Not Without Her

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Mohammed Faqih

Channel: Mohammed Faqih

Episode Notes

Prophetic Inspirations for Modern Couples

Episode Transcript

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Yeah, okay, do we have to

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Okay, so we're gonna have to live with a cat.

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But Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa salatu salam ala rasulillah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Tonight we're going to spend some time with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

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with glimpses and highlights and episodes from the life of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam and specifically from the American life of the prophet SAW Allah Listen, and how the prophets why Selim engages wives and how he dealt with them. The title for tonight's session is not

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right, not without her. Where did that come from? Well,

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Mr. Muslim, Mohammed, Allah relates in an authentic narration. He said that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam had a Persian

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neighbor

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and he used to make very delicious stew.

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He was very good Mashallah, I think Persians were known since you know, from for a long time for too long to be to be so the president because cuisine has always Mashallah.

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So he he said, so he made, he made this stew. And he went and invited the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

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So the some of them said, How about her?

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And he happened to be with Ayesha. So he said, How about her? Can I bring her with me? So the man said, No. In other words, maybe I'm not ready for that. Or so the man said, No. So the love it was send them said, then I'm not available.

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So he refused.

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So again, either either he came back, same day, or on another occasion, he invited him again a second time. And the Allahu alayhi wa sallam says, Why have he? How about her? Can Can I bring her with me? And he said, No.

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And then he invited him the third time.

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Again, it could be the same day he went back and forth, or a different occasion, you know, that that is not, you know, so it was a lump. And it appears that it was all the same, you know, the same time, the allotted time said, How about her? So he said,

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he said, yes, you can bring it.

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Maybe he needed to go get his wife's permission and come back to LA either. So when he said yes, the third time the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wasallam got up. And I just started,

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you know, racing with the profits of the lottery.

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And they went together and they attended this meal.

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So the point here is that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi Salaam, again, the Hadith isn't so hey Muslim, some authentic hadith, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam was invited to a meal, and he insisted on taking action with him.

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Solomon is, and this shows the special status he had, and also the level of courtesy and consideration and kindness of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam had sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, perhaps,

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I shall always, you know, fantasize, she always thought about about that that particular dish. Maybe he knew that she liked it. She wanted to try it. And the the process I didn't want to try it without her being there. The point here is that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam went out of his way to accommodate or to for Isaiah to accompany him.

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He didn't look at this as an opportunity for him to go enjoy him, you know himself, you know, or go enjoy his time away from her, but rather the sallallahu alayhi wa sallam insisted on being with him. And it seemed like he enjoyed her company.

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And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam taught us in his own words sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that from from the good treatment of a man to his wife is that he should not

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he should not

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have for himself a special meal or a special dish and not share with his the members of his household and especially his wife. He should not unless of course, he has some medical issue and, you know, whatever he takes is not edible. You know, he should enforce it. But, but the problem is when the law says what Elijah said before, I mean, Duna is not be fit, it's not courteous, it's not kind for a man to have a special meal for himself and not for his wife. Now, and I know that some some men might want to want to ask me, What if she does that? Is that okay? for her to do that? To cook something special for herself and not share? Of course, that is the Annie. Annie. I don't know

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what to say. It's of course it's not okay. I mean, it's not it's it's really, it's it's low class, for anyone to do that. Be it a man or a woman for them to deprive someone to buy specific type of fruit and bring it and restrict anyone from enjoying it except except him or her. That's not appropriate. Right? As a matter of fact, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam used to like to start the meal with eyeshadow, viola Anna first,

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or you know, his wife. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Will have her take the first sip

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and then drink, you know, from the same spot, and he goes out of his way, I should notice that the prophet SAW Selim, turn the glass or the cup around, like he didn't take it and then just drank from the other side. No, he turns it around to the to the to the to the place, where she drank from, right. And or the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam will give her a meat you know it will feed her soul of love, it will send them right give her a bite. Once she takes a bite from from it. The process will take a bite from the same spot someone law and even send it.

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This is from the treatment of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

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Aloha and some Allahu alayhi wa sallam to Ayesha.

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How accommodating and how courteous was the Prophet sallallahu wasallam. We have another very interesting narration that shows and I may have for those who came last week. I may have mentioned this. We were reminded of this last week and it was just beautiful.

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There is we have in the sherea sherea we have a very important aspect of a Bader

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which is a concession that makes life a lot easier. Right? It's a beautiful concession that we have in the shadow.

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A lot of people don't know the context in which that concession was revealed or was offered. And here is the story behind it.

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I just said that we we went with a prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, one day

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we traveled with him. And on the way back somewhere somewhere in the journey.

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When we were in the middle of the desert, see in the old days when they travel, they travel from one place to another they had they make stops, they stop they camp, but you want to make sure that when you stop, right, you stop in a place where you have plenty of water you have some some source, a place that you have water. So she said we were traveling and then in the middle of the desert,

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not at a place where said normal you know where they normally stop. We had we she said

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she said my I lost my necklace. I dropped my necklace.

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And she she informed the prophets Allah lies and that she lost her necklace. So the Prophet stopped and he started helping I should look for the necklace.

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Right. And of course when the profits stopped, guess what?

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Everybody stopped

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and now everybody didn't imagine the entire army is looking for

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I should necklace,

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the properties and say, you know, why did you lose your necklace? How important is the necklace?

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You know? I'll buy another one. No, it has sentimental value to her. This is her necklace. So the profit stops, looks for the entire arm. Everybody's looking for the necklace all over the place. And they ran out of water.

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They got preoccupied, they ran out of water, and it's time for Salah. So people went to work. And they said Elijah Rama Li masana Tasha on the line, they said, you see what he did to us?

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And they told her, they told him what happened.

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So a worker came. And at that when he came out, she was sitting and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was taking it up, or he was resting, and His head was in her on her lap. The professor said he was he was taking him up, got tired from looking for the necklace.

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So a walker came.

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And he started yelling at Ayesha.

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Right. And he started poking her. Some narration say he poked, he used his own hand or finger. And some narration said that he had a spear. And he used the that the not, you know, the other end of the spear. And he kept poking her with it. How dare look what you did to us. Why would you do this? You know, like, what come out. And she said for an attorney and he said a lot of a lot of stuff. Well, Carla, Mashallah yeppoon he said a lot of stuff She even said he said, as much as I love somehow that allowed him to say that he said all kinds of things. And the worker had, you know,

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and of course abubaker is,

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you know, doesn't want to be loud. And he's really frustrated and angry. And she said, and I wanted to run away. She know what, you know how angry I would get, but I couldn't. It was it was painful. I wanted to run away, but I couldn't because I was afraid that I may wake up the profit or the server.

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Right? So she kept taking it. She kept taking it. So she said

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the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam woke up. And Allah Subhana Allah to Allah has revealed to the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam an ayah from the Quran. And that I was the I have tempo.

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tempo. So this is the story behind tempo. tempo is basically when you don't have water, what do you do for auto?

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tempo? Right, you strike the ground, the dust, right? And then you wipe your face. That's right. That's the mo this concession which is, by the way, a great blessing from Allah subhanho wa Taala, it was revealed because of this, and by the way, so to say who they are one of the one of the chief Sins of unsought, he said,

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You know, he was he was congratulating and ibaka He said, You are full of Baraka or family of aboubaker Look, because of you, because of Alisha, because of you, this was revealed a concession that not only and and the Sahaba road wanna lay him they were very thrilled when this was, you know, revealed, because it made imagine these days, even nowadays, from that moment, and until the day of judgment, by the way, right? Every person that benefits from this ruling owes it to Azure, and that moment, but not only Ayesha, but also the courtesy and the mercy of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. What I tell people is the power Look, the prophet showed courtesy and he showed mercy and he

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showed compassion. And the Prophet tells us he who shows compassion to others, Allah will show him compassion.

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Right? So Allah subhanho wa Taala shows compassion to this oma and allows us to make him in the absence of water.

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Can you imagine this?

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Why did you take that necklace to begin with? You know, I hate it anyways. You know, you know, why can't you just mind and by the way, this is not the only time she lost a necklace.

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Right? There is another another you know, I love the Allahu Allah.

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Of course I know some of you are thinking or thinking right now what happened to the necklace, did they find it? Right?

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I said when the camel got up, we found the necklace beneath a camel. So the whole time they were looking for all over the place. It was the camel was sitting on it. No.

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barrier lady.

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So when she lost the necklace, she stopped the camel the camel

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sat down when it sat down and sat down on it and they kept looking forward to all over the place.

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Right, so this is all from the taqdeer of Allah subhanaw taala this from the other of a loss of Hana. Whoa, what to add

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the courtesy of the Sol Allahu alayhi wa sallam

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goes beyond that in terms of his and this is one of the one of the aspects that to tonight we're just going to share stories from the life of the Prophet. So, one of the most fascinating qualities that our messenger sallallahu alayhi wasallam had was that he was very accommodating, very understanding, very courteous, some of the lower they will send them so

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she said

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that when she made Hajj with the prophets, Allah Allah, and when the Prophet made Hajj, all of his wives went with him every single one, right? I should, in particular, she had she was on her monthly period. So she was not able to perform Umrah.

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When everybody made a mirage she was not able to perform.

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So when it was time for Hajj, the proximal wa sallam ordered her to perform hedge and to do everything except to make dough off because that's the one mistake and throw off is is is is a very essential aspect of Omaha as well. Right? If you don't make the offer, then you can't make ombre so she didn't do it. But when it was time for her, she made hedge. And then eventually,

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you know, when her period was over, she was able to make the off lotto offer hedge and she was able to make site and her hedge was completed.

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However, as people were getting ready to go back, she said, I was very sad. And she complained to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, she said messenger Allah messenger of Allah, everybody's gonna go back and they have performed Hajj and Umrah except me. I'm the only one that not perform hajj and umrah.

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So,

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and another narration says, she said, everybody's gonna go back and they have double reward, I have one reward.

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So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam stopped and he said, he can of course hold everybody back. But he sent her brother Abdul Rahman. He ordered him to take her to attend ame. And to make Amara like to initiate Ramadan and make Ramadan and catch up with them. Right, and that's why we call that spot where she made. She made the she made her arm. There is a message now that we call mercy Asia. That's where it came from. That's the spot that she went to improve in made her intention to make Amara and she went back. This is the story behind it. But again, this again shows how accommodating the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was, and that he found a solution for her.

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Right salallahu alayhi wasallam

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the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam also was very courteous when it comes to the emotional assault before before we go to the emotional struggle. The prophets Allah SLM was observed many times, many times when narration says without a shadow, the lohana and another narration with Sophia, and, you know, the proximate lesson will take a walk with them at night, you know, so it was very common that the prophecy center will go outside and they take a hike or they take a walk together. Just at night, and one time the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he was doing a T calf

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but with when it was the Knights of Sofia, he got out of the masjid out of his urtica and stood outside around the machine with with Sophia and they started having conversation. Just talking How are you? How is everything you know, I haven't seen everything okay, you know, and they will take a walk around the machine. Write

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the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa alayhi wa sallam. So now Sophia comes to the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam crying

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one time as they were traveling.

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And she said to the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa she was crying. And she said, You got me. My camel is very slow. The camel that you got me is slow.

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And the four cylinder

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flat keeping up with it. The reason I'm behind is because not because I'm a bad driver.

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But because the camera you got me is not as strong.

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And she was crying.

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Now what did the Prophet sallallahu Sallam do?

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He didn't say you're ungrateful.

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He didn't say you keep Why are you crying?

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Right. He didn't say is nothing, none of these things.

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Once he is venting, and she told him, You got me a slow camel

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Right. And that's why I'm behind. Everybody's ahead of me, I'm behind.

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Notice the process of turning against her and try to do counter attack. None of that. No to the process. I've said to her side, reminding her of all of his favors upon her. Come on, what are you talking about? You know how much I paid for that camel? No, none of these things. It doesn't matter. Right. He didn't take it personally. And this is something amazing about the province of Oman is that that he wouldn't take things personally. And even if he takes something personally the way he responds on the lower I think he will send them just, of course, any level of maturity is, so the prophets Allah, Allah sent him What did he do? They said, and this is public, and this has happened

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happening publicly. The Prophet has embraced her, and he started wiping her tears. And he started, you know, telling her to calm down and he you know, hugging her at Calm, calm, hanging down, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, because all she needed is a hug. Okay? If that's what you need.

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That's, that's all right. So say whatever you want, you know, nothing is going to be taken personally. And sometimes a person may or may need something more than a hug.

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You know, there, they're, they're crying. They're they're upset, but they need a solution.

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Right? So, Sophia comes complaining to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, about half saw teasing her and calling her daughter of a Jew.

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Right? If Natalya hoody. So she said that to her, right, and Sophia was Jewish. So she came crying to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and the prophet SAW. Selim looked at hafsa. And he said, tequila, Fear Allah have so that's all he said. And he did not go after half. So how dare and all that. Then he said to her, in another narration, he actually said to Sophia first, he says to her, why, he said, Why should you? Why should you be upset? Your husband is gonna be your father was an OB, meaning Aaron Harun, and your uncle was gonna be in another narration, he said to her, if they ever, you know, call you that name. Tell them that my father is Aaron. My uncle is Moses, and my

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husband is Mohammed.

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Any one of you has that any one of you can claim something like that? Right? And they would never say that to her after that. Right. So he gave her a solution. And then he turned to us to have suddenly said that's not right. It tequila fear Allah status. This is nonsense. Right? That's it. And that's where he left us all alone, and he was done.

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The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa alayhi wa sallam

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dealt with jealousy,

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jealousy, Cialis

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multiple occasions. Of course you're all familiar with I mentioned this not too long ago, that I shot of the lohana. in one direction it says the Prophet Allah Allah Allah in it appears it could have happened more than once. Because anytime you see two different narrations mentioning different facts, it means either it's the same narration but just reported from different angles. So you can reconcile them that maybe it's the same incident, or it could be more than one incident. One narration says that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was sitting and dining or eating with with Asia, or he was at his place. He's sitting with Ayesha when another wife of his sent a dish

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that she knew the Prophet liked. When that dish arrived, I she was upset. She took it, she threw it on the ground, and the dish split to a broken she broken in the process of the loss of them kept collecting the food. And he said, Of course you really don't want to waste this food. It's good somebody cooked it. He kept collecting the food. And he said, I need to pay her back for that. You know, this is a good food it shouldn't be wasted. Right? You know, I understand you got jealous. In another narration says that the prophecy seven had had some people present like that guest but people dining with the Prophet sallallahu Sallam Ayesha made food.

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And

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Sophia, Sophia made made food. Right, and the two sent the food. So he has arrived first. I was a little behind in sending her dish. But she instructed her servant to go and push Sophia servant and trip her so that the food would would fall. So the problem the Prophet and his competitors will not eat from that food and instead, wait for her dish to to be done and arrive. When that happened, the promises of them again collected the food and him and his guests ate from that food.

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And he said, he smiled. And he said to these men, yeah, this is how this happened in front of men. He said a lot of Tomoko, your mother became jealous. Your mother became jealous. And that's it. That's where he left it. He didn't go and say, You made a scene. You embarrassed me in front of the men.

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And then when ISIS dish finally arrived, he ordered for that dish to be sent to us to Sofia to the other way. You go, you enjoy it. That's payback cut offs. And that's a very, you know, right.

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Sophie, Ilana herself said that, I woke up one night, and I started, you know, I was looking for the prophecy lesson. It was very dark. In those days, they did not have any switch to turn the light on. You know, she can't tell. She feels like the processor is missing. He's not next to her. So she said, I kept looking for her. Right? I kept looking for him. And then until I felt his hair. So when I felt his hair, he woke up.

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Right.

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And he said,

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Well, yeah, what do you what are you thinking?

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He knew exactly what she was doing. Right? She thought maybe he got up and he left he went to, you know, another wife of his. So

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you know,

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you know, what are you doing? You thought you thought, um, she said, she said, Nothing must have ever lie. You know, he's like,

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so,

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so he, he, he just turned to the other side and he slept, he went to sleep.

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Right. And I remember narrations, he said, This happened again. And I was looking for the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, until I felt his foot. I felt his foot.

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And it turns out that he was making this video he would he was praying.

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And he was saying, oh, Allah, Who Oh, one who forgives sins. She's She's able now to hear his whisper. Right? him begging Allah for forgiveness, and crying. And she said, I said to myself, almost in her, you know, in her heart, she's thinking, she said, You know, I'm thinking about something silly or trivial. And you're thinking about something very significant, where we're, you know, we're not even on this, you know.

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Now, there was another incident towards the end of the life of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam where it appears that he had this issue and in multiple times, where is he said, I got up and I and I started looking for the prophet and he wasn't there.

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Right.

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And in another narration, it says that the Prophet salallahu alaihe salam laid next to me, I pretended like I was asleep. And then the Prophet sallallahu, Alayhi, wasallam set up, and then eventually he got up and he left.

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So when he left the room, I left after, you know, I went after him.

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And I followed him through the streets, the narrow streets of Medina, until he reached back here, back here is where some of his family members, his companions, and many of the people of Medina are buried. So he said, he went, he stood in front of a puppy, and he started making out loud, she could hear

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and she said, I kept, I kept, you know, standing there looking at him, and seeing what he's going to do next. So when he finished, he turned around, and when he turned around, I felt like he spotted something. So he started walking behind me. So I started walking ahead of him. Now, it's reversed. Now he is the processor is chasing her. And she so she said, I felt like he was he started to pick up his pace. And he started to walk faster. So I started walking faster. So he started jogging. So I started jogging. He started to run, I took off,

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you know took a short cut and arrived, went you know, took off my my, my my garment, my job and all that and went under the sheet and pretended like I'm asleep. And the Prophet sallallahu Sallam arrived, when he came home,

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he

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he noticed that I was breathing heavily. Right.

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So, like she was panting right?

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He just left her asleep, as she is now breathing heavy. So he said Ayesha, Ayesha, she would respond. She would respond.

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And then he said something to her that implies. Are you having asthma attack or something? I mean, are you having as you know, are you are you having hard time breathing? Why are you having hard time breathing? She sat up, she said, No, nothing. And then obviously, I mean, she's.

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That's when when he realized, he said,

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Were you the shadow that was following me. She said, I don't know what you're talking about. He said,

00:30:01--> 00:30:20

Either you tell me or let you not be in La, la, la gonna be any animal, either, you know, there's a history behind before that we're actually hid something from the prophet and a lot of yield to him. So he said to her, I should either you tell me, or the one who knows everything will tell me. It's up to you.

00:30:21--> 00:30:27

So when he said that she's like, Well, I have to, she confessed. She confessed the whole thing.

00:30:28--> 00:30:40

And the promises Some of us have said to her, said, Woe to you Ayesha. Akashi, Allahu Allah rasuluh. Ayesha, are you are you afraid that a lot His messenger will do you wrong?

00:30:41--> 00:30:43

Would I be unjust or unfair to you?

00:30:45--> 00:30:45

Right.

00:30:46--> 00:30:48

So I said to him,

00:30:53--> 00:30:58

I said to him, when he said that she didn't answer the question. instead.

00:31:00--> 00:31:02

She said to him,

00:31:07--> 00:31:09

I have to look at my notes.

00:31:10--> 00:31:15

She changed the subject. She said to him, messenger of Allah, what was that drive that you are making?

00:31:18--> 00:31:46

Right. But she completely changed the subject. And the promise, I said, I'm gonna say, Wait, wait, wait, wait, Don't change the subject. Let it go. Right? What's the big deal? it's trivial. So she changes the subject. And the prophet SAW SLM response to her, he changes the subject as well. So he tells her, you know what the prophet SAW Selim? And then the Prophet explained to her, he said, Ayesha gibreel came to me, right, but he could not enter the room.

00:31:47--> 00:31:56

So now the Prophet senses that the presence of jabril outside the room, he could not enter the room because you had taken off your garment.

00:31:58--> 00:32:05

Right. And I did not want to talk loud to him and say jewelry and what's what's the matter? Right? Because I didn't want to disturb you.

00:32:06--> 00:32:20

You're asleep. So I got up and I went outside and gibreel informed me that Allah subhanaw taala orders me to go to, to buffet and make dua for the people of the cave.

00:32:22--> 00:32:23

Right.

00:32:24--> 00:32:29

Some scholars say that this was one of the last trips of prophecy cellmate. Okay.

00:32:30--> 00:32:30

Right.

00:32:31--> 00:32:35

So, so the processor was being courteous. He didn't want to wake her up.

00:32:36--> 00:32:38

Right. That's why he stepped outside.

00:32:39--> 00:32:45

And when he stepped outside, she woke up and she sat up. And when he left she she followed him, right.

00:32:46--> 00:33:03

But the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was good at avoiding conflicts. was he able to always avoid conflicts? Or, you know, reason with his wives? No, they weren't were times where they did it.

00:33:04--> 00:33:06

Right. And they would,

00:33:08--> 00:33:11

you know, go back and forth, respond to the prophets, Allah Luddism.

00:33:14--> 00:33:19

And there were times where the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, you know, you know, some of his wives will not,

00:33:21--> 00:33:47

will not talk to him, or model they alone I know, discovered this accidentally one time when he yelled at his wife, you know, he said something to his wife. So his wife responded to him. And he said, How dare so she said to him, why not? If the wives of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam respond to him? And because because, remember, he's their husband. So at the end of the day, respond to him, and sometimes they may not even talk to him all day.

00:33:48--> 00:33:52

Omar was shocked. He could not forgot his issue with his wife completely.

00:33:54--> 00:34:24

And he said, may they perish? There they challenge the prophets I said about they there they talk to the prophets I send them or, and well to have saw his own daughter. So Omar forgot the whole subject and he went to have saw and he said, have to come here. Do you ever challenge any challenge you argue with the Prophet sallallahu and even send them or not talk to him all day? Or you know, she said, Yeah, he's there as well. We do that. You know, we often

00:34:25--> 00:34:26

right?

00:34:28--> 00:34:32

We do that. And the prophet SAW Allah they said it will come the next day like nothing happened.

00:34:33--> 00:34:39

Just, you know, move on sallallahu alayhi. Wa early he was sending them.

00:34:40--> 00:34:53

What was the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam like this with his wife, when the calamari Solomon's wives were were asked as to what he was like.

00:34:55--> 00:34:59

The Prophet sallallahu alayhi Salaam. They said he was the highest

00:35:00--> 00:35:00

Can

00:35:01--> 00:35:11

Salman he was the hack he used to. He used to be very cheerful. And he used to laugh and make us laugh. Salalah

00:35:13--> 00:35:16

right. And he used to do his own thing.

00:35:17--> 00:35:56

And he would always be doing something busy doing something, helping them doing his own thing. You know, the process one was very handy. sallallahu alayhi wasallam you know, for a long time he didn't have servants you know, so he used to touch his own clothes, fix his own slippers right? fix his his his Yeah, they don't want to say bed because they didn't have bed but Matt you know where he slept a lot is he would fix it, you know, help cleaning help with you know, maybe not cook himself but you know, help with anything you know, arrange things and, and put things until salaat time comes one solid time comes.

00:35:58--> 00:36:11

That's it, it's done. The processor is the most serious when solid time comes. He does not accommodate or he does not do anything else other than focus on Salah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

00:36:14--> 00:36:18

The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam used to be very

00:36:21--> 00:36:35

he was he was public and he was comfortable. And with his emotions solomani ism. So the proposal Allahu alayhi wasallam loved Khadija, his first wife

00:36:36--> 00:36:54

and he loved his wives after Khadija when he was married to Khadija he did not marry anyone else. After Khadija sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he married soda and then at the same time, or around that time he married and then the rest of his rise, but the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said

00:36:55--> 00:36:56

in new

00:36:57--> 00:36:58

baja

00:37:00--> 00:37:02

in nee Casa Rosa.

00:37:04--> 00:37:09

She said that the Prophet said about Khadija that Allah subhanho wa Taala blessed me with her love.

00:37:10--> 00:37:16

The love that I have for her is a risk from a loss of Hannah with Allah. It's it's not a burden.

00:37:17--> 00:37:50

You know, I don't know this, this whole idea that love is, you know, love is painful love is punishment. Love is torture and love is this lovely, you know, the process of sex is a risk is the risk. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam embrace it, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam welcomed it. And the prophet SAW Selim expressed it sallallahu alayhi wasallam. So when he was asked about, you know, when he was married to it shall the law and when he was asked almost Eveleigh, who do you love most from amongst people? Now? He said, Ayesha. This is well, we know we're asking about the man he said her father.

00:37:51--> 00:38:08

Right. So he was he didn't have any issue, expressing his emotions. If this is the scholar say, if this is what the process is seldom expressed to people, when they ask them, imagine how much he expressed to his wives.

00:38:09--> 00:38:25

And some people find expressing their feelings or their emotions to be not manly or to be not appropriate, which is not the case because the Prophet sallallahu Sallam used to express his feelings sallallahu alayhi wasallam

00:38:26--> 00:39:09

and the prophet SAW the lies and not only did he express his feelings, but he expressed also his let's say anything like, if there is something that that that is confusing him or if there is something that is, you know, that he was very observant, Salalah he was very observant, which tells you that he took he took, he showed interest and he showed and he took the time to engage the people around them. It was not superficial. I'll just get whatever I want from you. And that's it. No, no, no. So the prophet SAW Selim told Ayesha Alisha, I indeed know when you are not happy with me, and when you are pleased.

00:39:11--> 00:39:21

She said How? She said he said that whenever you're not happy, whenever you have issues, right? You say by the Lord of Abraham.

00:39:24--> 00:39:36

Like in your in your speech, you know, you know how like we say, by God, by by the Lord of the heavens on Earth, some people have a way to always say, but whenever you are pleased with me, you say by the Lord of Mohammed.

00:39:38--> 00:39:41

Right? What's the point here?

00:39:42--> 00:39:51

When the scholars look look at you know, they examine this statement, they say, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he noticed that there is a pattern.

00:39:52--> 00:40:00

Right? He never said to her when she said, what would be put on him? What is that supposed to mean? He didn't take it personally. That's number one. Number two.

00:40:00--> 00:40:23

He noticed that there is a pattern. And he took that he took advantage of it. In other words, when you notice your wife saying or using a language or an expression that she normally uses when she's frustrated or upset, or of course, it's the same thing goes for the men, when you're when your husband is using an expression that he uses, usually uses when he's, you know, you need to pay attention.

00:40:24--> 00:40:43

Right? They may not be saying, I'm angry with you. But that is, that is a hint. That is a clue for you. Right? So maybe you might want to do something about it. Nor did the promise I said I'm going to her and say By the way, sometimes you get mad for no reason and it doesn't make sense. It doesn't matter if the person is not

00:40:44--> 00:40:57

right. It doesn't matter whether you think that their anger or their their their their reaction is justified or not, right. We also notice that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

00:41:01--> 00:41:11

was very, that not only was he understanding, but he was also sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he would you know,

00:41:12--> 00:41:15

he would go not go out of his way, but he will make sacrifices

00:41:17--> 00:41:22

for the for the for the sake of the of the other individual, as well as for the sake of maintaining peace.

00:41:24--> 00:41:26

Our Isha and have supplied it one time.

00:41:28--> 00:41:31

So it was hafsa, Arusha

00:41:32--> 00:41:33

and Xena

00:41:34--> 00:41:55

right, their homes were like next. So the Prophet sallallahu Sallam and their homes or their apartments were next to each other. Right with with a little, let's say, like open area in between each room, right in between two rooms. So the process of setting them sometimes when he goes back when he comes from the masjid, he would go through

00:41:56--> 00:42:21

the labs apartment. Right? And then he will go to Arusha. And then he will go, if he let's say, wants to say Salaam to them greet me, sorry, I'm sorry, you know, in the middle of the day, and the Prophet had this habit by the way off during the day, in the daytime, he would make a stop, he will go around, and he will make a stop check on each one of them. How are you? How's everything doing? You know, do you need anything You know? So.

00:42:23--> 00:42:24

So I should have saw

00:42:28--> 00:42:31

and the promises lm, Zayn have had a type of honey.

00:42:32--> 00:42:41

Right? That she used to be able to afford and that she used to choose to bring, right she always had had plenty of it. And the pharmacist loved it.

00:42:42--> 00:42:51

So whenever he stopped, he will, she will offer some some of it because he knew the products and sell them loved it. And maybe that will make him spend more time.

00:42:53--> 00:42:55

So he will eat that honey and then

00:42:56--> 00:43:02

have sign actually didn't like that. Or they wanted to. She said you know she has something that we don't have.

00:43:03--> 00:43:06

Right? And we don't like it anyway. So.

00:43:07--> 00:43:08

So

00:43:09--> 00:43:16

if he comes to you, right? Tell him that, that I smell something Yeah, you smell your breath smells.

00:43:17--> 00:43:33

If he comes after, you know, and when he comes to me, I'll say the same thing. So they agree, they plotted and the prophet SAW Selim made a stop. And when he was talking to Ayesha, I she was like, Mashallah, what is that smell? You know, your breath smells?

00:43:37--> 00:43:37

And he says,

00:43:39--> 00:43:40

of course, he knows.

00:43:41--> 00:43:47

He goes to have some, and then they start talking have said like, what what's your breath smells?

00:43:49--> 00:44:11

So he said, Oh, must be the honey. Right? And the process I was very self conscious about about his his breaths will allow him in his breath never smelled by the way. His blessed breaths will allow them, you know, but it was a plot he wasn't aware of it's a lesson. So the process will allow it so it says I he vowed he said I will not eat that honey again.

00:44:14--> 00:44:20

Right. So he forbade himself from it. He didn't say well deal with it. I love it. I love smoking.

00:44:22--> 00:44:25

It's my habit. I know people who said well,

00:44:27--> 00:44:30

if I have to choose between you and smoking hookah,

00:44:31--> 00:44:33

I will stick with hookah

00:44:35--> 00:44:38

or cigarettes or any other substance.

00:44:40--> 00:44:41

This is honey

00:44:42--> 00:44:45

Heller pure some of the boxes Adam loved.

00:44:46--> 00:44:46

Right.

00:44:48--> 00:44:51

And it's not harmful in the prophecy, like Sam said, Well, I will not eat it.

00:44:52--> 00:44:52

That's it.

00:44:55--> 00:44:58

And it took a revelation to come down from heaven

00:44:59--> 00:45:00

to make progress

00:45:00--> 00:45:34

Sell them go back and persuade the profits of the lesson. And I'll have some hats out revealed to him Yeah, you're gonna be Oh prophet Lima to help him Oh my Allah, Allah Allah. Why would you make that wish God made lawful to you? Why would we? Why would you make it forbids yourself from it. And Allah reveal to us the purpose why the Prophet did that? A lot reveal to us the motive behind it cavitary Mahabharata is seeking to please your wives. So Allah told us in the process of that when he did that he sought his he did it for the sake of his wives.

00:45:35--> 00:45:35

Right?

00:45:37--> 00:45:48

Or profit? Why would you make that with God made lawful to you? Why would you forbid yourself for the sake of pleasing your wives in Allah Subhana Allah to Allah.

00:45:50--> 00:45:55

And then Allah Subhana Allah told the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in that revelation that this was a plot

00:45:57--> 00:46:34

right in the province of Salem, and I should have said, I had to come clean. And they told the Prophet salallahu alaihe salam, and the Prophet By the way, did not threaten them or anything, the Prophet did not make a big deal but I lined up and said to them, to have son Isaiah into two but you know what, if a consult lucuma now you have learned a lesson that a lot the God can inform him, don't play these kind of games as a messenger of Allah. Right? And if you repent to Allah Subhana with Allah then Allah Subhana Allah will purify your hearts, repent to Allah, right will enter Mahara Allah, but if you continue to plot against him, remember for in Allahu Allah, Allah, Allah is

00:46:34--> 00:47:17

his his supporter, when you breathe, and jabril is on his side was Harley helmet meaning and the righteous believers? Well, mela ketubah Delica Bahia and all the angels. So you don't wanna you don't want to play this kind of game. You know, you're offended, genuinely you're offended. You have personal issues, no problem, right? But to intentionally play this kind of game with a messenger of Allah is not appropriate. So stop, stop these things. And I shouldn't have never did anything like that. Again. The point here that we want to highlight is that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was willing to forbid himself from something because he felt it bothered. It bothered his

00:47:17--> 00:47:31

wives Salalah Davison baby home. And he of course tells us that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was so you know, and his other wives said the same thing. The first thing that when he comes home, he would brush his teeth

00:47:33--> 00:47:34

right

00:47:35--> 00:47:35

now

00:47:44--> 00:47:47

and so hello Allah, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

00:47:50--> 00:47:53

Okay, let's take just one more example.

00:47:56--> 00:48:05

Well, there are multiple examples, and sometimes it's just very hard to, to, to pick. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

00:48:09--> 00:48:24

said, to Arusha when a pacinian men were celebrating in the early days of Hydra. Right? They were celebrating eight and they were dancing in the masala in the machine. They were dancing.

00:48:26--> 00:48:27

And I could hear them

00:48:29--> 00:48:48

and the process of sell them. Some some people came and they said, What are they doing? The processes that leave them alone, they're celebrating. They're doing their own thing. And the problem I seldom thought Russia would would be entertained by this or enjoy this. So when he went inside his his apartment, he said, actually would you like to watch?

00:48:50--> 00:48:51

Instead, of course,

00:48:52--> 00:49:19

some form of entertainment. I would like to watch out of courtesy. So he said, Okay, come and he sat down. And he had her. In one narration says that she had her chin on her on his shoulder, and her cheek against his cheeks. Right? And another nourishing says that he had her next to him. And the person who put his garment on on her. Right. So they're both covered with one garment. She's watching.

00:49:20--> 00:49:23

Right? So she's watching. And she said

00:49:24--> 00:49:28

the process of them kept telling me asking me if I had enough. He's like,

00:49:29--> 00:49:32

are you still enjoying this? She's like, hey, I want to watch more.

00:49:34--> 00:49:35

We're sitting at home.

00:49:36--> 00:49:58

And he's like, Are you done? She says, No, no, no, not yet. Okay? And it took like three or four times. Finally she said, Yeah, I'm done. And she said, and I didn't really care. The whole time when he was asking me, I didn't really care to watch. She said, I just enjoyed being next to him and close to him. And I wanted the rest of the other wives to see

00:49:59--> 00:49:59

that I was

00:50:00--> 00:50:00

Special.

00:50:01--> 00:50:04

So it may be harder. I just wanted to basically

00:50:09--> 00:50:22

she he comes home one time, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and actually tells him messenger of Allah. I want to tell you a story of 10 women, who in Mahalia decided to gossip about their husbands.

00:50:24--> 00:50:35

And they decided to be very, you know, long Heidi. So she told them about each one, what what each wife said about her husband's, and approximately Sam is listening.

00:50:36--> 00:50:55

So she told us, she told him about the first one, the second one, the third one, the fourth one, the fifth one, until she reads the 10th. One, and the Prophet is listening, not interrupting. And when she finished, the last one that she mentioned, was a woman by the name of mazara, who was married to a man by the name of Abu Zahra. Now,

00:50:56--> 00:51:03

the women that she mentioned before some of them praise their husbands, but most of them, of course, when they gossip that most of them

00:51:04--> 00:51:22

they were saying negative things about their husbands, and the Prophet is listening. She when she mentioned almanzora, she told him, As for almanzora, she praised her husband, and she spoke about her husband greatly. And she said My husband is Abu Zahra. Right. And she mentioned the story of praise.

00:51:23--> 00:51:39

Praise His daughter, her stepdaughter, his daughter from she praised his neighbors. She prays everything about him, even the food, she prays everything about him. But then almost all I said to the women, however, then

00:51:40--> 00:51:43

divorced me, and he married another woman.

00:51:44--> 00:51:47

And I married another man after a loser.

00:51:48--> 00:52:29

But she's still talking about I was, she said, I am the wife of his daughter, though it wasn't actually her husband. It was her ex. So she and she, and she said, Now I'm married to another man after abuser who gave me more than what Amazon gave me in terms of quantity. But she says, If I was to collect everything that this man gave me, the second husband was very rich person. She said, it would not be equivalent to a cup from the cups of a loser. She's still her first husband, right? And she concluded the story, I shall be alone. She said, Isn't that amazing messenger of Allah.

00:52:30--> 00:52:33

After she ended the story, the process and I said to her, you know how

00:52:35--> 00:52:41

I MTU like a bizarre was to his wife to observe. However, I will never do or see.

00:52:43--> 00:53:05

So the scholar say, look, first of all, he did not interrupt her. He Let her finish the story. He sat down and listened attentively. He wasn't you know, and when she finished the story, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam made a remark that shows that he was really engaged, interested, right, listen, he was an active listener. And then he actually, you know, ended it on that note, right?

00:53:07--> 00:53:26

People might look at and say, Why Shama? He was romantic, Danny, the process, tell him, you know, told her, you know, out of all this story, I was there was indeed amazing in terms of how much he loved his wife. But I tell you, I interview as much as I love this wife, except that I would never divorce you. Right. So he he reassured her sallallahu alayhi wasallam.

00:53:28--> 00:53:29

Last

00:53:30--> 00:53:33

point to be mentioned, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

00:53:35--> 00:53:36

may read

00:53:37--> 00:53:39

about 11 or 12 times.

00:53:41--> 00:53:56

Right? He married more than 12 times 13 times. One that ended up in divorce. Right. And two or three women that died in his lifetime. So the law I think he was selling them into including

00:53:58--> 00:54:04

including Khadija, right? Sorry, that died and his wife Khadija and Zainab.

00:54:05--> 00:54:06

Right.

00:54:07--> 00:54:10

Xena Misaki. And,

00:54:11--> 00:54:18

and when the scholars looked at and then eventually he, when he dies, all of a sudden, there were nine, nine wives that were left behind.

00:54:20--> 00:54:25

He married a widow, actually more than one widow. He married.

00:54:27--> 00:54:28

a divorce. You know,

00:54:29--> 00:54:32

more than one. Khadija was divorced twice

00:54:33--> 00:54:36

with children from both marriages.

00:54:37--> 00:54:45

Right when he married her solo lesson. He married women that were his age like masala was almost his age solimar.

00:54:46--> 00:55:00

Khadija was older than him, right? He married women that were younger than him. He married a relative, right like Zaynab. He married women that are not related to him. He married someone from from

00:55:00--> 00:55:44

different culture, right? He married someone who was, who was a Jew, and it converted to you know, so, so they said that, you know this, when you look examine the marriages of the prophets and one of the benefits we learn from this, and the reason he had all these situations is we saw, we see how the Prophet sallallahu Sallam dealt with each case. And he was able to adjust and he was able to accommodate each one sallallahu alayhi wasallam because he was a role model, as evidenced by him said the processor was a role model for us in every aspect, right. And some scholars say that if you bring any, any situation, any marriage arrangement, you know, you probably find an example for it in

00:55:44--> 00:56:19

the life of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, right, and he was able Salalah, who I didn't sell up to, because he was the leader. And leader, by the way, doesn't mean that I am, you know, rigid, and I am set on my waist, and you cater to my knees and you do whatever, no, a true leader is a leader that can accommodate his team members, his followers, and work with them. And, and and knows how to inspire them and knows how to cultivate or how to bring the best out of them. Right work with their strength.

00:56:20--> 00:56:44

Try to help them overcome their weaknesses, but understand these weaknesses. That is a true leader of a team. That's what a leader does. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, when we look at his the dynamics of his relationship with his wives, we find that the process of them knew how to deal with each one, when the soul lives in one formula, and we will conclude with this story.

00:56:46--> 00:56:49

And they couldn't make our model.

00:56:50--> 00:56:52

Christ prevented them from making armor.

00:56:53--> 00:57:14

And people saw the prophecy Selim made the Treaty of davia right. And now part of that one of the conditions of the treaty was that the Muslims will not be able to perform that year and they will have to go back and this was an easy this during during the days of Jay Hillier, right, no one was prevented from going to Mecca.

00:57:16--> 00:57:26

This was the first case in recorded in that we know off where someone was prevented from going to perform amaura Not only that, they had already put their hair on cloth.

00:57:27--> 00:58:08

And they were almost there, they could pretty much see the mountains of Mecca. And they were told that they could not perform a mirage that was devastating for them. So when the process I'm told them that we can't do, we need to shave your heads, and you need to slaughter your animals, the company's out of frustration and out of they were so depressed that they didn't actually act upon it. They did not respond. And this was the first time that the companions did not rush to respond to the commandment of the Prophet civilizer. This was a true crisis. And the prophet SAW. Selim was very concerned. So the prophet SAW Selim, and who does he turn to? So what does the Prophet do? He

00:58:08--> 00:58:28

goes to one of his wives, which one does he choose? Almost Allah crisis, almost Salah he goes to Muslim and he says almost Allah, Allah, ganas people, people are going people are going to be the people who are going to be destroyed. They're not responding to me. And he went to the right person.

00:58:29--> 00:58:48

Right? She's not getting emotional and say how dare messenger of Allah, almost selama, calm collected, she knows the psychology. She is from crisis from the early, you know, believers, right? She understands, you know how she said messenger of Allah, don't talk to them, leave them. You go out

00:58:51--> 00:58:53

and have the barber come and shave your head.

00:58:54--> 00:58:59

And you go ahead and slaughter your animals and see what happens.

00:59:00--> 00:59:17

And the prophet SAW sent him took her advice. The Prophet didn't say, Well, I could have thought of this. You know what? He said? Okay, I'll do as you said, did not even, you know, question or argue with her. He said, Okay, we'll do that. So he goes out, and he does that. And what happened?

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Right, immediate, almost like a chain reaction. Immediately, the Sahaba started doing the same thing, because now they saw the prophet SAW, Selim did it, and it's over. Right? And they said, this advice that came from almost cinema, and the President engaging his wife and asking her, perhaps could be one of the most critical moments in Sierra, where the community was saved by the wisdom of this great woman, but also by the consideration of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam for her opinion, and for her contract and his appreciation for her contribution. Right. So a lot for us to learn from the example of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam May Allah is peace and blessings

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be upon him and May Allah

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How to Allah keep us inspired and allow us to follow his example. I know you don't have any questions. So therefore inshallah we will conclude with salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato. We want to end on a good note inshallah.

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Hi.

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A lot of

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stone toss

01:01:52--> 01:01:53

well