Maintain the balance

Nelson Mandela wa salatu salam ala Silla Colombia, while early he was heavy on what about my dear brothers and sisters, what I want to remind myself and you about today is the importance of balance.

And this amount of data created this world in a way, where in every thing in his creation, He created it, full of good. And he created also with things which sometimes you might consider to be as not good.

referring specifically to people,

Allah subhanaw taala created people, men and women with both good, positive and negative.

And again, when I say positive and negative, there's nothing positive or negative by itself. It's in perspective, looking at being looked at by some people, something seems positive, something seems negative, to the extent that with Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi salam,

about whom our belief in our Veda is that Allah subhanaw taala created him without any faults, with perfect, the best of creation. But even with him, we actually have historical evidence based on the Quran, where there was a time when his wives, our mothers were not happy with him. And Allah subhanaw taala revealed Quran about this.

And those will tell us specifically we will several out of the Quran about this and said that if you are not pleased with my hubby, then I will ask him to let you go with grace. And I will give him better than you.

So even with him, Sarah Salem, we find that some people were dissatisfied. And I'm not talking about his enemies, enemies were dissatisfied obviously, but here we are talking about his own family. And that's not because there was a fault in him. But this is human nature.

This is human nature, where even if there is no fault, then for people, especially people who live with you on a daily basis, sometimes things become difficult to,

to put up with or difficult to wear.

As well as in one Hadith he said

that sometimes a man will do good for his wife all his life. And then he does one wrong thing. And she will tell him that I never got anything good from you.

And the same thing is true also off men, the woman might be doing something on a daily basis.

She takes care of the van and she takes care of the house and everything else and

men take men seem to take it for granted as if this is their right. And then something goes wrong. And then immediately, of course you find fault with all the what I'm saying is that it is therefore very important for us to keep this in mind and keep this in perspective to say that, first of all, if you find something negative in someone, then this is nothing unusual. That's how life is. And secondly, at that time, that is the time to look for something positive, because positive also is there Allah did not create anything with complete good or complete bad. So therefore there is something which is positive also in that situation.

And then what to do, and then do what we know from the famous hadith of a socializer Salam with respect to

sad Castro Delano,

where he came to the masjid one day, and I was sitting in the masjid with some of his companions. And he said a man will enter here who is a man of Jannah and sat in class all day long rented. And the next day, the same thing happened now is the rest of them said a man will enter and he is a man of the people of Ghana. And sadly maybe because of the law who entered the masjid

and a third day consecutively, the same thing happened.

And Savina because of the law, no entered the Masjid. So Abdullah Omar Abdullah Anna decided to find out what is it that says in Assad or Delano does

thanks to which also Allah is Allah Salam gave him this Bashar option.

So he decided he went to Cyprus as an Assad and he asked to stay with him as his guest and Sudan and South Sudan. Delano agreed. So Abdullah, I've never know the law. No, I went and stayed with him for three days.

And literally stayed in his house. He observed him very closely from morning till night. He made a note of all that he does. And at the end of three days, he said to him, that I came here for a reason.

And the reason was and he told him this story. He said this is what happened in the budget. And so as a result of give this

Bashar have Jana, for you. So I came to see and learn from you and see what is it that you do, which I can also do. And he said in three days I observed you, and there is nothing unusual about anything that you do.

Is it what we all do you do, which is the no variety than the hedgerows and whatnot.

He said, There is nothing unusual, there's nothing new that I have not seen before. That you do. So why did wrestler Saracen give this mashallah to is there something you're doing in secret which I was not able to observe? Then as other avellana said to him, he said, There is nothing secret, but there is something that I do, which you could not have observed, because I do it internally.

So certainly,

a beloved member asked him, he said, what, what is it that you do, which I could not see? He said, I settled all accounts before I go to sleep.

So he said, What do you mean settle accounts, he said, before I go to sleep, before the end of the day, if I have wronged somebody, I make up to that person.

And if somebody wrongs me, I forgive them.

He said, When I go to sleep every day, I make sure that there is no one who have not forgiven.

Whatever it is, I completely clean my heart and then I go to sleep.

So anything I have done, if I've done something wrong, I make amends, I go apologize or whatever. And if somebody has wronged me, I

make dua and I ask ALLAH SubhanA, Allah to forgive that person.

So I clean my heart.

And I remove all rancor and all negativity from it before I go to sleep.

And maybe this is the reason why the masala Salam said this.

And that was the reason a lot. So the point I'm saying is that

when we look at each other,

this is true. Of course, it's definitely true in marriages, but it's also true in our relationships and our with our friends and our colleagues and you know, people we work with our business partners and so on that we always maintain a sense of balance, and we don't get carried away by one or the other, you can have both you can also have situations where you see only the good in summary to such an extent that then one day when something negative you see that negative becomes so huge that all the good the person does goes down there, because how can this person do this, but this person was a human being he was a normal person, you created this image of this superhuman, you know, virtue of

goodness,

you know, evidence of goodness, that was your mind never said he was like that. So you created this other one day he says something, which you don't like or something which is wrong, and you trash everything and you say, Oh, what do you see this. So the whole issue is that both ways lack of balance, I whether it is in liking somebody, or in disliking somebody, because sometimes some some people out there who may have genuinely done something wrong, but we dislike them out of proportion to what they have done. So our dislike is like we hate them, or we don't we revile them and what they did not deserve that much. Okay, so he did something wrong. So, to whatever extent it was,

there has to be some sense of balance with regard to how we deal with people, and especially again, that as I said, it relates very much to the families, the wives and husbands. It's sometimes I

when I do when people asked me to speak about marriage and so on, I actually make them do an exercise, I tell them my view, I hand out sheets of paper, and I tell people write down all the good that you know about your husband.

I tell the women write down all the good that you know about your husband, I tell the men the same thing write down all the good that you know about your wives. And then I say turn the paper around and then write down all the bad that you know what is it you don't like about your husband? Now? What is it that you don't like about your wife and invariably Alhamdulillah invariably the good always outweighs the bad. There is a bad note out but the good is always more than the than the bad. I mean, take for example a simple thing the husband goes out he the husband takes responsibility of earning so that the woman is freed from this responsibility she if even women go and work they go to

work because if we like working not because they have to actually even Allah's Rhonda has given enough so now what is the value of that? What is the value of for the woman to be able to go to sleep in peace without worrying about whether there is food on the table? That is not my job, it's my husband job. What is the value of that? It has dropped somebody you know.

And many women realize it the day the husband dies,

then you realize suddenly, oh, now what's gonna happen to me. And many cases, the husband leaves enough for her to eat even even otherwise. Because this is raw Allah to handle that is not the husband and not the Raj if Allah and Allah creates means of risk. There are many people who are much better off after the husband dies because other people come and help them and so on.

The risk comes with hundreds round data.

And same thing with the with the with aspirin, and what is the value of the fact that you don't have to worry about coming home and cooking your food and seeing whether your house is clean or not, and so on. And if you have lived on your own, you realize the value of that I mean, anyone who has lived anywhere,

for many of us who lived in the West, I excuse them all the time, when you add to that was one of the big one, you come back from work, then there is food if you cook, if you don't cook, there's no food or you eat cereal or something. So, what is the value of that the fact that there is a that your house is clean that your clothes are taken care of that your all your needs are taken care of this hot food on the table, and so on and so forth. What is the value of that I mean, just to think and reflect on Sam's giving us some simple examples, they will be much more valuable and useful things. So I think this is very important for us to keep this in mind. And to cancel out and to

forgive whatever else that comes with it.

So with the with the fact that the house everything is taken care of maybe there is some irritation, maybe there is some, you know, aggravation in terms of how somebody talks. Forgive it, forgive it. Forget it is not It's garbage. It's not worth collecting and keeping and smelling from time to time to see how nasty it smells, it doesn't make doesn't make any sense. So get rid of it. Get rid of it. And the way to get rid of it is to forgive and to remember the Allah subhanaw taala forgives those who forgive others. Allah subhanaw taala forgives those who forgive others do Allah said, I've said, the one who shows mercy on this earth will be shown mercy on the day of judgment by last. We ask

Allah subhanaw taala to enable us to see the goodness in what he created and to be thankful to him for it and to forgive each other and to keep our hearts clean from all rancor from all resentment and to be focused on the fact that what we have from Allah to be grateful for is far more than whatever complaints you might have in our life. We ask Allah subhanaw taala to be pleased with us, and never to be displeased was a little hard on the military while he was average, but I had to get harder.