Marriage 15 Husbands Rights Upon Wives Part 3

Karim Abuzaid

Channel: Karim Abuzaid

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© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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In Alhamdulillah

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Nakamoto who want to stay in

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one hour we let him in Julian fusina on sejati Amina

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Mejia de la la la la

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palma you will we'll

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follow the Allah.

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Allah Allah Allah Allahu la sharika wash Mohammedan Aveda who wore a soul

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This is the 15th lecture from the series love marriage and divorce

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and inshallah This is the lecture before last

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we're gonna delay divorce until after Ramadan inshallah

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Come on sounds funny. Smile

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yeah until after Ramadan

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I mean talking about divorce, not divorce you

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This is the third lecture talking about the rights of the husbands upon their wives.

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And I'm so happy that we have a lot of brothers who are

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Mashallah here to learn about the rights.

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We mentioned

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last lecture that how kapa

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the wife is to obey her husband.

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And again, we want to stress and say of the, my sister in Islam,

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do it seek in the pleasure of Allah

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seeking gentlemen,

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not necessarily to

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Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, when every time he wanted to motivate his companions to do something, he would remind them of gentlemen.

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He said that if the woman raised her five Salas, five daily prayers, fasts her month of Ramadan,

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and keeps herself chased

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her Sonic faraja and if she obeys irassman, for things, imagine she gets too cold to enter agenda from any of the eight gates of gentlemen.

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Do it from that aspect.

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Do it from that window.

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Do it from that be motivated by this agenda is expensive. And so panela a price is to obey your husband.

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But again, we stress that this obedience is not unrestricted. It is restricted. La pata, Lima fluke in FEMA, Seattle. hurlock. No human being is entitled to obedience, at the expense of the disobedience of Allah subhanaw taala.

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If the husband commands his wife to do something that is haram, he is not entitled to obedience at all.

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Also, he must commend her

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to do something that she can do.

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And you don't come to your wife and tell her I want you to jump to the ceiling and come down and Oh, you're supposed to obey me. What do you mean?

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Arambula mean law you can live on Epson Illa

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Allah the creator does not subhanaw taala burden a soul more than it can be? You should do the same. You should ask her things that she can do she can deliver. If you want her to obey you, unlike we always say either Arata and tota Mobile Mustafa. If you want to be obeyed, ask the person to do something that they can do.

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Hockey cotton Yani. In fact, we did not cover the issue of Xena

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Xena Hua that the woman beautifies herself for her husband is a right that a lot of our Muslim women neglected.

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And I'm telling you, that led to a lot of fasset

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a lot of corruption

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when the husband doesn't see his wife attractive doesn't see

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His wife beautiful. She doesn't weigh what he likes him to what she likes, he likes to we guess what he has to fulfill this somewhere. So he ends up going outside looking at women going into the internet looking at women, he ends up doing fulfilling that desire through a lawful means and that is why it is the duty of the wife to fulfill that side.

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For her husband, she must beautify herself.

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Yani yonny when Allah Subhana Allah says in the Quran, yeah, a Johan levena M and Julio. Ding qumola de una Melaka a man who como la de la la mia bluewolf illumining comme cela thammarat Oh, you believe your children who did not reach the age of puberty

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and also those who are living in your homes.

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Even so, they are living with you, but they must seek permission to enter into your private area. Three times out of the de

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minvalue salatu

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wa hanaa tada onetti Abba camino mahira woman ba de Sala Alicia Minda de Salud.

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In fact

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Yeah, you're Latina Mr. Julio steden qumola de la jolla global Hulu mammen como La Nina Melaka la Tamara Min coppelius Allah to fetch that's one before fetchit

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wa Hina taba una Thea Baku minocqua Hera and will your nagging woman back to Asia and after Asia? Why?

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Why?

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Because the wife should be showing something special to who and by the way we're not talking about the fashion show here. Don't misunderstand me. Then they feel good to be a lot of the books they go into Oh, she must wear this and wear that and they go lol lol lol Come on. She had the moon was mela

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Sharif Mahal love the Navy medical and Nevis Allah wa sallam filmer Asada either Navara Ilaha Assad, if he looks at her,

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he is pleased not affect her.

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When he looks at her, he gets killed, let you get pleased. Now, this will vary from a person to another, then if you read the book, so it tells you She must wear this and

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whatever makes her husband happy.

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Some men are weird, they, they they want weird things. It's permissible as long as it is within the boundaries of the Sharia.

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By the way, this is also not unrestricted is restricted that she cannot do something that is what again is the Sharia law and Allahu Musa

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while muthana Missa Valois Scylla while most Oshima will Howdy, Allah curse is a woman who plucks Allah curse is a woman who is what

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llll a

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wig? Oh, Allah curses a woman who changes her creation. So Xena also is Xena VA literally within the boundaries of Sharia.

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Anything within the boundaries of Sharia is permissible. But anything that leads to the disobedience of Allah, we say no to it, because it's Haram. It is not permissible. Yeah, and you find some of the people Janya some of the books of saying she must wear this and do this and laugh. But say there are things like a three patter like like wearing perfume, for example for the house. Yeah, and there is a lot

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of emotion. When he said that if the woman had if a Muslim woman if the woman leaves her house, having perfume on

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and then men smell her, she is what

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she's adulterous.

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It really means also,

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that somehow we like to smell something good from our wives.

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So she must be any part of her own main part of her Xena. Part of making herself beautiful for her husband. Again, I want to remind the sisters I'm not dictating this. Okay, this is all in our Sharia. And again, my sister

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Please do this seeking the pleasure of Allah

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subhanaw taala a woman goes outside wearing perfume. She's called adulterous, but if she wears perfume for her husband, she's obedient to Allah.

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Allah subhana wa. Look,

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she gains the pleasure of Allah panada By doing this, but if she waves it outside for other men, it's Haram. If she does it at home, it's halal. That is the problem that we're having in our houses. The problem is our wives at home. They are something and when they leave the earth, something else yeah. I tell you to whom you're supposed to do this for your husband at home. When you go out, you're not supposed to expose your fitness to men,

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and so forth. That sleep and Neville sallallahu alayhi wa sallam reminded us of sleep. Also another evidence that is Xena. That the woman beautifying herself for the man is a requirement when the Rasul salatu salam cama de jabber, officially tirmidhi he banned the men who are traveling to come and enter the homes by all the sudden without a notice. Yeah, and if you're traveling, if you're traveling far away, and you spend some time away from your wife, you cannot come by all the southern why he mentioned why had that as the head Elmo ayama Alma, yada, yada the women she can clean herself clean the hair takes care of her body, so that you do not come and you're shocked with the

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way that she looks in your absence. Then the via by default, when the woman doesn't have men around her, you will find the woman not paying attention to herself.

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multipath delay, hatha vinyasa Sahaba Hannah Sahabi when some of the companions like avatar that nothing and and others when they would like to renounce their relationship and so forth, their wives would become what? Not interested even in looking good. Looking good. Yeah. So ella zodat avatar that rhodiola one when she was asked, Why are you looking like this call that your brother? Solomon asked her you brother aboda is not interested in woman. Why would I need to. So normally when you're absent the point that I'm trying to make the women doesn't pay attention to how he looks she looks. So that is why before you return, you allow her time to a to, for her to prepare herself.

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We also mentioned the FYI Annie, Milan,

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either another la her as part of also part of looking good. And when you look at your wife, you're pleased with her that she has a smile.

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She's smiling, she's happy.

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We say this to the sisters. Yeah. And when your husband comes home, meet him with a smile.

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Our messenger told us to do this with community members.

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To have Khurana minalima Rufus a while and tell

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him Please do not belittle a good deed, even needing with your brother with a smile. That here you are the wife, you're sitting at home and the husband is out there earning the bread and he's going through Hill basically to provide for you and make your life comfy. When he comes home, meet him with a smiley of tea. Seek it for the sake do it for the sake of Allah. Whatever suka fee what he asked he sada and if you smile in the face of your brother is a salata. Imagine him being what your brother in Islam, Bella's your husband and smile at him, give him a smile. Another thing that I'm going to be cautious seeing it because I see some individuals who are under the age is

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the issue of a soul.

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When Allah Subhana Allah says to the mothers of the believers, while at the haba Neville, holy fire to my lady fi Hello v murghab.

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When you speak, do not speak softly.

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Why? Because there are people with devious hearts, they may think bad about you. That tells you also that demand needs that his wife to speak to him in a certain way.

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Not a language learn. How are you doing? How's it going, you know?

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Some men By the way, a lie they call customer service, they don't have a problem. They call the customer service in order to speak to the female and when he hits a man he calls again.

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Because the customer service representatives, they are very work.

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When they speak, they end up doing what? In a way that women in a way must also fulfill this for her husband. Yeah. And he comes home and he softened up a little bit. Yeah, he shows some tenderness in that voice when you burn What's going on? laoshi Come on until you are a female. And this is a quality which you have use it. While law II am telling you that women can be the master of the house. If she can use these skills, she brings down the man immediately. Even if when there is a problem and the woman approaches the man with a soft, nice tender voice gun. Gun gun, you know when there's a problem, you know, I can see

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why we need it.

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Salaam Alaikum. We need this right? I mean, it's jungle out there man. We need some tenderness here.

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I will stop here.

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We also mentioned in the lower level dentacoin Shakira.

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I want Jani

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There are two types of wives.

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in Macedonia, we're in Mata Isa.

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She is wealthy she is rich. You know why she is rich? Because the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam defined what riches is.

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What did he say? lacell Rena, and Kathy Lara. Well, Kindle Rena, Venus.

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being rich riches, is not to have a lot of things. But riches is to be pleased with what you have.

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So this is the first time we ask our sisters to be of this type.

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Jani Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam haritaki hakima Xavi says this woman Yes.

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You're a former

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woman Yes, dagny ugni hula.

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If you strive to be happy with what you have, Allah will make you rich.

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Even without having nothing. But a lot of our women now a lot of our sisters

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they look at what the other women and what they have.

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When Allah subhanho wa Taala told us in the Quran, yani Farben, Lina de Walla Walla, Walla, Tama, Danna, ie Isla de as well gentlemen whom Zahara, tell hayati dounia, Lena Steena home fee.

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Don't look at others. We given them of the dunya to test them.

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For the Muslim women must be of this type. She must be rich, not because by the means of what she has, not by the virtue of the resources know by being pleased with what has what her husbands provide for her. A lot of women are miserable. Because they always look he didn't bring me this and you didn't do this for me. And you're not supporting me. And I'm not getting this. I look at her. I look at her. I look at that house. Have you ever been to that house? Do you see the car that they're driving? Yeah, OT one la Highlander v.

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And this is the second type of woman merata is

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miserable. And she turns the life of her family to misery because of not being content and happy and pleased with what Allah has proven. You know why she's miserable. You know why? Because the profit made to it Mr.

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Dena,

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there is a

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there is Abdul camisa de kohteessa.

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In

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the world.

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There is one Texas where either Sheikah fell into Da Li, r la

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a loser.

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a loser the slave of the Dereham the slave of the clue, the slave of the dunya when you give her oh she's happy with you. I love you honey. When you don't give miserable.

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I had in Morocco and we given you an example when he given you this

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That will never lie. He visited his son twice. And he encountered he came across the first one that type who is not grateful. So we asked our sisters, be careful with this. Because when the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam told the women who had eaten our best Yamaha Shalini said, Oh women don't does a duck give a lot of sadaqa for in your eyes to connect the knot. I show you the majority of the dwellers of the Hellfire, one of the woman asked why.

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Why call at a Quran Allah she

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will actually read

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the coronaria Annie you're ungrateful to your husband's what the cardinal sin

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you're ungrateful to the person who does accent you know, accent Allah you could not.

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If the man shows you a lot of sad and he ends up falling

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in one time, or making a mistake or not doing it not carrying on. You're ungrateful to him. We say to our sisters, be careful with this ELT, be careful with this one law E. Be careful with this. Be happy with what Allah Subhana Allah has given you. In your in your example xojo Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Ananda k swadeshi

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Muslim

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winner Rasul Allah wa sallam came to him a poor man.

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If a salted hash were you, on Fujimoto can IBM hot sauce Oh, how do you lay? The reason for the revelation of this verse? Rasul sallallahu alayhi wa sallam sends to his houses his homes

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send some food you know his wife would send with till the messenger What? What? lahia rasulillah Matthew 18 ilma by Allah messenger of Allah we only have water in the house.

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In the house,

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the rental and on boo boo Tina look at our homes. Look at the refrigerator. Look at that thing next to the refrigerator. And we still have and happy and grateful wives. We tell the sisters No, do not do this.

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Also, one of the rights that we can address today is the wife must meet his or her husband when he returns with the good news you know as soon as you return yeah and sometimes you receive the news before you actually come home

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Hello You know what happened? They said this you're going home like what? One ritual get them and one reason one feet work and one feet backwards. Like man should I go home in a lawsuit and lastly Phil vt by default by default the home must be a second mouse the

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second will you find peace tranquility serenity. Love that surplus mercy

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if the love disappears then work mercy work

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takes over that's your brother. Yes lt that's your brother has been out the whole day working hard. Working hard Be merciful. When he arrives home share with him the good news first. In time the coosaw Elia Is

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this a story out of this world.

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You

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just giving you the scoop of it quickly.

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Almost lame is the mother of Anna's of nomadic

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Harun Abu talha they had a child

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a hotel house out of town.

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The little boy died

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passed away.

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Almost when I told her neighbors and her family no one tells him anything about this except me.

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Sheffield, Mara de la da wa out of this world. Yeah, I wish we have 100 women like homosalate

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Well, life we have 100 women like almost today will make a difference.

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Daniel masilela, Heidi, an everlasting role model. Everything about her when Abu talhah was a non Muslim came to marry her and

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you're a disbeliever I'm not to marry you. And I'm Muslim. I'm a Muslim. I'm a Muslim woman

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who is when she had ns, you know, holding ns breastfeeding and NSC La La La La Salle

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Allah, she would tell him that Allah Allah, Allah, I'm preparing you the messenger is gonna come back from Mecca migrating, because she became Muslim away before the messenger arrived, that she's preparing us for a to be a to be the servant of who. And as soon as the Prophet arrives Medina, she was an ask, why is your servant she's smart, she wants us to learn

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about Anita says,

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Allah homedics you're somebody who have you on it. Yeah. And

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I was out of town.

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And the little boy died.

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A little child died. So she said to the neighbors, and everybody, don't even tell him anything. I am the one who will share this news with him

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about a car ride, he doesn't know anything. He entered the house. She prepared for him a nice meal. Imagine that's her her child too.

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That's her son.

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She's a mother of two.

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she prepares for him a nice meal.

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What a young man at law and she beautified herself to him more than what she would do in a normal course.

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imaginary why this is a very well, I I went through this experience when I was in Netherland,

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a brother who had a heart attack and he was really going through hardship be shaken. And his son he used to live in Maryland, his son got shot, I think in one of these Mississippi, one of these states.

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And the people call from Mississippi and the community chosen me to share that news with this guy.

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He doesn't know anything. Imagine you're gonna tell somebody that someone shot your son.

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While I I'll never forget this experience.

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It's very difficult. He doesn't know. And that's his son. And he's already sick. He had a heart attack already. And he's, you know, shaken, and he's an old man. And you have you have to tell him that somebody shot your son. So imagine I'm

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almost alive, I'm sorry, need to kill

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that your son died?

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Look, in spite of this, she prepares food for him.

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And then she makes herself beautiful. So that he can sleep with her. Have a husband wife relationship with her.

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Imagine?

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And then after that.

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She told him what would you say? If somebody lends you something? And he took it back?

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Sheffield, ma, ma?

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She's a mother.

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What would you say if somebody's giving you something and he asked for it.

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Nothing

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says well,

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Allah

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has taken your son away. He given it to you and he has taken him away from you.

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He became so upset.

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You read it until you did this to me and then you're telling me and he immediately went to the Prophet sallallahu wasallam complaining

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Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam actually approved what she did. And he said what Baraka la hula Kuma fee hobby reliability Puma.

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Allah has blessed your night. That means she's pregnant, and you're going to have another child.

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And yes, she had another child.

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Look at this example.

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Look that the wife must be I'm talking about a woman here that when your husband comes back home, try to comfort him first. You don't have any even they tell you in psychology that when you want to share bad news with somebody you always tell them what Yeah, like when you want to fire you know, they tell you that if you're a boss and you want to fire somebody, and then you come in a meeting with them and so Masha Allah, you've been doing a wonderful job with us, the moment that they start talking like this man, I lost my job.

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But it remains you that's how it goes really is they they they prepare you mentally to be taking this because it's difficult. The same thing we say to our sisters, let be the first meeting of your husband after he has left be adolescent one

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another right that we say to our sisters, even so I have to present the facts to you that there are some jurists who do not see this right. Even so the evidence is obvious is clear that it is right that the husband is entitled to his

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Wife, taking care of the house, cleaning the house, rebuilding the bed. The husband is entitled to this. But I wouldn't say that there are some jurists, they say actually it's optional.

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She doesn't have to do this, but I'm going to share with you more than one How do you feel? And how do you feel?

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Phil Phil Bukhari Muslim

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Olive Navistar libro de la Han.

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When he so forth him his wife who's Fatima,

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the daughter of

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the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. One Morocco mula,

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Nabi sallallahu, wasallam yaku como laminaria Kathy was in the autobahn.

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Only four women reached that status of perfection

00:30:53--> 00:31:15

hadiza or Fatima? We're Asya 1 million last year the author of the field amarrian the mother of Jesus alayhis salam. So here is a woman who reached that level. Yet when say daddy blood Vitaly show her hands swollen from a raw, the grinding, she's grinding

00:31:16--> 00:31:22

and her neck is hurting her from carrying it through the water.

00:31:24--> 00:31:52

And she is dusted by cleaning the house Fatima McCallum and Fatima Zahra rhodiola 140 Fatima the mother of all hassanal for same or the Allah one. l una de we love the family of the prophet will la he he should know that he was the son love the family of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam dearly but again we love them the way that Allah and His Messenger wants us to love them.

00:31:54--> 00:31:57

So he said to her, why didn't you go to your father

00:31:58--> 00:32:02

said no Muhammad Sallallahu sallam, maybe he will give you a servant

00:32:04--> 00:32:05

of Athena Good luck.

00:32:08--> 00:32:25

menial Bella, one of the means of corruption in our Muslim homes. When the women refrain from doing the housework. What happens? The husband goes and he gets a servant female service. And then a couple of weeks later he finds out that he went to sleep with her

00:32:28--> 00:32:29

corruption now.

00:32:30--> 00:32:54

This isn't that the reality I'm sorry? Why Lt. Why my sister do you do you allow another woman to prepare food? The ballet is a key one of the things that brings affection and love between you and your husband when you cook a nice meal. And then you put the meal in the table Masha Allah I love it. You're wonderful. I love the food. He's gonna say they still hurt him

00:32:56--> 00:33:01

he's gonna say to the female servant, Masha Allah good food. Can we meet behind the cupboard?

00:33:06--> 00:33:06

young

00:33:08--> 00:33:14

Muslim 11 lucky Yeah, a lot of Muslims they they wouldn't make this had a mouse a guru Aqua.

00:33:15--> 00:33:29

Luna and heroin Harry will hum Roma on my time will come when some of my followers will make adultery Hara you know the brother he goes and he gets his servant from willfully been from one of these kinda like milk lamb It is like a hobby we will

00:33:31--> 00:33:37

have you go get somebody serving you see this is what your right hand processes Give me a break.

00:33:38--> 00:33:39

Give me a break.

00:33:41--> 00:33:45

My fish had milk Ilia mean what your right hand possesses from you? Hello Paula.

00:33:50--> 00:34:12

Yeah, they mix in a holiday they say this is what my right hand possesses left. What is meant by what your right hand processes when you go lower you had a polyp you go outside and then you get what you get lucky and he says that he goes and gets a servant in his house and he went to sleep with her. This is what my right hand processes layer Habibi, this is a paltry

00:34:13--> 00:34:16

marry her if you want. But then face your wife

00:34:20--> 00:34:28

this market so Pamela you hear a lot of stories, especially in the movies these days. That he got to play

00:34:29--> 00:34:30

Fatima

00:34:31--> 00:34:52

so say not even Have you thought of when he saw her condition like this? He said to her go and ask your father for a service. Somebody who can serve you. And Hadith reads that she went and he found him sallallahu alayhi wa sallam her father busy with other things. So she he came back. She came back. She went back home. She for social salami.

00:34:53--> 00:34:59

He saw her coming and he felt like she wanted something but she did not ask. And he went back home

00:35:00--> 00:35:12

In the following day he went to her and he said to her, yesterday, you came to me you wanted something. I felt like you wanted something. She shied away. She did not say anything. Shake my camera camera.

00:35:15--> 00:35:17

Probably Allah Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

00:35:18--> 00:35:57

Sorry, blah, blah, blah. Juan addressed her. He said Dr. rasulillah her hands have swollen and she was considering what? A servant. Somebody who can serve her. Look what the prophet said to her. It tequila hyah Fatima. He's reminding her to have Taqwa in Allah subhanho wa Taala she's not doing something wrong. These days by the way when you tell somebody tequila as if he did something wrong. Yeah, de la sia had you know see how this has been? babinda when you go and tell somebody tequila okay what did you see me do?

00:35:59--> 00:36:03

tequila and move on to Allah make me of the righteous and move on.

00:36:06--> 00:36:10

With the Tila Tequila ha ha ha ha not too lazy to believe

00:36:13--> 00:36:19

it tequila hair Fatima Allah do leuke Allah hi really lucky min hardy

00:36:20--> 00:36:29

child Shall I tell you something much about something which is much better than a servant. Either a ye laugh erotic

00:36:31--> 00:36:38

when you go to sleep, faster behave LS and LS et CIE so panela 33 times

00:36:39--> 00:36:42

why magilla Ls and was La

00:36:43--> 00:36:54

Salle hamdulillah 33 times what kept Barry our bandwidth LS team will come and say Allahu Akbar 34 times

00:36:58--> 00:37:02

ignore the keytab Hill webinar so you mean al Qaeda and

00:37:04--> 00:37:05

steadily we're lucky in

00:37:07--> 00:37:13

the obedience to Allah Subhana Allah with actually make you a strong

00:37:14--> 00:37:30

a lot of people what is the relationship between needing a servant and saying this? When you see some handler when you obey Allah Subhana Allah, Allah will give you up physical strength, physical strength, for shadow the important had he

00:37:31--> 00:37:48

had he's been to Navy sallallahu wasallam She is the daughter of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, the wife of Allah bless the mother of Al Hassan per se and yet she is doing what cleaning the house doing grinding and she's bringing water into the

00:37:50--> 00:37:56

interior of the mighty system. That is your job. That is what you need to do when you're home. We're

00:37:57--> 00:38:18

also a snap a snap into the back of Yolanda. She used to cut in our Salesforce Cheeto every day. Bring the the inside of the day to grind it for the horse of his wife. Oh honey, Jabba Abdullah we allow on when the Prophet sallallahu Sallam asked him what kind of wife did you marry? He said I am

00:38:19--> 00:38:24

a woman who was previously married. Why? He said I want her to serve who

00:38:25--> 00:38:44

because obliging her on the father of Jabba, he left what nine. One of the world the nine sisters he had nine sisters, Jabari Abdullah of the 11 whom nine sisters. Now he didn't want to marry a virgin, a small little girl. Even so this is something that is

00:38:45--> 00:39:35

good. Why? Because he wanted this woman who can serve who has sisters. He wants somebody to take care of the house for the sisters to be like a mother for all these ahaadeeth are evidence that the women must fulfill the try for the husband but again, Jani I want to say this. Don't request it in a way also that is me and you as the husband or the husband's must request this in a nice friendly way. Don't say you have to clean the house and you have to do this and you'll be nice yeah. Yeah and be nice ahead and sometimes you get what you want by being nice. By being mean sometimes actually make you lose a lot of things. And you could go and clean the house and you know as she cleans she

00:39:35--> 00:39:43

does goes in your face like this. She could do this. She could go and cook and boys in the food for you. I mean in the sense I'm just teasing.

00:39:44--> 00:39:46

requested in a nice way.

00:39:47--> 00:39:59

If the thing comes out of love out of more than out of Rama out of it's better than you know. Don't go and say this is my turn this way. I have better why I have better if you hold on sometimes

00:40:00--> 00:40:09

Yeah Nina Masuda when I was asked what does the Prophet salallahu alaihe salam do at home, can I see him?

00:40:11--> 00:40:22

He used to actually do some of the housework. He used to do some of the house work, but this is something that we say to the sisters that pay attention to it insha Allah

00:40:26--> 00:40:27

we

00:40:28--> 00:40:29

say very quickly

00:40:30--> 00:40:39

and I really love this segments era. It is very good sisters.

00:40:40--> 00:40:44

If your husband is upset that you take the lead

00:40:45--> 00:40:46

in making up

00:40:49--> 00:40:51

you know when there is trouble when there is a problem.

00:40:53--> 00:41:02

And Nevis will allow us to sell him the car and listen to this. Mr. Bharani Malik. He says Ella of bureau combini said you can feel gentlemen

00:41:04--> 00:41:08

Can I tell you about the women who will be your wife's in gentlemen from this world?

00:41:10--> 00:41:11

Pull Nadella Rasul Allah.

00:41:12--> 00:41:18

Yes, O Messenger of Allah pada kulu din volute

00:41:19--> 00:41:28

a loving, she's loving yet. What would see she's childbearing. She has children. She gives you children.

00:41:29--> 00:41:42

Look at the barbot zoologia. That's case number one. If she makes her husband upset, to see a lie her

00:41:43--> 00:41:45

or her husband got her upset.

00:41:46--> 00:41:54

abused her two, three out the wazoo. her or her husband gets upset just

00:41:56--> 00:42:14

for getting upset. She did not cause it yet. And his fever is something like this Jani. ashara he comes home he wrote. He didn't do anything he gets upset or three cases that she made him upset. Or the husband actually abused her.

00:42:17--> 00:42:21

or her husband got upset for no reason. Carla

00:42:23--> 00:42:29

Carla, she would say had the he had the fee. Yeah. Oh

00:42:31--> 00:42:34

yeah. My sister learn from your message.

00:42:35--> 00:42:44

This is my hand in your hand tabula like if the wife does does this a lot. You're gonna forget all your problems.

00:42:45--> 00:42:49

If they do this, this is my hand in your hand right here.

00:42:51--> 00:42:56

By Allah. I will not sleep tonight until I make up with you

00:43:01--> 00:43:05

to do your hair, man. I mean this is this is your

00:43:12--> 00:43:13

this is your women engine.

00:43:15--> 00:43:23

Imagine you having the biggest problem in your house. And your wife does this. She killed it man she killed the problem is gone.

00:43:24--> 00:43:48

You're done. You're not even heavier D this is by hand in your head. Oh, by Allah. I will not let me do Jaffna. I will not close my eyes until you're pleased with me. Check. Yeah, do it do it for gentlemen. Again, gentlemen. Who do it for gentlemen.

00:43:50--> 00:43:51

Only

00:43:54--> 00:44:04

only in the movies. That's very sad. A lie is very sad. Mashallah we you know, we can you know begin with with with with teaching your daughters.

00:44:05--> 00:44:14

Yeah, if one lie By Allah, and I really mean this. If you want to serve the oma, this is where you have to start.

00:44:17--> 00:44:25

While law heavy, don't be deceived about election and we got 50% of the Parliament and 100% while law.

00:44:26--> 00:44:27

This is the way

00:44:28--> 00:44:32

to reform Islam and the oma and the Muslims.

00:44:34--> 00:44:39

Because you know what, this is the place where the next generation will be nourished.

00:44:40--> 00:44:42

Imagine your son or daughter seen this

00:44:44--> 00:44:45

between you

00:44:46--> 00:44:47

as a husband and wife,

00:44:49--> 00:44:56

Nabi sallallahu alayhi salam when he mentioned that every child is born a Muslim.

00:44:57--> 00:44:59

Allah giving you a Muslim child

00:45:00--> 00:45:06

Then the family, the house the home, we take the child away from that sutra

00:45:07--> 00:45:12

bring him into Christianity, Judaism, other religions or keep it on the federal.

00:45:13--> 00:45:18

Your child needs to see that love and affection at home.

00:45:19--> 00:45:40

Yeah, why do we have problems in our massages? Why do we have a lot of fitna and the massage these days and I'm talking I'm not talking about here but voila in other areas, because the house should be second. The house should be a place where you find peace Kwazii love, affection.

00:45:42--> 00:45:49

The houses are turning into battle grounds. Then the brother comes to the masjid and he takes this on and the community

00:45:52--> 00:45:58

that's what the problem is. But if this brother has been at home, he's gonna come here, cherry.

00:45:59--> 00:46:01

Now each one now is gonna you know

00:46:05--> 00:46:06

this is a key.

00:46:07--> 00:46:08

The house is a key.

00:46:09--> 00:46:24

We say insha Allah to the sisters take the initiative. And it goes line the line by the way with the women the nature of women. Women By the way, cannot be being patient once there is a problem.

00:46:27--> 00:46:38

Until you Jani this goes with her fitrah to the way that Allah fashion. You know when you have a problem with your wife, the wife wants to settle this problem right away now.

00:46:39--> 00:46:46

She doesn't want to eat you know you as a man know you like to go inside that row with her.

00:46:50--> 00:47:06

And saying over your man Why did I marry this woman I had this with? You want to go through that let that woman wants to talk about can we talk about this honey please can we get a sister that goes with it. This is my hand in your hand.

00:47:08--> 00:47:12

By Allah I will make it up to you. And so End of story right here.

00:47:15--> 00:47:21

We say also to the women to the wives, it is important that you honor

00:47:23--> 00:47:24

and respect

00:47:25--> 00:47:27

that parents of dust

00:47:28--> 00:47:29

and his guests

00:47:30--> 00:47:34

Why do we say this to their wives come after you to them

00:47:36--> 00:48:07

came at a deal to them. Jani you complain about your husband sometimes not being helpful. Once it comes to your own parents will show first that you're kind and nice to his parents. Add to this My dear sisters, add to this. If you do this to his mother, his father, you know what, after a while, your son will do this to you.

00:48:09--> 00:48:11

Mama your son also is going to get married one day.

00:48:13--> 00:48:16

And his wife is going to play with his head too. against you.

00:48:17--> 00:48:18

For whatever

00:48:20--> 00:48:21

can build

00:48:22--> 00:48:24

a comfortable Roku app now you can

00:48:26--> 00:48:42

be kind to your parents, your children will be crying to you will be nice to you. So we ask the sisters, the wives This will bring you cannot imagine how much credit you earn when you become nice to her family.

00:48:43--> 00:49:01

When you show kindness to her father, her mother, her relatives, she loves you for this the same exact thing sisters, if you do this for his parents, this will bring you closer you look at my wife, she's honoring my family. She's respecting them. She's showing kindness to them.

00:49:03--> 00:49:31

And to this day guests Jani when you know your husband has friends, guests, and they will not ask you to do something that is that is the Sharia? Absolutely not, but show kindness, show that you're kind to his guests. This will this will bring a lot of affection between you and your husband. inshallah, we will close by the following malaita Allah and leave

00:49:33--> 00:49:45

the last piece to tomorrow's lecture in sha Allah, maybe some warnings, some suggestions, some recommendations for the wives, once it comes to the rights.

00:49:46--> 00:49:59

I tell the sisters who did not get married yet. And I tell the women who are married. Learn about the rights of the husbands upon you. I'm telling you your equal until you my brothers until

00:50:00--> 00:50:09

My sisters in Islam, part of the problems that we have at home, that the husbands do not know the rights and the wives do not know the rights.

00:50:10--> 00:50:26

You see what we mentioned in the series from A to Z, all is supported by evidence. Anytime that we bring up a right we say palala karasuma. So, you must learn, you must know what naka de Medici Mata Mata Bharani I believe, listen to this.

00:50:27--> 00:50:39

Alpha sunon yani check it. Rajan, ATB Nettie Illa Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and listen to this. A man brought his daughter to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

00:50:40--> 00:50:50

He said to the Prophet salallahu alaihe salam ala rasulillah I want my daughter to get married but she is not accepting she does not want to get married. She doesn't want to

00:50:52--> 00:51:09

for the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said to the daughter, RCA Mbeki obey your father. For God. She said, When lady Bertha will help by the one who sent you the truth? Let us as a word I will not get married had the

00:51:10--> 00:51:16

half puzzle Gianni until I knew the right of my husband Jeff I think

00:51:19--> 00:51:20

this is a good woman

00:51:21--> 00:51:23

you want to know where you stand?

00:51:24--> 00:51:30

Yeah, it was even your the rights of the wives upon you you're gonna be asked about in a different direction.

00:51:32--> 00:52:08

If you do not fulfill it, this is betrayal of anana you have betrayed, you have fallen short. These rights are not optional. These are commands in the religion in the Sharia. And when you said in the marriage contract when you accepted you said Iraqi tabula Mary knew according to the book of Allah wa Rasulullah and according to the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah, that means you are accepting that all the conditions which are mentioned in the Quran and the Sunnah, you're going to fulfill it. So you must be aware of it.

00:52:10--> 00:52:19

must be aware of it Yeah. And one of the one of the things that when when when some of the brothers who are not married and they come and they ask my my advice, yeah, actually

00:52:21--> 00:52:22

learn for clothes.

00:52:23--> 00:52:38

Learn for closer look at what I shared with you in this series is called FICO to pick it up when in fact, there is a in the books of fi keytab came out of a film called ozora how you run a Muslim family from A to Z.

00:52:39--> 00:52:47

A lot of the Muslims are not aware of this. They do know that they have to do this they have to do that. And they use their own judgments.

00:52:48--> 00:53:10

You know, and sometimes they adopt the ways of non Muslims. Sometimes they hear the Nazi have other people and he ends up messing up the whole thing. But you see, a slam is a Sharia teaches you how to go to the bathroom. Islam also organized that relationship from A to Z. Islam teaches you how to sleep with your wife.

00:53:11--> 00:53:18

What to say how to do it, where you cannot do it where you can do Islam teaches you this.

00:53:19--> 00:53:43

So we have to say to the sisters, before getting married, learn then I shared with you a hadith in the last lecture a croissant sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said to the woman who agenda took one hour, he's going to be the reason for you to go to Janna. That's what it means or the reason for you to go to the Hellfire Club. Oh,

00:53:44--> 00:53:57

yeah, imagine if the woman pays attention to the rights of the husbands upon her in the Day of Resurrection when you're desperate needy, she's gonna be set if this is going to be said to her choose any of the eight gates of Jannah to get to general

00:53:58--> 00:53:59

by the virtue of

00:54:01--> 00:54:03

Learn, learn. This is number one.

00:54:05--> 00:54:20

We say also these are like a full of form of warnings for the sisters. Yeah of tea, my sister. Do not tie your obedience to your husband. With his kindness to you finish at

00:54:21--> 00:54:33

the top. She always ties the obedience. with with with what with him being nice. If he is not nice. I'm not going to be

00:54:34--> 00:54:37

if he's not nice to her. I'm not going to be

00:54:38--> 00:54:41

in a way. If he's not nice. I'm not going to be

00:54:42--> 00:54:43

happy, happy.

00:54:45--> 00:54:59

obeying Your husband is arrived upon you. It has nothing to do with whether he is nice or not. Of course, it helps that you're nice. It helps but we say to the sisters do not tie this to

00:55:00--> 00:55:02

His kindness to you.

00:55:03--> 00:55:18

We say also to the sisters and I, I kind of said this in context when I was talking about being grateful to the husband to be aware, my sister with being ungrateful to your husband,

00:55:19--> 00:55:42

Kyoko florala, she's the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam when he mentioned the reason why the majority of the dwellers of the Hellfire are from the women, because they are ungrateful to the husband be grateful, said Hamdulillah, Masha Allah, you allies providing for us and happy with my life for you. It's a Wonderful Life. Yes, weather in Chicago.

00:55:44--> 00:55:46

Weather in Chicago, as

00:55:47--> 00:55:52

I tell also the sisters do not tie

00:55:53--> 00:55:56

your obedience to your husband, to your jealousy.

00:55:58--> 00:55:59

Some women are jealous.

00:56:01--> 00:56:08

And whenever they see that the man is acting up a little bit, or there is a woman who's acting up around the man.

00:56:09--> 00:56:29

She doesn't obey her and she tries What else do I have to say jealousy is something Jani can be jealous, reasonably honey, jealous for your husband, but don't tie this to his obedience. You still have to obey Him. You still have to fulfill his rights. Even if you're jealous.

00:56:31--> 00:56:38

We say also to the sisters, sisters, please when you get upset, don't ask for divorce. Don't

00:56:40--> 00:56:47

you see? I tell her this. Don't call the cops. Don't ask for divorce. Don't leave the house.

00:56:49--> 00:56:50

Do

00:56:51--> 00:56:54

these are three red zones.

00:56:55--> 00:57:31

And I'm telling you, sister, because you're upset because you're mad. And then you tell your husband divorced me. You know what? If this guy says a divorce you have this husband says I divorce you. You will never feel secure in that relationship anymore. And I'm telling this to my brothers never kill your wife. I divorce you. Never, never. The moment that you tell her I divorce her one time. One time she's done. That relationship is in its way to end. Why? Because she will not feel secure anymore.

00:57:33--> 00:57:57

Because you see that the bar? The one thing that hold that relationship is that word. If you're willing to say for no reason or because she is mad and upset, you say she's gonna feel insecure? What if he says it again? You still have two more chances. What if he says it again? Then you're going to find the wife actually beginning planning the way out

00:57:59--> 00:58:11

because she's concerned now he said it one time he can say twice he can say three times. Now half of the money which supposed to be used for the family is going to be channeled somewhere under what if

00:58:13--> 00:58:48

you give another reason to consider this without this. That's why I'm telling you don't don't ever say yeah, Aki Allah subhanho wa Taala please this in your hand. You're the husband. You're the man. You're the man. Don't say this word when you're upset when you're angry. Don't Don't I tell the sisters do not request it. And you will love it. What are the brothers will be called the year she my wife told me laocoon Raja coligny she says this way if you're a man in the sense of man, divorced me.

00:58:49--> 00:58:50

What should I do?

00:58:56--> 00:58:58

Go you're the most Mmm.

00:59:00--> 00:59:02

should look at the woman what she's divorced me.

00:59:03--> 00:59:27

Or a problem? Yeah, we're also we have in our own, especially the sisters who are living in America. And I really want to balance this also. Because if the sisters is exposed to domestic violence, and the husband is weird and mean, then if her only resolved is to call the cops I tell her that's fine. But for silly reasons you call the cops while law he I had a sister

00:59:28--> 00:59:37

because the husband refuse to buy her birth. obverse one of these, you know, woman things. Nurse, she called the cops.

00:59:41--> 00:59:58

And then the guy went and spent four nights in jail, four nights in jail. And when he came out, he's very cautious with her. He doesn't want to come near her. And then she calls me my husband doesn't love me anymore. She can I come and do some counseling. I thought the issue there is and then when they told me they should

01:00:01--> 01:00:02

Your husband doesn't love you anymore.

01:00:03--> 01:00:04

Well, I know my

01:00:07--> 01:00:21

life I mean is pleased I would not enter this house again. What if you asked me for a McDonald's? halaal McDonald's or something? I don't get it. I'm gonna spend another week in jail. Let me give me a break. I mean, come on, sister. What is this?

01:00:22--> 01:00:50

What is this? I mean, listen, we want to balance also, because there are abusive husbands. There are husbands who are and we're going to talk about this in Sharla regarding domestic violence and beating the wives and stuff like this. Come on. There are husbands who the only way the only resort. Yeah, I got I got a sister who calls me that her husband booter inside the bathroom and shut the door. And he's beating her up. And she's yelling loud that the neighbors heard the yelling they call the police.

01:00:52--> 01:01:02

Yeah, oh, stuff like that. So it takes two to tango and the way but I tell my sisters, don't call the police on your husband's for silly reasons. Come on.

01:01:04--> 01:01:24

You're not even supposed to take this outside the boundaries of the family. For silly reasons. For those are red zones. Don't leave the house when he makes you upset. Don't. Don't say I'm gonna leave. I'm gonna take the children away. That was her truth. You're gonna not gonna see them anymore. Until you come down, down. And

01:01:25--> 01:01:28

if they don't say this to your husbands, don't

01:01:29--> 01:01:41

don't leave the house. Don't call the cops. Unless this comes with a restriction. I want to balance this. All right. Don't call the cops don't say to him, divorce me for silly reasons.

01:01:45--> 01:01:50

Don't get other people involved in that relationship.

01:01:51--> 01:02:08

Big problem. When the wife begins talking to her family begins talking about her problems with her friends, then those people will start offering what help suggestions. But I'm telling you, the husbands causes this in a lot of cases.

01:02:09--> 01:02:36

Why? He gets her upset, he gets her mad. And now he secludes himself. He doesn't want to speak about it. way the wife must speak about well, that's why they call us the opposite genders. The husband doesn't want it. The man doesn't want to speak about it. But the wife want to speak about it. Now. She's What is he? He's gone. He disappeared. And he doesn't show up for three nights. Mom, you know what's happened?

01:02:37--> 01:02:40

Well, my daughter you know, we need to do doo doo doo doo doo doo.

01:02:42--> 01:02:45

It's like exactly like calling the United Nations

01:02:46--> 01:02:54

you're having problems in your house. And then you don't take care of your problems. The United Nations are gonna come in and

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chapter seven or chapter seven,

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chapter seven, something like that.

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And all these things we we we say to the sisters to stay away from it insha Allah, we tell the sisters help your husbands to be righteous and pious,

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equal ally a lot of the problems that we have in our homes because of the sins

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because of the sins Jani the wife must be a key Did you pray? And Nabi sallallahu Sallam Dakar fishermen Abbey Road we shouldn't say Allah wa him Allah whom Allah Allah who will have mercy in a woman who wakes up at night to bury the head.

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And she does what

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she does what wakes up her husband to pray. And if he doesn't know how the hell did you do this, my sister? Did you do this? My dear wife one time, one time. Do it one time. Wake up your husband. For Salah. encourage him to be obedient to Allah. Yeah, the fee for service una de

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la hamdulillah Cyril Merrick Sahabi. He got married last night.

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In the morning, in the morning. Hi, you.

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Time to go to the Battle of

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Hamada left the house in the morning FIBA was limited and in good luck. Some scholars who say that if you get married, you don't have to bring the machine for a whole week.

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Callum

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Callum holiday Colleen

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Jani when you get married, you don't have to break the vehicle.

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module for Sabah was cool. Y'all will always breeze later on Rasul Allah wa salam when he was killed, he saw the angels washing his body.

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He said the angels are watching his body ask his wife.

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His wife says what? By Allah. He did not wait to do was

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Yanni we talk about satana harmala Viola one in a way, we must also talk about this woman

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hmm she did not say to him What are you going near the sabaha This is my various day in marriage, you leaving me and going outside no go ha ha de masala Ha. This is a righteous woman who let her husband leave in the morning, quickly, quickly like this for the wife, the more that you encourage your husband to be obedient to Allah subhanho wa Taala. The more that he will be nice to Yaki I tell you, that, if Allah subhanaw taala and this is a problem that we have in our homes, if Allah Subhana Allah has blessed you with some wealth, that you're more wealthy than your husband spend on your husband. And this is sort of, by the way, any penny that the woman spends on her family is an act of

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charity because she does not have to provide for her family.

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She used to support our beloved Minnesota Sahabi and provide for him.

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Whenever Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam when he used to braise Khadija Lavanya what he used to say airmagnet v she believed in me when all of the people believed in me, and she shared her money with me. Ha ha, Dejan omoni Ravi Allah, Juana xojo Naveen de

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la Mancha region. She shared her wealth with me.

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In closing, we say My dear sisters, yeah. And it's upon Allah. The right of the husband abou new is tremendous had Deborah Donati

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even after his death, after he dies, Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says, lay a halo Lima and the head the focus LS a woman is not allowed to do that more than three days Allah Allah azza wa jal

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is out. Look at the right of the husband sisters. Look at the Sharia. Well Edina with a phone I mean Kuma de Luna as Virginia Tara bas nabee emphases in Aruba, Tasha washa, four months and 10 days,

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four months and 10 days 130 days, she stays at home she cannot do coastal, she cannot do three her why for her husband they have unhappy he la so we say to the sisters in sha Allah observed these rights with this reformulate Allah we have completed the rights of the husbands abandon their wives, brothers and sisters in Islam just in preparation for tomorrow's lecture, which is the last lecture in the series. In spite of all of this, listen, this does not mean that you're not going to have problems in your homes.

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You're not getting it if you think that you're not going to Yes, we absorb these slides yes, we do our best to strive to follow these slides implement these rights, but I'm telling you, you're gonna have problems in your homes.

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But now you know how to deal with it.

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And the house of the Prophet he had problems

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man who have the looming Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Vanessa for 29 days 29 days religion fear for the Quran was revealed in it for insha Allah the next lecture, which is the last lecture of the series, we're gonna talk about the type of problems why the reason for them and offer solutions in one lecture in sha Allah and this will be the last lecture beat me later either of the series love marriage and divorce. Does akmola hayleigh Suhana turloughmore the handig eyeshadow Allah Allah heyland esta Furukawa tulelake al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil aalameen