Channel: Mirza Yawar Baig
kilohana Rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa salatu salam ala schieffelin Gavan, mousseline Muhammad Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam to Steven cathedra abajo vida baton sisters, in our series of lessons about the wisdom of love Monterrey Salaam.
I was talking to you about the duty of children towards their parents. And then we were looking at the issue of parenting itself, the duty of parents towards their children. There's nothing in Islam, which is one sided, everything has
a reciprocal effect. And so, therefore, children are
enjoying, it is enjoined upon them they are ordered, to be respectful to their parents, to be kind to them to serve them. And whereas it is also
incumbent upon the parents that they do the therapy of the children that they raised their children as good Muslims. And as I mentioned,
yesterdays in last week's lecture, there is a book of mine called raising a Muslim child. Please look it up. It's on Amazon and Kindle and various platforms in most places are almost everywhere except Amazon. It is free.
on Amazon, I think it has some manual charge which
Amazon insists that we have to you can't put free books on Amazon. So it's there on that
take it from anywhere. So I suggest you read it inshallah, you will find it beneficial.
A lot of animal data, when he told people to take care of parents to be kind to them and so on Allah subhanaw taala toward them also another thing and that is Allah, tala told them told people that if parents
obey them, as long as they tell you to obey Allah,
but if they tell you to disobey Allah, then you disobeyed them. Allah did not say you do so but you disobey Allah by obeying them. He said, No. If they tell you to disobey Allah, then you disobeyed them.
There is no obedience. In Islam, there is no obedience. As soon as a wrestler told us, there is no obedience to the creature in the disobedience of the Creator.
There is no obedience to parents or bosses or spouses or rulers or whoever, when they tell you to disobey Allah subhanho that we derive all authority from Allah subhanho wa Taala. And so the one who disobeyed Allah subhanho wa Taala he or she makes himself or herself forfeit all authority. And so obedience to that person is no longer an obligation.
Allah subhanaw taala said in the sight of
Wayne Jazakallah Angelica be Malaysia laka be here for Allah to Allah. Wa Hey Bahama dounia Moreover, what Bay Sevilla mon Ana de la la mar zero con una bukhoma tom tom Allah, Allah tala sir but if they both tribe with you, to make you join in worship with me, others of which you have no knowledge and do not obey them, but still behave with them in the world in a kind manner.
This thing in Islam, even if they are telling you to disobey Allah, even if they are
advising you towards evil, which is what is the source of all evil, still, treat them properly. treat them well treat them respectfully treat them kindly be considerate towards them, even if they are doing this, but do not obey them in what they tell you. But do not let your treatment change.
Not saying that if they are
if they if the parents tell you to make sure court or some Buddha or disobedience of Allah subhanaw taala in any way, then all rules are off and you can do whatever you want with them. You can you know abuse them or no No, no. All the rules are in place. You will still treat them
I'm extremely well with respect with kindness, with consideration
except that in the particular thing, where they are telling you to disobey Allah, you will not obey them. That is, and then Allah said
and then to me will be your return and I shall tell you what you used to do.
Allah said and then to me will be altered. And I will tell you what we used to do.
I specifically mentioned Schick as that is the most serious of disobedience. But it extends to all forms of disobedience of Allah subhanaw taala and also Allah He sallallahu Sallam
one of the beautiful stories from the era of Rasulullah Salah,
which I'm sure I've mentioned to you before, as well. But like all of these stories, these are well worth repeating over and over again, because the lessons are so powerful and so important. And that story is about Abu sufian before he became Muslim,
before he became Muslim, he was not just an ordinary enemy of resources, Allah, he was not just somebody who did not
believe in Rasul Allah is Allah Salam or did not follow him. He was an active enemy of Rasul Allah.
And he was the leader of all the enemies of Allah.
He was the man who
engineered and who
created our the Battle of butter was his creation. Then the battle, he actually led the troops
to come to Medina, and their purpose was to kill the socializer sallam. And then he led the troops in the Battle of zap in the Battle of conduct where I was here and was the general commanding general of that army of 10,000 plus people. So I was there was no
was no friend of Allah. Now his daughter, who mahavihara delana was married to.
this nigga happened in our senior
did the Nika on behalf of resources, Ella, and she came to Medina, and she was the wife of salsa, Salah, so she is among the Moto momineen and she's among our mothers now.
Then soon after they happen.
And they are again, I was aware was the leader, where they tried to inflict a very humiliating, not try to they managed to do that, a very humiliating Treaty on
after that, so this way, whatever was to be in effect for 10 years, but in the second year, the Quraysh, they violated the treaty, they broke some of the
they broke the, you know, the the facts, the elements of the treaty. And I've also now got very worried that Rosaura, Salah might punish them by leading troops to Makkah. So he tried, he came to Medina and his
his idea was to try to,
to try to see if you could persuade Surah Surah salam, to ratify the treaty once again because the Quran had broken it. So the treaty was no longer valid. So he wants to wander to try to see if he could do something to ratify this treaty.
He went to the house of parliament.
And he tried to ask him to intercede with rasulillah salam on behalf on his own behalf. Southern Allah refused. He said no, sorry, I'm not into this. Now I will not intercede for you.
So he asked him whose help should I take? You know, who should I ask to give me protection? while I'm in Medina, so hasn't been there. Lana was a little boy, a small boy, maybe five years old or less. Southern Alisha asked him, I tell him to give you give you protection. I mean, that was like an insult to him. Yeah, how can I apply a little boy give protection to to anybody. So he said do that. So anyway, he realized
That he's not getting any traction there. So he went to his daughter's house, he went to the house of
delana. And when he entered the house,
and he was about to sit down.
And as soon as
he was about to sit down, there was a, you know, sort of bench on which he used to sit and used to sleep. So his bedding was on this bench. So as I was up and came, and he was about to sit on that
she shifted that but he folded it up, he removed the bedding, off of sources. So I was aware and realize what was happening. And he tried to,
he tried to turn it into a sort of humorous thing. So he said to her, oh, you folded up the bed of your husband, because it's not good enough for me. So she turned around, and he said, I folded up the bed of my husband, because you are not good enough for that bed.
You are not fit to sit.
Now, before I tell you the rest of the story, think about this is z
in the place of Rasulullah saw salam,
if you were in his place, and say for example, you had bad religion with your father in law, and father in law comes and your wife treats him like that she you know, Fords up the bed, or he wants to sit in your favorite chairs. He says no, don't sit there, you know, sit in the other chair or something like that. What would you say? What would you say? How would you feel?
I can tell you, most of us, we would be very happy. And we would say you know what? I'm very happy. I've got his wonderful wife. He is totally
loyal to me. And this father in law, this man is, you know, he's I mean, I don't like him. He's a bad man. Anyway, he deserves it. So I'm very happy that his own daughter gave it back to most of us, believe me, this is what our reaction would have been. What happened in the case of
Houma. delana, when this whole thing finished, and I was again and gone back, she told us all as a result of Arizona, my father came, and, you know, he wanted to sit on this bed, I folded it up. And he asked, he tried to make a joke. Now, he said, Is it because I'm too good for the bed, the bed is not good enough for me. And I said, No, I fold it up because you are not fit for this bed, you are not fit to sit, you're not good enough to sit on this bed. Because this is the bed of the Rasul of Allah sallallahu
Sallam got upset.
He did not like that. He told her that you must treat your father with respect. Your father's relationship with me has nothing to do with your duty to your father.
And he was not happy that I'm not happy that this is what this is how you treated it. He came to your house. He had a right as as your guest and as your father. And you did not even that right? You.
You know you
the party, you kind of talk to him like that. And now he's a listener expressed displeasure. Now it's not to say that NASA actually said all the words that I said just not that I'm trying to explain the situation. So this is this is the the Islamic principle about the treatment of parents, that even if the parents are themselves evil, even if the parents themselves, they may not be evil, but they are not, they're not Muslim, even if the parents are people who disobey Allah, and to the extent in this particular, even if they tell you to disobey Allah,
all that Alice rantala says, Do not do not obey them because what they are saying is wrong. So don't do something wrong and then say, Well, you know, after all, he was my father, he was my mother, she was a mother, No,
you do not do wrong period. But at the same time, how do you treat them with respect with kindness with consideration
so to think about this, our brothers sisters, viola, today, we live in times where we get very upset.
Just now recently, I think yesterday or something like that, that Charlie Hebdo. The magazine in France in Paris, again, they have published the so called cartoons,
which are supposed to be insulting
tourists or license to sell them. And once again, people are getting very, you know, het up about it. But seriously, ask yourself this question. First of all, why
bother let anybody say anything it makes makes makes no difference if the sun is shining. And if somebody says the sun is not shining, it is dark, what does it matter? Because it just shows that they are blind, something which is in their face they can't see. And that is the goodness of Mohammed Salah Salah. They don't want to see any of them. Why must we get upset, there's nothing for us to get upset about. Second thing is, apart from that my point here is that let us look at ourselves and say, do we practice the Sunnah of Rasulullah surah Salaam in our lives. So Allah if we behave the way that Rasulullah Salah behaved and the way he taught us to be, then people would have
a hard time trying to malign the name of our solar system. I know in the in the Islamic Islamophobic world, there are those who are the equivalent of the Nazis. And there is nothing that you can say, which is going to convince them to change their mind because their mind is already made up, it is shut down. They have formed their opinions. And really nothing that you can say or do will ever change.
But not everybody is there.
And that's a very small,
perhaps very small percentage of the whole population of the world, the whole non Muslim population, the vast majority of non Muslims, as far as the Prophet sallallahu wasallam is concerned as far as the solar system is concerned, there are two things which are there. One is that most of them are ignorant about, they don't know anything about that they may know the name, but other than that they don't know. The second thing is that as far as they are concerned, the person they know is you.
They are looking at their Muslim colleague, their Muslim friend, their Muslim neighbor.
As they are driving on the street, they are looking at the behavior of somebody who looks like a Muslim, so identifiable as a Muslim.
If they go into a store, or they go into a restaurant,
they see a lady in a job, they see a man with a beard,
whoever they identify as a Muslim, whether you are I like it or not, that person becomes for those people,
the symbol of Islam and the symbol of Muhammad Sallallahu.
Now, you might say, Well, you know what, I didn't sign up for that, well, you may not have signed up for it consciously, but unconsciously you signed up for it, I signed up for it, because we are Muslim and who is the first of the Muslims Mohammed Salah.
So, it is very important for us to reflect on what is my behavior due to the image of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam.
So in I may not be drawing cartoons now Villa was, I wouldn't do that. I may not be inserting the Saracen salon novel, I would not do that. But maybe my behavior is such that when somebody sees my behavior, then there's a See, this is a follower of homosassa. And that is insulting to the memory of a socializer.
Is that happening with me? This is what I need to ask myself, this is what you need to think about and ask yourself,
are we by our behavior? Doing something? which amounts to insulting Rasulullah? sallallahu?
Right, think about that. I mean, I agree we don't draw cartoons and stuff. We don't say anything disrespectful about him without tags. And of course, obviously we should not. But the point is with our behavior,
we behaving in a way which reflects well on the solar system, or are we behaving in a way we should reflect badly on
and believe me? No amount of your and my complaining and telling people don't look at me read the biography of mamasan seldom read his Syrah nobody does. Nobody does. Nobody will
be we don't even teach the Syrah and our mother is whatever anybody else.
But believe me people are people go by what they see and what they see on a daily basis. So make sure that you never do anything, which reflects negatively on the beautiful memory of Muhammad Rasul Allah He
Parents are meant to guide their children according to the book of Allah and the Sunnah of His Messenger, Muhammad Sallallahu sallam. When they failed to do that they lose their authority.
an honor. And then it is not only
not permissible for children to obey the meaning, if that happens if they, if they guide their children or they try to compel their children to disobey Allah, or to go against the Sonata mamas or sanlam, then the children must disobey them.
And they must not have it. So this is the advice and this is the order that Allah is giving
to us. Now, parenting is a great responsibility. But sadly,
people don't bother to learn how to do it. It's just an accidental thing. People become parents, and then they just they think that just feeding the child is,
is all that they are required to do.
And that's why my wandering around tiller is said that the only responsibility of the mother is to raise her children.
He didn't even say that it is her responsibility to look after her husband. Forget about looking after her mother in law and father in law. Obviously, it's not her duty to go out and earn money and, you know, bring it to the house. None of that it is
the mother's sole responsibility is the raising and upbringing of the children. And that's the reason it is essential to learn what to do, because you will be questioned about it.
Children are our investment and think about that children are our investment. They are our ongoing reward. They are the Serato DJ area that we ask Allah for, or punishment, as I mentioned, in the last lecture, if we do the wrong thing, if we teach them the wrong thing, then their actions will reflect negatively on us. Just as if you treat for example, if you treat them if you teach them the importance of salah and they are praying five times a day, and under law, they will get the full reward of it and that reward full reward also will come to you. If you taught them the importance of that job, when they get up and pray that you are getting the reward for that they are getting the
full reward for that. And of course, you can hope that they have anything to offer you. But if you discounted the importance of Salah if you didn't teach them how to do Salah if you never prayed, and so they never learn to pray, you know even by looking at you, then the problem becomes that when it comes to them, they will be you will be responsible for them not praying. Now, if we did nothing to bring up the child as a Muslim, connected to Allah subhanaw taala and a solo Salah with good character and manners, a good responsible citizen of the world
as a compassionate human being
and as a positively contributing person, then we are culpable before Allah.
Sisters, raising children is not an activity that can be outsourced to us to daycare centers. Definitely not to your gadgets, not your cell phones and iPads. It is the primary responsibility of the parents. And they can use schools or anyone else as a resource to fulfill a part of that responsibility. But the accountability remains with the parents.
please do give this some serious thought. In this context, it is often very painful to see how parents create an atmosphere that is far away from Islam in their homes. And then they blame society for being the corrupting influence in their children's lives. Many times, people, you know you hear this conversation to say How bad was it has become and how terrible and so on and so on.
But then if you ask them,
say tickle, just think about it, take a look and say how is your life? How is your home? What kind of atmosphere is in your home? And what do you have to say about that? If you ask them that you will be surprised if you look at that. There is really no difference between the atmosphere in our home and the atmosphere in the outside world.
In the outside world about the outside world we say that there is all sorts of fitna there is all sorts of disobedience of Allah, you know, look at the billboards, look at this. Look. Come home and look at your TV programs.
What are you watching on TV? Today, the thing has
Because that even if you watch the so called within quotes, good program there is stuff in between that comes, which is not good.
Right? So what what are we teaching? When children come home? Do they hear the sound of the Quran tilawat to the Quran? At the time outs at Salah time what happens?
If there is a Masjid nearby? Do you go to the mosque duty? Which is you take your children with you, if there is no budget nearby and you can't go to the masjid, then do you pray at home? And when you pray at home, do you pray in Java or do you pray individually, I mean, you are praying individually and you hope that the children are also praying Allah knows best what happens. So if there is no contrasting atmosphere in the home,
right. So the children, our children, our children, whatever is happening in their lives outside they go to school is that they come across all sorts of influences, but when they come home, they do not have the experience of a different influence.
So you are not giving them a benchmark against which to judge what is right or wrong.
The biggest force to combat the negative influence of society is your home, it is inside your house. Right? Because if if the inside of your house in the atmosphere in your home, is in contrast with whatever they see outside, then inshallah they will judge society against what they are seeing at home, and inshallah they will choose what they're seeing at home. But if there is no difference, then what Same thing with regard to
friends, many times people say, you know, my child is falling into bad company and so on. What should I do? I tell them invite tell them to invite those friends home to your place. So now when those friends come and see your atmosphere at home, they see you You see them and this and your child now sees that friend, the context of your home, and inshallah your home is a place of good manners of kindness, compassion, other of obedience to Allah subhanho wa Taala, right, all this, then one or two things that happen, either your child will let go of the friend and say this one doesn't fit into the scheme of things, or that friend changes.
But the important thing is that this
home of yours, this is the key thing. None of this will happen if there is no difference between the inside of your house and outside society.
If the two are the same, then you cannot hope for any good to come out of that. So it's very, very important.
No society can corrupt somebody in whose home
the pleasure of Allah is the deciding factor for every decision.
Does it please Allah, no society can corrupt anybody whose home is an example of the Sunnah of Rasulullah Salaam in practice. But if your home is full of the same kind of filth that is there in the outside world, then don't blame society for the outcome.
Sallam said, there will be some parents who will see their children being thrown into the jam, and they will know that they are the reason for that. Now what a terrible
fate is that?
Allah, Allah told us the story of law panelists, so that we can learn from it and change ourselves. The advice the advice is addressed by the father to his son, but the advice is for fathers and sons and mothers and daughters, everybody, and as they say, the child is the father of the man, meaning that as the child is so the man or woman will be when they grow up. Selfish children, focused on toys grow into selfish men and women focused on wealth for which they are willing to sacrifice both relationships and their own.
How many cases do we see our families breaking apart over the division of property, burning up in mutual jealousy and unable to see the success of their own siblings?
My brother, sister, let us take heed of this and correct ourselves before the time comes when we will be called before Allah subhanho wa Taala
Raising of children, as I mentioned, is a serious business. And it must be treated with great seriousness. Because children are our biggest asset, they are your biggest investment. You may remember this is a life we are talking about. I remember a conversation I had with another friend of mine,
who had at that time, three children. And
they were very small. I mean, the the youngest one, I think was a few months old.
And he told me that my wife feels, she's at home, she's looking after the children. And she feels very unfulfilled. And she feels that she needs to go out to work. But these children are so small, and so on, so forth. So what can you make, can you advise us can help us? So I asked the lady, I said, Tell me about this thing? How do you feel? So she said, You know, I feel very,
I feel unfulfilled, whatever that means. And
so I think I'm just wasting my life.
Instead of that, if I get a job, then my life would be spent more usefully.
So I told her that you are trying to tell me that sitting in a call center answering phone calls or credit cards, is more fulfilling than raising three human beings.
So no, I didn't say that. Of course, that's exactly what you said.
That is precisely what you said.
You said that your current situation where you are raising three human beings, you are literally, I mean, I want you are creating them, because you Allah created them, but you are raising them. So you're creating them in a in a in another way.
And you are saying that this is less important, and less fulfilling, than doing a job? Would that what you would have got, we're talking we're not talking about becoming the prime minister of the country. So this is what
that job would be more fulfilled houses possible, tell me what kind of thinking is,
here, you have a chance of molding the character of three human beings, to make them into standard bearers of Islam, to make them into beautiful human beings, who will be a credit for you, to make them into human beings, into into people who will be a means of ongoing goodness for you sacado jharia, for you throughout your life.
Right, this is your chance.
And instead of that,
you want to leave that and you want to go work in a call center or something.
It doesn't make sense.
But you know, the thing is that we have got conditioned,
this whole focus on materialism,
we've got conditioned, we think that the single solution for everything is money.
if you wake up in the morning, and you are healthy, your body is working, you have a roof over your head,
which means you have safety, and you have enough food for that day. You're not saying the week or the month or next day, not enough food for that day. He said anyone who wakes up in the morning, his body's healthy, got a roof over his head and he's got enough food for the day. It is as if the whole world has been collected for him.
Chava Allah said that,
if you have contentment in your heart,
if you have contentment in your heart,
you are equal to somebody who has the whole world. And nobody has a whole word.
He says if you have contentment in your heart, it is you are equal to someone who has the whole world.
This is the meaning of of raising children.
Right? Think about this. I say this to parents all the time I asked them
two questions. First question I asked them is who is your role model?
Think of your role model.
And give them you know, few seconds because obviously a robot must be top of the mind. So it doesn't take you you don't have to, you know, reflect and struggle for that.
And then I ask them, is there a parent
about this question in multiple countries, multiple audiences Muslim non Muslim
in some cases as them is that a parent, your role model, in another example, some other cases where I'm talking to schools as well.
As a teacher, or a parent or a teacher,
to all of these three questions, is it a parent? Is it a teacher? Is it a parent or a teacher?
I have never had more than 5% of the audience, saying that the role model was a parent
or a teacher or a parent.
What does that tell you? It tells you that for 95% of the people in the world,
a parent is not a role model. Teacher is not a role model, a question to ask is why not because these are the two roles the parent or the teacher are the two roles which have the maximum face time with a child and out to the to the parent obviously, is far more.
So you are telling me that even though your child sees you day in and day out, maximum face time with a child and maximum contact with a child, but you are not the role model of the child, then I have to ask you what parenting is that?
that's the first question as a question I say that in in instead of you if your child was sitting here. And if I asked the same question to the child, who is your role model? Think of your own model? Is it a parent? Would your child be thinking of you?
And for those who tell me yes or no, I tell them how do you know? How do you know?
It's not just a matter of guessing. I am saying that my child thinks that I am his role model. How do I know that?
My brothers sisters, give them memories.
Give your children memories, because a day will come and much sooner than you think.
When you will no longer be there.
At that time,
ask yourself, is your child going to wake up one hour before Salah to
pray and make dua for you and your forgiveness?
Is your child going to do that?
Is your child going to regularly give charity for you in your name?
Is your child
give them memories? If your child is in a dilemma, if your child is,
is struggling with a moral question with an ethical question,
will that child solve that question by thinking reflecting back and saying what would my father have done if he was here? What would my mother have done if I if she was here?
You know, there was this beautiful story about this Kenyan runner who was running this, this race. And he was way ahead. And the number two was a Spanish runner. And this was in Spain. So as the skinnier Nara came close to the finish line, he got confused, because people were cheering. And the signs were all in Spanish. And the man didn't read Spanish. So he stopped running. He thought the race was over. But the actual finish line was about 100 meters or something,
you know, ahead.
Right 50 meters on the order, it was a meters ahead. Now this Spanish runner, came up to this Kenyan runner and pushed him forward. He did not go ahead as a man.
He pushed him forward. He titled gentlemen, Spanish run the race is not over yet.
The Kenyan runner then suddenly realized what was happening. So he ran, he won the race. Now when the race was finished, reporters came to the Spanish runner and they said, Why did you do that?
It's his problem. He stopped running. That's his problem. You could have won the race, you could have just gone past him.
After the whole race, he was struggling to beat the man. And right at the end, where you could have just beaten him just like that. No problem. It's his problem, whether he runs or he stops. But you could have gone ahead. You know what the man says?
He was trying to tell the report I said, Look, that would be the wrong thing for me to do, because I had no I mean, that's part that's Kinney and Rhonda was way ahead of me.
There was no way I was going to win the race. And until he stopped,
so I can't do that.
But the man did not the reporter you know, Reporter So reporters. No, no, no, but you know, this this. The man said, What honor is there in that? If I had done that, what honor is there in that? And then he said something which blew me away. He said if my mother saw that, what would
he said, if my mother saw that, or if my mother knew that, that this is what I did, what would she say? Now the man is talking about the mother, the mother is not even there.
But that's the memory that the woman gave him
that never do something which is dishonorable no matter what.
So he pushes the Kenyan law. He said I had no chance of winning that race belong to that man.
He pushed him ahead. He did not go ahead, even though he could have legally done it. He did not do that. He said there is no honor in that. And what would my mother say? If she had known that I did something like this?
What a fortunate and what a wonderful woman must be the mother of that Spanish runner.
Time to wake up
and time to understand that parenting is not a joke.
Parenting is serious business. Do it seriously.
Do it seriously. be role models for your children, give them memories, which will stand them in good stead in times of need,
when they will remember you with honor and they will make dua for you. And they will ask Allah to forgive you. Or Salah lalana will carry while he was abused by him erotica.
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