Living Islam – Raising a Muslim Child #02

Hello hello Mr Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa salatu salam ala Shanna philam VA will mousseline Muhammad Rasul allah sallallahu ala alihi wa sahbihi seldom at the Sleeman, Kathira and cathedra. From Mavado, my brothers and sisters I am starting today, the new series of, of classes on raising a Muslim child, these are supported by my book with the same title,

I think is a very, very important aspect of life that we need to think about very seriously. And which we need to

constantly remind ourselves I might say what is so special about raising a Muslim child? I mean, you know what, what's so special Muslim? This has relate this is related directly to what Allah subhanaw taala

mentioned about why He created us and why he selected us. Where is it Kentucky irama to Korea to leanness, that Muna Bill Morrow, if you want and Havana is one curry will be left the ayat of surah Al Imran 110, were honest about that I said, You are the best of people selected for the benefit of mankind, and you enjoy and good and forbid evil, and you have faith in Allah Subhana Allah. So Allah subhanaw taala very clearly

defined a purpose of our creation, we will not be we're not just created, you know, like mammals,

or other mammals, because we are also mammals, just to live and die, we were created to do something we were created to create, we were created in order that we can create goodness on ourselves for the benefit of people. As far as I said, I'm said the best person is the one who's the most beneficial to the people. Right.

So in this whole issue of being beneficial to people, I think it's a very important aspect of, of the creation of, of the Muslims, and unless and we have selected you for this purpose. And that's the reason why this whole concept of responsibility with regard to our future is something that needs to be ingrained right from the earliest childhood, which means that parenting is not just signing bills, it's not just throwing money, and toys at your cure your kids and gadgets. It is a very, very serious responsibility. And that's why why myself and you

and my submission to you all, especially those who are getting married, especially those who are who have just been married recently, is very seriously think about this responsibility of yours, because the purpose of marriages was twofold as we mentioned earlier, one is companionship other one is children. And if you got married, then it's something that you are looking forward to to have children may Allah subhanaw taala give you beautiful children who who are who are solid, who are whole and complete in every single way, children who are physically mentally, emotionally spiritually

perfect, who are who, who are healthy children who are going to be and should be and will be, Inshallah, something that you can be proud about, and something which and people who will be a means of sadaqa jariya for us, for you, people who will result in you having

benefiting from their good deeds, they will be an ongoing charity for you. long after you're gone people who will carry forward your legacy people who will be your contribution to the world and the world will be thankful to you for having raised children like that.

And hamdulillah these are all my doors for you. May Allah accept these dogs, we've had an affair in China for you, but remember the DUA alone by itself will not fly it has to be supported by effort on your part. And that is what we are talking about in this series of, of classes Inshallah, which is how to raise a Muslim child. So that explained to you because this Muslim child is going to be

responsible for certain things in life that he or she must be trained for that.

To give you an example. Unfortunately, these examples are very rare nowadays because we don't have monarchies and we don't have nobility. But

you in the days of yore, when we had when we had monarchy that we had nobility,

the children of nobles, the children of kings, were raised differently from ordinary people because their go their role in life was what was already defined.

So if you were a son or a daughter of a king, then your role in life was defined you had to grow up and

be in that position of your of your father or mother. Now, which is to rule a country ruler, ruler, nation, same thing for nobility, you are you grew up and you will take charge of those lands and those, that responsibility. And so the word is differently from ordinary people, because you your role was was already defined right now

I'm not, I'm not giving you the example of royalty nobility for just for the sake of it but because this has a direct reference and direct relevance to what we are we are talking about here, which is the the way in which Muslim children should be raised, they should be raised differently from any other children from the children of any other people. Because their role is different. Their role has been defined and defined by none other than Allah Jalla Jalla who, himself

now let's see what else amount of data

mentioned with respect to children. And sort of the shorter the two is 49 and 50. And I'm saying this specifically, I want you to think about this and reflect especially those of you who are very anxious to have children you would love to have children you are praying for that you're trying for that you're doing all sorts of things for that. And you are, you know, because you do not have children, you're very upset about this whole thing. But think about this and say, What is Allah subhana Tennessee? Allah said over 11 inches on rajim Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim Lila muku savatya will order the Yahoo Local my Asha Yahoo Lima Yasha Inasa where you have only my Asha was Dooku our

use of visual home Lucara no Inasa where Jabu my Asha Pima in Nauvoo, I need one call the

last one that I said, which means in these to add to Allah subhanaw taala geladeira Lu belongs the kingdom of the heavens and the earth. He creates whatever He wills, He bestows girls female offspring, upon whom He wills. And He bestows boys male offspring upon whom He wills, or investors, both males and females, and he renders barren, whom He wills. Verily He is the all knower and is able to do all things. So the first and foremost thing to remember and understand is that both girls and boys are from the

things that Allah subhanaw taala chooses to bestow on people. Right? There is nothing superior about one there's nothing inferior about the other, both are Minilite Allah and Allah Subhana Allah says very clearly, that Allah creates whatever He wants, Allah will give male children boys to who he wants, Allah will give female children girls to who he wants into some people Allah gives both boys and girls and to some people are like is neither.

So all the things all these four conditions, whether you have a son, whether you have a daughter, whether you have sons and daughters or whether you have nothing, all of these four situations are from Allah subhanho wa Taala so the first and foremost thing to understand about this is that what is our attitude toward toward we get from Louisiana 100 in Nairobi.

So if I have a son ICL, hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen I have a daughter I say Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen I have sons and daughters. I see Alhamdulillah Arabella, demean or like in my case, I have neither son nor daughters, I see Alhamdulillah

everything is from Allah subhanho wa taala. And we thank Allah subhanaw taala in all situations, we don't complain we don't groan and moan. The can of course if you want to have children so badly you can keep on making dua Insha Allah, if there is really this, if there is baraka in this, if there is blessing for you in this Allah subhanaw taala will give them to you but always remember to have a grateful heart and a grateful tongue

and never to complain. Then let us see what Allah subhanho wa Taala said with regard to children your your spouse's and your children.

Allah data set Azula to Tawan yeah are you are Levina No, in this is the the inner which is verily a truly which is

the

Allah is placing an emphasis on what comes thereafter after yeah you are the Rama no in min as word mean as word you whom what I will do come on

Do

for the room. We're in direful atoss for who whatever Pharaoh for in Allah ha for Rahim Allah says oh you believe very among your spouses and your children, there are enemies for you

are the

enemies for you.

That is, they would they would probably stop you from obeying Allah or or invite you or force you to disobey Allah. Therefore be aware of them for the row, be aware of them. But if you pardon them and overlook and forgive their faults and Verily Allah subhanaw taala is oft forgiving, Most Merciful. The next eye against a lot of Rama, this is to Robin, I have 14 and 15 Allah rather than is it in Nama and Wailuku Allah to whom fitna wala are in the whole agilone Ozzy, Allah said Verily your wealth and your children are a fit or they are trial they are test for you. Whereas Allah with him is a great reward which is Jana, we ask Allah for

four gentlemen, and then other items, those are AlFalah serata said why no more? And I said no. Why level and nama m y Lu Khumba. Allah to whom fitna verily your possessions, your wealth, and your children are a test for you they are a trial for you. Well Allah and Allah in the who agilan, Azeem and surely with Allah is a mighty reward.

Now,

as I mentioned to two things, one is we are talking about the issue of,

of children. And we said Allah subhanaw taala

mentioned for us the

Quranic references with regard to children, whether we have, you know, man, boys or girls, and all we have both of you have nothing, all of these are signs of Allah subhanaw taala as a blessing. And we ask Allah Subhana Allah to bless us, and to give us this with Chiron Baraka, all of them are things that we need to be grateful to Allah subhanaw taala for, right, but you might say, Well, how is it a blessing? Well, this is this is a blessing because Mandela told us, whatever Allah gives us, is, is a blessing. Now,

then, Allah subhanaw taala.

So having children is a blessing, not having children also is a blessing. Now, with regard to children, as I mentioned, two three, I had one in soccer and file to install Java,

all of them Allah, said your children, in in one case, Allah said your spouses and children, in another case, Allah said your wealth and chill, these are tests for you in the sight of number 14, also, Allah Allah subhanaw taala said your spouses, their children, as among your spouse's and your children, there are some who are your enemies. Now, let's just think about this. Handle, as I mentioned to you, I gave you a nice guy that Allah subhanaw taala should give you children and spouses of course, who will be a source of great mercy Alhamdulillah as a source of pleasure for you joy for you, and a source of great goodness for you.

But

a tendency that seems to be a lot of people is to and this is cultural, this is an Islamically culture, which is that people who have children are considered within quote, blessed, I have been blessed with a child who has been blessed with children. And those who do not have children are considered to be cursed they are supposed to be, they are considered to be bad luck. These are people something is wrong with them, and so on and so forth. Right? Now, first of all, get this cleaned out of your head, in Islam, children, having children or not having children is not a sign of being blessed or being cursed. Right or the opposite of be blessed. First, understand this very

clearly. Secondly, Allah subhanaw taala did not call children his blessing. Allah called children. It test just like Allah subhanaw taala did not call wealth a blessing Allah called wealth a test. Now, it doesn't mean that it's a curse. No, it's not either. Well, not sure. But it's a test. So what does it mean? It means that my wealth will be a blessing depending on what I do with it, how I earn it, and where I spend it. If I earn my wealth in a haram way, and I earn and I spend my wealth for haram things, for things that Allah has private

Then my wealth becomes a curse on me it's not a blessing right? If I build a house with haram income and I write have I'm in fact the rabbit does not make this house a blessing for me because my house has been built with a ROM well,

just because I said this is the this is a father of Allah, this is a blessing of Allah it doesn't make it a blessing, because the it becomes a blessing provided it is valid. Similarly with children somebody is oh my gosh Allah mashallah I have been blessed with children you have been tested with children, we have not been blessed with children. Whether those children become a blessing for you or not depends on what you do with those children. If you raise those children as good practicing Muslims as much caffeine, if those children have a truth for tongue in their mouth, if those children have a loving heart, if those children are compassionate, if they are courageous, if they

stand for the truth, and they stand against falsehood, if they spent their lives serving the communities and serving people and worshipping Allah subhanho wa Taala geladeira, who without joining partners with him and so on and so forth in sha Allah, definitely those children are a blessing for you. But if it is the opposite, if thanks to your raising, if those children turn out to be people who are far away from Allah subhanaw taala, who are against the Sunnah of Rasulullah sallallahu if they are if they are indulging in Haram if they are doing things which are destructive to society, if they are harming people, then those children are a curse upon you and you will be

held accountable because you are responsible for how you raise them. Now in some cases, and may Allah protect us for this I know cases like this where the parents raised those children well Alhamdulillah later on after those children attained majority, they went off to to colleges and universities out somewhere else or they got involved in society with the wrong kind of people and they went astray inshallah there is no blame on the parents for that. Because the parents did their job and they did a job. They did their job to the best of their ability insha Allah wa Allah subhanho wa Taala will not punish the parents for doing that. But if the parents raise their

children without knowing Allah subhanaw taala right if there is the children without knowing

if there is their children without knowing Muhammad Rasul Allah is Allah Salah and if there is there are children with the wrong values that the Wrath of Allah subhanaw taala was not important, the Salah is not important. reading Quran is not important. Fasting is not important.

Observing and being being truthful to yourself with regard to haram haram, not important, if you did not inculcate these values in them, my brothers or sisters, please understand, those children are not a blessing for you, those children will be the reason why you will be punished by Allah subhanho wa taala. We ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to save us from that punishment. So please be very, very clear in your mind about this, it is extremely important. We live and fall, we live and die, we rise and fall we succeed or fail based on what we do with what Allah subhana wa Tannat sent us with neverthele Sisters, it is very, very important for us to understand this. Now one of the

one of the things I want to share with you is that we have in all this in all the years that I've spoken to parents all over the world, I often ask them one question. And I say to them, please think of your most powerful role model that I tell them just think about it. Think of your most powerful role model and I tell them don't don't say as soon as Ursula, I'm talking about somebody who in your in your own life, someone living or someone who passed away but someone you knew personally right. So don't don't think about drones, Abraham Lincoln or or moms.

Please think of your most powerful role model and then ask them a second question. And that question is for how many of you is there a parent

the most powerful or model for how many of you is that a parent, I have never had irrespective of culture irrespective of religion, irrespective of nationality, irrespective of race, illustrator location, I've never had anyone.

I've never had more than 5% of the population put up their hands to say that their most powerful role model was either their mother or their father. Right? And either of the parents. That means for 95% of people, the role model, their parents, the two people who invested the most in their upbringing, are not the role models.

Right. It's real time

Did you I mean, it's a self inflicted tragedy. It's a real tragedy. And then I ask a third question. And that's a double whammy. That's the, that's the hammer of the head. My third question is, if your children were sitting here, instead of you, and I asked them this question, would they be thinking of you? And would they put up you put up their hands?

So, first question, who is the most powerful role model? Second question? Is that a parent? Third question, instead of you, if I were asking this question to your children? Would they be thinking of you? And would they raise their hand and say, my father, or my mother is my most powerful role model? Would they say that?

Right? Now, maybe even go and ask them?

I don't have to tell you the truth. But that's that's an option.

The tragedy is that the parents, neither the mother or the father

are not the role models. The role model is, it's somebody else.

Somebody else now, who is that somebody else?

I was talking to a group of young people. And these were all youth, all adult

in a masjid.

And this was a completely Muslim men and women, they were about 60 of them or something like that.

As them as a name for me three robots, three of your role models. Guess who they named? Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates.

My question to you is I'm not I'm not in analyzing Now, Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates and whoever. I'm asking you a very simple question, which is, do you know who are the role models of your children?

And if you think that's not important, please go think again.

A role model is somebody who your children look up to

your role model is somebody your children are following. They know all about that role model, a role model is somebody your children want to be like.

Who is that?

I'm not talking about a Sunday School answer sources No. In reality.

How does it happen?

How does it happen? That

Muslim youth sitting in a masjid

when I asked him this question, that when I say I look at me, I mean, somebody who will look like me, they know me, and they know me from the Islamic angle.

And I asked them a question.

They gave me these three names.

What does it tell you about

their focus? What does it tell you about their priorities? I'm not saying they're evil people. They're not evil people.

They are ordinary human beings.

But if your child is a Muslim, and you are a Muslim, it's not enough to be ordinary human being, you have to be an extraordinary human being and that will happen only if you have the right focus.

What is the right focus? How will you get the right folks?

That is my question.

Brother, sister, the parenting is a serious job, and one which must be undertaken consciously, clearly understanding what it entails.

Children have a right to have good parents, who can be role models for them. And who can not only teach them the tools to succeed in life, but also teach them how to take from the treasures of Allah subhanho wa Taala and succeed in the life of the ACA.

This is all parents.

Children have a right to that your children have a right to that. Please remember that whether you like it or not, you are a role model for your children. It doesn't matter whether you like it or not, you are a role model. Your choice is to decide what kind of role model you want to be one that they can look up to, or one that one day they will look down on.

Children listen with their eyes. They don't care what you say until they see what you do. So what are they seeing?

What are the See,

anyone who has children knows that that there is no such thing as your private life.

Whatever you do is under the spotlight, will be noticed will be learned and will be emulated. If there is any gap between the talk and walk of the parents, your credibility will fall to that gap.

Allah subhana does and do as a guide for your children

and the enormity of the response

civility is the reason for the honorable status that Islam gives to parents.

Parents who behaved dishonorably before their children are the worst of humanity. They are bismal, abominable and disgusting.

Let me give you just one example.

I want you to think of your own examples, but just one example.

How many people how many of you do your child's homework for them?

I've seen many cases.

Usually, it's the mothers.

The child comes with the homework, the mother sits and does the homework for the child.

Child as a project, Mother will come and mother will sit down and do the project, I have seen cases where the child is playing around somewhere else.

Or is, the child has his or her face in their smartphone.

The mother is doing the project.

Now, this is the

two evils in this first evil is that the parent is doing the work of the child, the child was supposed to learn.

But instead of the child learning now, you are doing the work for the child so the child doesn't.

The second problem, which is the bigger problem is the next morning when this work is submitted in the school. What are the child say? Does the child does your child say to the teacher, teacher, here's my work. But actually, my mom did this work. I did not do this work.

Right? Here's my project. And

my mom did this work I did not do so.

I have seen people

actually mother sitting and cutting things and so on and so on fixing whatnot, whatnot building. I'm building a plane, I'm building this for my child. Oh, that's fantastic. Why are you doing that? Oh, because this is a child's project in school is the child's project in school, it's not your project. Why are you building that thing?

And as I said, bigger problem is next morning when that child goes or submits this in the class, to their teacher, what do they say?

They say there is my project, who did his work, I did His work.

You know, the child is lying. The child knows the child is lying. The teacher also know the child is lying. I don't know of any teacher was so stupid as to believe that the child did the project or the mother did the project, the teachers will see that I've been a teacher 36 years. You can't fool me in things like this.

And I think that all other teachers are at least as smart as I am.

So what are you doing? You You're colluding? The parents or the teachers are colluding in teaching the real? The real value to the child which is that lying? is okay.

Lying is okay.

Tell me Is this what you want to teach them?

Is this the kind of role model that you are?

And if you are what do you want to do about that?

I'll give you an example.

Another example.

child doesn't want to go to school. You call in and say my child is not feeling well today.

child hears that you hear that?

I know cases where people actually give false medical certificates to the children teaching them to tell lies.

Is this the role of parenting?

Is it happening? Am I exaggerating?

Please, my brothers and sisters

sit down, reflect and think about this and say what am I doing in the name of parenting?

What kind of role model am I presenting to my children?

And of course, by extension, how do you speak? Especially when you're angry? Do you do you use profanity? What kind of things do you watch on television? How do you how do you the father treat the treat your wife the mother? How does you the mother treat the treat the treat the father?

Do you laugh at each other in front of other people?

Are you concerned you show concern and respect for each other?

What kind of books do you read? What kind of books do you give to the children to read?

Are you particular about salah do you go to the masjid for Salah

for Salah Fajr especially do you wake up your children and say Come come for Salah take do you take them with you to the masjid

or do you say no no but you know he was studying very hard last night and is he slept late so let him sleep. Now he will pray other later we

Want to invent a new religion? Convenient to ourselves? Which What do you do? As I told you, I'm not making an exhaustive list of all the stuff that we do in the name of raising children of please do that for yourself, do yourself a favor, do that make a list of things that you are doing and ask yourself, is it right is wrong? You don't need a move to move to ASTM to give you

fatwas for this you know what is right you know what is wrong? Ask yourself.

So, I want to begin this whole class with re emphasizing

two important things one is sugar dollars, man, for whatever you have in your life, children or children should

be thankful dollars matter. And the second one is to understand that your children, Allah subhanho wa Taala don't get offended with me. Allah subhanaw taala called them a fitna and not said these are our test. He didn't say they are a blessing. He said they are a test. Whether to convert the test into a blessing or not, is in your hands.

Ask Allah Subhana Allah DeLallo to wake us up to our responsibility of being parents

to raise children who we can be proud of and who will be a blessing for society for the whole world.

Masala Alana became while he was named but forgot about me, or Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah workers.