Muslim Talks to Gay Sex Advisor – New York

So

my friend over there in the red jacket

is going through a crisis in life.

very depressing because he's got his hands in his pocket that's uncomfortable.

You can change you can

listen to changes lives around them.

Because right now is quite miserable.

Questions, everything from Instagram?

You know, you're dealing with everything. What? Okay, let me ask you a question. What are the let's say the most common problems your you face as a as well, I was issues that you societal issues that you keep, like I keep coming up. Yeah.

And there's a lot. I will say, you know, if I could boil it down to maybe a few, I would say people not trusting their instincts. Yeah. People feeling like there's a certain way to be sexually, whether that's their family actually

told them or usually multiple fuel sources. And then what do you mean by that? Can you expand on that a little bit? Like,

Oh, no, thank you. So next few days.

I gotta be comfortable.

Okay.

Sorry.

Yeah, go ahead. Sorry. You're asking what is it? What do I mean by messages? Give me like more like a case study. So you're saying people are maybe they're not aware of? They're not confident in themselves? Or what is it exactly, they're being told by multiple sources? That would have been total

confidence in themselves is another way to look at it. I look at it. Yeah, so one of our biggest challenges that people tell us how we're supposed to be about sex, or our bodies or

not perform or feel or not feel. And we fully believe that sometimes at age three, or four, or five, or 15, or 30, whatever it is, and it's hard to shake that. And so you might have an instinct, like, I just want to masturbate, and that might be your thing. Some people are like,

you should also be wanting to get married to this type of person and be having this type of sex with them. And once a week or twice a week, but you might be thinking, I just want to masturbate, whatever it may be. You have your own beliefs about what works for you. Is pornography a big theme here in your work? Because not necessarily, is it not? So people certainly use it

doesn't come up. But I think that usually people have more questions around interpersonal

and foreign is usually not an interpersonal born is in some way interpersonal it's more the interpersonal reaction, or someone's,

you know, coming up against

someone else. If I can ask you a question. Do you find that there's a in terms of males and females age groups, different demographics? who seems to be like let's say, for example, tends to exhibit a most insecurities or problems? Or are there any specific classes of people that you can say, Okay, these individuals keep coming up.

A lot of people who have had to think about their sexuality or their gender or their sexual expression or gender identity, yeah.

It's not that they are we don't have issues around confidence, or it's not funny, but but they have been dealing with it front and center and sort of being challenged their whole lives in some way around it. So in a lot of ways, people who are queer or gender non conforming, or transgender, a lot of ways we

know,

we regularly challenged from family and other folks in the world

to challenge ourselves or people to challenge us. But that said, I really feel like one of the misconceptions is that men and women and people of different genders are extremely different. But it's more I believe that we're socialized. So there are tons of men who come up here and are crying and within a minute or a couple of minutes, because they're sharing something in front of it, for sure. shared with me.

What kind of things today? I mean, you're talking about, for example, homosexual community, right? Are the challenges faced by the homosexual community, different from those

faced by straight people, for example, what kind of challenge what are the differences, similarities and differences between the two committees?

Well, you know, there are, there are certainly many, I mean, all of them, but in other words, there is not right so everyone is dealing not everyone. Many people are dealing with an instance like

Social media and you know, feeling is that is that big themes and social media? Is that something which I wouldn't even say no. Okay. He says an example. Right. Okay. So, you know, people

regardless of their sexual orientation, yes.

You know, we're dealing with similar things. Sometimes people are straight, maybe you are dealing with, you know, feeling like they can experiment less sexually because people who are queer

are given, in some regards, give me more permission around being more exploratory sexual in order for swords to the Jets. I mean, just from a simple biological perspective, that would not be the case, in the sense that, obviously, a man and a man can't do as much as a man and a woman can do.

Just by virtue of the fact that there's more.

There are differentiated entry point, like, Oh, isn't that right?

I haven't thought of it that way. I mean, I see it 100% differently.

You know, like you see it this way. Yeah. You know, if, because if sex is more than innocent vaginal canal, or penis, penis, or penis and throat, or whatever it may be right? Or

because people are sexual in so many different kinds of ways, for example, to people looking at the same computer screen to be, would you consider that sex? masturbating to the same computer screen? If they want to call it sex? That's great. Okay, so how would you define sex?

Well, so sex is a complicated word, because it has different meanings in terms of noun in terms of sex characteristics, okay. And then there are things that people do that are sexual with each other, that people may consider sex, people making sense, although sex or masturbation sex, I like to really let people make those definitions for themselves, you're quite quite forceful.

You're quite postmodernist. And you think outside the box? In a sense? Yeah, I like to, I just noticed that, as I said, before, the person that we've talked to one of the biggest issues that I see people believe in certain scripts or certain ways to be sexually, and I don't know, if I end up, you know, suggesting that somebody really should act a certain way. I mean, there must be parameters that you put in place. And then you know, I mean, how would you feel about bcla? For example? Great question. So you'll notice if you study sort of taboo topics, right?

You know, things that we missed the moment in 2018, maybe in us once a month, a certain place isn't true in the US, or some states, which allow us jelly. So we'll move

on. So

you'll notice that if you study things over time study, or even if you just look at 2018 versus 20 times, yeah, we will see that certain things are normalized, things are not there.

Fortunately, a lot of people would say that we're trending towards greater consciousness and awareness and conscious action. So in that sense, you know, one of the things that's on a lot of people's minds, at least is consent. And so when we talk about non humans, you know, living beings that are non human, yeah. What's your view on that? Well, what we one of the things, among others that we often talk about is, is consultants. Yeah, and, you know, especially when I work in other countries, you got some sex with with nonhumans. Here with animal, you know, humans, United States isn't that much. I certainly when I work in other countries, it does come up and it comes up a lot

doesn't really so what what kind of countries have come up, and I usually like to not name certain countries, okay. Sometimes people have beliefs about which countries are a certain way.

Yeah, it's just out of curiosity, maybe anybody wants to know.

I mean, you know, I would say if we weren't, you know, the cameras were here and whatnot. I would, but I just like my I understand you don't have insight anything? Yeah. I don't want to suggest that, you know, yeah, no, no problem. Yeah. But it comes up in certain areas. This is this is the thing.

This is the question like for my paradigm, I'm curious.

Do you have a question? Because I know I, so obviously, I'm a Muslim. I'm a I'm a believer of Scripture, scripture. And so if you're like traditionalism, and it's not just Muslims that have parameters that are finally or very much defined by scriptures, it's also Christians. Jews also have different like you were talking about kind of, I think you applied it in some of what you were saying. So obviously, for us, it's a matter of looking at the text and seeing Okay, well, this is in accordance with God's will. And this isn't a chorus because it's very much divine command theory, if you like, you know, we believe that the authority goes to the facts and therefore, we act in

accordance to it. Right, so it's much more rigid. If you like it, these are the parameters, but you can't go for example, homosexuality in Islam is not permissible. You know, obviously Judaism because

It's not permissible you can't have sex with another man. Or, or woman having sex with another woman. In fact, Islam wouldn't define the woman.

You know,

pleasuring another woman as even sex, frankly, right? Because, because there's, there's very key definitions, for instance, sex would be seen as eyes off penetration from a vaginal set in a financial sense, oh, an angel says these two things would be seen as a sect of Islam.

That wouldn't be seen a section of it would not is something

extra, something else, but it's not sex in the in the,

in the scripture in a strict scriptural sense.

So yeah, so from that perspective, we have very strict guidelines and things I love.

Okay, oh, no, sex is not allowed in Islam is considered sex. Yeah, just sort of thank you for the clarification. It's not allowed, whether it's from man to man or man to woman by

a woman, or man, but that's,

that's very possible. It happens all the time. It's actually it's actually I would say that in a lot of the sex shops here. It's one of the most common classes that we teach about. So women having anal sex with men.

It's one of the most, it's a bit unusual. It doesn't undermine lesbianism in a sense, right? Because if a woman is strapping on sorry to say, No, no, no.

She's doing then it doesn't that kind of, in a sense, undermining. Sexual lesbianism is like because sexual lesbians,

you know, kind of being attracted to the female opens, in a post, obviously, male sexual organs. But if you're if you're trying to emulate male sexual organs, then it would kind of imply somehow that you're sexually attracted to them. So maybe that women that do that, couldn't they be accused of some kind of bisexual wave accusing it isn't not bisexual,

putting on

some penetrative tool toy is found, like in some way, or that it has the shape of a penis represented? There's a lot of, you know, I think,

maybe assumptions kind of built into that. And so what's your view on? Here's the thing

as a gang of nerve endings, okay, and

that person, dog cat and right, the anus is a sensitive area, and for a lot of people will feel that for some people, for a lot of other people. So whether it is themselves another partner, a partner, whose male partner, whose female partner, whose gender transgender person has a partner who they can't see, and they don't know, is this a man or a woman or transgender person stimulating my anus, their anus is still really respond. You can also question

and this is because I was looking at some reports you use well for the US Navy.

So I was looking at some reports from the World Health Organization. And also we've got in the UK because I'm from the UK.

We've got some reports written by the NHS, etc. What seems to be a common thing that is said, We're not saying that correlation equals causation, any of that, but we're saying that one thing which is commonly said is that homosexuals, they, they have a higher propensity to sexually transmitted diseases. In fact, there's some like the who, since it was like 13 times more likely to contract aids, 13 times more likely to contract gonorrhea,

whatever it may be, right? So I guess what I'm asking is, if we're if we're doing a social analysis here, of,

of homosexual type sex, or anal sex, even not even just a man and a man be a man or a woman, even if we're doing anal sex or non heterosexual, I'm calling I'm calling it anal sex for now. Yeah. But also specifically because those statistics are specified for homosexuals, right.

Okay, so those statistics that I've just recorded, it's not about anal sex is about homosexuals. Yeah. So could there be a case that homosexual sex, if we're looking at a kind of an aggregate of social pros and cons could be more harmful than it is? Producer?

Could gay sex be more of a

herd of condoms?

Here's my thing. But

at this point, all homosexuals having more likelihood of contracting those diseases, is that is that concern for it was in homosexual circles or?

Well,

so let me let me respond to the first part. So I just I think that one of the things that would be beneficial is to just

broaden our

Understanding of sex. So there's not a sex, there's not homosexual sex. There are people who get together and do things with their bodies that may hopefully feel good. So there's not one type of a sex or not attending street sex. It's just people to move into their bodies that feel good, or that made me feel good and they get text.

So is is, I guess your question is, is when things happen to certain communities, are they concerning? Yeah, I mean, let's be frank. I mean, all communities have to be somewhat introspective, right? In the sense that, for example,

if there are diseases related to certain race groups, I don't think is racist to kind of clarify that, for example, Sub Saharan Africa, we have, there's more likelihood of there being AIDS. There's not more saying as for racial reasons, but when we start to kind of look at these things objectively, scientifically for life, right, yeah. Because Science can be very useful in these things. Right. All I'm asking is that if if there is a spread of disease, which is exacerbated in a certain community,

doesn't it make sense to question the reasoning for that disease worse? Yeah. So. So from that perspective, going back to because I think the paradigm you're working from, so long as it feels good. It's, it's okay, it's permissible.

So long as there's consent, and it feels good. I mean, no one's maybe harming each other. Yeah, no rape or anything like that. Right. So if that is kind of like a liberal presupposition.

Why Why not?

respected enough? People are killing people?

Yeah, I would, I would consider a liberal only because it conforms to philosophical liberalism. Right? So yeah. So in the sense that, you know, you can do whatever you want, so long as you're not harming anyone else. Right.

But here, what I'm what I'm asking more specifically, is if we can identify social harm, no harm, harm. Yeah, social harm, which might not be direct, but might be indirect. Right? I might be

identified when looking at a broad

scale kind of time period.

So isn't isn't important for us to kind of question the reasons why this was happening.

In a nutshell, if we know that the spread of diseases is exacerbated, yes. If a certain kind of sexual experiment is done between men and men, no sex.

Shouldn't be question. Having sex in this way?

Oh,

okay. Let me put it this way, right.

Yes, yeah. Are you trying to convince me of that are you do want to do want to know my opinion? What's what are you most interested in?

I think is a little bit

more intubating. I'm just trying to see easy people sit down and they have questions about someone they're dating or *ing, whatever it is. Yes, yes, I know. But I'm trying to make I'm trying to understand seems like you're trying to put them in a corner. That's my impression. Yeah. It's true. Because that's what you're doing. You kind of interrogating him. You don't have a specific question.

advocate, rapping in a corner. That's what you're doing. I'm not trying.

I will say this, though. Let's make this your last question.

And I'd like to see a lot of people No, no, no problem. Yeah. But your last question. Yeah. So what one one thing is this?

If you have a question, is it a question or a statement? Or a question? Okay.

My question is simply,

if we can identify that x practice, right, wherever that practice may be, is causing.

It's having an effect on society, which might be detrimental.

Shouldn't we question x practice? Sure. So you're saying like if men rape women all the time, which happens all the time, you're saying Shouldn't we question men raping women? Is that what you're saying? I don't think anyone questions that. I think everyone knows that. I think that's universally accepted as wrong. Or you're saying if most people accept that, that's a wrong thing. Okay, so you're you're so the question is, I think it's the same when you just ask someone

let me give an example. Right? You don't know, you know, you know, in the UK, right. You know, smoking cigarettes. I don't know what the rules are here. But inside. This is quite a law. I don't know if it exists in this country or not. Passive smoke. So for example, if I go into this weekend, smoking inside the parking

Oh, as interesting for us, you can smoke outside but you can't smoke inside. Yeah. So if you go into a restaurant like Starbucks, you can't smoke inside the thing and the rest

Now behind that is, well if you do if you smoke, incitement someone else, but when you're having sex someone is deciding if I have sex with someone walking by that's me deciding I want to have sex with no, no, no doubt. Yeah, but what I'm saying is this this is the analogy I want to draw. Okay, well if sexually transmitted diseases, not all of them are transmitted through sex, right?

Okay.

aid. It can be through blood movement or injections even even gonorrhea or syphilis, a lot of them can be transferred transferred from other than sex, you can transfer from right. So for example, a mother can transfer a Maria was syphilis, syphilis or many of those diseases.

Oh, what's that one? He got Kaushalya.

herpes, right. So that can be that can be transmitted from other than sex?

Sure, give me good. I'm not sure I'm not I'm not an expert in this you are.

But let's take aids as an example. Yeah, it can definitely be transmitted by administration.

Is that your I just I just in terms of time, I want you to ask your last question. Yeah, I'm with you on that. But I just you I'm just I'm saying yeah. If aids can be transmitted, loving and sex, yeah, yeah. I say for example, we can identify that homosexual sex and creates more

may

create more eggs, but I really appreciate it. And I know that's just in terms of time. I only have an hour left on there. Can I ask you two questions just real quick. Yeah.

No answers you Do you mind as well. Thank you for your time. Thank you.