Repair The Relationship

Mohammad Elshinawy

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Channel: Mohammad Elshinawy

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My brothers and sisters, no Muslim should ever adapt. That's the greatest community and greatest society, the greatest generation

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that humanity ever saw was the generation that was developed firsthand, by the greatest teacher sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, nobody could match him, even in his ability to produce generations. And so the Sahaba may Allah be pleased with them, we're not perfect. And that is part of what makes them perfect examples for us because we too, are not perfect. So they were not infallible. They were not sinless. They were human beings, imperfect human beings, but also pure, that it made them the perfect ideal for us, all US imperfect human beings. And I want to not highlight an imperfection, but just stop at the moment that is very clear in in showcasing the humaneness of some of the

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greatest Sahaba and that they too at times will be out of their element, and how quickly they return from it and make up for it.

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So after that are the hola Juan is inside the body and elsewhere. He says one day we're sitting with the Prophet alayhi salatu salam, and the greatest of us write a book and he says I will go to severe runs in lifting his clothes, you know, when you're really in a rush and wearing something like a wide filled or otherwise. He says his knees were showing him how high he was lifting it how much he was in a rush to get to the Prophet alayhi salatu salam. And when the Prophet saw him, he said I'm also a Hebrew conflict. Adama this man is your friend has must have gotten into something this looks serious.

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And so I will work with stops in front of the Prophet alayhi salatu salam flustered and he says to him, as soon Allah, me and Omar, we got into discussion, and I lost my temper. I said something I should have said,

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I observe Omar

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and even in that is of the virtual book that he notices I will work with the best of them, he notices that he upsets her mother.

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And always we should always remember that being sensitive to what upsets people doesn't necessarily mean that you were wrong. It just means you respect and value their feelings that's all you know, and profit that is subtle set on himself said in another Hadith to his wife, Aisha Radi Allahu Allah, I know when you're pleased with me. And I know when you're upset at me, without you admitting it, you just swear by the Lord of Muhammad, when you're happy with me. When you want this way, you say I swear by the Lord of Muhammad.

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And when you're upset at me, you just say I swear by the law of Abraham. He's telling you, I notice. And that is why she loved him so much. And that's why she even responded quickly in that hadith and said, Yes, but I only give up using your name. I never give up on you. I never stopped loving you your urine here. I just switched the terms. That's it. To express my frustration, it's normal. But he was sensitive to that and above what you're being his greatest student was sensitive to the fact that he must stop. And he he pushed him on his buckets. And so it says so I said,

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and then I will continue. And then I realized that I messed up. So I went to his house to ask Him to forgive me.

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And I knocked on his door and he opened up forever ally and he refused to accept my apology.

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Maybe he even said and he shut the door in my face.

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You know, Omar are the Allahu Allah. And when he did that, by the way, he felt bad like moments after he did that. He said, You know, maybe I'm being a little bit too much basically, because the narrator says or Omar showed up eventually in this hadith, but first or we found out later he went to Abu Bakr his house to say, okay, okay, accept your apology. He went to Abu Bakr his house, and he asked them what's it okay said he's not here. And so Omar knew right away, he realized right away, that if Omar Abu Bakar is not home, and there's only one other place on earth, he could be with the Prophet alayhi salatu salam, those are the only two places of work that goes above the Allah Han.

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And so

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Omar at the moment, even though a few minutes later, he was ready to go accept the apology from Abu Bakar. At the moment, he wasn't ready. And that's also something very human in very normal. And we should really learn that from the Sahaba and from elsewhere. Sometimes people need more time. You know, it is it takes a word to Derringer.

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lationship it doesn't just take a word to fix it. Destroying is easy building his heart. So you just got to give people time to figure out your excuse or to figure out you're being genuine you you were not excused. But now you're regretful, they just got to figure it out. Even the scholars, you know, they said in story of UCLA, Salem, you know, they did a lot of damage to more than just relationships.

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Decades later, they say to their father, after the truth comes out, and they've been hiding these lies forever about what they did to their brother. They say to our forgive us, ask Allah to forgive us. The scholars said, Why did you have to lie to his salaam say, Sir, I still feel like I'm Robbie. I will meaning in future at some point. I will ask Allah to forgive you. They said maybe I hope I did. He said I wasn't ready to forgive them. Maybe he wanted to wait a little to make sure that we're actually being genuine. Right? Some people just need some time. People are not Allah azza wa jal can't see through or they can't see our hearts. They can't know that this time was actually the

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last time or that this time you actually regretted it. It's normal. You know, in even i Li Allah on the great companion of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

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It took him six months to forgive, it will work it for another occasion. You know, when the Prophet alayhi salatu salam died, Abu book and a few of the Sahaba from Mecca, went to the Sahaba from Medina and said, make sure you only pick a leader from Mecca, and it was about to come a civil war. And so I will work your way into that. And this is that famous incident that some of those who hate the sahaba. And hate doesn't know try to misuse but it's an actual incident, that they were in such a rush to make sure the stability of the OMA remained that it was sort of a spontaneous spur of the moment that will Buckley's the Khalifa. It happened like that. And even at the time, the prophet

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cousin will not at the gathering, because he was busy washing and burying the Prophet alayhi salatu salam and he got very upset he didn't want to be the leader but you could have at least asked me I'm his cousin I'm his family member you could so it took him a while right he never acted it out never caused the you know the community to be you know jeopardized or any but it takes people time to figure it out. Oh, I I misread that. Oh, you just had a bad day. Oh, I do the same thing sometimes give people time. So I'm gonna need a little bit more time.

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But Elba couldn't wait.

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Abu Bakr when Omar closed the door in his face. Abu Bakr then ran to the Prophet alayhi salatu was set on lifted he was he wasn't he was worked very worried because he wanted resolution.

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And we all need to want resolution in our relationships in your family, with your friends with your fellow brothers and sisters. You have you know a lot of times I apologize his problem now have a nice life. I did my job said I'm sorry. What more do you want? Right? We say this all the time, right? Abu Bakr is not like this, the Sahaba not like this. They had superior brotherhood. They had superior manners. Omar didn't want to accept my apology. I'm gonna go get help from the Prophet SAW Salem to press him into accepting my apology.

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Someone doesn't accept your apology, go find someone they like to step in, in the middle. That's one of the very few situations. The three instances the Prophet alayhi salatu salam said to us, lying could even be allowed, when it's the way to rectify our relation because of how beloved that is to Allah resolving.

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And Allah told us that if you seek His mercy you will seek to resolve seek to mend relationships in Muna Aqua. For us little Boehner awakened the believers are a single brotherhood, so rectify those relationships, repair them, they're repairable, you just got to put in work, repair them the relationship between your brothers and fear of loss that you may attain his mercy. It's a pathway to Allah's mercy. I know what the honor, and not just the brotherhood of faith, even in family

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you know, a man once came and complained to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

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and said to him, my family, they're the worst. I keep ties with them, and they keep severing ties with me. And I keep treating them nice and they keep treating me bad.

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And he said, you continue doing that and Allah will continue supporting you so long as you're like that. And he said sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and Hades and Buhari Lacell Wellsley to Bill McAfee were enamel wall so it will lead the Eastern PA to Rahim who was Allah? The person who is well seen who keeps family ties is not the one that reciprocates like tit for tat you keep tight with me. So I keep talking with you. That's not someone who keeps ties. That's just normal human

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being

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He's saying the one in Allah's eyes who upholds ties the family is the one that when his family breaks ties, he continues reconnecting them. He rekindles the relationships he reconnects over and over and over again. So but was trying to do that, right. He wasn't just gonna give up because someone said no, I'm sorry, not accepting your apology to like he didn't. He didn't settle. And so as he's there, the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam was trying to like, reassure him a little bit, okay, it's a big deal. No, he was saying to him, no federal law hula kava back, remember, forgive you? Oh, look, he knows it couldn't have been that bad. And you know what the status is not outweigh

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all of his deeds. May Allah forgive you, but Allah forgive you. Oh, but he saw how flustered he was. And as he's saying, May Allah forgive you Abu Bakr, who shows up on top, that's when he finally arrives in the serie.

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When Omar arrives.

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The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam his face changes the Maya autowatch Who will outline

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his face, you know the cheerfulness of his face, it's dimmed down. He looked upset, looked angry. And he turned away from Omar, he wouldn't look at our model Allah Han.

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Before Omar could react.

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Abu Bakr is so different the Allah who walks in front of the Prophet SAW Salem and buckles to his knees to show humility. And he kept saying, and the two of them I mean, who I was the bigger wrongdoer or messenger of Allah, I was me. I started I was the bigger wrongdoer because he saw in trouble. And he didn't want anything bad to happen to Roma and the moment of anger from the Prophet Allah, he's Satoshi to make her I had against them or something. And the one who starts it is usually the greater oppressor he sparked. So he fell on his knees a gentle sort of law, please, please, I started it. I messed up more. I am the bigger wrongdoer. I am the bigger wrongdoer.

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And then the Prophet sallallahu alayhi. wasallam turned to all of them. And he says Emma Entune Terry Cooley, Sahibi. What is with you people? Will you not leave my companion alone mineral book.

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Keep in mind, these are all his companions, but compared to a MOBA, will work as the companion

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relatively speaking, he is the companion of him. He's his closest,

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you know, the Prophet alayhi salatu. Salam even said in one Hadith, that if I were to take a best friend, a colleague from this world, I would have chosen a book with your companion is the Helene of Allah.

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There's no room for that, in Me, for anyone of this world. That's how much he meant to him.

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And he used to say every single person, I am hopeful that I have repaid them for their favors to me, except the family of a book.

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Different work. So he said, Don't you leave a work? Stop. So what? Leave alone? He's human. Right, except his humaneness. Don't allow it to eclipse his virtue in your eyes. He said Emma and Tom Petty co leads or hibi. Won't you leave my companion alone already?

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I came to you with the truth. He said in the same Hadith. And you all said I was a liar. And he said Sadhak he was the only one that did hesitate. Well, I said I need Yeah, he went early. And he consoled me and he supported me with his own family. And with his own resource, his own wealth, leave him alone. I would doubt that on the other hand, the narrator of this whole incident, the whole circle around, said nobody bothered every book after that day.

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But this is not just about the virtue of Abu Bakr in disputes in general.

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If a person were to slip,

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even if repeatedly, even if they have a weakness, but they are a person of virtue, and on some level, every believer is a person of virtue. At every relative, even if you're not a believer, they have the virtue that Allah will ask you about your relative that sort of a rank Allah gave them some ranks or earned like your faith. You put in effort to be a believer, and some banks are just there. This is your mom whether you like it or not, right? This is your cousin whether you like it or not.

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And so to remember the virtue of a person, even if you don't like them, even if there has been fishing

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a cold call the harder stuff for Allah.

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Al hamdu Lillahi wa salatu salam ala Milena V shadow

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La ilaha illa bajo la sharika or shadow anna Muhammad Abdul who whenever you are a sudo so in that brief way, you saw how

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humanity happened and from the beauty of the story of our lives and we see it through a little karate Allahu Allah in so many different ways but of these final lessons that we can mess up we can make wrong turns and still arrive at Allah subhanho wa Taala safely right, so long as we regret it so long as we tried to make up for it, you know, he slipped and tried to compensate and then he never forgot the writer Muslim upon a Muslim to defend them. Right? All of that was there.

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And we as Muslims are

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commanded to ask Allah to make us like Abu Bakr and every rock as the scholars say, when you say sir oppa Lavina I'm dolly Oh Allah guide me to the path of those you favorite and um Allahu Allah him the other uncertainties that Allah says you will deal with those who Allah favorite of the prophets and the DX and will work as the Silvia. So when you say and I'm barely human and fatty are the path of those who favor you think first person you think of after that the prophets is the study of this ummah, Abu Bakr, Radi Allahu Han. And you see that Islam gave us the framework to work through these things. Yes, our bonds will be challenged in our families and our communities and otherwise, not

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just can we overcome it. This is how but we can overcome it. We've seen it works, it's effective. So may Allah rectify our relationships? May Allah Subhana Allah Allah keep the warmth growing in our households, and between our families nuclear extended, may Allah azza wa jal continue to bring the heart of the Ummah of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, together all over the world globally. Allahumma Amin