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How to gain your Spouse’s Heart

Mohamad Baajour

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Channel: Mohamad Baajour

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Shall the first time I see the brothers

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are you coming by force?

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That's good. And

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I said I'm only aleikum wa rahmatullah.

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Salam Al hamdu lillah wa salatu salam ala Rasulillah Loma Linda main fauna and finally my alum Tana, was it nine manjar hamara. I mean, I ask Allah subhanaw taala teachers would benefit us benefit us from what you told us and increase us knowledge. So, inshallah Tada hamdulillah Rabbani today they change the issue up to 940. So,

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we could take a little bit of time so, let me start right away inshallah.

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We will be discussing first

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common things for both brothers and sisters. Then I will be beating up on the brothers and then I will be talking to the sisters also gently Inshallah, to Allah, I ask Allah subhanaw taala to put my head down right now and all our homes in chama

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I mean,

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table one.

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First, we have to remember

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that

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marriage is a blessing.

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Whether you agree or not, marriage is a blessing from Allah subhanho wa Taala there are many people who are deprived from the SNAM and Allah subhanaw taala called it an area where I mean, tea and

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mean for cecum as well

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as well urgently to school Oh, in a vagina never you in

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Dayton Ragna in Nephi, the early

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teen economy a terrific room, Allah subhanaw taala said that this marriage is an area Allah subhanaw taala created from yourselves your mate and Allah subhanho wa Taala put between the husband and the wife, love and mercy and compassion and tranquillity. Allah put it there. So yeah, if your house does not have it, that means you have done something to get rid of it. Because Allah says I put there when you get married, which I obey in my word, the 10 Marana Allah put love and mercy between you. So the more than Rama is not there, then we will get to see now we might have done something to eliminate the Mohammed Gan Rama that Allah said, it's there.

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How come this is an area? How come this is a sign Subhanallah hierarchy. You bring someone from the east and someone from the west and you put them under one roof and all of a sudden she become the most beloved to his heart and he become the most beloved to her heart. Subhanallah This is an iron this is a sign.

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He will he will he is ready to defend that with his life. As a matter of fact, men matter Dona Khalifa Shaheed if he dies defending her he's a Shaheed Allahu Akbar. So the relationship Allah Subhana Allah Allah told us that this is an A it's a sign from Allah subhanho wa taala. And but Allah here when we are behind in thanking Allah subhanaw taala about Islam, Allah Allah fildena Duxiana official cricketer Blimey, may Allah forgive our shortcomings in thanking him the way he's supposed to be thanked? Yeah when the wife needs a husband and the husband needs a wife. This is the way that Allah subhanaw taala made it in order to complete one another.

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But unfortunately, after a very short period of time,

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the complaints start pouring in. He is so boring.

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Our life is becoming routine.

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On TV.

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In the same way we had when we first get married, no emotions Subhanallah we live with each other as complete strangers what happened? The acid is finished and the bustle started. Now, all the honey is gone and the onion starts

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Subhanallah so must have something must have happened

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today in sha Allah, Allah Allah one, as you know me by now, I don't say anything from my head. God Allah, Allah, Allah Rasool. So I'm going to give you tips from the Quran and the Sunnah.

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God Allah Who cholera soon to fix our marriages or if everything is great in sha Allah to make it even better.

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Alumna Elif Binaca login Arabella Alameen

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so if you come with the intention that you really want to bring peace, love to your home with Allah if you're sincere, and you'll follow these steps because they are from the Kitab and Sunnah in sha Allah to Allah your home will be full with Nevada and Rama first.

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The reason may be that

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we are having a lot

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of love and mercy at home

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is maybe our sins

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Lanesville Bella

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Ellerbee Marcia, whether you will fall in love with Toba

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no Billa comes down except for the sin and it will not be elevated except to the Toba. So the first thing Yeah, one Toba

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repent to Allah again, I'm gonna keep repeating. If you are sincere, these steps the order is extremely important, especially in the beginning. Tell them you must have maybe you're dealing with Reba. Maybe you are

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selling haram buying haram. Maybe you are missing Salawat you haven't prayed Vishnu in two weeks. Maybe my sister, you're not wearing the hijab or your job is not appropriate. There must be something that you're doing. It could be one of the sins that you are doing that caused that mawatha and drama to disappear from the house. Very possible.

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So I have to

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show check my relationship with Allah subhanho wa Taala

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what is the delille everything we haven't read from the Quran? What is the Delhi

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man ah Radha and decree in Houma, Isha Tim Duncan.

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Holmes whosoever stay away from my remembrance, and he'll decree means Salat, and all kinds of more omelette, whomsoever, stay away from my vicar. He has a miserable life. So if you are neglecting the Salawat if you are neglecting in general the orders of Allah subhanaw taala. Allah said, The Nana who will marry Schatten Donkor he will have a miserable life.

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So the first thing we have to do is to repent to Allah subhanho wa taala. Check.

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Review your day. Maybe you're backbiting people, maybe you're spreading rumors in the community, maybe you're doing something that Allah subhanaw taala caused that Muhammad and Rama to begun, what are the steps of the Tober first, you stop the sin.

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Second, you regret every moment you did it. And third, you make a promise to Allah subhana wa Tada that you will never go back. These are the steps of tilbyr.

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Second

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Allah subhanho wa taala, my beloved brothers and sisters, Allah promised Allah promised a happy life in the Quran.

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For someone who do two things, that

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men emila saw a

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record in

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Wahoo I mean, fairly I know he and

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Tony either. Allah said whosoever does righteous deeds male or female, and he or she are believers, I Allah guarantee him guarantee her a happy life. So what are the two conditions Eman and Amazon?

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I do righteous deeds and I am true believer. So if the formula said Amen plus Sam and solid equal happy life I have here after the equal miserable life that means I have something wrong here with this formula. Either my Eman is weak or my Amazon is not complete. It's not good enough. So I have to do

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Get the Eman How strong is my Eman and they have to check. How's my Annette Assadi ha how's your optional a Baghdad? How's your fasting the optional fast how's your Pm how's your soda caught? How's your barrel validating?

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So, this point means if I want a happy life, I have to increase from the Anala Salia.

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To Rica in the middle of the night of pm begging Allah subhanaw taala to bring peace into my house

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all our life Jaquan all our life has to be dedicated to Allah subhanho wa Taala

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Allah subhanaw taala

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told us, which brings me to the third point.

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There has to be sincerity even in our marriage.

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What does that mean? You know, when we first get married? Most of us if not all of us. And please if someone is getting married soon please please don't forget this point.

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We all know that the annual or BI intentions so if I made the intention from the moment I get married, that I'm getting married to protect myself from falling into haram and protect my sister from falling into haram, all my marriages like that. None of us did that. Or most of us did not do that. When we first got married. We did not make an intention that this marriage is there a bad I'm doing it to stay away from sinning. I'm doing it to complete my Deen

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I'm doing I'm doing it to protect another person from falling into haram. Then on my marriage can you imagine every moment in my marriage will become a burden will become an act of worship. Allah subhana wa Tada said come in solidarity we're no Sookie Wilma here woman at Lillahi Rabbil Alameen

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all my life my salah, my sacrifice, my life, my death all is for Allah subhanaw taala and that includes my marriage is also for Allah subhanho wa Taala so when I do that, everything that I do that the raising of the children becomes a bad you're ironing my sister would become a bad brother, you're you're going to the supermarket to get food for the family will become a bad you can still refresh our intention. Update, upgrade our intention to make it that you're Allah I'm doing this

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sincerely for your sake.

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Now somebody has saying brother, you promised us some practical things. These are all you know.

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A man of the club. But Allah my brothers and sisters, these are these three points are the main points Toba from any sin.

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Viral facade or Phil burry will be Marchesa, that ad NUS facade corruption is happening on earth and in the sea because of what the people have committed.

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Second, do a lot of righteous deeds.

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Put on your schedule that there's a sub account on a daily basis. There is a pm on a weekly basis. There is a fasting on a weekly basis.

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Salia

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keep in mind that our time here is very limited. The Janessa we prayed on Friday she was 29 year old sister 29 She left Syria coming here for a better life. She died here

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29 years old. So as many animals slowly as possible I have to rush Sergio Sadie, third sincerity. Now we come to the actual tips. Open your ears,

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get your notes ready and shamatha Allah

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we're gonna give some practical tips that will bring inshallah love and peace to our homes.

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First, l Kelly Mata Heba

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a good word.

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Connie kind loving words.

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Before I continue, keep in mind that my office is no day that passes by so all this is from your complaints.

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All these tips are because of the sisters or the brothers who came to my office and told me my husband, my wife, this and that. So all these are real things that are taking place. We're not just talking in the air.

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Al calamata EBA a good word. The last sister who came to me she said, my husband did not tell me I love you in five years.

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Five years he did not say I love you to his wife.

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Why I'm the man how can I say I love you? I'm the man

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So Charlotte Allah the first

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the first I want to call it the homework, the first thing you should do right now, everybody inshallah Tada take your phones. Take your phones out. Go to text message.

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See my beloved wife and right Alicia I'm waiting I'm not gonna continue sisters just let me know if they texted or not

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take your phones out

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the man said you

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fix your life I love you. If you don't know how to spell it, let me know inshallah

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you can either you're single, or you don't have a phone and I don't think you don't have a phone. either. You're single.

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So yeah, final Kalamata Eva Sadaqah. A good word is a form of charity. So my brother, give charity to your sister, my sister. give charity to your brother. Give him a South Africa. As soon as I said and said listen to this beautiful Hadith in the field. Diane De La Salle

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Lau it in filled Dyani let's say sometimes in your speech that is halal magic.

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Magic said this hadith

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my brother.

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Sisters love kind words more than gifts.

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They love kind words.

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I love you I miss you.

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Text her from work. I can't wait to come home and see you my sister. When your husband is at work or when he's leaving to the to his job. May Allah bless you may Allah protect you Allah He my sisters, they make a huge difference. A hug, kiss. Just say do something that make him feel that you know, he has something very special at home. Very kind simple words. They are free. They don't cost nothing. They're free.

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I'll kill him Akiva. And Kalamata Eva sadaqa. So

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sometimes sisters, I'm going to

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talk to you now. Sometimes the sister because the brothers told me please don't be always on acini sometimes the sister is on her phone, talking to her sister.

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Sarah Monaco. Very nice. Hi, how are you? How's everything? And then she looks at we'll call awaiting her husband. Yes.

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What happened? You will just now being kind and nice and loving and caring. All of a sudden. Yes. What do you want? Now?

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No, he is the most deserving of your kind, loving words.

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He is. This is your husband, the father of your your children. My brother same thing

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Subhanallah that he when those soldiers have said and tell us that you are giving your wife a sadhaka when you say a nice kind word.

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Praise the way she looks yucky. Praise that her hairdo.

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Tell her that her food is amazing.

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Even if I'm lying, even if you're lying.

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This is a license from Rasulillah salam to lie in that situation.

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You're eating her food. And you're about to throw up but at the same time you're telling her Allahu Akbar. I can't I want to lick my fingers but you actually want to bite your

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tongue. This is allowed.

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There are three situations you're allowed to lie

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when you are praising your wife to bring love not lying to your wife about I was here and you or something else. Please. No, that's not the line we're talking about. We're talking about lying to bring love and mercy between each other lying in the war and lying to bring peace between two people. These are allowed permitted lying, okay, and moderation. So, similarly my sister mashallah you look built, you're looking good. You're looking nice. Even though he gained like three to 200 pounds or something.

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kind words you know Subhanallah is allowed and permitted between the husband and and the wife.

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From the good word from the Kalama table. My sister is hosting stick dial

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the way you welcome him when he comes home

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that

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Welcoming will determine the destiny of the night.

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If you were happy and smiling and you put your best clothing for him, you fixed yourself and you welcome him with Kindreds Hamdulillah that Allah brought you back safe to me 100 Allah for Allah subhanaw taala making you the the source of our risk, something kind words, the ceremony come honey 100 Welcome home, any kind of words and dress up nice and welcome your husband when he comes home

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not when he first come in your father, your mother did this. You're this guy called this, that your kids are driving me crazy. No, we just walked in, give them a break.

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And you my brother when you walk into the house Bismillah Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah.

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If you forget, trust me. Go back outside.

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Because you're going to see something you don't like, if you don't see it. Go back and say Bismillah Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah and enter the house. This is a pseudonym for sort of masala Islam. So my sister please. Even though we're taking a nice, easy form and funny, but Allah these are all true. And if he leaves you with your with your sleeping clothes and he comes back, you're still with your same clothes. And your hair looks like this. And you alternate one day you smell like garlic one day smell like onion. Any how he's going to be Subhanallah put some nice Utricularia perfume for your husband and welcome him. Let him look forward to come home. Keep in mind my sister. He is

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mixing in at work. When he goes to work. There is Christina and Melissa and they're all half naked over there. So he wants to know when he comes home. He has a million dollar at home he can't wait to come home for his for his jewel. So you have to provide that you know, I'm the queen here.

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Don't look at anybody else. You do not even give him the chance to look at anybody else because you are treating him like a king. And similarly my brother, like I said before, praise the way she looks praise the way she dresses praise her food.

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Praise the way she is raising her children. And make sure my sister always keep your children clean and nice because they represent you. When I look at my children, I know if you're clean or not.

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To the sumo coffee wedge here he can sadhaka when you smile my sister and

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when your husband comes back Subhanallah that by itself is a form of sadaqa.

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From the Kenema tell you about my brother, praise your wife in front of her family.

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Her parents are visiting

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Ma sha Allah yummy. My uncle, masha Allah, you gave me the best gift ever. What kind of upbringing is this Masha Allah, this is the best thing that ever happened to me. Allah He that night is going to be different night.

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prays in front of her family showed them that they have did a great job raising her.

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Yeah, one this is all from the Sunnah spear Sula, say Salem's home was full of fun and and kindness and love. He never hit anybody. He never harmed anybody. They used to joke around next to him. The house was full of laughter

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and love and caring. This is level for Salah, the house of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

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in one sister came to me and said

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she said he sits and he watches TV in front of me looking at Yahoo and there are some brothers I don't know.

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Every time a woman comes on the TV, whether she's many

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anchor or whatever commercial, he says, Look, you see, this is how the woman looked like not like you.

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A sister told me that.

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Allah so he's looking at the TV and comparing the people on TV which 99% Fake to his, his wife. Don't do that.

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This is not right at all.

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So the Kalamata Yeva

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Subhanallah look at the house of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

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one time I should have the Allahu anha

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it was so does night

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or the Aloha Anna so she brought some food

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and she thought so that eat

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so there was

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subsections and tonight is my night while you're bringing food

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so I said I'm not going to eat

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so sir, I surely ALLAH Hannah with her two hands, she put her hand in the fruit and she starts smearing sodas face.

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Who said sitting there

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sort of lawful Allah and even some

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sort of solace I sell them started laughing. He held both hands of Asia and he thought they soda Go ahead, do the same to her.

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And they all started laughing

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Subhan Allah

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this is the house of Allah Islam,

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the best man ever created.

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So why pick and choose from his sunnah?

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When he was asked in front of the Sahaba, the real men

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who do you love the most? Would you dare now tell me I love my wife. You get so scared you I'm shy. Rasulillah Salam in front of Abu Bakr Almaraz man in the way Booyah, Aisha

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I love that Aisha.

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We are scared to mention our wives names.

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Somehow

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we all know that if when they came back from a battle, and he told the army to cut them.

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He told the army to move forward and then he thought I showed you like to race and that was in the beginning of the marriage. So they raised an issue one and she was narrating the Hadith. She said few years later, he told the army move forward. And she said I put some land so I got a little bit heavier now. And this was Hassan said total would you like to race? So they raised it and the sun was excellent one heavy be that this one is for that? This is the humor that they have between each other yeah one as soon as I sent him on jabber but the Allah on came through suicide Salem and he told him this was a Salem saw him he's rushing to go back home after the battle. So what happened?

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He said yes. Hola in the I'm know, I'm a newlywed. So did you marry

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or bicker? Did you marry

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a virgin or a woman that was married before? He said yes. So Allah, my father died and he left me nine sisters. So I Married an older woman thought she could help me raise them. But the dress was excellent. Tell him

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he said

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you could have married a baker today. Whoo ha Tula. heybrook Allahu Akbar.

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This is a Salah Salem talking.

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He said you could have married a young woman. You could play with her and she plays with you.

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When I showed you Allah and I used to drink the water, look at the romantic Rasul Allah Islam. He used to take the cup and put his lips exactly where she put her lips. Can you imagine how she felt?

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What is the last time you actually you took a piece of food and you put it in your wife's mouth.

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If this ever happened, button her face in her mouth

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it's a similar one. And if I say something another some little brother basil when you get that from we all know that Russell's hassling us to do this transition.

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And we are here to gain our wives heart or regain our wives heart or our husbands are.

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Similarly my sister do the same. Every once in a while feed your husband might take a half an hour feeding.

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But in sha Allah Tada show the gesture in sha Allah, so

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Tober righteous deeds as laws and the Kalamata evil. Now we come to my sister

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Rasul allah sallallahu sallam. He said

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he gave you a great offer my sister either solid Arkansas was sama Chara, what have you that Ferhadija? Well, I thought Xhosa definitely a Birdman adorable Jana Allahu Akbar. My sister if you pray your five daily prayers and you fest the month of Ramadan and you protect your chastity and you obey your husband. You choose any door of gender you would like to enter from

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the obedience of the husband my sister is a that

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it is either in Huck.

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Subhan Allah

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and my her my dear brother, Allah He.

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If you want that from your sisters, that obedience, Allah you could get it very easily. By the way you treat her helpless son in the lesson when she sees that you are really taking care of her and everything that she needs is provided for her because this is your job.

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It is not enough. When you provide and you pay the rent and you pay for the food and you pay for the rent, housing, food.

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Clothing. These are

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optional. Are must. Must and the husband high enough aka this. You cannot tell your wife I'm paying the bills Habibi, you have no choice.

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I'm talking about the main bills to provide shelter and food and clothing. This is this is her right? If you're doing all your rights as a husband, you're doing what we did what we mentioned in the past. Naturally, the system will

00:30:39--> 00:30:41

obey you and listen to you the lesson

00:30:46--> 00:30:47

don't

00:30:49--> 00:30:56

sister when we say obeying, that does not mean you're obeying while you're frowning and yelling and no with a smiley face and

00:30:59--> 00:31:12

expecting Azure from Allah subhanahu wata Island. If you treat him good and he hands you. You are closer to Jana, and you treat him bad and he degrades you. You are close to him.

00:31:14--> 00:31:20

So here's your Jana and here's your help. Let's go back to my brother.

00:31:21--> 00:31:23

Very, very important.

00:31:24--> 00:31:27

Don't be stingy

00:31:29--> 00:31:32

Bogle. stinginess is a disease

00:31:33--> 00:31:34

is a disease.

00:31:35--> 00:31:48

If you ever have a chance, and someone approached you approached you to marry your daughter or your sister, and he is half as of the Quran, half as a Bukhari and Muslim everything and he's back he'll tell him outside.

00:31:49--> 00:31:50

Get out.

00:31:52--> 00:32:03

Was it the real was was I Salam said born and Eman do not meet in the same heart? No way. How can we be real more men and he memorized the whole Quran and

00:32:05--> 00:32:05

he's buggin.

00:32:07--> 00:32:09

Something is wrong with the formula.

00:32:10--> 00:32:20

Or someone say Selim said money spent feasable Illa. money spent for Pokhara and money spent on your family, the best money is the money spent on your family.

00:32:22--> 00:32:23

stinginess

00:32:25--> 00:32:27

will definitely create problems at home.

00:32:28--> 00:32:34

I mentioned to the brother before he leaves the house, he put the bottle of olive oil

00:32:35--> 00:32:36

and he brings the measuring tape.

00:32:38--> 00:32:43

Seven inches if he comes back home and it was six inches Allah Who a cover

00:32:45--> 00:32:47

what happened to the inch?

00:32:49--> 00:32:55

Can you imagine? Until they told you in the beginning These are stories of men, women and men coming to me and telling me

00:32:56--> 00:32:58

would you give this guy to your daughter?

00:33:00--> 00:33:00

No.

00:33:03--> 00:33:14

Book is is is a disease. So be extremely generous with your wife and your family. You will bring love and harmony to your home.

00:33:17--> 00:33:18

My sister

00:33:20--> 00:33:22

do not overburden your

00:33:23--> 00:33:25

husband with things he cannot afford.

00:33:28--> 00:33:45

My sister got a 4000 square feet Why do we have 2000 square feet to my wife that's all I can afford. I don't care. Go alone no loan Reba. Reba, we have to have the same house. My daughter had marriage in high art why our wedding is in the masjid.

00:33:46--> 00:33:52

Don't do that my sister. If he cannot afford it, please don't put him in a position to do haram just to please you.

00:33:55--> 00:33:58

Don't put him in a position to do haram just to please you.

00:34:01--> 00:34:10

Remember my sister that we are in this dunya for a very short time. And what Allah subhanho wa Taala have for us in the akhira is Chiron will aapke

00:34:13--> 00:34:16

my brother, there's something called a stepdad.

00:34:20--> 00:34:24

There are some men who treat the wife as a maid as a slave.

00:34:29--> 00:34:34

They treat the wife as a slave. You are no one.

00:34:35--> 00:34:42

Your family is nobody. He keeps putting down her family. Do you know what village you came from?

00:34:44--> 00:34:47

If I did not marry you, nobody would have married you.

00:34:48--> 00:34:50

There are brothers who talk like this

00:34:51--> 00:34:53

to their sisters to their wives.

00:34:56--> 00:34:59

And she was with him from the beginning when he has not

00:35:00--> 00:35:08

thing and now he Masha Allah has some money now he's talking to her like this. He forgot how she was extremely patient when he was starting.

00:35:10--> 00:35:16

Don't do that my brother. This is never, ever will bring any kind of peace to the house

00:35:21--> 00:35:28

so long as I said and said Cairo calm, highly recommend the best of you is the best to his wife

00:35:32--> 00:35:38

communication, one of the biggest problems, no communication whatsoever.

00:35:40--> 00:35:42

He comes home.

00:35:43--> 00:35:53

He sits on the TV, he eats, he sits on the TV, he goes to sleep, wake up in the morning go to work. No, there are just roommates.

00:35:54--> 00:35:55

This is very, very common.

00:35:57--> 00:35:57

Jaquan

00:35:58--> 00:36:01

Your Beloved Prophet alayhi salatu salam,

00:36:03--> 00:36:19

you want to tell me, all of us combined, we will not be as busy as a sort of La sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. He was establishing Islam not conveying Islam, going from one place to another, establishing the deen establishing he used he's the only Mufti.

00:36:20--> 00:36:24

He's the only chef. He's the only Imam, the only

00:36:26--> 00:36:30

and he came home and actually wants to tell him the story of Abu Zara and Zahra

00:36:33--> 00:37:01

is fourth ages. And he sat down and he sat down and he listened. And she kept on telling him this has been married this life and this and she kept on telling him all this long story. So my brother, dedicate half an hour, 45 minutes, whatever you can, every day, sit down with your wife before you sleep when you wake up in the morning anytime that's convenient for you. But don't let the day that go by without you're sitting down and talking to each other.

00:37:03--> 00:37:07

And telling her about your day and she's telling you about how she feels.

00:37:10--> 00:37:14

And my brother, one of the biggest, biggest problems

00:37:16--> 00:37:17

the second life

00:37:19--> 00:37:20

the phone

00:37:22--> 00:37:26

Have you ever heard the phubbing you know what farming means?

00:37:27--> 00:37:28

Farming

00:37:30--> 00:37:34

is a new term that came out in 2016.

00:37:36--> 00:37:48

It is phone and snubbing at the same time. It became a new word in the dictionary called phubbing. Phone and snubbing slugging means ignoring the people sitting next to you.

00:37:50--> 00:37:54

Now following means ignoring the people sitting next to you by you being on the phone.

00:37:57--> 00:38:07

Another extremely common complaint from the sisters and from the brothers. She's always on WhatsApp, one group to another she finished one group she goes to the other group,

00:38:08--> 00:38:11

facebook, twitter, snapchat all this stuff.

00:38:13--> 00:39:00

And he comes home and he holds the phone. And he started texting and texting and texting as if I do not exist. Please, when you come home, take this phone and put it on the side. And unless you're a doctor, there's an emergency and stuff like that. But in general, keep the phone away when you come home. Take all your problems from work and leave them with your shoes at the door. Come inside the smiling face. Have a bottle of of water in your car. And before you go home. You put some nice smelling you know otter and you go inside the house with a smiling face and you put your phone on the side and you tell her now it's your time. Allah when these are not just these are real tips. If

00:39:00--> 00:39:04

you really want to bring back the love and mercy to our homes.

00:39:07--> 00:39:15

You are sitting and talking to a virtual person while the real person that loves you and cares about is right there next to you and you're ignoring them. Both of you.

00:39:19--> 00:39:52

And I mentioned in a short clip that was released a week ago about this posting about everything my sister's every time you travel or look I just came back from Turkey. I just came back from Honolulu. This my husband just bought me this are nice back. I just got it we tall shoe and all that. And they keep posting posting posting posting posting every other minute. And the sister the other sister who's looking at the post. She just had a fight with her her husband and she has no food on the table and she's seeing the sister shrimps caviar lobster

00:39:53--> 00:40:00

align hack the evil eye is real. You're wondering why having problems at home maybe somebody hit you with an evil eye

00:40:00--> 00:40:00

I

00:40:01--> 00:40:03

because of your posting every five minutes,

00:40:05--> 00:40:11

align hacks, Hadith Elian hack. The evil eye is hack, and you keep posting.

00:40:13--> 00:40:17

Be careful you know how many people are watching this and you know what they're going through.

00:40:18--> 00:40:19

You don't know

00:40:27--> 00:40:28

my brother

00:40:33--> 00:40:48

if you do not like a solar cell and said, If there's something you do not like about your wife, as soon as I said and said there must be some hundreds of other things that you like, but the shaytan makes you pick on the thing that you do not like all the time.

00:40:50--> 00:41:15

Or she doesn't know how to cook. But at the same time, she's a very Masha Allah practicing woman. She is very clean. She takes care of your children. But all you care about, she doesn't cook, for example, or she doesn't clean, but her cooking is amazing. And she's always taking care of you. So you pick on one thing, nobody's perfect. You're not perfect. I'm not perfect, and she's not perfect either. So don't look for perfection when it comes to marriage.

00:41:19--> 00:41:24

My sister, if the husband gets angry and start, you know,

00:41:25--> 00:41:43

yelling and screaming, do not do not answer him back. Wait till he come down. Leave the room. Say I was a biller in a shaytaan regime. Do not challenge him and start screaming and try to yell louder than him. This is not you. This is not feminine.

00:41:44--> 00:41:52

Unfortunately, there are sisters, when the brothers is angry. If you're a man, divorce me.

00:41:54--> 00:42:02

Don't ever say that. Don't ever say that. Don't challenge a man in his manhood. Don't tell him if you're a man divorce me ever.

00:42:03--> 00:42:06

Because divorce is not a joke. I seldom said

00:42:08--> 00:42:16

that donation was low when measured. There are three things that joking about them is serious and being serious about the mysterious.

00:42:17--> 00:42:19

There's no joking in divorce.

00:42:21--> 00:42:28

Similarly, there are some brothers. Every other word if you don't do this, I'm going to divorce you. I'm going to divorce you.

00:42:30--> 00:42:33

And sometimes when he's talking to his friends, Allah He is an additional

00:42:34--> 00:42:36

hotter luck. How to

00:42:38--> 00:42:46

Marty, I will divorce my wife if you don't drink coffee. Okay. What does your wife have to do is this? I don't want to drink coffee. I will diversify. You actually give me a scarf.

00:42:47--> 00:43:06

And I want you to know when you're home. Every other word divorce divorce, divorce. No, we can do that. The D word get it out. When are you growing? Subhanallah growing up. My father told us that this is a very bad word. Very bad word. Don't ever say that word. It's the D word. Don't say it. Don't say the D word at home Subhan Allah

00:43:12--> 00:43:14

make your wife feel at peace.

00:43:16--> 00:43:37

Honey, not every other word. She's she's she's living in always in horror, or is he gonna divorce me is he gonna get rid of me is she doesn't know. Allah if you do this, I'm going to do that. No, no make a live at pcf. Make a live at peace. Keep in mind you have a daughter too. And someone one day is going to marry your daughter.

00:43:38--> 00:43:41

Treat your wife the way you want the person to treat your daughter

00:43:46--> 00:43:47

my sister

00:43:49--> 00:43:53

Subhanallah you know what our solar system called you? A treasure.

00:43:54--> 00:44:04

A treasure spamela Colorado salatu salam, Ala. Buro, come behind me, Matt yuck news Oh, yep. Newsom

00:44:06--> 00:44:10

should I tell you what is the best thing that a person can treasure?

00:44:12--> 00:44:16

Is it gold? Is it silver? Is it what is it to Elmer salejaw.

00:44:17--> 00:44:21

A righteous wife is the best gift you could ever get Subhan Allah

00:44:23--> 00:44:24

and

00:44:27--> 00:44:51

what is the definition if I asked you what is the definition of a righteous sister? People start saying she fast she prays she put the hijab. These are all big bad. This is a must. But also as SLM gave us my sister listen carefully. Resource SLM gave us the Scripture description of a righteous wife called either neither Elijah has or what? When he looks at her he's pleased.

00:44:53--> 00:44:59

Were either a mother or her art. And when he commands her, She obeys Him. Were either

00:45:00--> 00:45:14

Ha abandon her Have you ever bought and when he is absent, she guards herself and guards his wealth Subhan Allah. This is a definition of a righteous wife from Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

00:45:17--> 00:45:24

My sister, one of the ways you can go and get your husband's heart is by honoring his guests.

00:45:25--> 00:45:49

When he has guests over, make sure you take care of them. Don't tell him okay, go call crescent moon, get some food from outside. No, no, show him that you really want to take care of his guests and you will be rewarded for a chronic drive. Especially if the guests are family. He likes to show off that my wife is a great cook. She always take care of her. Her guests. He likes that he loves it.

00:45:52--> 00:45:57

If there's a dish my sister that he likes, whatever that dish is, make sure you master it.

00:45:59--> 00:45:59

Nice throw at it.

00:46:02--> 00:46:08

Cook it for him. You know they say the way to his heart is through his stomach. Right?

00:46:09--> 00:46:11

You have to go you're taking the wrong route

00:46:18--> 00:46:48

this is for both in sha Allah don't ever, ever, no matter what happened. Do not ever let out the secrets that happen in the bedroom to anyone. This is a warning from Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam look how the Hadith style in nemen Cherie nurse him and Zillah tun yarmulke Yama amongst the worst people on the day of judgment are the people the man who does something with his wife and he goes tells her friends and or the wife goes does something with her wife with her husband. And she goes tell her friend his rare friends

00:46:50--> 00:46:53

would have whatever happens in their in the bedroom stays there.

00:46:56--> 00:47:01

Another thing on that note, my sister not every other thing you call your mother.

00:47:03--> 00:47:19

Not every problem that takes place between you and him. Immediately, Mama, this is what he did to me. Don't let the parents get involved unless this is something major. Allah He leave the parents alone. They are very,

00:47:20--> 00:47:33

they love you so much. And they definitely going to be biased. And that will create a lot of friction between the family members. Don't get the family involved. Unless it's something really, really urgent.

00:47:37--> 00:47:38

My brother and sister

00:47:39--> 00:47:46

one of the greatest tips to have peace at home is don't ever go to bed. And you're upset from each other.

00:47:47--> 00:47:54

Ever. No matter what happened. Kill slaughter that ego. She's your wife. He's your husband.

00:47:55--> 00:47:57

The Shaitan was gonna come and tell you he started

00:47:59--> 00:48:01

she he's gonna tell you she started

00:48:04--> 00:48:06

it's okay she's your wife.

00:48:08--> 00:48:09

My wife

00:48:10--> 00:48:14

by the way, one of the good the good word is

00:48:18--> 00:48:21

to give your wife a nickname

00:48:25--> 00:48:26

is this in the Sunnah

00:48:28--> 00:48:29

yes or no?

00:48:30--> 00:48:34

What does this who says an uncle Alisha how Myra and

00:48:35--> 00:48:37

and ash

00:48:39--> 00:48:41

Yeah, my rock. Oh yeah ish.

00:48:44--> 00:48:52

And your wife's name is in a FISA fool Santa Festivus something like that. zifa the loot is illegal.

00:48:54--> 00:48:56

And it cannot be creative. But this is a Cigna

00:48:58--> 00:48:58

so you're

00:48:59--> 00:49:34

not gonna sleep till you are happy with me and the solar cell and said should I tell you at the Bureau convenience a communal Jana? Should I tell you about your wife's from Jana? They said yes, yes. Yeah, Rasul Allah, he said the woman First he said Alleluia deliver dude, the one she has a lot of babies and she is very kind. But look at this part is ready, but I will see you later. Oh, how do you buy Soulja car that had the he had he if he had it? It'll be hummed in. Tada. The brothers would ask me after this.

00:49:35--> 00:49:38

After the lecture Please print this hadith. We want to put it on the fridge.

00:49:40--> 00:49:51

This is excellent said the best of their wives and Jana is the one she will not go to sleep and Chantel sheet until she tells you I will not go to sleep and she takes your hand until you are pleased with me.

00:49:53--> 00:49:58

spamela Yeah, when I know we're laughing but keep in mind Carla Rasulullah

00:50:00--> 00:50:00

Now young.

00:50:02--> 00:50:06

My sister, he doesn't say these things from his own desire. These are why you're new,

00:50:07--> 00:50:11

especially all the Hadith that we are quoting our authentic hadith.

00:50:13--> 00:50:23

My sisters, this is extremely important, I want to try to finish quickly, please listen very carefully. Don't ever put him in a position to choose between you and his mother.

00:50:26--> 00:50:31

To say it, shake your head, honey, I know we've been there, we've done that.

00:50:32--> 00:50:36

Don't ever do that you will be a mother in law soon.

00:50:38--> 00:50:40

What goes around comes around,

00:50:41--> 00:50:42

she has his mother,

00:50:43--> 00:50:51

try to make a balance my brother also be very careful. Your mother has rights and your wife has rights. They both have rights.

00:50:53--> 00:50:54

Have a balance.

00:50:55--> 00:50:56

Be with the hack.

00:50:58--> 00:51:01

Don't be against your wife, even though that your mother is wrong.

00:51:03--> 00:51:14

She's making up stories against your wife. And you still know tell her mom, she didn't do that in a very, extremely kind way. Think about the worst before you talk to your mother.

00:51:18--> 00:51:28

And the righteous sister is the one who really take care of her mother in law. Because she knows that by taking care of his mother, you're gaining his heart. He loves his mother.

00:51:29--> 00:51:37

Trust me, without asking, I know for a fact that everyone loves his mother. And if he sees you trying to come

00:51:38--> 00:51:41

and please his mother, you have done something amazing.

00:51:51--> 00:51:52

My

00:51:55--> 00:51:56

beloved brother,

00:51:57--> 00:52:14

for the husband on the wife, there are rights and she has Jews to him. And the wife has rights on the husband. And he has used to her whomsoever demands his rights, and does not give his dues. He's a volume.

00:52:15--> 00:52:16

I'll repeat

00:52:18--> 00:52:20

because it's probably summarizes everything.

00:52:21--> 00:52:35

For the husband and the wife there are rights and she has dues to him. The wife has rights on the husband and he has used to hurt whomsoever demands his rights, and does not give his dues his volume

00:52:40--> 00:53:01

salatu salam said is this hadith Yes. In the law ha ha Rama Allah you come on Mahat wa min and we're hurt. Well, what did dinette Allah made haram for you, to disobey your mother and to bury your daughters alive. And the third one our showerhead were men were hurt.

00:53:02--> 00:53:25

You asked for your rights, but you don't give your dues. Haram haram, Boko Haram will carry Harlequin and Allah hate it for you three things castrati, Suanne what a DA ting man, Joaquin Allah con, Allah hates three things to waste money, ask too many questions and spread rumors, plead our call. He said she said

00:53:27--> 00:53:28

Allah hates that

00:53:33--> 00:53:39

and Allah subhanaw taala and the sort of the few Oh, no, where you learn a little motor? 15 What does a motor 15 mean?

00:53:40--> 00:53:43

Or you might say what does that have to do with with this with this lecture?

00:53:44--> 00:53:47

Why the motor 15 What do the motor 15 do?

00:53:48--> 00:53:49

When they buy

00:53:51--> 00:53:52

what do they do tell me

00:53:54--> 00:54:10

they want the full and when they sell, they cheat. So Subhanallah you will be from the motor. 15 if you when you ask for your rights, you want them fun, and when you want to give your dues. You're behind Be careful why you learn why you don't learn motor 15

00:54:13--> 00:54:26

My brothers and sisters have nearly vests on Lacan untimeliness en la han you are their garments, and you are their garments Subhanallah you know how close is the garment to the body.

00:54:28--> 00:54:29

So

00:54:35--> 00:54:37

the government protects the body from the

00:54:39--> 00:54:45

Take someone with you. The gun protects the body from the from the heat

00:54:49--> 00:54:50

protect it from the call.

00:54:52--> 00:54:54

The garment makes you look good.

00:54:55--> 00:54:59

Right? The garment covers your Are you

00:55:00--> 00:55:11

So you are her garment and she's your garment. You cover her defects in front of people, you praise her always. And she covers your defects. And

00:55:13--> 00:55:17

you always make her look good, especially in front of her parents.

00:55:20--> 00:55:58

And if my sister you're not giving your dues, and you're requesting your rights, same thing, you are Voluma in the Lila your hip or volley mean, Allah does not like you're always asking for your rights and you're not giving your dues. You have dues and you have rights, both we have Jews and we have rights. And I will finish by this, Allah and my brothers and sisters. Allah subhanaw taala like he said, which Allah Vina commanded that and Rama, Allah put Muhammad and Rama between the husband and the wife. So sometimes a very simple

00:56:01--> 00:56:03

action could bring this love and mercy

00:56:05--> 00:56:09

Can I can I have a small sister they have a sister here young sister.

00:56:11--> 00:56:22

Just put this on the floor over there. Please distribute these inshallah to Allah sister Hala the nanny in case anybody needs any you can distribute them inshallah.

00:56:26--> 00:56:27

A small

00:56:28--> 00:56:34

gift my brother, a very small gift will go a long way.

00:56:35--> 00:56:39

But a small gift every once in a while. It's not about the price.

00:56:40--> 00:56:51

It's about just your thought of her. Really. When is the last one you last time you brought a flower or a piece of cake or or a

00:56:52--> 00:56:56

box of chocolate or hijab or my sister when is the last time you gave him a

00:56:58--> 00:57:01

soluble pen or anything?

00:57:02--> 00:57:11

These small things they make a huge difference. Masala SLM told us again. Hadith, everything I told you this hadith to her due to her boo.

00:57:12--> 00:57:15

give gifts it will create love.

00:57:17--> 00:57:21

If this is with the stranger How about with the Corrib with the moon.

00:57:22--> 00:57:36

The gifts his magic effect. If I bring your gift Subhanallah it will create a special relationship between us. So every once in a while. My brother, my sister every once in a while, you know walk in with a

00:57:37--> 00:58:01

with a small gift. Stop by Kroger see if they're having a sale on doesn't have roses. Grab something piece of cake anything. Her favorite ice cream her whatever. And come home and Sharla to Hannah it makes a huge difference. Surprise her every once in a while. Good surprises me that surprise. You divorced. No

00:58:05--> 00:58:21

good surprises nice surprises every once in a while. A beautiful surprise when Subhan Allah will will you rejuvenate the the love and the mercy among the husbands and the wife? I ask Allah subhanaw taala with the best of his name's

00:58:22--> 00:58:56

ask Allah subhanaw taala with the best of his names for everybody who attended today, Allah Ahsoka, this miracle of email that either do a stage of your Allah to fill up all our homes with love and mercy. I am I asked you to put my head down and Rama between all our brothers and sisters in sha Allah Tala my brothers, I want you to please can you please form a line right here stand up brother and make a line all the brothers stand up make a line inshallah to Allah and I have a gift for you to give to your wife inshallah just make a nice line

00:58:58--> 00:59:00

my sister if you're gonna get the gift let me know in sha Allah

00:59:02--> 00:59:04

this Nikki line Oh, Michelle is standing for salon

00:59:05--> 00:59:06

okay

00:59:14--> 00:59:15

go by and take one by one.

00:59:17--> 00:59:20

Everybody take one shot at just one unless you're married to two.

00:59:24--> 00:59:40

Inshallah, may Allah protect you all. May Allah put love in Sakina and all our homes, may Allah keep the faith and away from our misogyny in sha Allah, may Allah unite our hearts is that Kamala here with Erica Luffy calm and inshallah Tada. The sisters you will get your rose when you get home. Salam aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh.

00:59:48--> 00:59:50

If you're gonna have a wife, you could take it to your mother

01:00:00--> 01:00:00

Have

01:00:05--> 01:00:06

a headwind

01:00:11--> 01:00:15

or

01:00:19--> 01:00:20

Ashley had

01:00:24--> 01:00:24

her

01:00:25--> 01:00:30

or

01:00:35--> 01:00:36

she had one

01:00:37--> 01:00:39

more hand man

01:00:49--> 01:00:50

I wish I had one

01:00:52--> 01:00:52

more him

01:01:04--> 01:01:05

hey y'all

01:01:26--> 01:01:27

Hey y'all

01:01:37--> 01:01:38

Hey y'all