Marriage Do’s and Dont’s

Mirza Yawar Baig

Channel: Mirza Yawar Baig

Topics: Marriage

Episode Notes

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Nikah Khuba by Sh. Mirza Yawar Baig at Mahmood Habib Masjid and Islamic Centre

Episode Transcript

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In the lambda Lillah

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wa Salatu was Salam O Allah shuffelin via Muhammad Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa he was happy he was

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just leaving Kaziranga.

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I've done a lot of

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my dear brothers and sisters and elders. Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

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It was the practice and so now of Rasulullah sallallahu sallam, that before he performed the Nika of anyone, he would give some words of advice to the bride and the groom. And that is what I am attempting to do here.

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In keeping with the Sunnah of Muhammad Rasulullah sallallahu sallam.

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The advice is for

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mine, my dear student and son, husband region

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and for his wife.

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And of course, it's a reminder for all of us, others.

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I want to begin with a question and the question that is addressed to you

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is,

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do you want to remain happily marriage?

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And I think that's a very basic question, do you really want to remain happily married? Because everything else that I'm going to say depends on that question. And inshallah, the answer to that is yes, we would like to remain happily married.

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In that case, my advice is

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not to do three things. And to do three things.

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dngs na, Carnegie or TJ Carnegie?

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Who she say shaddaa. Hey,

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I want to start with the don'ts first, and then the do's because we want to end on a happy note.

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The first thing that you should not do is don't collect garbage.

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Do not collect garbage.

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Have a selective memory.

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Remember all the good forget all the bad.

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Garbage is bad. He said something she said something, he did something she did something you didn't like it and you collect it. And some people are professional garbage collectors, they accumulate a lot of garbage.

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The problem with garbage is garbage stinks. And this garbage only you will smell

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so you don't want to spend your lives smelling the stink of garbage.

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So the first thing not to do is do not collect garbage.

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The second thing not to do is do not try to change or mold or sculpt your spouse.

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My question is if you did not like them before you got married to them, then why did you marry them?

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And if you like them before you married them, then why do you want to change them?

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So who is

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don't try to change them?

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What type of change? Very good question. Any change that is in line with your knifes with your personal desire, don't do it.

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As long as your spouse is under Sharia,

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as long as your spouse is doing something which is pleasing to Allah subhanaw taala leave them alone.

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Your spouse is not a piece of rock for you to sculpt your body, your spouse is not a lump of clay for you to mold. Your spouse didn't come to you because you are a psychiatrist. They got married to you they didn't come to be changed. So forget about changing.

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And if you don't like something in them change yourself.

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For example, if you say my spouse never smiles, there are some people who have a permanent funeral expression on their faces. If you want them to smile, do something to make them smile. And he will say well I did something 25 times when he was unsuccessful 25 times to try 26 times 2728 times until it happens.

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change yourself because that's the only one you can change anyway. Second thing not to do Third thing not to do is do not criticize

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do not criticize

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criticize what as long as they are not disobeying Allah subhanaw taala as long as they are not going against the Sunnah Muhammad Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam do not criticize.

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nagging never works. If your spouse wanted to marry a nag they would have married a horse.

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They wouldn't have married you

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So don't

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ask yourself, do you want Allah to forgive you? If you want a lot to forgive you, then forgive them and seek forgiveness. And thank Allah that He gave you a spouse which gives you so much of practice to seek forgiveness.

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Young man, like, went to his father is your father, I'm ready to get married. Father said say sorry.

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He said sorry for what he said sorry. He said forward, he said says sorry. He's I didn't do anything. He doesn't say sorry. He said what he says sorry. He said, Okay, sorry. He said, Now you are ready. When you are ready. When you can say sorry, without any reason you are ready to get married.

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So now three things to do. First thing is laugh.

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A sense of humor is like air. Without it you will die.

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laugh at yourself and with others. Don't laugh at others. laugh with others. laugh at yourself.

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Especially when your spouse is being very irritating.

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laugh at yourself that you thought you were so intelligent than how come you were so foolish to marry this person?

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And especially laugh at yourself when you think the spouse is a fool because that's why they married you.

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Why else would they have married you? So laugh, the longer you laugh. The three things with couples who stay together couples who love together stay together. Couples who play together stay together, couples who pray together stay together. So these three things

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love together, play together and worship Allah subhanho wa Taala Jalla delallo together.

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That is the first thing to do. Second thing to do is be thankful and be grateful to Allah subhanho wa Taala and also Allah is Allah Allah said the one who was not grateful to the slave is not grateful to Allah, the One who has not thanked the slave has not thanked Allah subhanaw taala so thank each other, thank them for the small things, thank them because the roti came out nice, thank them because when you came home to the bedroom, the bed was beautifully made. Thank them because the house is beautifully cleaned. Thank them for the small things for a very simple reason which is the day those small things are not there you will miss them.

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And therefore when the small things are there, thank them for those small things because they are not small. Each one of them has value. And the last thing that you must do at least three times a day, which is to demonstrate your love for your spouse. Show it

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don't say they know

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Allah subhanaw taala

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lane ceccato la ciudad de como la uncover tominaga Villa de la la hotel is

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the one who thanks me for my

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bounties, I will increase those boundaries and the one who was ungrateful let him be beware of my punishment.

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Why is Allah subhanaw taala telling you to thank him, doesn't you know, doesn't you know what's in our heart? Because thankfulness and showing of love is about you. It's not about them. It's not about whether they know or they don't know whether they know or they don't know they still want to know from you. So it is a question of you expressing it and I say do it at least three times a day. I've been married 130 years. So I should know.

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And as I said happily married at least I am happy my wife I don't know you have to ask. We ask Allah subhanaw taala to bless these two and we ask Allah subhanaw taala to make their their marriage, exemplary inshallah. Allah subhanaw taala to make their marriage full of happiness and higher and Baraka. And we ask Allah Subhana Allah Allah Allah Allah to be pleased with them. We ask them to have their We ask Allah subhanaw taala to make the both of them follow the Sunnah. mohammadu Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, Allah Allah, Allah Allah. Allah Allah He was a big man, Veronica