Can I Force My Daughter Into Marriage? #40 For Her
Channel: Abdul Wahab Saleem
Episode Transcript ©
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Prophet SAW said when he said that a woman who has been married before, she should be given the decision. When she is being married off latin capital, he Mohatta to stammer until she is questioned or she's asked, and she's given her choice whether you want to get married to this man or not, okay? However, the prophet SAW Selim said why Latin kettleby crew had to stop and ask for a woman who happens to be a virgin, she shouldn't be married x, except until she's, he's just asked. So the first one, she's given the choice.
Okay, so basically, if the father wants to marry her off to someone else, she can veto that and say, You know what, I don't want this man. Because she knows how men are she has been in a relationship before she knows what our relationship entails, etc. So the profits that Selim gave her the veto power, that you know what you can decide on your own. And
for the second one, the prophets, I said limb said, for the Virgin, the Prophet says that she should still be asked for permission, at least. Okay. Now, many people, they end up looking at this Hadith, and they understand the opposite of what the Prophet is saying. So they say that in the case of the
Virgin, the prophet SAW, Selim actually said that she should be married, and she should her own, your permission should be sought, meaning it's not necessary, she doesn't have a veto power in this particular case. Now, I
say that in terms of legalities, this may be true, technically speaking. But if you take the words of the prophet to sell them, that's not what he's trying to encourage here. Okay. The problem with us a lot of people is that, we end up seeing what the books have fixed, say, without remembering that books are fit happened to be books of law. And we often in our interactions with one another, we resort to books of law, when we disagree. When there's a disagreement. in normal circumstances, we don't pull out the books of law and say, Look, it's hard for me to do this. Look, it's technically okay for me to force you into marriage, a man says to his daughter for free, for
instance, why? Because this might have said or that might have said, etc. That's not the type of thing that these people who are codifying Islamic law are even thinking. Because the books of Islamic law were not accessible for through Google searches in the past, they were given to judges, literally, the books of Islamic law, they were primarily used for what they were used by judges. And that's why in every country where the judicial system would be based on one method, the books of that, but that would be readily available, and that people would primarily study that method as well. Because with through this method, they would become lawyers and judges, do you understand? So
you don't bring the letter of the law, when we're dealing with practical real life situations. This is very, very important because many parents end up forcing their daughters into marriage, just saying that, technically, based on the letter of the law, I'm allowed to do this. And then the Myskina she goes through a lot of trouble within her life. She didn't she hates her father and hates her husband and hates everyone involved, because she was forced into, into marriage. Right.
So we say that, leave the technicalities aside, look at what the Prophet is saying. He's saying that
a woman who has been in a relationship before she's it a year or a year, she is given the authority completely IE she has the veto power if her father wants to get married to someone else, asked for a woman who has not been in that relationship. She's a virgin, then she should still be asked for permission. Now, they asked how do we know she's giving the permission Oh, Prophet of Allah. The prophet SAW, Selim said and this good that she is silent. Now imagine what the Prophet would say, if she's screaming out loud saying I don't want this bad.
Do you understand what I'm trying to say? But people they take the letter of the law and they say, you know what, technically I'm right. The Sharia is on my side that even if it is on your side,
technicalities are not used in real life always. Okay. This is very, very important. to note. technicalities just means, okay, this contract was valid.
Does doesn't mean it was the best thing to do. Doesn't mean it was the most ethical thing to do doesn't mean there was the the best interest for your daughter, as well. That's why what I encourage is that if you have a daughter, then give them an opportunity to decide they're going to be living the life. You know, many parents they're like, you know, we also have to make sure the parents are right. Why because how are we going to have
your you're not going to have a very long relation.
In Japan, he was with the parents, the daughter is going to be all the time with that husband and the husband will be all most of the time with that wife as well. So let them decide on their own. Even if you have a poor relationship with the parent in laws, it doesn't really matter.
What matters is that the husband and the wife, they have a good relationship with each other. That's what matters. You don't have to play footsies with the parent and loss, okay, you don't have to be buddy buddies with them. It doesn't have many times you think that they're going to be great people, but later on, you get into a fight as well. So how do you know? So that's why let them decide. Let them come to an agreement if that family if that individual is in the best interest of the daughter, and that girl happens to be in the best interest of that man, then Miss Mila right