what's going on with us? The prophets of salaam tells him about previous nations, then what does he say to him? Well, I cannot come home to study alone, you are hasty. You need patience. If you want to grow into leaders of humanity, you will need Patience. You need Pete You don't need tactics of manipulation. You don't need tactics of influence. That's deception. Because by doing that training, they guarantee that you remain in their grip that they can you become a dangerous weapon, that you have
tools of influence without morality. But when you develop patience, and you develop your clean, you grow in morality, you grow in response, your humanity expands, your human nature, your human potential expands.
So the Prophet SAW Salem was growing in Atlanta was growing impatience throughout more revelation was coming to him, the Promise of Allah that things are not going to be easy. He was seeing that Moriarty in and how did the prophets or Salah maintain that strength and that resilience in the face of all of this opposition, his day was hot was tough, full of rejection and opposition. Any one of us, you know, would be heartbroken, we would burn out and we would leave. Why would the Why did the prophets of salaam persist? What did Allah prescribe upon him? If you want to build a strong public life, if you want to be a person of true influence on people? How can you achieve that?
Yama, Lee,
when no one sees, no one recognizes, no one knows. You pray, you stand in prayer. You beg Allah subhanaw taala you pray for hours and hours and hours and hours. And that's what the Prophet SAW Selim did. That's what the early companions did. What about the Muslims who were dying at the time
that's how you save them. That's how you start the journey. If you don't build the patience, the sub and the attain, you can't help even yourself.
You can't help anyone.
So if you want to be leader, most people want to jump to the to that to the to the top of the mountain of leadership, by what learning tactics, you're not a leader, you're just a negative influence. Because Allah subhanaw taala speaks about Allah describes Imam Imam. By the way, Allah applies the word to who? In the Quran, which minimum method which method? You're the owner l&r
Who's Allah talking about, for their own. Allah says about for Alan and his assistants, we made them leaders.
We made them leaders. For round one, it was one of the greatest leaders in the history of humanity.
But leaders to what to the Hellfire
leaders to the hellfire. So without the essence of leadership, the moral essence of leadership, you're going to be a negative influence that leads people to the hellfire. Even if you put the label of Islam and you write it in beautiful calligraphy and you create a beautiful logo and you say Islam, Islam Islam, that doesn't make it Islamic. If it's not genuinely Muslim, it does not stand on the morality of Islam does not stand on the principles of Islam. If it does not reflect the life of the prophet saw Selim.
Then you know the declaration doesn't make it Islamic.
So that's where the leadership of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam started. He started with one private Dawa secret that one. So what is the leadership? Let's go and tell the world
that's naivety.
That's foolishness. But we want to save the people from the hellfire. You will not ready.
That's something you work your way up to. That's what leadership is patience, and your team.
foolishness, even if it's enthusiastic doesn't make you a leader.
You just become someone who spreads foolishness further and further.
So the Prophet Salam started private Dawa. So there are people dying in Mecca every day upon Cofer, and they were going to the hellfire. Still, that's not part of his mission. His mission is to start with a secret Dawa, build the core, the vanguard of the Muslims and Islam. And then Allah subhanaw taala makes it obligatory upon them to pray to Yama lay, and pray how much most of the night read surah to the Muslim men. The last verse in Surah, Muslim men Omen, Leila Illa, kalila nessa who
pray the whole night, except for a little bit, or later on pray half of it, or a little bit less than the half.
This is how you build leaders. You build them at nights. Yes, you don't build them in the classroom.
You build them at night, because who builds leaders, Allah, who teaches them at night, Allah.
But you know what we want the manipulation that people teach us and we call it leadership.
So the Prophet SAW THE Sanlam build that core group of Vanguard's of true Muslims. And these are the ones who upheld Islam until today, we live on the momentum of that small group of people by the way.
We live on the momentum and the baraka of those people, the momentum that they built, because it was so deep, it was so true, it was so genuine, that the ripple effect of that will stay until the day of judgment.
So that was the leadership. That's why each one of these early companions that Allah calls them a Serbian goon and when when,
sir, because they have the highest place in Islam, no one matches them. Serbia Kunal, a well known why because Allah says that, yes, the women commend them for coming Kabul and for those who have fought for the sake of Allah and those who have spent for the sake of Allah before the conquest of Mecca, or after the conquest of Mecca are not the same, like those who spent before because it was more difficult than everyone was against them. That that's what makes the difference, the context here. So those people that are the ones who carried Islam, and this is what made Bilal Radi Allahu Anhu be, you know, put up with all of the pain of a huge rock being placed on his chest where he
couldn't breathe in the scorching sun of Mecca in the heat of the summer with all the humiliation and all the torture and all the whipping. And they say to him just say one word, say Hubel. And he says that he challenges them.
And even on my yellow color, he says like when he was beating him up, he got so tired, that he would get someone else to beat him up.
And Bill answers hadn't heard what did he get this resilience from? Obi Wan is just as a resilient person. No, that's faith. That's faith. And that's the seat of leadership. That's your teen and sober. Together. This is how they manifest their life.
So then, when the prophets of salaam built that it was time for the public Dawa. So they went out. Now you have Allah says to them, in a sense, this is what it implies. Now you have built strength I have built strength is within you that no force on earth can wipe you out from now on, you're safe. Although there was there were how many? How many? Not too many Muslims at the time. You had Allah Subhana Allah says with that kind of foundation that you have of solid on your train, no one can take you out.
No numbers, no weapons, nothing.
And the prophets Allah said that Allah promised him that this ummah,
Allah protected the Ummah from an external enemy that would come and wipe it out, it would never happen.
So then the that was spreads, and new Muslims coming to Islam and it was unpopular. And these are the real ones. These are the real believers. So the prophets of salaam cultivated them. They prayed with the Prophet son, they learned with the Prophet Salim, they were Muslims, despite all of the pushback, and that's what made them stronger. That's what made them leaders. And then eventually when the prophets of salaam moved out to, you know to Medina and then he built his state. You it seems as though it was a perfect plan.
and it is a perfect blend because it's the plan of Allah subhanaw taala. But you might think it's only because the Prophet Solomon received revelation, no. When you put your trust in Allah, when you have a personal realisation of Allah, His mind, His mercy, His wisdom, His support, and his truthfulness in his promise. It's not like something you read, it's not something you heard. It's not something you parrot, but it's something that you personally believe in because you have a firsthand personal experience with it in your life.
When you engage with the Quran, truly,
and you start to see the this life through the lens of the Quran, you will develop a level of patience and a level of Yochanan that no one else can develop, no training can give you.
And these are the people when so when people look at history, and even non Muslim historians even talk about this, they say the biggest change in the history of humanity
was what the early Muslims did.
They changed the course of history. And who were these? Who are these people before? They were just again, some random nomads, Arabs fighting among themselves. They had some good moral traits, but they had a lot of issues.
And no one had interest in them. Why? Because they were insignificant for all of these, you know, global forces. Yet, what did they do? They took over the world.
They took over the world, they brought justice into the world, they brought devotion into the world. They brought light into the world. These were the ones that the prophets of salaam developed and I would close with one thing.
If you want to know a good leader, look at the people around them.
If the people around the person are growing, and becoming better, that's a good leader.
If the people around this person are staying small, and this person is growing big, most likely he's not a good leader or she's not a good leader. Yeah.
Because the nature of your team and suburb is that they are very contagious. Very, very contagious and very empowering to the people around you. And if you look at what Allah subhanaw taala has entrusted the Prophet SAW Selim the mission that Allah gave to the prophets of salaam to achieve the verses that we all know about. When Allah talks about the prophets, Allah Salam will take one of them. When Allah says, look at the men Allahu Allah, meaning if both of you him Rasool Amin and foresee him yet to ally him, Allah has sent His favor upon the believers when he sent a messenger from amongst themselves that he conveys. He relates the verses the words of ALLAH to them. That's
the general mission Albula. Right conveying the message. What is he supposed to achieve with people?
What are the results? He's supposed to get the takeaways? What are people going to walk away with? If they accept the message of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam two things?
He was a key him
well,
you're a limo Kitab I will Hekima this Kia and in.
Even though I am Rama, Hola, Jota Allah, He says, the highest level of test here is sub
patients.
And in another place, he says the essence of test kiya sub.
And the highest level of knowledge is your cane.
So what does the Prophet says I'm supposed to do?
Something and you came to Ischia? And then
that's what the prophets aren't supposed to do. And if you want human, you know, human development in Islam is based on these two things.
If because if you get patients you get all of the moral repertoire, all of the spectrum of morality, you get all of it, if you don't pay him and some of his books, I think it's
allowable asleep. I think, if I'm not mistaken, he says, patience is the main ingredient Sabra is the main ingredient in every moral trait. And then he goes to explain how every moral trait patients is the main ingredient in it.
So human development, development is in this and this is why Allah subhanaw taala wants to better US wants to improve us with the message of Islam. How do you improve humans by achieving these two things, the Ischia and suburb and UK. And if a person gets these two achieves these two, you can never be a bad person, guarantee
guarantee.
And how can you tell a hypocrite when they lack these traits? So the Prophet sallallahu Sallam actually he referred to this fact in different different
using different words but they're all pointing to the same thing. The messenger SallAllahu Sallam says,
see if attorney let ashtami and if him on Africa, so the person was not only a leader, but he could tell who was a leader. He could make leaders and he could tell people who's the good and who's the bad. So the Prophet SAW Selim said CIF, Attorney law letters Tommy Hanif him on Africa.
Two traits will never be found together, to gather in a hypocrite. Because these two together the joining the coupling of these two things, is the definition of belief of a man
should know something with a confident
host Newsom tweets, hustle, hustle isn't good character, morality, which is patience. The essence of it is patience with confidence and understanding and knowledge of Islam
which has to do with the attain the highest level of care.
So when we say if you want to define good person, bad person, these are the two traits.
So leadership in Islam is what is becoming a better person. Once you become a better person. This is why in Islam we use a man we don't use leader leader is called it
is called it's called you can appoint a general a commander of the army, a leader, you can appoint them
in Islam is not celebrated, not necessarily celebrated because and actually, if you look at the world around everywhere, most of the position people in leadership are the worst type of people ever. They're narcissists.
Yeah, the narcissist, the aggressive ones, they are the ones who make it to the top.
This is a life observation and this is documented in research.
So there is no virtue in that kind of leadership. The Virtue is Imam, being Imam. And what is Imam? How do you become an imam? When you become good at something very, very good at something that is good, that is positive. And you are so good that people learn from your example.
That's what email is.
That is what remember, this is why Allah Subhana Allah says, What you mean home inmitten we made them Imams than God's people who invite others attract others pull us bring others pull others into the goodness.
People are drawn to them. People are drawn to the example. People get the vibe from them. They catch that positivity from them what you're allowing him to emit and you don't want to be Emery daddy guide with our command Lim mouse along with Ken will be at you know your cleaner when they have achieved within themselves the highest levels of Sobor which is patience, persistence, forbearance
and your clean the highest level of Eman and knowledge and certitude.
So when they achieved that thing, they became their presence become so special.
When they are in the room, the whole vibe in the room changes.
When they do something they inspire, there's a spark of inspiration that catches the attention of everyone. And it awakens the fitrah the natural, you know, the natural the natural constitution and every one of us. It awakens that soul that spirit it awakens that and it reminds you Hey, there's something better there. That's the guidance of Allah being manifest in the in the in the form of a human being. And this is why it came from some of the companions that the best among higher on NASS men either or Atia who the khardungla. The best of people is the one when you see them, you remember ALLAH, their presence, their demeanor reminds you of Allah awakens your heart to Allah.
These are the these are the Imams, and this is what Islam calls to. So we borrowed the word leadership with, you know, a pinch of salt, we're not so happy with it, we have the Imam, the word Imam, Imam, you can't be an Imam, unless you are the best in that area, in that morality, in that generosity in that knowledge and education. In that, for example, let's say, in helping out people in being, you know, an exemplary, that's what the Imam is, but a leader could be someone who just learned manipulation, and came by any kind of support or power or appointment. And it's not necessarily a positive thing. So hopefully this is just a small glimpse into the leadership of the
Prophet SAW Selim, a little bit of his example, a little bit of his education, how he prepared other leaders, and also what the Quran tells us about leadership and what we can glean about the nature of what we call today leadership, from the example of the Prophet SAW Selim. Hopefully it gets you thinking in the light
Don't remember every parent, you are in a position of leadership. What does that mean? You have to become a better person. People ask this question, the question, How do I become a better parent? Let me take courses on parenting. You know, the easiest way to become a better parent become a better person, you become a better person, you'll become a better parent automatically, automatically. Does this mean or not shouldn't learn about parenting, maybe you can learn there are some useful things. But unless you develop yourself and become a better person, even you take all of the training in the world, you won't become a better parent you want. You want period. Because parenting comes more from
your presence from your demeanor way than what you do or what you say. We ask Allah Subhana Allah to guide us. Sorry, it's we took all the time that was allocated.
Questions.
If you guys have any grudge, it's wisdom.
Pass and now with me.
I'm absolving myself of the responsibility.
Questions. Is there any questions?
Go ahead.
But you need to speak up so I can hear you because the kids are think I think they're in the gym so I can hear
none.
So
it's a little bit too generic to explain this. So we're going to start another lecture but in number we're actually Otama Macquarie mela fluff I was sent to perfect the manners book. I think, Zack Allah who actually did me a favor, I guess that's that was your point. Yes. That the prophecy ism summarizes his mission to perfect, what character
character. And that ties in exactly with what we said, because the essence of what a good human being is, and what a leader or an imam really is a good influence. really is, is actually these are moral principles. These are the foundations of good character. So that's what the prophets of salaam came to perfect. Yeah. A prophet. In a sense, the Prophet Solomon came to create leaders to make leaders in a sense, even leaders in your own personal life, that still makes sense.
Okay, sisters.
Cool, okay. Love that brothers have a monopoly over leadership.
So
when it comes to, so we're talking about leadership, right in the family, and we're dealing with the men here, and
you have a hierarchy of leadership and Islam? How do you lead when the people under your right hand are not willing to listen or follow?
Do you want to be more specific?
Okay. Okay. So
to be more specific, it'll be multiple parts. Yeah, you have
a system in Islam, where you should not leave the home without the husband's permission, right.
So if the person is not willing,
and they're doing this anyway,
there's a lot, there's a lot of brothers going through this right now. And you can see that the system of the shaytan is separating our families and destroying our community, and we bury it under the table without talking about it on the member. This is happening to our community right now.
And we're now right now, everywhere,
exactly all over the world, and not just leaving the house without permission, but so many other things, by the brothers, by the sisters, by the kids, by everyone. So part of great leadership
is not to be engrossed in the details. Details come as a result of the framework.
You know, the famous, almost trite and redundant statement, they say fixing, you know, the chairs on the deck of the Titanic.
There's no point fixing details in a sinking on a sinking ship. Right? So what does that mean? That means you have to realize where the details come from. And this is in Islam, this is the approach of the Folk Aha, to this is the approach even to political issues, to a lot of the things that emerged in the history of Islam, that would not be confused by the details, there would always re search for the root cause and the framework that is giving birth to to this phenomena, then you can treat it eliminate the cause it disappears. But if we push back at the surface level, which sometimes by the way, we do need sometimes, but it shouldn't be the overall strategy. When you push back at the level
of details. You know, it's it's, it's rarely successful and the
creates tension and doesn't allow things to be sorted out long term. So an example simple was how the movement would be built out of the Allahu Anhu. When he informed the what sent a message to the people of Makkah that Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam the prophets of salaam was going to march to Mecca. And the person said, don't tell anyone. So that's a companion who took part in the Battle of Bedore such a great companion.
And when the Prophet son was told by Allah Allah sent Gibreel he told him the news, the Prophet SAW Selim so this is what is this is an act of treason and if you just look at the action itself if you want to define the action itself is betrayal of the Muslims will and Barack so it could actually border the issue of coverage here. So I'm gonna rehab says to the prophets of salaam let me chop off his neck I want to get rid of this guy hypocrite the boarded the prophets of salaam do, that's not the right level of engagement.
Let's go deeper, what's going on come here how to what's going on? So that's the approach we want to have the you know, engaging with the, with the outcomes makes us miss out on the causes. So what we want to do we want to have a strategic approach to all of those problems. And that's really leadership. That's leader that's proper leadership. Okay, so hopefully that puts things in perspective. And it saves me from the trap who set up for me
okay, just one more question then we'll go for Salah quickly quickly. Question question question.
Hmm. Oh, just
so wonderful for the brothers one from the sisters.
Alon must start.
Again, you want to loosen the smell last patch Allah bless our Muslim brothers and sisters in our families.
What I would say
you will need to seek the advice of an imam
who's helpful who can give good advice to your husband. These are serious issues, especially when it comes to Riba. Okay, these are serious issues, and we need good advice. So that's, that's what I think it should be.
If I say anything is not going to change anything here, and this is not the right level of engagement.
These things need to be discussed needs to be need to be settled need to be addressed dealing with rebar dealing with haram, neglecting the education of the children when it comes to Islam and acting as if it's not one's responsibility. They're not the same, but again, you know, they have serious consequences, we should try our best, we should try our best to preserve our marriage obviously to me, keep it working out inshallah. And also to help each other become better Muslims in the best, you know, tools available to us. But what I would say, Don't resort anyway, like if your husband has some major sins, or the wife has some major sins.
If the marriage in other areas is working fine, I would say there's no point in breaking the marriage is no point breaking the marriage but work on improving yourself. work on improving your spouse. seek means and save the dignity of your wife, I speak to the husband sit, help your wife save her dignity and save for the wife save your husband, your husband's face. There are people and it used to be in the past one of the reasons why I don't do counseling by the way. So just this is an announcement, no counseling whatsoever. The reason is, husband comes and He wants me to tell off his wife
or a wife wants to wants me to prove her husband wrong in front of her.
What is this? That's not going to make things work. That's not good for you. It's not good for that's a grudge and you bring the imam in the middle and you use him as a tool as a gun to shoot your spouse with. That's not how counseling works. That's not how you deal with marital issues. And again, this has nothing to do with this question. By the way, I just it's more of a rant. So So but what I say. Honestly, if you are married, and there are great things in your marriage, preserve them and start slowly working towards a better solution for weather issues. These issues might never be solved
Find live with that do your best and live with that and keep working on improving them bit by bit. This is your jihad. This is your Jihad and may Allah accept from all of us Desikan lockira And apologies about the lateness of this I hope that you found today was beneficial the talks the topics, mashallah the contributions of the speakers were were amazing and great. I listened to some of them and I myself really got some points of benefits. So Jacqueline Locker was Allah wa salam ala Nabina Muhammad while he was here he may
like a lot of shots, just important announcements Insha Allah, Allah Tala. Inshallah we have an Umbra that were organized in sha Allah Tala for the spring from March 27 to April 17.