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New Challenges Of Raising Up Children

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Mohammed Faqih

Channel: Mohammed Faqih

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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hamdu Lillah wa salatu salam ala rasulillah salam wa sallam, Loma Linda Mercado, Santa Valentino's, Nina Simone

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de kalinina de la comunidad fulll and verbal back.

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shower. Tonight's session is meant to be a discussion

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more than a lecture.

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Please don't don't have any assumptions, because of the of the, of the title that was chosen. It was just to get people's attention.

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But I just want to make a few points here. First of all,

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this is although we're going to be talking about remind ourselves of the

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obligations of the parents toward their children.

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But this is not a session in which I'm trying to make anyone feel guilty. But rather, it is a session to help us as parents.

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And it is an opportunity for us to have to have a healthy discussion. You can't hear me. Can you hear me now? Oh, is that how cool is that? Do we have the wireless?

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Okay, it's an opportunity for us, Shabazz parents to come together and discuss discuss issues of common concern.

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Also, it is.

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My intention is to empower parents, is to empower you as parents. And and, and,

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you know, as we talk about our responsibilities and obligations, and how we can fulfill those responsibilities, obligations, it is not by any means it's not meant to make you feel bad, or make you feel guilty or depress you, or, although some of the things that we will be talking about might be quite alarming and depressing at the same time. So having said that, I just want to say that I call the one of the shields and I said, What advice do you have to have for the parents? And just I guess, jokingly, I mean, he said, not not much, but I remember a story of a man coming to Iraq.

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And he said to him,

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what advice do you give me to help me raise my child, my son, who is one month old?

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So Alright.

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So someone is playing with it?

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So he said, what what what advice do you have for me? To help me raise my child who's one month old? So I'd have said to him, it's too late lipids particle.

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So you miss the train? You missed a train Misa. It's too late, said What do you mean, he said, if you really cared about me, you would have come and asked me before you picked his mother.

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So now I again, I don't mean to, to depress any one of us and go like, you know, because I was, I was afraid that, you know, the brothers might look at the the wife side, and sisters will look at their husband's side and go like, that's where the problem started. That's not the intention. But I said some of those stories could really be depressing.

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But indeed, the rights, the rights or the obligation of the parents.

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Start

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early on, when it comes to the point of picking the person with whom you're going to share this responsibility. You know, I was talking to someone I was

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not too long ago.

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Either when you when you are picking someone that will share the parenting or if you're picking another person that will come as a parent as a step, parent.

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You have to really take that into consideration many people when it comes to,

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to their children.

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Let's say they were widowed or they're divorced, and they want to marry someone else, they might take that into consideration now that they have children. But But when they are single, and this is their first time most people don't even think that for so I remember to you know, not too long ago, I was talking to young couples or young individuals who are interested who who are inquiring about prospects. And I said, that person that you're talking about, or you're praying staccato about, and you want to do, do you think they make, they would make a good parent? Do they have that potential? They're like,

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now those are those of them who said, Well, I don't know. Or I know, you know, or how do I know I did it.

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have any problems, but those who said, Well, I never thought about that.

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Those who said, I never thought about that, I had to say, wait a minute, you might need to question

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you might want want to question your intention or your understanding

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of marriage to begin with. Because if you don't, if you're not thinking about that, that that,

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you know, that that part, that means maybe your understanding of marriage, and what marriage is all about is is you have a faulty understanding of marriage. So

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So indeed, the responsibility begins before the child is even born and before the before one even commits to a relationship.

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And then, of course, as we said, in the past, you know,

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one has to educate himself and herself about children's rights.

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You know, lots of Sanatana talks, talks about children in the Quran. And I don't think any, in any divine book, you would find as many details or in any divine revelation, you would find as many details or as many instructions regarding children and their and their

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rights, like you would find in the Quran and the Sunnah of the prophets of Allah.

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So for instance, just as an example, the Quran even talks about the length or the duration of

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nursing and breastfeeding the child

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in verse 233, of sorts to worry that we will

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accommodate him and our mother

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and mother shall give

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shall breastfeed their children for two whole years. That is for those parents who desire to complete the term of breastfeeding.

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So that's how how detail detailed It is, in this slot in the puranic or in the

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Islamic revelation.

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Then a loss of habitat it of course gives a general commandment Yeah, you have Edina mn o qu l sakamaki. coonara. O you who believe

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guard off yourselves and your families against fire.

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When the Quran comes in, addresses the issue of killing emphasizing killing children. Now, one of the beautiful things about Islam is that it came in it changed this notion that was present before about children being a burden or responsibility or it is a responsibility but then being a burden of some kind. Right.

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Or an earnings. Some people think that it's it shows their how

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or a privilege, it changed it to,

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to pointing that children are a gift from Allah subhanho wa that

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they are a gift from Allah, the Almighty subhanho wa Taala.

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As it says, a criminal Elijah Kumasi, no adva home for in our ledger, coup de la ko

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honor your children and bring them up well honor them.

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And when you honor something, you have to be happy, you have to be excited, you have to have positive feelings about it, honor your children and bring them up well, verily, your children are a gift for you. It is a gift. So it is not a liability, but rather it is an investment. And there's a big difference between the two mindsets. The one that thinks that oh, this is an investment, it's an acid, it's a gift from Allah subhanaw taala. And when you have a gift, you know, depending on how you treat that gift, and how you take care of that gift, right, it will either benefit you or it will just be a waste. Right? As opposed to those who feel our children on a burden is a headache,

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it's a problem and have negative attitude about it.

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You know, they even go into the whole the whole stage of parenting with a negative attitude.

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So the prophets basically in this statement, which was related by a money manager comes in corrects this, this misconception children are a gift from all walks of credit that whether it be a boy or girl or two boys into girls who are more or less, you know, whatever amount Allah subhanaw taala gives you in whatever combination of Mohammed Allah gives you, it's all a gift from Allah Subhana Allah, right. And you have you have to basically honor it and be very excited about it. And of course,

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you know, the Quran or the sooner go further and, you know, letting us know that there are certain things that we have to

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Take care of like, you know, giving them a good name. We talked about this in the past.

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And, you know, bringing them up according to the Islamic standards and teaching them Quran and Sunnah, teaching them the basic, the basics of their faith. And the basis of their Dean. Dean means the way your vision or the way you view life.

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How you view life determines how you live life.

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And it is very important that we do that early on. We don't wait until they have already formed,

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you know, an opinion and they have already, they have already developed an understanding of the world, you have to start with teaching them their Dean Dean, again, when we say, Dean, we're talking about way of life.

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Right? We're not only talking about Salas, no, we're talking about making the connection, why you pray?

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Who is it that you're afraid to, and why you pray?

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Many of us unfortunately, fail when it comes to this. We show them the technical parts of it. We teach them that the details, you know, we missed some of some of us are not even doing a great job in that. But we show them the details, or you pray five times a day, we give them the numbers and we give them the technical part of the technical aspect of it. We forget about the essence,

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you know, who it is that you pray to? And why is it that you pray?

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And what prayer should, you know signifies and what prayer should teach you and and all of these things, we don't focus on that.

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And that again, as I said, it starts on, you know, it starts early on, for example, I took prayer as an example. But the Prophet Solomon is and it says,

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Moodle, Elijah bisola, Abdullah said, you start at the age of seven, with Salah,

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now you start ordering him to pray at the age of seven, you don't start teaching him how to play the age of seven.

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Because if you order someone to pray, that means he's already familiar with how it works.

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And how it is you don't have to start teaching them that.

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Right?

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You start ordering them, of course, and another narration that says that teach them at the age of seven.

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Right?

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Now you do that. And then the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said, hurry, Rodrigo Mali rush,

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that, you start punishing them at the age of 10. After you have done an excellent job for three years, trying to teach them, motivate them, inspire them, show them how to pray, right? At the age of 10, you show them that this is a serious matter, this is where you're not going to compromise.

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Anything else you might, you know, you know, depending on how, how it is and what your role is, but certain things we might compromise on, but when it comes to somebody don't compromise on that.

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You don't compromise on salah

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and you have every right to check on them and whether they prayed or not.

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Right? And don't and I would say yeah, you don't make it, you know, I would personally you know, once the person has committed and develop that attachment, there's a lot for three years after that you can pretty much torture them. What I mean by torture them we're not talking about physically, but you know,

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and emotionally for not praying.

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And it will be a torture the minute you blame someone for not doing something that they're they're there they have committed to for three years, it will be torture, it's enough for you to say poor person, I feel very bad, you know, because

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somehow Allah I mean the standards have changed tremendously.

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And we need to revive that somehow we need to revive this, we need to find a way because our commitment to Salah is not is not good, is not good. And this is the struggle that each and every single one of us has. I mean, I was reading about the Sahaba and how this habit of one last thing if someone was to miss the Salah, sorry, not necessarily. If someone was to miss

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the community.

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They missed the first the beginning of the prayer in German

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they would give him there

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they will they will give him condolences.

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They will say you know they will give them their condolences. We feel sorry for a whole day people will say oh we feel sorry for you.

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So okay, so Okay, shall now condolences that doesn't mean that they are going to put him down or make him feel bad. No, he will be so devastated and so sad.

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For this big huge loss that people feel compelled and obligated to come and show their support and say you know we're sorry for your loss. It's okay. It's okay Charlotte Allah May Allah reward your you know, optimum level as your now what if he misses the Salah altogether, sorted him out

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three days as if he had

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loss a relative for three days, that person will be so devastated for three days. So it was a culture of Salah nowadays we're

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we can go on about our

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our affairs.

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So we need to revive that

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one time I remember that we talked about this issue so much that the youth amongst themselves on their own, nobody told them this the youth amongst themselves, they started coming up with all kinds of creative ways to motivate each other to come and pray.

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And the message especially for your prayer.

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One of those things that they I think they did in one place was that if someone was to miss three consecutive prayers

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in JAMA

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in some places in the machine, of course, and one place the brothers would give him a scarf that he's he's to wear for the whole day. And he wrapped it around this

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Northwestern system.

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And another place they would you know how they have those things that you spray on the car? They use a What do they call

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are the things that you spray on the car and you like write writing?

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What do they call the those things that you spray on the glasses of a car? dealers use them? They have

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spray paint or something?

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Yeah, that guy, they will come and they just spray his car all over the place all over his car saying a loser if he missed a lot like for three consecutive days.

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No, no, no graffiti. No, no. But they it's removable. It's Yeah, you can wash it off. And he's he's to keep it for the whole for the whole week. He has to keep it for the whole week. So that's part of the but again, that was an attempt from them to create a culture where they celebrate and they

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you know, so Pamela Well, lucky, I saw people more devastated for Lakers losing.

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Right, than they were devastated for other things that matter much more.

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I could see I could see on their faces and it's so sad and devastated. hurts, like deeply hurt. And I feel for them I feel for all the fans of the Lakers here. Not being me not being one of them, by the way. I don't like the Lakers.

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I just have to put that on record. So I feel I feel Alabama love.

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I give you my condolences and I feel very sorry for your loss.

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Okay, so, now that we have said this, of course, one more right, or one more obligation parents have is that the akiha I don't know whether we mentioned this before or not but

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but the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam taught us that we should I slaughter an animal on behalf of our daughters and two on behalf of our sons

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and give away the meat and this is this is basically the concept of athletes. Now that I have said that one thing, of course, that prompted me to bring the subject again was the fact that we are summertime.

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Right and many of our kids are getting off school and summertime comes with all kinds of opportunities, challenges and risks and dangers. Right. As I said before, vitality during summertime increases right. And actually this month and next

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actually Mays it starts increasing the the the the rate starts increasing, and it reaches its peak next month in July.

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And one of the leading causes of death amongst teens is car crash.

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And those crashes are very often whenever it involves teas, they're deadly, they're very bad. You know, most of the crashes that involve teens are are very bad, horrible. It's not like you know, so something needs needs to happen. In addition to those kind of dangers that we have out there and risks that we have out there. We have many issues that we need to talk about. Hopefully, my intention is tonight is to engage you

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and Sharma in coming up with strategies and ways of of getting more involved with the youth and the youth committee wants your help. The youth committee wants to involve you more, wants you to be more active, you know, be a little more proactive, and it's opening basically the youth committee is open

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They're there, their doors for you to come and contribute for the parents of our our youth.

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And we understand that we have many issues to, to, to talk about, we have, you know, stages of development, you know, and what comes with that coping with teens, depression and suicide. There's there's a program actually at Mr. Durham and

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Islamic Society of Orange County,

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about there was a rise in suicide amongst Muslim team last year. very alarming, several cases, actually, last year, out of the 10s of people that died last year, you know, several of them were kids who committed suicide.

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Which means there is something that needs to be done, many of our kids may be depressed, we don't even know, depression is a leading cause for suicide, by the way amongst teens.

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You know, we need to talk about driving safety for teens, we need to talk about teen health issues, anger management, you know, helping them handle the stress. So many of them are graduating from high school, they have all kinds of stresses. By the way, one, one theory out there speaking about distress is that many of us are having right now many

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youth programs are having hard time with those teens, or those kids that went through Junior High years and high school

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in the post 911 era, by like, right after, like, if you if you think and you know, when someone brought this to my attention, I was like, Whoa, that makes sense.

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Now, it was a lot easier for me to handle

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kids who are like, teenagers, right? And high schoolers

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before 911, than it is now.

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And basically, someone made the connection, they said, it is those who went through

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the public school system, or they went through school after 911 like for about maybe four or five years after 911 and had all kinds of

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issues that they were dealing with, you know, identity, you know, issues, how who do they identify themselves with, and many of them were very, you know, uncertain about their, you know, allegiance about their their affiliation about who they belong to, and who they are. And there was so much confusion that that many of that it had an impact. We don't understand or we don't yet know, the depth

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and the extent of that, of those events,

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on on them. I personally don't know of any study app not not that I did extensive research, I don't know of any study that really targeted that that age group, and try to see what happened to them. What kind of effects

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you know, 911 had on those on those kids. I know we were in when I was in San Diego in 2003, we were trying to establish a program that was actually supported and it was it was sponsored by

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the by San Diego, not San Diego State actually careful. University of California, San Diego use us, UCSD, you know how to. And we were able, after a year of trying hard with the help of other organizations, we were able to secure a grant of almost $200,000 from the government

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just to deal with the issue of the effect of 911 and the Iraq war on the Muslim kids. And that area.

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And some of us sometimes think that those things don't affect them or maybe didn't have anything to do with, with the issues that we're dealing with the difficulties we have with them. It did.

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And I'm very certain that it that it did. So we need to look into that. And we need to have people go out there and say listen, what can we do? What kind of cities are out there that talk about the effects of those? Because if you think about it, you just put yourself in their shoes. You're You're a Muslim kid whose name is Mohammed or Osama or or Saleh Abdullah or a Muslim girl whose name is you know, potty motor or whatever any any minute, you know, it even had an effect on non Muslims who are middle who look Middle Eastern, or you know, and you're going to your junior high or you're going to even elementary school late like fifth grade. And now your acid kids talk and nobody stops and they

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don't know what is appropriate, what is not appropriate. And you're asked all kinds of questions. Where are you guys? Are you guys trying to kill us or you guys hate us the zero? You know, all these questions that people have in their mind. You know

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And, and nobody taught you and unfortunately, as a community, we we didn't do a good job in preparing our kids, even after 911 somehow a lot. Some, some communities were preoccupied with other programs as opposed to, instead of like paying attention to them and and help them cope with this, teach them how to answer how to respond how to deal with those kind of issues, I had people come in conference asked me, they are so confused as to whether they're Americans or Arabs or Muslims, or, as if there is any conflict between them, they're so confused about it. To the extent where it really it really hurts them internally, I mean, they have this kind of internal conflict.

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And unless parents really help their children cope with these kind of issues and talk to them about it, they're they're going to develop all kinds of complexes, or they're going to try to find answers on their own, some of those answers may be very even more might even cause more confusion. So it is those is that age group that we are right now having a hard time with.

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It is that age group is that that group that are now now graduating high school, or they're, they're in college, right, they're the ones that that we we seem to even the older, I don't want to call them youth anymore, they're young professionals who have graduated, and some of them earn, you know, master's degree, or some of them are working right now. And they are leading some of those youth activities and programs, they are having a hard time connecting with them. And they're only a few years apart, they're having a hard time connecting with them as if there is so these kinds of events, in addition to

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I would say, in addition to technology, as according to one parent technology has created a big generation gap, in addition to technology, this rapid, you know, growth of technology, and right, all these factors widen or make make, they create this huge and big gap, the gap is even bigger. sea change takes place in a very rapid rate these days. So even even second generation, kids or young professionals who were born and raised here, seem to have problem connecting to the next generation, let alone parents, you know, who are either from overseas or parents who have cultural gap with their children.

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And it seems that we are not yet alarmed, you know, you know,

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hard enough for us to say, you know, we need to tackle those issues to talk about them and give them some some priority.

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So what are what are the kids going to do during this this summer? What kind of plan do we have for them? Are we going to leave them to whatever they were used to before? Are we going to just

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get them that laptop they've been asking for? Where are they going to spend their time? Do we have any plan as families, communities and this couples or not? Let me just tell you that.

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Now, how many of you, by the way have have teenage kids at home?

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How many of you

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Okay,

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now, how many of you have there your kids have? have computers? And you have internet connection?

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No, no computers?

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How many of you heard of Facebook? I think we should dedicate a whole session about this for Facebook, how many have how many have Facebook accounts here out of the parents, you the parents or any of the people who are present? How many of you have facebook, facebook? Okay, now how many of you know whether their children have Facebook or not?

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Okay, this is your homework you need to go ask your kids if they have Facebook account.

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Chances are they do.

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Their normal kids, their normal kids they will have.

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Now someone might come and say my child doesn't have a Facebook account. And they're very normal. And I'm not saying that they're not normally abnormal. They're super amazing. If they don't have one, if they believe that they if you didn't stop them, and they are on their own said I don't want to have one. Then there is something special about them. Please let me know who they are. I'd like to basically basically engage them in our

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programs, but a normal kid, even organizations care has

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face, Facebook page or Facebook, what are they call account?

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They don't have Facebook.

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Okay, hamdulillah good mallozzi Allah bless you. Now again, it is it is a resource out there. But it is a very interesting phenomenon Facebook and MySpace and those kind of social networking websites

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are a very interesting phenomenon.

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Here's what is interesting about I mean, there are so many things that you know, and I think you should read about them and find out what it is and what. But

00:30:45--> 00:31:05

what is interesting is and of course, adults are into it, it started with in college, you know, for it started in 2004, I believe, for college students do network with each other. Right. And it's spread it amongst high schools, right. And then it became a it became a phenomenon, it became a trend,

00:31:06--> 00:31:18

right? You even have people professionals, you know, who are who have now Facebook accounts, and all of a sudden, they were able to connect with their

00:31:20--> 00:31:31

friends and people that they grew up with, and people that they haven't spoken to for 40 years, it's amazing. It just brings all this, it makes it makes that whole, you know,

00:31:32--> 00:31:55

list of friends that you have, you've forgotten about available. And now, if you can't find them, they will find you just by putting yourself out there. But the danger of it is that not only your friends will find you but also other people will find you. And this is the dangerous part when it comes to kids. But that's not what I want to talk about. Maybe hopefully, inshallah we'll dedicate a whole

00:31:56--> 00:32:11

you know, event or we'll have you know, to talk about about it in Shanghai's region before the beginning of the school year, or when the school year begins. But my question is, why do people have the need

00:32:12--> 00:32:20

to sign up for these kinds of services? What is it that makes people do this and spend hours it's very addictive, by the way, very addictive.

00:32:22--> 00:32:35

I really want want us to look into what kind of people really get on this and what kind of people have time have 1234 hours a day to spend on these kind of forums and websites?

00:32:36--> 00:32:53

And what is it that they say to each other? You know, I thought I knew some something about it, when I started researching it. And then I found out that there are so many things that are were introduced and added there is something called I forgot message board or something. There is something called poking, there's something called

00:32:55--> 00:32:56

let's see.

00:32:57--> 00:33:01

But let me just read read to you examples of what kind of

00:33:03--> 00:33:10

let me just explain what it is okay, Facebook is a website, basically, where are you going to sign up, and you have your own account.

00:33:11--> 00:33:39

Now, once you have an account, once you put yourself out there, you know, you could go and look for friends for people, you can search for people that that you know, and you'll be amazed just put any last name that you're familiar with, you'll find, you know, I was Whoa, you know, when I found some of my nieces and my nephews I was like, Yeah, so, you find these individuals, right. And you basically send them a message that you want to be added to their friends list.

00:33:40--> 00:33:44

Which is by the way, another issue that the my book,

00:33:45--> 00:33:50

MySpace and Facebook culture, change the definition of certain certain

00:33:52--> 00:34:01

value the terms and concepts for example, friendship, means totally, you know, in that culture means something different.

00:34:02--> 00:34:29

You know, it means a friend there is not necessarily a friend as means, you know, so it's even changing that. It is it is not is not something to be taken lightly. So anyways, you go and you ask to be one of their friends, automatically, they will add you to their friends list. Once you are in and you're on their friends list. Now you can, you can view all of their friends, so automatically you become the friend

00:34:30--> 00:34:31

of all of their friends.

00:34:34--> 00:34:48

And people start now sending you messages wanting you to be added to their friends. And sometimes people even compete in terms of how many friends they have. So you have individuals you have people they're having like hundreds of friends, hundreds of friends,

00:34:49--> 00:34:59

all of whom can see all of their pics or their images or their pictures. They can see all of their messages. They can see all of their personal whatever information whatever you prefer.

00:35:00--> 00:35:00

out there.

00:35:02--> 00:35:05

They see. And here's what what when parents said,

00:35:15--> 00:35:16

in my day,

00:35:18--> 00:35:33

this is the parents saying, in my day, we had secret diaries, we used to have our own secret secrets that we don't want to share with our parents. Right? But But nowadays, they can have a whole secret life on the web.

00:35:34--> 00:35:45

You know, what is very sad about this is that it is only a secret from you, but the whole world knows it. Everybody else knows everything about your children, except you.

00:35:48--> 00:36:01

You know, when I saw some of the people and what kind of images they have in images tell you a picture tells you, as they say write an image speaks 1000 words, it tells you a lot about the person and what the person is thinking.

00:36:03--> 00:36:07

You see some images that express really how our kids feel or what they're into.

00:36:08--> 00:36:12

And I'm talking about everything. I'm talking about even people putting,

00:36:13--> 00:36:17

putting army uniform, and holding

00:36:19--> 00:36:36

what looks like a machine gun, just you know, and basically cover their faces are covered and the only their eyes show. And there's the paws like that, or they use pictures like that. Now, when you when I when I talk about this type of picture, many parents are like, oh my god.

00:36:37--> 00:36:47

Really? Yeah. On the other hand, of course, we have people what they're that, you know, take pictures. And it looks like they forgot to wear something in those pictures.

00:36:49--> 00:37:25

And now those those images and those that information and those messages could be seen by hundreds. Here's I just printed some of those images here. And Muslim This is a Muslim name. I'm gonna say blank, blank. And this is a Muslim name a very Muslim name. Right? So this apparently, maybe girl or boy I don't know, says to this Muslim boy. mentions the name and then says, haha, what's up I haven't talked to you in a long time. You still owe me from all the food I gave you a dream English.

00:37:27--> 00:37:34

And all those times I let you cheat off my cheat off me during tests.

00:37:36--> 00:37:43

So if that's your child, then you know that the your child was cheating from this individual. Okay, that's what it's gonna tell you.

00:37:46--> 00:37:54

Okay, I'll give you another shocking one here. This is a very shocking one. I was shocked because I didn't know what it meant until someone explained it to me.

00:37:56--> 00:38:02

And this is a girl. Maybe it's a girl. I don't know. You can't tell. You know from the names.

00:38:04--> 00:38:13

You've been? You've been stalking me. You've been stalking me. And viewing my Andy pics.

00:38:14--> 00:38:15

You know what Andy pics means?

00:38:17--> 00:38:21

How many people know what Andy picks me? I just got to know this tonight tonight. What does it mean?

00:38:23--> 00:38:24

So

00:38:26--> 00:38:28

what does it mean? Yeah, and the pics?

00:38:29--> 00:38:30

What is undie?

00:38:33--> 00:38:51

Okay, so Andy picks me his picture in an underwear and the person posing pregnant that's what it means. So here's a person talking I mean, this is public. By the way. This is not the ones who have an accountant you can get into it. You can see all these so I asked someone that had an account to print that some of these things. Hahaha. Don't trip dog.

00:38:52--> 00:39:04

That was a beer day. weekend weekend for me. Trust me. I will dunk you out dunk on you. Sooner or later. Just a matter of time homie.

00:39:05--> 00:39:13

Now go back to your midlife crisis. Chick home so homeless or something? Like I don't know what that means.

00:39:14--> 00:39:15

This is how they talk to each other.

00:39:18--> 00:39:21

Okay, here's a girl saying telling someone.

00:39:23--> 00:39:31

So I'm kind of sad that you never left me a comment to wake up to sad face. You broke my heart.

00:39:33--> 00:39:34

Text me I miss you.

00:39:39--> 00:39:39

Okay.

00:39:42--> 00:39:49

Okay, finally. Oh, sounds good. We need to kick it before I moved to Colorado.

00:39:53--> 00:39:57

So, and there are many things. Some of those things is what's up

00:39:58--> 00:39:59

and then the next day someone replied to them.

00:40:00--> 00:40:24

Nothing much. And then the next day, what is it that people are looking for? What do they call, actually, they're called social networking. social need brothers and sisters is a basic human need. If this tells you anything, it tells you that we have a need, and our kids have a need, and everybody is looking for an outlet to fulfill those needs, social needs. Where are those kids coming from?

00:40:25--> 00:40:38

What kind of social? I mean, what kind of message does this does this send us there are social needs out there that are not being fulfilled or met, you know, so maybe something needs to be done about this.

00:40:40--> 00:40:56

If, if you don't have a plan for this summer, then then you know, make sure that make sure that shape one has you know, or make no mistake, that shape one has a plan for your family and for your kids. For the whole for humanity in general kitaen has a plan.

00:40:57--> 00:41:03

So it is you not having a plan, a community not having a plan versus shape, one having a plan.

00:41:05--> 00:41:12

And by the way, there are all kinds of industries out there that actually make money off it, including MySpace, by the way.

00:41:13--> 00:41:21

I mean, they're not providing a service, every time they intern, they introduce a new service, their intention is to increase the number of hits.

00:41:23--> 00:41:41

Right, the more hits they get, the more rating they have, the better rating they have, the more expensive ads and other things will be, just adds more value, they don't care about dangers and they don't care about and who sets the rules. In those kind of forums, who sets the rules.

00:41:43--> 00:41:50

They set the rules. And when you sign up, you agree to their rules, and to any change that they introduce.

00:41:52--> 00:42:05

You can't say much. So you have all of these people who are part of this huge community, but they have no say, when it comes to the rules governing this community,

00:42:07--> 00:42:37

the only thing you can do is pull out. The only problem is though, once you get in, if you you had already given so much about yourself and about, you know, so much information out there, that it's all over the place. You don't you have no clue, you have no idea who has who has this, these informations. Who has those pics in those pictures, if you remember that big controversy after, you know, the former governor of New York and how the pictures were all over the place.

00:42:38--> 00:43:19

So something needs to happen. And I think the the number, you know, the one advice that I have for you is planned for this for this summer, and plan for beyond the summer, and communicate with your kids and have some kind of understanding. The second message that I have for you is join us in our efforts in the youth committee here as much as I want to, to do something to provide guidance and to provide a network, I think the solution is for you to be involved and for the solution. Or the answer is for you to give us your feedback. And to be proactive, and not shy away from it, nor get frustrated with us.

00:43:20--> 00:43:28

We really need you to be involved. Things are not going your way. I mean, and I'm saying that I am available show.

00:43:29--> 00:44:10

And one of my top priorities for the next show, until the end of the year, and especially for the next three months is to communicate with parents and to get to know you know, the families and to get to know you to get to know your kids. And if there are any issues that you're having that you would like to bring to my attention or to to the youth committee's attention, and if there's anything that you want us to work with you on, or if there if we believe that there's you know, once we build that, once we open that line of communication, if we believe that there is something that we need to talk to you about, we want to feel we want to feel at ease. So we can so we in order for

00:44:10--> 00:44:18

that to happen, we need to break the eyes and get to know each other and you know understand the the you know your circumstances and understand

00:44:19--> 00:44:41

you know, how how you basically you know, like to do things. So unless there is a communication a two way communication between you and us, it won't happen in order for us to to really do a good job. So this is this is the the intention. So right now Shall I would like to hear from you. Let's see what what kind of ideas, concerns or questions you have what are essential.

00:44:48--> 00:44:53

First of all, let me just encourage you how many, by show of hands, how many of you are pleased

00:44:54--> 00:44:59

and again, you don't have to on a scale from one to five, five being

00:45:00--> 00:45:18

100% satisfied you'd like to So, so amazed, you know, on a scale from one to five? How many of you are at five? In terms of your satisfaction with the youth program youth activities? And, and that we have here at Mr. montefalco? children?

00:45:25--> 00:45:25

Okay.

00:45:27--> 00:45:30

All right, how many are at Four? Four out of five? You're like,

00:45:32--> 00:45:36

how many of us will How many of you will give us like four? In terms of fewer?

00:45:40--> 00:45:44

Okay, how many will give us three? Which is average?

00:45:47--> 00:45:48

Three out of five.

00:45:51--> 00:45:55

How many? How many? Give us two out of five, which is below average?

00:45:58--> 00:46:04

Two out of five. Okay, how many? Here's one out of five, which means it's a failure.

00:46:07--> 00:46:10

Okay, now, obviously, we didn't get we didn't get.

00:46:11--> 00:46:12

What's that?

00:46:15--> 00:46:15

Okay.

00:46:17--> 00:46:46

Okay. Okay, Zack, I appreciate that. Now, how many? Okay, so obviously, we didn't get a and that's what we you know, that's what we would want. Obviously, we're not getting B, right. And we're getting a C or a D or an F. That's what we're getting? At? How many of you had to struggle with your kids to bring it to the Friday night? Almost all of us. Now, how many of you took a part of yourself to come and talk to us and say, listen, there's something wrong here.

00:46:49--> 00:46:50

I'm having a hard time.

00:46:52--> 00:47:03

You see, that's what we're talking about. So we don't want this to, we don't want you to shy away or, you know, just to keep it to yourself. We don't want to be frustrated and with them and not be able to go to anyone, right?

00:47:04--> 00:47:08

I know that the youth program that we have here may have

00:47:09--> 00:47:32

worked, maybe it was very, very, very instrumental ever actually, it's helped in one or two or three cases. You know, but it's one or two or three cases out of 10s of cases. So, there is a lot, you know, to I know that we have lost some people, as families as communities, and maybe as a youth program here, we lost some two brokers.

00:47:33--> 00:47:34

You know what I mean?

00:47:35--> 00:47:40

Right? You don't know what the broker says. How many people know what broker says,

00:47:41--> 00:47:42

What's on brokers?

00:47:46--> 00:47:47

An answer?

00:47:48--> 00:47:55

No, no, no. That's good. We don't lose it. We win them and they go to myself. No, no, they go everywhere except Mr. Moussa.

00:47:56--> 00:47:58

They go every No, that's not what we're talking about.

00:48:00--> 00:48:05

The hookah places? Yes. The hookah places over occurs.

00:48:07--> 00:48:19

Did you know that even the chief the Anaheim chief of police, police department, the chief complaint to me he didn't complain? We were talking about it. And he was telling me how how many of our he said you're young.

00:48:20--> 00:48:47

You know, people, you know, are in those places. And these places are getting out of control. They're getting out of control because they don't have. They're not abiding by certain regulations. They're serving tobacco to under age. people they don't, they're not up because they're registered in the city as cafes, they're not obligated to check on IDs. So it's an easy place for someone to go and chill and have fun without being questioned or ID

00:48:48--> 00:48:54

and it's also a good place for people. I mean, it's interesting, they called hookah places, but it's also a place where they hook up.

00:48:56--> 00:49:10

And now even the non Muslim Arabs, I'm talking to Christian Arabs, and as well as secular people who don't even care about religion are having problems having issues and problems, and it's just getting out of control.

00:49:11--> 00:49:12

And it has become

00:49:14--> 00:49:15

the huka Capitol

00:49:16--> 00:49:17

in Orange County.

00:49:18--> 00:49:26

Specifically, that place is getting out of control. I know families that are suffering and I know couples that are suffering young couples,

00:49:27--> 00:49:28

because of this,

00:49:29--> 00:49:37

you know, something has to be done. So maybe our program or not, not not. So what is it that you think we can do or that we are not doing

00:49:39--> 00:49:40

that needs to be done?

00:49:43--> 00:49:46

You know, to to do something about this? Where yes