Mohammed Faqih – Islamic Marriage and Polygamy
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AI: Transcript ©
Allahu Akbar Allah Almighty
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in Al Hamdulillah Muhammad was saying you know what sulfuryl was study or they will lie to Allah miniatura who Sina Amin see Dr. Molina Mayor de la who Philomel Lila, OMA yo lil fella heard the Allah where she had
Isla Illallah who had the whole luxury color wash had one named Mohammed and Abdullah who are a pseudo or Sophia human being a healthy hero. Hello, wherever Bella research Oh, man, one also had he had Hilma Salawat Allahu wa salam Holly. Yeah, you're Latina. Takala Hapa to RT y Temo tune in to the moon.
Yeah, are you hon? Sudoku Rob Docomo, Allah the Halacha come in. I've seen Wahida wahala come in has Jaha over Semyon humeri Jalan Kazuhiro wrong when he says
what tabula rasa and whenever he wants our ham in Allah. How can Alikum rock Eva? Yeah. Are you learning duckula or Kudo? Collins said EDA also. Malcolm Well, we let them do Uber come on many of the ALA Rasulillah taka d'affaires of who was an Alima
ama that My dear brothers and sisters, if you were to ask anyone,
any non Muslim
as to what they know about Islam
they're probably going to tell you that Islam
prohibits the consumption of
pork alcohol and it allows men to marry
for
right
if you were to ask anyone, what's the most popular ruling regarding marriage and family that you're aware of? Or you know,
especially if you ask men, they're going to tell you slam allows a man to marry for you may even have people say things like, oh Islam tells men to marry for
and
We reduced one of the greatest, most amazing
Marriage and Family legal systems
to one particular ruling, and even that particular ruling, we don't have it right.
Because just to be factually accurate and correct, Islam does not allow or promote. I mean, in a way, I mean, it does allow but it does not allow or promote polygamy.
Nor does it actually say to do it.
If anything, Islam was the first religion to restrict
and regulate polygamy.
And Quran was the only divine divine revelation, the only divine revelation that actually puts a restriction on it.
So am I so contrary to the common misconception, and believe that many people have when the verse that speaks about this particular issue, and there's more than one verse, but the verse that he speaks about, must now walk through Lhasa, the very famous verse,
that when that verse was revealed, and the reason I'm mentioning this is because this is one of the points of attack on Islam.
Right. This is one thing that when our children go to college or when they are engaged in some theological or intellectual debate is brought against Islam. It's like one of these charges they
like to Lavie against Islam, or Muslims, or your religion says such and such.
And there is nothing there for us to be ashamed of, or to hide actually is one of the most amazing pieces of legislation and the entire religion. This particular is very fascinating.
But contrary to the common belief, when this verse was revealed,
I have not read anywhere or heard anyone ever say that some of the companions of the promises, and we know the companions of the promises, settling with the way they took the Quran and interacted with the Quran, as soon as Allah Subhana Allah says, Yeah, you Hallelujah, Amen. Oh, they paid attention. And if it's a commandment, even if the Quran is just encouraging them, they were the first people to what? To respond to it, have you? I haven't, have you read, or heard or found anywhere, that any single companion, any single male companion of the Prophet said that when these verses were revealed, said, Oh, subhanAllah, I only have one wife. So however, I need to go and get
more wives.
As a matter of fact, when this verse was revealed what happened? Because it was so common, that men would have unlimited number of
wives. And by the way, also, in the Arabian Peninsula, women were also able to have
multiple partners.
Unfortunately, right.
This was the the the, they were able to do that. When they when this verse was revealed what happened?
Those companions who had an access number, like who had more than one for how to let go
of the extra, that's what happened.
It's not the other way around. So what this verse does it actually restricted and limited, why for not more, only Allah subhana, Allah knows.
But this is the reality. This is just a quick, you know, reminder or correction. So if any, if anyone comes and tells you Islam, don't say no, it's I'm actually restricted and limited.
And it's the only religion that has the most sophisticated,
right? family and marriage and family, laws and system within it. It's very fascinating. This Sunday, you're all invited in sha Allah hooter, Allah
to join us Shala for a seminar about the field of marriage, the jurisprudence of marriage, the tip of marriage, and we won't be able to cover everything, by the way. So it's going to be selected topics, we won't be able to cover everything. But I have to caution you and say that sometimes this this this topic is very complex. There are a lot of details. And sometimes when we give talks or hospitals or reminders, right, we won't be able to cover every aspect of it. So for example, this is a hypothetical example. If I tell you I know an earthly person and earthly man, that Subhanallah found himself a Venusian woman. A Venusian woman, by the way, is a woman it's an imaginary woman
from planet Venus.
They're not real. Just you
And subhanAllah they are married worked out very well. And they're living happily together. I don't want any brother or sister to come and say, Are you saying that earthly women are not good enough? Because that's not what I'm saying.
What I'm saying is this very interesting case of an earthly man marrying a Venusian women, things worked out very well for them. That's why I'm saying,
if anything, what I'm saying is, normally it doesn't go that way.
Right? Because when we shouldn't women don't exist in reality. Venus is just too hot to have. Right?
So what does the Quran say about marriage and marital relationship?
First of all, speaking of this, this idea
that a famous author about marriage and relationships brought that somehow men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. The reality of it is, it's not true men are from Earth. And women are from men.
Right? Because a loss of habitat in the Quran tells us that He created Adam the Quran, he sets the record straight. Allah in the Quran tells us that Allah Subhana Allah created Adam from the substance of this earth
from this earth, right.
And when Adam Alayhis Salam was in Jana, the province of Salem adds a detail
to the story that is mentioned in multiple places in the Quran. The prophesy Selim says that Adam was in Jannah he had Jana alter himself,
for so hasha and then at some point, Adam became bored, Adam became,
you know, felt lonely.
He felt lonely.
So Allah subhanho wa Taala cause Adam Alayhis Salam, this is an authentic hadith causa Adam alayhis salam to sleep to fall asleep. And when Adam woke up, he found Hawa Eve.
And then he found out that Allah subhanaw taala actually created * up from from him. And that's why Allah Subhana Allah, Allah Quran in the verse that we recite every almost every Friday in our sermon, what do we say? Yeah, you oneness, oh people,
it took up the cube, be mindful of your Lord, I let the Halacha come who created you mean they've seen Wahida from a single soul from a single person wahala Kameena ha zoologia. And from that soul, Allah Subhana Allah created
its mate.
And almost there's consensus amongst the scholars, it's talking about who
Adam
and Hawa whom Allah azza wa jal created from Adam. And it's the will of Allah subhanho wa taala. Allah says bow to coming up. In many cases when Allah talks about men and women will mean when they want me to call them only out or Allah subhanaw taala says, laying in a hammock, he mean come in there carrying a bow to come in, but you have each other
to different,
right?
To different but you're the same species.
You're not too different races, you're the same, right? Just two different manifestations
with different aspects and quality so that you can complement one another.
So this is one Quranic fact that we need to be well aware of, and ponder upon and reflect upon, but remember, we are of each other and that's why I tell men
right?
You know, women were a woman was created what was created from Adam La Silla.
So if you somehow
is having trouble
with your woman,
then blame where she came from.
yourself,
you're probably responsible for it, find a way to manage it. And for those who need further
explanation, booked an appointment.
And we can talk about this. As I said, it's a very complex issue. I can't we can possibly in a 1520 minutes, break it down.
So this is one fact that parameters the other fact that could admissions clearly is the purpose of marriage. I believe she has a father who's an expert and specializes in this matter, mentioned something about it last week. And we talked about this because this is the season of marriage and weddings. Right? Mashallah. So the purpose of marriage Allah Subhana Allah to Allah says Lea school Elijah sukoon is mentioned,
which means peace and tranquility and stability.
tranquillity, to find a place of rest and comfort.
This is the purpose of marriage. There are other goals. There are other secondary objectives, but the primary objective of marriage is what?
sukoon? Second, Allah subhanaw taala says, Yes, Canela and so that you can find comfort, peace and tranquility.
That's the purpose of marriage. And that is why in the process of choosing, looking into prospects and choosing a spouse, for yourself, or for someone that you care for someone you care for, you need to
take this into consideration, find someone who's capable of providing sukoon
not Junoon.
Right? Find someone, not someone that drives you crazy. Because you're so in love about them and mashallah they need you know, someone that can provide what? Some stability,
someone who's capable of doing that. And I tell you, we live in a time that is very complicated. It's very, you know, I'm all about simplicity, simplifying things, and I don't want to overwhelm as it is, we already have marriage crisis, and people, you know, you talk to young men, why didn't you want to get married, they're like, No, I don't know anyone who's happy in their marriage. Know, you've got a problem, probably the circle, your circle, your social circle is, is problematic. Because if you don't know anyone who's happy in their marriage within your circle, then we've got a problem, we need to talk book an appointment, please.
So So that's, that's problematic. So and I don't want to add to that, what I'm trying to say here is we live in a very complicated time, things are not the way they used to be. In the old days, people used to live in villages or neighborhoods, very close knit communities and societies, people knew each other, you know, your sister, your aunt, one of the Auntie's in the community, your your grandmother, your maternal, you know,
people knew each other. And they knew they, they knew each other very well. So they knew you. Right? They know the person and they know what kind of person will actually get along with them. So they make they made recommendations. And by the way, research research said this is about 15 year old research that is still valid until this day, right? Research shows that, that there is higher success rate. And marriages that are what current again, contrary to the common belief, arranged marriages don't work. No, no, they worked very well for many people. Right? And by the way, every marriage is arranged anyways, have you ever heard of an enraged marriage? And in somehow people, two
people just randomly run into each other? And, like, one second, they're total strangers, and then the next minute that every marriage is arranged, but we know what they mean by it. But But research shows, right? Is that by relationship experts, and I do have that for anyone who's interested in and where I got the citation from, I have it it's about, you know, I still have the file. It's it's about 10 year old research, that the best marriage and I'm talking from a western point of view, not even this is not done on Muslim community, is the recommendation of your best friends, spouse.
A marriage that is set by your best friend's spouse
out of all the other ways to find someone.
So
if you have a best friend who's married
you're lucky. Sure.
As long as they have good relationship, yeah. Your your friend and his wife has been relationship, otherwise, you're doomed.
So
So sukoon is what we need, right? And that's why the problem is that it makes recommendation the prophesy said it mentions common reasons why people get married. For reasons a man pursues a woman, right? And he mentioned four different qualities. He mentions three, and then the Eve he emphasizes and highlights the fourth which is what religion and then when in the process, I'm talks about someone that comes asking for your daughter or your sister, he says, If someone whose character and religiosity you're you're comfortable with, and Jack Coleman, tell Dona Deena who will Hodaka off here. Why would a man
if if a man comes to you, with whose religiosity
as well as character and another narration, integrity,
these are two different things. They're not conflicting. They complement one another. They go hand in hand, but these are two different things. You could have someone whose religiosity is great, but his character he's got some serious issues and you know, yourself or do you know
Your daughter, you should know your daughter or your sister, you should know
that Oh, someone who is not very patient will not
work for her.
Someone who's not very affectionate will not work. Someone who's not very accommodating
may not be the right person. compatibility is important.
Right? One of the one of the terms that are used in the legal system and Islam is Kufa, in the sheltering school of fish to fat is a condition
compatibility.
Right.
So these are some some I didn't even go through what the Quran says about marriage and relationships. But it's it's a fascinating field. My, the objective of my Hotmail was to really,
you know, provoke you to really go and see what is the Quran just go look up marriage in the Quran. What is it say? Because I tell you, most of our problems, my dear brothers and sisters more most of our issues, pre as well as post wedding stemmed from lack of proper understanding,
lack of information, and lack of application of what we already have in the Quran. Allah Subhana Allah sent this book the Prophet SAW Selim used to counsel his companions regarding marriage, he himself said Allah has sought counseling regarding his own marriage.
The problem with most of us is that we think we know it, we know it all. I've got it all together. Hamdulillah I watch, watch plenty of Bollywood movies and I know all about you know, no romantic comedy and all these fairy tales that we read are actually they actually corrupted us, they actually distorted
and corrupted our understanding of marriage and relationships. It's nothing like that. Unfortunately, most people, this reality hits them after they get married. So we need to educate ourselves. We need to look into what the Quran says. We need to look into the prophetic model and the Sunnah of the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam, we need to look and read
publications and books that are, you know, that are offered to us there is plenty the more I read the more
so that we can avoid making some of the same mistakes that we've been repeating over and over again, damaging our relationships, and damaging, you know, our loved ones, as well as ruining our own lives. Ask Allah Subhana Allah to make you and I have those who listen and follow the vessel for what they listen to Akula The poem was sent through Allah Allah Allah confessor through here, Philomena hola for Orion
Al hamdu Lillahi wa salatu salam ala ala De La Nina Sato about another very interesting piece that we find in the Quran regarding marriage, is that the Quran clearly tells us that marriage requires a needs maintenance.
Right marriage, like any institution, like anything in life, it needs to be maintained maintenance. It's an end marriage, by the way, is not a destination. It's not a goal in and of itself. It's actually a means to something. It's a process. It's a journey. The destination is Jenna.
The objective is Allah to please Allah subhanho wa taala. So marriage requires maintenance of I'll give you just two Quranic tips. There are many, you know, mentioned in the Quran regarding the main the maintenance of our marriages and relationships, in the Quran, in the in the very in the middle, in the midst of these verses that talk about divorce
and marital problems and conflicts and how to deal with them. Abruptly there is a verse that just shows up in the in the middle of the verses that talk about divorce.
Then, abruptly there is a verse that seems to be out of place.
What is that verse? Doctor, sir?
Have you who?
At a Salawat he was swore that you lose? will only Allah hit on a team
have you safeguard and maintain your prayers, all of your prayers, and specifically especially as salah, a Salah to star, there are different opinions as to what the middle Salah is. Most of opinions say it's which what? Awesome.
Very interesting. In the middle of the verses that talk about luck
Hello, hello hello. It was salty rooster Waku moolah here Carnac in and get up at night and prayer, get up and pray together.
The scholar said that's because Salah helps maintain
relationships and help fix marital problems because Salah has you know and dua, right? And people are supposed to, families are supposed to pray together. Allah Subhana Allah praises the family of Zekeriya, ALLAH SubhanA, Allah says,
WA Swapna Allah who is
in the home can we don't want to have to look cantilena
so Allah praises the family they used to worship together.
It is actually there's plenty of research done by many Christian groups, that families that worship together, by the way, even if the worship is wrong, you know,
families that worship together tend to have stronger bond.
And lesser issues, if they're on the same. They have the same belief system. And they come together. You know, radiosity in a spiritual health, improves our emotional and mental health. So they bond and they connect. People come together to prayer they pray together at home. And the problem is, is that even the Hadith talks about Rahim Allah there's also the Prophet may, may Allah have mercy on a man who wakes up in the middle of the night and prays and then when the last portion of the night approaches, he wakes up his wife, feign Abbot if she refuses He lovingly and gently sprinkles water on her face. Gently Yeah.
Not super soaked Yeti.
And the prophesy Sam said it may Allah show mercy to a woman who gets up in the middle of the night and prays. And then she goes wakes up her husband.
And if he refuses if if he's resistant, gently and lovingly, sprinkles water on his face, because I love you so much. I care about you. This is the process. I'm used to do that with his wives. Salalah Listen, nowadays you have you know,
Oh, honey, why didn't you wake me up? I miss fetcher. Well, I told you to wake up you didn't wake up. And when he told me to wake up what did I do? Nothing. You just kept sleep kept snoring.
So that means I didn't hear you. You could have just you know laid your hand on me and I wouldn't.
I don't know. Some husbands and wives just become allergic of touching each other.
No matter what happened. Don't you want this person to be with you and Jana?
Maybe maybe you don't.
This is this is a problem. So the problem says some talks, marriages require maintenance half out of Salawat will still have to stop and it's very interesting of the process um, there's a hadith in which the Prophet says if a man misses out sort of prayer, and that's why we should pray also in German, as much as we can. In any Masjid. You're at hear Mashallah. Mr. Doorman, anywhere you're trying to pray US or in Jamaica? For if a man misses us.
In Jamaica, Africa and NEMA Allahu wa murder. It is as if that person was his family and his wealth was taken from him.
And my heart goes out
to the nine year old boy from from London, from the Muslim community from London, Ontario,
who lost his father, mother, grandmother and his sister. And that horrific and vicious attack on one of our Muslim families, may Allah Subhana Allah grant them the highest place of Jannah. May Allah subhanaw taala give them genital for DOS, may Allah grant the martyrdom right.
Before they were attacked for no reason except that they were with
Allah Quran Allah, they were Muslims. So may Allah Subhana Allah Grant them eternal peace and genital to dos. And may Allah let this boy recover. And may Allah subhanaw taala allow him to get well and provide for him, family members and loved ones who can who can provide care and guidance for him and help him right. So imagine losing your entire family promises equates losing answer in gemera to losing your family.
So Allah subhanaw taala this is one Quranic tip, the other Quranic tip real quick, and I will conclude with this.
Forgive me for taking so long
is
one of the better hablan I mean, as well you know, with react in a Kurata you have to pray. We have to pray for one another sisters, you have to pray for your family, for your husbands, and you have to pray for your children. Brothers, you have to pray for Your Wives pray for them. Sometimes some some of us the only time we pray is when we're praying against the other person when we're cursing when I add the biller it Takala and then a person wonders why they're miserable.
Do ya Allah subhanaw taala says the leaders Linwood Sakina Imam Paul
To have your DUA is not gonna have land I mean as well as you know with the reaction
make them a source of comfort, satisfaction and contentment to our eyes.
Let let us be let let us be pleased when we see them. And every time I urge you my dear brothers and sisters, every time you get together where you're with your family member, you see your, your, your your spouse, you see your children, you come together on a meal, you go together, always, always praise Allah and thank him. Always Thanks Al Hamdulillah and ask Allah to protect your family and to protect your unity and your love. May Allah subhanaw taala preserve and protect him bless our households may Allah subhanaw taala protect and preserve our children. May Allah subhanho wa Taala protect and bless our marriages. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant our brothers and sisters who are
suffering any sickness or any ailment, grant them full and speedy recovery may Allah Subhana Allah have mercy upon those who were deceased. This during this week of our brothers and sisters and our loved ones are Bella attina milennium Cara hematoma Hayden and Emily and Alicia Robin Allah to the data that we have learned. In the Kanto hub regard Allah in the law he said when he tell you that
when Harley fascia you will not carry on belly, you ever come to Allah come to the Quran, Quran Allah has
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Muhammad
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Salam Wani kumara long, said Mr. Arun Kumar much more